How rubbish are Dan's sandwiches?

Thursday 21st October - Ladies Day Special

2010-10-21T12:10:00.001+01:00

Oh yes, it's ladies night and the feelings right, oh yes it ladies night, oh what a night...

Laydeeeez - just for for you - for one day only, we present for you (as a way of distracting you from the sandwich)

DAN from Dan's Sandwiches - yayyyyyyy

imagine the song 'Ladies Night' by Kool and the Gang and that will set the mood (we hope)

today's shocking attempt at Sandwich nirvana is...

BEEF with mustardy bits

from a conversation trunked into, this dimensionally-challenged, teabag sized attempt was made at 4.30am - so hats off for trying i suppose

DANWICH RATING: 3

click me if you want to listen to the original song...

Tuesday 20th October

2010-10-20T17:26:00.000+01:00

NORMAL SANDWICH SHOCKER

Tuesday 20th October is a landmark date in sandwich making history

for the first time in a month, we have a (semi) normal looking buttie

revel in its magnificence - just like Halley's Comet, it will never be seen again in our lifetime

our spies can reveal that today's super-duper filling is...

(wet looking) CHICKEN !!!

DANWICH RATING: 6 out of 10

Is this the shape of things to come? or will normal service be resumed tomorrow?

tune in Wednesday to find out. Or ask someone who may of seen the blog.

I dont care. i dont get paid for this shit...

Another week, another crap buttie

2010-10-19T15:32:00.000+01:00

A new Week, a fresh start in Sandwich World...

well, not quite...

we have struggled to work out why anyone would consider orange slop as a filling, let alone make the damn thing...

Lets ask Professor Stephen Hawking what he thinks...

"Stevo, what do you reckon this is?"

"Fucked if i know mate"

So there you go, if an egghead in a wheelchair doesn't know, what chance has Dan got?

On an unrelated note, Dan, havent you got big hands? Or are you eating lickle sandwichs?

DANWICH RATING: WTF!!!!

Incidentally, all pics of Dan's sandwiches are available for reprint should you wish to make a commemorative mug, mouse-mat or T-shirt, email Ross and he will give you the required jpeg...for a price.

One rubbish Sandwich and one GREAT Sandwich 14th October

2010-10-14T14:03:00.000+01:00

Treat for you

Sandwich fans...

today sees the first ever inclusion of TWO sandwich pics - one good and one bad

we have taken the liberty of pixelating the lady on the screen to respect her privacy but, in hindsight, maybe we should of pixelated the Prision Sandwich....

DANWICH RATING: 2 (funny shaped bread)

GUEST SANDWICH

this monster, on the other hand, is a magnificent specimin of sandwich making. Dan, please revel in the majesty that is a Middletons Sandwich

print this out, take it home and nail it to the fridge, whilst beating your chest and roaring

"I AM A MAN AND I WANT MAN SANDWICHES"

then apologise immediately as soon as Sharon reminds you that she is the man of the house and you will get what you is given and like it....

Hmmm these are getting worse again Sandwich 13/10/2010

2010-10-13T14:52:00.000+01:00

Today's thinly-sliced nonsense is this wonder of the Modern World...

Nobody in the HRADS office can work this one out

We rang NASA to ask if they had seen owt like it with their Hubble Telescope when they are looking around the Universe, but they asked if this was a practical joke and said "we know where you live, we can trace your number..." before hanging up on us.

Pay close attention to the cheeky green area marked by the red circle...

The best guess so far is Leek and Apple Pie sandwich....but what do we know???

Lets make this Global - send this blog to your friends and family abroad, maybe they have seen even thinner slices of ridiculous sandwiches too, or maybe they have a clue whats in the buttie...

Danwich Rating: NIL pwah - is it a buttie or dessert?

Friends of Danwiches - Rise and Unite...

Destroy the Prison Sandwich...

Sort of Rubbish Sandwich 12th October

2010-10-12T15:03:00.000+01:00

Today's wafer-thin pathetic attempt at a buttie is....

Ham and Yellow (again)

it could be mustard or it could be margarine
- who knows??? who cares???

what we do know however, is that the yellow substance is as thick as the ham, so whatever it is, we hope that its tasty, as there is probably a load of it in there somewhere.

Surely the spread / condiments to meat ratio should always be LESS than the tasty meat filling?

FYI: Margarine is NOT a filling. never has, never will be...unless you are in Prison, which is where these bad-boys should be...

Danwich Rating: 3 (pretty bread)

Not so Rubbish Sandwich 11 October

2010-10-11T13:50:00.000+01:00

It's only taken a week (or so) of hardcore blog-based abuse to finally get a Danwich on these pages

feast your eyes on this beee-yew-teee...

Cat food chunks and yellow sauce

this is the way forward SUBWAY fans - pinch your pets food and sandwich-ize it :)

there was a vicious rumour going around the HRADS office that its supposed to be meat paste and mustard but, like the magic eye pictures craze from the 90s, we cant see it...

Sandwich Rating: 5 - Nice bread

Point of Interest: it has also been pointed out to us that this buttie was in fact made by Dan's Mother-in-Law, not his wife, which is way it looks edible and contains calories, not fresh air.

PRISON SANDWICHES??? WE SAY "NO MORE"

Rubbish Sandwich 8th October

2010-10-08T13:31:00.000+01:00

NORMAL LOOKING SANDWICH SHOCKER!!!!

its only taken a week of web-based insulting to finally get a decent Danwich out of the Michelin rated kitchen of Shazza

can you guess what its supposed to be??? we have heard rumours that its a meat and condiment combo. as silly as it sounds, we are just happy to see non-moldy bread again (yes Mr Gregory, we are looking at YOU)

will this trend continue upwards and every day will be a tasty, nutritious, gormet sandwich banquet or will we revert to type on monday and get more Prison Sandwiches??? (smart money is on the latter...)

Extremely Rubbish Guest Sandwich 7th October by Ross Gregory*

2010-10-07T13:24:00.000+01:00

Today, we have reached a new low in sandwich-making history...only after much bargaining and negotiating with the people at the Internet are we able to bring you...

WTF is that?

is it a science experiment gone wrong???

Is that mold or salad???

or have we decided to cram in as many colours from a rainbow that we could lay our hands on???

the only positive we can take from this is that things can only get BETTER !!!! (good D:Ream reference - the Ed)

MASSIVE FAIL: -235 points today

I feel queasy just looking at it - If you start to hallucinate after viewing this prize specimen, seek medical help - IMMEDIATELY

the campaign for a decent Danwich® must continue - tell your friends and spread the world

* we had to have a guest sarnie today as Dan's bread was ill - honestly, this shit writes itself

Danwich® is a registered word and trademark and is wholly owned by the House of Doyle and any of its subsidiaries and must not be used by anyone. including you. yes you know who im talking about, shifty little f**ker...

Rubbish Sandwich 6th October

2010-10-06T13:27:00.000+01:00

Today's scientifically-calculated nutritional sandwich is.......

nope, we have no idea either.

should it really be called a sandwich?

nope, we have no idea either.

Yesterdays mystery filling was....

Horseradish paste with beef slices

(yeah we laughed at that too)

Nobody guessed it so lets a have a rollover....

lets not actually...

All in all, one point for artistic impression and having a bash at making a buttie. And for giving us a giggle too...

the campaign to get DK a decent sarnie continues......................

Rubbish Sandwich 5th October

2010-10-05T13:14:00.000+01:00

Todays rubbish sandwich is brought to you with the Letters D and K and the number 6 (stop the Sesame references before we get sued by Big Bird - the Editor)

Tuesdays bit of Nano-Sandwich Technology actually looks appetizing. or is it an optical illusion? we will never know...

COMPETITION TIME

If you can work out today's super-duper filling, send in a postcard to the usual address and you could win a Shazza sandwich of your choice....would you want to?

Rubbish Sandwich 4 October

2010-10-04T13:51:00.000+01:00

Dateline: 4th October
Filling: Coronation Chicken

Coronation Chicken. Surely the sandwich filling King of Kings. Sadly not. Not when its been completely flattened out by an industrial strength Corby trouser press to resemble Coronation Chicken RYVITA*!!!!

Judges Verdict: NIL points :(

Lets see what delights Tuesday's lunchbox holds....

* Ryvita is a wholly owned product of The Jordans and Ryvita® Company Limited. Registered office: The Weston Centre, 10 Grosvenor Street, London, W1K 4QY and is in no way, shape or form to be confused with Prison Sandwiches at all. Ever.

Rubbish sandwich Thursday 30th

2010-10-01T14:03:00.000+01:00

Check out this cheeky little number...

honestly, wouldnt you be ashamed to of created this pathetic excuse for a sarnie?

RUBBISH - try harder....

Dan's sandwiches are rubbish. FACT!!!

2010-10-01T13:44:00.000+01:00

Just as night follows day, somethings are set in stone and this is good.

however...

somethings defy Natural Order, somethings throw the balance of life right out of the window...

one of these things is Dan's Sandwiches !!!!

never, ever, in recorded human history, has a rubbish sandwich been made that looks so awful, science people couldn't make them this thin if they tried (and we hope that they have) - so, our mission, is to publish a new picture everyday in order to force Dan's wife to stop making rubbish sandwiches and give him a proper, nutritious buttie, like what every man should have in his lunchbox...

feel free to leave comments (the more tasteless, the better) whenever we publish a new picture of a Dan Sandwich

thank you