Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights

Mine the Archives! Explore the Most Popular Posts and Other Caves of Consciousness

2011-01-04T23:17:00.000-08:00

Dear Readers,

How to Find Stuff

With Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights primarily on archive status as of January 1, 2011, I want you to have ways to mine and access the treasure trove of information on this blog. I have added in the sidebar links to The Most Popular Posts. This feature changes automatically as the frequency of reading specific posts shifts. That’s just one way to access information.

Another is the Search Box. Wonder if I’ve ever had a cool insight on a specific subject? Pop it into the Search Box high on the sidebar. See what you find!

Lastly, you can always check the Blog Archive by date. This is, in some ways, the most tedious (though not really too bad), but definitely the most thorough. If you’re looking for the vast range of materials posted over three years, make a date with posts by date. The Blog Archive is located lower on the sidebar.

Products Still Available—and On Sale!

You’ll note that the two most popular posts ever are about my No Soliciting sign. I still am offering these signs and my e-book, The Training Tape, for just a buck! Purchase in the sidebar via PayPal. A PDF file will be e-mailed to you, usually within 48 hours. This function will ultimately be automated as a download.

About Archives

Blogs are designed in a diary style with the most recent post on top. When a necessary siesta from posting occurs, as in my case, there are no longer automatic posts in the various social media to keep it alive in your mind. So, I realize, it takes a little more effort to give you quick access to what remains always available. For now, Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights will be more like a regular website—housing static, timeless material.

My experience with this kind of archiving has been fabulous. Since the early 2000s, many of my best astrology articles have been posted on the unique Australian archive, A Place in Space. I cannot tell you over time how many people have seen and appreciated my articles posted there. I hope it will be the same for now for this blog of my heart.

Comments and Signs

I’ll still monitor comments and update the monthly astrology profiles on the sidebar.

Thank you for visiting. I thank my lucky stars for the active years and know that Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights will continue to do good work on autopilot for now.

Keep insighting a riot,

Joyce

~~~

Joyce Mason is a writer and astrologer-plus. Contact her: joyce [at] joycemason.com. Visit her website, Writer-Astrologer Joyce Mason, her astrology blog, The Radical Virgo, and her poetry blog, Stitched Verse.

Photo Credit: Work Crew © Blake Anthony | Dreamstime.com

10 Weeks of Word Oracles – Storage

2010-12-26T13:47:00.000-08:00

End of the Series and Other End-Beginnings

What do we put in storage? Usually, things we value but don’t need or aren’t using at this time. Holiday decorations are a perfect example. We may treasure ornaments we’ve collected for decades, but they’re only appropriate to display during a certain season. We may have a house full of belongings that no longer fit in a downsized life that await in the storage facility, wondering if our circumstances will shift and make them practical to use once more. Sometimes we keep hanging onto things we’ll never really need again for sentimental reasons.

Do you have things in your life that you need to put in storage? Literally or figuratively?

To read more about the word oracle series, see
10 weeks of Word Oracles #1

The Culmination of the Word Oracle Series—and a Surprising Synchronicity

Mining words for insights and their metaphorical meanings has been an eye-opening experience for me for ten posts. This is our last word in the series.

We have explored: upper, fall, slice, drawing, yesterday, coloring, bother, backlog, belief, and now storage. (The easiest way to find any one of the articles on these previously covered words is to pop the word into the Search box on the sidebar.)

Ironically, the last several words we’ve explored have had personal meaning and added clarity to my difficult decision to put Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights into a form of “storage” as of the first of the year. As I write this post and wish you a Happy New Year, I’m also saying good-bye for now—at least for the most part.

Since the inception of my astrology blog, The Radical Virgo, in March 2009, my inner guidance has made it clear that more of my time and attention needs to be spent in the direction of astrology, my reopened Inner Growth Work practice, and my book writing projects. Finally, I’m surrendering to what’s good for me for now. Used to be I wouldn’t give up till I was almost completely burned out trying to “do it all.” I’m improving!

At present there are five times more visits and participation on The Radical Virgo than Hot Flashbacks. While we have maintained a loyal audience on this blog, it is relatively small. As my first blog, Hot/Cool has a special place in my heart. It’s like my first-born child—truly special. I love it here. I still plan to keep Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights somewhat active—occasional posts as the spirit moves and monthly astrological updates. Now that I’ll be blogging much less, it’s your chance to dig into any posts you missed or to dig deeper in ones you’re ready to revisit. See Most Popular Posts near the top of the sidebar as a great starting point.

I freely admit; I’ve become addicted to blogging. But it takes up most of my time every week. My projects on hold are the ones that will help support my family and me. More importantly, they are works of the heart that I need to share to fulfill my vocational passion.

I will monitor Comments to previous posts and the occasional new one! Feel free to get talking about anything on Hot/Cool … and to keep in touch. Visit The Radical Virgo, too. Even of you’re a newbie to astrology, you’ll find many beginner-friendly articles. Like any language, immersing yourself in astrology ultimately will make you fluent. You’ll be talking squares, oppositions, quincunxes and retrogrades before you know it!

As my other projects come to fruition and my energy shifts, there’s a good chance I’ll be back here with cool insights in some new way. This blog has always been about following Spirit … and that’s often a wild wide with many twists and turns! I hope I have set an example for following your inner voice.

Meditation and Journaling on Storage

Sit quietly in a meditative posture, whatever one works for you. Have pen and paper nearby.

1.      Take three deep breaths. Say “storage” to yourself. Let the word rest on your mind, and then let your mind speak. Now ask yourself, “What do I need to put away for now?” Take plenty of time to let the thoughts form or memories come back to you. Let your memories or thoughts finish speaking. When they’re done saying what they have to say, write down their message.

2.      Return to meditation. Read this thought, and then sit with it in the silence for as long as it feels right: I scan my life for what no longer serves me and my vision now, knowing I can put it in storage or place it on hold to review it another day. I sense some things are still part of my life, just not now.

3.      When you come out of meditation, look at what you wrote about “storage.” Take some time to contemplate it. Carry these thoughts and intentions into your week. Learn as much as possible about potential “storage projects” this week. Write a few wrap-up notes as we put away 2010 for 2011.

After you put away what needs to go into storage, you can fully embrace what the New Year has “in store” for you!

Happy New Year, and I’ll be back in January with tips on how to mine the archive of posts on this blog for continued cool insights.

Every blessing to each and every one of you,

Joyce

~~~

Photo credit: Storage Box © Bradcalkins | Dreamstime.com

10 Weeks of Word Oracles - Belief

2010-12-07T16:01:00.000-08:00

Whether you’re a Christian, Jew, Muslim, agnostic or atheist—whatever the flavor or your spirituality or worldview—December is a Season of Love and Light. People are, for the most part, kinder. Anticipation fills the air. Even those who don’t believe in Santa, Jesus, good karma—or that people are still good at heart—even they may find it difficult to avoid the contagion of a world that’s on an upper.

There are some people who don’t have good holiday memories and fall into crabby or Scrooge-like behavior because of their unhealed personal pain. There’s enough goodwill around to absorb their hurt and bitterness. Yes, there’s commercial madness and a lot of falling off-center about the true spirit of the season. This is the perfect time of year for reviewing our beliefs and asking ourselves, what are they? Have they changed? How do I act from them as an individual in integrity?

To read more about the word oracle series, see 10 weeks of Word Oracles #1

The Sun entered Sagittarius on Nov. 22, the sign associated with philosophy, religion, beliefs, and higher education. To read more about how the astrology of the month between Nov. 22 and the Winter Solstice on Dec. 21 influences us, take a Moonwalk: Sagittarius with me on The Radical Virgo.

How Do We Teach Kids Values?

I had a conversation with a friend about this recently, about how to “teach our children well,” as the old Fifth Dimension song goes (one of my faves). Greed and other Golden Rule breakers tip our world in the wrong direction. Greed, for one, seems directly responsible for our current economic chaos. We need to be against it, vote against it, and act against it if we find it creeping into our thoughts and actions. We’ve managed to make smoking socially taboo and economically expensive and have done the same thing with drinking and driving. We take away licenses and throw butts in jail! Now, let’s go for greed! We are not helpless. We can just say no to things that are not good for society as a whole.

We live in an increasingly secular world. In my own case, I grew up in parochial schools with strong ethics. I may not have always agreed with the reasoning of the nuns who taught me. I often say, they taught me the right things, often for the wrong reasons. For example, there’s nothing inherently wrong with sexuality; it’s beautiful. However, having sex before one is old enough to handle the emotional and possible physical consequences is a nightmare waiting to happen. I often muse that guilt and control were just one way to teach. I’m very mental. They could have also reached me with reason!

In other words, there are many ways to share beliefs. If we want sound children and grandchildren, we need to start telling them our stories—why we do things the way we do, why we don’t do them in a way that harms others. But before we can pass along a good code for living, it’s important to make a periodic review of where we stand with these issues. You might be surprised to uncover dilemmas, changes, and a need to regroup your thinking.

Spiritual Diversity

I celebrate spiritual diversity. There are many ways to look at life and live it, but at heart, we are all human. Any way of life that enhances our freedom and respect for one another is life-affirming and a good thing. Early in my explorations of metaphysics, I was tolerant of everyone except the spiritually conservative. Fortunately, I have grown to embrace people who take a religious fundamentalist approach as much as those who chant om on hilltops. People have different ways of helping themselves stay on the straight and narrow, which is nothing more than the path we have in common where we support each other without harm and hopefully, with help--and emphasis on the “support.”

I’ve got an idea for you this holiday season, because I drew this word as an oracle. Ask a friend of a different faith if you can attend a service with him or her. Or visit a church, synagogue or mosque on your own—with a phone call ahead, if it helps you to have an entrée. Go to an atheists’ meeting. If nothing else, rent a movie to learn more about some viewpoint or faith other than your own. Tolerance comes from knowing people with different ideas, from putting different beliefs in the context of our shared humanity. This outreach may help you solidify or amend your own beliefs in some way. At best, it’s an exciting adventure to learn how the other half lives. When you consider how many wars are fought over religion, this exercise can truly be your part in creating peace on earth, as in that wonderful song, “Let There Be Peace on Earth—and Let It Begin with Me.”

What better time of year! And now for an inner journey on the same subject …

Meditation and Journaling on Belief

Sit quietly in a meditative posture, whatever one works for you. Have pen and paper nearby.

1. Take three deep breaths. Say “belief” to yourself. Let the word rest on your mind, and then let your mind speak. Now ask yourself, “What are my basic beliefs?” Take plenty of time to let the thoughts form or memories come back to you. Let your memories or thoughts finish speaking. When they’re done saying what they have to say, write down their message.

2. Return to meditation. Read this thought, and then sit with it in the silence for as long as it feels right: I review my beliefs and note how I have changed. I work on clarifying my beliefs to myself so I can share them coherently with others. Sharing beliefs in a non-threatening way leads to peace on earth, one person at a time.

3. When you come out of meditation, look at what you wrote about “belief.” Take some time to contemplate it. Carry these thoughts and intentions into your week. Learn as much as possible about your beliefs this week. Write a few wrap-up notes before the end of the week and our next word.

Above all, believe in yourself!

~~~

Next and final word in the series: Storage

Photo Credit: © Mkoudis | Dreamstime.com

The Fairy Godmother’s 2010 Holiday Gift Guide

2010-11-29T09:23:00.000-08:00

Yes, boys and girls! She’s baaaack! The Fairy Godmother is now in her third year on Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights. She’s here to bonk you with her magic wand and sprinkle you with fairy dust. As always, she’s got new gift ideas for spirited giving. I hope you find a match between some of Mom’s ideas and your gift list.

Spa-La-La- La-La – If you’ve got women on your list that love to soak in the lap of luxury, go to the health food store or your favorite boutique and buy some natural bath products. Plantlife is one of Mom’s favorite brands. These carefully chosen items should smell so good, it’s hard not to keep them for yourself! Pack them in a little basket, or in the case of the Plantlife products, soap and bath packets are square. They can be stacked, wrapped in clear vinyl wrap, tied with a bow and a tag that says Spa-La-La-La-La.

The Merry Martini Mixology Book. Here’s one good-time gift for Sex & the City type girlfriends—or for any guy or gal who likes their holiday cheer unique and fun. Even if you aren’t an expert mixologist, no worries! The Martini Diva will guide you through all the necessary steps, making you laugh out loud while making your martinis—not to mention the laughter to follow while drinking them. Click the book cover to purchase. And don’t forget, you can mix it up a little on New Year’s Eve. Save the champagne for midnight, sandwiched in-between a few fancy ‘tinis on either side. Don’t forget to drink in moderation and schedule a designated driver or call a cab when living spirited in the distilled spirits way. This small volume will jingle the bells of your friends who like to party!

Avatar, Collector’s Edition – With its metaphysical and ecological themes, Avatar is a natural for your spirited friends. I plan to see it over and over again! It just came out in DVD in mid-November and is available on Amazon for under $20 regular and $25 in Blu-ray. And if you want another one of Joyce’s punny tags to go with this Godmom suggestion, try Feliz Na’vi-dad!

Winter Wellness Basket – Sniffles, flu, the blah’s. Anticipate winter and bringing comfort to those you love who have a tendency to get under the weather when the thermometer plummets and the rain or snow sets in. Fill it with some of these helpful, natural products: Occillococcinum to avert or reduce the symptoms of flu; and for colds and building immunity, big bottle of Vitamin C or other great C- products like Emergen-C (comes in yummy flavors) or Airborne. Echinacea tincture is another immune booster. You can include bath salts for aches and pains (Batherapy) or Dr. Singha’s Mustard Bath. It knocks bugs on their bum! Any health food store or Whole Foods can utterly inspire this gift basket with natural products from lip balm to cough syrup to comforting medicinal teas. Rescue Remedy, which now comes in drops, pastilles, or spray, can fight the blahs and emotional heaviness that sometimes sets in with winter. For pure comfort, add a teddy bear, fluffy slippers, and or a lightweight fleece blanket that offers warmth without weight for sitting in front of the fire. If you want to go all-out, add a paperback book packed with humor. Laughter is always the best medicine!

Nostalgic Music and Dining – If there’s someone 60ish or older on your list, “era” music CDs are a can’t-go-wrong favorite. The soundtrack from American Graffiti is a great choice for baby boomers. There are countless collections on Amazon for music from nearly any era—30’s, 40’s, 50’s or styles such as Big Band or Do Wop. Check your local PBS affiliate, too. There are often pledge drives that feature collections from these groups that are dynamite. Amazon carries some wonderful nostalgic Christmas music. Alternatively, if you’ve got a local Mel’s or similar ‘50s-themed diner, a gift certificate can let them blast to the past in person.

Kindle – If you can afford a big gift for your closest loved ones who are also avid readers, they will never stop thanking you for an e-reader. Did you know that Amazon predicts by year’s end that e-books will outsell paperbacks? Check out the three Kindle versions now available. The two smaller ones are $139 and $189. Tim and I are foregoing other gifts to give each other Kindles for Christmas. Check out other e-readers, too. I prefer Kindle for its light weight and several other features, but each person’s needs are unique. Here’s a link to start comparing e-book readers.

Dressing Up Gift Cards

With times tough on the financial front for many people, gift cards are often the way to go. Many of us can’t go to Starbuck’s much any more, and I’m telling you, at the price of groceries, I’d jump up and down if someone gave me a card to one of my favorite markets. Restaurants are always a winner, but the problem with gift cards is that they seem a little uncreative and blah compared to a present that was carefully chosen. Gift cards could stand to be punched up a little, so here are some ideas our Fairy Godmom shared with me:

“Jungle Bells” – The Amazon’s a jungle, and there’s surely as much “wild life” when it comes to diversity of gifts on the website of the same name. If your recipients are web savvy, an Amazon gift card is a great choice because of Amazon’s many departments. Consider adding in a small stuffed “jungle” character like a monkey. The card can be taped or propped in the animal’s arms with a tag that says “Jungle Bells.”

Travel by Restaurant – In lasts year’s Fairy Godmother post, I talked about creating a “travel” gift by packaging an Outback Restaurant gift card as a trip to Australia. This same concept can be applied to any cuisine—a trip to Italy, Mexico, Greece—you name it! You can also apply this idea to gift baskets. Pack a basket with olive oil, pasta, the canned ingredients to make sauce, and your favorite recipe. Add a $10 gift card to a grocery store for meat, sausage or other fresh ingredients needed. Tag it as a trip to Italy and don’t forget to add “Merry Christmas” in the appropriate language (Buon Natale!).

Winter Reads – There’s nothing like curling up with a good book in the cold weather by the fire. Create a warm and cozy environment for your favorite bookworm. Package the card with some nice winter tea (the Celestial Seasons holiday line is superb) or cocoa. Place in a small basket or box with a bookmark or other reading paraphernalia, such as a pair of inexpensive reading glasses (if you can sneak a peak at their prescription), or my favorite reading tool, a leather book weight. It helps keep pages with a mind of their own flat and open. If you’re computer creative, you can even make your own bookmark with something special to the recipient, like a photo of grandkids or a favorite quote.

Between this year’s and the previous year’s Fairy Godmother’s posts, linked below, I hope you have plenty of ideas to make your holiday gift giving a delight to both giver and receiver. Spin off these suggestions and make them your own … and remember that the thoughtfulness behind your gift will shine through and keep giving long after the gift opening ritual is just a memory.

Happy Shopping—and Happy Holidays!

~~~

Photo Credit: Granny Fairy © Regissercom | Dreamstime.com

Past Godmother Gift Posts: The Fairy Godmother (2008) and The Fairy Godmother Wands You (2009)

10 Weeks of Word Oracles - Backlog

2010-11-19T09:14:00.000-08:00

No one has to tell me why I drew backlog as one of our word oracles and potential goldmines of insight. I live in such backlog; it makes my hair stand on end. How about you?

My office is always in what I call an advanced state of chaos. I can barely find the things I need. Sometimes I can’t find them at all. I cringe to think of the money I’ve wasted buying replacements for things that are simply hidden away somewhere in my Fibber McGee’s closet. You know, the one where you open the door and assorted flying objects launch and go straight for your head. The avalanche is what you get for disturbing the peace of your put-off stuff. Now you want to access something or even deal with cleaning the mess and the mess is resistant.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

To read more about the word oracle series: 10 weeks of Word Oracles #1

The Bottom Line of Backlog

Backlog comes from an inability to make decisions, especially about the use of our time. It’s particularly hard for people like me with multiple interests. I keep thinking I can do it all, and my busy brain hates boredom so much, I actually try. I keep trying to do in my sixties what I could do in my forties. (At least I finally gave up trying to keep up with my twenties.) I can’t count the binders, tote bags and boxes for my various interests: making art from cast-off jewelry, saving scraps for Soul Collage cards, accumulating reading material on subjects so varied, I need a Dewey Decimal system to find anything.

Let’s not even get started on my computer. I can’t seem to let go of anything. I finally sort and do a purge on my In Box when it pushes 500. I might need one of those e-mails sometime, you know? And since I do occasionally, it just feeds my resistance to the Delete button. Add the fact that I’m terribly sentimental. Any object, e-mail, book or tschotschke given to me by someone I care about is destined to become a permanent relic.

This is a crazy way to live. I am not a slob at heart—quite the opposite. I am apparently not a good decision maker on the small things that accumulate into huge piles of backlog, whether work or do-dads. I seem to do much better with the big things—choosing a house, a spouse, a pet, or where to on vacation. It’s the little stuff that’s making my house into my Aunt Donna’s* curse. When she saw a messy house, she’d look around with a critical eye and declare, “Picks live here!” Her siblings shared my mother’s gift for malapropisms and mangling language, and her sister Donna was probably the worst in the family of everyone. Except for Uncle Enzo. He had no problem making big decisions. He wanted a “bunk” (bungalow) in “Skoke” (Skokie, a suburb of Chicago.) If “picks” could make better decisions on the little things, they could live here and I wouldn’t even complain or threaten to turn them into bacon.

Messes, Mom Energy, and Self-Love

The truth is my cumulative messiness has more to do with giving away my energy to everyone but me. I’m a giver by nature, and while this is not a bad thing in and of itself, the criminal neglect of my surroundings is a result of putting others first and my ambience last. Ambience is important to me! It’s another one of those ways women in particular can slip easily into doing for others more than the do unto themselves. (Is it time to reread The Converse Golden Rule?)

My adoptive mom was an immaculate housekeeper. I can remember how angry I’d get at her when she’d wake us up early on a Saturday morning, the only day we could sleep in, usually with a poke in the arm or ribs. Why? To clean house. What was she thinking? If you couldn’t eat off the floors, she would make so much noise, you’d scrub them with a toothbrush, if she wanted, just for the blessed silence.

Maybe I’m still rebelling, but I think it’s more that I’m too much like her in my over-mothering skills. I have to do less tending of others and more tending to myself. My situation is complicated by the fact that my husband’s health conditions limits his mobility and energy, though he does do whatever he can to help when he can. But where it hits home is in my office, which he has nothing to do with. Work is obviously much more important than cleaning to me, but it’s getting to the point that I have to spend a lot of time clearing the debris of my backlog so I can continue to function in my bedroom-converted office. Can someone give me the formula for converting it back to organized? Can a priest, minister, or rabbi do something about this—say a prayer or at least let me tell a good joke about them?

What’s the Psychology of Whatever You’re Drowning In?

Backlogs involve resistance and poor prioritization skills for me. What’s the make-up of your mess or pile of Can’t Get To’s? These are topics worth pondering, if you truly want to break out of the endless loop of things piled up in whatever form. In the current economy, most people can’t afford household help, so it’s time to help yourself. Maybe I’ll finally read that book on How to Conquer Clutter—if I can find it!

Meanwhile, let’s discover mine some insights to downsize your current backlog.

Meditation and Journaling on Backlog

Sit quietly in a meditative posture, whatever one works for you. Have pen and paper nearby.

1. Take three deep breaths. Say “backlog” to yourself. Let the word and the question rest on your mind, and then let your mind speak. Now ask yourself, “What’s piling up in my life that I can’t get to?” Take plenty of time to let the thoughts form or memories come back to you. Let your memories or thoughts finish speaking. When they’re done saying what they have to say, write down their message.

2. Return to meditation. Read this thought, and then sit with it in the silence for as long as it feels right: I understand what’s behind my backlog, and I will address it, bit by bit. This condition built up over time. I will clear my backlog with steady work. When I’m “caught up,” I will do whatever it takes to form new habits of making decisions, tackling work, putting things away and staying on top of them.

3. When you come out of meditation, look at what you wrote about “backlog.” Take some time to contemplate it. Carry these thoughts and intentions into your week. Learn as much as possible about your relationship to backlog. Write a few wrap-up notes before the end of the week and our next word.

May your life flow!

~~~

Next word: Belief

Note: We’ll be taking a break for a few weeks to address some other topics, including the annual Fairy Godmother holiday gift ideas post. 10 Weeks of Word Oracles will be back in mid-December.

* The names of my family members have been changed to protect the privacy of my relatives and for consistency with their pseudonyms in some of my other writing.

Photo Credit: Person in Pile of Papers © Qwasyz | Dreamstime

10 Weeks of Word Oracles - Bother

2010-11-07T14:51:00.000-08:00

The cusp of "why bother?"

Drawing this word as one of our oracles bothered me! To bother is to pester or annoy. A bother is something that requires a lot of work without adequate return. Bothered can also mean to be bewildered or confused when you don’t “get” something. The last meaning is the stuff of Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights. Here we dig into the meaning of things. Like why I’d draw bother for discussion.

To read the whys and wherefores of the word oracle series, see 10 weeks of Word Oracles #1

Why Bother?

Yet having trouble seeing the light about events in our lives is not where I want to focus this time. What calls to me from my intuition to discuss is the expression, “Why bother?” It implies a lot of effort for little result—or the point at which a person begins to question the input-to-output ratio on anything they do.

Bother seems to be a negative word, but it’s only when we look at both the light the dark side of anything that we attain balance.

What are just tired of doing? What’s going on in your life where putting in a lot of effort doesn’t seem to be giving you much in return?

We reach these cusps in relationships, jobs, volunteer organizations and activities—in all aspects of life. They are not a bad thing. They are simply turning points.

Giving-to-Receiving Ratio

Not all things in life are meant to be in perfect balance when it comes to giving and receiving. As any parent will attest, the role of mother or father, over the course of a lifetime, has periods when giving outweighs receiving. But in the big picture, few parents would give back their children or deny they’re “worth it.” Infancy passes, when a child is totally dependent on his or her parents for every need. Adolescence, when your kid drives you up the wall? It passes, too, as do the years of high college expenses for results hoped for and often nowadays in no way assured.

We all go through our ups-and-downs in personal relationships, too. Our partner may be cranky, dealing with issues at work, health challenges, or any number of potential reasons that put us in the position for some time of giving much and feeling on the short end of the receiving stick.

Whether it’s our church, club or other group we hold dear, we have hair-pulling times of always being the one to do it all and wondering why the whole thing revolves around the big heartedness of a few. These why bother moments are disheartening—more so the bigger the heart.

The question, why bother, asks us to examine when the cumulative imbalance becomes a deal breaker.

The Cusp of Change

We all know the expression, the straw the broke the camel’s back. You give one thing too many, and you’re done—ready to bolt. Sometimes that’s a good move; sometimes it’s a mistake.

The cusp of why bother begs analysis of a situation. For a spirited individual, analysis should always precede action. If we cut something or someone loose too soon, we might be kicking out the kid, the spouse, or resigning from a committee that’s important to us during one of those seasons where it's OK to give more than receive. These giving upticks and temporary imbalances are just part of life. We might not have enough long-term experience with the situation to determine if the giving-to-receiving ratio is a permanent pattern.

But boy oh boy, if it is, when you hear why bother in your mind on a regular basis, the analysis is due, if not overdue. Always listen to your inner voice when it bothers you with that pesky question.

The Final Analysis

In the end, the decision of whether it’s time to stop bothering—or not—is a conclusion that can only come from analysis of your unique situation, perhaps in conjunction with some trusted advisors. Let your higher self and inner voice be among them. And if it’s time to move on, ask for help from the spiritual realm to make it gentle on yourself and everyone concerned.

Meanwhile, here’s an exercise to help you hear any voices that might be crying or crying out from giver’s fatigue.

Meditation and Journaling on Bother

Sit quietly in a meditative posture, whatever one works for you. Have pen and paper nearby.

1. Take three deep breaths. Say “bother” to yourself. Let it rest on your mind, and then let your mind speak. Now ask if the expression why bother hits home for you in any way. Take plenty of time to let the thoughts form or memories come back to you. Let your memories or thoughts finish speaking. When they are done saying what they have to say, write down their message.

2. Return to meditation. Read this thought, and then sit with it in the silence for as long as it feels right: I will tune up my inner hearing and notice whenever I hear, “why bother?” from my inner self. I commit to weighing what it means and giving myself time to form considered conclusions about it. Then I will act, if change is needed.

3. When you come out of meditation, look at what you wrote about “bother.” Take some time to contemplate it. Carry these thoughts and intentions into your week. Learn as much as possible about your relationship to bother. (Other meanings besides why bother and over-giving may have come up. Are you being or putting up with someone who’s a bother?) Write a few wrap-up notes before the end of the week and our next word.

Hope your week is no bother whatsoever.

~~~

Next word: Backlog

Photo credit: Overwhelmed © Blake Anthony | Dreamstime

More Coloring - Adult Coloring Books

2010-10-30T20:43:00.000-07:00

An add-on to the post

10 Weeks of Word Oracles - Coloring

Guess I'm still the Queen of Synchronicity! I had two adult coloring books come into my life right after I wrote the last post on coloring. With the extra insight I got in my PS to the Coloring post, this makes a trio—always a sign that something good is up, something that deserves attention!

First, I loved noticing that I had been trained to color between the lines and how it helped me with the bubble fill-in on my mail-in ballot for the November 2 election

Second, I had bought my husband a calendar from the kitty boys for Christmas. It’s by B. Kliban, the late, great cat cartoonist. Upon further examination the other night, I realized that it’s a coloring calendar. So now the boys have to give it to us both or give it to me, because I’m not giving up an excuse to sit with my coloring tools and play. (One: How did I do that? Two: How did I do that without noticing it at the time?)

Third, last night my wonderful group of spiritual women met for our monthly meeting. One of them planned a surprise activity. We each got to draw a book out of a bag, and it was a book of mandalas for coloring.

So, grown-ups of the world, unite and indulge your inner child. Go buy some coloring books of whatever ilk and a batch of crayons, colored markers and/or pencils. Re-experience what being in charge of choosing colors does for you, not to mention the pure therapeutic aspect of repetitive activity devoid of daily worries.

I have to wonder what it all means, but I’ve got a hunch. In these interesting times of huge change and universal transition, it’s totally up to us how we color our world.

Make mine brilliant.

10 Weeks of Word Oracles - Coloring

2010-10-28T09:04:00.000-07:00

When I drew coloring as one of our word oracles, my first impression was similar to the one I had with drawing. It took me back to my coloring books and the thrill of a new box of 100 Binney-Smith Crayolas. Every Christmas I begged for a new set, the old ones by year’s end worn to nubs from overuse. Use of the most unusual colors became my quest. I liked magenta but I think burnt sienna stuck in my mind most of all for its similarity to the color of autumn leaves. In 2007, Binney-Smith morphed into Crayola, Inc. Five decades later, it rechristened itself after its most famous product and has many more colorful offerings today. I admit it; I still like to color in coloring books as an adult. (The last one I bought was a Harry Potter—and it comes in handy when real kids visit.) Check out how lucky kids are nowadays on the Crayola site. Download free coloring pages, including some very cool ones for the holidays.

Wonder what we’re doing here playing with words? See 10 weeks of Word Oracles #1

Eye for Color

I’ve always had an eye for color. Once when my choir decided to wear solid colors onstage, tops and bottoms, any single color being OK; I found a top first in a deep jade green. A week later with only “color memory” as my guide, I found a bottom the same color that matched within a hair. They looked identical. You could only tell the difference with a magnifying glass. The paint department and the chips at Home Depot are heaven to me, and I’m forever taking some home to dream about when I’ll have the time and budget to redo various rooms in my house. Colorstrology by Michele Bernhardt, which matches your birthday to a specific color with interpretation, is a huge favorite, and I plan on using it as my ultimate makeover reference, whether it’s my office or my psyche I’m redoing. In the latter case, I’ll surround myself with the colors that help me feel the most upbeat. (My personal birthday color is Misty Rose with the characteristics unusual, dynamic, and clever.) You might want to explore this book or one like it that deals with color psychology.

Chakras

A discussion of coloring wouldn’t be complete without the seven chakras or subtle energy centers in the body. Starting from the bottom up, red is associated with the tailbone or base of the spine. It’s called the root or 1^st chakra. These whirling disks of invisible energy move up the body as follows: orange at the 2^nd belly or sacral chakra, just below the navel; yellow at the solar plexus or 3^rd chakra; green at the 4^th or heart chakra; blue at the 5^th or throat chakra; indigo is associated with the 6^th chakra at the third eye between the visible eyes; and purple is at the crown or 7^th chakra at the top of the head. Our own energy fields are bathed in color. Chakra means wheel in Sanskrit. We carry our own color wheel with us at all times!

Coloring

We talk often about someone’s coloring or complexion—light, dark, pale, olive, brown, black, yellow, ruddy. In Oriental Medicine, the color in a patient’s face is as important a tool as pulse diagnosis. It gives feedback about the person’s medical condition. I can always tell when my best friend is getting sick. She looks “green around the gills.” With my sensitivity to color, I can always tell when hers is “off.” I notice changes in facial coloring instantly. Color not only makes us diverse and interesting; it offers us important feedback about our health.

“Color My World With Hope …”

The coloring I most want to explore, though, is how we color everything we do with our attitude. We can be red with anger, green with envy, in a blue funk, or beaming yellow, the color of the sun and joy. The last line of the romantic lyrics to Color My World by Chicago says Color my world with hope of loving you. Others do color our world with their energy, attitudes, and love. We do the same. Why would we want to live under anything less than a rainbow?

What color is your world today? How are you coloring the atmosphere of those around you? Let your visual mantra be that 100-crayon box, knowing that every day, you choose your colors. “Show your colors,” we say, and expression that means your true self.

What color are you?

Meditation and Journaling on Coloring

Sit quietly in a meditative posture, whatever one works for you. Have pen and paper nearby.

1. Take three deep breaths. Say “coloring” to yourself. Let it rest on your mind, then let your mind speak. What does the word coloring mean to you? Take plenty of time to let the thoughts form or memories come back to you. Let your memories or thoughts finish speaking. When they are done saying what they have to say, write down their message.

2. Return to meditation. Read this thought, and then sit with it in the silence for as long as it feels right: I will notice the color in my life and take joy in its diversity. I will choose my colors carefully, whether clothing, attitudes, or loyalty.

3. When you come out of meditation, look at what you wrote about “coloring.” Take some time to contemplate it. Carry these thoughts and intentions into your week. Learn as much as possible about your relationship to coloring. Write a few wrap-up notes before the end of the week and our next word.

Have a colorful week!

~~~

Next word: Bother

Photo credits: Crayons © Susiew47 and 7 Chakras Color Wheel with Mandalas © Artellia, both from Dreamstime

Postscript: I'm a permanent mail-in voter. Today I finished my ballot for the Nov. 2 election, and I had a whole new insight about coloring. If I hadn't learned to color between the lines in my coloring books, I'd never be able to fill in those little bubble capsules on my ballot. Here's to early training for future citizens of America! Who knew coloring books were part of civics class?

10 Weeks of Word Oracles - Yesterday

2010-10-21T09:49:00.000-07:00

When it comes to yesterday, there’s a difference between living in the past—and learning from it.

As the quote by Kierkegaard in the Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights masthead says, Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards. Insights rarely come without analysis of patterns in your past. When you “get it” all at once, it’s called an aha moment in the present. It relates to the future, because hopefully you will take what you learned from the past and carry its lessons forward.

That’s why at these crossroads of past, present and future, I recommend that we stop, look both ways, and listen for signs. Those times are magical when past, present and future merge. They allow us to take lessons learned into the future and with them the possibility of new behavior patterns. They are threshold experiences, and our willingness to learn and change from our experience is the essence of growth itself.

But what about when we get stuck in the past and can’t let go of yesterday?

This is #5 in a series of 10 words drawn as oracles, spirited topics to ponder in our Hot/Cool community. Visit the post for Word Oracle #1 (Upper) for background on why we’re playing with words for ten posts.

What to Do When You Can’t Unglue

Whether you’re stuck on an ex, stuck in a job, or stuck in old ways of thinking, it can be murder on the spirit. What can you do to unglue?

We all know the expression, “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.” It’s important to “examine your conscience,” as one of the nuns in my parochial school used to nag us, to see whether or not your rut is fear of the unknown. When we are deeply entrenched, we’ve used up so much energy digging the hole, it’s hard to have enough juice to climb out of it.

But if the problem is only a habit turned ritual turned rut, mere awareness can be a tonic. That’s where the prescription is to do something different—even if it’s “wrong”—even if it’s only an experiment. It doesn’t have to be huge. It can be taking a different route to work, eating a different breakfast cereal, or deciding you won’t leave the house without saying something positive to everyone in your family. Start small. Make mini-changes. Soon the small steps will domino into a more open and adventurous you, free of entrenched habits. It’s all about courting a new habit of openness to the New. You’ll find it’s not so scary. In fact, it’s exhilarating to mix things up a little.

On the other hand, when things are more emotionally based like a relationship or major loss of a job or family member: these are more difficult to let go and may take stronger measures. One of the tricky aspects of the human psyche is how we know intuitively that we have to come to terms with yesterday and our past in order to move on. When we are seriously stuck, we’re just not getting the lessons, opportunities, or insights presented in the loss. That’s why we can’t move forward. Our psyche knows we can’t leave the stuck place until we do, so we stay there. It’s terrible to wait till it’s so painful; we nearly break. Why be miserable. See a counselor, your clergy person, an astrologer, or another consultant or advisor you trust who can help you get from stuck to “getting it.” When I serve in this role in my Inner Growth Work practice, I consider it a sacred trust and am deeply moved by helping others move on. It’s one of the things I live for, because I’ve been there and wish I had someone like me help me before I spend decades mourning a lost relationship that hurt so deeply, I never could move on completely in that area of my life.

Another tip? My friends the flower essences. Flower essences help move emotions to completion. There are flower remedies for being stuck itself (Blackberry by FES), mourning the loss of a love (Bleeding Heart by FES), and being stuck in the past (Honeysuckle by Bach and Healing Herbs). In fact, there's a flower essence to fit nearly every human condition. If you’ve been stuck and long for a boost out of your deep rut, flower essences maybe be something to consider.

Rewriting Your Story

We don’t like to hear it, but many of us enjoy our drama at some level. One of my favorite quotes fits what I want to say next perfectly:

Change your melodrama into a mellow drama.
~ Corita Kent

The ultimate goal is to rewrite yesterday into a positive part of today and tomorrow. My tender heartbreak in my late teens/early 20s was a vehicle for one of the most valuable lessons of my life. I tended toward relationships that had high highs and low lows, laced with both intense pleasure and equally intense pain. I would overlook unkindness, even cruelty—and for sure, very unloving behavior—just to get the highs. It had to hurt enough that I would ultimately understand that I couldn’t allow anyone to mistreat me. No pleasure I worth it! This didn’t just go for “romantic” relationships but carried over to friendships and a vast variety of interactions.

Now I see this pain as one of the greatest teachers of my life and have “rewritten” it as a key experience to make the rest of my life a better story. Recently, I had the pleasure of being on a paranormal panel with a number of other professionals in hypnotherapy, the psychic arts, and identification of unwanted household entities (“ghost busters”). The hypnotherapist and I had a fascinating discussion about past lives, and I am lucky to be privy to several of mine through past life regression. Currently I am facing the emotional fallout from when I was an astrologer in another lifetime where the powers-that-be harmed me physically for “seeing too much.” My colleague has done hundreds of past life regressions and her simple statement is where we all have to start, “Then was then and now is now.”

Hear yesterday’s message, learn from it, and rewrite your tomorrow.

And now for a little journey to help you get started.

Meditation and Journaling on Yesterday

Sit quietly in a meditative posture, whatever one works for you. Have pen and paper nearby.

1. Take three deep breaths. Say “yesterday” to yourself. Let it rest on your mind, then let your mind speak. What does the word yesterday mean to you? Take plenty of time to let the thoughts form or memories come back to you. Let your memories or thoughts finish speaking. When they are done saying what they have to say, write down their message.

2. Return to meditation. Read this thought, and then sit with it in the silence for as long as it feels right: I am thankful for my past and everything I learned from it. I am willing to hear its lessons, bring them into the future in a positive way, and let go of what no longer serves me.

3. When you come out of meditation, look at what you wrote about “yesterday.” What steps will you take to “process the past?” Take some time to contemplate it. Carry these thoughts and intentions into your week. Learn as much as possible about your relationship to yesterday. Write a few wrap-up notes before the end of the week and our next word.

May every yesterday help you weave a better tomorrow.

~~~

Next week’s word: Coloring

Photo Credit: Yesterday and Tomorrow—Two-Way Street Sign © Iqoncept | Dreamstime

10 Weeks of Word Oracles - Drawing

2010-10-10T22:46:00.000-07:00

© 2010 by Joyce Mason
All Rights Reserved

When I free-associate the word drawing, the first thing I think of is doodling and drawing stick people as a kid—and the fact that my artwork has never advanced much from this primitive stage of self-expression. With proper training, I think I might be able to develop some skills in drawing, but I don’t think it’s my medium. Give me words. Why else would I be doing a word oracle? That involves drawing random words?

Welcome to #4 in a series of 10 words drawn as oracles—spirited topics to ponder in our Hot/Cool community. Visit the post for Word Oracle #1 (Upper) for background on why we’re playing with words for ten posts.

Back to the drawing board. Let's make a rule that we don't have to stick with the form of the word drawn, in this case the gerund drawing with its ing that I want to lop off--sometimes. When we also allow variations, some other ways the word is used include:

• The luck of the draw
• Drawing up water
• A weekly draw (salary)
• A drawing, the artwork that results from drawing as an act of creation
• Drawing (closing) the drapes
• Drawing a card in a game of chance
• Drawing and quartering, an ancient form of torture
• To look drawn (tired or stressed)
• Something being long and drawn out
• Drawing something or someone to you

The root word, draw, is versatile! It ranges from expressing random good fortune, to bringing money in terms of salary, to being an act of creativity or destruction, to taking too long, and to making someone look pooped.

It never ceases to amaze me that in a language with so many words, English words can still be so versatile with multiple meanings within each one. According to the folks at the Oxford Dictionary:

The Second Edition of the 20-volume Oxford English Dictionary contains full entries for 171,476 words in current use, and 47,156 obsolete words. To this may be added around 9,500 derivative words included as subentries. Over half of these words are nouns, about a quarter adjectives, and about a seventh verbs; the rest is made up of exclamations, conjunctions, prepositions, suffixes, etc. And these figures don't take account of entries with senses for different word classes (such as noun and adjective).

Drawing Your Good

In the post Your Cosmic Tractor Beam, I talked about how being yourself in your true energy field draws people to you like a magnet who are on a similar frequency. This applies to all good in your life. You draw people and things to you because of how you think and what you say.

For example, you might want to erase words like poor, broke, and even “I don’t have the money to” from your vocabulary. Those dictionary statistics just quoted give some sense of the huge volume of word choices we have in the English language. To keep prosperity flowing your way, substitute things like “I have higher priorities right now” or when you “can’t afford” something. It’s also the truth. When you have x amount of money to spend, you prioritize how you spend it. That dreamy spiritual retreat to Hawaii may be farther down the list than your bank balance can cover. By resisting the common expression “I can’t afford it,” you’re leaving open the possibility that your bank balance may expand to encompass it. Most people who study metaphysics learn early on the power of the “I” statement, especially the “I am” statement. I am broke is the worst thing you can ever say, if you want to keep your material or any other needs fulfilled easily.

Another principle to remember when you want to draw a great relationship, the right business partner, or more prosperity is to simply and clearly state your intentions then leave the methods for making it so up to Spirit. Here’s where I am can work in your favor. Affirmations like I am manifesting the best relationship for me now or I am drawing all I need for my material good can go far.

A caution with affirmations, however. They are not meant to be pop sound bytes like we’ve learned to eat like consumer bonbons from TV.

Affirmations need to be built on a two-step process to be highly effective, described in the post Affirmations: Part 2, Column 2.

Drawing a Blank

If there’s more to say on this word, I’m drawing a blank as another expression and use of the word goes. That must mean it’s time for us to invite a “blank mind” for drawing imagines on “drawing” in our word meditation.

Meditation and Journaling on Drawing

Sit quietly in a meditative posture, whatever one works for you. Have pen and paper nearby.

1. Take three deep breaths. Say “drawing” to yourself. Let it rest on your mind, then let your mind speak. What does the word drawing suggest to you? Take plenty of time to let the thoughts form or memories come back to you. Let your memories or thoughts finish speaking. When they are done saying what they have to say, write down their message.

2. Return to meditation. Read this thought, and then sit with it in the silence for as long as it feels right: I am thankful for all the insights I drew from meditating on the word drawing.

3. Now let’s focus for a moment on the meaning of drawing that involves drawing good to us: I am grateful for ___. (Make as long a list in your mind as you want.) I will increase my ability to draw good to me by doing the following ___________.

4. When you come out of meditation, look at what you wrote about “drawing” and how you’ll create an ongoing flow of drawing good to you. Take some time to contemplate it. Carry these thoughts and intentions into your week. Learn as much as possible about your relationship to drawing. Write a few wrap-up notes before the end of the week and our next word.

May you draw everything you need, most of what you want, and a few pleasant surprises!

~~~

Next word: Yesterday

Photo credit: Cartoon stick figure © Martin Bérubé Dreamstime.com

Dollar Days! No Soliciting Signs and E-Book Sale

2010-10-05T18:32:00.000-07:00

Dear Cool Insighters,

The No Soliciting Sign and It’s a Sign: No Soliciting, Religion and Religious Literature Included remain the two most visited posts ever on Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights! According to Google Analytics, most people find them searching for key words, particularly “no soliciting religion” or variations of that phrase.

Yet sales of the no soliciting signs I developed as a result of this outpouring have been meager. This leads me to the conclusion that price an issue, especially in the current economy. As much as I’d like to give them away, I created the signs with a professional graphic artist and development costs need to be considered in their sale.

So, join me in an experiment! When I was a kid growing up in Chicago, this was called a “bargain basement sale.” Until further notice, No Soliciting signs will be $1 each or $1.50 for both. The sign files are delivered to you ready to print by e-mail in a JPG attachment. See photos of signs and details here. All you have to do is color print on paper or cardstock and frame. If you use one of the inexpensive document frames at a Dollar Store, this is a very economical option for a polite and artistically pleasing way to hang a “do not disturb sign” at your doorbell.

My husband and I have found people to be very respectful of the sign unless they happened to “miss” seeing it. Even then, pointing to it with a simple, “Have you seen our sign?” does the trick. Framing one of these signs for a friend who mentions they get too many door-to-door callers is also a great early holiday gift tip, even before this year’s Fairy Godmother post!

New prices are reflected in the sidebar where you can purchase the signs. You can also purchase them on my website under Spirited Products.

While I was at it, I decided to not to “let the buck stop here” and added The Training Tape to the $1 sale.

I hope these bargain basement prices bring you peace (not getting up to answer the door a dozen times a year is worth a buck!). And I hope The Training Tape leaves you thinking.

Blessings All,
Joyce

PS - The Word Oracle series will be back next week!

A Stroke of Luck: The Power of the Wake-Up Call

2010-10-02T14:48:00.001-07:00

I thought we’d take a short break from the Word Oracles this week so I could update you on what’s happened since my husband’s stroke last May. I wrote about it in Shocking. Few things in recent memory have held more surprises and cool insights in the end. How far we’ve come from that scary moment when Tim tripped, fell on the floor, and was suddenly unable to move!

Tim’s initial recovery had the usual suspects after four days in the hospital—physical therapy, increased medical visits, and blood thinners. (He was already on the meds because of the plaque build-up in his arteries and a stent procedure a week before his mini-stroke.) In the beginning, he was on a four-point walker wherever he went. I had to get used to driving us everywhere—often. He was still having falls, somewhat slurred speech and experiencing significant imbalance. The hospital arranged for a Hoyer lift, a kind of hoisting device, in case he couldn’t get up without help, as I certainly am not strong enough to lift a grown man on my own. (Our chubbier cat is a challenge!)

The emotional recovery was a different breed of cat all together. Being thrown into 24/7 caretaker mode sent my feelings of worry and resentment into overdrive. The fear that I could have lost him, coupled with what I felt he wasn’t doing to help himself, brought many issues in our relationship to a turning point. I was not willing to go on as things were—or as I saw they could be headed— without significant changes on his part. And I knew there were changes I had to make, too.

The details of how we got from there to here are personal and actually unimportant. With some outside intervention and a lot of “discussions” and soul baring, a miracle happened. Things shifted, not just emotionally but physically. Getting there wasn’t half the fun.

Some of the learning was painful and didn’t even involve each other. After I confided my challenges to her, I had to draw a boundary with a friend whose comments about my marriage and Tim’s health felt hurtful and not life affirming toward my husband or me. Telling my truth has led to estrangement, although I still dearly care about this person. The incident also made clear that a break from one another would be good medicine. I need to let this lie for now. That’s difficult for a “fixer” who wants to be at peace with everyone.

But I also got something out of it that’s even more powerful in retrospect. By saying no to someone else’s negative picture of my marriage and my husband’s health, I said no to that picture for myself. I wasn’t lukewarm about it, either. I was clear and direct in saying that I refused that vision for my future. I made it clear; no one else has my permission to project that picture on me, either.

That painful interaction with my friend and my “pushing back” was a huge blessing in disguise. I am grateful to her. Just saying no to negative forecasts may have been a bigger step than I knew I was taking at the time. Tim has come back to life after years of struggle with a mixed bag of medical conditions. He changed one of his major doctors to learn from his new one that he was being seriously overmedicated for some of his conditions—possibly contributing to ongoing and problematic symptoms. His legs are stronger than before the stroke, and he hasn’t fallen in months, despite his baseline mobility issues with Myotonic muscular dystrophy Type 2. He’s back on a cane from the walker, and he navigates the house without either. There are other improvements so pronounced; I feel like I’m living with a new man.

We keep scratching our heads, wondering with thanks and awe how Tim can be doing so much better than he was before his stroke. Since the blood thinners prevent both plaque build-up in his arteries and stroke, perhaps they are in great part the hero. He started on Plavix only two weeks before the “stroke of luck,” as I’ve come to call it. I also call it his “neurological reorganization.” Without the stroke, there is so much we would not have known and so many important steps in a chain reaction of healing that would have never taken place. Who knew I’d be thankful one day for something that started out so awful?

Tim, too, made a decision to toss that dismal picture of his future out of his mental album. The thought that we might lose each other was potent medicine for both of us. It’s hard to imagine today that we were in such a difficult place only 3-4 months ago. We’re more in love and grateful for each other than ever. The ordeal brought us closer together and to the most important orientation of a successful relationship, when both people are looking in the same direction.

There’s an old song, “What a Difference a Day Makes.” The difference comes from how we handle whatever circumstances life presents us for learning. While Tim and I don’t know what the future holds for us, I’m confident that we will navigate whatever we encounter…

… because now we’re co-captains on the S.S. True Partnership.

~~~

Photo Credit: Alarm Clock © Robyn Mackenzie Dreamstime.com

10 Weeks of Word Oracles - Slice

2010-09-27T18:21:00.000-07:00

© 2010 by Joyce Mason
All Rights Reserved

No matter how you slice it, slice is a great word for us to chew on for cool insights! Welcome to #3 in a series of 10 words drawn as oracles—spirited topics to ponder drawn just for our Hot/Cool community. Visit the post for Word Oracle #1 (Upper) for the history on what we’re doing at this wordfest and why.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but slice is a very good word for me, personally. I have issues with slice. I alluded to them somewhat in talking about the word upper. Auntie Mame is my heroine, and to me, “Life’s a banquet.” I have a great deal of difficulty limiting myself to a single slice of anything. I have a lusty appetite for food--and live with the health and weight challenges that go along with it. Same goes for most everything else in life. I couldn’t limit myself to one blog. (Now I have three.) Until two of them passed on, I had four pets. You get the picture. Overdo is my middle name.

Unfortunately, one of the side effects of overdo for most of us leads me to another word, overwhelm. Slice is actually an antidote to it.

Slice is like the joke, “How do you eat an elephant?” Answer: A bit at a time.

My office often looks like a total disaster area. I hate working in chaos, even if creativity springs from chaos itself. Still, the enormity of the job to get organized just leaves me with eyes glazed over, my visual orbs a pair of vortexes that are not exactly the white tornados of cleaning solutions. When I can do the job in slices, a piece at a time, I actually get something accomplished. Slice. What a concept!

Then there is the literary form, a slice of life.

slice of life

An episode of actual experience represented realistically and with little alteration in a dramatic, fictional, or journalistic work. ~ Free Online Dictionary

Since memoir writing is one of my strongest genres and my own life has given me plenty of slices to share, I’ll serve up an episode from my Pie of Life. This is the one my intuition told me to tell you.

Thanks But No Thanks

I’m a teenager, and I’m the lucky family member with garbage duty this particular night. Our small house has a postage-stamp sized backyard, and behind that is a garage. A long sidewalk runs beside the house and garage, and the garbage cans are located at the end of the walk, against the garage, where the walk intersects with an alley.

It’s autumn and gets dark early in the suburbs of Chicago. I am hugging my big plastic trash bag, carrying it down the walk by outdoor light, which is rather dim. I’m humming a tune to myself, thinking of some boy I have a crush on. I look up about half-way to the goal and see a man lurking by the garbage cans.

I scream! The trash bag flies straight up in the air, a good four feet, as I reverse directions on a dime and run to the back door, yodeling the whole way like my fanny is on fire. I don’t stop screaming when I get there.

Dad comes rushing to the kitchen where I’m now standing, still screaming. “What in the h— is wrong?” my father demands. I can barely stop screaming long enough to say, “Man—by garbage cans.”

Dad goes out there with a big honking flashlight, the beacon kind you take with you camping. He inspects and investigates. Of course, he finds nothing.

“I can’t see a damned thing,” he pronounces.

I insist that I am not imagining it—that there was someone lurking there.

Hw silly does this sound? He could have been a neighbor tossing a soda can in the nearest trash receptacle while walking down the alley from his own garage. Yet, somehow, I knew he was sinister—and my high-drama, Italian mother believed me.

She called the police, and they knew before they even investigated that they wouldn’t find him or anything suspicious; however, they share with my mom that there have been complaints in the neighborhood about a guy exposing himself. How did I know that? All I saw was the shadow of a man. I didn’t even see the shadow of his—uh—“exposure.”

Now, nearly 50 years later, I’m still chuckling over this scenario, which wasn’t so funny to me at the time. My psychic radar started very young, and believe me, I’m always into prevention. There was a slice of this guy I did not want to see!

Meditation and Journaling on Slice

Sit quietly in a meditative posture, whatever one works for you. Have pen and paper nearby.

1. Take three deep breaths. Say “slice” to yourself. Let it rest on your mind, then let your mind respond. What does this word mean to you? Take plenty of time to let the thoughts form or memories come back to you. Let them finish speaking. When they are done saying what they have to say, write down their message.

2. Return to meditation. Read this thought, and then sit with it in the silence for as long as it feels right: I am thankful for the ability to tackle life a slice at a time. When I am overwhelmed, I respond by imagining the natural slices into which I can break food, projects, feelings, and other larger forms.

3. When you come out of meditation, look at what you wrote about “slice.” Take some time to contemplate it. Carry these thoughts into your week. Learn as much as possible about your relationship to slice. Write a few wrap-up notes before the end of the week and our next word.

May this batch of word oracles, broken into ten slices, bring you some good “slice of life stories” and a new appreciation for savoring life itself one slice, bite, and morsel at a time.

~~~

Next week’s word: Drawing

Photo credit: Pizza Slice © Danee79 Dreamstime.com

Reader Feedback Wanted: Let me know your thoughts on the Word Oracle series in the Comments or by e-mail.

10 Weeks of Word Oracles - Fall

2010-09-20T06:12:00.000-07:00

© 2010 by Joyce Mason
All Rights Reserved

Fall is one of the more versatile words in the English language! Just off the top of my head, it can mean any of the following:

• My favorite season, autumn, which also has falling leaves, where I assume it got this nickname.

• Fall as in “go boom” or splat on the floor or ground. Not as pretty, unless it’s a pretty girl fallen in fall leaves, like in the one in the picture in this post.

• “The Fall” – The Bibilical fall of man when Adam and Eve disobeyed divine direction and ate of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil

• Water that cascades off tall rocks down to a river or rivulet

• A fake woman’s hairpiece

• In astrology, a planet is “in fall” when it is in the sign opposite where it is considered exalted. Example from my own chart: Mars is considered exalted in Capricorn; mine is in the opposite sign, Cancer, therefore it’s in fall. I’ve never found this concept very useful. It implies there’s something wrong with my planet that’s in fall. I actually like my Mars in Cancer that’s action-oriented toward making comfortable surroundings for people, and as much as possible, making family of everyone.

Welcome to #2 in a series of 10 words drawn as oracles—spirited topics to ponder drawn just for our Hot/Cool community. Visit the post for Word Oracle #1 (Upper) for the history on why we’re playing with words for ten posts.

Let’s focus on Fall as Autumn—the season we enter on September 22!

First, I want to share with you an autumn “astrologize” I wrote for Spirited Woman blog. Astrologizes are exercises, rituals, or activities to celebrate the changing seasons as the Sun moves through each of the signs of the zodiac. Four times a year, we reach the seasonal cusps. Spring occurs as the Sun enters Aries; summer starts with Cancer; Libra initiates autumn, and Capricorn heralds winter. This "astrologize" for autumn has to do with expressing our gratitude for the harvest of our blessings.

If you don’t have time to do the gratitude box suggested in the astrologize post, let’s take five to do a combo meditation on gratitude and the word “fall.” All truths will be revealed in our oracle word and the Hot Flashbacks alternative to the astrologize combined!

Meditation and Journaling on Fall

Sit quietly in a meditative posture, whatever one works for you. Have pen and paper nearby.

Take three deep breaths. Say “fall” to yourself. Let it rest on your mind, then let your mind speak. What does the word fall mean to you? Take plenty of time to let the thoughts form or memories come back to you. Let your memories or thoughts finish speaking. When they are done saying what they have to say, write down their message.
Return to meditation. Read this thought, and then sit with it in the silence for as long as it feels right: I am thankful for my reverie on “fall” and everything I learned from it.
Now let’s focus for a moment on fall as autumn, the season of gratitude: I am grateful for ___. (Make as long a list in your mind as you want.) I will practice living gratefully every day by doing the following ___________.
When you come out of meditation, look at what you wrote about “fall” and how you’ll create an ongoing attitude of gratitude—a thankfulness practice. Take some time to contemplate it. Carry these thoughts and intentions into your week. Learn as much as possible about your relationship to fall. Write a few wrap-up notes before the end of the week and our next word.

May every fall down help you look up with a different perspective. May every season of gratitude bring you more in your cornucopia and a longer list of blessings.

~~~

Next week’s word: Slice

Photo credit: Young Woman in Fall Leaves © Pinkcandy Dreamstime

Reader Feedback Wanted: Let me know your thoughts on the Word Oracle series.

10 Weeks of Word Oracles: Upper

2010-09-12T17:11:00.000-07:00

© 2010
by Joyce Mason
All Rights Reserved

Welcome to #1 of 10 in a new series on Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights. It was inspired by one of the many books I inherited from my birth mom, Helen. A Gemini, Helen left behind a library that’s eclectic and highly spiritual. The book that caught my eye while I was dusting “her” shelf is called The Book of Qualities by J. Ruth Gendler. The author has made one-page meditations or thought pieces on various human qualities such as power, pleasure, contentment, change, and complacency.

This got me thinking about our playground on this blog for working with symbols, oracles, and the other cosmic hints we look Up for. I knew about random word generators online.

I decided I’d “draw” ten words for us—ten words that would tweak my intuitive skills for insights that would hit home for my readers. It was like drawing a handful of words in a fortune cookie for the readers of Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights.

Let’s get started!

Upper—Unzipped

A state of high emotions, one of the best things anyone has ever said to me is, “You’re an upper.” A very ‘70s expression related to the drug culture, an “upper” was a kind of pill that made you high—different from tranquilizers and other “downers.”

Ultimately, an upper has become a term that often denotes a natural high. People, places, things—all can be an upper. Up is fun! It’s buzzy. It’s happy. It’s exuberant and sometimes caffeinated. It’s rollercoasters and risk-taking.

Other Uppers

A familiar vacuum commercial called its product “the quicker picker-upper.” You can pick up, stay up, or look Up. The last is another kind of Upper that works for me in my role as docent for a troupe of spiritual explorers. My original slogan for my astrology-plus practice was:

Do you ever raise your eyes to heaven, asking, “How about a hint?” Astrology is the hint and the heavens are the right Source.

I want to be an Upper. A Look Upper. Someone who seeks guidance from the highest source and vantage points.

Up—and Counter Up

The problem with up is its counterpoint—down. The higher you get, the longer the fall. Through my forties, I still liked high drama, especially the high part. I loved intense people, places, and things—and if I wasn’t feeling everything at a high pitch, it didn’t work for me. Over time, my roller coaster life was exhausting, and the long falls hurt. I quit riding actual roller coasters in my teens. It took me till midlife to give up the figurative type, the roller coaster of Desperately Seeking Uppers.

Now I like to skate in the middle between up and down, often well above the midline, but don’t much like living right on the edge. I still enjoy those delicious peaks at times, but more like caviar, not like before, better described as insisting on eating caviar as breakfast cereal. I realize it’s crazy to try to live in a constantly excited state. Letting go of uppers in the extreme was a good thing for me. That leads me to the final segment, offering you your own meditation and journaling exercise on our word for the week. Ten minutes, ten times—voilà! You’ve got a personal book of insights and instructions. Set aside a special journal book or computer file for your oracular explorations.

Meditation and Journaling on Upper

Sit quietly in a meditative posture, whatever one works for you. Have pen and paper nearby.

1. Take three deep breaths. Say “upper” to yourself. Let it rest on your mind, then let your mind respond. What does this word mean to you? Take plenty of time to let the thoughts form or memories come back to you. Let them finish speaking. When they are done saying what they have to say, write down their message.

2. Return to meditation. Read this thought, and then sit with it in the silence for as long as it feels right: I am thankful for the highs in life, but I’m also thankful for the lows. Without the valley, we can’t appreciate the mountain. Life has its ups and downs, and I navigate them with energy and style.

3. When you come out of meditation, look at what you wrote about “upper.” Take some time to contemplate it. Carry these thoughts into your week. Learn as much as possible about your relationship to upper. Write a few wrap-up notes before the end of the week and our next word.

May these ten weeks of words chosen just for you be—an upper!

~~~

Next week’s word: Fall

Photo credit: Roller Coaster © Grisho Dreamstime

You’ll Be “Dying for a Date” with Cindy Sample

2010-09-06T18:27:00.000-07:00

With “spirited living” as its goal, the subject matter on Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights runs a broad spectrum from spirituality to anything that lifts our spirits and makes us lighter.

Nothing lifts spirits like laughter—and nothing is more healing! We may as well call humor “weight lifting.” Today instead of focusing on the mysteries of life, we’re having a play date and a mystery of another kind—the cloak and dagger variety.

Cindy Sample is a Northern California author I’ve had the joy of getting to know through our Capitol Crimes writing group, our local chapter of Sisters in Crime. Cindy’s first novel, Dying for a Date, has just come out. I wanted to share her new book with you.

Joyce: Cindy, tell us how you became a writer. Did you know early on? Who inspired you?

Cindy: I began reading at age four and when I started reading Nancy Drew books at the age of six, I was hooked. In third grade, I took a list of spelling words and in three hours turned them into a sixteen page Nancy Drew opus. I knew I always wanted to be a mystery writer but life in the form of marriage, career, two children and then divorce intervened, so my next literary masterpiece, Dying for a Date, didn't get produced until 50 years later.

Joyce: Your protagonist, Laurel McKay, is a complex character—a divorced, kid-chauffering professional, who has returned to the dating scene. How did she evolve, and what are the built-in comedic conflicts in her character?

Cindy: My protaganoist, Laurel McKay is a newly divorced mother of two children, 16-year-old Jenna and seven- year-old Ben. She works as a mortgage underwriter at “Hangtown Bank” in Placerville. She married her high school sweetheart who was the only man she ever dated. When her best friend talks her into joining a dating agency, she wonders what she’s getting into and what is she looking for? Does she want an escort or a husband? Is she really looking for Mr. Right or just Mr. Every Other Saturday Night?

As far as comic elements, just trying to decide what to wear on date night provides plenty of material. When you incorporate raising two children along with a new kitten, I had enough of my own maternal experiences to entertain readers for all 272 pages.

Mothers always feel guilty that they aren’t perfect, but I think single moms in particular have to juggle their career with their children’s needs. When you add in the dating aspect, it complicates things even more. I wanted to write a story that not only had elements of a murder mystery, but a series that introduced a sympathetic protagonist who is dealing with everyday realities, complicated by a few dead bodies, of course.

I learned early in my career that a sense of humor can get you through most situations. And even today, when something goes wrong, my first thought is usually how I’ll turn it into an entertaining story. Laurel’s sense of humor and realistic approach to her life is prevalent throughout the book.

Joyce: Obviously, we want to avoid spoilers, but can you give us a blurb about the basic plot?

Cindy: Laurel reluctantly gets talked into joining a dating agency called “The Love Club,” which is advertised as the safe alternative to online dating. The first guy she goes out to dinner with attempts to have her for dessert, and she hits him with a cell phone. I created a new verb for that episode when she “nokias” him. When another date disappears during dinner, and her only alibi is a friendly bottle of Dom Perignon, the investigating detective has to decide if the sassy soccer mom is the killer or the next target.

Joyce: You have some of the most enticing promo lines I’ve ever read, such as:

Homicide, humor, and a few heart palpitations combine to make “Dying for a Date” your summer hammock reading.

I also love the description, “She dips her toe into the dating pool and ends up in a tsunami-sized murder investigation.” Anyone who has returned to the dating scene as an adult probably has some cringe-worthy material that could fill a volume. How did dating in real life influence your book?

Cindy: I will admit my dating experiences have provided me with enough material to write at least eight volumes of Dying for a Date, although I personally haven’t maimed anyone. Fortunately for me, most of my experiences have been delightful. There was one guy who tried to impress me with the fact that his best friend was an assassin. That was one of my shorter dates. But the stories that some of my dates have shared with me are truly stranger than the things I make up.

Joyce: Knowing Nancy Drew and Agatha Christie were two of your earliest influences, what made you decide to camp it up and spend more time on the light and cozy side of mystery?

Cindy: Within the mystery genre, there are so many different types of storytellers. I read and hear enough about the dark side of life through the news and my daily paper. One of my goals was to provide an entertaining mystery, a book which provided clues and red herrings to engage those readers who love to play armchair detective, but also to have them enjoy the humor we all encounter in our daily lives. My fans are comparing me to Janet Evanovich and her laugh-out-loud humor. One woman read the book in one sitting and said her granddaughter kept checking on her to make sure she was okay because she was laughing so hard the tears were streaming down her face.

Joyce: I’m a huge Poirot fan, and he certainly has his comedic moments, especially in the British TV series adaptations of Christie’s novels. The other regular characters—Inspector Japp, Miss Lemon, and Poirot’s sidekick, Captain Hastings—put Poirot’s quirks in a hilarious light by the way they bounce off the personalities of the ensemble cast. Tell us a little bit about the cast of characters in your book and the way they “ping” off each other for comic effect.

Cindy: There are so many entertaining characters in Dying for a Date. Laurel’s mother is particularly engaging since she is the opposite of her daughter. Barbara Bingham is a perfectionist, a real estate broker, who is very critical of her daughter. She is worried that all of these dead bodies will impact her real estate sales, so she and Laurel team up to solve the murders. Their conversations are hilarious and readers can relate to the mother/daughter dynamic.

Laurel’s best friend, Liz, is a bawdy Brit who owns a spa and who had her own entertaining dating adventures before she met her fiancé through the Love Club. Liz and Stan, a gay co-worker, at Hangtown Bank, are two zany companions who can’t wait to assist Laurel in her detecting.

And of course, there is the handsome homicide detective. What exactly are his intentions?

Joyce: It’s every author’s dream to sell the rights to her book and have it made into a movie. Who would play Laurel & Company?

Cindy: Tina Fey (with a little extra padding). As for the mother – why fool around. I say Meryl Streep.

Joyce: Great casting! I’m dying for a date with this book, myself! Tell us where we can buy it.

Cindy: In Sacramento, you can purchase it at Book Lovers Bookstore or the Avid Reader. In El Dorado County, Dying for a Date is sold at Placerville News Company, the El Dorado Arts Council, and Cornerstone Café in Cameron Park. The trade paperback and the ebook are available on Amazon and Barnes&Noble.com and as an ebook on Fictionwise and Mobipocket.

Joyce: Any parting comments or thoughts? Advice to the writers in the Hot Flashbacks readership?

Cindy: Whether you’re interested in pursuing a career in writing or pursuing a romantic relationship, just go out there and do it. Too many people I meet are afraid of rejection, and they are waiting for the world to come to them. I’ve been rejected by publishers and by men, and it has not stopped me from enjoying life. Take a chance and you’ll be thrilled with the new friends you’ll meet and the adventures that may be in store for you. I’ve been on a wonderful journey, and I can’t wait to see what else is in store for me.

Thank you, Joyce, for letting me share my thoughts today.

Joyce: Cindy, I want to thank you for accepting a date to appear on Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights. You’ve given us an oasis of “light” and the potential for hours more of the same with your new book. Best of luck with it! I’m already seeing it catch fire and look forward to reading your books to follow.

~~~

Although Cindy Sample’s initial dream was to be a mystery author, she quickly realized the necessity of a weekly paycheck. Putting aside her literary longings, she applied for a job as a receptionist with a real estate office. Her career eventually led to President of a national mortgage banking company.

After one too many corporate mergers, Cindy decided it was more fun to plot murder than plod through paperwork. Her books are set in Placerville, California, the gold country town formerly known as “Hangtown”.

Cindy writes a monthly column entitled Hot Flash for the Gold River Community Newspaper. She is a past president of the Sacramento chapter of Sisters in Crime and has served on the boards of the YWCA, Sacramento Opera, and CMBA, the California Mortgage Bankers Association. She is co-chair of the Left Coast Crime Convention, which will be held in Sacramento in 2012. Visit her website at http://www.cindysamplebooks.com/.

Raccoon Medicine ~ Part 2

2010-08-31T15:19:00.000-07:00

Thanks to those of you whose have followed my heartbreaking story about our dying oak and how its removal displaced the raccoon family living in it. Between my knee acting up and Tim’s ongoing mobility issues, it’s hard for either of us to get down to the greenbelt below our house on a ravine to check things out firsthand. Our neighbor Ken, who has been harvesting the wood, has been giving us the ongoing raccoon report.

We left 4-5 feet of tree stump up to allow time for the raccoons to relocate. It took the tree service a couple of weeks to get back to remove the remainder. (We waited to call till the raccoons cleared out.) It was difficult to see the raccoon completely that had died, as it was deep in the stump in a place that could not be accessed before removing more of the wood around it.

Good news/bad news depending on how you look at it. It was not one of the adult raccoons that died, but rather one of the babies—and, blessedly, it was not by the saws. It appeared he or she died naturally.

I thought this was particularly poignant to learn right after I posted Incubation/Hatching, where I discussed how not all eggs hatch or make it into the world.

Once more, the raccoons provide an amazing punctuation to my learning. Now I’ll have to go sit with myself and figure out which of my eggs are not supposed to hatch—and quit sitting on them.

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your healing words, because this incident “got to me” so deeply.

~~~

Photo Credit: THE RACCOON by Vladvitek Dreamstime.com

Incubation/Hatching

2010-08-28T11:22:00.000-07:00

© 2010 by Joyce Mason

This is the third in a series of posts that discuss the relationship between humans and the Bigger Plan. In Karmic Relationships: The Great Flow Charters in the Sky, I addressed my ideas about how reincarnation works and the complexity of getting multiple characters together to work out sometimes rather convoluted scenarios to balance the ledger on past-unfinished business. This is literal if you believe in reincarnation. But in our many lives within a life, thanks to fast-paced modern society, these principles can sometimes refer to meet-ups in different eras of the same lifetime.

Next, in Dis-appointment, I presented a concept of a divine calendar that doesn’t always match with ours and sometimes blessedly removes us from danger. It can be the equivalent of being Touched by an Angel, who diverts you from a romance or job that might end in an emotional car wreck. You might wonder if God Knows What She’s Doing at the time. You are often not happy with the detour.

Now I want to address another aspect of our relationship to the divine, when it comes to direction, time and timing. It involves incubation, the time needed for a project or relationship to “cook” before it’s ready to emerge from its egg as a Baby Whatever It’s Going to Be. As you can see by the look on the face of this chick, getting there isn’t always half the fun!

Set Goals, But Sit in Silence Listening for Changes in Direction

Here’s where East/West, yin/yang, and a complementary blending of the best of both worlds is ideal for optimal manifestations. I’m all for being goal oriented, including making commitments such as, “I will publish my book by October 1, 2010.” However, to take only a target date into consideration and the sheer dint of your will is true folly. There can be a myriad of reasons why something might need further incubation … and if you listen closely to the whispers of the divine all around you, you’ll know when further gestation is necessary.

For instance, the example in the paragraph above refers literally to my poetry book in the middle of production. I kept dragging my feet; I couldn’t figure out why. I decided one poem had to be pulled, even though it’s one of the most powerful, because I felt the language was too sexually explicit. When most of these poems were written in the 1970s, there was a lot looser cultural norm about language. I’m just not comfortable with it now, even though I’d read it to my best friends in private.

When I couldn’t light a fire under myself to finish this nearly done task—still—I waited around to find out what else I had to fix. That’s when I realized that there had to be a poem about Garry, my dear friend and hairdresser that I wrote about in Bartenders, Beauticians and Baristas. I did that. If that doesn’t clear the logjam, I’ll wait awhile longer and ask for help in my dreams and meditations.

Settled Mud

We often joke when we’re not clear about something, “It’s as clear as mud.” A wise man asks good questions. Ask yourself in any incubating project or situation the questions in the classic Chinese text, the Tao Te Ching, attributed to the sage author Lao Tzu:

Do you have the patience to wait until your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving until right action arises by itself? ~Tao Te Ching

Here’s where the Western mind dulls and our eyes glaze over. We are so unused to the concept of sitting with something until the time is right. (In the case of literal incubation, that would be sitting on.) In my placeholder post announcing the launch of Stitched Verse, my new poetry blog, I quoted a more modern literary version of this idea from Robert Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land: “Waiting is fullness.”

Unfortunately, many things in life don’t have a predictable gestation cycle like the one leading to human birth, which seldom varies from nine months. Human gestation carries signs of progress, like an ever-enlarging belly. Then, one day, close to the nine-month mark, the water breaks and the hour is imminent. Especially in the more subtle areas of life like relationships or creative projects, there are no meat thermometers declaring them cooked or timers that go off and say, it’s done—ready to go. Send the baby out into the world.

Department of the Interior

Here’s where we have to rely on inner barometers, self-knowledge, and the ability to be both gentle and tough with ourselves. Are you dragging your feet because of some fear? If yes, find it and address it. While that’s often easier said than done, it’s totally do-able. If you can’t identify your stumbling block alone, that’s what friends—and sometimes counselors—are for.

If that’s not it, something may be alerting you to intuitive timing factors. My dearest friend often tells me I have an impeccable sense of timing. This is wrapped up closely with my sizable intuition and often runs counter to what I really want to do in my busy Western mind.

Another example: In 1996 after creating a pilgrimage of people from around the world to Greece for an astrological event, I was at the peak of my career as an astrologer. Everything was going my way. I was becoming well known for my astrological specialty, my part-time practice was thriving to the point that I could see its becoming full-time, if I chose …

… but God/dess would not have it. I was given clear inner direction to put astrology on the back burner at the peak of the wave.

Little did I know then that later in the year, I’d reconnect with my childhood sweetheart and begin a relationship that would lead to marriage—plus all the complexities of merging two very single people in one place, one of them from several states away. Even though I wasn’t the one to relocate, my life was topsy- turvy with making these transitions for several years. Once more, divine direction was right direction.

“Don’t Count Your Chickens Before They’re Hatched”

I have always gotten a bang out of this saying, which reminds us that not all seeds make it to fruition; no matter how much we want to assume it’s so. You might start with five eggs, but maybe only three will hatch.

So it is with our ideas, projects, relationships and all other creations. A natural weeding process occurs in nature. The strongest survive. The same goes for the metaphorical seedlings and eggs in our lives.

As humans on a spiritual journey, we are often left to Inquire Within on whether we should continue to incubate certain creations. I think the biggest hurdle is learning to trust that inner wisdom and sage direction that comes from inside us.

Once I started looking back (hot flashbacks), I could see the clear track record of better outcomes through following these signs. Whatever way you perceive the Ultimate Creativity, God/dess is a good egg. After all, s/he hatched every one of us. We made the cut. The rest is Up to us.

~~~

Photo Credit: Lonely chicken hatching © Ekaterinas Dreamstime.com

Dis-Appointment

2010-08-21T00:21:00.000-07:00

© 2010 by Joyce Mason

Disappointment leaves us sad that something we looked forward to—maybe even longed for—did not occur. It can be a relationship, a fun get-together, or a goal we didn’t achieve, like getting a promotion. We expect people to act a certain way. They don’t. Disappointment.

Yet, in the Great Calendar in the Sky (it goes along with the Great Flow Charters in the Sky from the last post), the dis-appointment might be better for us. We just don’t know it yet. We had an “appointment” in our own minds with a set destiny. God/Goddess/All That Is had other ideas. The cosmic appointment calendar trumps our own. Sometimes we just don’t see the big picture, thinking our Day Runner, Franklin Planner, or the PDA in our minds knows best, like our mothers. Our own calendars are right about as often as mom is about “what’s good for us.”

I’ll share my most dramatic example. When I reunited with Keane, the great lost love of my life (the one who took me decades to get over), he tried to get a transfer to my city, which shocked me. I was startled that after our first long weekend together in 18 years, he’d actually make an effort to be near me on an ongoing basis. What shocked me even further was a dream I had while he was still in competition for the position. I heard this clear, psychic message, “There’s no way he won’t get it.”

Assuming the best and definitely wanting him to move to Sacramento, I was stunned when someone else got the offer. That’s when I realized that my wishful thinking punctuated the dream message according to my desired outcome.(There’s no way getting it won’t happen.) What my inner wisdom was really saying in the dream: “There’s no way. (Punctuation—period.) He won’t get it.”

Disappointing Godsends

In the three decades I spent recovering from Keane, I learned something about myself. My early relationships were agony/ecstasy, enmeshed with a mixture of high highs and low lows. Pleasure and pain were so closely bound together, I truly believed I had to endure twice or more pain for any love I got. Not exactly good programming for healthy relationships.

Had I stayed with Keane from our earliest encounters (ages 18-22) or even had the opportunity to be with him again at age 40 on an ongoing basis, the basic facts of our chemistry would not change. Our pull toward one another was always bigger than the both of us, but he was terrible for me. I would have bent over backwards trying to make it work for the fun and the intense chemistry—and my actual, unabashed love for him. But we’re simply too different. He had a side, at least back-when, that was very punishing—one my sensitive soul could have never endured in the long run (and I wonder how it ever did in the short run. I guess if it took so many years to come to stasis about him, it didn’t).

I have often thanked God that there was a bigger force that kept me from going Round 2 with Keane. But it took me years to “get there,” to see the divine direction, redirection, or right direction of it. With time I learned to trust the Big Appointment Calendar in the Sky … as you’ll see.

The House That Broke Our Hearts

When Tim and I first got together, my reunited childhood sweetheart hubby, we started looking for a house after we’d been living together, renting, for close to a year. We thought we’d found the house to end all houses—a block from my best friend in a small suburb that was more rural than suburban. From the back yard, it had a gorgeous view of Folsom Lake. We wanted to be near water—if not on it, at least where we could see it, which is more of what we could afford.

We signed the deal right after we saw it. It had a built-in sauna and many attractive features. However, when it came to moving the deal along, the seller hid out and would not respond to our realtor! Apparently, she wanted to back out of the contract but wouldn’t face the music. We had to hire an attorney to gain back our earnest money, and the lawyer’s fees cost us half of it. Tim was resentful and miserable for months. He had his heart set on that house.

Shortly after this debacle, our realtor’s assistant called us about a house she located just a block from her own in a nature setting near a creek. She felt this one was “it” for us. She was right! In the long-run, the house we bought was newer, closer to freeways for commuting while I still was working at my civil service job, and we suspect it is much more structurally sound than the one we lost. We love it here and can’t imagine ourselves in the other place, now that time and the divine appointment calendar has had her way with us.

This illustrates how we just can’t see the complete picture when a dis-appointment occurs. Our perfect house wasn’t ready for us yet. It wasn’t even on the market. So we had to be distracted by some other “house drama” (I’m a big fan of the drama “House!”) to keep us from making the mistake of buying anything else until it became available. I chuckle over this story still, and it has been 12 years.

Expectations and Disappointment

Instead of relying too much on my personal expectations, I’ve learned to live by what my first spiritual teacher called the divine escape clause, “This or something better.” Add the name of divinity to the request as you see Him/Her/It—Lord, God, Great Spirit, etc. Disappointment makes us miserable because we continue to think we’re the ultimate authority on what’s best for us, when life and All That Is have been disproving that to us every year of our lives.

I’ve learned, now, to simply understand that when something doesn’t work out, it’s because something better for me was meant to be. I just don’t see it yet. When you can see life through this lens, everything changes. It becomes more of an adventure and there’s less of that weepy, woeful disappointment—a feeling that makes me miserable.

Relationships: The One Appointment We Should Always Keep

This is the area where dis-appointment often equals heartbreak. I have another spin on this. Not just with Keane: I have had many relationships where, in retrospect, I feel blessed to have been “removed” or my appointment calendar edited against my will at the time.

From the perspective of a mature adult, it’s easy to look back and imagine the story arc of major loves lost and how things would have turned out, had we stayed together. That’s when I appreciate that God/dess spared me. But there’s one appointment people always should keep, whenever possible. That’s your appointment with completion.

At least three times in my life, I have had a relationship interrupted for different reasons—in one case, by the man himself (Keane), not wanting go to the next growth step when I had gone as far as I could go without a commitment. In another instance, the young man’s mother made him break up with me when we were truly too young for the feelings we’d gotten ourselves into. In yet another case, another woman stepped in right as we were getting to the cusp of declaring ourselves, before either of us had gotten up the nerve to risk admitting his or her feelings. (In that case, feelings not spoken and each of us being uncertain of how the other felt became the weak link and opening for someone else to enter).

These unfinished relationships feel like emotional miscarriages. I never stop mourning them at a certain level. I have been luckier than most, because in all cases, the interruption was talked about and/or resolved in some way later, even if we didn’t live the relationship to its natural completion at the time. (Example: One of the first things Keane said in our reunion phone call was, “There were loose ends.”)

Still, these relationships leave major losses to mourn. It’s not painful that they didn’t work out; it’s painful that they didn’t get to run their course for whatever we were to learn and experience together because our opportunity was cut off before our appointment time was up. It’s like that horrendous scene we often see, or heaven forbid, may have even personally experienced, where your 50 minutes is up with your shrink in the middle of some big emotional build-up to breakthrough. You’re cut off and left hanging.

There’s a corollary of this idea that applies to divorces and break-ups of committed relationships or any relationship where there was deep bonding. You didn’t fail; the relationship didn’t necessarily fail. Your appointment was with specific learning and experiences. Your time was simply up. This particular appointment didn’t block out your calendar for the rest of your life.

The Blessing and Curse of Deep Feelings

I am a deep feeler, and my husband calls it both my blessing and curse. He’s the middle man in the previous discussion. I keep teasing him that the only time he ever listened to his mother is when she told him to break up with me. Still, we ended up together 37 years later and are happily married. Sometimes even an interfering mother can’t muck things up completely.

If you, too, are a person with deep feelings, understand that mourning the losses of these dis-appointments is normal, healthy, and something you just have to take as part of love. Move through the feelings. Understand that same level of depth is also what brings you great joy.

An old boyfriend died recently, and when I found out, I had quite a weepy day or two consisting of a rush of happy and painful memories. (As I mentioned, all my youthful relationships were a mishmash of both.) After that, I felt great. I’ve even had some nice psychic conversations with him. Any story I’ll have with him again will have to be saved for another lifetime. I can only wonder if the Great Flow Charters in the Sky will bring us together to make up for the opportunities we missed when our appointment was cut short this time.

May you learn to see the blessings in all your dis-appointments. May you lobby for completion whenever possible, and at the very least—reconnect with that person when you’re older and wiser. Express your sorrow for what you missed together … and your joy for the fact that you can see a certain divine wisdom that led you down another path.

~~~

Photo Credit: A February calendar showing the 14th prominently © Kasiap Dreamstime.com

Karmic Relationships: The Great Flow Charters in the Sky

2010-08-09T20:08:00.000-07:00

I first became involved in metaphysics in 1977. Little did I know, then, what a red-letter year it was! On November 1 of that year, the planetary body Chiron was discovered. Chiron would ultimately become my specialty as an astrologer, but not until we “met” eleven years later.

Another turning-point iconic event happened that changed the thinking of many people that year—the release of the first Star Wars movie. There’s nothing like cinema to convey cultural values and change them. Suddenly, we were saying, “May the Force be with you,” acknowledging that there was one joining power we could tap into. We were spouting Yoda-isms, words to live by from the tiny green wizened one.

“No! Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.” ~Yoda, Star Wars

My intro to these subjects, as I’ve mentioned many times before, came from psychic and meditation teacher Betty Bethards and Unity Church. However, my own cultural context influenced the way I saw what would soon become a melting pot of ideas from different religions and traditions. Take karma for example.

While karma has many meanings and spins, they roughly parallel the idea from the Judeo-Christian West, “As ye sow, so shall ye reap.” However, it adds the idea that you may be reaping your crop through continuous lifetimes.

What Are the Mechanics?

I was one of those overly curious kids who asked my father why so often, he wanted to invent a why swatter. When I received new information, sometimes before my physical and emotional maturity to handle it, I would always get hung-up on the mechanics. For instance, when I first heard about sex and how people “do it,” I had to get out two of my dolls, imagining the male to have an anatomically correct appendage, and experiment with how that might work logistically. I didn’t get it. Grown-ups must be acrobats! At least I get points for an inquiring mind.

The same thing happened to me with karma. Once I heard that you often go through many lifetimes with the same cast of characters, repeating similar scenes until you complete your “business,” I had to figure out a way to wrap my brain around something so complex. Here’s what I came up with. Maybe it’s a metaphor; maybe I’m channeling something. At any rate, it works for me as a touchstone for organizing my thoughts around karma and reincarnation.

The Great Flow Charters in the Sky

Remembering that I first imagined this idea in the days before social networking and many tools we take for granted nowadays, I envision that each person has a “team” of advisors, a karma committee if you will, helping him or her to map out his/her next incarnation for maximum learning. This is, essentially, what Betty taught us.

Considering my Catholic background and being raised by an Italian mama, I saw my committee as consisting of handsome young Italian-American men in blue pinstripe suits, sort of a white-collar version of the entourage of Tony Soprano. Only better looking. Only angels. They didn’t make their bones; they made their wings. Bad guys gone good, now rewarded with the important job of helping others even their own scores in their multiple lives.

They’re in a “peace room” of sorts, the heavenly version of a war room where strategies are plotted before the plotted arise and are planted on earth again, body and soul together, one more time. They have to figure out how this complex of people will meet up and have all the experiences they need with all the right people from their past karmic strings of events. What a job!

I envision several flip charts. On them, they are drawing complex flow charts. Each chart stands for an individual life. Imagine the number of charts in a room in order to dovetail all of a person’s primary encounters with the people who are their sources of “unfinished business.” I can barely conceive of the complexity of this. If I had been a come-lately to these ideas, I’d probably imagine some sort of computer program. But I’d lose something important with a more modern image.

Magic Marker Music

As the Queen of Synchronicity, I’m no stranger to karmic connections and karmic moments. When they happen, I can hear in my mind the squeak of the Magic Markers the Flow Charters use, their writing tools dancing furiously on those flip charts. I imagine the complex strategy it took for all the planets to align and the people nudged to get this moment to line up.

Example: Recently, a good friend of my ex-husband, “Pearlie,” was surfing the Net looking for information on the potent summer eclipses and current rock ‘n’ rollin’ in the sky. She came across my name in her Google search and wondered if I was the same Joyce Mason who was “Laramie’s” ex. She e-mailed me, and one thing led to another. We are both into astrology and poetry and had lots to talk about. I hadn’t spoken to Laramie since ’07 and gave her his contact info. Soon we were all e-mailing in a big chain of healing and helpfulness. In my conversations with Pearlie, she helped me revision my relationship with my ex, so wrought with past pain, I dismissed the good I got from him. “Talking” with Larry by e-mail, I could see he was the most healed ever, in a good relationship, and let go the last of any beating myself up for marrying him. I saw it was all good, even if it took decades to “get it.” What a gift!

The Mystique of Karma

Speaking of husbands, I recently had cause to discuss with another friend from faraway what a minefield it is to offer opinions on someone else’s marriage, no matter how close the friendship. What Anne said is both commonsense and so profound:

Ultimately, what's between us and our husbands is part of that mysterious alchemy that no other person can ever fully know (including us, some of the time!)

Wow! Dare I say, the same goes for karma—or maybe it goes for karma foremost, because what marriage would not be a karmic relationship? I suspect that people have been incarnating far too long on the earth plane for first-time encounters. That’s my humble opinion, anyway, while clearly understanding that time is a human-made concept.

The resonance of karma is what pulls people together, I believe. We recognize each other energetically. One of my favorite, far-out astrological writers, Barbara Hand Clow, believes that we retain our same Ascendant in our birth chart lifetime after lifetime. One thing the Ascendant or rising sign has to do with is how we look. In other words, she believes we retain looks similar enough from one incarnation to the next to be recognized by our karma mates. Even though that’s a radical idea, if feels right to me.

How Karmic?

Karma is a matter of degree, but I think that it’s simple to tell how hot it is by the intensity of the magnetism when you first meet someone. It could be a “romantic” relationship, a friendship, or any form of bonding. There’s a strong pull-in and a sense of rediscovery. It’s like when you haven’t seen an old friend for years, and you pick right up where you left off. Only you don’t consciously “know” this person yet in this lifetime, so you can’t figure it out by “normal” logic.

Details Please! Past Life Regression

I’ve had several past live regressions (PLR) in my day, a form of self-exploration that I would recommend that you try only with a trusted practitioner by way of a personal referral. I learned amazing things, including my role as an astrologer in Atlantis and how much trouble it got me into, which explains why I’ve been somewhat resistive to reclaiming that vocation in my current lifetime.

I know that my husband, Tim, was also my husband in an Atlantean lifetime. (It was a long civilization, and I think I had more than one time ‘round in that lost world). He took care of me when I was disabled, and now I am returning the favor in helping him navigate his health issues in our current life.

The karma between my birth and adoptive families was explained so well by one of my PLRs, I no longer wonder why it had to happen that my birth mom gave me up. It was inevitable, a role reversal with my adoptive mom in a prior incarnation.

Through love, through friendship, a heart lives more than one life. ~Anais Nin

What If You Don’t Believe in Reincarnation?

You don’t have to believe in reincarnation for this concept to work. In today’s world, life is so fast and jam-packed with experiences, we live numerous lifetimes in any given incarnation. I guess I’m the poster girl for meeting up with people from my past lives and passions within this life … and bringing the relationships to some sort of positive balance or conclusion. I find myself talking about that a lot lately, so it’s obviously something I feel compelled to share as a major cool insight pattern at this time.

Completing circles—that’s what it’s all about. Balancing the favors, love, good and bad feelings and coming to a higher understanding of the essence of each individual on your Great Flow Chart in the Sky.

I don’t know about the sound of one hand clapping, but I do love the sound of one marker squeaking.

~~~

Photo Credit: WHITEBOARD by Tuulijumala | Dreamstime.com

Bartenders, Beauticians and Baristas

2010-08-01T17:54:00.000-07:00

© 2010
by Joyce Mason
All Rights Reserved

We all know professional counselors by the fancy letters after their names—LCSW, MFCC, Ph.D, and sometimes MD—although nowadays “shrinks” tend to deal more with medication and leave the counseling to owners of the other initials.

But I’m not talking about Licensed Clinical Social Workers, Marriage Family and Child Counselors, psychologists or psychiatrists. I’m talking about those grassroots counselors we encounter in our everyday life, those folks in the title of this post—bartenders, beauticians, and baristas. Is there one among us who hasn’t told his tale of joy or woe or sought solace from one of these B-people? Even if it was only our custom-made Carmel Macchiato?

Now that I’ve really lived and for longer than I care to admit, I treasure in retrospect more than ever this trio of feel-better professionals in my life. They don’t all have degrees, but the degree they have positively influenced my life cannot be underestimated. I’ll bet the same is true for you. I’d like to tell you some stories about some of my most prized and profound encounters with each of them. Maybe I’ll spark some memories of your own.

Bartenders

My experience with bartenders is in a past life, as I have barely touched alcohol for decades, except for the occasional glass of wine with a special dinner at home or in a restaurant. Still, what a part “my friendly neighborhood bartender” played in my twenties. I lived in a small city where the local bar was where most social connections were made and perpetuated, and I was at an age where I wanted to “be connected” more than anything else.

I’ll call him Uncle Bucky. Buck was a middle-aged guy who could chat up a rock. Aside from the fact he was attracted to me and it wasn’t mutual, Bucky always had my best interests at heart. If he saw me sidling up to someone he thought was bad news, he would tell me gently—or bluntly, depending on his mood and my degree of gaga. He was married with daughters, and his paternal instincts were something he couldn’t turn off like the spigot on a draw of tap beer. What I loved about him: I could always talk to him about anything. I knew he cared and felt protective of me. And he created an atmosphere in his pub of close family, care, and concern. If anyone drank too much or was being obnoxious, it was handled. It was my own version of the TV show, Cheers. Everybody knew my name. It was home. At that particular time in my life when I was just a few steps in front of breaking away from my parents, Uncle Bucky’s provided a way station for the duration of my “psychological adolescence” in his hometown. He brought joy, comfort, and counsel to a lot of people. When I moved away, I missed Uncle Bucky. I never replaced him. I guess I outgrew my “bar stage” and turned the informal counselor role over to others.

Beauticians

Hairdressers hold a certain je ne sais quois for me, because I come from a family of them: mother, brother, sister, and sister-in-law. You could say my family could make your hair stand on end—or not—and it would be a completely accurate statement. I grew up with my mother’s beauty salon in our paneled, made-over basement. I don’t think I knew air without the smell of permanent wave solution or hair color. I’m sure the chemicals did something to my brain. People say I have a unique viewpoint. It’s probably just the fumes! They say the psychic oracle at Dephi was actually high on sulpher fumes from a nearby geyser. Same difference.

This family history is probably what makes me so loyal to a hairdresser. It’s more than a professional relationship for me; it’s personal. I’ve only had six hairdressers in 40 years, and it would be only three, if I hadn’t moved in two cases and if one of them hadn’t died.

Garry—More Than Hair-y. I want to talk about the one who died, Garry. This is in large part an homage to him, because he represents the depth to which a relationship that starts in the “hair chair” can evolve into one of great intimacy and family feeling. Garry has been gone for nearly 20 years, yet I still can’t think about him without crying. I have lost many family members—parents, siblings, nephew—and I don’t always tear up when I remember them. What is it about Garry that got to me in such a bedrock way? Why can’t I see this screen for drops of sorrow glopping on my keyboard?

In part, it’s who Garry was and still is in whatever dimension he now lives. He was from Kentucky and had one of those assets that can’t be bought or affected, an adorable Southern accent. Plus, we were so on beam with each other—both highly metaphysical, relationship and communications oriented. I don’t worry that he’d care that I’m sharing either photo or facts about him. He was a Gemini. He’d have loved it. He’d have been honored. He lived in the open and “out loud.” I remember someone once describing Leo Buscaglia as The Incredible Hug. Seeing Garry (left) and his partner Marty in this photo, you can probably see why I think he deserves the same title.

The bedrock piece is that Garry really “got” me. He grokked my essence. When I found my birth mom in 1986, he and Marty came to my getting-to-know-her party. I created a memory book and form where people could say how they knew me and their favorite things to tell my “new, yet original” mother about me. Garry wrote:

She is a total heart person. She comes only from creating peace on the planet. I love her. She is very warm and easy to be around.

Like I said, he really got me, and that gets to me.

When Garry was diagnosed with AIDS, he made lemons out of lemonade and always put spirit first before worry. My brother was also going through a potentially devastating illness, himself, which luckily turned out later to go into remission. He lived another 10 years into his early seventies and ultimately died from something else. Yet, when my bro was living on the edge, thinking he might not have long to live, it was Garry who reached out, had us over for dinner, and put us in the right frame of mind and in the right direction of helpful resources. You can’t buy that, either. Friends who share their shoes and tell you where the podiatrist and shoe repair are located.

Marty died about a year later and the memorial was at Garry and Marty’s home. Marty was an adorable, big overgrown kid who loved balloons. We sent dozens of them skyward in his honor. Their huge yard was covered with people and more love than blades of grass. I don’t think I’ve met two people more universally cherished.

To show who Garry really was, you’d have to appreciate that he was dying on the day his only daughter got married. He was too sick to attend her wedding—and he wanted her to go through with the ceremony. He wanted the show to go on, even though he couldn't walk her down the aisle and her brothers would have to do the honors. He was lovingly acknowledged by the clergyman in absentia. I cried a lot that day, too, but it was just a warm-up. He died the next morning.

At his memorial in the rose garden of one of the popular parks in town, I was still crying. You could have watered the flowers with my tears. Garry was my counselor, confidant, dear friend—and incidentally, my hairdresser. We connected on each other’s similar cosmic tractor beam in a way few people do. We treasured each other’s viewpoints and opinions on our lives. Maybe I sensed he’d die too young, and that made our time together so sweet. I remember once, he was worried about how he’d put away money for “his old age.” Turned out to be a non-issue. He didn’t have one.

I used to talk to Garry about writing a stirring play, based on our relationship. It would center on the Garry-based character doing the Joyce-based character’s hair one last time for her wake. It would be a flashback about all the life they’d lived together in the chair. He wasn’t supposed to die first. It wasn’t the play I had in mind, even though the ending was the same, roles reversed.

I just know that I’ll always love him and miss him. He must have done something really special and permanent to my hair—and heart—follicles.

“Tom,” the ‘Tweener. I actually had one truly temporary hairdresser, only for a year or two—but I went back to my ex, Tom. I was relieved to find Tom—I think Garry actually referred me to him when he was getting too sick to work. I left Tom the first time because of distance from home. The second time, that was still my official reason, but in truth, something changed between us. I was no longer comfortable in his chair. It was no longer the life-affirming, fun friendship we once had. He seemed impatient with me and no longer interested in my life. I have my theories about why it changed, but they don’t matter. I consider it similar to a marriage that didn’t go the distance. All totaled, we spent at least 12 years together, but when our relationship lost the personal touch, I knew it was time to let go. It was my signal to move on, because that’s my need. To work on my head, you have to be good for it—and my soul, too. Being in someone’s hair chair has to be a therapeutic experience, or it’s just not for me.

Liz, the Love. My current hairdresser, Liz, is a keeper! I was referred to her by one of my closest, most trusted friends. I like the way she cuts my hair, and I love how she understands me. As a single mom on a budget, she completely gets my current priorities in today’s economic climate. She not only understands that I need to color my own hair for now; she actually gives me tips on how to do it! We cut up during those haircuts and have the best time. It’s like a girlfriends’ PJ party without the jammies. Substitute hair smock.

Liz loves to see me coming. She’s so good looking and lively, she’s just fun to watch. I like a hairdresser who looks beautiful. She’s a walking, talking advertisement, which gives me confidence. Plus, at twenty years younger than me, it makes me tingle when she constantly tells me I don’t look anywhere near my age. Even if she were fibbing (not her style), the flattery is good for my soul. We connect. It’s two-way counseling. She’s way wiser than her years, and her zest for life is a booster shot of spirit every time I see her. We hug and speak endearments.

Given our age difference, I hope I can assume Liz will outlive me by a long shot. Quite honestly, I’m not sure I could handle another six-hanky tearjerker hairdresser loss.

Baristas

Wake-up juice. For some of us, it’s mother’s milk—with a kick. When they know my personal preferences—my drink—I feel so nurtured! And sometimes it’s more than the barista; it’s the coffeehouse.

During my husband’s recent round of PT, I’d drop him off and walk over to the Peet’s across the street. What ambience! While my husband got physical therapy, I got caffeine therapy in a spa setting. Everyone was so friendly, and each staff person always remembered me. Service is prompt, courteous, and everyone in the entire place is upbeat—even the customers. The best part is the classical music. My cool insight? I spend too much time in silence and need to get out my huge classical music collection and start playing it again as background music when I work.

I have noticed that while there was the old expression soda jerk, which did not mean jerk in the normal pejorative sense, I’ve never met a barista that acted like a jerk whatsoever. They deserve that classy title. Baristas have something special. (My coffee!) Seriously, they make custom orders rapidly and almost always serve up drinks with a smile. It’s those little kindnesses in everyday life, especially during these crazy times, that remind me that I miss my mother …

… and Garry.

~~~

Photo credits: Bartender sits at bar © Pavel Losevsky | Dreamstime.com and a photo from Garry and Marty’s Christmas card, circa late ‘80s/early ‘90s.

PS ~ I’d love to hear your personal experiences with the three B’s.

Spiritual Mutts

2010-07-25T18:37:00.000-07:00

My friend Elizabeth and I have deeply spiritual discussions. One day last year, I was struggling with my growing inability to feel comfortable attending my church, a liberal Catholic parish to which she had introduced me. It had been so much a part of my life at that point, but I was being called to move on—to reclaim my larger spirituality that transcends denomination or ritual.

That’s when she did it. Elizabeth called herself a “spiritual mutt,” someone who doesn’t quite fit into any one church. I knew instantly that I was the same kind of mongrel.

The downside of this metaphor: Maybe it’s because I was raised Catholic with its historical shadow of darkness including the Inquisition. I couldn’t quite shake the idea of the Dogma Catcher coming after me.

Still, the concept really helped me sort out yet another phase of my never-ending journey. Elizabeth was instrumental in helping me find a Catholic church so welcoming and open-minded; I could go there and heal the dark side of my religious roots. I had a lot of hurt to heal. I had been away for 40 years.

My comeback was like most things I do—all or nothing. I dove into the deep end of the baptismal font. Before I knew it, I was back into the groove of weekly Mass and all the rituals I had missed for most of my adult life. I was involved in key ministries, including those that welcomed others to the community—or welcomed them back after long absences like mine.

I developed a new appreciation for the fact that the spiritual and spirited being I have become emanates from the same core beliefs that molded many of the mystics.

I was back to rediscover the good in my spiritual beginnings. I completed a circle that had been broken and desperately needed repair. It was one of the greatest losses of my lifetime, feeling that I couldn't remain in the church of my childhood. When I could once again be there—even for a while—it was heaven.

By far, I am not the only person on earth who has struggled with Catholicism (or perhaps your own, different religion) and how to relate to our religious upbringing as adults in a modern world. Most of my life I have known more “recovering” Catholics than practicing ones. By now, I have no beef with anyone who is in either camp, and not just because I’m old enough to remember meatless Fridays. It is a beautiful faith, and I envy those who can be there wholeheartedly. It must be wonderful to be a pedigreed Catholic or Baptist, Jew or Buddhist—to have a certain breed of spirituality that’s consistent with your internal beliefs that brings a community of support with it for the believer, not to mention activities and fun! I’ve had some of my best times ever in the church hall. (Catholics really know how to party!)

Jesus: Teacher and Radical

Still, a single religion isn’t big enough for me. My beliefs are more universal, and I see Jesus in a different light than more conservative or biblically literal Christians. I believe in less emphasis on Jesus dying for our sins and more on his teaching us how to live. The former is hard to take without inducing guilt for merely being alive, not a good psychological state from which to become all we can be—in the image and likeness of the divine. Jesus showed us how to put love in action. I doubt Jesus’ first choice for jobs would have been scapegoat. I believe he would have “saved” us whether or not he was executed, which was a political act. He saved us by showing us the path of compassion and universal love. The horrible way he died made his life more dramatic and memorable; we still talk about it all the time, over 2000 years later.

Even though conservatives have claimed him as their own, Jesus was a radical—a man who loved others regardless of class or status, saint or sinner. That was unusual in his day, and it’s too bad it’s still unusual now. He really rocked the status quo—why he was seen as a political threat, and why his life ended in capital punishment.

Jesus and his teachings remain the foundation of who I am; yet, I cannot deny or discard the boatload of blessings from other paths. Like an artist who wants to choose from all colors in the palette to make the most beautiful painting, I want my spiritual life to have the most color and beauty possible. That, for me, comes with universality—seeing the best in all paths and where they converge. It also minimizes prejudice. So much conflict and death has come out of religious differences; I can only feel that being ecumenical and embracing is the best possible thing I can do.

One thing I’m sure of: God has no religion.

Whatever way you perceive the spark of the divine, I believe Universal Love is so all encompassing; there couldn’t possibly be a “Catholics Only” heaven like I was taught in the 1950s. And if heaven’s truly a state of mind, which I also believe at many levels, then it’s also full of diversity—and not full enough!

Great Scotty!

If there’s a patron saint for spiritual mutts, in my mind, he’s Rev. Scotty McClennan. While his name might not exactly be a household word, a character based on him may have been to your house a lot in your life. Scotty is a good friend of cartoonist Gary Trudeau, and the character Rev. Scot Sloan in Doonesbury was inspired by him.

Scotty McClennan is a Unitarian Universalist minister (a denomination where I spent five years as an adult). He’s author of Finding Your Religion: When the Faith You Grew Up with Has Lost Its Meaning. That book has been a godsend for me, no pun intended. One of its neatest features is a spiritual evolutionary timeline. It goes from Stage 1 (Magic), where spirits, demons, fairy tales and a vision of God making everything happen through Stage 7 (Unity) where you feel community with all traditions and sense the divine in everything. As you can probably guess, spiritual mutts tend to be in Stage Seven or in 7th Heaven, as I like to think of it. I can’t recommend this book enough, if you’re struggling with how your religious roots fit into stretching your spiritual wings.

Another concept I heard at a Catholic women’s retreat also speaks to stages of spiritual evolution through the three persons in one God or Trinity. When we are young and need a simplified look at life, love, and God, we are likely to resonate most to God the Father. In the mid-stage, we spend much time identifying with Jesus, the Son. In the third and final stage, we resonate to the Holy Spirit—see God and signs of God everywhere.

Finally, there’s one more Great Scotty, his newest book, Jesus Was a Liberal: Reclaiming Christianity for All. It takes a new look at who Jesus was and how his teachings apply to all the big issues in modern ethical dilemmas and social justice.

Vocations

As an astrologer and a writer on spirituality, I sometimes I think of myself as a missionary on the frontiers of outer space. I help many grateful people; it is moving, gratifying work. I feel privileged that people trust me to journey with them to the deepest, most magnificent parts of themselves. These places of purest possibility are often hidden by our own evolutionary limits and unexamined habit patterns.

This mission is hard to do from most religious traditions because many religions condemn astrology. At least my favorite, open-minded Catholic parish says every Christmas—out loud!—that the Magi were astrologers. I find it paradoxical that the Three Wise Men who attended the birth of the Christ child were Zoroastrian priest-astrologers, yet astrology tends to make the religious hierarchy nervous. I suspect they fear it has something to do with giving one’s faith over to something other than God. On the contrary, I see God and Creator in the movement of the stars, planets, and the power behind the astrologers motto, “As above, so below.” The Bible is full of references to the stars as signs, not to mention heaven/the heavens, starting with the Star of Bethlehem. Yet, sadly, many people have not gotten out of the Dark Ages with their vision of astrology. As most modern astrologers practice it, astrology is about following divine hints and an actual, personalized roadmap of how to get to heaven—metaphorically, becoming all you can be as embodied spirit.

I have noted before in other articles my discontent, growing up, with the word “vocation” being used strictly to denote a call to the religious life as a priest, nun, monk, or similar dedicated life path with formal vows. (That in my mind is “vowcation.”) Vocation, more broadly, is whatever pursuit contains a divine calling for you. Mine is astrology and eclectic spirituality. Given the “faith of my fathers” has not been very friendly toward either astrology or women in leadership roles, there’s not a fit.

But I don’t have to have a fit. In the past, I would have bemoaned and groaned about this as small-minded on the part of the Church. Now, thanks to Rev. Scotty and others who have re-attuned me to the concept of spiritual evolution, I recognize that both institutions and people are on different roads or stages of their spiritual quest. I knew many Stage 7’s (Unity) in my Catholic parish, but the institutional church is more Stage 3 (Dependence).

Symbols and Spirit

I think most of us realize that the true divide, when it comes to religion, is the chasm of Literal and Figurative. It’s difficult to argue with people who view the Bible as literal. I don’t try; I just respect their view from a different place on the spiritual spectrum.

Symbolism is the life’s blood of my own spirituality, and because writing is where symbols meet communication, I write.

My own spirituality is a sort of Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof speaking to God meets the Cosmic Bonfire of Creativity or the Tao in the channeled Michael Teachings. The latter contain one of my favorite ways of seeing the spiritual world, a creation myth I paraphrase in a December 2007 holiday blog post, Turn on the Lights!

Symbols, to me, are sparks of the God stuff everywhere; synchronicities, omens, hunches and inklings all are Spirit, taking whatever form it needs to leave a message. Spirit is a shape shifter, after all, and when she leaves messages in writing, it doesn’t matter if it’s on paper, a coffee cup, or graffiti on a construction site fence. I have found guidance in all those places.

Theological Outlaws

Recently, I learned a more humorous vision of Spiritual Mutts from astrologer Steven Forrest. He calls us Theological Outlaws. (See The Mountain Astrologer, June/July 2010.) That certainly matches my self-image as a missionary on the frontier of spirituality and outer space. Actually, the trait of being a spiritual outlaw is one of nine for people who have a special characteristic of their Moon in astrology. It’s called Moon out-of-bounds (OOB). Without getting into all the technical astrobabble, it means you have an overdose of lunar characteristics and no bounds to where you’ll go, because your feeling and spiritual life are colored limitless. We are mutts that can’t be collared or confined to a dogma run! And let’s not forget; dog is God spelled backwards, and multi-breed spirited types just get to God from a different direction.

(See my post Moonwalk: Cancer on the Radical Virgo, if you want to learn more bout OOBies.)

Pack of Mutts

The one thing that religion provides that spiritual mutts sometimes miss is the convenient access to community the church structure provides. The denominations where I’ve most spent time as an adult are Unitarian Universalist (UU) and Unity. I think I like religions that start with a U because it reminds me of a smile. Also, the word Unity fits my Stage 7 unity consciousness.

Even when I get my most spirited match when it comes to a church, I still find myself not quite fitting in. That used to make me sad, but I finally had this epiphany, and it wasn’t even January 6th. There are all kinds of ways we wild dogs run together. Some examples are Facebook, Twitter, our spiritual mutt blogs (astrology, spirituality), and our local metaphysical centers. So, we don’t have bake sales. But the community is still there, even when it’s often virtual. (Upside: No plate is passed and there are no committees to draft you.)

I’m starting to realize that I have community as a spiritual mutt/theological outlaw. Indeed, it’s mostly on the frontier of the Internet.

The other important insight: I used to feel I fit in nowhere; nowadays, I’m more apt to feel I can fit in most anywhere. Of course, like anyone else, I’ll choose to spend most of my time with people who are like-minded, but one of my favorite activities is church hopping. I love to go to different services, study various religions, and see Spirit from all angles.

Religion and Spirituality: Same or Different?

I’d love to hear your experiences in the Comments. Are religion and spirituality the same thing for you? (I think it can be “either/or” or “both/and.”)

One of my favorite sayings is, The best thing we can give our children is roots and wings. For me, religion is my roots, the recognition from baptism that I’m in communion with All That Is, everyone and everything under the sun and stars.

My wings span that God Has No Religion place, and yet, coming to terms with the part religion has played in molding me has been one of the most important passages of my life. While my ideas are dotted with Buddhist and Jewish concepts (I grew up in a Jewish neighborhood and absorbed much Jewish culture and perspective), my Catholic Christian core most fully formed who I am today, spirituality.

I’ve always been told by psychics that I’m an Old Soul. Wonder how that translates in dog years?

~~~

Photo credit: A Soulful Canine © Gabe Palmer Dreamstime.com

Raccoon Medicine

2010-07-12T22:14:00.000-07:00

© 2010 by Joyce Mason

I’ve long been familiar with the Medicine Cards by Jamie Sams and David Carson which work as a tarot of animal totems. Whatever cards you draw, you need the “medicine” associated with that animal. It’s often stunning how these cards and furry friends bring light to an issue or suggestions how to proceed on your path.

I’ve also been familiar, for a long time, with the idea that if an animal comes into your sphere on a given day, it’s the “live” version of drawing a Medicine Card. For example, earlier this year, one of the ducks from our nearby creek flew down our chimney and into the fireplace! He was stuck flitting around madly until we intervened.

The poor thing, scared out of his wits and covered in ashes, finally let me grab him around the middle, disabling his wings temporarily from mad flying. Then I could put him on the deck. He flew off into the sunset. Later, I learned from my friend Larry, who’s part Native American, that Duck is about emotional comfort and protection. Ducks connect with feminine energies, the astral plane, and emotions. They have a strong sense of community. Community has been “up” a lot for me this year, and in a way, living on a creek, the ducks are part of my community. I was happy to help him.

Larry also said ducks remind us that it’s OK to return to the parts of ourselves that feel safe and comfortable. They teach us to be graceful when handling emotions and to drink deep from the waters of life. I love this! From a more punful place, I wondered if there was something I might be “ducking.” Since the duck landed in my fireplace, I also “got” that there might be some issues of personal burnout. But one of the things I read online about Duck that hit home most of all has to do with how ducks glide with grace in the water, while their little webbed feet are pumping like crazy underneath. It reminded me how I seem like I turn out projects and writing in the world that look polished, when underneath it all, I’m working like crazy. (I suppose that’s no big secret!)

Touched by Raccoon Medicine – Part 1

Last week we mourned the cutting down of one of our beloved live oak trees. We live above a stand of them, and the tree could not be saved. It threatened to take out our deck and bedroom. I discovered the big crack in the base of the tree thanks to a friend who happens to be a forest ranger. He also found a raccoon living in it! I've been so concerned about the raccoon and how it would relocate. A friend of mine who's a professional animal communicator and psychic was even "talking" to it for me. While my forest ranger friend thought the raccoon would find many potential homes along our green belt, it refused to come out as the workers cut the tree to just above its habitat.

The tree service worker opened the hole enough to peer in more deeply. That's when he discovered not just a raccoon but several babies. She chirruped at me, as if conversing—and she never seemed afraid but held her ground.

She did get through. My heart just went out to her and her babes, and we decided we would not cut the tree to the ground at this time. Through my psychic friend, I told her, "You can live here as long as you want until your babies are big enough for you to relocate on your own."

Later, I learned that the key words for Raccoon Medicine are “generous protection.” I generously protected the mother and children as she protected her babies. It felt good, and it reflected other issues in my life where generous protection was needed.

Torn by Raccoon Medicine – Part 2

I wish I could leave this story on the up-note of that happy ending—and I wish it had left me there, too. As a reporter on the deeper meanings of life, I have to share the sad with the happy.

A day later, I got some devastating news from my neighbor who was harvesting the wood from our tree for his elderly mother’s wood-burning stove. One of the adult raccoons had been accidentally killed by one of the tree cutters’ saws. He had crawled up into a hollow branch, apparently frightened by the noise of the saws. There was no way they could have known he was there.

I was devastated. I had asked them to be so careful, and after receiving this bad news, I bawled my eyes out for the next 15 minutes. I don’t remember when I last cried so hard. I'm sure I was mourning not just the innocent raccoon but the losses of a lifetime.

Of course, I know there is nothing I could have done. I know it was an accident. Still, human intervention left a family without one parent. My husband, Tim, feels it was the mother that survived, because she’d be the one most likely to stay in the bottom of the tree with the babies. That’s my hope, although I can’t say I feel much better about leaving a family without a father.

Painful as Part 2 of my brush with Raccoon Medicine was for me, there was much I learned from it. We can’t control everything. There’s a larger order which may make no sense to us. I like to think I can save the world. Clearly, I can’t.

I couldn’t leave a dying tree ready to topple house, people, and animals, including both the wild and domestic ones that live on my property. I’ve also, lately, had some realizations about the parallel to diseased relationships. This episode taught me that sometimes, whether we want to or not, death is part of the pruning process. When we can remove the diseased or disfunctioning part of a relationship and it survives—wonderful. When we cannot and there is loss or death, we must move on. In its own way, that’s Spirit generously protecting us.

While I wish God/dess sometimes wasn’t so graphic; this certainly makes the point. As does the positive part of the story. I will always generously protect the people I love. It’s in my make-up. The part about generously protecting myself, I’m still learning.

Leave it to the last act of a dying oak tree to help convey these lessons. The Oak is considered in the Celtic tradition the cosmic storehouse of wisdom, embodied in its towering strength.

Who knew such drama was going on just below my house?

~~~

Photo Credit: THE RACCOON by Vladvitek | Dreamstime.com

Getting the Clap

2010-07-06T22:36:00.000-07:00

No, I’m not speaking of sexually transmitted diseases—but if wondering helped catch your eye, I hope you enjoy the pun …

… because what I’m really talking about is applause. Some years ago, it occurred to me that when we clap at a concert, speech, religious service—what have you—we are sending little waves of heart energy to the object of our clapping. We clap our hands in front of our heart chakra. I’m sure I’m not the only person who considers this way cool. I can understand how this could become an addiction for those who love the stage!

Even if we clap over our heads—up, down, or sideways—our arms attach smack at the level of our hearts. Clapping sends waves of love and appreciation. Clapping is unbelievably energizing. It’s spontaneous to the beat of great music, the universal language and healer.

The Figurative Clap

OK, that’s the literal clap—applause. But what about the figurative clap, showing appreciation? I haven’t met the person yet that doesn’t want, need, or downright crave acknowledgement from others of his or her accomplishments. For many of us, it doesn’t have to be a big band and a parade. A quiet thanks, or “you did a great job” will do.

Then there are those who, like rock stars, crave recognition so much, they can’t climb high enough on the corporate or agency ladder, enter enough contests, or score enough trophies. I figure that must be exhausting. One of my college professors once said I was the biggest overachiever he ever met. (I thought he exaggerated.) Still, I can’t imagine adding a need for trophies to such “ambition.”

Questions to Ask Yourself

• How do I want to be recognized?
• What am I willing to do to get recognition?
• Am I adequately recognized at home, school, or office?
• Do I “clap back?”

Clapping for Yourself

Of course, it’s hard to give yourself a pat on the back or to jump up and down in a short skirt with a megaphone to cheer yourself on. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.

In recent years, I’ve added a new ritual to my Winter Solstice favorites when celebrating with my Solsisters group. Before we “burn the old”—what we want to get rid of in our lives—we do a meditation to ponder our achievements in both the outer and inner world during the past year. You don’t have to wait till the cusp of winter to do it. In fact, doing this exercise twice a year—mid-year and at the end—would be perfect. Clapping for yourself in July will stoke your self-appreciation for the rest of the year. You can read the details of the Ceremony of Recognition in my article on Spirited Woman.

After my 2009 Winter Solstice meditation on self-recognition, I made myself a certificate. Last year, I most appreciated how I trusted my inner compass and connection with spirit to guide me. This alignment with the universal flow is unbelievably empowering. I thought you’d get a kick out of seeing how I “clapped for myself.” I signed it, dated it, and put it in a gold frame where I see it in my office every day. I can’t wait to see what certificate replaces it next year!

Clapping for Others

An attitude of gratitude underpins all manifestations in life. Tell life, “I love it!” and whatever “it” is, life will love you back and give you more. Same goes for people. Still, I don’t thank God or recognize others to get more; I do it because it’s the right thing to do. There is so much in life that can pull us under. It’s exciting to acknowledge what brings us up.

Rowdy Clapping for Others
When I first joined Toastmasters, I found the rah-rah and continuous clapping a bit much. However, I’ve grown to love it. It truly is contagious. All those heartwaves spinning around a room. The church I’ve attended most recently also is full of very raucous clappers. Enthusiasm. Optimism. Appreciation.

There was a wonderful song made popular in the 50s by various artists, “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands.”

So do you.

~~~

Photo Credit: Happy Friends Applauding © Justmeyo Dreamstime.com

Interdependence Day

2010-07-03T14:51:00.000-07:00

© 2010 by Joyce Mason
All Rights Reserved

Just as Christmas, Chanukah and the winter holidays often slip into commercialization: the deeper meaning of the American 4th of July can easily get lost in picnics, fireworks, favorite foods, and good times with friends and family. US Independence Day marks our country’s separation from England to form our own independent nation.

This made me think about the meaning of independence and why Americans—and people from other independent nations—value it so highly. The initial reasons are obvious. No one wants to be under the control or thumb of a repressive government. I also want to talk about how we’re sometimes mistaken about what freedom means.

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was Choice." ~ Tom Robbins, Author

Freedom of Choice

I can’t count the number of times I have cited the Tom Robbins quote, above, probably because it incites my independent spirit. Many times, we think of independence as freedom from something. The USA’s freedom from England. In a divorce, our freedom from a constraining relationship. At core, to me, what freedom really means is being free to choose.

I think of the many new freedom milestones I have enjoyed as an American, many of them new in my lifetime, such as freedom of procreative choice and the freedom to have any kind of relationship I want among the full diversity of people I encounter.

Once an attorney told me that the law is the most basic level of what’s right and wrong, but there are many other levels of ethics. Those freedoms written into law are basic rights of citizens, said no more eloquently than in the Declaration of Independence: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights.

The truest and highest levels of freedom, however, come through freedom of thought. In my nitpicking about prepositions, in this discussion, the highest levels of freedom are freedom “of”—ideas, beliefs, speech, and the choices that come from them.

“It’s a Free Country”

Freedom of ideas and speech are perhaps the most precious freedoms of all. Few Americans could tell you the content of any other amendments to the Constitution, but nearly everyone knows that the 1st Amendment addresses freedom of speech. More specifically, it prohibits making laws against the free expression of:

• Religion and exercise of religion
• Speech
• Press and news
• Peaceful assembly
• Petitions to government to redress grievances

No wonder we remember that “1!”

Any American—or citizen of any other free country—needs to think periodically about this freedom we may take for granted. This is a time to be grateful for them. We all know of countries where these freedoms do not exist, and this is the perfect time to pray for them or to send healing energy toward change. While freedom of religion implies freedom of beliefs, the real freedom I want to celebrate this day is freedom to think for yourself, the freedom to form your own ideas, and the freedom to “let freedom reign” by creating “free” atmospheres in your relationships.

Free Thinkers

If you count yourself in this crowd, we really tend to challenge the power-that-be and the status-quo! Those two hyphenate groups are often threatened by people who think for themselves and are outspoken in their views. Here’s where astrology helps me understand the continuum we live on between freedom and repression. The planet Saturn rules institutions, government, and the way it’s always been. Uranus represents rebellion, revolution, moving forward, genius and flash insights. Saturn tends to represent the past, while Uranus is the future.

In the US, we are future- and freedom- oriented. Where do you sit on this pole personally? Between the ways we’ve always done it and how things could be in an ideal future? One you help invent?

This is a meditation I invite you to begin in this post and on Independence Day.

Freedom of Thought

We’re sometimes our own worst “repressive government” in our minds. It’s tough, that pole between what is and what could be, between status-quo and change. Often, to get to what will be better for us, we have to give up in part or whole something that brings us comfort. It could be a job, home or marriage, a geographic location, a religion you’ve outgrown. The possibilities are endless.
Periodically, we need to do an important analysis, and I propose that Independence Day is, thematically, the perfect time:

• What no longer serves my growth?
• What no longer is true to my beliefs?
• Where do I have grievances that need to be addressed?
• What am I willing to give up to go from stagnation to the next era of my life?

Right now with the Big Change Transits in the sky, many of us are being challenged to make this assessment of personal freedom. The hardest part is facing this question: What or whom can I no longer live with? At least in its current form?

It’s reaching that cusp or turning point that can make or break a situation gone stagnant, infuse it with growth, or help you face the steps you have to take to reform it, whether the relationship is job, marriage, friendship, volunteer work—anything else that needs a tune-up to remain healthy and growing. The others involved will do or the situation will die and you’ll have a resurrection in these areas of life—new form.

I have been faced with a number of these decision points of late, and even if the potential of loss in some of them is scary, the potential for flying to new heights is more exhilarating than my fears. Relationships often rise to the occasion when these turning points are reached. Many times, they will never rise out of a rut without a booster shoot of “or else.” Good is sure to come out of it when we’re willing to trust Spirit, accept whatever consequences come with our truth, and begin moving on slowly but surely toward the new. This reminds me of the song, Me ‘n’ Bobby McGee:

"Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose." ~ Janis Joplin

When the current situation is more painful and unacceptable than the possibilities for the future, we’re living in Nothin’ Left to Lose.

Interdependence

We’ve all encountered—or been at times—independent to a fault. Here’s where many of us can use some reconsideration of what independence really means. It simply means to choose, not necessarily to choose to do everything by ourselves or in a way that doesn’t consider others. The best relationships, organizations, and human connections of all kinds come from creating an atmosphere where everyone can be himself or herself (independent) yet have the freedom to interact in pairs or as part of a group—among our best selves—to make life better. When that atmosphere exists, we each operate in our own brilliance—our Best Us. Imagine a world powered on that kind of interconnection and cooperation!

In astrology, Uranus—that freedom energy—rules the sign of Aquarius, often devoted to the good of the group. I hope I’ve offered a good case for why independent types at their highest expression are destined to become interdependent. Imagine a world where you’re in all your relationships only because you want to be.

We have the freedom to choose to support the uniqueness of everyone we know—and to welcome working together to meet our needs. People with a strong Uranus or planets in Aquarius are also utopian. That perfect world can’t exist until people are uniquely themselves, contributing their one-of-a-kind gifts. As we better ourselves and seek actualization, we make the world a better place—closer to Shangri-La. The pursuit of happiness is in each of our hands and all of our hands.

Happy Interdependence Day!

~~~

Photo Credit: Man Embracing Woman, American Flag in Background © Photograph... | Dreamstime.com