How Not To Play XBox 360

Chapter 33: 797 days later...

2011-06-28T23:11:00.006+01:00

Hmm.

I'm really not sure how to start this post since its been 2 years, 2 months and 6 days since my last update.

I guess an explanation would be a good place.

This blog was created back in 2009 as part of a university module I was on. Suffice to say this blog got me a good mark. But once the module had ended, I abandoned it and left it to rot.

Which is all a shame really.

Looking back now, it isn't that bad. It had some solid ideas and some good posts. Sure there's some poor phrasing, and a LOT of grammatical errors (something I fear will never leave me), but overall I did enjoy writing on here.

I found the blog a few weeks back and since then have had the itch to get back to writing. I decided to clean the place up a bit by updating the sidebar and changing some of the colour scheme, all ready for a glorious return.

However, something was bothering me, something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

Until yesterday.

The problem is that the overall theme of the blog was that I was new to online gaming and writing my experiences as I went. Two years on, that isn't the case. I am no longer a casual gamer, but a fully-fledged member of the hardcore fraternity.

So for me, it loses the USP that hopefully made it much more interesting than the standard gaming blog.

So for now, i'm in a quandry.

Do I return to this blog, changing the theme (including the awful banner) and go from there?

Or do I start afresh making a broader, more accessible blog; one that covers gaming, movies, TV and other areas of entertainment?

I've been mulling this over now for a few hours and i'm still not sure. I may have to sleep on it.

So for now I bid you adieu. I may return full-time, or I may simply post a farewell and a link to my new blog.

Either way, I promise it will take less than 797 days for me to post again.

Chapter 32: The Pull of Multiplayer...A Ruling Addiction

2009-04-22T13:35:00.007+01:00

- credit plynoi

In the past couple of days i've been pondering the appeal of online multiplayer.

After all, 8 months ago I didn't have XBox Live and my life seemed a little less pre-occupied and my personality a lot less addictive.

Now it's all changed.

The past 2 weeks, since Easter really (or Map Pack 1), i've been pretty hooked as you are all aware on Call of Duty: World at War.

Now a number of problems come from this.

One, I can't keep writing about playing CoD on this blog all the time as it is boring to you.

Two, what do I really achieve from it all?

I mean so far since October i've clocked up 2 days, 3 hours of gametime on one game. And for what?

At level 65 you reach prestige and get a secret achievment of 0 gamerpoints (why?), other than that, nothing. You don't gain anything, you earn nothing. You just keep going.

The truth is though, it's fun.

After a while, you can kill all the AI in the world and it will get well mundane.

But online, every game is different. Sure it's frustrating. Really frustrating. Horrid in fact.

Especially when you're clearly facing people with no lives who absolutely destroy you at every turn.

But playing with friends, teaming up, unleashing hell, that's awesome.

So awesome that i've been thinking of expanding my online gaming past CoD and Halo 3. Maybe Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (backwards I know but it's still very popular) or Gears of War 2 (haven't played either but all the kids are down with it).

So yeah, something to think about today.

Better than watching the Budget....Am I Right?

Chapter 31: Reasons why Batman: Arkham Asylum Will Rule

2009-04-20T00:10:00.009+01:00

- credit berbercarpet

So I promised a blog post and I will deliver.

Be warned, i've just finished playing 5 straight hours of Call of Duty: World at War so my brain is frazzled.

Basically as I've said before June is a great month for XBox games. The Ghostbusters game is released but also Batman: Arkham Asylum.

And Eidos have promised it will be the best Batman game EVER!

It looks awesome. The plot revolves around the Joker trapping Batman in Arkham Asylum and the caped crusader having to go round and kick butt. All the voices come from the Animated Series and the gameplay involves stealth and action. Imagine Metal Gear Solid combined with erm Batman.

Below are two preview videos that have been released about some of the villians in the game. Remember when Bane was in Batman & Robin the movie and sucked? Well Bane in this game looks badass!!!!!

He broke Batman's back in the comics and he looks like he could destroy him here too. There's also one of Harley Quinn who I've never truly appreciated but they slutted her out so that's cool. Enjoy.

Chapter 30: A Part Update/ A Part Review/ A Part Achievements of the Week 10-17 April

2009-04-17T12:47:00.005+01:00

- credit chrisjohnbeckett

Steady yourselves people, the title didn't lie.

This is a HUGE update on all things going on with me and my blog. Again I apologise for lack of updates lately, but I have work to do. Work I don't do. Work I continuously struggle to complete.

So let's give you a run-down of all things going on XBox-wise with moi, the blog master.

I am continuing my quest to play as much Call of Duty: World at War whilst at the same time lowering my kill/death ratio as much as humanely possible. It sucks. I'm down to 0.83. Now I know a lot of you may be thinking i'm whining about nothing, but within my group circle, the prestigious K/D Spread is seen as a sign of excellance.

Without it, I am nothing but a mere n00b.

Apart from that I have moved on to a new game. Mr. Dan, my esteemed colleague and housemate has lent me the Robert Ludlem's The Bourne Conspiracy game.

So here comes the review part of this post.

After playing it for an hour last night, i'm quite torn on how much I like this game. On the one hand, it's an awesome movie tie-in that really gives you a sense of being Jason Bourne. The story is mainly taken from the Bourne Identity and the fight scenes are well choreagraphed.

On the other hand, the game is massively flawed. Those said fights, whilst cool at first, soon become repetative and boring, only split up by Bourne's different takedown maneuvers.

The targetting, aiming and shooting systems are all crap. Do you remember Bourne in the trilogy going around with a shotgun picking off baddies like a pissed John McClane? No? Me neither. It happens in this game.

I understand you can't just have Bourne stealth kicking ass through the whole game and some gunplay splits it up. But Bourne only used a gun when required in the films because he rocked the shizz at hand-to-hand. He didn't blow guys heads off at will.

So that's what i've got so far.

Rating: 7/10

Gamerpoints achieved so far: 35/1000

And finally, the gamerpoints for this week.

I would split this up into a seperate post. But again, there isn't many gamerpoints and i'm in the rhythm right now.

16/04/2009- Dangerous Beginning (The Bourne Conspiracy): Completed Dangerous Beginning (15G)

16/04/2009- Homebody (The Bourne Conspiracy): Collected 5 passports (5G)

16/04/2009- Shipyard Infiltration (The Bourne Conspiracy): Completed Shipyard Infiltration (15G)

Total Gamerpoints: 35

Gamerpoints review so far:

13-20 Feb: 160
20-27 Feb: 60
27-6 March: 270
6-13 March: 35
13-20 March: 530
20-27 March: 45
27-3 April: 0
3-10 April: 25
10-17 April: 35

So as you can see we're improving each week. So that's good news.

Anyway, that is the end of my mega super update. I promise more content will be added over the weekend and I won't neglect. Honest.

As normal, comment below with anything you want. As long as it's not mean.

Chapter 29: Achievements of the Week 3-10 April

2009-04-12T00:10:00.003+01:00

- credit dullhunk

So here is the belated run-down of this week's XBox achievements. After last week's rather unimpressive 0 gamerpoints, you'll be pleased to be informed that I have achieved something, yay!

It's not a lot, but it will do.

Please bear in mind when judging me that I have been trying to do work this week. Also i've spent the majority of the week back in love with the Call of Duty: World at War multiplayer and trying my best (and failing) to improve my kill/death ratio and own the n00bs.

Oh and credit Scott Thomas with this first achievement. He got it after I tried for about 3 months, so kudos to him. It was a joyous moment.

04/04/2009- Bend it like a pro (Fifa09): Score from a free kick in a match (15G)

10/04/2009- The Gipson Curse (Fifa09): Go into an online match after choosing your own arena player (10G)

Total Gamerpoints: 25

Gamerpoints review so far:

13-20 Feb: 160
20-27 Feb: 60
27-6 March: 270
6-13 March: 35
13-20 March: 530
20-27 March: 45
27-3 April: 0
3-10 April: 25

Chapter 28: War, What Is It Good For? Lowering K/D Ratios But Pwning N00bs.

2009-04-09T20:22:00.005+01:00

- credit tonyolm

Just been playing Call of Duty: World at War again on multiplayer with Dan.

One great mode one should play if they ever get the chance is the War mode. It's awesome, basically it's 6 vs 6 and you have to capture flags. It's all out carnage. Brutal but brilliant.

A lot more thought tactically has to go into it than in the Team Deathmatch mode (which is the most popular).

I've certainly had a gay old time on there.

Check it out. Here is a video of the gameplay. Tis not the best quality but going on Youtube and looking for the war mode springs up a ridiculous amount of Nazi zombie videos. And who wants to see that?

EDIT: Just watched the video with the volume up. That is not me narrating. One, i'm not American. Two, i'm nowhere near as good as this guy.

Chapter 27: Nostalgia Rules The Start Of The Week

2009-04-07T20:36:00.005+01:00

- credit mharrsch

So I thought I would update you on things (that is what a blog is for anyway).

So as XBox continues its very slow and painful push towards summer and the hot new releases that wait upon us then, I have been drawn back into my PS2.

This is partly down to Wrestlemania 25. I've been a wrestling fan since I was like 12 and have always watched it on and off through the years. Since I moved to Uni, i've kinda lost touch. But we ordered WM25 cause it's cool like.

Yesterday in the aftermath of the event (Undertaker vs HBK= sick) me and Scott (PLUG! Check his blog here) went to town and bought WWE SmackDown: Here Comes the Pain for a beautiful £1.50 from CEX.

What a bargain.

And so we played it...for hours.

It's an awesome game. Check it out. We're currently trying to get Kane to Wrestlemania.

I should be doing an important dissertation, I haven't though.

That is my update.

Chapter 26: Achievements of the Week 27 March- 3 April

2009-04-05T14:27:00.002+01:00

- credit cobalt123

There were no achievements this week.

That is all.

Chapter 25: Those N00bs Can't Touch This

2009-04-01T14:20:00.004+01:00

- credit brava_67

Just wanted to pop by to tell you this small tale from last night.

Basically, i've never been very good at Call of Duty: World at War. Online after almost 4-5 months of gameplay i'm still only level 52. I have yet to reach prestige.

Out of my 12 friends who play the game, I have one of the worst K/D spreads (kills to death ratio), it sits at 0.84 at time of writing.

But yesterday me and Dan decided to play some COD for the first time in over a month. And frankly, I rawked it.

For some reason, I had a great session. Either the game has become infested with n00bs, or the break has done me good.

I have yet to download the DLC for Map Pack 1 (although I've read that it has reached over 1 million downloads, read more on that here), but I have played the free day Makin download and it's pretty good.

On the Upheavel map though came my greatest game of COD ever. 20 kills, only 2 deaths. I released the dogs, they pwned 7 guys, it was glorious.

It may not seem like a huge achievement for most, but for me it is enough to tell you all about right now.

Note: How did you like my cool internet lingo?

Also, new Zero Punctuation today at 5pm GMT, check the linkometer to find your way there.

Chapter 24: A Total Lack Of Inspiration

2009-03-31T13:20:00.006+01:00

- credit Shaymus022

I keep complaining that things have been slow on this blog in the past few weeks. Those days of daily updates have long since disappeared. Partly, I have had other stuff to do (writing scripts, watching How I Met Your Mother). Partly, i'm inherently lazy all the time.

But I think mainly it's because I have a total lack of inspiration to play my 360 right now. Well, that isn't exactly true, I have nothing to play on my 360 that inspires me.

I had a great February where me and Dan bought Saints Row 2 and played through that and all in all it was an awesome game. Then I had Prince of Persia to finish which I really got into towards the end (until that lame ending).

Now, I have nothing I really want to play. I started GTA4 last Thursday and whilst it is a good game, I found Saints Row 2 more fun. Maybe I need to get into it more. Right now i'm on those missions where you're still setting the scene. Niko is beating up Albanians and we get crappy cutscenes at the taxi rank with Borat accents.

I play FIFA09 regularly but there isn't much to report on a blog about that other than when it decided to punk me and pretend it was broken last week.

Looking forward, June will be a great gaming month with Ghostbusters and Arkham Asylum coming out a week apart. Plus it's my 21st and I think i'm going to get a Nintendo DS and be cool like the other 75 million DS owners in the world.

But for now there is a void. I could play Gears of War 1 & 2, since i've never played either game. But I don't want too. I could play one of the million zombie games Dan owns. But zombies are lame. I could play Halo Wars. But then i'd be like my friend Richard who has left behind his social life for playing Rome: Total War or Empire or whatever it is called, i'm not really sure. Plus i'm not a huge fan of those games.

I could buy the new maps for Call of Duty:WaW but right now I can't afford rent, let alone DLC.

I have been lent Beautiful Katamari, (I have placed a review below for you, if you like, click the link and buy it for only a tenner), but after only one play i'm not feeling it yet. I don't know whether it is my kind of game.

So i'm stuck playing Mario Kart (still awesome, will never tire of it) and Crayon Physics Deluxe (google it if you don't know).

I'm going to see what Dan has in his collection later. I'm going to find a new game, hopefully. For now, i'll rant and rave at you at my small little problem. Because it's my blog....and I can.

Chapter 23: Ever Thought What It Would Look Like If Bowser And Mario Kissed?

2009-03-30T22:08:00.002+01:00

This video is odd.

Some of it is funny.

Some is weird.

But check it out if you have 5 minutes spare and want to see different sexual innuendos through gaming.

Chapter 22: Achievements of the Week 20-27 March

2009-03-29T12:45:00.007+01:00

- credit gamerscoreblog

Without further ado, 2 days later than planned, (I was writing a 16-page radio comedy script treatment on Friday, I have my excuses), here is my achievements of the previous week.

I'm not going to lie, it's poor.

22/03/2009- Fling yourself at it (FIFA09): Score with a diving header in a match (20G)

22/03/09- Screamer! (FIFA09): Score from over 30 yards out in a match (10G)

23/03/2009- Challenger (Street Fighter IV): Clear a Challenge in Challenge Mode (10G)

26/03/2009- Off the Boat (Grand Theft Auto 4): You have completed the first mission (5G)

Total Gamerpoints: 45

So a rather poor week after my previous best. Oh well. No excuses...other than the aforementioned script writing.

Gamerpoints review so far:

13-20 Feb: 160
20-27 Feb: 60
27-6 March: 270
6-13 March: 35
13-20 March: 530
20-27 March: 45

Chapter 21: XBox, FIFA09, Prince of Persia, A Big Ol' XBox Update...

2009-03-25T14:14:00.009+00:00

- credit tomasland

Hey!

Do you remember when this blog was updated daily, the sun shined in the sky and the world was a much better place?

You do?

I know, it was lovely.

Then do you remember the last couple of weeks where the blog was sporadically updated with totally off-topic Unicorn kidknapping videos?

You do?

You hated it?

Well have no fear friends, it is time to put things back on track with this huge XBox360 blog update post.

Hooray!!!

"Hail the conquering hero, na na na na na na" (- credit Aladdin)

So here is my XBox update. Yeux en avant...

So as you can see from my huge achievement post of Friday, I had rather a good time on the XBox last week.

Firstly, I completed Prince of Persia. It took me around 4 hours of Friday to do it, but it is done. It was a struggle, a real struggle. The Fall Out Boy Prince still hadn't learnt from our previous adventures and occasionally decided to leap to certain doom.

Also, the ending is ridiculous. You parkour your way around Persia (which is quite an unstable and rocky land I feel), free all the lands, take on some dragon boss, only to end the game undoing everything you've fought for in the past few hours...by cutting down some trees.

What a dick.

I hate that Prince so much. If Prince of Persia 2 is repeating the first game, I will be pissed.

The good thing was the huge amount of gamerpoints I received. Also, I beat the game in under 12 hours which is good for me and somehow, quite unbelievebly, I got the 100G achievement for being rescued by Elika less than 100 times in the whole game. I don't know how this happened. But it did.

Even better, Dan didn't get this achievement. He whined like a bitch about it, that was fun. The man has around 25,000 gamerpoints but he can't handle my flow.

Yesterday I had a mighty old scare. I wanted to play a game of FIFA09 but the game kept crashing at the loading screen. I feared my XBox version 2 was on it's way out after 6 months. Eventually it fixed itself but i'm still dubious. XBox disk drives seem unstable, and i'm paranoid.

My next game i'm aiming to tackle is GTA4. I've played through it before when I bought it last year. But as I wasn't a Gold member I lost all achievements when I went to ChocRaisin.

Let's hope Niko Bellic doesn't whine nearly as much this time around.

So there is your update.

Oh yeah, I bought a monocle too...then I lost it.

Gutted.

Chapter 20: On A Completely Different Note...

2009-03-23T22:38:00.001+00:00

Some days you don't play XBox360. Rather, you steal your friend's Unicorn and hold him to ransom.

Chapter 19: Achievements of the Week 13-20 March

2009-03-21T21:35:00.004+00:00

- credit s3rioussam

So it's a bit late than never, but Friday's regular achievement round-up is here.

It has been a good week for me XBox-wise. I've used gaming to distract me from writing a 9000 word dissertation. But can I beat 270 points, my best so far? I know for sure i've beaten last week's low of 35.

Tomorrow will come a retrospective gaming review. I received good feedback on my Aladdin piece last week.

So without further ado, my achievements:

15/03/2009- Hi Fidelity (Saints Row 2): Found all CDs in Stilwater (15G)

15/03/2009- All-City (Saints Row 2): Found and sprayed all 50 tags in Stilwater(10G)

15/03/2009- Splatster Chief (Saints Row 2): Completed all levels of Septic Avenger(15G)

17/03/2009- Where's My Car? (Saints Row 2): Delivered all the cars to the chop shops (10G)

18/03/2009- Light Seeds Collector (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, you have collected 200 Light Seeds (10G)

18/03/2009- Light Seeds Provider (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, you have collected 300 Light Seeds (10G)

18/03/2009- Throw Master (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, you have mastered throwing enemies (10G)

20/03/2009- Deflect Master (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, you have mastered the art of Deflecting (20G)

20/03/2009- Death of a Concubine (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, you have killed the Concubine (20G)

20/03/2009- Light Seeds Locator (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, you have collected 400 Light Seeds (10G)

20/03/2009- Death of a Warrior King (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, you have killed the Warrior (20G)

20/03/2009- Light Seeds Harvester (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, you have collected 500 Light Seeds (10G)

20/03/2009- Improviser (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, you used the environment to your advantage (10G)

20/03/2009- Climbing to New Heights! (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, you have found the highest place in the world (10G)

20/03/2009- Traitor's End (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, you have killed the Alchemist (20G)

20/03/2009- Light Seeds Hoarder (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, you have collected 600 Light Seeds (10G)

20/03/2009- Now who's the Hunter? (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, you have killed the Hunter (20G)

20/03/2009- Saviour of the City of Light (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, the world has been healed (50G)

20/03/2009- Explorer (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, you have explored the whole land (20G)

20/03/2009- From Darkness…Light! (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, you have reimprisoned Ahriman (30G)

20/03/2009: Speed Demon (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, you finished the game in under 12 hours (10G)

20/03/2009- To be continued… (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, the game is complete..the story has only just begun... (80G)

20/03/2009- Be gentle with her (Prince of Persia): Congratulations, you have been kind to Elika (100G)

These following achievements credit Amy Templeton..not moi:

20/03/2009- Mini Katamari (Beautiful Katamari): You made a katamari over 30cm! (5G)

20/03/2009- Request x 3 (Beautiful Katamari): Completed 3 Requests (5G)

Total Gamerpoints: 530

As you can see, a hugely successful week and a new gamerpoint record! Although if you knew the strife I went through to complete Prince of Persia, you'd be even more respectful of what's gone down this week.

Chapter 18: My Name is James...And i'm a Mario Kart Wii Addict

2009-03-18T11:55:00.008+00:00

- credit boooooooorbs

I think i've been building up to this post for weeks now. After all, there has been subtle little hints in posts here and there.

But it is time for the truth to come out.

I am a Mario Kart Wii addict.

That's right, an addict.

Now as you are all aware by now, I did once own a Wii for a couple of months back in 2007. But those were dark days when the Wii suffered from 'no library' syndrome, a horrible disease that affects new consoles that haven't got a back library to look upon with total glee.

So out that went and in came the XBox, life was good.

That was until last September. When I moved into a new house with a friend that owned a Wii. I thought it was all cool and not a problem until I discivered he had Mario Kart Wii.

Now I was a fan of Super Mario Kart on SNES back in the day. But other than the casual play here and there, I was by no means hooked.

So we started to casually play Mario Kart Wii in my house with my 3 housemates. What fun it was.

Here are some of my initial thoughts when playing this game at the beginning:

"This is a really fun multiplayer"

"If you shake the Wii remote, you get a boost. What a laugh"

"I keep losing, this is ridiculous. I'm never playing again"

"I won. Let's keep playing"

"What? You can play as Funky Kong?? That obscure Donkey Kong character who looks like he smokes some of the green stuff?"

So on it went. From frustration at not knowing how to play, to where i'm at today, an addict. Striving to constantly be the best. It doesn't help that I live in a house with some serious competitors and bad losers. It makes it all the more fun to win.

But things are so out of hand that Mario Kart Wii has now become a tool of gambling. We play Mario Kart for tea. 8 races, loser makes it. We've gambled the cleaning of the bathroom on a Mario Kart 32-racer (the true endurance test). Even on the washing up.

Losers had to clean toilets, buy Wispas, all kinds of crazy things.

The switching from Automatic to Manuel has become a talking point. Character/Kart combos are taken very seriously indeed.

(For the record, i'm either Funky Kong in the Dragonetti or the Peart Blooper, the ultimate combination of my Mii with the Turbo Blooper)

Here is photographic proof of my addiction:

- credit Daniel Burch

That's me on the left. Look at the determination to win.

The problem with an addiction is you don't know you're addcited till it's too late.

But now I can safely admit my problem. Although I won't stop playing Mario Kart Wii- It's too fun.

So heed my warning dear reader. Don't gamble beverages on a racing game. The antioxidants may be good for your health, but the addiction won't.

Chapter 17: A Personal Preview

2009-03-17T12:30:00.006+00:00

- credit chad davis

Let me tell you a tale right now dear reader.

I live in Stoke-on-Trent. (That's in England)

Stoke-on-Trent is effectively six towns mashed together under the banner of a 'city'. Stoke is also a bit like living in the 1970s as it hasn't caught up to the rest of the world yet. Also it rains...a lot. In fact, it never really stops raining. When it does stop raining, it snows instead.

After living here for 3 years i've encountered about 6 days worth of sunshine.

So i'm inevitably looking forward to the Summer. And whilst looking ahead, I decided to take a gander at some of the games i'm interested in coming out when the sun decides to shine.

It's refreshing right? I've neglected XBox posts for a while as I pine for an N64, (still am, anyone want to sell one?) so this is a nice change.

Anyway, one game i'm pretty hyped for now is Batman: Arkham Asylum.

One, it's a Batman game, my favourite superhero. Two, it's got the Joker in it. (and Mark Hamill doing the voiceover~!). Three, it actually looks pretty badass.

Here's the trailer:

Batman: Arkham Asylum comes out on XBox360 in the UK on 29th May.

Another game i'm excited for, along with the rest of the gaming world, is Ghostbusters: The Video Game.

The game features the voices and in-game likenesses of Harold Ramis, Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray and Ernie Hudson in an original story penned by the writers of the original films, Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis.

It also has an all-new storyline set two years after Ghostbusters II, where the player battles and captures well-loved and brand new ghosts throughout New
York.

It comes out 19th June in jolly old Blighty.

Trailer for that is here:

Also coming up this year is of course Call of duty: Modern Warfare 2. That comes closer to the end of the year, pencilled in for a November release right now. But we can still be excited right? There are really no details on this game yet other than it's a sequel to the last Call of Duty by Infinity Ward.

So there you go, my preview. I'm a poor man and two games will most certainly fill my summer up. Discuss, comment, enjoy.

Chapter 16: Lazy Sunday presents- Angry Video Game Nerd

2009-03-15T16:10:00.008+00:00

- credit ucumari

It's Sunday.

A day of rest.

A day of putting on your slippers, watching the Eastenders omnibus and relaxing.

So with your brain capacities most likely working at 40%, I won't bore you with the written word. Rather i'm going to post a classic Angry Video Game Nerd episode.

If you don't know who or what the Angry Video Game Nerd is then:

A) You haven't been looking at the Linkometer to your right

B) Wikipedia him fools!

Or you could just watch, enjoy, then do those things.

Either way enjoy!

Chapter 15: Retrospective Aladdin (Sega Mega Drive) Review

2009-03-14T15:15:00.004+00:00

-credit armadillo444

So as you could probably tell, there was no review on Thursday. This was because I didn't really have an XBox360 game to review, since i'm still working my way through Saints Row 2 and Prince of Persia.

So instead, for every week there isn't a Thursday XBox game review, there will be a retrospective game review on the Saturday. This will mostly consist of SNES and Sega Mega Drive games (These the only old school consoles currently in my residency).

So where better to start than with a game based on the best Disney film ever in the history of ever, Aladdin? (A lot of people will say Lion King is the best, a lot of girls will say Beauty and the Beast, but none of them have Robin Williams on improv mode)

The game on the Mega Drive was created by Virgin Interactive (Richard Branson?) All the games across the different consoles it was released on were different. But the Sega Mega Drive one is widely regarded as being the best.

For a start the gameplay is much better than the SNES version. In the SNES game, you can jump, climb and swing on posts and that is it. When it comes to enemies, you can either jump on them classic platform style or throw apples.

In the Mega Drive version, you get a sword! So instantly it's 10 times cooler (Although when did Aladdin wield a sword in the film?) You can still throw apples as well.

(Why you can throw apples in either game is beyond me. Is this because Aladdin has an apple twice in the film? And can do that cool trick where he flips it off his shoulder? Or when Jafar was eating one out of Jasmine's hands in that perverse scene towards the climax?)

Also rather than just jump, climb and swing, there are a number of ways to get across the levels like flying ropes, moving blocks etc.

Plot-wise, the game follows the plot of the film and also throws in a couple of random levels. (Remember when Aladdin just decided to take a stroll in the desert? Or when he went into Genie's lamp? No? Me either)

Graphically, the Mega Drive version looks a lot crisper than the other versions. Musically, it sounds better too. The 16-bit music in Aladdin is one of the best in any Mega Drive game in my opinion. Some levels have standard generic music but other levels feature 16-bit versions of 'Friend Like Me', 'Arabian Nights' and 'Prince Ali', which is awesome.

The game is relatively short which is a problem. We, by which I mean my housemate Scott, completed the game in around 80 minutes. Another small nitpick I have with the game is that the SNES level where you're on the magic carpet escaping the Cave of Wonders is a lot superior to the Mega Drive. The Snake Jafar boss fight is a lot cooler on SNES too. It is also seems very easy to gain extra lives, which could be good or bad however you look at it.

Overall though, this game is brilliant and if you own a Sega Mega Drive or plan on getting one, you want to get this game. Along with the Lion King game, it's arguably one of the best Disney games ever on any console. (Kingdom Hearts may be up there though)

Pick it up, play it and savour it. This is a game you will thoroughly enjoy playing. And unlike some games, you will want to pick it up and play it all over again in the future. Simply a classic.

Rating: 10/10

Gamerpoints achieved so far: N/A

Chapter 14: Achievements of the Week 6-13 March

2009-03-13T11:50:00.004+00:00

-credit tchuntfr

With a distinct lack of XBox action again this week (bar about 6 hours yesterday), the chances are slim that I will build upon last week's awesome-for-me Oscar worthy total of 270 gamerpoints.

The rundown of this week's achievements are below.

Also this weekend will be blog-tastic, as I shall retrospectively review Aladdin on the Sega Mega Drive, and add some more witty, insightful content.

Or worst comes to worst i'll post a funny video.

So stay F5'd (that's the refresh button).

11/03/09- Reality Star (Saints Row 2): Completed all levels of FUZZ (15G)

11/03/09- Going the Distance (Saints Row 2): Threw someone a long, long way (5G)

12/03/09- Soprano (Saints Row 2): Sung along to the radio (10G)

12/03/09- Love Thy Neighbour (Saints Row 2): Grabbed 50 human shields (5G)

Total Gamerpoints: 35

I know, I know, it doesn't look good. Not. One. Bit.

But there's always next week...right?

Gamerpoints review so far:

13-20 Feb: 160
20-27 Feb: 60
27-6 March: 270
6-13 March: 35

Chapter 13: Jonathan Ross reveals Fable 3?

2009-03-11T13:40:00.007+00:00

-credit Eay

Hey kids. Heard of that ultra-cool new social networking site Twitter?

You haven't?

It's well wicked. You write something in 140 characters and all the real celebs are doing it like Stephen Fry, Russell Brand, and even Jonathan Ross.

And if by chance you were on Twitter last night and you do happen to follow JR himself, you would have seen him 'tweet' (cool slang for type) the following message:

"Goodnight all. Must go to bed. Got asked to do voice in Fable 3 tonight. Subarashi. Oyasuminasia. Woss out."

Now this came after the game BAFTA's last night which Ross attended. Today he seemed to regret his tweet-burst by admitting he may have announced something he shouldn't.

So Fable 3 eh? It sounds interesting since Fable 2 came out less than 6 months ago. But is there even a need for Fable 3? I played through the game just after Christmas but found it largely disappointing. It was okay, but not great. Probably a 7.

Also, were Lionhead simply sending feelers out to Ross about future voice-work for a third game? Or are they already well into development for a return to Albion?

No word has come from Lionhead yet, but i'll keep you updated as best I can.

You can read more on this story here

Chapter 12: Is It Wrong to Look Back and Wish?

2009-03-09T13:54:00.006+00:00

-credit -Marlith-

Once again my deepest apologies for the lack of updates over the weekend. I was away in Norfolk for a friends surprise 21st birthday party. I had little internet action therefore HNTPX (abbrieviation...yeah) was left desolate. So sorry for that.

Now I love my XBox360 (not in a weird way). It's the console for me; a casual gamer who loves to play multiplayer and single games alike, who can't afford the behemoth that is PS3. It's awesome (I did have a Wii for about a month in 2007 but it hurt my wrists).

But ever since the Sega Mega Drive entered my house 2 weeks ago, i've been looking back and thinking of getting a new old console. Now I already own a SNES, a PS2 and an XBox360 in my gaming collection. But i've been twitching for either a Sega Dreamcast or a Nintendo 64.

Now i'm more inclined to go N64 as after my SNES, my gaming allegiance switched to Sony and then Microsoft. So I missed out on the delights of Mario Kart 64, Super Mario 64 and the Legend of Zelda games amongst others.

I can get one of these consoles relatively cheap on the old Ebay, but i've been thinking, is it wrong?

I mean we are supposed to be in this great era of gaming, with the Wii, XBox360 and PS3 all offering their different takes on gaming. But more than ever, people seem to be looking back and buying older generation consoles.

Is it a case of nostalgia? Wanting something you enjoyed so much when you were younger? Or is it deeper than that, and really gamers just enjoy the simplicity and fun of previous generation games like Sonic the Hedgehog and Super Mario Brothers?

Are Nintendo, Sony and Microsoft catering to what the modern gamer wants? Or just delivering what they think noughties gamers expect with technology now?

It's quite a deep argument for this blog, i'll grant you that. So lets take break, have a snack and come back at a later date. For now, I shall continue to ponder this conundrum along with the meaning of life (to complete Super Mario Brother 3 perhaps?).

For more reading on the seventh generation console wars, I send ze to Zero Punctuation from 2007. Laugh, enjoy, return, comment.

Chapter 11: Achievements of the Week 27th Feb-6th March

2009-03-06T12:12:00.010+00:00

-credit Paperghost

Another week has come and gone and it's time for my achievements run-down for the past seven days.

It was looking pretty bad, possibly even worse than last week, due to Mega Drive mania taking over in my house. But fortunately I pulled it together last night with a hardcore Saints Row 2 session with Dan.

Here's the run-down:

05/03/09- Brother's Keeper (Saints Row 2): Defeated the Brotherhood (40G)

05/03/09- Seperated at Birth (Saints Row 2): Completed all Brotherhood missions in co-op (25G)

05/03/09- A Brighter Future (Saints Row 2): Defeated the Ultor Corporation Epilogue (80G)

06/03/09- Vengeance (Saints Row 2): Exacted revenge on Julius (15G)

06/03/09- Partners in Crime (Saints Row 2): Completed all campaign missions in co-op (100G)

06/03/09- Hello 47 (Saints Row 2): Killed all Hitman targets (10G)

Total Gamerpoints: 270

A respectable score. Get in !

Chapter 10: Prince of Persia Review

2009-03-05T13:51:00.008+00:00

As you can see i've decided to drop Roman numerals in my blog titles. Mainly because I don't know 10 onwards. Also, it was a pain.

Anyway, after a week of Mega Drive shenanigans, it's back to XBox matters at hand.

This week's review is Prince of Persia. Now I never played the previous instalments in the series, even though according to Ben Croshaw, the Sands of Time trilogy were the best games on PS2.

I was given this by Dan to play and decided to give it a bash. Now bear in mind, 5 weeks later, Saints Row 2, SFIV and a Mega Drive have disrupted me playing this game properly so i'm about quarter of the way through. So my review is purely on what i've seen so far.

The game plot is something along the lines of evil prisoner is freed, covers the world in black goo and you (Prince of said Persia) and a magical assistant have to go around to each area defeating baddies and making the grass grow once more. Meh, the plot is weak and thin but is enough to get the gaming moving.

Personally, I feel this game is one of those you play when you want to relax, when you can't be bothered with anything too heavy. I think it's the parkour element. You cannot die because when you are about to plummet to certain doom, magic lady pulls you back. So it's casual and easy.

The parkour is good in the game, although sometimes I press the wrong button and the Prince decides to jump onto well...nothing. That's frustrating. Also, sometimes my brain can't work out the simplest of routes from A to B and so the Prince contiunously has to be bailed out of meeting Beezlebub. I can safely say I won't get that achievement for being saved less than 100 times.

The fighting aspect is easy too. Press X, Y and B during a battle and you'll thrust your sword forward, throw Elika at the baddie or throw him in the air and go Ryu on him temporarily. Nothing too it really. The baddies i've fought so far haven't been too challenging, but as I said i'm in the early stages.

Graphically the game is good for 360 and is colourful and vibrant. A problem I do have with the game is that the main character is a dick. He sounds American and speaks like an arrogant dick most of the time. It's annoying. Why you would ever want to play as someone like that is beyond me. Unless the game was Skins and you could play as Cook.

Another problem I have is that after about 20 mins of play I start to get bored. It's all good and well parkouring your way through the levels every now and then. But doing it every time you want to get somewhere gets monotonous. Maybe it's my lack of adventure but I couldn't play this game for hours straight.

Overall, Prince of Persia is a decent game. I think if you're not a fan of the series already, or a fan of parkour, then a rent is probably best. I've been told the game is around 8 hours complete so you could do it in a weekend. I'll continue to play it off and on but it'll never be a game that encaptures me for days on end.

Rating: 7/10

Gamerpoints achieved so far: 160/1000

Chapter VIIII: Sonic & Knuckles is Insanely Hard

2009-03-04T14:04:00.007+00:00

Its been a slow week so far on this blog. On Thursday, there will be the weekly review. This week's is Prince of Persia, so stay viewed for that.

Meanwhile, I'm still eternally struggling with the Mega Drive. Being a SNES kid, I find the pace of Sonic ridiculous, and the lack of Goombas disturbing.

Arrogantly, I've by-passed trying to solo complete Sonic 1 & 2 (I completed Sonic 2 in Mallorca on my cousin's Mega Drive when I was 14. Who needs sun and sea when your holiday home has a 90s game console?), and instead decided to give Sonic & Knuckles a bash.

While it is fun being Knuckles and gliding everywhere, the difficulty curve is all over the place. Act II, Flying Battery Zone is insanely hard. I cannot get past it. I tried with about 4 lives and 2 continues and just could'nt do it. Stupid game.

I've completed 3 Metal Gear Solid games but I can't get past Act 2 of Sonic and Knuckles?

Pah.

Feel free to comment below on a) how i'm terrible generally at games b) how Sonic and Knuckles is actually easy or c) why this blog is now talking about Mega Drive and not XBox and is totally defeating the object.

Normality will resume tomorrow. I promise.