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FrickForehead More Like An 8-HeadForgive Us Father For We Have SimmsFresh IDFrightening Murder Threats That Shouldn't Be Taken SeriouslyFuck That Team AnywayFun With SlanderFutbol/Soccer What's the DifferenceFuuuuuuuuuuuckGW Stands For Gutless Wonder AKA Roy WilliamsGames Our Wives Shan't Attend And Neither Shall WeGangs of New York is High Quality...Like Dane CookGangstasGap-Toothed Idiots from OregonGatorade Sponsorship Yields Piles of Junk Mail Instead of BenjaminsGay Former Chiefs ReceiversGay Websites You Should Not Visit From Work...Or Ever ReallyGay Words Like Looksie and A-bootGemma AtkinsonGenuine NuttinessGeorge Bush Dodges Balls And ShoesGeorge SteinbrennerGettin' PaidGetting Your Jaw Jacked Like the Liberty BellGhetto BurgersGhostsGilbert Arenas LeagueGlam Rock Was Pretty Much an Atrocious ConceptGlassesGlobalismGod's Fantasy Football TeamGod's Murderous LinebackerGoin' to the Clitty TubGoing To Bed Knowing You'll Have NightmaresGolden Buffalo ShowersGood BehaviorGood Defenses Are Like Good Blowjobs -- Not Sure How You Get 'Em But You'll Take 'EmGood Homeless SignsGood Lord Is That A Piece of My BrainGood Ol' BoysGood Times Is Not Synonymous With Days of DiarrheaGoogleGorilla MaskGratuitious GloatingGreat White Hopes Feel Like Ties Should Go to the RunnerGrillzGrown Men Named DonnieGruntled EmployeesGuys That Aren't Afraid of Using Their Birth NamesGuys Who Beat Holyfield then Lose to Holyfield then Beat Holyfield then Overeat and Batter Their FamiliesHFCD Non-SuccessorsHFCD SeniorHOF Hockey Players and Dwarfish Black ManBoysHa Ha You Said Pee Oh LeeHal McRaeHalf-assed ResearchHalftime UselessnessHallucinogenic Drugs -- Not Just for Hippies AnymoreHangovers Like J.R. From Dallas...UndyingHank III Beats Hank Jr.Hard Core Man On Man ActionHarmless WagersHashtags Are For The Twitters RetardHaving Viewed That I Have No Idea Why the Penis Pump Is Associated With SwedenHe Was Raised By Dingos Dingos I Tell Ya'He a Dee-Jay Y'allHeart-Shaped Candies That Say "Bang Me"Helena ChristensenHere Comes the Clark JudgeHerman "Thanks for the Memories But Not Really" EdwardsHeroinHey Batter Batter...Batter Batter...HillbilliesHis Junk Smells Like PieHis Name Was Fredrick Paulsen His Name Was Fredrick PaulsenHistoric FailureHistorically Speaking There's No Freaking Hockey in the SummertimeHoGnation Powers...Pro-CreateHogsHomemade FacilitiesHomerun Free-Agency SigningsHorrendous Jokes About Salad DressingHorrible White Recording ArtistsHorses With Broken LegsHot Football Player WivesHot Russian GirlsHot SausageHow Could You Be So Obtuse?How Did This Happen?Howsam's DonkeysHuntingHurry Up SundayHypocrisyI Am Banky's Reddened RetinaI Dunno It Just Got Stuck ThereI Hate When I Sound Like A Run-of-the-Mill ColumnistI Haven't Worked That Hard on a Post Since the Bush AdministrationI Just Found Four More Places In Which I'd Like To Be Asked To "Pack My Knives"I Knew the French Did Something Besides FoodI Like ScoringI Need A ShowerI Never Thought 4-12 Could Look So GoodI Suppose This Is Where We'll Get the Tag "Joe Montana Also Likes the Prison Showers"I Suppose the Baby Should Get a Label TooI Totally Wouldn't Hate My Job If This Were My JobI'd Like To Buy Some New Material PatI'd Zamboni ThatI'll Take Playing the Links Isn't Just a Golf Reference Anymore For 400 AlexI'll Take Rappers Named After Items in the Freezer For $200 AlexI'm Sure That Guy Blogs Just Like That and Those Players Spit Game At One Another Like Ev'ry Single DayI'm Way Too Hungover to Manage This Much InformationI'm Way Too Lazy To Tag All the TeamsIchiro Suzuki's Infamous Line About Kansas City on Bob Costas' HBO ShowIdiot BallIf You Digress Twice You're Back on TrackIf You Don't Knowshon Ya' Betta' Push SomebodyImage TheftIn Goes FrazierIn New England They Play To Win the Big GameIn The Wake Of Attempted MurderIneptitudeInfluential AuthorsInsane Central-American TraffickingInsanityInsurance FraudIntergalactic Interleague Play on the InterWebsIraqIt'd Be Cool If Bob Uecker Was Calling This GameIt's Entirely Too Hot Out for Day BaseballIt's Entirely Too Hot Out for Day Baseball Or Anything For That MatterIt's Football Season You StoogeIt's Getting Dusty In hereIt's Not A CompoundIt's Only Dirty If You Get Caught And Even Then Suck ItIt's The One That Says Bad Motherfucker On ItJ.D. SalingerJaWayne WoweJack Murphy StadiumJaclyn DeniseJager Might Not Be Good for You After AllJake Peavy Is Covered In Either Shit Or Pine TarJames BaldwinJames BrownJared AllenJay's Gems and Cassel's ClipboardsJayden ColeJayne MansfieldJeff Kent's MoustacheJesus I Needed A Red Bull To Get Through That SnoozerJoBrosJoeMorganismJohn Lynch is Not WelcomeJonesyJuggalos Aren't People TooKC Minus Three Equals FiveKansas City KingsKarl Mecklenburg Was AwesomeKarla SpiceKat Von DKeary Is Still A Fucking Girl's NameKeeley HazellKeen But Uneducated UtteringsKeepin' It Real Dry and StaleKenyon Martin Will Devour You AliveKevin Costner Will Bang Your Wife and Lie About ItKittens Kittens KittensKitty Wants Some CandyKnocking Lindros the Fuck OutKnowledge Is King But Berets Are for JackassesKnowshon Is PowerKyle Farnsworth Will Kill Your Family Unless They Refuse to Call Off the DogsKyle Shanahan Is So Proud of YouLakersLame Lines Associated With Aces and MyBooksLame Stadium ChantsLance-ing the problem areaLap Dances for ColonesLarge Servings of BullshitLas Vegas Loved the HorsesLate-Night Talk Show Hosts That Probably Used to BlazeLeather HelmetsLeaves of Toronto MapleLed ZeppelinLefthanded ComplimentsLemursLendale Smells FoodLess Monumental But Somehow More Disappointing Outings at FenwayLessons in One-TimingLife and DeathLight Rail Bar Crawl Makes Head HurtLink TrickeryLinks We Don't Need No Stinkin' LinksLittle League BallLodi Dody I Gots Me A HottieLong CareersLong Drawn-Out TenuresLooks Like Old No. 7 Beat Me To ThisLou Saban and the Bad Old DaysLuna de MielLynching PartyMad Wet HensMadden '08Made-Up WeekdaysMai TaisMaine FootballMajor League Baseball's Major League DraftMake-Believish PeopleMakin' Dem EndsMakin' Excuses EarlyMakin' Reck-uhdsMaking Fun of Ex-Members of Up With PeopleMan Do These Guys Ever Shut Up?Man That Is GrossMan WigsMan's Best FriendManning/Jenks SandwichesManny Being EliminatedMaplewood Always Up to No GoodMarino and Unitas Was Mo' Betta'Mark KiszlaMarmalard's Mom Might Like HimMary PiemonteMatt "Dirty" Sanchez Is Your New Messiah DenverMatt MillenMaturityMaybe They Should've Named Him Coco B. WareMaybe We Should Name This Feature "Let's See What's On the BoobTube"Mayor McVesco's Ill-Fated Campaign PromisesMcDonald's Will Kill YouMeal-Wah-KayMedia-ocreMeet MaddenMegan FoxMessage (Boards) in a BottleMessy DrawersMetallica -- Still As Bad As They Ever WereMexican League BaseballMichael KnightMichael Knight and Dwarfish Black ManBoysMichelle McMurryMichigan HockeyMickey DMidge: Not Just Another Dwarfish Black ManBoy AnymoreMike GordonMike Leach RulesMike TysonMilton BradleyMinding The StoveMinding the NetsMinnesota HockeyMinnesota I mean Los Angeles LakersMinnesota VikingsMissed diagnosesMissy the MissileMixed Martial Ass-BeatingsMo' Like She-LiMoby SongsMocking With the Help of the Hardcore OpiatesMonday MaunderingsMonfort MeatMoran AtiasMorbidityMore Reading Than You Wanted to DoMore Soccer Picks For That AssMormonsMr. T.Mullets...They're Not Just For Hillbillies AnymoreMy Inclement Weather's Actin' Up AgainMy Life Would Only Be a Fraction Of Itself Had It Not Been for the WWFMy New York Rims and My Gold Tooth DisplayedMy Sports Life is a (Punk) Rock SongNL CentralName's Peter -- Peter GoezinyaNarcissisimNashville PredatorsNational League Baseball Is Sorta Like the Minor League for the ALNew Blue TraditionNew Charloklaorleanshoma CityNew OrleansNext Time Just Stick With The Rabbit EarsNiche sportsNick LoweryNicotine...It's Not Just For Adults AnymoreNight FutbolNiko Freaking KoutouvidesNine TimesNo Disprespect To The OrientalsNo Not That DraftNoMeansNoNobody Cares About Them Other Teams Right?Non-California DreamingNon-ConfidenceNon-Corporate Record Labels RuleNon-Handshakes R ClassiezNon-Playoff Playoff (Playoff?) GamesNon-PornNot Having an Embed Link'll Make a Guy Wanna Cap SuckasNot Joining the Mile-High Club En Route to GlendaleNot Worth The WaitNotre Dame HockeyNotre Dame Is Nearly All That Matters In College FootballNotre Dame embarrassmentsNursery RhymesObnoxious Chants That Are Better Left At HomeObservant JewsOdd Little Coin TossesOh God We Are All Going to Die Someday and I am Freaking OutOh It Hurts It BurnsOh No She Di-uhn'tOld Man WinterOld MediaOld PeopleOldiesOlga PolitiOliver NorthOlivia WildeOn To The PornOn-Air BlundersOne Last NFL ContestOne More Reason To Be Thrilled About the Barrage of Hockey Posts ComingOne of Your Few ResponsibilitesOne-Time AppearancesOr Hit Me With Your Car And Save The BulletsOral RobOrange BucksnortsOther People's LombardisOur Lord and Savior Tim TebowOutright JealousyOverdone EncouragementOverpaying for Sloppy SecondsOysterheadPar-TayParenthoodPass Catching Is a Good Euphemism for Bonser BoofingPaul Can't HackettPaul O'Neill Is A DickPearl Jam Is Only A Sandwich Spread NowPeyton's Place is in the HospitalPhantasticPhil Pritchard Cashes A Wonderful Check But Gives Some of It to Brian Engblom's BarberPhilatelyPhotoshopPhotoshopped Images of Star Wars Heroes That Include Dwarfish Black ManBoysPiles of Denver Nuggets BroPirate MoviesPittsburgh -- City of Rapes Fondles and Drugs Oh MyPittsburgh -- Where They Allegedly Don't Just Fondle Kids They Also Rape and Kill PuppiesPlacing What Little Journalistic Integrity I Had In the Center of a Dart BoardPlatooning CatchersPlease Do Not Call it a MartyBall ComebackPlease Don't Sue UsPlease Make It EndPodcastingPoetryPoon of the Pac-10Poop-Flavored CocktailsPoowuhl Peeahs Has A Wicked Good JumpahPop Warner StudlinessPopeye's ChickenPopular GuysPork LoinPorn Star RevengePorn Stars and Body PaintPosition ChangesPostal-(Postal?)Laden Sloots and Dwarfish Black ManBoysPosts That Might Get Me StabbedPosts That Might Make Us or Break UsPosts That'll Put You to SleepPounding the Norwegian WoodPre-Draft TradesPredominantly OrangePreposterous ClaimsPretty Big Saturdays At the Home DepotPreviews Predictions and PlaymatesPrincess LeiaPrison RapeProblems Going Wee-WeeProtestantism v. CatholicismPukingPulling Out All the Stops in One ShotPunc-punc-punc-tuationPurple-Headed People EatersPut Something On They AssPut a Fork in ItPutting Days of the Week in Your Post Titles is Really GayQuaaludesQuality Starts Is a Metaphor For Something I Haven't Figured Out YetQuickiesQuikTrip Is the BombQuinner Quinner Chicken DinnerQuittersQuiz-eenRacin'Radeo SuicideRah Rah ReeRaheem the DreamRamnationRants That Would Make Jim Mora ProudRany JazayerliRare Competence in the City of FountainsReal-Life Bumper CarsReally Awesome and Well-Predicted 4-12 CampaignsReally Even Worse AnnouncementsReally Even Worse Feature TitlesReally Good Teams with Only One RingReally Hammered PeopleReally Late HomeworkReally Not-Good Teams with TwoReally Really Bad PoetryRecycled TrashRed Sock Nation -- Where They Admire Pittsburgh--Home of Pedophiles I Mean PierogiesRed-Alert Deuce DroppingsRedefining "Hitting the Canvas" "Spitbuckets" and "Body Blows"Remember Episode of "Gimme a Break" Where They All Gave Each Other 'Sparkys'?Remember When EA Was Just Part of EA SportsRemember the Wrestler Named Brother Love That Guy SuckedRenal FailureReport CardsRepublicanist MoronicalsRequests From the Boss(es)Restaurant Wars No Not the ShowRetardationRhymes With MannyRich Harden's Your Ice Cream ManRich KarlisRichard FordRickeySpeak Jokes Never TireRickeykkakesRobert AyersRocaWear is for Douche BagsRocky III/A-Team Stars and Dwarfish Black ManBoysRoll TideRollin with Mike NolanRon BehagenRoy F AlmaniaRoyals BlipsRugbySEC PoonSISabrina JaneSack LunchesSad Jersey CollectionsSaint ValentineSalma HayekSan Francisco 49ersSan Jose SharksScotTodd HalioliScott Baio Pulled Truckloads of WoolScott Hastings is Almost 7 Feet TallScoutin' Those Tradition Tuesday Hot Chicks T-Hen Nighttime StyleSean Patrick Gallagher Is a Wicked PissahSean SalisburySeattle SeahawksSecede AlreadySecond No Third Mortgages on the HouseSelf-inflicted head injuriesSelling Your CrapSequel or Original -- Who Ya' Got?She Coulda Been a ContendaShe Don't Use JellyShitting One's ShortsShort HosesSilly GirlsSilver and (Quarter)blacks That Aren't GoodSkinemaxSkip BaylessSleeping at a Super 8 is actually far more disgusting than a swamp.Slim ShadySloppy PostingSloths Sloths SlothsSlovakia -- We're Not the CzechsSlow Guys in the SecondarySnapping Camera-Phone Photos of Your Old Non-HD TV Reeks of Professionalism And Is...PricelessSoccer in the MF'in DaytimeSomeone Get Me the Copy DeskSomeone Rearranged the InningsSore CoccygesSoul-GloSpamSpeaking in TonguesSpeech Impediments?Spelunking With Dwarfish Black ManBoysSports AnalogiesSports of a Racial Variety Be on dWil's MindSteve DurbanoSticky Fingers Was Not Just A Great Stones AlbumStomping That Cracka's Head Wasn't Very WitteStraight Consonants Across Your Jersey BackStrange AwardsStranger DangerStubTubes for HalloweeniesStubbornnessStuff You Can Find Anywhere Else But Is Way Better HereSubstitute Teachers Takin Y'All To School YoSubterranean Homesick VarmintsSuper Huard BrothersSuper Secret Reserve Piggy Bank of Benjamin CheeseSupernatural Joe Maddon And His Glasses Of DoomSuspended ShenanigansSweet FootageSweet Web Site Name BrosephSyracuseT-Hen Refuses To Go AwayTPJTacos=RunsTall HogsTampa Bay LightningTar BabiesTatum Bell Hates Freedom and Will Snatch Your SamsoniteTeams That Did Away With Their Ultra-Cool LogoTeeth GrittingTennis HockeyTest KitchenTex-AssThat Actually Looks Like Jake Plummer You IdiotThat Belt Looks Really Gay From da' BoofThat Brewers Game is the Only One That Sounds Like It Wouldn't Put You to SleepThat God-Forsaken Race CardThat Post Made Me Spill Some Gravy on My GibletsThat Post Was Horrible But At Least It Came With a Beverage NapkinThat Post Was Really Bad But Pretty Stinkin' FunThat Was A Bit Too Preachy For Our Tastes Cuz'That Was Entirely Too Much Baseball in One PostThat Was Entirely Too Much Work For One PostThat Was Way Too Serious For This Joke Of A PublicationThat's ArgentintionalThat's Not What We Mean By Tight EndThat's Some Jacked-Up Shit There BroThat's Some Matrixy Stuff Right ThereThat's What She SaidThat's a Dumb Game and You Can't Make Me PlayThe Amazing Void Once Known as The Montreal ExposThe American League CentralThe American League EastThe American League WestThe Anaheim Kings of Los AngelesThe Apple of Seven's EyeThe Armed Forces Never Looked So GoodThe Awesomeness of DomesticityThe Baby BearsThe Bad SoxThe Bidwill Family Is A Family Of VampiresThe Big XIIThe Black Hole Almost Looks Pretty Good From HereThe Brothers PattersonThe Chiefs Hate FreedomThe CloserThe CommishThe Conn Smythe TrophyThe DThe Dawning of a New EraThe Defense RestsThe Denizens of the SeaThe DizzotteThe Double Rainbow ConnectionThe End Is Nigh I HopeThe Eternal Misery of Northern OhioThe Exhibition SeasonThe Fukudome Will Mess You UpThe Future Los Angeles ChargersThe Good Ol' Days Were Full of Tub Girls and Lemon PartiesThe Good SoxThe Grateful DeadThe Great OneThe Hater RaterThe HoG's MDLThe HoG...Where Friday References Go To DieThe Hostess with the MostessThe Hot Stove Is Liable To Scorch A NutThe Ice Is HardThe Immortal Marv LevyThe International House of PancakesThe Inverted-Vagina Symbol Rides AgainThe Inverted-Vagina Symbol Rides No MoreThe Iron TriangleThe Iron Triangle's Incredible Jersey Collection of Former PlayersThe Iron-Tripod AngleThe Jays Are Still BlueThe Jersey Shore is Retarded YoThe KennedysThe Larry Johnson Not Associated With the Inverted Vagina SymbolThe Lefty's the SleeperThe Love Child of Flavor Flav' and Clubber Lang Come HitherThe Metric SystemThe MuppetsThe NFLThe National League CentralThe National League EastThe National League WestThe Never-Ending Intoxication of Orange-and-Blue Sunsets...The New Meaning of "Screamin' Jay"The Nolan HeightsThe Non-Gay Daniel Day Lewis Fan ClubThe NugeThe O Versus the DThe Old ManThe Olive Garden Makes Food for GoblinsThe Olympics Really Fucked That One UpThe Original $55 ManThe OsThe Pine Tar IncidentThe Plural of Seaman Is On Your ChinThe Post of the BeastThe Raiders Are Not GoodThe Ray Lewis Crime WatchThe Rolling StonesThe Ryan Express Will Not Stop in Your TownThe Second AmendmentThe Series of TubesThe Sex Cannon Needs Reloadin'The Sprint CenterThe Tebow-nerThe Thinking Man's TeamThe Thought of a White-Guy 'Fro Cap Makes My Skin HurtThe Tight End's A Sleeper Unless It's Jeremy ShockeyThe Tight End's Not the Sleeper in BuffaloThe Tight End's Not the Sleeper on the Program CoverThe Toronto BillsThe Tradition Has Officially Made Me Cry Even HarderThe Tradition's Never Made Me Cry This Hard BeforeThe Vermin Orange CountyThe WhaleThe Wide World of All Four Professional SportsThe Widespread Scorn of Malcolm GladwellThe Wife Seeth the Wife Destroyeth the BlogThe Word Fuck Is VersatileThe Worldwide Idea StealerThem 'BoysThemes? Who Needs Themes?There's No Staff Meeting in the Champagne RoomThese Broads Are InsaneThese Kids TodayThey Don't Allow Real Non-Fake Tickets at InVesCoThey Should Sell Perjured Home Run Sandwiches at ATandT ParkThievesThings Will Be Better in the New BuildingThink I'll Take a Nap NowThis Blog Is Not About Television EitherThis Blog Is Starting to Look a Little Too Yuni-esque-yThis Charlie Don't HustleThis Computer Was FreeThis Just In -- Cameras Are CoolThis Post Wasn't Very Good or Very LongThree Cheers For the Non-Home TeamThursday Night LightsTight CoordinationTime TravelingTodd HaleyToe-Ron-TowToken Karate Kid QuotesTony Gonzalez Feels Strange in OctoberTony Gonzalez Is A Dirty BirdToothless BumpkinsTopics One Should Certainly Never Get Three Posts Out OfTotally Organic BroTownes Van ZandtTrade Winds Ain't Just a Construction Company AnymoreTraitorsTrent Edwards Is Both Loose and a ManiacTroublesome BackfieldsTruancyTrue BromanceTurkey's the Sleeper on the Tight End's Day OffTurn Out The LightsTurn Out The Lights the Party's OverTurning Making Fun of Grown Men's Names Into A Part-Time JobTuxedo Donning Dwarfish Black ManBoysTwists of FizzateTwo Girls One (World) CupTwo Girls One CupTwo Posts in a Week? Who Runs This JointTwo Right Fielders Enter One Right Fielder LeavesTwo's Company But Three's So Not A CrowdTyler Bobby ThigpenTyler Hansbrough Looks Like a Gillless Guppy and So Do His Free-Throw ShotsU-20's a Real Cool Name for a TourneyUMKC RoosUber-Important But Really Short PostsUgly But Acceptable VictoriesUnchartable Muscle-Mass IndicesUndesired HiatusUnexpected South Park ReferencesUnlinkable BullshitUnsafetiesUnsophisticated Language Topped With Cheese and CornUpchuckingVagabondVancouver CanucksVanishing VrabelVern's Cinnamon Rolls Are AwesomeVic CarucciVickie 6Victor RileyVida GuerraVideo Games Are Cool NowVideo Games Are Cool and All But JesusVilenessVintage ZeppelinVotingWKRPWalt WhitmanWarm Fuzzy Father-Son StoriesWas That A Beer On Your Desk That You Just Dumped?Way More Images Than You Wanted Listed Individually...Or NotWayne Fontes' GhostWe Are Hot Chicks With GunsWe Are Hot Chicks With Lame TweetsWe Don't Chuck Octupii in TexasWe Don't Need No Stinkin' JuiceWe Fail to See the Connection Here TooWe Must Protect This House Except for When We're Leaving EarlyWe Now Love Walkoff WalkWe Should Hire Maurice Clarett to Snipe Gates and LTWe Stand Against WilliamsonWe'll Handle Our Own Excretory Matter From Here On OutWe're Optimistic That We're Gonna Beat The Hell Outta YouWe're Waiting By the Phone Kenny MayneWeeping MenWell-Thought-Out X-Rated Roccupied PredictionsWerdzWhale's Vagina HoopsWhale's Vagina StateWhat Happens in Vegas Is Broadcast to the WorldWhat If They Line Up 22 Tight Ends For Every Play of the Game?What a Bunch of JerksWhat is This A Game Show?What'choo Talkin' 'Bout WillisWhat's a Bemidji?When Animals AttackWhen Cops Are Cooler Than Snowplow DriversWhen Ladies Win in Tennis They Should Remove An Article of ClothingWhen The Last Episode of Kelsey Grammer's Show Aired Did They Say Down Goes Frasier?White People in the KitchenWho Gave This Guy A Philostopher's Hat?Who in the Hell Is Freddy Adu?Who's In Charge of This Catastrophe Anyway?WhoachesWhoever Plays To Win the Game the Least Gets an Ice-Cream ConeWhoresWhy Is He Trying To Sound Like Mark Kiszla?Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Is Probably An Awesome Fantasy Team NameWilliam of OckhamWinter ClassicWomen of Central AmericaWoodchucksWrite-Ups Nobody ReadsYes I Know the Round Has Already Started DickYet Another Jack JohnsonYoko MatsuganeYou Call That a Post?You Can Always Have Good Times When Your Name's "Tug"You Know You Make Me Want To Puke...Hold the Toilet Bowl and Puke...You Like A Big SpreadYou See LenDale White Is Fat Beacause He Always Has The Munchies You SeeYou Think That Was Long You Bet Your Sweet Ass It WasYou're Kind of Less of a D-Back Without a Big UnitYou're Next DenverYour Toe My SlabZach Thomassthe Halosthe HoGthe Party's OverLooking to get Adjusted Expectations added to FanGraphshttp://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)Blogger1728125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-1405483111739947347Fri, 02 Nov 2012 06:10:00 +00002012-11-02T01:22:01.957-05:00Brady Quinn Can Eat A Dog BiscuitDon't Ever Fuck With a Losing StreakI'd Gotten Kind of Used to the Expectationlessness of LosingKansas City ChiefsQuinner Quinner Chicken DinnerI’m writing this on a laptop (Editor's Note: So, uh, no clean-copy expectations), which I hate, and it’s quarter of one in the morning, which is ridiculous. More importantly: I haven’t written much of anything in over four months. That’s the worst thing of all. ‘Cept it’s not. No. The worst thing of all is the Kansas City Chiefs Football Club. Somewhere in the middle of all those axes of suck http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2012/11/its-only-fitting-that-this-was-brady.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-1295530660863196248Wed, 13 Jun 2012 15:26:00 +00002014-04-15T22:13:48.727-05:00BirdsFaulkneresque Long-windednessLife and DeathMostly Bad But Occasionally Decent WritingParenthoodThe WifeThink I'll Take a Nap NowTwitter When I first sat down to work on this thing, I did so because something was telling me there's a story in here somewhere. I wasn't sure where it was then, and as I put the finishing touches on it this morning, the feeling hasn't changed much. But whatever the thing was moved me enough to chisel it down to what follows. Maybe there's a story in it that I haven't even realized. Or better yet,http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2012/06/ten-birds.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-4037233658746821050Mon, 23 Apr 2012 17:24:00 +00002012-04-23T12:25:48.057-05:00Books Is Fer ReadinEditingESPNHockeyPhiladelphia Steak N' CheeseUntimely ReviewsSeveral months ago, I mentioned to the wife that I wanted a copy of John Buccigross’ book Jonesy. She’s a frequent Amazon orderer, and when she completed her next purchase, she got me one. And I was thrilled. If you don’t know who Keith Jones is, you’re probably not a hockey fan; he spent roughly a decade scoring goals for the Washington Capitals, Colorado Avalanche, and Philadelphia Flyers. Overhttp://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2012/04/several-months-ago-i-mentioned-to-wife.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-6663575737361407439Wed, 21 Mar 2012 12:31:00 +00002012-03-21T07:34:02.446-05:00Bill Self's BoysBooks Is Fer ReadinJ.D. SalingerJames BaldwinKansas JayhawksPirate MoviesReport CardsSack LunchesTwitterUntimely ReviewsI have a problem in that when I add something to my mental to-do checklist I can’t let it go until I get around to it. Maybe it's not a problem, but sometimes it feels problematic, as in: I should be able to let some things go. Add reading to the mix and the problem compounds. In a sense, I’m a bit of a book hoarder. I collect the ones I have loved to read, feel I should read, want my children tohttp://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2012/03/untimely-reviews-go-tell-it-on-mountain.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-6586025125816756890Wed, 14 Mar 2012 00:25:00 +00002012-03-13T23:29:21.672-05:00Bob DylanBon Jovi Fans Should Be GenocidedBooks Is Fer ReadinChuck KlostermanMetallica -- Still As Bad As They Ever WereMusicPhishStubTubesUntimely ReviewsAt the end of the summer, I started doing this “Untimely Review” series because, well, it seemed catchy and shit. If you’re familiar with this blog, you’ll note that you probably recall the series, and if you’re real familiar with this blog, you may have noticed that I’ve, at least temporarily, abandoned my efforts to write profanity-free content. I blame the kids with whom I work now. They have http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2012/03/untimely-reviews-fargo-rock-city.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-5570581101155629053Tue, 21 Feb 2012 21:13:00 +00002012-02-21T15:13:42.410-06:00A Little Bit of Sleep and a Lot of Red BullGettin' Old HereInsanityRestaurant Wars No Not the ShowTell the Chefs this Stuff is Low Grade Dog FoodWhite People in the KitchenWhat you are about to read can only be summarized as a terrible blog post. It's whiny, disjointed, the antithesis of concise, and above all, void of anything remotely entertaining unless you've ever been in charge of a kitchen. So go ahead and read it if you feel the need (read: are that incredibly bored), but know that I haven't had much time to write in the past three months, so I'm publishing http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2012/02/tuesday-tidbits-quite-possibly-post-so.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-4928439851158122188Mon, 30 Jan 2012 20:55:00 +00002012-01-30T14:55:00.145-06:00He a Dee-Jay Y'allMusicGreyboy-Era Correct by SOUNDLoCK recordings http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2012/01/just-because-ive-always-dug-dude.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-1079726701692349363Mon, 16 Jan 2012 19:17:00 +00002012-01-16T13:17:08.006-06:00Fun With lolzKansas City ChiefsPosts Nobody Reads Let Alone Comments OnScott PioliThose High Newspaperin' SalariesTwitter Sam Mellinger of The Kansas City Star writes, in addition to solid columns for the newspaper, a blog for the paper's Web site. You should check it out, and participate in his Twitter Tuesday feature, but don't do what I'm doing in this post. That's not the point of the feature. I put this together as a post, not because I want to make Mellinger work harder by clicking a link, or because I’m http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2012/01/thinking-out-loud-arrowhead-anxiety.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-295724203898544349Mon, 09 Jan 2012 19:57:00 +00002012-01-09T14:04:16.745-06:00A Coach Named JoshDenver BroncosGood Ol' BoysKansas City ChiefsOur AFC WestOur Lord and Savior Tim TebowPhotoshop AtrocitiesPlayoffsPlayoffs?The NFLTodd "Goodfella" Haley Alright. Got a day off, and I've got plenty to say about my re-entrance into the realm of industry hospitality, and I'm certain that will entertain a grand total of nobody. In the interim, however, I've got to sort out a few things about the good ol' Kansas City Chiefs, the good ol' Denver Broncos, and the good-ol'-boy-network known as the National Football League. If you're unfamiliar with my http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2012/01/queue-dukes-of-hazzard-theme-song.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-6838492983610369711Thu, 01 Dec 2011 05:08:00 +00002011-12-01T20:58:12.117-06:00Bad MusicGlam Rock Was Pretty Much an Atrocious ConceptHorrible White Recording ArtistsLosin' My MindNursery RhymesOldiesStubTubesTwitterMy boy Adam Best once wrote that bloggers should never waste post space to mention that they've been out of the loop or on the sidelines, etc. I'm going against his advice right now to report that I've been out of commission for the entire month of November because I decided to get back in the restaurant business, which has been an adventure that is reaching upwards of 300 hours and one day off http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2011/11/this-time-im-losin-my-mind-this-time_30.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-6312328531910907272Fri, 04 Nov 2011 12:36:00 +00002011-11-04T07:36:35.188-05:00Bad HaircutsBooks Is Fer ReadinComedyDumb CancellationsStubTubesUnchartable Muscle-Mass IndicesUntimely ReviewsI'm pretty excited for this particular review since the subject actually came out this year. Granted, it was in April, but that beats the untimeliness of my Dylan review. It's all in the feature's title, though, right? Anyway, once I was done reading the Bob Dylan biography, I moved on to a book with a pretty awesome title: This is a Book by Demetri Martin. Now, before I tell you about how http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2011/11/untimely-reviews-demetri-martins-this.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-8344614799415100567Thu, 03 Nov 2011 17:52:00 +00002011-11-03T17:35:34.209-05:00Bad CompanyBad MusicClassic Rock Radio Is Mostly TerribleLosin' My MindStubTubesThe NugeWelcome back for another installment of the feature that makes you want to stick your head in a blender. If you're new to the action, what follows are (mostly) terrible tracks that, for reasons unexplained, got stuck in my head last week. I'm kind enough to pass the deliciousness on to you, so enjoy. One day you'll thank (read: stab) me. We get things underway this week with an obviously http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2011/11/this-time-im-losin-my-mind-this-time.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-2157118389902893219Wed, 02 Nov 2011 13:14:00 +00002011-11-04T07:07:26.089-05:00Bob DylanBooks Is Fer ReadinUntimely ReviewsI took a part-time job a number of months ago. It’s a job in which I clock in at 11 p.m. on Friday and Saturday, and then punch out around 3 a.m. I sometimes stand, but mostly sit just inside the entrance of a bar. You could call the position bouncing, but that doesn’t really fit my stature or the ambience of the joint. Door guy is more fitting. I card everyone coming in, and at the end of the http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2011/11/untimely-reviews-bob-dylans-chronicles.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-5114469557605158389Fri, 28 Oct 2011 17:34:00 +00002011-10-28T12:34:45.618-05:00BlogstraliaCAPITALIZED PARK NAMESFresh IDHooligans Wankers and Other Soccer FreakshowsKansas CityPlayoffsPlayoffs?SportingKCTwitterVintage PanchoEvery so often I'll sit down with an interesting Internet personality and discuss what goes on in their neck of the Web woods. This week's guest is Kristi Colvin. bankmeister: We “met” in strange way, which is to say that we’ve technically never met, but I knew that you were a fascinating person right out of the gate. My buddy brought me to a SportingKC game, and at the conclusion of the http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2011/10/this-week-in-blogstralia-interview-with.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-9128955734342190981Thu, 27 Oct 2011 15:50:00 +00002011-10-27T10:50:38.599-05:00Bad MusicCasey Kasem and Delilah Should Spawn an Unbearable Love ChildLosin' My MindStubTubesThe Blizzard of NairIf this feature is new to you, it goes like this: Crappy songs. There's lots of 'em. My noodle seems to be a magnet for 'em. I can't help it. I don't know how it happens, and I'm trying like mad to figure out a way to make it stop. So far, this feature has perhaps made it worse. Each week I'll drop a five spot on you, four of which should make you want to choke a litter of kittens. If they don't,http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2011/10/this-time-im-losin-my-mind-this-time-fo.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-1637373150763715212Thu, 27 Oct 2011 13:30:00 +00002011-10-27T08:53:46.166-05:00Bad Movie ReferencesFrank ZappaJager Might Not Be Good for You After AllQuikTrip Is the BombRed-Alert Deuce DroppingsSports AnalogiesStubTubes Centerville might very well be "a nice place to raise your kids up" and if you need to find out for yourself, go ahead and watch Frank Zappa's 200 Motels. I dare you. I gave the 1971 98-minute film a whirl about 13 years ago and I don't think I ever fully recovered from that lone viewing. Don't get me wrong: I got it. Were I not a massive Zappa fan, I probably would not have, but even though http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2011/10/churches-churches-and-liquor-stores.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-8334231909163663459Tue, 18 Oct 2011 21:24:00 +00002011-10-18T16:27:18.255-05:00Bad FootballCecil RevisitedDenver BroncosKansas City ChiefsThe Bye Week Almost Sucks As Much As the Chiefs DoThe Death of NewspapersThe HootsterTwitterTechnically, we're past the bye week, but regardless of how your favorite NFL team is playing, I imagine most pro-football fans would agree that the bye week is the toughest stretch of the gridiron season. To help kill these 14 days, Old No. 7 and I sat down to talk, among other things, AFC West. And if this chatter interests you, check out our conversation from two years ago, or my Chiefs http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2011/10/bye-week-rant-ii-talking-chiefs-broncos.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-277742228919251136Sun, 16 Oct 2011 06:36:00 +00002011-10-16T16:48:34.324-05:00Bad MusicEven White Boys Got to (Get a) ShoutHow Did This Happen?Insane in the MembrizzaneLosin' My MindStubTubesHammering out a couple posts today as time's been a bit scarce lately, but, uh we'll get that fixed here soonish. Round one looked something like this, and round two this. The skinny is this: Bad songs get stuck in my head. I don't know how they get there, and I don't know how to get them out. Sometimes they're there, quiet and fading, before my feet hit the floor in the morning. And by the time http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2011/10/this-time-im-losin-my-mind-this-time_3115.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-1146278059812128471Sun, 16 Oct 2011 01:52:00 +00002011-10-15T20:52:06.302-05:00Eastern ThoughtFree AgencyKansas City ChiefsKing CarlSports Talk Radio is Worse than HeroinThe Bye Week Almost Sucks As Much As the Chiefs Do If you’ve ever spent any time with the Tao Te Ching, you know that the world is referred to as the 10,000 things. As a kid, these 10,000 things -– when focused on Kansas City Chiefs football –- resembled an easy-to-read bar graph; absorption as a fan was either relatively high or relatively low. This, of course changed as my mind matured, and access to the National Football League and its teams http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2011/10/bye-week-rant-2011-free-agency-and.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-4907416489891553541Tue, 11 Oct 2011 11:06:00 +00002011-10-16T01:39:43.053-05:00Bad MusicEven White Boys Got to (Get a) ShoutInsane in the MembrizzaneLosin' My MindStubTubesThis Blog Totally Needs More Star Wars ReferencesIf you missed the inaugural installment of this feature, peep it here. The genesis of it is this: Bad songs find their way into my head every day, and I can't, for the life of me, figure out how they get there. After the first post, the reverse effect of trying to make some sense of it occurred, and I spent the next 36 hours with Barenaked Ladies pulsing through my brain, which is to say I spent http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2011/10/this-time-im-losin-my-mind-this-time_16.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-2681777047860485524Wed, 05 Oct 2011 12:26:00 +00002011-10-16T00:01:15.473-05:00Bad MusicBe Right Back After I Brain MyselfCanadiansCinemaI Dunno It Just Got Stuck ThereInsane in the MembrizzaneLosin' My MindStubTubesYou can't lie to me. I won't believe you. You're not special, and you can't pretend it doesn't happen. You can't sit there and tell me that, at least once a day, some garbage song doesn't, for no apparent reason, wind up planted in your dome. It happens to us all, and because I don't live inside your brain, I've begun to feel like lately, that it happens more often to me. With that, I give you http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2011/10/this-time-im-losin-my-mind-this-time.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-7302099095850768455Wed, 28 Sep 2011 20:58:00 +00002011-09-28T15:58:03.447-05:00HockeyKansas CityLos Angeles KingsNHL Eastern ConferenceNHL Western ConferencePittsburgh--Home of Pedophiles I Mean PierogiesEnough with the gripes and complaints, already, people. The National Hockey League is not coming to Kansas City anytime soon, and that has nothing to do with Tim Leiweke or AEG. Really, it doesn't. I tweeted Randy Covitz earlier, and in doing so, I was mistaken. Apparently, last night's NHL exhibition contest featuring the Los Angeles Kings and Pittsburgh Penguins was a record crowd for Kansas http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2011/09/evening-at-sprint-center-nhl-exhibition.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-2836664663036867066Sat, 24 Sep 2011 22:57:00 +00002011-09-24T18:15:10.990-05:00BobbleheadsCAPITALIZED PARK NAMESFatherhoodHooligans Wankers and Other Soccer FreakshowsKansas CitySportingKCThe DizzotteTwitterVintage PanchoLast year, my buddy Vintage Pancho went out of his way to take me to a Kansas City Wizards game. He’s a season-ticket holder, a business proprietor, and trying to select a game that fit both of our schedules was the epitome of hit and miss. We made the October 9 contest against the Seattle Sounders work, and unfortunately the Wizards dropped the match 2-1. I remember leaving Community America http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2011/09/evening-at-livestrong-sporting-park.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-2287142867766608936Fri, 23 Sep 2011 13:10:00 +00002011-09-23T12:31:44.356-05:00Dude Leave the Bible Out of ThisKansas City ChiefsLetters to BudScott PioliSports Talk Radio is Worse than HeroinTodd "Goodfella" HaleyTwitter Wednesday morning: I didn’t want to write about the Chiefs two days in a row, but after listening to Danny Parkins Monday morning/afternoon and Bob Fescoe yesterday morning, I was left with no choice. I think both of these cats do a good show and put out mostly quality SportsTalkRadio, but Fescoe’s program, on the drive to work yesterday morning, left me sick to my stomach. I mean, my guts were http://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2011/09/friday-morning-fracas-chiefs-fans-visit.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3686125248524517388.post-445554304865458807Tue, 20 Sep 2011 18:36:00 +00002011-09-20T16:43:52.978-05:00Brodie BangsDashed Hopes and DreamsKansas City ChiefsOne Man BandsSigns Say Floppy Haired Quarterback People Need Not ApplyTwitterSome seven or eight days ago, the 2011 NFL season commenced, and I'll be damned if it's not going to be a long one. Some two or three seasons ago, I never, in my wildest dreams, would've envisioned that a season worse than either of the Kansas City Chiefs' campaigns between 2007-09 could exist. It now appears entirely possible, but that's not what I want to discuss today. Some six or seven yearshttp://houseofgeorges.blogspot.com/2011/09/i-present-to-you-apologism-and-his-name.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (blairjjohnson)1