Hoopty Rides

Hooptyrides has moved! Or at least the action has!

2014-01-16T15:36:00.000-08:00

Looking for Hooptyrides happiness? Well, I don't blog here anymore! I blog over there! At Coco's Variety, the real life store in Los Angeles and the online home for Mister Jalopy projects and efforts.

The Coco's site is here.

Fleet department information is here.

And the blog lives here.

Alfa Romeo Nightmare Project

2013-01-25T17:19:00.000-08:00

My automobile tastes have always been modest. Or, rather, my automobile budget has always been modest. Duesenbergs, Pierce Arrows and Bugattis are more interesting than Ford Mavericks, but of the many restrictions on our ambition, pocketbook often rules.

Lately, I have been drawn to stuff like this. Total nightmare project. Deserves the rotisserie resto, but what would be the bare minimum to be able to drive on the street? Drive train is present, but probably seized. Can you imagine the electrolysis that is happening? Makes a stuck seat post in a ten speed seen like an afternoon snack. Dip the entire block in a Kroil tank for a month.

Such a romantic notion. Geo Metro headlight shells suspended by coat hangers. A white plastic lawn chair from CVS as a drivers seat mounted with L-brackets with drywall screws to the chair and self-tapping sheet metal screws to the swiss cheesed floor boards. Maybe there are no floor boards. Maybe the new floor boards are constructed of pallet wood. Maybe the entire interior is pallet wood. Forget the white plastic chair - build a couple of pallet Adirondack chairs. New grill made of popsicle sticks. Windshield is not a problem. Just wear goggles.

How did this thing end up like this? Mom's new boyfriend was going to restore it and stripped bright work off to prepare for paint? Or a romantic engineer whose ambition out shone their skill and it turned out they were better at taking parts off rather than putting them back on and gave up on the project to spend the rest of their life neglecting their parrot?

Case could be that I already have a car like this, the Stude. Better get to work, better feed the parrot.

Alfa on craigslist

Alfa Romeo - Street Racer Starter Kit

2012-12-17T08:36:00.001-08:00

I like the color, week-old smashed yam.

Though period, I am not into the wheels. Fake Panasports, lowered, remove bumpers, bullet side mirrors, sheet metal Krylon pop rivet spoiler, old racing seats, rear seat removed, cage wrapped with hot water pipe insulation and 3M professional electrical tape, out of date 5 point harnesses, mismatched era Stewart Warner and Lucas gauges, JC Whitney wink mirror, windshield wipers removed, resist putting Alfa stickers on rear quarter windows, parked on the shoulder of the hairpin on Mulholland...

Will be even better when the rusty trunk lid is replaced with included - sure to be wrong color - replacement. I dig.

On eBay, no affiliation.

Respect the Corona

2012-12-10T18:51:00.001-08:00

This dude is a mobile mechanic that plys his trade in front of the Autozone on Figueroa. Respect.

Van Nuys Boulevard, Part II

2012-11-14T14:31:00.002-08:00

Sweet fancy Moses.

Found at Wild Bunch car club

1931 Ford Montana Mail Carrier

2012-11-12T08:26:00.001-08:00

At Bring a Trailer

Compelling VW Bus Advertisement

2012-11-07T15:57:00.001-08:00

Rolls Royce Rally Car - 1981 Paris Dakar DNF

2012-11-07T07:25:00.000-08:00

Christian Dior sponsored Rolls Royce Rally Car for sale, tipped by thingsmagazine

David Jordan Williams - Van Nuys Boulevard Cruising, 1974

2012-11-06T10:45:00.003-08:00

Details and situation remains fuzzy, but I remember riding with a friend of my dad's in his mild custom van on a dirt road. He was driving shirtless, Coors in hand and eating a pickled pig's foot. Though Southern California, I can't place the scene. Maybe around Sespe or something like that? It was some sort of party, to be sure, as we kept coming to creek crossings which attracted the flip-flopped and bikini-topped. Listening to Fleetwood Mac.

As unbelievable as it sounds, my mom and step-dad would take me cruising on Van Nuys Blvd. A few passes and a burger at Bob's Big Boy.

When I was a kid, I thought this is what it would be like to be an adult. Of the losses, I would say nothing greater than the end of rabbit fur jacket.

David Jordan Williams portfolio of Van Nuys Blvd, 1974

Approved!

2012-11-02T11:12:00.001-07:00

From Coop, source unknown

Ferrari for the Ambitious, Unemployed and Unemployable

2012-10-31T14:03:00.001-07:00

What a bizarre scene. Click the photos, they are large. Check out all that crap in the background. Forget the Ferrari, how much is that yellow shopping bag?

I was thinking at lunch, that I am too old to become a professional athlete. Also, I don't have the natural ability, killer instinct or competitive zeal. But, I thought, perhaps falconry. If I dedicated myself to it every day as if it was my job, perhaps I could compete at an international level. Not sure if falconry even exists anymore.

The Ferrari is sorta the same thing. With a Harbor Freight mill and unlimited time, could a dedicated amateur get this Ferrari back on the road? Needs brakes? Mill new wheel cylinders from scratch! That's what Bugatti would do. Get the shoes re-lined at Valley Friction, that is easy. Bend your own hard lines and use a handful of brass adapters to hook up Astro van soft hoses. No problem! Stitch the soft parts on your sewing machine and if it is missing the glove box door, just whittle a new one from wood! Don't know how to whittle? Of course not! But this is your new job, remember. You will learn.

More time than money. I don't know that one lifetime is enough for the falconry and the Ferrari, but it sure would be a hell of a combination.

Ferrari, at auction, no affiliation

1962 Triumph TR3 Testing Hoopty Resolve

2012-10-25T14:08:00.001-07:00

I swore, never again. Never would I take on a project that needed everything. Problem is, after weeks of work and a laundry basket of cash, these abandoned cars are still pretty miserable to drive and they can't stay in their own lane. Unsexy stuff, like wheel cylinders, gas tanks and exhaust systems gobble cash.

As a side note, props to Beverly Hills Car Club. They are not afraid of selling crazy projects and don't try to extract top dollar for barn find cars. I really appreciate the sale prep, photography quality and that issues aren't hidden under a coat of Krylon. Fantasy Junction for the spendthrift with more optimism and ambition than money and common sense. Check the bungie cord that is no longer holding down the battery. Or, more correctly, I should say, check out the bungie that was never holding down the battery, but was being used in that capacity in a decorative, if not functional, sense.

1963 Triumph TR3, no affiliation

$7,000 Bentley; Alternate Title - Good Thing There is Not a Buy-It-Now Button and I am Sober

2012-10-24T17:02:00.002-07:00

1988 Bentley Mulsanne

Alfa Romeo Trash Car

2012-10-23T08:12:00.000-07:00

Possibly a cool car, but they couldn't empty the trash out of it before taking pictures?

On craigslist

Nail Storage

2012-10-20T12:48:00.000-07:00

Spied at a garage sale today. Note representative nail mounted as a contents identifier.

Everybody Hates Trikes, Unless the Single is in Back

2012-10-20T06:50:00.001-07:00

via Pedalmafia

Thomas Baryle Wallpaper at Frieze

2012-10-18T17:44:00.001-07:00

At we-make-money-not-art

Esso Sticker - Approved

2012-10-16T19:40:00.002-07:00

An Esso sticker on the front fender makes anything look racy. Consider a Toyota Starlet. Add an Esso sticker. Better, right?

Also, related, see Agip and Elf.

Seen at Cork Grips Tumblr

Every Pickup Needs Perimeter Tie downs

2012-10-15T06:39:00.001-07:00

Bring a trailer featured an amazing, original condition Datsun pick-up truck and bidding has already reached a lofty $10k with 15 hours to go.

At some point, aesthetics dictated that tie downs around the perimeter of the bed were too ugly for the consumer market. What a shame. Tarping a load without them is a total pain in the neck. It seems every full size, alley trolling metal collector or gardening truck has had coat hooks screwed in the side to compensate. Always crooked, surface metal always dimpled where they are pulling out.

I wonder if there is commercial bed rail that integrates simple hooks - not an 'integrated, patented loading system.'

Abercrombie and Fitch Corduroy Safari

2012-10-14T07:34:00.002-07:00

For those that know my epic want list, I have been trying to buy one of these jackets for ten years.

The fourth jacket that I have encountered has slipped through my fingers. I detail my chase at my other blog, Dinosaurs and Robots.

How to turn $7,200 into $17,200 or $27,200

2012-10-10T09:50:00.001-07:00

The rear spoiler is particularly appealing, in a very crude and racy sort of way. Ad says that the carb and dash cluster were damaged in an accident, which strikes me as an odd damage to sustain.

Half-freshened, a single Cibie on the front, new livery, out of spec harness, race gas, spent autocross tires and attack Mulholland at 5AM. A challenge... how cheaply can you get it running and stopping. Do you include bail in the estimate, only the final tally or chalk that up to life experience?

On craigslist, no affiliation.

Something like this, but think Krylon and that self-stick aluminum from Home Depot. DieHard sticker is a must.

Now, I have one of these.

2012-10-02T19:23:00.001-07:00

Cable TV Security Shield and Filter Removing Tool CATV

Not being able to split and extend your cable is ridiculous.

In other news, my 2000 Chevy Silverado truck failed smog today. Evap failure. There is a whole closed vacuum system to recirculate gas fumes from the tank just like PCV works for oily engine air. The whole system is quick release connectors, hard and soft lines. You unsnap the connector, look inside at the nitrile o-ring, poke it, wonder if it is still supple enough, shrug and snap it back together.

All that snapping is pronto fast for assembly of automobiles, but it sure makes for difficult troubleshooting and expensive replacement parts. A few years ago, when Maytag was still a stateside company, I read their annual report and they spent a lot of time crowing about their huge parts margins and their de facto lock on the parts market for their equipment. Somewhat excusable as they made quality parts, but now that it has been bought by a Chinese manufacturer, the parts quality has gone down the toilet.

This isn't a "they are stealing our jobs, everything from China sucks" rant. It is a very specific problem. I like lots of stuff that is made in China. Hard to imagine my iPhone being any better than it is and lots of bike parts are amazingly nice.

There is a fluid filled brake mechanism for Maytag commercial top loaders. It goes bad every few years. For the past year, every brake comes out of the box leaking or starts leaking within 1 month. It is amazing. It is like getting a pancake in a Japanese hotel - it looks like a pancake, but it tastes nothing like a pancake.

Chevy fixed. Bad gas cap! Ain't that the pickles. After disconnecting every quick disconnect and blowing in here and there, I decided the cap would certainly be the cheapest point of failure. Smog passed.

Boogie Opel GT Van

2012-09-28T07:59:00.002-07:00

Pretty much my dream stable in 1978.

Via Matthew Bowne's Flickr

Treasure

2012-09-14T17:29:00.000-07:00

For some inexplicable reason, I thought it would be easier to replace the door weatherstripping if I removed the interior door panel. Don't ask. I don't want to talk about it.

Found this little morsel inside, which succinctly answers why the door won't stay open on it's own. One day I am going to remove a door panel and pull out a Beretta 9mm. How many pine needles until then? Maybe I should leave a Beretta in there. Would certainly improve my chances of finding one. A ziploc full of cosmoline with a handgun floating like a Hirst.

At least the turbot is in focus.

Re-Wiring the Big Beam

2012-09-14T17:23:00.001-07:00

Crimp, solderless connectors have a well deserved bad reputation. Whenever I lift a hood and see a yellow crimp on a piece of 18 gauge stranded, I think, better get home before dark!

I am an advocate of solderless connectors BUT you have have a set of Vacos. Smashing the plastic is not enough, you need to leave a deep dimple.