Ah yes, Valentine’s Day is upon us again. That sacred time of the year when smitten couples stroll hand in hand, and whisper sweet nothings over a romantic candle-lit dinner accompanied with lavish gifts that may have cost the man’s entire month’s paycheck!

Whatever gifts you are buying for your love this Valentine’s day, a definite must-do is to front it with something flora so that your loved one can show the whole wide world she was being pampered by her man. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do – buy his sweetheart flowers.

Img Credit: Felix Francis

If you think buying flowers for your sweetheart is child’s play, then you may find yourself in for a thorny time. While sticking with the dozen romantic red roses is a safe choice, do you think that is really the sort of petal to impress and touch that special someone?

All flowers have specific flower meanings, which symbolize one emotion or another, ranging from true love, to friendship, to gratitude, to farewell. The number of stalks and the flowers’ colors also have their own meaning altogether.

Here are some basic Do’s and Don’ts in choosing the right flowers for your date:

Do’s

1. Roses are a safe choice but it won’t hurt to find out what flowers your girl actually likes – some adventurous gal may find roses a tad boring. Take it as an opportunity to customize a unique bouquet of flowers that represents your “unyielding adoration” for her or symbolizes you are madly in love with her.
2. Find out her color preference – some girls like soft pastel tones while others prefer them loud and cheerful.
3. Choose hand held bouquets or hand posies as your girl can then take her flowers and show them off at dinner. You don’t expect her to carry those vases or bulky baskets to dinner, do you?
4. Send flowers together with a personalized message to your love’s office in the morning to brighten her mood for the rest of the day. Have the florist seal the envelope (especially if the contents are very mushy)

Don’ts

1. Avoid inappropriate flowers such as chrysanthemums and carnations. Yellow chrysanthemums symbolize slighted love and pink carnation is the emblem of mother’s day!
2. Unless your girl has a special fondness for all things yellow, don’t give yellow roses as it symbolize just friendship. You wouldn’t want her to think you are treating the relationship as just friendship, would you?
3. Don’t rely on the florist bulk chocolates to complement your flower order. If possible, make the chocolate yourself, it will surely melt her heart.
4. Avoid bulky bouquets – unless you want to break her delicate hands, or you want to carry a basket of flowers to dinner

Besides the different flowers and colors which symbolize different meanings, the number of stalks you give also has its own meaning.

Img Credit: Missty

Stalk symbolism

• One stalk: Love at first sight
• Three stalks: I love you
• Nine stalks: Till death do us part
• 11 stalks: There is only you in my heart
• 12 stalks: All of my utmost love
• 24 stalks: Missing you always
• 99 stalks: My love will last till the end of time
• 999 stalks: Infinite love

There you have it, the above basic flowers tips will put you in good stead to get the right flowers and impress your girl this Valentine’s Day. Now go have yourselves a passionate Valentine’s Day!

Now, I don’t know about you, but I believe that you can’t really have a great Superbowl party unless you have the following:

• Friends
• A big screen television
• Beer
• At least 1 Cheese Ball

So, seeing as the first three things on that list are something that I can’t really help you with - we’re going to be focusing on the Cheese Ball.

There are a great number of variations on the Cheese Ball, and sure, you could buy one in a store. But there really isn’t any greater satisfaction in life than putting your cheese ball that you made out on a plate with some crackers and watching your friends dig into it and then say, “Wow. Good cheese ball.” I’m pretty sure it’s a feeling of pride similar to that of sending your kids to their first day of school.

Anyways - for your first cheese ball we’re going to stick to a basic recipe so we don’t lose anybody. For future Superbowls, feel free to venture out and get a little creative with it. Shoot, you might even want to fashion your cheese ball into a football! Brilliant.

How To Create A Cheese Ball

Ingredients:

• 1 pkg. 8 oz Cream Cheese
• 8 green onion tops
• 1/2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
• 1 pkg. dried beef
• 1 tsp. Accent

1. Leave the cream cheese out to soften it. Not over night, just for like an hour. Don’t be silly.

2. Chop up green onion tops and mix into the cream cheese.

3. Cut the dried beef into small pieces. Add half of it to the cream cheese mixture.

4. Add Worcestershire sauce and Accent to the mix. Mix it all up good.

5. Shape it into a ball or a rabbit or some other cute animal. Roll it in the other half of the beef.

6. Put it on a plate, chill, and serve with crackers.

Easy. Good luck.
If you’re planning on betting on the game - you might want to consider entering the $100 Contest to cover any losses!

But here it is reprinted for your fun and enjoyment.

So enjoy it, damn it.

How To Create Your First Album

1. You’re going to need a name for your band. Click here - take the article title as your band’s name. If you just so happen to load a page about a band - you might want to cheat and hit reload.

2. Next you’ll need a name for your album. Again - click here. Use the last 4 words of the last quote on the page as your album title.

3. No good album can be complete without some great cover art. For the last time - click here. The third picture on the page, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Open the graphics program of your choice and put them all together and voila! your first album.

Be sure to look out for NHotR on tour this summer.

Alright kids - it’s not often that How2Blogger asks for help as I’m usually too busy writing Haiku, growing mullets, or training for American Gladiators. But today - your favorite ‘How To’ Blogger has been nominated in the prestigious, world famous, taking over the blogosphere Mapiles Blogging Cup.

Yes, you read that correctly. It’s our first blogging competition and I’m desperate for a win.

Actually I’m begging for a win.

How2Blogger is battling it out in the Mapiles Cup. I’ve been pitted to go up against 15 other world class blogs - and somehow, someway, I’m determined to bring this one home. But that’s only if you vote for me.

And of course - if I win, I’m taking the trophy/banner and my winnings and I’m going to Disney World.

So, if you could take a minute and head over to the competition arena and vote/cheer for your favorite How To Blog, I’d very much appreciate it.

In the first round I’m going head to head with another wonderful blogger over at TechTreak. Unfortunately for them, this competition is looking to be short as they’ve drawn How2Blogger in the first round. So TechTreak - like Ivan Drago says to Rocky in Rocky IV - sorry dude, but “I must break you.”

Shoot, did Rocky win that one?

And don’t forget, if you could use an extra hundred bucks you can still enter our January Contest for $100 smackers.

Luckily for us, other drunken bards have taken up the limerick and passed it down through the ages. We’re left with such classics as ‘There Once Was A Man From Nantucket.’

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

So - if you’re feeling particularly creative today and are looking to write something that will last through history, here you go:

How To Write A Limerick

1. The limerick consists of 5 lines of verse, with a rhyming scheme of AABBA.

2. Lines 1, 2, & 5 each consist of 7 to 10 syllables and all rhyme (A).

3. Lines 3 & 4 have 5 to 7 syllables each and rhyme with each other (B).

4. The limerick is one form of poetry that is particularly known for being bawdy, lewd, and crude. So what this means for you is that really no topic is off limits.

5. We could get into stresses and which syllables to place them on, but seeing as how the majority of How2Blogger’s readers are above average, we’ll keep this really simple. Follow the rhyme scheme and the number of syllables and you should be alright - with limerick writing at least.

So - good luck with your efforts, feel free to leave your best attempt at a limerick in the comments. And I’ll leave you with 3 quicky examples that I wrote while going potty today.

There once was a blogger named Beth,
Who worked her poor fingers to death.
Her boss was a tard,
Boob sniffer in her yard,
It seems West Virginia’s all on Meth.

In South Texas lives a blogger named Karen.
Whose a little bit fond of swearing.
Her cat likes to pee pee
All over her little tee pee
I would have run him over with my ‘88 Chrysler Lebaron.

There once was a dude named Jason.
Who blogs and likes to poke fun.
It seems he likes apes,
Some sushi, maybe grapes?
And sometimes buys whale blubber by the ton.