Hot Swen Updates

Thank You So Much

2018-12-19T04:24:00.002-08:00

THANK YOU

Hello,

We would like to use this opportunity to thank you for being a loyal fan of TOV EMPIRE . We promise to continue entertaining you with our several interesting posts on our website . Continue visiting our website daily to have a great laugh with our several funny videos, jokes and twisted news stories. It's never a dull moment at TOV EMPIRE . Our dedicated team is working really hard to make sure we improve on our quality of humor to serve you better. We do hope we are able to put smiles on your beautiful faces always . Once Again thank you for supporting TOV EMPIRE.

Kind Regards
Mr TOV
CEO TOV EMPIRE

VIDEO: Police CheckPoint

2014-08-15T19:39:00.001-07:00

Watch this hilarious animation skit about a Police Checkpoint in Nigeria. Enjoy the video below.

You can also download the video >> Police CheckPoint

Be a nice person, share this with your friends.

NIGERIANS NOW BATH WITH MAGGI AS SALT SCARCITY HITS NIGERIA

2014-08-08T16:05:00.003-07:00

Following the circulation of some texts on social media platforms advising Nigerians to take their bath with salt water,the country’s residents have trooped out in numbers to buy every pinch of salt they can lay their hands on.

In an interview with Iya Ramotu, a shop owner, HotSwen Media gathered the following information.

HotSwen Correspondent: Good morning ma, may I know you ?

Iya Ramotu: Good morning, my name is Iya Ramotu, I own this shop

HotSwen Correspondent: Please I want to buy some salt

Iya Ramotu: Salt has finish o, people have come and buy all my salt since morning…

HotSwen Correspondent: Madam, but why is everyone buying salt today?

Iya Ramotu: Me I don’t know o, but I heard someone saying Ebo, or Eba something.

HotSwen Correspondent: You mean Ebola ?

Iya Ramotu: Yes Yes Yes , Ebola, they said......... Continue Reading

THANK YOU

2014-08-03T18:51:00.001-07:00

THANK YOU

Hello,

We would like to use this opportunity to thank you for being a loyal fan of HotSwen Media . We promise to continue entertaining you with our several satirical news stories on our website www.HotSwen.com . Continue visiting our website daily to have a great laugh with our several funny videos, jokes and twisted news stories. It's never a dull moment at HotSwen Media . Our dedicated team is working really hard to make sure we improve on our quality of humor to serve you better. We do hope we are able to put smiles on your beautiful faces always . Once Again thank you for supporting HotSwen.

Kind Regards
Prince ID
CEO HotSwen Media LTD

Craziest News Updates for Sunday January 12, 2014

2014-01-12T09:27:00.003-08:00

GIRL SHOCKS EVERYONE BY MARRYING HER MOBILE PHONE

In a rather surprising event today, an 18-year-old Nigerian girl married her mobile phone in Lagos. According to the new marriage laws issued by the Supreme Court, anyone above the age of 18 can marry anything except the same-sex.

Vivian Okilo, who is a student of the University of Lagos, today, under the same law married her newly bought mobile phone

Continue reading>> GIRL SHOCKS EVERYONE BY MARRYING HER MOBILE PHONE

VIDEO: Must Watch: Dr Swen Magic Rice

Continue reading>> VIDEO: Must Watch: Dr Swen Magic Rice

FG TO INSTALL CCTV MONITORING CAMERAS IN EVERY HOME BY FEBRUARY

In a new year message aired live on Hot Swen T.V, the President of Nigeria, President Jonathan, said he would be taking measures to leave no stones unturned this year.

President Johnathan told Hot Swen newsmen that his administration faced a lot of draw backs in 2013 due to the fact that Nigerians were always raining insults and curses on him instead of praising him and supporting his government.

Continue reading>> FG TO INSTALL CCTV MONITORING CAMERAS IN EVERY HOME BY FEBRUARY

VIDEO: Must Watch: Dr Swen Magic Bread

Continue reading>> VIDEO: Must Watch: Dr Swen Magic Bread

UNABLE TO ATTRACT EVEN A SINGLE GIRL, FRUSTRATED MAN SUES CLOSE UP

In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal embarrassment for Unilever Nigeria Limited (UNL), a 26-year-old man has filed a case against the company, which owns the Close Up toothpaste brand, for ‘cheating’ and causing him ‘mental suffering’.

Continue reading>> UNABLE TO ATTRACT EVEN A SINGLE GIRL, FRUSTRATED MAN SUES CLOSE UP

TOP 5 PICS OF THE DAY : HILARIOUS HEAD REPLACEMENT PART 2

Continue reading>> TOP 5 PICS OF THE DAY : HILARIOUS HEAD REPLACEMENT PART 2

For the best satire news, visit www.hotswen.com daily. We wish you a very prosperous new year.

Craziest News Updates for Friday December 27, 2013

2013-12-27T08:46:00.001-08:00

JOKES: AKPOS ASSIGNMENT

Akpos is a varsity student. The Lecturer ordered him to write an apology letter showing why he didn’t submit an assignment.

Dear Lecturer,
Continue reading>> JOKES: AKPOS ASSIGNMENT

I SHOULD HAVE REMAINED WITH AMBER ROSE- KANYE WEST

American hip hop artist, Kanye West has taken to twitter to rant about how his music career has been crashing since he started dating Kim Kardashian.
Kanye wrote on twitter “I can’t remember how I met Kim but I know......I SHOULD HAVE REMAINED WITH AMBER ROSE- KANYE WEST

LAGOS STATE GOVERNMENT INTRODUCES WHEEL BARROW RACING COMPETITION.

The Lagos state government has introduced a new sport in the state. This new sport is known as “Wheel Barrow Racing”, it involves several people participating in a racing competition by pushing wheel barrows very .....LAGOS STATE GOVERNMENT INTRODUCES WHEEL BARROW RACING COMPETITION.

Hot Swen Facts - Part 4

1. 3% of all ex-priests head-butt people when people aren't looking

2. 60% of all magicians become single parents during public holidays
Continue Reading >>Hot Swen Facts - Part 4

FG POSTPONES XMAS AS BOKO HARAM INJURES SANTA CLAUS

Santa Claus arrived in Abuja,Nigeria today on an invitation by Nigeria’s first lady, Mama Peace, to celebrate Christmas with the Jonathan family as well as close friends of the family but was injured a few minutes ago inside Santa’s Castle due to an explosion which the dreaded Boko Haram sect has claimed responsibility for.........FG POSTPONES XMAS AS BOKO HARAM INJURES SANTA CLAUS

For the best satire news, visit www.hotswen.com daily.

Craziest News Updates for Saturday December 21, 2013

2013-12-21T11:44:00.003-08:00

Hot Swen Facts - Part 3

1. 46% of all men eat people during summer

2. 69% of all Nigerian politicians take classes in Dictatorship twice every week

Continue Reading >> Hot Swen Facts - Part 3

POLICE ARRESTS KID FOR WATCHING CHINESE MOVIE

The Nigerian Police Force has arrested a twelve year old boy, Obinna, for watching a Chinese movie on his phone.

Continue Reading>> POLICE ARRESTS KID FOR WATCHING CHINESE MOVIE

TOP 5 CRAZY PICTURE ROAD SIGNS - PART 3

See the five crazy pics >> TOP 5 CRAZY PICTURE ROAD SIGNS - PART 3

OBAMA INTRODUCES EDIBLE MONEY TO FIGHT HUNGER

President Barack Obama shocked the world today with an unprecedented answer to America’s hunger problem.

Continue Reading >> OBAMA INTRODUCES EDIBLE MONEY TO FIGHT HUNGER

JOKES: AKPOS AND THE BEGGAR (HILARIOUS)

For a very long time a guy Akpos had been battling with a leak in his roof.

One night there was a heavy downpour and he had to move from one corner of the room to the other, to avoid drops from the roof.

Continue Reading >> JOKES: AKPOS AND THE BEGGAR (HILARIOUS)

DAME PATIENCE JONATHAN WELCOMES BABY GIRL

The President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, President Jonathan, welcomed a baby girl into the family last week as his wife, Dame Patience Jonathan, put to bed at the Presidential Hospital.

Continue Reading >> DAME PATIENCE JONATHAN WELCOMES BABY GIRL

ARSENAL IS FINISHED-RAMSEY

Midfielder Aaron Ramsey has come out to say that Arsenal is finished after their Manchester City mauling.
Ramsey feels the defeat has done a permanent damage on the team

Continue Reading>> ARSENAL IS FINISHED-RAMSEY

For the most interesting stories, visit www.hotswen.com daily.

Craziest News Updates for Tuesday December 17, 2013

2013-12-17T10:25:00.003-08:00

ANDRE VILLAS-BOAS TO COACH SUPER EAGLES AT 2014 WORLD CUP

The Federal Government has approved the release of new Nigerian Naira currency notes featuring former President Olusegun Obasanjo on the new 5000 naira notes.
"We would rather have placed Fela Anikulapo Kuti on the N5000 note but because he had never been President of Nigeria, we couldn't.
Continue Reading>> ANDRE VILLAS-BOAS TO COACH SUPER EAGLES AT 2014 WORLD CUP

OBASANJO'S PICTURE ON NEW N5000 NOTES!

The Nigerian Sports Ministry has hired Andre Villas-Boas, the recently sacked manager of Tottenham Hotspur, to coach the Super Eagles into victory at the Brazil 2014 world cup.

Continue Reading>> OBASANJO'S PICTURE ON NEW N5000 NOTES!

For the craziest Swens, visit www.HotSwen Dot Com daily.

Craziest News Updates for Monday December 16, 2013

2013-12-17T06:53:00.004-08:00

MAN DISCOVERS HIS WIFE IS A FISH ON WEDDING NIGHT

A newly wedded man, Uzondu Charles, from Imo state contacted Hot Swen Media today with claims that his newly wedded wife, Anita, is a fish.
Mr Charles said “I dated Anita for two years before we finally decided to tie the nuptial knot. While we were dating, Anita was a strong advocate of ‘No Sex before marriage’ so we never got down.
Continue Reading>> MAN DISCOVERS HIS WIFE IS A FISH ON WEDDING NIGHT

PHOTO OF THE DAY : AFTER ENGLISH EXAM

Craziest News Updates for Saturday December 14, 2013

2013-12-14T11:55:00.002-08:00

YOU MIGHT SPEND 15 YEARS IN JAIL IF YOU INSULT PRESIDENT JONATHAN AGAIN

The Nigerian senate just passed a new bill into law to reduce the number of insults constantly being rained on President Jonathan. The law states that anyone found guilty of calling the Nigerian president uncomplimentary names on social media would be arrested and sent to jail for 15 years without facing the law court.
Continue Reading >> YOU MIGHT SPEND 15 YEARS IN JAIL IF YOU INSULT PRESIDENT JONATHAN AGAIN

JOKES: WELCOME to the "STOCK" MARKET

A man appeared in one village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10.
The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around their village, they went out to the forest and started catching them.
Continue Reading >> JOKES: WELCOME to the "STOCK" MARKET

Jokes: The Accident

A woman and a man were involved in a car accident.
It was a bad one.
Both of their cars were totally demolished but amazingly neither of them was hurt.
Continue Reading >> Jokes: The Accident

KCEE LIMPOPO EXPOSED

Kcee is one of the richest artists in the world, ahead of Jay Z and P Diddy and makes most of his money from his oil and gas business. He recently got two new oil wells worth billions of dollars as a birthday present from the FG
Continue Reading >> KCEE LIMPOPO EXPOSED

PHOTO OF THE DAY: POLICE MAN BREAKING THE LAW

LAGBAJA TAKES MASK OFF TO HONOUR NELSON MANDELA

Many Nigerians have always wondered who the mystery man behind the mask is. Lagbaja is a popular Nigerian artist with several songs to his name.

He is known for his unique costume which includes a mask to cover his face. Lagbaja however, broke defiled the mask tradition by taking off his mask at the Hot Swen concert on Friday in honour of the Late Nelson Mandela.
Continue Reading >> LAGBAJA TAKES MASK OFF TO HONOUR NELSON MANDELA

JOKES: AKPOS AND THE PASTOR

Akpos was coming out from the church after service, and the preacher was standing at the door as usual to shake hands.

He grabbed Akpos by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him,"You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

Continue Reading >> JOKES: AKPOS AND THE PASTOR

For interesting updates, visit www.hotswen.com daily. Have a splendid weekend.

Craziest News Updates for Tuesday December 10, 2013

2013-12-10T10:34:00.001-08:00

Jokes: Akpos In A Public Toilet. ( Hilarious)

Akpos entered a public toilet.

As he started to do his business a voice from the next toilet said; Hi! how are you doing?.

Embarrassed, Akpos replied; I'm doing fine.

The voice said; So what are you up to?

Continue Reading Here>> Jokes: Akpos In A Public Toilet. ( Hilarious)

Hot Swen Top Ten Facts - Part 2

1. A baby's first poo on average is 8 feet long.. Taller than an adult human

2. The internet has killed more humans than all the wars in history

3. "Laser" is an acronym for Last Attack Seen Ever ( The "R" was a mistake)

Continue Reading to see the meaning of Jonaphobia >> Hot Swen Top Ten Facts - Part 2

MAN ARRESTED FOR BRINGING NAKED HORSE TO RACING FIELD

When Hot Swen media spoke to Mr Akpors in a police cell, he said “Some girls there were putting on only pant and bra some had very short micro-mini skirts on exposing everything , that is not indecent exposure abi? It is me that I brought ordinary horse that is indecent exposure .

Continue Reading Here>> MAN ARRESTED FOR BRINGING NAKED HORSE TO RACING FIELD

You should not miss these hot ones:

Hot Swen Lemon Fact for Today

FG ODERS ARREST OF CHILDREN PLAYING POLICE AND THIEF

TOP 5 PICS OF THE DAY : HILARIOUS HEAD REPLACEMENT

MTN NIGERIA TO HIRE PRIMARY SCHOOL KIDS TO MEET CLIENT DEMANDS

PHOTO OF THE DAY: WHO ROCKED THE GOLD CHAIN BEST

Craziest News Updates for December 6, 2013

2013-12-06T11:51:00.003-08:00

WHY YOU SHOULD STOP USING YOUR PHONES IMMEDIATELY

Did you know that HIV/AIDS cannot be transmitted through hand shake or hugging but it can be transmitted through phone calls and text messaging?

Continue Reading Here >> WHY YOU SHOULD STOP USING YOUR PHONES IMMEDIATELY

Nelson Mandela was a Great Rapper - Patience Jonathan

“Good Morin my fellow people, Me, my husband and the plentiful peoples of one great Nigeria send our condolence and congratulated South Africa peoples for the die of their president yesterday evening. We are sadness to welcome the great man.

Continue Reading Here >> Nelson Mandela was a Great Rapper - Patience Jonathan

President Jonathan Sets up Panel to Investigate Nelson Mandela’s Death

According to the Special Adviser to the President on Foreign Affairs, Mr Henry Abati, President Jonathan has set up a three-man panel to investigate the demise of the great African Legend, Nelson Mandela.

Continue Reading Here >> President Jonathan Sets up Panel to Investigate Nelson Mandela’s Death

Nelson Mandela's Death - APC Acuses PDP

The , All Progressives Congress (APC) has charged the Police and the general public to hold opposition party Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) responsible for the death of the great African legend, Nelson Mandela.

Continue Reading Here >> Nelson Mandela's Death - APC Acuses PDP

Boko Haram Claims Responsibility For Nelson Mandela's Death

“Look at what happened to Paul Walker, we are also responsible for that, although we didn't plan to Kill Nelson Mandela , it was a mistake and I must admit that he was a great man ” Shekau said

Continue Reading Here >> Boko Haram Claims Responsibility For Nelson Mandela's Death

We Promise To Always Have You Entertained

2013-12-04T10:56:00.000-08:00

You are welcome to Hot Swen . "Swen" is simply "News" spelt backwards. So instead of using "Hot News" we decided to call our site "Hot Swen" ; It sounds good yeah ?

So basically www.HotSwen.com is a spoof news site – this means that all the stories are for entertainment purposes and are not factual. We try to look at the latest happenings around the world and then bring them to you in a funny "upside down " manner just to have you entertained. It's all fictional. We know the real news could be really boring sometimes so we brought you Hot Swen .
Laughter is the Best Medicine .Humor is infectious. The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any cough, sniffle, or sneeze. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy. Laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in the body. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, this priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use We promise to always keep you entertained.

For further information, kindly contact:

Prince I.D
Founder/Ceo
HotSwen.com
Email: ceo@hotswen.com

For More Info www.hotswen.com

Craziest News Updates for December 3, 2013

2013-12-03T12:41:00.002-08:00

I Will Join APC if ASUU Calls Off Strike- President Jonathan

A source close to the presidency told Hot Swen media this morning, that President Jonathan has promised to abandon the People’s Democratic Party (PDP) for the newly established All Progressives Congress (APC) if the ASUU strike is called off next week.

According to the source, President Jonathan held a closed door meeting with the leadership of the APC and appealed to them to intervene in the over four months old strike which the academic staff union of Universities (ASUU) have refused to end.
Continue Reading Here >> I Will Join APC if ASUU Calls Off Strike- President Jonathan

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Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny )

Here are six very funny and interesting life lessons you should see and share with the people you love.
Lesson 1: Naked Wife

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…

“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Continue Reading Here >> Six Funny Life Lessons ( Very Funny )

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Ball Splits Into Two During Football Match.

The match between The Bulls of Eyinba and the defending champions, Kano Pillars, started off like any other match. Things however, got a little messy at the twenty third minute when Kano Pillars striker, Bala Musa, fired a very hard shot. The ball hit Eyinba defender, Efe Paul, on his forehead causing a minor injury. Efe was assisted out of the pitch by the paramedics so the match could continue.

After waiting for a few minutes, the ball was nowhere to be found. There was no extra ball on the field and the Kanu Pillars coach was seen dashing out of the stadium after collecting eighty naira from the referee. He purchased a new ball across the road and dashed back into the pitch handing over the new ball to the referee.

Continue Reading Here >> Ball Splits Into Two During Football Match.

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Iraq Offers To Send One Million Lecturers To Nigeria.

New Unilag V.C

It is no longer news that university lecturers of public universities across Nigeria have been on strike since July, 2013. This has resulted in the partial paralysis of the academic sector in Nigeria. The federal government has tried to persuade the striking ASUU lecturers to return to their classrooms to no avail. The lecturers have insisted on a no retreat, no surrender stand, meaning that the government has to meet all of their demands before they resume work.

The minister of education, Mr Wike Wyke, announced on Hot Swen T.V network this morning that he had fired all the striking lecturers with immediate effect for refusing to return to their teaching jobs despite the intervention of the country’s president. Following this announcement, Mr Wike urged all qualified candidates to apply directly to the federal ministry of education as the country plans to employ one million new lecturers. He further stated that applications from foreigners are also welcomed.

Immediately this announcement was made, Hot Swen news learnt that the Iraqi government has offered to send one million lecturers to all universities across Nigeria to assist the government.

Continue Reading Here >> Iraq Offers To Send One Million Lecturers To Nigeria.

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The New Sony PlayStation 4 was designed by a 6 year old Nigerian Pupil.

The new Sony PlayStation 4 was designed by a six year old Nigerian pupil, Akpos Edet, from warri Nigeria. Sony Inc.’s chief engineer, Mr Fred Wisconsin, said ‘I never knew so much talent existed in Africa.

My team and I came to Nigeria on an invitation by the Port Harcourt state governor. On our way to the airport to board a plane back to America, we came across this little boy playing by the side of the road. I wondered what kind of mother would leave her little boy all alone by the road side. We decided to accost the toddler and we were really marvelled by the way he was responding to our questions; what was even more surprising was the fact that he had a sheet of paper and a pen with which he was designing some complex electronic circuits. He later told us that he was designing a video game and had to leave his house to avoid distractions.

Continue Reading Here >> The New Sony PlayStation 4 was designed by a 6 year old Nigerian Pupil.

Visit www.hotswen.com daily for the craziest news/swen on the planet.