Honeybee Mama

haiku wednesday

2013-05-15T22:16:00.000-05:00

started my day with

yoga hoping for more sanity

it helped a little

haiku wednesday

2013-05-01T19:59:00.002-05:00

kids, phone calls, planning

sunshine, warmth, and great old friends

food truck lunch, good news

haiku wednesday

2013-04-24T13:31:00.003-05:00

one thing at a time

doors close, windows opening

breathe deep, carry on

{my moment}

2013-04-12T12:15:00.000-05:00

A moment captured from the week that captured my heart.

A Friday ritual inspired by Soulemama.

"Hey Mom, you wanna see me hula hoop around my legs?"

I sure do.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your moment in your comment.

Happy Weekend, Lovies!

I Love My Perfect Life

2013-04-09T14:11:00.000-05:00

Something has been increasingly bothering me lately, and it's not my perfect life.

I love the blog Soulemama. I don't read it every day, but I like checking in with her from time to time. I also love her this moment posts, which is why I started doing my own my moment posts. The blogger, Amanda Soule, has a life completely other than my own. She lives in rustic Maine, has small farm animals, cans, knits, unschools, and is pretty much an all around ultra crunchy mama.

I came across a blog post a while back titled I am Not a Fan of Soulemama.com. The author writes about how it bothers her, as a crunchy mom herself, that Amanda Soule seemingly portrays natural parenting as easy and peaceful all the time. She points out that the Soulemama blog has pictures of children playing carefree outside without showing them bickering with each other or disobeying their parents, or how Amanda blogs about knitting for hours on end without sharing how she had to get up to tend to children several times within that time frame.

Meadowblue blogger (I cannot find her name) expresses how expensive and taxing and sacrificial natural living often is, and she is right, but if you can't celebrate someone portraying how fulfilling it also is, what's the point? If you already know how hard that lifestyle is, why do you need someone else to blog about it? And what does it benefit anyone to constantly have to balance the beauty of natural living with the hardship that can accompany it? I mean, do I have to tell you something negative along with every positive thing I write?

Now, hold that thought.

Recently, I've noticed several friends posting facebook statuses complaining about people that "constantly post updates and pictures of how perfect their life is all the time." THEN the icing on the cake was someone posting an article from Relevant Magazine titled Stop Instagramming Your Perfect Life. The author writes how disconcerting it can be to read blogs about fun activities to do with your kids, or see happy pictures on friends' instagram accounts, when you feel insecure about your own family or personal life. She shares that the internet and social networking sites should be community building and life giving and I agree.

But, is it a bad thing that life sometimes looks better in pictures? Should I feel guilty for capturing the one moment of the entire week that all four of my kids were smiling and wanting to share it with others? Does me posting fun family activities mean my life is like that all the time, or even that I'm attempting to portray that it is? Why would someone even assume that?

I don't know anyone who wants to read a blog about how hard life is. I don't. It seems to me the people who are so bothered by others' positivity are the ones "constantly" posting about how awful their life is! Apparently complaining about another person's happiness is the latest trend in negativity.

I guess I approach everything I see and read with the understanding that it is only a part of the picture. Even supermodels have to stink up a bathroom from time to time and every one of them is airbrushed in magazines. I do appreciate bloggers like Ashley Campbell, who writes Under the Sycamore, who includes struggles, and pictures with piles of laundry or dirty dishes in the background. It is nice to have proof of the imperfection in others' lives, but I don't need them to tell me to know it's there.

I mean it when I say life is what you make of it. I also do think my life is perfect. When I say that, I don't mean to say it isn't without struggle or hardship. Often I think my life would read like the script of a Lifetime movie or an episode of the Dr. Phil show! If you want to hear about it, bring over a bottle (or two) of wine on a Saturday night and I'll fill you in. But for goodness sake, if there weren't difficulties I wouldn't appreciate times of ease as much. What is important is that I always have what I need, I often have things I want, and I am surrounded with love, community and endless opportunities to better myself and the lives of others around me. What more could I really ask for in life?

If there is anything I am trying to prove or portray on my blog or elsewhere it's that there is beauty and perfection in the midst of chaos and struggle. I work hard to view life this way and to stay positive and grateful, so I have no apologies for splashing social media with my happiness.

Life is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Balance is a choice. I don't need to point out another person's hardships to be justified for having my own struggles and I don't need to air my own dirty laundry to shelter others from the bliss I experience, whether it is rare or often. I am not responsible for another person's insecurities and I cannot worry about offending someone with my joy.

I genuinely hope that by sharing joy and positivity and love I can instill in others the drive to find their own happiness and create their own "honey" in life. Bees work tirelessly to create honey and I don't feel bad when I enjoy it! Maybe this is a challenge to me to do more to bring joy into the lives of others so they can splash their own perfect life all over social media!

^"Rejoice always;pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Life is what you make of it, lovies. Make honey, and don't apologize for it!

Carrie's Birth Story

2013-03-28T14:13:00.004-05:00

In honor of World Doula Week, March 22-28, 2013, I am posting as many birth stories as I have submitted! I want to share stories of women who had doula support for their birth and how they feel they benefited from the experience.

If you would like to share your story, please submit it by email. Include anything you wish to, but particularly how and why you chose to have a doula at your birth, what she did, and how you feel it made your birth experience a positive one.

Please enjoy Carrie's story of the birth of her daughter.

We met with a super-awesome doula here in Durham named Erin. She encouraged us to go to a meet-the-doulas meeting to meet her back-ups. She said that she had only had that happen once, but that it was always a good idea. So I went with my best friend Jennifer.

While there, I solidified that I definitely wanted to hire Erin, but told her that if I was one of those people who needed a back-up, and the option was there, I would pick Joanne if I could. I just liked her vibe.

Fast forward six months...on August 22nd. I'm at the sewing machine working on the crib skirt for our little girl. We are due on the 25th and CERTAIN she will be late. I'm a twin who was born on her due date and both of my brothers were ten days late! We figured the universe would get me back for my "punny" ways by making me labor on Labor Day! I had even sent Erin an email earlier that day saying that I had only been 1cm at my appointment on Monday and I wasn't feeling anything so I was a sure I'd see her next week!

But at 11pm, after having worked until 8...labor began. And it wasn't "early" labor either--didn't feel a lick of that, I realized later. (At the time I was freaking out, looking at my phone on my app in between contractions and wondering why my timing didn't match early labor!) I messaged Erin who said she was already at the hospital with another mom--she'd send us a back-up doula for now and meet up with us after the mom delivered--the first twin would probably arrive soon. And turns out that not only was it Joanne, she was her only back-up available, so I was certain to get her.

As fortune would have it, Joanne turned out to be the perfect doula for me that day because I was having SO much hip pain and tension in my legs--and Joanne is also a massage therapist! Joanne was there for us at home to help us labor and went with us to the hospital. As it turned out, she was there all the way through my daughter's birth! (the second of the twins was slower to arrive than anticipated!) Erin got to come see us about 45 minutes after our daughter was born, and both Erin and Joanne teamed up to take care of the post-partum. It was wonderful!

I am SO glad we chose to hire a doula. I really don't know that I could've gone epidural-free (and even IV free) without one. They gave me confidence in my own choices, educated me when necessary and were just amazing!

For more information about finding a doula in the Tulsa area, please see DONEOK, DACO, and DONA International.

Happy World Doula Week!

Archer's Birth

2013-03-27T21:57:00.006-05:00

Please enjoy Ashley's story of her second birth. Ashley was a client of mine last year and she and her husband are a lovely couple!

With my second pregnancy, our family had just moved to Oklahoma and I discovered that my natural birth plan was not as excitedly supported as it had been in Canada, where I enjoyed such an experience with the delivery of my first son. Nevertheless, I was determined to re-experience natural childbirth again, but knew I would need some extra support to have my voice heard, and bolster my confidence in my plan along the way.

Enter Missy.

With our first meeting, I knew that Missy was the person my husband and I would need during this great time in our lives. She was warm, inviting, knowledgeable and supportive of all my ideas and questions. During my pregnancy there were a few hiccups. The first being the slight possibility that I may need a C-section due to a low-lying placenta, and the second being told my midwife/nurse practitioner would be unable to deliver our baby as planned since she herself would be on maternity leave. This meant that I would be left with who was ever on call at the hospital – a thought that provoked a great deal of anxiety for me. In both of these instances, I was so grateful I had Missy to turn to. She alleviated my fears on both fronts by providing reassurances that no matter what happened, I would be just fine and that she would be there to support me regardless of the outcome. Missy and I met a couple of times over during my pregnancy to review my birth plan, meet with the midwife, and to test out some techniques of relaxation and natural pain alleviation that I thought I would want to use during my labor. Every time I left our meetings, I was high on excitement, and confident in my body’s ability to deliver my second son without medical intervention.

After a couple of false starts, my delivery day finally came! Determined to stick to my plan and not end up on my back in a hospital bed, I spent the day shopping through my labor pains (a great distraction if there ever was one!), and staying in touch with Missy about the status of my contractions. With Missy by our side, we checked into the hospital around midnight, and at 3:31am our big baby boy arrived! During those 3+ hours, Missy walked the hospital halls with me and made sure I stayed hydrated. During my contractions, she supported me, swayed with me, rubbed my back and constantly reminded me to have faith in my body and to relax. Those few short hours were REALLY intense, but I credit Missy to the fact it was only 3+ hours of intensity, and not 12. She was the one who suggested various positions for pain relief, and using the birthing ball to encourage my baby to move down quickly and gently – in fact, this is when my water broke. During the pushing stage, Missy was at my side helping me to focus my energy. Post-delivery, I required a bit of medical intervention, so Missy stayed with me and soothed my remaining fears away. Of all the wonderful and amazing things that Missy did for me during my labor, the one I am most grateful for was when she was ‘my voice’. At points during the process, I was unable to communicate effectively/clearly with the hospital staff about my wishes, so Missy made sure that they were accurately expressed. And when they couldn’t always be fulfilled, she quickly sought out helpful alternatives to ensure that I was comfortable and able to follow my body’s demands.

I would recommend a doula to any pregnant woman, regardless of what level of medical intervention her birth plan entails. It’s just so reassuring to have support and warmth during one of life’s most intense - but wonderful - experiences!

Corbin's Birth

2013-03-25T09:40:00.000-05:00

And now, a birth story from another long time friend I used to rock out with to Michael W Smith, Jill.

Five years ago, I had been going to prenatal yoga and had a wonderful instructor, Celeste McNeal, who was studying to be a doula. Through months of yoga with her, she could relax me down with the simple sound of her voice. I read a book about natural childbirth at the urging of many people at the yoga facility. The book described natural childbirth as taking mental control over pain during childbirth. Well, I was studying to be a psychologist and mental power is what I believe in - so now I had to do it!

I asked if she would be my unofficial doula and she agreed. With Celeste as 'the voice' and my husband there to rub my back, the birth of my son went well. I was even induced with Pitocin and had my water broken and was able to do it without an epidural.

I spent a lot of time on a birthing ball and I think Celeste and my husband had to listen to the same song on repeat for about 20 minutes (note to the readers: Celeste interjected here and clarified that they probably listened to that Jack Johnson song for HOURS!) while I was in the zone!

There were some complications with the third stage of labor and I ended up needing surgery to remove the placenta, which was scary, but what I remember most about the birth is the amazing support I had from Celeste. It was such a calm and positive experience I still wanted a natural birth with my second child!

Thank you Jill and Celeste for sharing this story with me.

For more information about World Doula Week, please see their website here.

The Story of Ellie's Birth

2013-03-23T18:20:00.002-05:00

Just a little less than thirteen years ago, I was a teen pregnancy statistic. I was nineteen years old, pregnant, unwed, and clueless. And, needless to say, scared! I was pretty much a kid myself. All I really knew was that I loved my baby before I ever saw her face, and I didn't want to let her down. I wanted to be a good mom. So, I got connected to a fantastic support group called Crisis Pregnancy Outreach. They are a non-profit organization that helps out girls who are pregnant and don't know what to do. They set me up with my first doctors appointment, helped me out with maternity clothes, and I had access to counseling and breastfeeding support. They also run an open adoption service, which is amazing. One of the coolest things they offered was a doula for Ellie's birth. I had never even heard of a doula!

Now, everyone who knows me knows that I am a book nerd. If I can educate myself about something, I will find every resource I can and just dig in. With the support of my doctor and my doula, I researched and wrote a birth plan. I was empowered to decide to do things differently than most birth experiences go.

When I started having contractions, I called my doula before I called my doctor. With her encouragement, I decided to stay home for awhile, and labor in the comfort of my own, well, my shower actually. The next morning, she met me at the hospital with a giant exercise ball and a lot of patience. She was my advocate with the hospital staff. When things started to stall, she made sure I was free to walk the halls. She made sure the people I wanted to be in the room were there. She encouraged me, and told me I was strong. That night, after making it through a natural birth and holding my beautiful daughter, I believed that I was, indeed, strong.

At nineteen years old, facing single-motherhood, there were a million reasons to believe that I was too weak, too young to get through a natural birth, let alone being a decent parent. My doula treated me with respect, demanded respect on my behalf, and taught me to respect my own instincts. I wouldn't trade that experience for anything.
This week was Ellie's twelfth birthday, and my thirty-second. After all these years, I still second-guess whether or not I'm cut out to be a mom. I would guess that most moms do. I am still able to go back to my birth experience as a touchstone of strength, though. I was able to begin my life as a mom empowered, educated, and supported. It's made all the difference.

Thank you, Sarah, for sharing your story. You ARE strong. You are beautiful, and you ARE a wonderful mother!

For more information about World Doula Week, please see their website here.

For more information about Crisis Pregnancy Outreach, please see their website here.

Reorganizing and Letting Go

2013-03-19T09:22:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking a lot lately about my priorities and what is most important in my life. My blog is an extension of both my business and my life. When I began writing, it was mostly a way for me to express myself, and sort through the issues in my heart in a relevant way in hopes of connecting with other people who may be experiencing the same things. When I launched my business, I wanted to incorporate evidence based information about pregnancy and childbirth into my already existing blog for my readers.

One way I decided to get organized and keep myself focused on "work things" was to have Mama Monday each week. This corner of my blog was to be the place where at least once a week I made sure to have a detailed and information rich post dealing with important pregnancy and childbirth related content. It worked for a while, but as time went on, Monday would come and go and I hadn't posted a specific Mama Monday article. Then if I wanted to write about it later in the week, I felt like I needed to past-date the post or wait until the next week so it would be on Monday, then it would just never get written. Part of it had to do with the fact that a specific pregnancy issue hadn't come to mind yet as relevant to discuss, but more commonly I found that "life" got in the way and I just couldn't make it to the computer.

As I embrace my role as a full time mom more and more, I realize that "life" isn't getting in the way. Life is the way. Around here, we call it Life in the Hive. I made a choice to incorporate my work into my personal blog because that's how it is with me; life and work and personal are all interconnected. I feel that when I write from my heart about life and love I am doing as much if not more than I do when I share more content based information about pregnancy and childbirth. Over time, as I tried to focus on having a "work" related article each week and then missing that article each week, I slowly stopped writing from the heart as much.

I am missing out on tapping into the emotional and creative ebb and flow that posts like Recipe for Family Night and Inspire Me bring, and I think you are too. So, I'm getting rid of Mama Monday. I will still post pregnancy and childbirth related posts; I just am going to let go and stop pretending that it will happen every week, or every Monday. For those of you that may search for these posts using Mama Monday as a tag, I will leave them tagged as such, but I will remove Mama Monday from their titles.

I work best when I share what's on my heart in the moment and when I'm not constrained by arbitrary rules, even rules I constructed myself! So, get ready for the new and improved Honeybee Mama, which is really just what Honeybee Mama always was and is letting herself be again!

Full Time Mom

2013-03-12T17:53:00.000-05:00

Titles are interesting. Line up ten business cards and you'll see an array of descriptive titles like "Vice President of Sales," "Director of Communication," "Acquisition Facilitator," and more. I mean, how many different titles can you use to describe someone in sales without calling him a salesperson? Aren't we all trying to paint ourselves in a little bit better light or project a certain level of power or prestige?

A year and a half ago, when I left my full-time job to stay at home with my kids and launch my small business, I remember having a conversation about this with my husband. I knew it was going to be a while before I really started acquiring clients and creating income with my job and I would essentially function like a stay-at-home-mom for a while. I was very insecure about this. While I had experience as a stay-at-home-mom and knew it was far more than eating bon bons and watching soaps, I was afraid of people judging me for a variety of reasons.

My husband said, "Well, don't tell people you're a stay-at-home-mom. You work from home now." For some reason, it felt and sounded better to me to be able to tell people I was a work-at-home-mom rather than a stay-at-home-mom. I held a lot of pride in that, and as my little business has grown I have become a featured blogger for TulsaKids Magazine, appeared on a local FOX morning show, and even received a Gold Award for my blogging through Parenting Media Association. But, that's not the half of my job.

I've also spent a lot of time snuggling, making breakfasts, lunches, dinners, grocery shopped, cared for sick children, driven countless miles, helped with homework and projects for four grade levels, mediated countless arguments and squabbles, taught a kid to ride a bike, pulled a few loose teeth and revolutionized my family's medicine cabinet with whole foods, essential oils and vitamins. I am frequently called "The Best Mom in the World," and I have actually made "The World's Best Enchilada Casserole," just to mention a few of my other accolades!

Something has changed in my heart recently in regards to my life and job title. I think it happened over the month of January when we had all four of our kids full time for a little over a month. Since we're a blended family and Marc and I share our kids with former spouses, we often only have two at a time, with occasional weekends of all four.

After growing accustomed to having most days to myself to write, sew, network, meet with clients and leisurely accomplish tasks necessary for maintaining our home, it took me a while to adjust to the new schedule. Two of the kids go to school in Glenpool and the other two go to school in Broken Arrow. In addition to that, Carter does his schoolwork online, but attends a study hall class in Glenpool midday. This means morning school drop off, midday trip to Carter's class, and afternoon pick-up rounds, with my computer being hijacked by a sixth grader in the in-between times. It also means that most days I get little more accomplished besides preparing meals, squeezing in exercising, cleaning up and doing laundry before passing out before 9:00 at night!

I was instantly catapulted into work as a Full Time mom. One day, I was apologizing to Marc for not being able to get more "work" done and contribute to our family income. He so sweetly encouraged me and said, "I don't need you to make money. I just need you to hold everything together. You do whatever you have to do to oget through each day." What I began to realize that day was that while my husband bears the bulk of the financial responsibility for our home, I bear the emotional responsibility of our home along with holding together everything else like school, communication with teachers, doctors appointments, extracurricular activities when we have them, transportation everywhere, bank accounts, discipline, chores, groceries and the list goes on and on. "Just" being a mom is exactly what my family needs from me right now.

As I slowly let go of the expectations I had on myself to still accomplish "work" during this time, I remembered my days as a brand new mother. Aidan was a high need baby, and every night I spent an hour or more nursing, swaddling, rocking, walking, jiggling and shushing him just right until he finally fell asleep. As I did, I reminded myself over and over that this was my job. Somehow it brought me peace to reassure myself that there was nowhere else I needed to be, nothing else that was more important than what I was doing at that very moment. It brought immense freedom to know I was released from any other responsibility, real or imagined. Surrendering to motherhood is actually freedom, not slavery if you look at it with a clear perspective.

Over the last several weeks this realization has taken root in my heart in a whole new way. Yes, I am still a doula. Yes, I am still a blogger. Yes, I still make and sell baby products and do a variety of "jobs." But my first job, my Full Time job is motherhood. When I prioritize my life in this way, I am not frustrated to get to the end of the day or week not having written a single blog or sewn one sling. I know that if I have cared for my children and supported my husband, I have done my job. I know we are fortunate that my income is extra and supplements my husband's provision for us, and if things ever change requiring me to bring more to the table things will have to shift again.

But in the meantime, I am really enjoying motherhood and feel a new energy and desire to give our kids everything I possibly can. Believe it or not, I'm actually entertaining the thought of homeschooling, but we'll just have to see about that one. I am a Full Time Mom with some part-time jobs and a whole lot of passion, and I'm not embarrassed in the least to tell people that.

Maybe I should change my business cards...

haiku wednesday

2013-02-27T14:30:00.003-06:00

thanks to spotify

and my Black Keys station, I'm

productive today!

Something's Changing

2013-02-26T20:08:00.001-06:00

Maybe it's the fact that I turn 32 this year and I seem to be leaving the naivete and ego of my twenties behind me.

Or maybe it was the month of having four kids full time, with an insane schedule, and how it forced me to put aside many of my business projects and focus on being a full-time mom.

Maybe it was the day I decided to own my real size and buy a pair of jeans that actually fit me instead of believing my butt is still the same size it was in college (or high school for that matter). They're crazy comfortable by the way.

Maybe it's the Lavender and Bergamot essential oil I've fallen in love with.

It could be the cinnamon I've been putting in my coffee, along with the pure local honey I stir in every morning that makes me oh so happy.

Maybe it's the extra time we have as a family in the evening since none of the kids are enrolled in extracurricular activities right now.

It could be my renewed interest in homeschooling my kids.

Maybe it's my amazing husband who loves and supports me in everything I do, who comes home and wants to tell me about his day and hear about mine, who uniquely compliments me as a person and as a parent so perfectly. He is the best life partner I could ever have and I couldn't imagine going through the chaos of our life with any other soul on the planet.

Or maybe it's the yoga, my new most favorite exercise ever, and how it opens my soul, strengthens my body, and calms my mind.

Maybe it's the new contact prescription I just got that has alleviated my headaches and tiredness (because it's significantly more powerful than the last one) that is giving me a clearer perspective (even though I'm sure it's further evidence that I'm just getting older).

Maybe it's a combination of them all. I don't know what it is, but something is happening inside of me. You know that scene in How the Grinch Stole Christmas, where the Grinch's heart grows three sizes?

Okay, well, whatever I'm experiencing is not as seemingly painful as what Jim Carrey's version of The Grinch was, but I do sort of feel like my heart is growing. Believe me, I'm not saying my life is all roses and perfect Pinterest recipes. I have PLENTY of negativity, stress, mistakes and challenges. But I am starting to see all the things I can't control or change in a new way. They don't bother me so much because they're out of my hands.

What I can control is how I act, respond, feel and how I love others. I can control the moments I choose patience over anger, or to ignore my phone during dinner and listen to my kids ramble on about their days. I can control my attitude and how I view what I have with thankfulness instead of ruminating on all the things I want. I can appreciate my health and all the things I CAN do with my body, instead of agonizing over the fact that my love handles are exploding over the tops of pants I outgrew about seven years ago.

Whatever it is happening inside the deepest parts of me I don't want to ignore. Whatever is growing or awakening I want to embrace and encourage.

Life is what I make of it, not what anyone else projects on me. In spite of expenses and hardship I may endure at the hand of another, or disappointment and heartache I may experience, I am still here. I am still breathing, moving and living. I will make honey instead of bitterness. I will choose happiness over resentment. And I will rest knowing everything really is going to be alright.

Namaste.

Okay... maybe it is the yoga.

Mama Monday - Vitamin K Injections

2013-02-25T13:59:00.000-06:00

Your choices in childbirth go beyond how you will labor and how the hospital staff treats you and your partner. As a parent, you have choices as to how your child is treated when he or she is born. One of the areas in which you have choices is in regards to newborn procedures.

One of those procedures, which is often blindly accepted by parents, is the Vitamin K injection. We think of vitamins as things that are good for us and perfectly harmless, so why would the Vitamin K injection be something to question?

What Is the Vitamin K Injection?

Since newborns are born with low amounts of vitamin K, which enhances blood clotting and reduces incidence of hemorrhaging, most hospitals routinely administer a Vitamin K injection. Though the risk of fatal cerebral hemorrhage is rare in infants, about 1 in 200 [i], the practice of administering Vitamin K to all newborns as a precautionary measure has become universally accepted.

What You Need To Know about the Vitamin K Injection:

Vitamin K injection is not a necessity and it is a choice. If your child is at risk of severe blood loss, it would be a valuable intervention. Some suggest that even if a baby is breastfeeding that he/she should receive supplementation of Vitamin K in either oral or injectable form because of the low level of the vitamin in newborns.

It can be valuable for boys undergoing early circumcision (before the eighth day after birth), as blood clotting aids in the healing process from this procedure. One should note, however, that the level of vitamin K in a newborn's body on the eighth day of birth is the only time in his life it will exceed 100% of the normal level [ii]. Interestingly enough, in the Jewish faith families wait until the eighth day to perform circumcision per Biblical instructions!

It is also important to know that the level of Vitamin K in the injection routinely given to newborns contains 20,000 times the newborn's normal level of the vitamin at birth and colostrum (mother's first milk) is rich in the vitamin [i]. Therefore, the mother who breastfeeds as soon as possible and continuously over the first few days of her baby's life, will most certainly supply her baby with adequate levels of this crucial vitamin. High levels of vitamin K are also a cause of jaundice. Since vitamin K is processed through the gut, and the injection is given into the muscle, the newborn's body has difficulty absorbing and processing it properly [i].

If you are having a girl, do not plan to circumcise your baby boy, or feel that this is an unnecessary intervention, include your preference in your birth plan. If you do not have any reservations about your baby receiving Vitamin K, but are hesitant about the pain of the shot itself, ask your healthcare provider, birth location or pediatrician about the oral option of this medication.

What are Your Choices?

You may decline the Vitamin K injection, regardless of baby’s sex or availability of oral option.
You may accept the Vitamin K injection as is routinely given
You may request only the oral option for Vitamin K be administered to your newborn.

References:

[i] "Newborn Vitamin K Injections," Giving Birth Naturally
[ii] "The Dark Side of the Routine Newborn Vitamin K Shot," Natural Health Information Articles and Health Newsletter by Dr. Joseph Mercola

{my moment}

2013-02-22T11:27:00.001-06:00

A moment captured from the week that captured my heart.

A Friday ritual inspired by Soulemama.

My littles' school hosted a literacy night last night where they had the opportunity to meet an author and get books signed. We arrived and the boys ran ahead to get seats. When I caught up to them and found a spot to sit, I realized Aidan had found a spot next to Grace, a sweet little girl I've been hearing about through conversations in the car since the beginning of school. You'll just have to catch yourself up so you can understand how precious this is.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your moment in your comment.

Happy Weekend, Lovies!

haiku wednesday

2013-02-06T07:28:00.000-06:00

a lesson i learned

long ago, comes to me

live with open hands

Mama Monday - Episiotomies

2013-02-04T09:00:00.000-06:00

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I've said it before, and I'll say it again: you have choices in childbirth. The first step in knowing your choices and making them known to your care provider is being educated. I am passionate about women knowing their choices in childbirth, which is why I write about them on my blog and why I have developed a detailed Birth Plan Manual for my clients to assist and empower them in the process.

One of the most feared interventions in childbirth is the episiotomy, and it is one reason many women consider elective cesarean births. Who wouldn't want to avoid an aggressive and painful procedure performed on one of the most vulnerable and sensitive body parts? But what so many women don't know is that this procedure is completely avoidable, unlike many of the harsh consequences guaranteed to accompany a surgical birth.

What Is an Episiotomy?

Episiotomies are cuts made to the perineum (the small, sensitive area of tissue located between the wall of the vagina and the opening of the anus) by the obstetrician, family doctor or midwife during the second stage of labor. The purpose is to widen the vaginal opening to make room for the crowning baby. Especially in first time labors, the vaginal and perineal tissue is very tight since it has never been stretched to this extent. It can sometimes take a long time, possibly hours, for this tissue to stretch enough to make way for the baby to emerge into the world.

What You Need To Know:

Some practitioners consider this a routine intervention, performing episiotomies on all birthing women, whether they believe it is always necessary, or because it speeds up the birth process. Your caregiver may feel an episiotomy is necessary if the baby is already in the birth canal, crowning, and in distress of some kind. Your caregiver may perform an episiotomy to birth your baby quickly and save his life. However, many skilled and knowledgeable midwifes will tell you they have never seen a need for an episiotomy.

If you are already tearing, or beginning to tear toward your urethra and clitoris, instead of toward your perineum and anus, your caregiver may perform an episiotomy to prevent such a tear. Tearing in the direction of your urethra and clitoris is extremely painful to recover from, and can cause serious complications far into the future.

Episiotomies are generally considered more painful to recover from and take longer to heal than a natural tear would. If you would prefer a small, natural tear to an episiotomy, it is important you make this clear to your caregiver.

How to Avoid an Unnecessary Episiotomy:

Tears and episiotomies can both be prevented with prenatal exercises such as Kegel exercises and perineal massage. During birth, warm compresses and more perineal stretching performed by your caregiver can also help prevent episiotomies and lessen the possibility or severity of tears. Often, a simple change in pushing position for the second stage of labor can avoid what some practitioners may feel is a necessary episiotomy.

One of the greatest choices you can make to avoid an episiotomy is avoiding epidural analgesia. Since pain relief in the form of an epidural partially and sometimes completely numbs everything from the waist down, many women have a very hard time feeling the Ferguson Reflex (urge to push), and have difficulty pushing effectively. If you are able to work with your body and feel how to push correctly, as well as have the wherewithal to assume advantageous positions, your caregiver will feel less inclination to "help you out" with that unhappy little snip!

In short, there is no good evidence to support routine episiotomy on every woman, regardless of medical indication. When constructing your birth plan, be sure to include your preferences regarding routine episiotomies.

{my moment}

2013-02-01T13:27:00.000-06:00

A moment captured from the week that captured my heart.

A Friday ritual inspired by Soulemama.

I know I comment on it often, but I am still overwhelmingly blessed by the moments I catch when the kids are "blending" so well. It must be a constant fear of a divorced and remarried parent: the worry that "yours" and "mine" will hate each other and we'll never truly be a cohesive family. Don't even get me going on my fears of being an evil stepmom!

Corrinne and Aidan teamed up quite some time ago. They are the ones asking for sibling "sleepovers" in each other's rooms, asking for tape and supplies for their latest craft project, and organizing the neighborhood kids in some new invention of a game. A couple of weeks ago, they discovered a pile of boxes waiting for recycling and dismantled them to build a lemonade stand. I. Love. It. This week, they discovered the piles of unread newspapers on my driveway (yeah, I'm that house) and decided to make kites out of the bags. This is the pictured of them testing their kites. It only lasted a moment because they decided they didn't work very well. They weren't discouraged though, and nonchalantly tossed them into the trash and bebopped onto their next adventure!

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your moment in your comment.

Happy Weekend, Lovies!

Mama Monday - Delayed Cord Clamping

2013-01-28T18:22:00.000-06:00

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What Is Cord Clamping?

In order to cut the umbilical cord, the doctor or midwife must first clamp the cord with a small piece of plastic, similar to a hair barrette, to stop the flow of blood and stretch the tissue making it easier to cut. Many hospitals and caregivers have adopted the routine practice of immediately clamping the cord (within one minute) once the baby is born. Research shows that delayed cord clamping (2-3 minutes, or until the cord stops pulsating) has multiple benefits for the baby including reducing jaundice and anemia.

There are also benefits to the mother, which include keeping the mother baby unit intact, and not interfering with the placental delivery. Severe blood loss and other complications can occur if physiological placental delivery is interrupted. It is important to ask your caregiver what his or her routine procedures are, as well as the evidence and reasoning behind them.

Why Delay Cord Clamping?

There is an interesting phenomenon that happens where blood pulsates between the placenta and your baby for several moments after the baby is born. This is called placental transfusion. What is happening is your baby’s blood volume is being regulated. While inside your uterus, your baby’s blood volume, blood flow, heartbeat, oxygen level, nutrient intake and so much more was regulated by your internal systems, via the placenta. Once outside your body, your baby has a transition time where her body learns to regulate its systems on its own. During this time, your baby's lungs are excreting the fluid that was in them and learning to breathe air. It's important that your baby have adequate red blood cells, stem cells and immune cells to transition from life inside the womb to life on the outside.

Almost half your baby’s entire blood volume is in the cord at the moment of birth, and if the cord is clamped and cut too soon, your baby’s body will have to work that much harder to replenish the proper amount of red blood cells, oxygen and nutrients. Once the cord has stopped pulsating, we know this process, called placental transfusion is complete and the cord can be safely cut. If the cord is cut too soon, the baby may receive poor APGAR scores or have more jaundice than usual.

What Should You Do?

First, you should learn for yourself the evidence and benefits of delayed cord clamping. Books like The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth and Your Best Birth are great places to start.

More information about the practice of delayed cord clamping can be found at the following websites:

Also, check out this great video that explains it all with an excellent visual!

Secondly, it's imperative that you talk to your healthcare provider and find out what her routine practices are regarding cord clamping. The best way to do this is to write a birth plan and use it as a communication tool for you and your doctor or midwife.

I have written a detailed Birth Plan Manual that can help you with this process. Please contact me for more information about my products and services. Be informed and empowered about your choices!

{my moment}

2013-01-25T13:06:00.000-06:00

A moment captured from the week that captured my heart.

A Friday ritual inspired by Soulemama.

It's one of those precious, sweet mile markers of childhood. Riding a bike. My almost six year old has tried on many occasions, with much help and cheering from myself and my husband, even the other kids. So we let it rest for a while, and got him a scooter to ride along with his bike with training wheels. Then, he approached me after a long while and asked for help to try again.

So, we went outside to try again. On his first take-off, the moment after I let go (when he normally would have wobbled slightly and immediately put a foot down), he just kept going. It was like magic to watch. He kept going, and going, and curved down the next driveway and into the street so he could see my face. It melted me to see the excitement on his face and hear him as he shouted, "I'm doing it! I'm riding my bike! With no training wheels! I can really do it and it's not hard! I'm so excited I want to tell everyone; I want to call everyone: Dad, Marc, Uncle Jesse, Aunt Jeannie, Mimi, anyone. Anyone who will answer I want to tell them I can ride my bike!!"

It is truly these {moments} that make it all, every slogging bit of it, worth it.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your moment in your comments.

Happy Weekend, Lovies!

haiku wednesday

2013-01-23T11:44:00.002-06:00

seems I'm just treading

water. one day at a time.

take it as it comes.

{my moment}

2013-01-18T12:32:00.000-06:00

A moment captured from the week that captured my heart.

A Friday ritual inspired by Soulemama.

Happily roped in to a paper hat making project, by special invitation from Miss Corrinne.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your moment in your comment!

Happy Weekend, Lovies!

haiku wednesday

2013-01-16T19:39:00.000-06:00

i find motherhood

is owning weakness and grace

not being perfect

Mama Monday - The "Hey Mommies"

2013-01-14T21:43:00.002-06:00

How many of you have seen this clip?

If you haven't, it's worth a chuckle to click play. If you're a mommy too, it's a little gratifying to know you're not the only one to feel exhausted with what I call the "Hey Mommies."

In any given day I am inundated with any one of the following hey mommies 16 thousand times:

"Hey Mommy, did you know who Anakin becomes? Darth Vader. Did you know that?"

"Hey Mommy, are we doing anything fun today?"

"Hey Mom, these shoes make me run fast, wanna see?"

"Hey Mommy, knock knock...[insert punchline that makes absolute zero sense]"

"Hey Mom, can we eat lunch at school today?"

"Hey Mommy, did you know sponges are almost indestructible?"

"Hey Mom, can we have dessert tonight?"

"Hey Momma, when are we going to the library again, because you said, remember when you said we were going to go to the library and get to play on the computers there because you don't like us to play on the computer at home because you say we're going to break it so you always make us play on the computers at the library, and remember YOU SAID, and you PROMISED we could go today?"

"Hey Missy, can you ask Aunt Jeannie if cousin Jack can spend the night tonight?"

"Hey Missy, did you ask her? Can he? Well, can he tomorrow night? How about next weekend?"

"Hey Missy, did you know [insert some random string of facts about Pokemon games that I did not know and still will never know because it is...Pokemon]?"

"Hey Missy, look at this icicle I found."

"Hey Missy, look at this other icicle I found."

"Hey Missy, look, this one's bigger!!"

And the list goes on and on and on (and on and on). Then, when you share parenting with another parent, you get the inevitable "Hey Dad...I mean...Hey Mommy..." for a couple of days when they get back to your house.

And it's exhausting. A friend and I were talking the other day about how sometimes we just want to not have to answer. Do you ever just want to say, "Mommy needs some quiet time to be quiet, while you're Quiet and let her be QUIET."

I'll be the first to admit that I've said (on more than one occasion), "I need you to stop talking to me, please."

But after that conversation with my friend, I got to thinking about something very sweet about my husband that in turn caused me to really appreciate the "Hey Mommies."

At the end of each day when my husband comes home from work, he sets in to tell me about all of his challenges, successes, and funny stories of the day. Sometimes I even feel tired as he talks to me while I fix dinner, but I am energized knowing that he WANTS to share his day with me. Isn't that all most of us want from our husbands? Don't we long for them to come home at the end of the day and talk to us about theirs, and ask us about ours? I am so fortunate to be my husband's friend, the one person he wants to share his stories with each day. And I cherish listening to them.

It occurred to me that we are that person to our kids too. Yes, sometimes they're just talking to whomever will listen, but I genuinely think for the most part we are the intended audience for their thoughts, concerns, questions, show and tells, and tears. They want us to see their cool trick on their scooters, and watch all 25 times they try to recreate it because, "Oh, I messed up...hang on. Just watch one more time!"

We, as mommies and daddies, are the very people our children look to for praise, reassurance, critique, teaching, boundaries, companionship and so much more.

As I remember that I've set a goal for myself to have more grace with my children, I will make a choice to patiently answer and listen, at least a little more, to the "Hey Mommies."

Otherwise there may come a day when I don't hear them any more. And that sure would be some tragic quiet.

{my moment}

2013-01-11T07:17:00.000-06:00

A moment captured from the week that captured my heart.

A Friday ritual inspired by Soulemama.

While cutting up pieces of cardboard to build a lemonade stand, Aidan seemed to be taking a stand for something else. Isn't it amazing how the sweet voices of children can guide us? If only we would listen.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your moment in your comments.

Happy Weekend, Lovies!