Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men

The Weekly List - Why my Life is Awesome

2013-06-15T08:00:00.000-06:00

1. I'm not Theon Greyjoy.

2. I have friends that think my decision to "bedazzle" my MLB hat to designate ballparks where I've seen a game live does not make me white trash.

3. This week I was a good friend to someone I care about.

4. The Hot Chicks and Smart Men Dig Reading Summer Reading Program begins in just 7 days.

5. I have friends and family that "get" me. And they still love me.

6. I live in a world that contains soft carnitas tacos. With avocados.

7. This week I got to perform ACTUAL ENGINEERING WORK. For MONEY.

8. I was reminded that each of us has the power to affect the lives of others, for good or for ill.

9. I'm finally caught up on my podcasts.

10. Starting tomorrow, I get to wear Fluevogs every day for four days in a row.

An Open Letter to Sebastien de la Cruz

2013-06-14T08:00:00.000-06:00

Dear Sebastien,

When you sang the National Anthem for game three of the NBA Finals, I was appalled at the reaction of the on-line community. To hurl such degrading and insulting rhetoric at anyone is simply beyond the pale, and the fact that you're a child made it that much worse, in my opinion. I thought, "How awful that these racist dirtbags should sully such an exciting and special event for this youngster. I hope he doesn't assume that everyone feels that way about his presence at the game."

But I underestimated you, and your parents, too. You, young sir, are a class act. You returned to the Spurs' Arena, and performed beautifully once again, wearing the cultural garb of your forefathers. You did so with pride, and with a poise I would not expect from a much older person. You did not allow the racists to silence your voice, and reacted in a way that shamed those who wanted to shame you for your pride in your heritage.

Keep singing, Sebastien. Sing for yourself, and your parents, and your community, and for all of us who believe that a diverse America is a strong America.

Sing.

Grow, Janiece, Grow

2013-06-12T08:00:00.000-06:00

Count your blessings, you stabby bitch

I think the busier my life becomes, the more quickly I tend to go to a place where I'm not fully aware of just how fabulous my life is. When a plane is late, when I'm performing work and my colleagues do not meet my expectations, when I get poor customer service - these first world issues tend to overwhelm all the amazing and enviable aspects of my life and I get crankier and crankier.

This is not a recipe for living in joy.

For me, perspective is the key for this growth opportunity. Even if things aren't going as well as I hope, even if someone else's bad day is negatively impacting mine, that doesn't mean that ZOMG MY ENTIRE LIFE BLOWS. It means I'm in the middle of an unfortunate event, one that will almost certainly give me an opportunity to be a better person. I've been working on keeping this in my mind when things go wrong, and sometimes I even succeed.

Virtue unlocked: Perspective.

Shut up and listen

One of the things I've noticed about myself is that the more competent I feel in a specific situation, the smaller my tendency becomes to just shut the hell up and listen. I've noticed this specifically as it relates to my gig in the Military Industrial Complex - I'm learning many new technologies, and most of the folks on the calls and in the meetings I'm attending know more about what we're discussing than I do. Because I don't really consider my competence in this space to be equal to that of my peers, I tend to do a lot more listening rather than trying to put forth my own opinions and ideas.

This a good thing.

For one thing, it gives me a chance to learn about new technology from a variety of sources, whose understanding may differ from my own. For another, it helps me in my goal of understanding that I'm not the only competent person in the room. Actively listening to others gives me the chance to admire and respect them in their areas of expertise. And perhaps most importantly, it provides excellent practice in learning to value others, a Mr. Rogers-like virtue that has long been on my self-improvement list.

Virtue unlocked: Respect.

A slave to my ambition

I was having lunch with a friend the other day, and we were discussing how our professional ambitions have changed as we've gotten older. I'm no longer particularly interested in being THE VERY BEST SE ON THE PLANET, DON'T YOU THINK THAT I'M NOT. What I am interested in is being the very best SE I can be while still maintaining balance in my life, and providing good value for the compensation I receive. I can never do less than my best, but I no longer think my work needs to dominate and define my life.

I'm also more interested in my personal ambitions than in my professional ones, because working on the former will also provide benefits to the latter. My personal ambitions now include things like "Being a kind person," and "Living an authentic life," and "Being a good friend to those I care about." I think from the perspective of leaving this earth a better place than I found it, my personal ambitions are far more important than my professional ones.

Virtue unlocked: Balance.

Miscellaneous Monday

2013-06-10T08:00:00.000-06:00

The plants, they're trying to kill me

I love Spring. Since I'm not a huge fan of the snow and the cold, I'm always so pleased and happy when things start to warm up and I'm able to get outside.

Except for the itchy eyes, runny nose and sneezing, that is.

The plants here in Colorado have always been the enemy of my immune system. Over the years, I've lived and visited many other regions, in many other climates and geographies. But Colorado is the only place I've ever lived where I have hay fever, and Spring is when it's at its worst. SO ANNOYING.

In my mind I'm going to Carolina

Specifically, Charlotte. I'm leaving Friday for a conference, which means I get to have dinner with the erudite and always entertaining Eric while I'm there. Seeing people I wouldn't otherwise get a chance to see is one of the very best things about traveling for me, and I'm looking forward to it.

A poorer place

Today would have been Maurice Sendak's 85th birthday, and the Google Doodle commemorating this event is pretty great.

I always loved Mr. Sendak's books, and the world is a poorer place without him in it.

Miscellaneous Monday

2013-06-03T08:00:00.000-06:00

Writer's Block

Or more precisely, writer's apathy. Lately I have been singularly unmotivated to write original, scintillating content for HCDSM.

I suspect the reason is twofold - I only have so much non-professional energy to go around, and I've been focusing on other things rather than writing. Things like running, and baseball, and my Awesome, Awesome Niece, and home improvement projects, and reading.

The second reason is that I think spaces like this tend to ebb and flow in terms of content. Because I don't use this space for self-promotion, it can basically be whatever I want, whenever I want. So when I'm feeling unmotivated content can become a little thin and I won't incur serious repercussions. It's true that I may lose casual readers during these periods, but my regulars have been pretty loyal in terms of waiting me out when my content goes through periods of meh.

I don't know when the meh will abate - hopefully soon, as I'm starting to bore myself.

Run, Janiece, run

I've been slowly increasing my once-weekly "long" run (as compared to my twice-weekly 10K training runs), and yesterday, for the first time, I ran nine miles. I'm hoping to get to thirteen miles before the end of the year, but I am in my late 40's, so we'll see how the body holds up to those demands.

I'm really happy that I've finally reached a point where I see my body as the amazing machine that it is, and take pleasure in its performance, but damn I wish I'd come to this realization when I was still young and strong. Gravity is indeed a spiteful bitch, not to mention aging joints.

Pimpin', yo

While I'm not a huge fan of the short story, I would like to recommend a couple of short stories written by Hot Chick, occasional commenter and all-around good egg Rachael Acks. She's published two Steampunk stories entitled Murder on the Titania and The Ugly Tin Orrery through Musa Publishing and available on Amazon. Rachael has a most amusing turn of phrase that made me snort through my nose more than once while enjoying these stories, so you should totally run right out and buy multiple copies. You know you want to.

Free Shit Friday - I Got Nothing Edition

2013-05-31T08:00:00.000-06:00

I'm out of jam and shoes to give away, so for today's Free Shit Friday giveaway, I'm offering either my undying affection, or a made-by-me hat and scarf set in the colors of your choice. Yes, I realize it's almost June and you won't be able to use it until much later in the year. I told you - I GOT NOTHING.

The winner of the Pear Nutmeg Jam is Carol Elaine, with a random number of 8. CE, I'm not sure I have your new address, so please let me know where you want me to send the goods. Enjoy!

Things for Thursday

2013-05-30T08:00:00.000-06:00

The sound of silence

But only here at HCDSM. The Smart Man and I have been visiting our Awesome, Awesome Niece and her staff for the last number of days. And households that include a 2-year-old do NOT, in fact, have an abundance of silence. Which is as it should be.

Bug is doing just fine, and thinks both her Auntie and her Uncle are the Cat's Pyjamas, which makes our visits exercises in the Mutual Admiration Society. The part that tickled me most: I ran several times while there, and when the Smart Man told her I was running, she proceeded to run laps around the house, saying she was "running like Aunt Janiece!"

Baseball has been very, very good to me

Bug's a big fan of baseball, and knows the lineup of her home team. We managed to catch a game at the Nationals Stadium while on the East Coast, and I taught Bug to say "He's outta there!" along with the appropriate hand motion. Because that's the kind of Auntie I am.

The Nationals Stadium is the fourth MLB stadium we've visited in support of our plan to see a game in every MLB stadium. Next up is the Kansas City Royals, which we're planning for August. We wanted to go see the Giants this year, but some unexpected expenses are going to keep us closer to home, methinks.

On the road again

I'm getting back on the road in the month of June, so far to Columbus, OH, and Charlotte, NC. The first is a customer visit (yay!) and the second is a professional conference (meh). The conference IS taking place in the home city of the Incomparable Eric, proprietor of the excellent Standing on the Shoulders of Giant Midgets and fellow UCFer, which means I get to meet him and his lady love for a meal while I'm there. I'll take it!

Free Shit Friday - Pear Nutmeg Jam

2013-05-24T08:00:00.000-06:00

Today's Free Shit Friday offering is a pint of Pear Nutmeg jam. This is one of my Hot Mom's favorites.

da Rules.

The winner of the Blueberry Lemonade Jam is Laur, with a random number of 12. Laur, send your contact details and I'll get that in the mail when I get a chance.

Talking out your ass

2013-05-22T08:00:00.000-06:00

Credibility matters to me.

As a general rule, I'm much more inclined to take someone - and their opinions - seriously if I have respect for them in general, and respect for their knowledge on the specific subject at hand. And a key aspect of earning that respect is whether or not they're credible.

Examples:

If you've never raised kids successfully, or studied child development at a University level, your opinion about how best to raise a kid to a functioning, self-sufficient adult means next to nothing to me. Which is not to say that you shouldn't have an opinion about how kids should act in public and such - you should. But how to achieve that end result is not in your wheelhouse. This is why first time parenting SUCKS SO VERY MUCH.
If you've never been able to effectively set emotional boundaries for yourself in a way that has led to meaningful, mutually respectful intimate relationships, you should probably keep your opinions on those matters to yourself.
If you claim to have deep and up to date knowledge on the subject of (for example) health, nutrition and fitness, and yet you're not healthy, you don't eat well and you're unfit and/or obese, I'm not going to listen to you even if your knowledge really is deep and up to date. Because you haven't closed the gap between knowing what to do, and doing it. Execution matters, and you can't tell me how to execute if you've been unable to do so yourself.

All of these examples have one thing in common: People talking out of their asses.

Now I think it's fair to say that all of us talk out of our asses from time to time. It's part of the human condition, and the trick is to recognize when you're doing it so you can laugh apologetically and take the opportunity to shut the hell up. Who knows, the next topic of conversation may in fact be something on which you really are an expert - you just have to wait your turn. The folks that get under my skin are the ones suffering from a combination of the Dunning-Kruger effect and cognitive dissonance, as in, "I'm far more knowledgeable on this subject than my conversation mates (in spite of the fact that I have no education in this field), and they should listen to me (in spite of the fact that I've never been able to execute successfully on the topic under discussion)."

You know what scares the crap out of me? That I might be guilty of this sin, and no one's telling me.

Fortunately for me, though, I adhere to my celebrity boyfriend Neil deGrasse Tyson's advice: "If you’re generally good at BS’ing, it means you don’t hang around people who are smarter than you.” I hang around some really smart people, people who are much smarter than me, and well educated on a wide variety of subjects. And they have the added bonus of being intellectually honest enough to call me on my bullshit when I do wander too far afield.

I love that about them.

The Worst Job in the World

2013-05-21T08:00:00.000-06:00

Today's "Worst Job in the World" award just has to go to the PR department of Abercrombie & Fitch.

Can you imagine being responsible for damage control every time that douchecanoe Mike Jeffries opens his mouth? Trying to mop up this dude's mess has to be right up there with New York Rat Catcher or Leech Farmer.

The most recent contretemps, of course, surround his egregious "fat-shaming" comments about why A&F won't offer women's pants in a size higher than a ten. Because all you Fatty McFattersons who wear an enormous size twelve JUST AREN'T COOL ENOUGH FOR ABERCROMBIE & FITCH.

Explaining this shit to the public just CAN'T be easy:

"We're sorry our CEO is a reprehensible choad with no redeeming social qualities whatsoever."

"We regret our CEO's unfortunate comments regarding 'cool kids.' He has brain damage from repeated noogies when he was a child, and isn't responsible for his actions."

"Abercrombie & Fitch would like to publicly apologize for our complete lack of compassion, understanding, inclusion, and redeeming social value in the marketplace."

"We just suck. And we intend to continue to suck. And we'll continue to be successful at it, too."

That last one is just fucking depressing. And also, unfortunately, true.

Burden or Blessing

2013-05-20T08:00:00.000-06:00

I was having a conversation with my very favorite Auntie the other night, and we were discussing how different people approach life in different ways. We decided that there are two kinds of people in this world: Those who consider their life a blessing, and those who consider it a burden.

People who fall on the "blessing" side of the fence look at their time on this earth as something to be savored, a gift to be appreciated and enjoyed. They may not feel that way every day, of course - everyone has days where they feel like they just have to get through the day so they can go on to the next. But they don't consider every day in that light, and instead take joy in the aspects of their life that give them pleasure.

Not so the "burden" folks.

These people consider each and every day something to be endured, something that must be suffered in order to get to...I don't know what. A day that might suck less? A time in their life where things will be "different?" Some sort of game-changing event that will suddenly bring them the opportunity not to consider their lot in life to be survived, but not enjoyed?

In my never-ending (and often futile) quest to be a better human being, I've been thinking about this matter, and how much of a difference this can make in my future happiness. There have certainly been times in my life that had to be "endured," but I don't want my ENTIRE LIFE to feel that way. I want to be able to celebrate each and every day of my life (even the sucky ones). I want to have an attitude that allows me to see the world - and my place in it - as the blessing it truly is.

Because I'm naturally kind of snotty and sarcastic, this requires work. But I've decided that it's work worth doing, because I believe the end result will be a life that brings joy rather a life weighed down with burdens.

Free Shit Friday - Blueberry Lemonade Jam

2013-05-17T08:00:00.000-06:00

Today's Free Shit Friday offering is a pint of Blueberry Lemonade jam, now with more lemony flavor (due to popular demand).

da Rules.

A Tree Grows for Boogie

2013-05-15T08:00:00.000-06:00

When we lost our Beloved Boogie last Thanksgiving, my amazing and loving Blog Circle, The UCF, wanted to help us memorialize him in some way. So they ordered a tree in his name, to be delivered in the Spring in time for planting.

This is Boogie's Tree, a flowering Dogwood. It arrived when I was in Virginia, and got slightly dry in the box awaiting my return. But it's now planted in our back yard, in its own little berm, receiving all the care we can muster. We're not particularly skilled in caring for plant life, but we'll do our very best to ensure that Boogie's Tree has a long and healthy life.

Thank you, friends, for understanding how very much he meant to us, and helping us to celebrate his life.

Sticking up for the Tea Party

2013-05-13T08:00:00.000-06:00

The end-times must surely be upon us, for I agree with Glenn Beck.

It turns out that during the 2012 election the IRS was unfairly delaying or denying tax-exempt status for groups that applied with "Tea Party" or "Patriot" in their names. The next day, it then came to light that the IRS knew they were engaging in this grossly inappropriate behavior - and did next to nothing to correct the problem.

I've been following the scandal via Outside the Beltway, and there are plenty of liberal and conservative media outlets and blogs who are writing about the legalities of the situation, so I'll not do that here.

It's no secret how I feel about the so-called "Tea Party" and it's so-called "Patriotic" affiliates. I think that much of their rhetoric and vitriol is inspired by racism.I think the vast majority of the membership is being manipulated by big money, and they're too stupid to realize it. I think they're intellectually dishonest and lack anything resembling self examination. In short, I think their very presence in public life lowers the IQ of the country and their pandering to the lowest common denominator of American life makes me apoplectic with rage.

Which means I might be inclined to chortle softly in self-satisfaction at the hand they've been dealt by the IRS, right? Wrong. I feel compelled to speak about this matter, and speak on behalf of the Tea Party.

Here's the thing about that pesky "rule of law" we liberals are always nattering on about: It must apply to everyone, equally, or it means nothing. This means that not only my group gets a fair shake - all groups must get the same treatment. It means that when a government agency abuses their power and imposes bureaucratic burdens on an unpopular movement, they should be called out, held accountable, and heads should roll, REGARDLESS of which side of the political aisle is affected.

Because, you see, you never know when your group or movement might be the "unpopular" one, and be subject to the same abuse of power.

Accountability matters. When the government is involved, it matters even more. People should lose their jobs over this. And don't forget to stock up for the impending Apocalypse.

Free Shit Friday - Sugar-Free Raspberry Jam

2013-05-10T08:00:00.000-06:00

Today's Free Shit Friday giveaway is a pint of Sugar-Free Raspberry jam made with Splenda.

This is my first foray into sugar-free jam. I did taste the result, and while it doesn't taste like the sugared stuff, it was pretty tasty.

da Rules.

Rules for Life

2013-05-08T08:00:00.000-06:00

So The Bloggess posted her "Rules for Life" the other day, and like most of the stuff she writes, it was awesome. And more than little weird. Because that's just how she rolls.

But it got me to thinking - we should all have "Rules for Life" as a way to focus our desires for ourselves, and to remind us of the person we aspire to be. Writing them down provides us with a yardstick on which to judge our behavior.

So at the risk of participating in a meme, here are Janiece's Rules for Life. Some of these I shamelessly stole, and some not. Either way, they're mine now, because you can never have too many people who think "Don't be a dick" is a good rule to live by.

1. Don't be a dick.

2. Surround myself with people who are fucking awesome, and think I'm fucking awesome, too. Life's too short to spend time with people who make me feel bad.

3. Identify those limited number of people for whom I'd go to the ends of the earth, and then treat them accordingly.

4. Take care of my body. I may get sick anyway, but I'll feel better in the meantime.

5. Do work I care about, or I'll feel like I'm spending half my waking hours on soul-sucking banalities.

6. Stand up to bullies.

7. Be a good friend to my spouse, my family, my friends.

8. Maintain a level of intellectual honesty in my life. This means accepting facts that are contrary to my opinion, and then changing my mind if it's warranted.

9. Defend the weak.

10. Teach the weak how to defend themselves.

11. Get over myself. I'm not the only competent person in the room.

12. Read.

13. Be generous. Every act of generosity makes the world a better place to live, and makes me a better person.

14. Try to look at the world through someone else's lens. Not everyone's experience is that of a privileged, middle class pasty white girl. And reminding myself of this fact gives me a more accurate perception of reality.

15. Be kind to animals. Note: Humans are animals.

16. Think about how my behavior and my words affect others, whether I like them or not.

17. Don't give in to fear. That way lies madness.

18. Write thank you notes. On paper. With my hand.

19. Forgive myself, but only if I'm ready and committed to change the behavior requiring forgiveness.

20. Don't be a dick.

Miscellaneous Monday (A day late and a dollar short)

2013-05-07T08:20:00.001-06:00

And the silence rings out like thunder

The house is empty today. I mean really empty. The Smart Man went into the office today. Our Hot Daughter moved out last week while I was in Virginia. And we lost our beloved Boogie the Giant Schnauzer last year.

So today I'm alone in the house, at least until the cleaning service comes, and I'm not sure I'm digging this turn of events.

Getting ready for the end game

Now that we're bereft of kids and pets, we're giving serious thought to what we need to do in order to retire. I have less than 20 years of work left before I hit "traditional" retirement age, and while we've been contributing to our 401Ks since entering the civilian work force, there are other things we need to do so that we can enjoy the life we want when the time comes. Most of those things are related to living arrangements and health care, of course.

The Big Yellow House is not conducive to retirement living (three stories, no bedroom on the main floor), so we always thought that we'd sell it and downsize as soon as the kids were off the payroll. But now we're thinking it might be smarter to stay here for another ten years or so, just because we're finally starting to make some headway on the principal. Which means, of course, that we're going to need to execute on some long-delayed home improvement projects.

And then there's healthcare. The Smart Man is six years younger than me, and so won't be eligible for Medicare when I'm ready to stop working, and we do not yet have a plan for this gap. We have time to work it out, of course, but these are the things that are keeping me up at night now that it's just the two of us (and a hypothetical future dog).

OCD! OCD! OCD for you and me!

Rabbit food

I've been trying to come up with a plan to continue my weight loss goals while still fulfilling my travel obligations to the Military Industrial Complex. I thought I had it worked out last week when I spent 11 days on the East coast, but when I got home, my two week weight loss total was only 1.4 lbs. This was disappointing.

So I see myself with two choices: Bring my own food in my suitcase, thereby ensuring I have an accurate calorie count on what I eat, or stick to salads when I eat out (with dressing on the side). Or a combination of the two. I suspect I'll be trying the combination approach when I'm back in Virginia next week and I'll just see how that works.

Oh, and my plantar fasciitis is back, probably from running. Stupid plantar fasciitis. Like a book that you just can't seem to finish, I feel like this weight loss endeavor is going to go on FOREVER.

Free Shit Friday - Shocking, Another Pair of Shoes

2013-05-03T08:00:00.000-06:00

Today's Free Shit Friday Offering is a pair of black Naturalizer Pumps with three inch heels, size 8M.

These are in great shape, as I've only worn them once. As usual, they're been supplanted by a new pair of Fluevogs.

da Rules.

The winner of the Spiced Fig Jam is MAW, with a random number of 9. Send your contact details, and The Mechanicky Gal will mail out the Loot.

Why I Run

2013-04-29T08:00:00.000-06:00

It's been almost a year since I started running. The beginning was basically an accident. We were visiting my Smart BIL and his amazing family, and I was going for a walk as part of my health and fitness plan. Because they live at sea level, I was having trouble getting my heart rate above 100, so on a whim I decided to see if I could run for 15 minutes, walk for 15. Turns out I could, and so I started incorporating running into my plan.

Over the last year, I've increased my distance steadily, and ran my first 5k last year in support of the Wounded Warrior Project. I currently run 3 times a week for a total of 20 miles and hope to run in my first 10K this summer.

For those who have known me for many years, this turn of events seems more than a little strange. I've always despised running, so much so that I would train for and do the optional swim for my Navy Physical Readiness Test (purported to be harder than the run) just so I'd never have to run. And yet, here I am.

Over the last decade or so, I've been pretty conscientious about exercising. It controls my depression without my having to resort to medication, and once I found out that cardiovascular exercise in middle age and a decreased risk of senile dementia in old age were correlated, I was even more committed. But I always preferred walking, or the elliptical, or the arc trainer. And I still do those things, on the four days a week I don't run, or when logistics prevent me from running outside or on the track. But nothing gets my heart rate up like running, or burns more calories.

But that's not why I do it.

I run because even though I suck at it, even though I'm slow as shit and my form is bad, it makes me feel strong. I can run for eight miles without stopping, and on good days, when my legs feel good and my breathing is steady, I feel like I can run forever.

As a youngster, I was never one of the athletic kids. I was never picked for sports teams. I was always kind of bottom heavy and had short legs, and my complete lack of anything resembling coordination made me a poor choice for those endeavors. And I was made acutely aware of these "shortcomings," just like every unathletic kid in the history of the world. Thus physical activity became a source of pain for me, a place where I was compared to my peers and always found wanting.

But I'm older now, and the weight I put on comparing my physical performance with others' is pretty minimal. And removing that internal barrier has set me free. When I run, I take pleasure in my strength, in my body, in the simple fact of my own locomotion. It brings me joy, to know my body works in this fundamental way, and that I'm using it to do the work for which it evolved.

I'm strong when I run. I can feel my lungs, my heart, my muscles and bones working together to propel me forward. And that makes me grateful.

Free Shit Friday - Spiced Fig Jam by The Mechanicky Gal

2013-04-26T08:00:00.000-06:00

Today's Free Shit Friday offering is a Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men/Mechanicky Gal Joint.

The Mechanicky Gal has an extremely prolific fig tree in her back yard, and recently made a foray into jam making. This is the last of three offerings from that endeavor, a jar of Spiced Fig jam.

da Rules.

Go, Us

2013-04-24T08:00:00.000-06:00

Like most Americans, I've been following the news out of Boston for the last week or so. I'm glad the two suspects have been removed from society* pending due process, and I'm proud as hell of the performance of the first responders and civilians during this crisis. Go, us.

During the course of the crisis, though, I noticed something very different between the reaction of our country between what happened on 9/11 and what happened in Boston. While noting that the scale of these events is very different, I think it's fair to say that we, as Americans, did a much better job this time around.

First responders and law enforcement were on the ball. They apparently coordinated their efforts effectively, which resulted in not only the apprehension of the suspects, but the safeguarding of civilians and property. While the courage and dedication of first responders on 9/11 was never in question, they were working under the handicaps of shock and a failure of coordinated communications. That did not appear to be the case in Boston. We all know that America is not safe from this type of behavior. We're just not, and if 9/11 taught our first responders anything, it was not to be naive on this count and to be prepared. And we were. Go, us.

But I think the biggest change in our collective reaction was the courage of the general population. 9/11 was such a shocking event, such an unexpected event, I don't think people understood what was going on, and thus their reactions were compromised by their confusion and ignorance. Now? Spectators and runners responded. They ran toward the danger, right into the smoke and fire, in order to help those in need. While there are plenty of stories of the people in New York responding in just such a way 12 years ago, I think now the population understands such extraordinary acts of bravery by ordinary people are expected. They're still praiseworthy, these people still command our respect and admiration, but the culture has changed. Seeing the photos of our heroes still brings a tear to my eye and a swelling to my heart, but my reaction is no longer, "What an extraordinary human being." Instead it's "Of course people rushed in to help, in spite of the danger. It's how we roll."

"Keep calm and carry on," as it were.

The Smart Man thinks this sea change may be a result of seeing how New York's first responders behaved on 9/11. That the example of those men and women doing their duty with such determination and courage has shamed us into raising the bar on our obligations to help one another not just by donating to the American Red Cross, but by charging into the breach when necessary.

I don't know if he's right, but I'm intensely proud of this change. Prior to 9/11, it seemed that this kind of self-sacrifice was on the wane in our country. Now? Now, like Carlos Arredondo, we run into the smoke and the fire, to face the danger head-on, and help those who are not in a position to help themselves.

Go us, indeed.

____________
*Hey, being killed by law enforcement after holding up a convenience store, murdering a police officer, throwing explosives and carjacking innocents is, in fact, being "removed from society." While I would have preferred that the young man in question been taken alive for intelligence reasons, I'll shed no tears over this outcome.

Miscellaneous Monday

2013-04-22T08:00:00.000-06:00

On the Road Again

I'm leaving tomorrow for the Washington, DC area for eleven days. There are certain tasks I need to complete there, and since I needed to be there first thing Monday morning on the 29th, I didn't see any point in coming home for the weekend. So instead I'll be spending the weekend with my Smart BIL, my Amazing SIL and my AWESOME, AWESOME NIECE. It's a supreme sacrifice, it's true, but somehow I'll carry on.

The Smart Man, of course, is simply GREEN with envy. Not that I blame him. I'd be grumpy, too, if I was him. I just hope the business portion of the trip goes as well as I suspect the personal part will.

On Fear

I've been struggling a bit over the last week with fear and depression. Nothing crippling, and nothing that I don't think I'll get over, but it's been...annoying. And fatiguing. These occasions always make me appreciate the fact that I don't suffer from more serious mental illness. I'm capable of muscling through these times, and I'm grateful I have that option.

The Empty Nest

While I'm in Virginia, our Hot Daughter is planning on moving out. This will be the second time the Smart Man and I have had the house to ourselves (the first time lasted only four months, between the Smart Sailor's departure for Boot Camp and our Hot Daughter's return as a full time student).

I know some parents wig out when their adult children leave home and they're left with an empty nest. I have no understanding of this position. My attitude has always been that getting them the hell out without resorting to juvenile detention or pole-dancing is the preferred outcome. The fact that both of them are finally achieving this goal is a great, big WIN, even if she's only going two blocks instead of halfway around the world like her brother. If you need us, the Smart Man and I will be swinging from the chandeliers. After I return from DC, I mean.

She Ain't Heavy

Yes, she is. But I'm working on it. I've lost almost nine pounds since April 1st, which puts me right on track for my summer weight-loss goal. We'll see how that holds up while I'm out of town. Wish me luck.

2013 Flower Pr0n, San Diego Edition the Fifth

2013-04-21T08:00:00.000-06:00

Free Shit Friday - What a Surpirse, More Shoes

2013-04-19T08:00:00.000-06:00

Today's Free Shit Friday offering is a pair of Aerosole shoes with 3" heels, size 8 Medium.

da Rules.

The winner of the Ouzo Fig Jam is Stacey, with a Random Number of 4. Stacey, send your new address to The Mechanicky Gal so she can ship out your loot when she's damn good and ready.

Also, MAW never sent contact details for the Amaretto Fig Jam, so we're defaulting to the First Runner up, Anne. You snooze, you lose.

No Hugs for Them

2013-04-17T08:00:00.000-06:00

Yesterday when I wrote my declaration in favor of humanity, my Hot Mom responded that while she was sending hugs to the victims and responders of the Boston attack, those responsible should be deprived of this comfort now and forevermore. No hugs for them, she noted.

And this got me to thinking. The problem with having a large, dispersed population is that the traditional form of punishment known as "banishment" doesn't work anymore.

Imagine if banishing those people who are capable of such heinous acts was still possible. They would be cut off from civilization, from the comforts of modern life, from the succor of community and family. No reputable family would take them in, no business would take their money, no group would welcome them to their proverbial fire. They would be destitute, and utterly, completely alone.

On the other hand, there are certainly advantages to living in a society that no longer has the option to banish. More diversity, fewer constraints on behavior that does not hurt others, less superstition. These all contribute to the net good in the world. Which means I guess I'll have to be satisfied with the modern equivalent, otherwise known as "prison."

My thoughts and support to the law enforcement professionals working diligently to find answers in Boston. And hugs. Sending those, too.