Hope for Narcissism

Building ~ A New Season

2025-09-25T09:10:00.000-07:00

Thank you for stopping here at Exuberant for Life! I’m so glad you are here.

I started EFL in 2016 to focus on sharing blogs, podcasts, digital graphics (art) and more, all with the hope of sharing video content eventually. As child-rearing and health issues took center stage, I wrote and spoke what I could while focusing on my 1st priorities. Many years have passed, and as these blogs are bursting with content I am now ready to transition into sharing via different methods. These blogs will remain for now as an archive of sorts, and occasionally as I find unpublished content I may add here for future reference. My goal is to expand to write books on various topics, while building a subscription base at Substack, and develop a robust Youtube channel.

Please feel free to dig around here and on the connected blog sites, take whatever is helpful and share anything you want to. If you’re able to leave a tip, that would be fantastic. You can also become a Patron to contribute financially to our digital content. We also have online shopping available with items created by our artistic family members. Check out links below to give into my work.

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My Latest Venture

2025-09-25T06:58:00.000-07:00

During the decades of rearing our young children and tending to our big family, my energies for writing were minimal. Now that the youngest are nearing young adulthood and almost 13, I have a lot more time to get into the depths of perspectives I so enjoy through the mode of written words. In order to bless my family too, I decided to leave all blog content here for free, while allowing readers to subscribe for $7 a month to my written articles over at Substack.

We have searched for ways to experience win/win/win options. This new way forward gives:

1) Me the pleasure (when I have extra time and bandwidth from tending to family and home) of being able to write to my hearts content and share what bubbles with my dear readers.

2) Readers get to follow along the written journey as I share from heart, soul and mind.

3) My family gets the benefit of financial provision by way of your subscription.

I really like win/win/win scenarios and am thrilled to finally be putting it all together.

Note: as of today I am laying all the foundations and digital connections required for Substack, as well as getting the YouTube channel ready where we will begin releasing content any day.

There is a back log of material waiting to be edited and uploaded, and it finally seems like things are in order, the time is right and Spirit says NOW.

Thank you for following along for free this long. PLEASE wander around here in blogger as much as you'd like, here and at my other blogs: The Missing Generation, Rearing Trauma, and at the main site at Exuberant for Life.

To get more into the depths with me via my writing, which is my passion, please consider subscribing below today. I offer a free week trial in case you would like that.

As always, I bless you to seek the Holy Spirit for His leadership, direction, comfort, correction, peace, attunement, and joy for your life.

You are adored

(no matter what).

~Kate Mazur

From the Castle (our 700 square foot home on a hilly, sand duned-forrest)

Midwest USA

in honor of the life of Charlie Kirk

& SLG finishing its current season

Distinguishing Between Soul and Spirit Shame and getting help for both

2022-06-07T12:40:00.003-07:00

This is a repost from another blog of mine where I discuss the other right brained emotions. You can find the original here.

There is a difference between spiritual shame and soul-level shame.

According to Dr Wilder, "narcissism" is the inability to process the right brained emotion of shame.

I dedicate an entire blog to sharing what I learn about principles relating to healthy, God-given, necessary SOUL shame, as well as what happens when that soul skill is lacking. You can find that here.

To find help for the spiritual kind, I recommend several things:

This cd, which we used toward the beginning of our journey. It is powerful and effectively goes over areas where spiritual roots may have begun. It does not cover soul shame issues.

Nurturing our inner man is something discussed much in the scriptures. If you're interested in the science behind it, I highly recommend Nurturing Spirit Basic Seminar. I received the dvd's as a gift from the author and I find I return again and again to the principles taught within. If you like theory, you might want to start there.

If you prefer the practical, I recommend blessing and nurturing your inner man (spirit). It's always awake, always listening and waits to be instructed on the truths of life and godliness. Perhaps it's already loaded with seeds and awaits watering and growth by hearing the Word of God! I started by listening to these on audio (along with the audio bible) at very low volume 24/7 for many months/years and still do whenever our technology cooperates. I still listen on one iPod at night, have a seperate one for the Tall Guy and then have a completely different one for the household that plays 24/7.

Here are some free audio files which are a blessing to us:

Names of God

Spirit blessings for Sons (used for our male family members)

Blessing Spirit (general) - we used this when it was playing for all family members

Spirit Blessing for Precious Daughters

For those who prefer the book version, you can find it the Kindle version here and the book at the author's website here.

There you can also find articles, videos and many other materials to support your journey to do what Father has instructed: love Him with all our HEART (then soul, mind and strength). I am convinced the sequence is significant and intentional. It really makes a difference when our spirit man KNOWS the truths about it's Maker, Creator, Designer, Father, etc.

After you've nurtured your inner man/spirit, there are materials to develop it. You'll find many here.

3 Part Video

2022-06-07T08:25:00.008-07:00

Unencumbered Life Coach - Michelle and I meet to talk about what we learned about Narcissism.

You can find materials we mention listed here

Part 1 - 15 minutes

Part 2 - 17 minutes

Part 3 - 13 minutes

Update

2022-06-07T08:05:00.006-07:00

As of this writing, I am well into the healing journey resulting from having been reared by someone who has recently been diagnosed with Cluster B personality disorder, among other mental illnesses.

Due to a major health set back, I have been unable to update much here, or get into the 3rd audio series which I hope to record.

As I continue to study, looking for God's principles and for a way forward, I am learning more and more all the time. One major thing we understand now is that we can seem to have traits of NPD if we were reared in a family system that worked to hide their shame. New skills can be learned (ask us how we know!!) and hope is there for those who were reared to be commodities rather than individuals.

The ebook with a working title, Hope for Narcissism, is somewhere in my heaps of papers. As I get strength and energy, I hope to get that self-published soon.

I am also nearly ready to offer life coaching again and continue to offer sessions for those with specific AHS issues.

We know many are facing the uncomfortable realties of relating to people who have narcissistic traits. Hope to share more here SOON!

Thanks for stopping by. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions. :)

Shalom!

With love and respect,

Kate

Beginning to See Into the Fog of Pain

2019-12-25T14:13:00.000-08:00

If you've followed my other blogs you might know I've spent 14 years TRYING to get to the point where I can be honest about something terrible.

As a lover of God, it's been a horrible fight to wrestle with the reality of a certain problem and it's impact on my life, my innards, my beliefs and so much more.

As I've sought the LORD for answers and also looked the world over, narcissism is something that I have had to face. It's something which is NOT pleasant and the ramifications of being intimately related to someone who suffers from it is...well, like living hell on earth.

My own emotional immaturity has been the cause of much of my silence, and while I had the vision to share here (and elsewhere), I could not get to my OWN pain in order to process and heal it. It's as though I was frozen from being able to get to the junk.

To be very clear, I have sought wise counsel in order to know what to do. The first place? The scriptures.

When a parent, especially a mother, has a personality disorder like narcissism, it can be brutal to understand how to walk that out. The old and new testaments are full of clear instruction on how to handle parents AND how to deal with stiff-necked, foolish sorts.

The colossal battle is what on earth to do when a parent is BOTH of those things!!!??

Oh my.

Know that honoring my mom has been number 1 on my heart and has driven my actions for much of my 46 years.

The second place I've looked is the Body of Christ and the third has been any one I felt nudged to read/listen to who has info on narcissistic personality disorder. Finding principles to help victims of parental abuse (especially from a mother) has been nearly impossible...UNTIL NOW.

I'm so grateful for and to my husband who has been digging into all this stuff and sharing tidbits and resources as he goes.

In subsequent posts I'll share details of WHAT he has shared with me recently, why he shared it and where he got the information.

Stay tuned. Feel free to subscribe if you want to get notified when I post again.

~Kate M
Christmas evening
Michigan

The Narcissists Family Cult

2018-12-09T06:44:00.003-08:00

I appreciate this honest look into the structures set up within narcissistic families.

Click below to watch the 30 minute video.

Healthy Shame Messages

2018-11-21T04:53:00.002-08:00

Here's a wonderful message about dealing with shame so we correct behavior in healthy ways so narcissism doesn't flourish. It's less than 10 minutes. I've thought of it often in the year since I first saw it. We need to build those pathways!!!!! Having it modeled is so helpful!

Edited on 12/25/19

2017-12-31T16:46:00.004-08:00

A new friend just shared this with me. I encourage you to take a look. It's titled:

The Invisible War Zone: 5 Ways Children Of Narcissistic Parents Self-Destruct In Adulthood

What's a Wife To Do?

2017-12-10T07:48:00.002-08:00

I just asked my Mercy husband about what so many of you wives are dealing with.

If you're in a relationship with a narcissistic person, likely you have seen the beauty within them. I saw the beauty within my husband....and I kept going to the God who put the beauty there in the first place to give me grace and strategy and help to hold on when things were SO very bleak.

The bleakness comes when that inner beauty is blocked. What blocks it? According to one man God led me to, it's the inability to handle shame in a healthy way.

Narcissists get that way because they were shamed and punished for their flaws. They did NOT receive the much needed gentleness and grace and instead learned all sorts of inner shoving mechanisms to push away anything that makes them bump up against that shame.

Because I was fascinated by these processes and knew God had been the one who put me together with my husband, I kept continually looking to Him for help, the way and answers. Often times, for years, it was dark and hard and awful...as that beauty within my Mercy Man was nearly held hostage by something bitter, angry, violent (emotionally?) and immature.

Narcissists lack basic skills that the rest of you learned. If they feel shame because they lack those skills, they will keep pushing away whomever points out the shame.

If it's a wife...then...

Well, my hubby says if they are not willing to look at themselves, there is nothing a wife can do.

You might need to hear that.

Why was my husband willing to look at it? I'm not sure.

In part it might be because being reared in a narcissistic family system doesn't necessarily mean we all end up with personality disorder (at least I hope not).

It has always been in my heart to be a Man Whisperer, and for as much as I fail I have supported and believed in him as he searched the world for answers.

As I get grace to write, I'll share more.

A Video Introduction

2017-12-05T11:55:00.003-08:00

Here is a 47 minute video where Life Coach Mic and I chat as I share my process of learning about narcissism. Dignity is needed all the way around and we're happy to share.

This video includes three parts. To see all three please let it play. I'm sorry for any confusion! I am still learning how to work on creating separate clips!

For resources mentioned, go to here.

Want so see more? Please subscribe to my EFL channel and "like" this video!

What I Am Not

2017-10-03T10:09:00.000-07:00

I am not a counselor or therapist. I am a person with a vision...to see people FREE to be themselves and to let the awesomeness inside be expressed in life giving ways. I long to see those stuck in narcissistic patterns be free to love and trust and receive. Is it possible? I can see the way! It's not always clear and is sometimes quite mirky and tricky...but I believe it's there. Being led by the One Who Indwells is a very nice way to make one's way through it all....(though easy it is not!).

I love tackling impossible things because I know they're all possible for the One I love and serve.

Over the years as I have developed my own understanding looking for answers to what narcissism is, how it comes about and spreads and what to DO about it. Seeking practical and real answers rooted in Truth, I stumbled upon some intriguing, often upsetting and very useful information by experts who are not necessarily widely known to those who are schooled in traditional ideas of narcissism. I had the pleasure of compiling THEIR information, testing it out in layman situations in my own life and with others who were willing and found some principles which are working in those who have not been diagnosed with NPD.

According to one doctor, bible scholar and pastor, there aren't enough therapists in all the world to help the numerous masses who NEED help with this (and other such) issue/s. According to his statistics, 25% of the population has the skills necessary to be gentle with this sort of weakness (narcissism is a weakness - both from lack of skills as well as being groomed in a whole lot of something NO person should have to grow up dealing with!). He says in another generation those with the gentle skills will disappear.

My goal is to help connect those of us who were reared in narcissistic family cultures with those who have the skills needed in order to function well both inside and in relationship with others. It's a huge goal and I am working toward it in my own life and as I work with others. There's a lot of really damaging information floating around out there which, as I see it, makes things much worse not only for the person struggling with narcissism but also with those few brave souls who are in their inner circles. I want to shed light in dark places so that freedom can be had!!

Since it's my passion to receive Truth from the One Who Best knows the human psyche, the inner man & family backgrounds, I have spent several years learning about the problem, finding the world (and even the church) seemed to have no answers or real hope, cried out to HIM for mercy and help for our generation and then followed many nudges along the way as He led me from resource to resource. I have taken what I learned and applied it, with much pain along the way, and believe there IS a way forward in this area.

I leave you these materials in order to ponder for yourself if, like me, you're called to tackle this issue within your generation, family and culture.

I am convinced the God of Abraham is also willing to share His insight with others and am excited and grateful that He is leading you and will continue as you ROTC: rely on, obey, trust in and Cling to Him in the process. BLESSINGS to you as you follow Him!!!!

~Kate M.

What Is Needed?

2017-10-03T10:07:00.003-07:00

If people are reared without empathy, there are some really awful things they know to be normal. Sometimes these adored people (adored by God and yet not often by those closest to them) need help to understand a new normal.

When we try to keep them on the hook (hold them accountable for what they do and say) but we do it before we give them empathy, it doesn't work. Why? I have no idea. It has something to do with the brain.

Brain science has revealed SO much in the past decade! It's amazing to me all the things which are coming to the surface as understanding and AHA! moments occur. In my case, it happens within my head and heart and innards as I deal with myself and others and keep learning and listening and applying and trying.

What if people start sowing differently? What if we can help people begin to believe that there really are safe people out there? What if they really can develop pathways in their brain to feel right brained shame rather than building systems and relational structures to keep shame away?

I have pondered, wrestled and won. I am so eager to share with you...though if you have a clinical background you might be very put off by my stuff. Remember, I am putting this out there for the Do It Yourself crowd who will not darken the door of a therapist.

As my friend Arthur Burk says, "There has to be a better way!"

Disclaimer

2017-10-03T10:06:00.002-07:00

I'm a wife at home. I've been married 20 years. I am step mother to a special needs child who now has a child of her own. I brought six of my own children into the world and educate them at home. I come partially from a narcissistic family and am pretty sure I married into one.

I have no formal training. I come from a family with enormous history of dysfunction of many sorts. I have researched excellent materials from men and women in various fields both secular and sacred.

My studies have been led by The Psychologist (The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob) as I have sought Him first for wisdom, understanding, discernment & knowledge.

I am not an expert. I have taken the principles I learned from authors & men and women who have many letters after their names, pastors, etc in order to work out in my own life what appears to have been the list of symptoms commonly referred to as NPD.

I have never been diagnosed. My hubby hasn't either. However, with the belief that if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck that it's likely a duck, I read, listened and watched everything I got a nudge to put my hands on (as did he), poured over the info (some of it nauseating and very depressing) and plopped it all at God's feet.

"This is YOUR problem. It's not pretty. Where's the good news????"

And then He began to show me.

"Look here. Now see this bit? Put it over here with that bit."

It was as though He was leading me on an adventure to learn some things which so far I don't hear "out there."

I write and record and think all with the intention of sharing what has worked in my life, in my marriage and with our children.

Confessions

2017-10-02T15:39:00.002-07:00

I admit it. I'm swamped. With six children under foot 24/7 I am at a loss for time to write blog posts for you about narcissism!

Plus, I have a rough draft of an ebook with nearly 50 pages completed...but I am not able to get TO IT with so much going on in my world.

Did I mention I'm in charge of educating all six of the kiddos? AND we live in less than 800 square feet. I have NO space to hide way and write.

For the sake of caring for myself in order to be decent to them (and the hubby who makes all this possible) I need to keep my sanity. Writing takes ENORMOUS effort for me and I selfishly refuse to loose sleep in order to get that book written!!!

So, while I might have a gift to communicate via written word, I have very little time to utilize my gift-of-gab right now during this fantastically jammed full season of rearing my kids.

What I can share is a whole lot of podcasts of my journey as I learn principles of narcissism.

I also share a whole lot of materials I researched, dug through, cried over, talked with hubby and close friends about and eventually used to extract concepts and principles which helped ME make a difference not only in my own life but in my marriage and in our children's lives.

With eleven podcasts going I am only JUST beginning to tell the story; there's so much to tell.

As I go, each year I get better at recording and editing and handling all the oodles of behind-the-scenes stuff you won't ever know about which simply MUST happen in order to get audio and written materials published.

Thank you so much for taking time to check out this site.
Blessings to you on YOUR journey!
Kate M