But, was my body truly at rest? I’ve been thinking about this notion for quite some time, wondering how fast my body is traveling even when sitting still. Within the universe, bodies at absolute rest don’t really exist. It might surprise you to learn that your body is traveling through space at remarkable speeds. You can’t feel it, but it is true nonetheless. In fact, it is hard to say exactly how fast your body is moving at any given time because you are moving at vast speeds in multiple directions at once.

Let me break it down for you. 

Earth’s Rotation on its Axis.

• Depending on where you are on Earth (latitudinally speaking), the speed of the Earth’s rotation varies. At the Equator the rotational speed is about 1000 Miles per Hour (MPH) and at the latitude of New York City, it is about 800 MPH.
• That spin is what is responsible for the rising and setting of the sun.
• For most of human history it was assumed that the sun revolved around the Earth because we couldn’t feel the movement of Earth’s rotation. That lack of “feel” lead to erroneous conclusions and complicated theories about our solar system. Now we know that the Earth rotates on its axis AND orbits around the Sun.

Earth’s Orbit Around the Sun

• As the Earth orbits around our Sun (which gives rise to our annual seasons), you are traveling at roughly 67,000 MPH.

The Sun’s Orbit around the Milky Way Galaxy

• Like in all gravitationally bond systems, the Sun orbits the center of the Milky Way Galaxy. Relative to the super massive black hole in the center of our galaxy, the Sun is dragging our solar system along in its orbit around the Milky Way Galaxy at somewhere between 450,000 and 515,000 MPH.

Movement Within Our Local Group of Galaxies

• Within our Local Group of galaxies, a collection of 50 plus galaxies in our relative corner of the universe, we are traveling on a collision course toward the Andromeda Galaxy at a speed of around 720,000 MPH.

Our Local Groups Movement toward the Great Attractor

• Our Local Group of galaxies, as a unit, is traveling toward the Great Attractor (a mysterious gravity well in our broader corner of the universe), at a velocity of 1,343,000 MPH.
• This rate of travel is relative to the Cosmic Microwave Background (CMB).
• I repeat, that velocity is over 1.3 MILLION Miles per Hour!

The Expansion of the Universe

• On top of all that, the Universe is expanding at a pretty substantial pace. Because space is literally stretching in all directions, there is no relative stationary benchmark to use in order to calculate a relative speed. I’m not going to get into translating the concept of kilometers per second per megaparsec. It’s way too complicated for this exercise.

These speeds are hard to imagine, let alone grasp. But, given that we are gravitationally bound to Earth and that there have been no relative changes in any of these rates or trajectories, they remain undetectable to us. Much like when you are traveling in an airplane, once at speed and altitude, you cannot discern the speed of your travel. You only notice acceleration, deceleration, and sudden changes in direction (turns) or altitude (turbulence).

Now, all these speeds are not in the same direction or even on the same plain, and each speed is relative to a specific frame of reference. Some speeds in one direction may cancel out or partially cancel out other speeds. The opposite is also true, depending on where we are in the relative position in each system’s rotation and orbit. Regardless, it is safe to assume that when your body is at rest on planet Earth, your actual speed exceeds a million miles an hour. Let’s just consider our galaxy’s speed relative to the CMB (1.3 Million MPH). In the five minutes it just took you to read this article, you will have traveled over 108,000 miles, or the equivalent of 4.35 times around Earth’s Equator.

Body at rest, nope, it’s just an illusion.

If you need a visual of how the solar system is really traveling through space relative to the center of the Milky Way Galaxy, check out this YouTube video. This video is a bit redundant and has the feel of being a product of an AI, but it captures the general essence of what I’m trying to share here. 

Notes:
I used the most commonly cited number or range for the velocities reported here. In some cases there were substantial differences between sources. Generally, however the velocities were drawn from reputable sources with references cited. I converted the speeds reported herein from the more scientific metric of kilometers per second to miles per hour, which is generally more accessible for folks in the United States.

I had an important family member pass away recently. Needless to say it was heart breaking. Death has a way of forcing me to think about life. To me death is what gives life meaning and helps me focus on the value of each living and breathing moment. But when someone close to me dies and loved ones gather to memorialize that person’s life, I can’t help but think about how this group of people would be talking about me if I was the deceased. Perhaps this is a bit narcissistic, but I wager that it is quite common.

I know by virtue of the time that has passed that I am much closer to my end than I am to my beginning – so these thoughts become more intense and relevant.

Looking back at my life it is clear that I have made my share of mistakes. Had I made choices that now make me cringe? Yes! Do those mistakes still define me? No! Rest assured that I am more than proficient at recalling my poor choices and casting aspersions on myself. Rarely does a day pass that I don’t rebuke myself for something that I have said or done that has hurt someone. (See The Guilt-Empathy Connection for more on this). Forgiveness for myself is hard won. To me this is Hell. Hell exists in my own mind. I’m not getting into a discussion here about the afterlife and whether there is one or not, but rather the Hell that plays out in my own mind.

As I have said, past mistakes and missteps, particularly those that have caused harm to others, are my Hell. My Hell feels relentless, tortuous, and eternal. Okay, that is a bit hyperbolic, but nonetheless sometimes it feels like there is an active ongoing process inside my head that intentionally gives me painful pause.

Heaven is also something that I experience in my mind’s reckoning. Heaven for me comes from the feeling that I have been a powerful and/or positive life-force. I use the term life-force, not in a mystical nor biological way, but with regard to being someone who enriches the lives around them. A person who lifts up rather than one who drains. The feeling that I get when I sense that I AM a net-positive life-force in turn, lifts me up. From here on out I’ll call this Life-Force-Positive or LF+. This is my Heaven. It is not that important to me to be perceived as being LF+, what is important, is BEING LF+. It is more important to me “to be – rather than to seem to be” to paraphrase Steven Covey.

This is an important distinction because BEING is under my control and is both intrinsically motivated and realized. I’m not dependent upon others’ perception for my sense of personal self valuation and relevance. I cannot control other’s perceptions. But, if I am positive and contribute to others’ lives, then I gain personal value with no discernible loss. This latter point is the tricky part. It is important to find balance. One can, in such an effort, become so self-sacrificing that the result in martyrdom. Finding the sweet spot where one’s own needs are met and one’s boundaries are respected is very important too. I’m not advocating for being a pushover or a martyr here. It may seem like a narrow line to walk – and that’s why it takes effort.

I may not always, in all circumstances, be LF+. But I am trying. And there are definite opportunities for growth here. It’s a goal and one that helps me actualize Heaven on Earth. And if I successfully enough realize this goal, when I do depart this Earthy realm, the people left behind may genuinely say “He’ll be missed.” I have to be honest – leaving a LF+ legacy is a desire. I’m not completely immune to the impact of how others feel about me. I don’t know – does this seem selfish? To do good to feel good? From my perspective it feels like a win-win. Additionally, it’s my effort at counter-nihilism. It’s what gives me and my life meaning.

I know that my Heaven and Hell are real and that they are uniquely personal. That’s not to say that others do not experience a similar introspective attempt at correcting one’s ways and/or an effort for a LF+ lifestyle; however, I wonder how widespread this is. What is your Earthly Heaven and Hell? Do they exist in your earthly realm?

Note:

1. This post is dedicated to my mother in law who passed away just before Christmas. Lynn, you will live on in my memory forever for many reasons, a big one being because of your loving welcome into your family despite my human fallibility.

2. Thank you to the band Caamp for their song By and By, and bringing the phrase “Life Force” into my consciousness. 

Those with similar degrees of Introversion/Extroversion share only the degree of trait manifestation, but not necessarily the same traits. And there are many traits that people evidence that suggest on what side of the spectrum they fall, but any one trait does not necessarily determine the certainty of having that type nor the degree of that personality trait. It is the number of traits that determines your place on the spectrum and the degree of introversion/ambiversion/extroversion.

The traits are like an a la carte menu, and your place on the spectrum is determined by a genetic roll of the dice that ultimately defined for us this important aspect our personalities. There was, and is no choice involved. I’m sure that although nature (our genes) writes our code, nurture (our experiences and expectations) does edit that code a bit.

Below are lists that I curated from various sources (e.g., lists, charts, and info-graphics) across the internet purporting to differentiate Intro and Extroverts. Given the reality that I scanned many lists, that most lists had five to ten items, and that many lists were slightly different in content, my lists are longer than most.  The sources I used to generate my lists were not generally put together by Personality Psychologists, but they do reflect a general consensus of traits that are common for those on the corresponding end of the personality type.  Many items were listed repeatedly or at least seen on many lists. A few were items only listed once or twice. It’s not clear to me which traits have been rigorously vetted – so do not assume that these lists are exhaustive or scientifically validated.

This is not a test

I am not specifically attempting to provide an instrument to help you determine where you fall on the Spectrum. But going through the lists and checking and counting items from each list (that you can relate to about yourself (the majority of the time)) will help you determine where you fall. If you find that you have many more items from one list or the other then you may indeed be inclined toward that personality type. If you have a roughly equal count of traits from both lists then you may be an Ambivert. If the vast majority of your traits are on one list, then you have strong inclinations toward that personality type. If you have many traits from both lists, but still have a modestly strong leaning toward one side, then you may be either an Extrovert leaning Ambivert or Introvert leaning Ambivert (depending on which list you have more items in common with).

The prevailing narrative that introverts are less socially skilled or capable is inaccurate and dismisses their many strengths. Introverts can be excellent leaders, deep thinkers, and social beings in the right settings. Their talents, though different from extroverts, often complement the more outward-focused traits of extroversion. Viewed through the lens of cultural norms and individual strengths, introverts possess “superpowers” that uniquely contribute to the social fabric, workplaces, and communities. So, the next time you meet an introvert, remember that their quiet demeanor may conceal a world of deep thoughts, keen insights, and powerful leadership potential.¹

Traits of Introverts

• Energy Gain/Loss
  • is likely to gain energy from quiet solitude and/or quiet time with close people or their “person” 
  • may NEED time alone to recharge and reflect
  • may be exhausted by large non-intimate social gatherings
  • may enjoy socialization but find it tiring or exhausting
  • tends to be sensitive to and exhausted by high stimulation environments
• Social Preferences
  • may prefer solitude or time alone with their “person”
  • tends to value close one-on-one relationships over having a large social network
  • may be happy with having just a few close friends
  • may dislike small-talk
  • may be quiet in large groups and fearful of humiliation
  • may find it difficult to join in ongoing conversations
  • may avoid being the center of attention
  • may be inclined to avoid interacting with strangers or even loose acquaintances
  • may dread large non-intimate social gatherings
  • may really enjoy reading and spend much time doing so
  • may not like talking on the telephone
  • may prefer working in quiet independent environments
  • may work best alone or one-on-one
  • may be uncomfortable with and avoid conflict
• Response to Stimulation
  • may prefer quiet environments with low levels of stimulation
• How Others See Them – Observable Traits
  
  • may be considered a “home-body”
  • may be considered quiet, reserved, thoughtful, introspective, and/or contemplative
  • may be considered aloof or shy
  • may be considered as observant and adept at “reading the room”
  • may be considered an excellent listener
  • may have a quieter and slower rate of speech, and even sound hesitant in responses to questions or requests for opinions
  • may be inclined to evidence intellectual humility and acknowledge the complexity of situations
  • may be considered intense or more serious
  • may be considered less flexible, needing to have plans for social engagement
• Private Internal Cognitive Processes
  • may feel better and more capable of sharing information in writing rather than through conversation
  • is likely to think before speaking and acting
  • may need time to think on things before responding
  • may be more inclined to hold in emotional responses and harbor difficult feelings
  • may struggle with coming up with witty responses on the spot
  • words spoken tend to be genuine
  • may be inclined to learn by observing others

People with high extroversion tend to relate well to others, and are often well-liked in their teams and offices. They form quick and easy friendships, and their outgoing nature leads to effective group-work.²

…research has found that extroverts tend to experience positive emotions more frequently than introverts, which helps lessen stress, encourage achievement, and increase feelings of satisfaction.³

Traits of Extroverts

• Energy Gain/Loss
  • tends to NEED energetic social interactions to charge their batteries
  • may have a tendency to gain energy from being around other people
  • tends to need stimulating environments to charge their batteries
• Social Preferences
  • may prefer going out or entertaining groups of people as opposed to staying home
  • may prefer having a busy or packed social calendar
  • may have large social networks and multiple fluid relationships
  • tends to love being in large groups
  • may tend to thrive in team-oriented and open work settings
  • may love chatting or engaging in small talk
• Response to Stimulation
  
  • may seek highly stimulating environments
• How Others See Them – Observable Traits
  • may be considered outgoing, gregarious, and highly social
  • may be inclined to strike up a conversation with a stranger
  • may have the “gift of gab”
  • may enjoy being the center of attention
  • can be seen as outgoing and enthusiastic
  • may be considered highly energetic and active
  • may be considered easy going
  • may make friends easily
  • may be considered assertive
  • may have a tendency to think out loud
  • may be considered more of a talker than a listener
  • may be considered a quick thinker and be proficient at coming up with witty responses on the spot
  • may be inclined to talk extensively about a topic regardless of whether or not they have any true knowledge on the subject
  • may speak more quickly, rapidly, and assertively
  • may be outspoken in large groups and comfortable with risk taking
  • may be proficient at dealing with conflict and less inclined to shy away from it
  • may be less likely to evidence intellectual humility
  • may be considered impulsive and/or easily distracted
  • may be more open to changes in plans
• Private Internal Cognitive Processes
  • may find it easier to talk about an issue rather than than taking time to think about it
  • may be inclined toward making quick decisions
  • may have a tendency to speak without thinking
  • may value real life experiences over intellectual pursuits (e.g., thinking or reading about something)

I am hoping to help make it clear that many if not all Introverts and Extroverts will identify with some traits from the “other” list. It should be evident that no one Introvert is the same as any other Introvert – and likewise, that the same is true for Extroverts. Ambiverts will likely – in roughly equal proportions – identify with traits from both lists and as a result the amount of variation among them is even more vast. People are complicated and unique beings that often defy dichotomous categorization.

Another thing that I am also attempting to do here is help you understand the traits and inclinations of others that may fall on the other end of the spectrum. It is important to note that one side is not better than the other; although, there is an Extrovert Bias in the United States that places great social value on the Extrovert Personality. By this I mean that there is a greater preference in schools and the workplace for team work, group projects, and gregarious people over independent workers and the quiet, intellectual, and reflective types. There are strengths in those at both end of the spectrum. I ask that you not refer to Introverts as anti-social or use any derogatory language to define someone that may be introverted. The same is true regarding Extroverts: although they already have a leg up in our culture, it is not necessarily helpful to label them as loud, or shallow, or insensitive. We all have value and as I explored in my previous post, we absolutely need to gather a better understanding of each other. I hope these lists help you in this way.

Keep in mind that this Intro/Extroverted personality trait is just one of a complicated array of factors that make up your personality and it alone does not define you.

If you want to take a “test” to get a number that tells you more specifically where you fall on the continuum, try one or both of the following questionnaires. The second, from Psychology Today, seems a bit more nuanced and you may find it easier to choose your responses over the True/False response options in Susan Cain’s Quiet Quiz.

1. The Quiet Quiz by Susan Cain
2. Introversion/Extroversion Test by Psychology Today

References:

1. Rebekka Grun von Jolk Ph.D., (2024).  Introverts Are Not What You Think: Introversion differs across cultures and hides unexpected superpowers. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/maximizing-relationships-and-happiness-in-life/202409/introverts-are-not-what-you-think-1

This reality has for the longest time made me feel bad about myself. I remember a time (some 26 years ago) when this feeling hit me hard. I was at a professional conference in Orlando and my partner and I went to Disney World’s Pleasure Island. Back then this adult oriented portion of the resort was a place for partying. The contrast between what I was seeing (people having a blast) and what I was feeling (a deep desire to get out of there) was profound and I couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong with me. I internalized it as a weakness – a pathology of sorts – and this was true despite just having completed a PhD in psychology (some would think I should have known better given my profession).

I of course was familiar with Carl Jung’s so coined Introvert and Extrovert personality types. I was also familiar the Meyer’s Briggs personality “test” (a much maligned test in professional psychology) where I came out as an Extrovert. So I really hadn’t internalized the reality that my struggles might be associated with the fact that I might actually be an Introvert. In retrospect this highlights one of the major flaws in all self-report “personality” tests, where one tends to report what they would prefer to be rather than what they are.

My struggles with social engagement came into my awareness early in life. As a young child, adults referred to me as shy.  Of course, as children tend to do, I too defined myself as being shy, and leaning on that crutch was easier than taking steps to expand my social skills. But really, shyness is anxiety about social judgement and it’s not the same as being introverted. But I knew that outgoing, gregarious, and highly social people were the most liked and respected. I was none of those things. If you know deep in your core that you lack those highly valued characteristics – then isn’t the development of anxiety about social judgement an easy leap to take? I may have in fact been shy, but being introverted in a world that values extroversion over introversion may have enhanced my shyness. Later, in adolescence, some people told me that they thought that I was “stuck-up,” or a “snob.” All I can say is that I felt anything but superior to others. Quite the opposite actually. Even as a child I knew that I was “different than” what was demonstrably valued.

I spent a lifetime looking at myself as being socially deficient simply because I hated engaging in small talk. I also felt bad about myself because high stimulation environments (like in partys, bars or “Pleasure” Island) tended to exhaust me. It wasn’t until I came across a TED Talk called The Power of Introverts by Susan Cain that I realized that I wasn’t deficient.

I watched Ms. Cain proclaim many values that introverts do bring to the world and I wept. I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. Ms. Cain mentioned the names of some famous people with Introverted traits and I subsequently learned that there are lots of people like myself that identify as Introverts. Cain reported that around 40% of the population, and a brief review of the scientific literature suggests that between 30 and 50% of the population is somewhere on the introverted end of the spectrum. Some well known Introverts include Charles Darwin, Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Mahatma Gandhi, Rosa Parks, and many more, including some current cultural and political icons. So, I came to learn that I was not inherently flawed, but instead, that I had social inclinations like many other people – and some very successful people.

There are a couple important things to note:

1. These Introvert/Extrovert (I/E) traits are hard-wired into one’s personality and are fundamental to who the person is. It’s not a choice, nor is it something you can will yourself out of, or something that can or should be cured.
2. There is a spectrum across which people exhibit the I/E traits. These traits are not dichotomous, meaning it is not necessarily an either/or proposition. Across the population there is a distribution of individuals falling on the continuum between extreme introversion and extreme extroversion with people falling anywhere between these poles. A great number of folks fall in the middle region of the spectrum and these midland folks have come to be referred to as Ambiverts. They have both Introvert and Extrovert traits.

It is true than an Ambivert may want and need both quiet time and social engagement: however, this also true for both Introverts and Extroverts. So, what’s with the labels and what do they really mean? The bottom line is “where do you charge your batteries?” In other words what gives and what depletes your energy levels. Introverts get energy from solitude or low energy intimate social interactions. High energy and/or non-intimate social interactions tend to deplete energy levels for these folks. On the other hand, Extroverts tend to get energy from larger and more vigorous gatherings – and are depleted, non-energized, or bored by solitude and/or smaller social situations. Many folks, the Ambiverts, may not fall exclusively in either group – again, perhaps needing both quiet time and high energy interactions, OR not realizing any significant battery drain or gain from either type of social engagement. So again, it is not necessarily a dichotomous trait –  it is a matter of how many traits you have that define where you are on the spectrum.

One way to find out where you fall on the Introvert/Ambivert/Extrovert Spectrum is to take Susan Cain’s Quiet Quiz. Below are 20 questions taken from Ms. Cain’s website.

“Answer each question True or False, choosing the answer that applies to you more often than not.” [Keep a tally of your answers (i.e., the numbers of true and false responses) or click here Quiet Quiz and take the quiz online. This is not a standardized instrument with rigorously tested psychometric properties. Regardless, if interested, you’ll get a basic idea of where you “fall” on the I/E spectrum. Be sure to be honest with yourself. Resist the temptation to answer in a way that reflects how you wish you were.]

1. 1. I prefer one-on-one conversations to group activities.
   2. I often prefer to express myself in writing.
   3. I enjoy solitude.
   4. I seem to care about wealth, fame, and status less than my peers.
   5. I dislike small talk, but I enjoy talking in-depth about topics that matter to me.
   6. People tell me that I’m a good listener.
   7. I’m not a big risk-taker.
   8. I enjoy work that allows me to “dive in” with few interruptions.
   9. I like to celebrate birthdays on a small scale, with only one or two close friends or family members.
   10. People describe me as “soft-spoken” or “mellow”.
   11. I prefer not to show or discuss my work with others until it’s finished.
   12. I dislike conflict.
   13. I do my best work on my own.
   14. I tend to think before I speak.
   15. I feel drained after being out and about, even if I’ve enjoyed myself.
   16. I often let calls go through to voice-mail.
   17. If I had to choose, I’d prefer a weekend with absolutely nothing to do to one with too many things scheduled.
   18. I don’t enjoy multi-tasking.
   19. I can concentrate easily.
   20. In classroom situations, I prefer lectures to seminars. 

According to Cain, “The more often you answered True, the more introverted you probably are. Lots of Falses suggests [that] you’re an extrovert. If you had a roughly equal number of Trues and Falses, then you may be an “ambivert.”

I share this because I thought that I was flawed both because I lacked an understanding of the reality that there is “normalcy” no matter where you fall on the spectrum, AND because, if you are like me, you have succumbed to the Extrovert Bias that exists particularly in the United States. This bias is evidenced by the way that people tend to value and respect outgoing, gregarious, and action oriented people over quiet, restrained, and thinking oriented people.  If extroversion is the gold standard socially, then like me, you may have felt “less than.” Introverts are not less capable or less valuable than Extroverts, and it is time to shed this bias and honor your own I/E traits and those of your loved ones. If you are an Extrovert, do not assume that the quieter people around you are shy, stuck-up, disinterested, or less-than you. If you are interested in them and care – honor them. Pull them aside and talk with them. More importantly, listen to them. Really LISTEN! – and do this by asking them about their interests and what is important to them. You may be surprised. And by the way, you Extroverts out there, despite what our culture tells you, you are not the gold standard. Not in my book – not anymore.

If you fall on the Introverted end of the continuum, honor your needs, and DO NOT place value on yourself based on the unrealistically high valuation of extroversion evident in the United States. Regardless of where you fall, take 19 minutes and watch Susan Cain’s TED Talk.  Not only is it very interesting – I would argue that it can be paradigm shifting – and I believe that people across the spectrum need to shift their paradigms to either lift their self-efficacy or humble themselves and develop more empathy and respect for us Introverts. As for me, Cain’s TED Talk gave me more compassion for myself and even for those around me, particularly those on my end of the spectrum. And as for the Quiet Quiz, I answered TRUE to 18 of the 20 questions. I am very Introverted and gosh darn-it, I am okay!

References

Cain, S., (2012) TED Talk The Power of Introverts https://youtu.be/c0KYU2j0TM4?si=0m8-RtNtDIh29DaV

Cain, S., The Quiet Quiz https://susancain.net/quiet-quiz/

Dumsch, A., (2015), Are You an Ambivert? https://oitecareersblog.od.nih.gov/2015/08/10/are-you-an-ambivert

Herbert, J., Ferri, L., Hernandez, B., Zamarripa, I., Hofer, K., Sohail Fazeli, M., Shnitsar, I., & Abdallah, K. (2023) Personality diversity in the workplace: A systematic literature review on introversion, Journal of Workplace Behavioral
Health, 38:2, 165-187, DOI: 10.1080/15555240.2023.2192504 https://doi.org/10.1080/15555240.2023.2192504

Quiet Quiz

Awe for me is a spiritual event – sometimes surprising me with an intense emotional reaction. I’ve never really thought about it much. When I experience the deeply moving type of awe, it has always seemed like a super special bonus, and frankly it is generally unanticipated. Never before have I had an explicit goal to experience it.  In retrospect, knowing what I have recently learned about it, awe seeking has been a major implicit goal all along.  I just never realized that the choices I have been making have routinely set me up for awe. Now I know, I’m an awe-junky. Is this a good thing?

For me, awe occurs along a spectrum from a relatively mild experience with a “Wow! That’s really Cool!” to a visceral and deeply emotional response with tingling and tears. Personally, these reactions are triggered by immense natural beauty: in places like Zion National Park, but also in flowers, clouds, sunsets, and beautifully colored fish on coral reefs. Music too has a way of inspiring it, but so does learning something incredible about the way the natural world works. Beauty itself is not a pre-requisite: it can be triggered by looking at places of vast immensity, like the night-time sky, like Death Valley and the Grand Canyon. Although each of these are beautiful in their own special ways, the awe is brought about by me being put in my place, as being rather small and insignificant in the vast configuration of things. Lastly for me, awe can be inspired by the feats of others, be it through tremendous physical accomplishments, or in their works of art, engineering, architecture, or intellect.

Everyone experiences awe in their own unique ways. My triggers are my triggers and what I find awesome may have no special significance to you. Regardless, the experience is considered a universal emotion, and across all cultures the most common triggers tend to fall into several categories, including exposure to:

1. Inspirational people (e.g., expressing intelligence, virtuousness, or spiritual messages, or through performing incredible physical feats) [which are the most common triggers in collectivist societies]
2. Natural beauty [most common triggers in individualistic societies]
3. Vastness or large natural objects, such as mountains, vistas, and oceans
4. Immense power (e.g., storms, tornadoes, earthquakes, rocket launches)
5. Learning surprising things
6. Ancient sites (e.g., ruins) or items (e.g., very old trees, Galileo’s telescope)
7. Beautiful art, architecture, and/or music
8. Present moment awareness (e.g., seeing the value and rarity in a particular moment in time while experiencing it)
9. Shared experiences (e.g., the enhancement value of being within a group of people while witnessing something very special)

People differ not only in the type of triggers that stimulate awe, but also in the frequency of experiencing it. Extroverts and people open to experience realize it more readily. So do creative and optimistic people, and those who are inclined toward gratitude, appreciating beauty, and those who have a love of learning. It is more frequent among people who live within open political systems. However, those who are very poor or very rich are less inclined to experience it regularly. Awe experiences tend to diminish as one ages, and then increase again later in life. On average, people tend to experience awe about two times a week.

All of this is interesting, but here is the big surprise – awe seems to be really good for you. It has tendencies to increase feelings of social connectedness, which is a feeling that is well established as being highly associated with good mental health and happiness. It increases the probability that one will engage in pro-social behavior (e.g., by becoming more compassionate, helpful, and generous). People who regularly experience awe correspondingly experience more joy, and share a feeling associated with being connected to something bigger than themselves.  In this sense, it tends to be perspective shifting – making one more humble, but without diminishing self worth.  People who regularly experience awe tend to be less materialistic – spending more money on experiences rather than on things. Awe has been shown to increase critical thinking skills, making one less likely to fall for weak argumentation. Likewise it has been shown to increase curiosity and enhance one’s understanding of the natural world. Amazingly, it has been shown to decrease general levels of stress and to lower levels of inflammation and depression. The impact on inflammation has been shown to be as effective as engaging in exercise.

This sounds too good to be true, but there is an ever increasing body of evidence that has confirmed these positive outcomes associated with increased experiences of awe. There is literature that has shown that experiences of awe result in the release of oxytocin (the love hormone). The experience of awe is evidenced on EEGs in substantive changes in brain wave activity both eliciting calmness and excitement at the same time. And it has shown to diminish one’s perception of their movement through time – in other words, it makes us feel as though time slows down. It makes one more inclined to develop deeper values and again a deeper connection to others and the world. There is a growing body of research that suggests that awe has therapeutic value in treating PTSD. Whether as a treatment for PTSD or otherwise, the positive outcomes tend to persist over time.

Furthermore, what is also true, is that contrived versus incidental awe experiences have the same positive outcomes. The implication here is that you may be able to foster the positive outcomes of awe by intentionally setting yourself up to experience it. So, if you want to diminish anxiety or depression, or if you want to feel more socially connected to others, to experience more joy and general happiness, you can do so by regularly setting yourself up to experience awe.

What I have discovered is that I have been doing this throughout my adult life without knowing that I was doing so. I have a deep connection to the natural world and regularly seek time in the out of doors. I do this evidently because it makes me feel better. And awe is one of the major active ingredients. I travel to beautiful natural places, I love clouds and flowers, and sunsets, I listen to great music, I watch nature shows, and routinely read about natural history. I am also drawn to movies and TV shows where the hero’s overcome great odds and accomplish seemingly supernatural feats.  I do this evidently because l am an awe junky. 

I love the feeling associated with being small relative to the vastness of the universe. It helps me put my struggles into perspective. I tend to frame myself as being a very small piece of a vastly interconnected world. And awe really helps me make this shift in perspective.

In a time when so many people are feeling disconnected, anxious, stressed, and stuck on a hedonic treadmill, perhaps it is time to start an awe movement. It would be good for you, good for us as a species, and good for the world in general. There are several things that you can intentionally do to make yourself feel better. First learn your awe triggers (keep track of when you experience it and come to know your own triggers), and secondly, routinely make time to set yourself up to experience it. Talk about it and/or journal it. Processing it seems to be helpful.

How do you become awestruck? Are you an awe junky? I’d really like to hear your thoughts and experiences.

References

Allen, S. (2018) Eight Reasons Why Awe Makes Your Life Better: Research suggests that awe can make you happier, healthier, more humble, and more connected to the people around you. Greater Good Magazine.

Keltner, D., Haidt, J. (2003) Approaching awe, a moral, spiritual, and aesthetic emotion. Cognition and Emotion, 17 02, pgs. 297-314.

Paquette, J. (2023) Awestruck: How the New Science of Awe Can Make Us Happier, Healthier, and More Connected. Webinar: TZK Seminars

The scientific term for this bias is called Motivated Reasoning.  Before I explain it, let me state that Motivated Reasoning is universal and automatic; therefore, regardless of who you are, how intelligent you think you are, and what your political perspective is, YOU are vulnerable to it’s impact.

Here are some definitions of Motivated Reasoning:

• Motivated reasoning is a form of reasoning in which people access, construct, and evaluate arguments in a biased fashion to arrive at or endorse a preferred conclusion.¹
• Motivated reasoning leads people to confirm what they already believe, while ignoring contrary data. But it also drives people to develop elaborate rationalizations to justify holding beliefs that logic and evidence have shown to be wrong.²
• Motivated reasoning, … describes our tendency to accept what we want to believe with much more ease and much less analysis than what we don’t want to believe.³

Here are the key things to keep in mind about Motivated Reasoning:

1. this bias leads us to accept what we want to believe
2. we do so while ignoring contrary evidence, and empirically established facts
3. we do so while developing elaborate rationalizations in order to justify such biases
4. we do it with ease, meaning that it is automatic – it is occurring subconsciously

I have written about related concepts that serve as the foundation of this tendency.  First, there is the concept of Confirmation Bias which is the automatic inclination to take in, and accept as true, information that supports our belief systems, and miss, ignore, or discount information that runs contrary to our beliefs.⁴   It leads us to “believe” things like that full moons directly influence people’s behavior (which is not supported by empirical evidence).  “It shapes our religious and political beliefs, our parenting choices, our teaching strategies, and our romantic and social relationships.  It also plays a significant role in the development of stereotypes and the maintenance of prejudices.”⁴  Secondly there is Spinoza’s Conjecture.  “Benedict Spinoza, a 17th-century Dutch philosopher, wrote with great insight that “mere comprehension of a statement entails the tacit acceptance of it being true, whereas disbelief requires a subsequent process of rejection.”  What this suggests is that we are likely to accept, as true, a statement that makes immediate sense to us. But we can also infer that we are, in general, unlikely to critically scrutinize such logical statements.  A further implication is that we are likely to reject statements that don’t make immediate sense to us.”⁵

By appreciating the concepts of Confirmation Bias and Spinoza’s Conjecture one is inclined to gain a deep understanding of Motivated Reasoning.  At the basis of each of these concepts are one’s beliefs or what one believes to be true.  A belief is defined as “an acceptance that something exists or is true, especially one without proof.”⁶  Belief is something that often necessarily involves a leap of faith, like a belief in God, or the acceptance of a particular political ideology.  Beliefs are generally thought to be influenced by morality.  And with regard to politics, there is evidence to suggest that political beliefs “… are often guided by our Moral Foundations.⁷”  According to Jonathon Haidt, a prominent Social Psychologist, there are five universal morals.  Haidt’s research has indicated that liberals tend to value two of those morals (care and fairness), at a higher level than their conservative counterparts, and likewise compared to conservatives, hold a lower valuation of the other three (ingroup loyalty, authority and purity/sanctity).⁸   In related research Haidt⁹ has found that liberals value the rights and welfare of all individuals and tend to express “widespread human concern about caring, nurturing, and protecting vulnerable individuals from harm.”  Conservatives instead, express moral proclivities that “emphasize social cohesiveness and social order with a focus on loyalty, obedience, duty, self-restraint, respect of authority, piety, self-sacrifice for the group, vigilance for traitors or free-loaders, and orderly cultural boundaries.”

Another difference between those with liberal versus conservative ideological notions is related to future focus as opposed to a nostalgic one.  Whereas liberals tend to be inspired by “Hope and Change,” with a focus on making things better than they have ever been, conservatives tend to be nostalgic, seeing society’s trajectory as being regressive.  Conservatives tend to value the past and want to get back to it (e.g., “Make America Great Again“).

Granted, these are just a few of many variables that drive Motivated Reasoning.  The point is that there are a number of complicated factors that set people up for opposing beliefs.  These differences in perspective fuel our cognitive biases, and greatly affect what we are likely to accept as true.  From this evolves the concept of “truthiness” whereby people, regardless of ideology, accept information as being true, particularly if it supports their already held beliefs, and reject as “Fake” those facts that place their beliefs in doubt.

So how do we get around this automatic inclination?  The first step is to accept the concept of Motivated Reasoning as being real.  If you do not, facts and truth are irrelevant to you, and you are beyond hope.  If you can accept this reality, then you need to be willing step back from your deep convictions and open yourself up to seeing how those convictions shape your ingestion and acceptance of information.  Secondly, you need to critically evaluate the sources of your information.  There are news organizations out there that prosper from feeding Motivated Reasoning.   Here’s the rub, your Motivated Reasoning will distort your perspective on what news sources to trust.  Again, at the risk of being redundant, I urge you to keep in mind that your deeply held beliefs set you up for erroneous thinking.  It is ideology that is the culprit.  Finally, you must embrace evidence, and gather facts from sources that value evidence over ideology.

All of this is difficult, necessitating much cognitive effort, and the process is likely to make you feel uncomfortable.  Here is a hint, avoid cable news, particularly those networks with clear political objectives (you know who they are).  Below I have listed a few articles and sites to help you in your efforts to overcome your natural brain biases.  By gathering evidenced based information, and by avoiding inherently biased news, you will expand your understanding of the complexities of our world.  The discomfort you will likely experience by doing so, is called cognitive dissonance.  It is avoidance of dissonance that keeps you in your echo chamber and susceptible to alternative facts.  The only way around this bias is to push through the pain: and only by experiencing that discomfort, will you be able to accurately reject fake news.

Tools for assessing the veracity of your preferred news outlets:

1. Forbes 10 Journalism Brands Where You Find Real Facts Rather Than Alternative Facts¹⁰ 
2. Media Bias Fact Check¹¹
   1. Pro-Science
   2. Least Biased
   3. Left-Center Bias
   4. Left Bias
   5. Right-Center Bias
   6. Right Bias
3. FactCheck.org¹²

And here is a handy Info Graphic for you to assess the bias level and fact worthiness of your news sources.

References

1.  Motivated Reasoning Psychology Reference and Research: https://psychology.iresearchnet.com/social-psychology/attitudes/motivated-reasoning/
2. Motivated Reasoning The Skeptic’s Dictionary: http://skepdic.com/motivatedreasoning.html

3. Psychology’s Treacherous Trio: Confirmation Bias, Cognitive Dissonance, and Motivated Reasoning Why We Reason: https://whywereason.com/2011/09/07/psychologys-treacherous-trio-confirmation-bias-cognitive-dissonance-and-motivated-reasoning/

4. Confirmation Bias How Do You Think? http://geraldguild.com/blog/2010/01/29/confirmation-bias/

5. Spinoza’s Conjecture How Do You Think?  http://geraldguild.com/blog/2010/01/22/spinozas-conjecture

6. Definition of belief: English Oxford Dictionary: https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/belief
7. Haidt, J. (2008). What Makes People Vote Republican? http://www.edge.org/3rd_culture/haidt08/haidt08_index.html
8. Moral Foundations Theory How Do You Think? http://geraldguild.com/blog/2010/09/24/moral-foundations-theory/
9. Graham, J., Haidt, J., and Nosek, B. (2009). Liberals and conservatives rely on different moral foundations. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 96, No. 5, 1029–1046
10. Forbes 10 Journalism Brands Where You Find Real Facts Rather Than Alternative Facts
11. Media Bias Fact Check
12. FactCheck.org

There are common themes among the reasons why children misbehave. These include:

1. ESCAPE/AVOIDANCE – Often children misbehave in order to escape or avoid having to do something undesirable (e.g., having to come inside after playing outside, having to sit to eat, having to go to bed, having to do school work).
2. TO GET ATTENTION – Some negative behaviors occur because the child wants attention and doesn’t care whether it’s positive or negative attention. Sometimes negative behaviors occur because s/he is not being attended to for positive behavior, and/or the child actually enjoys getting adults upset.  One common example: there is nothing more fun than running away from an adult and being chased. 
3. TO GET AN ITEM OR ACTIVITY – Some children discover that if they misbehave they get what they want. The classic example is throwing a temper tantrum at a store to get a toy or a piece of candy.
4. TO GET SENSORY INPUT – The negative behavior may itself provide enjoyable feelings (e.g., running, climbing, and hand flapping or rocking may be naturally reinforcing – they just feel good or make them feel better).

It is important to determine whether any or all of these are occurring in such a way that encourages the problematic behavior.  But it is also important to understand whether:

1. The child understands that the negative behavior is unacceptable
2. The child understands what to do instead of the negative behavior (e.g., has the skills to do what we want to see)
3. The child has rational control over his/her behavior
4. Our expectations are appropriate for the child (e.g., Can s/he do what we want him or her to do?, Are we expecting too much?, Is the circumstance too overwhelming for the child?, etc.)
5. There is sufficient motivation/incentive for the child to do what we want? Is the reinforcement for the negative behavior greater than the reinforcement available for what we want to see?

Whenever I am asked to help staff or parents address a negative behavior – I always investigate all of the above issues.  I also look into the following things:

1. Have there been any major changes in the child’s life (e.g., changes in living circumstances including where home is, the birth of a sibling, parental discord or separation, an absence or illness of a major care provider, more stress at home, and a major change in the routine of life)? It is important to note that even changes in daylight savings time or the chaos of the holidays can be very disruptive.  Another major change, as is certainly the case now, includes major breaks from school.
2. Is the child suffering with an illness or unusual discomfort (e.g., an infection, GI Issues, dental issues)?
3. When did the behavior start?
4. What is the trend (e.g., is it getting worse)?
5. When is the problem behavior occurring the most and when is it least likely to occur?

It is important to investigate all of these issues and to do so thoroughly.  Only through such an analysis are we likely to come to an understanding of WHY the behavior is occurring and what we can effectively do to reduce the behavior.  Here are some Key Thoughts to keep in mind as you conduct an analysis of your child’s problematic behavior:

1. Always try to look at the above issues from the child’s perspective
2. Journal the behavior using the following guidelines on the Negative Behavior Journal
3. LIMIT YOU EFFORTS TO ONE BEHAVIOR AT A TIME.

The following guidelines are designed to help you journal the negative behavior.  I highly advise that you document each occurrence of the negative behavior on the Negative Behavior Journal immediately following the behavior, paying special attention to each of the following:

Setting/Activity:

• Specify:
  • The physical location of the difficulty
  • The activity the child was involved in prior to the difficulty
• Pay attention to the things going on that likely affect the child (e.g., demands, environmental stimuli, automatically reinforcing behaviors)

Antecedent:

• The antecedent is the stimuli or event that happened immediately prior to the negative behavior. It is important to note that the connection between the antecedent and the negative behavior are not always immediately clear.  Journal the behavior over a period of time (at least one week).
• Examples of possible Antecedents (triggers):
  • A desirable activity was terminated (you took away something fun)
  • A desirable activity asked for by the child, but you said “No.”
  • A demand for work was placed on the child
  • Something aversive (unpleasant) occurred in the environment or entered the environment
  • The child had to transition away from a highly desirable activity to a less preferred or unpleasant activity

Behavior:

• What specifically did the child do? (e.g., hit, scream, drop, head bang, bite, run away)

Consequences:

• From the child’s perspective – what occurred in the environment in response to his or her behavior that may encourage or discourage the negative behavior itself? For example did the child:
  • Escape a demand or at least avoid it for a while because s/he engaged in the negative behavior?
  • Did s/he get to sustain involvement in the desired activity for a longer period of time because s/he engaged in the negative behavior?
  • Did s/he capture you attention (positive or negative) or get something s/he wanted because s/he engaged in the negative behavior?
  • Did s/he get pleasure out of agitating the care-provider or his/her peers?
  • Have to deal with you calmly asserting a demand with escalating insistence until s/he did what you wanted? (generally a good thing)

Comments:

• Think about both the immediate circumstances and the long term implications of the interplay between the environment, the antecedents, his or her behavior, and the consequences of the negative behavior.
  • Is the environment set up to facilitate positive desirable behaviors (success) or negative behaviors (failure)?
  • Does the child know what positive behavior is expected in place of the negative behavior?
  • Is the reinforcement for the desired behavior strong enough to actually motivate him/her to do it?
  • Did my response increase or decrease the likelihood that the problematic behavior will occur again in the future?
  • What natural (automatic) reinforcers are at play here?
  • Really, what is the child getting from this situation?

Do the best you can to understand the WHY of the behavior and journal the negative behavior for at least one week.  Doing so will help you understand more thoroughly the dynamics in place that contribute to the negative behavior and perhaps inadvertently encourage it.  Use the following Negative Behavior Journal to record every occurrence of the negative behavior targeted for reduction.  Try to be honest about your behavior and inconsistencies (if any).  Nobody is perfect and this is a learning process.  Success in this process comes when you:

• Behave as if you are a detective attempting to uncover the clues to a great mystery
• Make substantial efforts to enter the mindset of the child and attempt to look at the world through his or her eyes (and other senses)
• Accept that:
  • Most negative behaviors occur for a reason – they DO NOT tend to occur out of the blue (for no particular reason)
  • For each negative behavior there may be several reasons WHY – pay attention to the behavior over time and consider all possible functions of the behavior. For example the child may run away from you when you set a limit (tell him or her “NO!” ) or when they want your attention (e.g., want to play a cat and mouse chase game).
  • Children tend to do what works for them – We must learn WHY it works for them and then change WHAT works for them
  • There may be things in the environment that trigger the behavior (e.g., sounds, people, demands)
  • In order to change your child’s behavior, you will first likely have to change your own behavior and/or expectations
    • There may be things that you do that inadvertently encourage or maintain the behavior
    • There may be changes necessary with regard to your expectations
  • The most efficient way to change a negative behavior is to do the hard work to understand what is truly going on. You will also have to accept that it takes time and effort to understand WHY – there are no short cuts
  • Once you think you understand WHY, it takes time to develop a good intervention plan – take the time to do so carefully with investment and input from ALL care providers
  • A shared parenting plan is essential – inconsistency across parents will definitely weaken the intervention
  • If you are inconsistent in your dealings with the behavior across time, it will take even longer to reduce the negative behavior itself
  • Most negative behaviors serve a purpose for the child. Our job is to make the negative behavior less purposeful – and make a desirable behavior more purposeful for the child.  If the negative behavior “works” for the child just now and then, it will take much longer to eliminate the negative behavior. 
  • Behavior change takes time – your plan may start to work right away – but there is a good chance it will get worse for a while – so don’t give up right away – some children with very challenging behaviors are particularly skilled at getting the adults around them to give up on behavior change plans

Click here for the Negative Behavior Journal (pdf)

THERE IS A LOT TO THINK ABOUT HERE.  FOR GUIDANCE AND SUPPORT, PLEASE REACH OUT TO YOUR CHILD’S TEACHER OR THERAPIST.  PERHAPS THEY CAN ASSIST YOU OR LINK YOU WITH A BEHAVIOR SPECIALIST.

Technological Problems

There are many technological challenges that may be a product of the platform used (e.g., Zoom, Microsoft Teams, Google Classroom, FaceTime, Skype, etc.) and the technical skills of the users (including you, the parent, and the student).  Other issues that may contribute to the challenges are the devices used (e.g., smartphone, tablet, and/or laptop/desktop computer), the operating system used (e.g., Windows 10, Apple iOS), and cell phone receptivity or internet broadband width.  Variations among these variables will affect the quality and consistency of interaction through this medium.

1. Platform Issues – Various platforms have different capabilities making them either quite basic (e.g., Microsoft Teams, Skype, FaceTime, Facebook Messenger) or sophisticated (e.g., Zoom). The basic platforms are good for one-way teaching (e.g., lectures, storytelling, guided movement, counseling, or consultation).  Zoom for example, is capable of more interactive back and forth instruction using videos, boom-cards, and instructional apps and games across multiple devices.  These capabilities offer significant instructional advantages; however, they require more technical skills from the teacher/therapist and even the parent/child.  The bottom line is that you must:
   1. Choose the platform that is best for the purposes you have in mind.
   2. Learn how to use the platform(s) you choose (e.g., through online training videos and practice).
   3. Know which web browsers and devices support your platform of choice (e.g., Zoom works best on a computer using Chrome as a web browser as opposed to phones/tablets that have reduced interactivity).
   4. Help the parents make appropriate accommodations, downloads, etc.
2. Anticipate that there will be problems based on the variation in devices, operating systems, web browsers, and the bandwidth available to each individual, and PLAN ACCORDINGLY. You will have to adjust your expectations based on the reality of the resources available in the student’s home.
3. Work through all these issues with the parent first before trying to teach your students.
4. Adjust your plans and expectations based on the tools and skills available. Technological hiccups during instruction have the effect of degrading the quality of instruction, as well as the willingness of the learner.

Student Cooperation

Tele-therapy necessitates the development of new skill sets for both you as a teacher (as you well know) and for the students as learners.  Provided your skills are at a point where you have started instructional tele-therapy, and you have taken the steps to facilitate the technology in your student’s home, your first job should have included teaching the child how to be a remote learner.  If not, you will have to back up (more on this in a minute).  Success is also dependent on building and sustaining rapport with the parent.  They are your allies in the instructional process – your eyes, ears, and hands.  They will facilitate or hinder your access to the student and they are absolutely key to your success. 

1. If you have both good access to the child and caregiver support, but you are struggling with maintaining student engagement and/or attention, you must assess whether the problem is:
   1. environmental (e.g., struggles with competing distractions, struggles with equipment interface), OR
   2. behavioral (e.g., the child doesn’t have the skills or motivation to attend).
2. If the problem is Environmental – based on barriers within the home environment, use the Tip Sheet I’ve developed for helping the parent set up the environment for success (https://bit.ly/3btkNpc).
3. If the problem is Behavioral – the child is struggling with sustaining attention and/or following instructions appropriately during instruction, I highly recommend that you use the Tip Sheet I’ve developed for teaching instructional control (https://bit.ly/3bzAECy).
4. The keys to success are mastery of the technology, having the parents as collaborative teaching partners, fostering a good learning environment, and well planned lessons that are realistic in terms of the technological limits in place, the capabilities of the child, and the demand load you place on the child.

Developed by Gerald T. Guild, PhD, Licensed Psychologist and Behavior Specialist

My wife (Kimberly) and I decided to make and share a top ten list of our favorite TV Shows from the last 5 years (some reaching back further in time).  The task of consolidating them down to merely ten shows proved more challenging than we anticipated – so we employed a multi-tiered ranking system and both of us independently ranked each show within that tier.  Although ultimately our list includes 37 shows, you can infer the top ten, because they are in rank order under categories of The Very Best, Excellent, Very Good, Good, and Good but Faded.  The latter category includes shows that were initially captivating, but they lost our interest over time. 

We have watched each of these shows, and all of them left us wanting more at the end of each episode.  That longing for more is what made, in our opinion, these shows binge worthy.  The Very Best and Excellent shows and even some of the Very Good shows truly captivated us and we found ourselves talking or thinking about the characters the next day.  Production quality, artistry (as in The Handmaid’s Tale), and both character and plot development played important roles in sustaining our interest.  Epic stories with multiple characters and big complicated story lines elicited intrigue, confusion, and the formation of hunches that we absolutely needed to see unfold.

The average IMDb score on our list was 8.2 out of 10 and the average Rotten Tomatoes (and in a few cases Percent of Google Users liked) score was 86.5%. A close (statistical) look at these ratings indicates that there is a diminishing trend of score quality from our top rated shows to those at the bottom of our list.  It appears that professional and lay people think highly of most of these shows, and overall, they concur with our ranking system.  We have also included the Genre and TV rating level for each show.  Most of our preferred shows are Action/Adventure/Dramas, many with a SciFi twist.  Our preferences also trend toward shows for Mature Audiences (MA) only, but there are several family friendly or TV-14 and/or PG shows. 

The Very Best

1. Game of Thrones (HBO) IMDb 9.3/10 89% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) – Action/Drama/Adventure
2. The Handmaid’s Tale (Hulu) IMDb 8.5/10 88% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) – Drama/Sci-Fi/Thriller

Excellent

1. Black Sails (Starz and Hulu) IMDb 8.2/10 81% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Adventure/Drama – This TV Show is a fictional prequel to the book: Treasure Island
2. Madam Secretary (CBS) IMDb 7.6/10 92% Google Users Like (Family) Political Drama
3. Outlander (Starz) IMDb 8.4/10 91% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Drama/Fantasy/Romance
4. Mr. Robot (USA Network, Hulu) IMDb 8.5/10 94% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Crime/Drama/Thriller
5. Chernobyl (HBO) IMDb 9.4/10 96% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Drama/History/Thriller
6. Mars (National Geographic, Netflix, Hulu) IMDb 7.5/10 95% Google Users like (TV-PG) Adventure/ Drama/Sci-Fi
7. Man in the High Castle (Amazon Prime Video) IMDb 8/10 84% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Drama/Sci-Fi/ Thriller
8. Counterpart (Starz, Amazon Prime Video) IMDb 8.1/10 100% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Drama/Sci-Fi/Thriller
9. Fleabag (Amazon Prime Video) IMDb 8.7/10 100% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Comedy/Drama
10. Travelers (Netflix) IMDb 8.1/10 100% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Drama/Mystery/Sci-Fi/Thriller
11. Carnival Row (Amazon Prime Video) IMDb 7.9/10 57% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Crime/Drama/Fantasy/ Mystery/Thriller
12. His Dark Material (HBO) IMDb 8.5/10 94% Rotten Tomatoes (TV-14) Adventure/Drama/Family/ Fantasy
13. Blue Planet II (BBC America) IMDb 9.4/10 97% Rotten Tomatoes (TV-G) Documentary                                                                                                                

Very Good

1. The Expanse (Amazon Prime Video) IMDb 8.5/10 93% Rotten Tomatoes (TV-14) Drama/Mystery/Sci-Fi/Thriller
2. Justified (Hulu) IMDb 8.6/10 97% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Action/Crime/Drama/Mystery/Thriller
3. Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan (Amazon Prime Video) IMDb 8.1/10 71% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Action/ Drama/Thriller
4. Westworld (HBO) IMDb 8.7/10 85% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Drama/Mystery/Sci-Fi/Western
5. Homeland (Showtime, Hulu) IMDb 8.3/10 85% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Crime/Drama/Mystery/Thriller
6. The Outsider (HBO) IMDb 8.0/10 82% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Crime/Drama/Mystery/Thriller
7. Hunters (Amazon Prime Video) IMDb 7.2/10 63% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Crime/Drama/Mystery
8. Marvel’s Agents of Shield (ABC, Netflix) IMDb 7.5/10 94% Rotten Tomatoes (TV-PG) Action/Adventure/Drama/Sci-Fi/Thriller
9. Altered Carbon (Netflix) IMDb 8.1/10 76% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Action/Drama/Sci-Fi/Thriller
10. The Deuce (HBO) IMDb 8.1/10 93% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Drama
11. Ozark (Netflix) IMDb 8.4/10 81% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Crime/Drama/Thriller
12. Mindhunter (Netflix) IMDb 8.6/10 97% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Crime/Drama/Thriller
13. The Mandalorian (Disney+) IMDb 8.7/10 93% Rotten Tomatoes (TV-PG) Action/Adventure/SciFi

Good

1. The Blacklist (NBC, Netflix) IMDb 8/10 91% Rotten Tomatoes (TV-14) Crime/Drama/Mystery/Thriller
2. Hanna (Amazon Prime Video) IMDb 7.5/10 97% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Action/Drama
3. The OA (Netflix) IMDb 7.9/10 84% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Drama/Fantasy/Mystery/Sci-Fi
4. The Witcher (Netflix) IMDb 8.3/10 67% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Action/Adventure/Drama/Fantasy/Horror/Mystery
5. Nightflyers (Syfy, Netflix) IMDb 5.9/10 35% Rotten Tomatoes (TV-14) Horror/Sci-Fi

Good but Faded Over Time

1. Jessica Jones (Netflix) IMDb 8.0/10 83% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Action/Crime/Drama/Sci-Fi/Thriller
2. Girls (HBO) IMDb 7.3/10 89% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Comedy/Drama
3. Peaky Blinders (BBC, Netflix) IMDb 8.8/10 92% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Crime/Drama
4. Love (Netflix) IMDb 7.7/10 94% Rotten Tomatoes (MA) Comedy/Drama/Romance
5. Stranger Things (Netflix) IMDb 8.8/10 93% Rotten Tomatoes (TV-14) Horror

Strategies that will help make this work:

1. Set the Environment Up for Success. There are several extremely important objectives here:
   1. The instructor must be very clear with you about their goals, objectives, and expectations. You will be the instructor’s eyes, ears, and hands, so if you need help or support – please ask for it!
   2. Work through the technological barriers FIRST. Download the necessary apps and/or programs as guided by the instructor and be prepared to practice with the instructor before your child is asked to participate.  Getting the technology set up and working can be the most challenging step in this entire process.  Patience is important.  You should also know in advance what device will be used, how it will be used, and where it will be used.   
   3. Set up the environment in order to eliminate competing distractions. The specifics of this will depend on your child and your home, but your child will need a good learning environment (e.g., a quiet room, no siblings watching TV or playing nearby, and minimal access to distracting toys, etc.).
   4. The instructor may suggest using visual schedules, When-Then contingencies, and preceding the session with sensory activities that increase focus. The instructor should help you get these things set up.
2. The Instructor will likely want to start slowly and focus on making it fun. Once the technology is working, you know what to expect, and the environment is set up for success, the instructor will likely start by having fun with your child.  They will minimize demands so that your child learns that this video conferencing thing is fun and that their instructor is just as fun on the screen as in person.  The early sessions may be kept short (perhaps very short).  This will require pre-planning – you will likely have to help the instructor know what your child enjoys at home so that they can tap into those interests.
3. Use Positive Behavioral Strategies. The instructor will want to work out a plan for ongoing reinforcement of appropriate attending and participating behavior during the session.  You may be asked to provide those reinforcers during the session.  They may also suggest that you follow the session with a special activity, toy, or treat to reward their hard work (even if it was just play).  This too will require advanced planning and ongoing communication with the instructor.  Please understand that these rewards are for success during the session and that they are important tools in teaching this new skill set.
4. Demands will be placed gradually. The instructor will SLOWLY start folding in small demands as your child’s attending and participation skills improve.  The instructor should initially prioritize making your child feel successful during this new type of instruction.
5. Be Attentive. Both you and the instructor should continually attend to the child’s level of interest in the activities, his or her level of focus, and how conducive the environment is to learning.  It may be necessary to adjust and modify expectations throughout the session.  The instructor will try to end the session before the child’s interest and motivation disappears.  Also they will want to end it on a positive note.  Talking about how the session went, at the end of the session, will be important to the ongoing success of this approach. 
6. Continually Adjust Strategies and Expectations. It will be important to continually assess, adapt, and adjust the strategies, as well as everyone’s expectations throughout each session.  The same is true regarding the quality of the learning environment and the use of reinforcers. 
7. Have Fun & Make it Fun! Brainstorm games, the use of favorite toys, stories, and songs, as well as activities (including physical movement) that can be implemented while video conferencing.  Be creative, be silly, and remember that rule number one is: Have Fun!

Developed by Dr. Gerald T. Guild, PhD, Licensed Psychologist and Behavior Specialist at The Children’s League in Springville, New York and by Kimberly Guild, MS, SLP-CCC, Speech Language Pathologist at Cattaraugus-Allegany BOCES in Olean, NY