Comprehensive Sex Education - The Sex How To!

Your Erotic Networth

2010-04-30T19:34:00.000-07:00

Erotic capital, as described by sociologist Catherine Hakim of the London School of Economics in her 2010 paper on the subject, consists of a collection of attributes including physical fitness, good grooming, superior social skills, and sex appeal. When taken together, these qualities form a powerful personal asset. Of course, the more of each element of erotic capital you possess, the higher your overall erotic net worth. To date, however, this concept has largely been written about in relation to women, though men are equal proprietors of erotic capital.

We all know men with a high erotic net worth: George Clooney, Justin Timberlake, Anderson Cooper, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, and Jay-Z come to mind. Peter Griffin does not. What makes erotic capital a big deal is that the greater your erotic net worth, the more financial success you'll have and the more social and dating advantages will come your way. To figure out what your erotic net worth is and how you can increase it to your advantage, read on.

Sex appeal

You don't have to look like a movie star to have sex appeal. What you do need is the right body language, a healthy dose of confidence, a talent for flirting, and an amazing cologne. Whereas closed body language, typified by crossing your arms across your chest, keeping your hands in your pockets and slouching, gives off the impression that you are a defensive person; open body language shows that you're comfortable with yourself.

For men, facing others head-on with your spine erect, your head held high and your feet about a foot apart conveys a dominant, self-assured, in-control attitude, which is a huge turn-on for women. And because women are programmed to pay attention to smell when selecting a mate, you should also choose your fragrance wisely, doing your best to track down the juice that complements your natural body odor. Use humor to flirt and learn to read female body language -- if she looks at you, then looks away, then looks at you again, she's interested.

Social skills

Even if right now you feel extremely nervous in interpersonal interactions, it's possible to turn your social anxiety around and become the guy in the room that everyone gravitates toward. Men with a high erotic net worth are charming, persuasive, playful, witty, polite, and good conversationalists. To become adept at socializing, read voraciously and stay on top of current events as well as what's hot in film, television, business, and technology. If you’re crunched for time, seek out good all-purpose websites like the New York Times. At the same time, recognize that being the most interesting man at the party doesn't always involve dominating the conversation.

Making others feel at ease is often as simple as projecting a sense of calm and asking open-ended questions (those that don't involve simply a “yes” or “no” answer) to encourage others to talk. In fact, because most people love to talk about themselves, showing an interest in others and listening attentively with steady eye-contact will trick them into finding you fascinating even if you reveal relatively little about yourself. Also, don't take yourself too seriously, as the capacity to laugh at yourself and take life's mishaps in stride shows self-confidence, which is infinitely more appealing than being uptight.

Physical fitness

Having a high erotic net worth is practically synonymous with being in shape. A sexy body indicates virility and vigor, which in women's minds translates into stamina and dynamite sack sessions. What you're aiming for is a V-shaped physique, which you can achieve through a combination of weight lifting and cardio.

If you're presently overweight and finding it difficult to motivate yourself to hit the gym, consider that obese people earn 10% to 15% less than average-size people. The right clothes will also go a long way toward creating the illusion of a perfect body, so favor V-neck tops over crewnecks and single-breasted blazers over double-breasted toppers. Studies also suggest that taller men earn more, so give yourself a height advantage with shoes that have a half-inch heel.

Self-presentation

The way you dress and style your hair all have a major impact on the first impression you create. Sure, over time, many people might be able to get past greasy hair and tattered jeans to see the real you, but being negligent about your grooming routine and your wardrobe will cost you -- on the job in terms of salary (better-looking people earn more) and in the dating realm. To dress your best, know where to splurge and when to save. Develop a signature style by determining what colors and cuts are most flattering on you.

One thing incredibly stylish men have in common is the ability to wear trends without looking like fashion victims. Their secret is limiting themselves to one or two trend-driven pieces per outfit and ensuring that the rest of what they're wearing is classic. When it comes to your hair, get it trimmed every four weeks, use the right kind of shampoo and conditioner for your hair type and avoid working too much product, like gel, into your mane. Be diligent about keeping your facial hair in check and whiten your teeth every six months.

Lastly, pay attention to your hands. No, you don't need to get a manicure, but to women, having rough dinosaur skin running over our bodies is akin to getting sandblasted, so slather on some hand lotion every now and again.

Sexual competence

While possessing the previously mentioned elements of erotic capital will certainly increase your chances of finding yourself between the sheets with a potential mate, poor performance in this department will send your erotic stock plummeting. Fortunately, sexual skills are learned rather than innate, so, start reading books and articles on the topic to improve your bedroom know-how. Focus on finding ways to increase your sexual stamina, such as tantric practices and Kegel exercises.

Equally important in enhancing your sexual competence is figuring out the fine points involved in giving great oral sex and committing to the time involved -- it takes most women around 20 minutes to achieve orgasm on average and a mind-blowing finish will immediately secure you a top spot on her list of lovers. Bonus points for asking about her fantasies and then making them come true.

Finally, devote energy to enhancing your erotic imagination by relentlessly searching for creative ways to switch things up and keep your sex life spicy. Also, even if she doesn't seem like a girly girl, all women go gaga for a little romance, so don't be shy in this area either.

maximize your erotic net worth

By now the value of erotic capital should be clear. You hopefully also have an idea of where you might be falling short and have learned concrete ways in which you can send your erotic net worth soaring. Of these five attributes, some will require more determination than others to develop, but as studies show, you'll be mightily rewarded for your efforts.

Resources:

http://esr.oxfordjournals.org

Casual Sex - F*ck Friend

2010-04-06T09:14:00.000-07:00

Give her advance notice on booty calls

You shouldn’t assume she’s available 24 hours a day whenever you want to get laid. Calling her at 2 a.m. as you stumble out of the bar is not the best idea. F*ck friend etiquette will tell you that she’s not a last resort at last call. Even the most sexually charged of women will probably tell you to take a hike if you’ve woken her out of a deep sleep. Give the girl a little advance notice. Perhaps you could give her a call before you head out for the night to see if she’s willing and able later on. Plus, if you’re messy drunk at every booty call, she may soon stop answering your calls. Plan ahead and show up at her door at a reasonable hour before you get a case of whisky dick.

It might seem like scheduling a sexual rendezvous will take the thrill out of the whole thing, but you can make the anticipation work for you. If you follow f*ck friend etiquette and arrange a tryst for later in the night, you can amuse yourself all evening with fantasies of what it will be like once you finally get together.

Build up to and wind down from booty calls

Although it has been established that the arrangement between you and your friend with benefits is purely sexual and not romantic or even all that friendly, you should still give the girl a little consideration. Believe it or not, there is still a thing called f*ck friend etiquette. As such, you don’t have to immediately pull her into the bedroom every time you get together. Offer her a glass of wine and let her get comfy first. Also, engage in a little chitchat to help make the situation a little less tense.

Afterward, let her take her time putting herself back together; she may want to shower or fix her hair and makeup. Our f*ck friend etiquette guide states that you shouldn’t pressure her to get out if you’re at your place, and that you don’t run for cover as soon as the condom comes off if you’re at hers.

Come prepared

The modern man knows he should always come prepared with the proper protection whenever there’s a possibility of getting busy. Make sure you know beforehand if she’s on the pill and if you’re expected to bring the condoms. She may be a regular sex partner, but you’re not in a monogamous relationship, so protection is paramount.

Also, for a truly pleasurable experience for both parties, cleanliness is essential. Washing up, especially in the areas you want her to pay the most attention to, is an important step before your booty call.

Don't pull porn moves on her

You may feel tempted to try out some of the more extreme porn moves you see in skin flicks since she’s not your girlfriend and you have nothing but a sexual connection with her. However, just because she’s your f*ck friend doesn’t mean that she enjoys facials or ass to mouth. Get the OK from her before you try any porn moves on her that might gross her out or offend her. She may be more open to these acts than the average girl, but you shouldn’t spring these things on her without getting an idea of what she thinks about them.

Be Discreet

If you happen to run into her on the street, be a gentleman and don’t make your connection to her obvious to everyone around you. Keep your hands to yourself in front of her friends and yours. This means no grabbing her ass in public and keeping the kisses to the on-the-cheek variety. Don’t embarrass the girl with innuendo or blatant sex talk. If she wants your encounters to be your little secret, keep it to yourself or you’ll find that you have no one to call next time you need a release.

F’ing Bff

In the end, f*ck friend etiquette asks that you treat your partner with respect. Remember that she doesn’t owe you any favors and you don’t owe her any, but if you misstep, you may find yourself doing the five-finger shuffle the next time you’re in need.

Sexual Body Move!

2010-04-01T03:05:00.000-07:00

Wondering how your girl is feeling during sex?

Is she enjoying herself? Are you doing it right? Is she satisfied?

Women can be hard to read, especially when it comes to sex. Though, all in all, if she is getting off you are bound to know about it on some level. Check the signs.

She can't fake away with her natural responses of body languages. But remember that every women are different.

Rapid breathing

Our breath when resting is a very peaceful and tranquil movement of air in and out of our lungs. It has the delightful title of "inspiration" for breathing in, and "expiration" for breathing out. When a woman is turned on, however, this breath comes in urgent puffs and probably has some involuntary moans escape with it as the air is forced quickly past her vocal cords.

The increase in heart rate when her body prepares for orgasm means her internal organs and muscles are demanding more oxygen. If you can hear her breath change, you’re on the right track. If you can feel her heart thumping, you’re well on your way. This is her sexual body language giving you signals that she's aroused. However, if she's breathing normally after having her "big orgasm," perhaps she’s a big faker.

General writhing around and body movement

If your girl is curling her toes and writhing against you, chances are she's probably enjoying herself. Grinding and pushing against you means that she's really getting into it. If she's lying there limp, then things probably aren’t happening for her. Try changing positions, or stop entering her and warm her up from the beginning with your mouth or hands and see how her sexual body language progresses from there.

Thrusting hips

When she meets your thrusts, you’re doing something right. It's pretty safe to say that if she's matching your body movements and is in time with you, then she's getting something out of it. Good sex is often very synchronized, as that is how our bodies are designed to produce orgasm; repeated movements in the right spot build to a climaxing. The trouble is finding the right spot, of which there are many. If she isn’t meeting your thrusts then her sexual body language is telling you that she wants something else, so change positions and see how she responds.

Arms splayed out

If she's holding herself close she may not be feeling wild abandon -- her arms may be around you, her hands may be on your chest, above your head, wherever, except they're being held in close to her own body. If she's on top she may need her arms to maneuver herself and give herself some leverage to get the best angle. This is certainly not a definitive gesture, but can be useful. Her body should be responding to the situation at hand. She shouldn't be worried about covering herself up or where her arms are. If her arms are stretched wide, either held out to the side or splayed out on the bed sheets, you can bet her sexual body language is telling you you're right where you need to be and she's comfortable (and enjoying the ride).

Vaginal muscle movement

You have one of your most sensitive parts inside one of her most sensitive parts -- with each movement inside of her you can feel the walls of her vagina, the muscles and flesh. The vaginal wall is an incredibly strong muscle and she will probably use this to some extent for her own pleasure during sex. You may also feel the contracting and relaxing during orgasm -- her vagina spasms and this will clench you to some degree -- but not always, so don’t use that as a benchmark.

Some women do have great control, and those who do are likely to have better sex and orgasms in general. If you don’t feel any clenching, don’t panic. You may know already by the feel of her vagina when she's not far away from orgasm -- she may let you enter further, or the overall sensation may be "just right" for you both. Only you can tell, so pay careful attention to her sexual body language and what’s going on inside of her.

Learn the language of lovin'

Women love sex as much as men do, but what's sometimes missing is the self-knowledge, and of course a skilled partner who brings out the erotic best in himself and her. If you're unsure as to whether your lover is enjoying herself during sex, there is a need for more investigation. Communicate verbally and non-verbally; ask her what she wants you to do, carefully watch and listen to her responses to what you’re doing and don’t assume that what worked for your other girlfriends is going to work for her.

Every woman (and man) has different tastes and won’t necessarily respond to the same touches, so try a few different things and don’t stick to a routine. Experiment, tease, tantalize, change positions. When you hear her moan, you’ll know you've hit just the right spot, so don't stop there.

Daddy Issues?

2010-03-26T02:02:00.000-07:00

You’ve heard of the Oedipus complex, right? According to Freud, it is the theory that every man secretly wants to kill his dad and have sex with his mom. (We know. That’s totally creepy behavior.) But perhaps you haven’t heard of the Electra complex. It’s a psychological term developed by Freud’s colleague Carl Jung. For Jung, the Electra complex denotes a woman’s sexual attachment to her father and a corresponding competitive hostility toward her mother. It’s from Jung’s Electra complex that we’ve derived the modern concept of “daddy issues.”

These days, people say a woman has daddy issues when she appears to be seeking attention from men in order to compensate for the attention she may not have received from her father. When we talk about her daddy issues, we’re generally talking about things like aggressive flirtation, promiscuity, a tendency toward exhibitionism, and certain emotional hang-ups.

Whether her daddy issues are actually the result of her relationship with her father or whether “daddy issues” is just the label society has chosen to attach to this kind of behavior, it is a set of characteristics you might encounter in a woman. Consequently, you need to know how to recognize her daddy issues and how to handle them.

SEXUAL AGGRESSIVENESS

Most guys delight at the idea of a sexually aggressive woman. But if a woman is grinding up against you on a dance floor, initiating public groping and dragging you into her bedroom on the first date, it might be a sign of her daddy issues. If you’re up for a one-night stand, there’s probably nothing you need to do except enjoy the ride. But if you’re interested in a relationship with this girl, your strategy should be to take things slow. If her sexy signals are overly aggressive, tell her you want to slow down and get to know her before doing the deed. Make plans for a future date instead of stripping each other’s clothes off. Show her you’re interested in more than just sex and she won’t feel quite as desperate to impress you with her sexual prowess.

EXCESSIVE FLIRTING

It’s a stereotype that girls with daddy issues flirt a lot. And maybe it was even her flirting that got your attention in the first place. Once she’s your girlfriend, though, flirting with strange men is not going to fly.

It’s important to recognize that not all women flirt because they’re interested in the guy they’re talking to. Your girlfriend may be flirting because she craves attention and enjoys the rush of developing sexual tension with a stranger. The best way to deal with this manifestation of her daddy issues is to confront her about it. Tell her you’re not OK with it. The extra attention from you will likely offset the attention she’s been seeking from random guys.

CLINGINESS

We typically apply the “daddy issues” label to women who seem to crave male attention -- and ploys for male attention can take many forms, includingclinginess. Every woman wants care and assurance from her partner and, of course, girlfriends want to spend quality time with their boyfriends. But a girl with daddy issues wants those things in excess. She may throw a fit whenever you make plans without her. She might beg and bargain whenever you try to leave her apartment. It’s important to keep her daddy issues in check by establishing strict boundaries. Stick to your guns and maintain a separate social life. If you give in to a bout of clinginess once, you’re sunk forever.

COMPARE AND CONTRAST

As we said at the outset, according to Jung, her daddy issues are all connected to her relationship with her father. Whether you buy Jung’s theory or not, we think it’s fair to say that a woman’s relationship with her father affects her romantic relationships. If her dad failed to show her love and affection, she might grow up expecting the worst from men. If you find her blowing up over minor screw-ups, it might be because your mistake reminds her of her father’s poor parenting.

The key in these situations is to make your partner aware of these unfair comparisons. You are not her father, for better or worse. You can only be yourself; show her the reliable, attentive and caring guy you are, and eventually she’ll stop blaming you for someone else’s mistakes.

IF ONLY WOMEN WERE SO SIMPLE

We recognize that diagnosing a woman with “daddy issues” is necessarily an oversimplification, but the fact is that “daddy issues” have become cultural shorthand for a set of behaviors exhibited by some women. If you’re a guy, whether or not you consider these behaviors to be “daddy issues,” you still need to be aware of what they look like and how to deal with them.

Curing Performance Anxiety

2010-03-26T01:48:00.000-07:00

You've met the girl of your dreams and you're sure that this is it; she's the girl you want to give everything to. You want to make love to her because that's the ultimate way of showing her how you feel.

Unfortunately, there's a slight problem; you're nervous and extremely anxious about that first encounter. You fear the worst and even expect it. So, what do you do? Follow the simple instructions below to calm your nerves and cure your performance anxiety so you can properly seduce your one and only.

DUDE, RELAX FOR A SECOND

To start off, just relax. We usually make the first time with someone new seem more intimidating than it should be. That being said, there's often more to it than pure intimidation. Here are a few things that may be running through your mind and how you might want to deal with them.

Penis doesn't measure up

The average penis length is 6.5 inches when erect and unfortunately, you fall below the average. You're nervous about letting her see and feel it for the first time because you think that size is the be all and end all for women.

What to do: Some women believe that it's not the size of the wand, but rather the magic you can make with it. That may be true in a sense, considering that if you know how to please a woman in other ways, actual penetration need only be the finale.

Take your time with foreplay and show her what an expert you are with your hands and tongue (working under the guise that you've both tested negative for STDs or are using adequate protection). Touch parts of her body that are usually neglected during sex, and when you do finally head in be confident about your appendage. Even if your penis size is smaller than average, you can still get the job done and do it well. Don't let the size of your manhood determine your measure as a man.

You might not be able to keep it up

More often than not, we tend to overthink sex so much that we end up giving our brains all the blood flow, hindering our penises from having any of it. When it comes to sex, pleasure is all you should think about. Leave all your issues, problems and judgments elsewhere; now's the time to enjoy yourself.

What to do: Just as women need to get in a sexual mindset to self-lubricate, you also need to adjust your mentality to prepare for the fun. Close your eyes and really try to let your other senses take over when you're with your girl.

Also, talk to her about what turns you on and find out what turns her on. Take your time; move your bodies together slowly. When you're finally ready to get the show started, keep your mind focused on her, not yourself.

And if the consequences of your actions are bothering you, as long as you're using a condom you can let go of fears about STDs and pregnancy. And opening the condom isn't that difficult, just relax and rip.

You might ejaculate too quickly

When it comes to straight sex, most guys last two to three minutes. Nevertheless, fears of ejaculating too quickly have plagued us all at some point. That's a normal concern considering that once we do ejaculate, our penises usually become flaccid and unusable.

What to do: Your best bet is to avoid constant stimulation of your penis. Alternate from vaginal sex to oral sex (giving or receiving). Or, you can switch positions every so often so that your penis is stimulated from different angles.

Of course, there's always the "stop and go" method, wherein you penetrate her and when you feel your "end" approaching, you stop until the sensation subsides and then pick up where you left off.

If she doesn't orgasm, you will fail

There's a lot of pressure put on guys to make women orgasm nowadays. And don't even get us started on this "multiple orgasm" pressure. Nevertheless, making a woman orgasm is partly her own responsibility, especially considering that it stems from her brain.

What to do: If she has never had an orgasm in her life, then you probably shouldn't put this kind of pressure on yourself. If you'd like to try anyway, your best bet would be to seduce her mind first. Talk to her about fantasies, set the scene with the appropriate sensual necessities (lighting, scents, flavors) and when you touch her, do so in a slow, calculated fashion.

Starting off slow and progressing into a quicker pace is optimal for most women. Don't be afraid to use your fingers, lips and tongue to do your dirty work. And remember; the clitoris is your greatest ally.

YOU CAN DO IT

Sex is a great activity, so long as you don't kill it with visions of failure. You are the man and it's up to you to remain confident in all that you do. Sex is no exception to this rule.

If you believe you can do it, then you can.

Until next time, keep it up and show her who's boss.

Anal Anal and Anal!

2010-03-24T02:52:00.000-07:00

1- Don't insist on penetration

Although it's hard to believe, you don't need to stick your fingers or penis inside the rectum for the pleasurable sensations associated with anal sex. And although it might be a bitter pill for some guys to swallow, but when you're receiving anal sex, you don't need to have anything put inside you either.

By simply rubbing the anus or even licking it, known as rimming, the receiving person can derive awesome sensations.

2- Make it feel good all the time

Although many women have told us that their first anal sex experience (and sometimes their second and third) hurt like a bitch, but ladies, it doesn't have to. We're serious.

Now, if she isn't calm and relaxed, it's going to hurt. If you insist on shoving your penis inside her (like ripping off a bandage -- one shot), it's going to hurt. If you don't use lubrication, it's going to hurt.

You need to talk about it and both of you need to agree to do it happily; no one should be coerced into it. You also need to be patient and let her lead the way. If you are going to engage in anal sex, let her hold your penis and guide it in slowly. Go in about an inch, then pull out completely, then go in about an inch farther and pull out completely. Keep going in and out at one-inch intervals and pretty soon you'll be in.

3- Understand that there are 2 sphincters

Assphincter says: "what?" There are two sphincter muscles in the anus (if you place your finger inside about inch deep and press against the side, you'll feel them), and they are less than an inch apart.

While you can control the external sphincter at will, the internal sphincter is not the same. It reacts more in a reflexive way. So while your partner may assure you that she's relaxed and willing, her internal sphincter may prove otherwise.

The point is that you need to be patient and give your partner time to learn how to relax and try different positions to make it happen.

4- Stimulate the anal region while doing other things

The sensation of touching the anus or rectum alone may feel uncomfortable for your girl or even yourself, but couple it with penetration or oral sex, and suddenly it'll feel so much better.

For example, while you're engaging in vaginal sex, you can insert a sex toy into your girl's anus to give her the sensation of DP, or double penetration. And she can insert a toy into yours while you're penetrating her or she's performing oral sex on you. It's up to you to decide what you're comfortable with.

5- Change your diet

If you or she don't eat fiber, raw vegetables and fruit, opting for a lot of processed foods instead, then you won't be contributing to a desirable anal sex experience.

Regular bowel movements are conducive to both comfort and confidence when it comes to anal sex. Adult film stars about to engage in anal sex always undergo enemas beforehand to ensure no "slip-ups."

So make sure that your diet is a healthy one and, although fiber is recommended, try to avoid eating it a few hours before you're set to engage in anal sex.

6- Obey the rules of hygiene

There's a reason why women have to wipe from front to back when they do No. 2; trace amounts of feces may cause infection. The same rules apply to anal sex.

If you put your penis or fingers in or around her anus, you cannot simply revert to her vagina afterward. There are ways to resolve this issue, however.

You can always discard the "anal sex" condom and put on a new one for vaginal entry.

As for your fingers, you can always keep baby wipes close by and wipe your hands before you use them on her vagina.

Remember; you can go from the vagina to the anus, but not the other way around. Hopefully you know your female anatomy.

BACK DOOR, MAN

Ensure anal sex is fun by making certain that you and your girl are comfortable. If she gets squeamish when you suggest it, find out why. Don't be afraid to communicate about sex and what you like; it'll bring you closer together and enhance your sex life.

Keep in mind that anal sex can be very dangerous and spread STDs, so unless you're in a monogamous relationship and you've both been tested for diseases, we strongly urge you to use condoms and latex barriers in anal sex and any other variety of sex.

Until next time, keep your eye on the back end.

Orgasm Myths

2010-03-10T02:35:00.000-08:00

We’ve come a long way since the days when science doubted the existence of the female orgasm. Today, a woman’s sexual satisfaction is a major field of study and the average couple has spent a great deal of time trying to improve her experience. This is certainly appreciated, but some of you may be trying too hard; her level of satisfaction may already be everything she could hope for. That’s right: You may be striving toward a goal that has been based entirely on myth. This misinformation circulates with surprising frequency and you may be shocked (if not relieved) to learn how wrong some of them are. Read on as we discuss, and set right, the biggest female orgasm myths around.

All women want a G-spot orgasm

Put in the simplest terms possible: This is a load of crap. While it’s true that many women lust for G-spot orgasms, it’s a complete orgasm myth that all women desire such a thing. For many women, having the G-spot stimulated -- even "correctly" -- results in a sensation that can only be described as extremely uncomfortable. It can make a woman feel like she needs to urinate immediately, and that’s never fun. It can also cause her to feel pain, and not in a sexy S&M kind of way, either. In fact, the whole stimulating the G-spot thing can annoy some women to the point where it completely turns them off for the rest of the evening. Yes, some women love having their G-spot stimulated -- but many don’t.

Women need a skilled partner to orgasm

Many men pride themselves on their ability to make a woman orgasm (and your skills are definitely appreciated), but the ultimate responsibility for a woman’s orgasm belongs to her. It’s perfectly normal for a woman to have difficulty achieving a vaginal orgasm -- that’s why God invented the clitoris. Meaning: She can still achieve a fabulous orgasm even if her lover is a virgin with limited experience and know-how. A man’s efforts are certainly helpful, but if she’s not achieving orgasm she has no one to blame but herself. Additionally, many women suffer from performance anxiety just as men do. If a woman falls into this category, even the most skillful of men wouldn’t be able to make her orgasm, regardless of his efforts.

Women need to orgasm to enjoy themselves

This orgasm myth couldn’t be further from the truth. Sex feels good whether you have an orgasm or not, and when combined with the right level of intimacy, the experience can be immensely satisfying regardless of whether or not she climaxes. Many women even prefer foreplay to actual sex and orgasm. Why? Because, for some women kissing, hugging and caressing are more satisfying than anything you see in porn flicks. If you combine these acts of affection with slow and steady penetration, most women will be perfectly content at the end of your love session.

We look at even more orgasm myths...

Vaginal orgasms are better than clitoral orgasms

This orgasm myth is a bit like comparing apples and oranges. OK, not exactly, but you get the idea. The basic point is this: Both are perfectly lovely and they can be equally satisfying. The only reason vaginal orgasms are regarded as the Holy Grail of ecstasy is how infrequently they occur. Statistically speaking, it’s estimated that 30% of women will never even experience one and only 30% do so with regularity. That means you have a very good chance of dating or marrying a woman who will never achieve a vaginal orgasm. Unfair as that may sound, clitoral orgasms are not to be taken lightly; they can be absolutely earth-shattering under the right circumstances, and some women prefer them. Clitoral orgasms are wonderful and there is no reason to pity a woman who hasn’t experienced an orgasm through vaginal stimulation.

Women can’t ejaculate

Anyone who still believes this orgasm myth has clearly never seen a good porn film. Women can definitely ejaculate, and some can do so more forcefully (and with more volume) than men. It’s a relatively new acknowledgment in the scientific community, so the research still leaves something to be desired, but there’s plenty of evidence to support the claim. We know that women ejaculate through the urethra, just like men. Female ejaculate contains the same substances male ejaculate contains, and it’s produced in the "female prostate" -- an organ which is extremely similar to the male prostate, albeit smaller. Women seem to ejaculate primarily through direct stimulation of the G-spot (some scientists believe this is actually the urethral sponge), but not all women can or will experience ejaculation. So, if she doesn't have a gushing end, don't think she didn't enjoy herself, just try again another time.

ORGASMIC MYTHOLOGY

So there you have it: Five female orgasm myths totally debunked. While it’s admirable to concern yourself with your woman’s pleasure and level of satisfaction, you’re not solely responsible for her orgasm. If she doesn’t have one, she could still be having the time of her life. If, however, you really have your heart set on making her holler, we recommend asking her to masturbate for you, which will provide plenty of insight (and quite a show) into how she prefers to reach orgasm.

Sex Position with a Twist!

2010-03-10T02:31:00.000-08:00

Traditional sex positions tend to get a bad rap these days, and understandably so; they have a tendency to get old rather quickly. You may be surprised, however, to learn that these classic sex positions can be turned into something hot and altogether fantastic with just a few minor adjustments. Our sex positions with a twist are easy to do, and they don’t require the skill of an acrobat. And, perhaps most importantly, our sex positions with a twist deliver -- for both you and your woman. Try one of the following sex positions with a twist and you’ll see what we mean.

Cowgirl Lap Dance

The original cowgirl position is fabulous all on its own, but when you add a chair to the mix, it becomes one of our hottest sex positions with twist. Grab a kitchen chair and sit yourself down. Pull your woman close, and help her slide onto your lap. With her feet touching the floor, she’ll be able to rotate her hips and tease your erection with her clitoris, making this a very sexy precursor to intercourse. You’ll also have a birds’-eye view of her breasts. When she’s ready for intercourse, this position will give her better control than the traditional cowgirl position does, which means the ride is going to be twice as wild and twice as good.

Doggy Leg Lift

If you’re looking to add a little extra something to doggie style, this sex position with a twist will definitely make your woman holler. Bend her over on the bed, spread her legs and lift one of her thighs. This will allow for the deepest penetration possible; simply twist your body toward hers and drape her thigh across your hip while you thrust. Your free hand can either slip into her hair for that gentle tug so many women crave, or you can use it to stimulate her clitoris. Either way, she’ll be hollering for more.

Missionary With Pillows

The good old-fashioned missionary position can lead to mind-blowing sex with the simple addition of a pillow. This sex position with a twist is incredibly easy and virtually guarantees orgasm; possibly even for both of you at the same time. Lay your woman down on her back and slide a pillow under her backside. Spread her thighs apart and place her feet flat against the mattress. Penetration from this angle will be deeper than ever before, and the unavoidable clitoral stimulation will make her orgasm deliciously intense.

Spoon Split

This sex position with a twist is a big favorite with many women because it feels highly intimate and very naughty at the same time. From the traditional spooning position, take her top leg and drape it across your own. This will force her thighs into a fairly widespread position, which can make even the shyest of women feel like a sexual nymph. You’ll be able to thrust deeply, while having very easy access to her clitoris. Don’t be surprised to see her thrashing about like a madwomen; sex in this position will make her feel extremely saucy.

These sex positions with a twist will have her swooning…

Reverse Cowgirl Squat

This is one sex position with a twist that often leads to wild and rambunctious sex. Get on your knees while facing the bed’s headboard, and rest your bum on your heels. Have your woman squat over your lap while grasping the headboard; she’s going to use it for leverage as she lowers herself onto your erection. Grip the curve of her waist as she rides you -- this will help to balance her during sex. Gentle hair tugging and mild spankings are also generally appreciated, and easily accomplished, in this position.

Standing Rhythm

Most men have fantasized about bending a woman over the sofa and having their wicked way with her. Believe it or not, most women have fantasized about their man doing the same thing. This sex position with a twist makes the most of that fantasy and then some. Bend your woman over the sofa (the kitchen table works quite well too) spread her legs apart. Deep thrusting is very easy from this position, and you’ll especially rock her world if you rotate your hips during penetration. Add a little spanking into the mix and you’ll have a very content woman on your hands when it’s over.

69 + 1

Oral sex in the 69 position is something most people enjoy -- but there’s so much more fun to be had when you add fingers and toys into the mix. Instead of laying in the traditional position, lay side to side, as this will make it easier to manipulate the toys. Start this sex position with a twist the old-fashioned way; tongue her clitoris until she’s wet and begging for penetration. Once she’s ready, maintain the oral stimulation while slipping a finger inside of her. Or, if you really want to drive her mad with lust, replace your fingers with a small vibrator; multiple orgasms are just around the corner.

UPGRADE YOUR POSITIONS

There’s nothing wrong with traditional sex positions; an orgasm is an orgasmregardless of how one achieves it. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t try something new now and then; a little extra spice can go a very long way in the bedroom. These sex positions with a twist are saucy enough to bring out the minx in your woman, but aren’t so extreme that she has to leave her comfort zone to enjoy herself -- which means you’ll be free to enjoy yourself as well.

Oral Sex Positions - The good & the bad

2010-01-07T07:26:00.000-08:00

Ooze sexual confidence, more orgasms, more sex!

We know you’ve been waiting for yet another installment of the pros and cons ofdifferent sex positions. For those of you who have missed out on some of the other articles in this series, here’s what you have been missing.

The first article delved into the pros and cons of the
69 position; the second article gave tips on the advantages and disadvantages of the female superior position.

The third article reviewed the missionary position; the fourth article provided readers with what’s good and bad about the doggie style position, and the fifth article, you learned about the pros and cons of the spooning position.

In this article, you will learn a lot about oral sex positions, including the pros and cons of different oral positions. People tend to forget how creative they can be while engaging in oral sex and that’s why we are here to help you learn more about how to make oral sex more exciting for both of you.

Pros And Cons Of The 69

Because the 69 position was covered in a previous article in this series, this will be short. The best part about the 69 position is that you and your partner are pleasuring each other simultaneously which is great any time, and it makes this position unique among oral sex positions.As for cons, the position can be a

bit akward because of the angle you have to set yourself in, especially if there is a height differential between the two partners.

Pros And Cons Of The Standing Blow Job Position

Okay, it might not be technically called the “standing blow job position” but you get the idea – the man is standing and the woman is either sitting or kneeling on her knees.

This position is great for her to have easy access to the entire package and she will feel quite comfortable in this position because she will be mouth level with his penis instead of trying to bend over it (if he was lying flat on his back), straining her neck.

Plus, since guys also enjoy it when their partners play with their packages while giving them head, this position is good for facilitating that since it “frees” up everything and makes it easy to access.

Another reason that this position is popular with guys is because it’s a common porn movie position – the guy is standing while the woman is kneeling with her mouth on his penis. So, for guys that have been fantasizing about getting in on the action that their favorite porn stars made famous, then here’s a good way to start.

There aren’t really any cons of this position except for the fact that only the man is being pleasured in this position, unlike the 69 position where everyone’s happy.

Pros And Cons Of Rimming

Rimming, in case you don’t know, refers to oral to anal sexual stimulation – that is, one partner licks and sucks the other’s anus. This is usually performed in one of two ways – either one partner is on all fours with the other partner behind them performing anal oral sex, or one partner is on their back with their legs in the air and their partner is bent over them performing anal oral sex.

Either way, if you hadn’t even heard of rimming before this, then you might want to talk about it before initiating this with your partner. Because it involves anal stimulation, not everyone will be keen on trying this out. But, for the more adventurous folks, rimming can be very stimulating and exciting for both partners.

The pros of rimming are simple – it stimulates an area that is often ignored and that area is full of nerve endings that can make for very exciting stimulation. The cons, on the other hand, are more significant.

People are wary of this position because it involves anal stimulation with one’s mouth. Because there can be bacteria and other germs in the area, this can really act as a turn off for many people. In order to combat this factor, you should simply make sure your partner washes thoroughly before engaging in this activity.

For example, start the night out by bathing each other and then proceed to oral sex and rimming.

Pros And Cons Of Deep Throat Positions

There are a couple of different ways to achieve deep penetration during oral sex. In one position, the woman lies on her back with her head hanging over the edge of the bed and the man stands or crouches to insert himself into her mouth.

In this position, he controls the speed and depth of the movement which can be very good for him but requires careful planning for her sake or she might end up gagging and choking.

In another position, the woman lies on her back and the man straddles her as though they were about to have sex in the missionary position. He then moves up her body so that he can insert himself into her mouth. Again, he will control the speed and depth of movement here, so be careful before you choke her.

Road Head

“Road head” is the slang term for a man receiving head while he’s driving a vehicle. The cons of this position are obvious – this might cause an accident because of the lack of concentration the guy will end up paying to his driving.

Plus, it’s an awkward position in most vehicles, so it may be uncomfortable for her. The pros? Well, I guess he’ll be happy anytime he’s getting head, right?

Oral Sex Variety

Most sex positions focus on the actual act of sex and not oral sex which is a shame because with a few small changes, oral sex positions can be just as exciting as other sex positions. In order to figure out which ones work best for you, try a few different angles and positions. You will soon learn which ones work and which ones are best left to the porn actors.

6 Tips To Make Anal Pleasurable

2010-01-05T07:38:00.000-08:00

Although still considered taboo in certain parts of the world, anal sex is quickly becoming a more accepted part of people's sex lives.

That said, there are certain things you can do to ensure that your backdoor fun is the best it can be, regardless of whether you're giving it to her or she's venturing into your region.

Now then, here are six tips to make anal sex pleasurable and a memorable experience for the right reasons every time you engage in the deed.

1- Don't insist on penetration
Although it's hard to believe, you don't need to stick your fingers or penis inside the rectum for the pleasurable sensations associated with anal sex. And although it might be a bitter pill for some guys to swallow, but when you're receiving anal sex, you don't need to have anything put inside you either.

By simply rubbing the anus or even licking it, known as rimming, the receiving person can derive awesome sensations.

2- Make it feel good all the time
Although many women have told us that their first anal sex experience (and sometimes their second and third) hurt like a bitch, but ladies, it doesn't have to. We're serious.

Now, if she isn't calm and relaxed, it's going to hurt. If you insist on shoving your penis inside her (like ripping off a bandage -- one shot), it's going to hurt. If you don't use lubrication, it's going to hurt.

You need to talk about it and both of you need to agree to do it happily; no one should be coerced into it. You also need to be patient and let her lead the way. If you are going to engage in anal sex, let her hold your penis and guide it in slowly. Go in about an inch, then pull out completely, then go in about an inch farther and pull out completely. Keep going in and out at one-inch intervals and pretty soon you'll be in.

3- Understand that there are 2 sphincters
Assphincter says: "what?" There are two sphincter muscles in the anus (if you place your finger inside about inch deep and press against the side, you'll feel them), and they are less than an inch apart.

While you can control the external sphincter at will, the internal sphincter is not the same. It reacts more in a reflexive way. So while your partner may assure you that she's relaxed and willing, her internal sphincter may prove otherwise.

The point is that you need to be patient and give your partner time to learn how to relax and try different positions to make it happen.

4- Stimulate the anal region while doing other things
The sensation of touching the anus or rectum alone may feel uncomfortable for your girl or even yourself, but couple it with penetration or oral sex, and suddenly it'll feel so much better.

For example, while you're engaging in vaginal sex, you can insert a sex toy into your girl's anus to give her the sensation of DP, or double penetration. And she can insert a toy into yours while you're penetrating her or she's performing oral sex on you. It's up to you to decide what you're comfortable with.

5- Change your diet
If you or she don't eat fiber, raw vegetables and fruit, opting for a lot of processed foods instead, then you won't be contributing to a desirable anal sex experience.

Regular bowel movements are conducive to both comfort and confidence when it comes to anal sex. Adult film stars about to engage in anal sex always undergo enemas beforehand to ensure no "slip-ups."

So make sure that your diet is a healthy one and, although fiber is recommended, try to avoid eating it a few hours before you're set to engage in anal sex.

6- Obey the rules of hygiene
There's a reason why women have to wipe from front to back when they do No. 2; trace amounts of feces may cause infection. The same rules apply to anal sex.

If you put your penis or fingers in or around her anus, you cannot simply revert to her vagina afterward. There are ways to resolve this issue, however.

You can always discard the "anal sex" condom and put on a new one for vaginal entry.

As for your fingers, you can always keep baby wipes close by and wipe your hands before you use them on her vagina.

Remember; you can go from the vagina to the anus, but not the other way around. Hopefully you know your female anatomy.

back door, man

Japan teens skipping breakfast have sex younger

2009-12-27T19:46:00.001-08:00

Teens who skip breakfast as middle school students tend to have sex at an earlier age than those who start the day with a proper meal, a government-backed Japanese medical researcher said on Friday.

Lifestyle

The link between breakfast and sex probably lies in the teens' family life, said Kunio Kitamura, executive director of the Japan Family Planning Association, who conducted the survey.

The survey examined sexual experiences as well as family relationships and lifestyle habits of Japanese females and males aged 16 to 49. It was carried out in September and was based on about 1,500 people.

The average age of first-time sex for those who said they ate breakfast every day as a middle school student was 19.4, while for those who skipped breakfast, the average age was 17.5.

"The fact that people can't eat breakfast may show something about their family environment," said Kitamura. "Before blaming individuals for having sex at an early age, it may be necessary to look into the sort of homes they are from."

The survey, intended to study how to reduce unwanted pregnancies, also showed the average age of first-time sex was lower for those who found their mother annoying.

People who said they disliked their mother had sex for the first time at the average age of 16, while the average age for those who appreciated their mother was 19, Kitamura said.

How To Convince Her to Have Anal?

2009-12-21T08:20:00.000-08:00

Many men enjoy it, but convincing your girlfriend to have anal sex may be a challenge. So how do you fulfill this fantasy if your partner is against it? First things first: talk it over. Find out exactly what makes her hesitant to try it and then see what you can do to belie her fears. Once you’ve done that, the next step to convincing your girlfriend to have anal sex is to address the following issues.

Pain vs. pleasure

Many women only try anal sex once and then swear it off for life. This is usually because their first attempt was painful. If your girl has had a bad anal experience, it’ll be tough to get her to try it again. Even if she’s never tried it, she’s likely heard horror stories from others. Unless your girl has a masochistic streak, pain is not on her agenda when it comes to getting off.

The anus is nerve-packed and with the right kind of stimulation, anal play can feel amazing. Unfortunately, the same cluster of nerves responsible for the pleasure can also transmit feelings of pain and discomfort if your technique is off. When convincing your girlfriend to have anal sex, you must show your concern for her pleasure and safety by sharing your responsible and well-thought-out plan.

Perfecting the setting

First of all, she needs to be relaxed and prepared; anal sex is not suited for a quickie. The anus will tighten if she is nervous, which will make it hard for you to get in and more painful for her. If it’s her very first time, you need to make a big deal about getting her ready. Pick a time and place where she can be relaxed and away from any extra stressors. Make sure you won’t be interrupted.

You probably already know what really turns her on, so whether it’s a bubble bath and a massage or hardcore porn and costumes, have your tools at the ready. Getting her aroused is of the utmost importance.

Getting started

Do not skip straight to the butt. Instead, take your time with foreplay and make sure she’s into it before focusing your attention on your desired destination. Then, start her off slowly by using your mouth, fingers and/or sex toys to stimulate her anal opening before your penis comes anywhere near it. You might even want to just use smaller toys and your fingers until she gets used to the idea of having something inside that particular opening.

Use lube -- lots of lube. Unlike the vaginal opening, the anus does not create its own lubrication; you’ll need to use plenty of artificial wetness to ensure a smooth ride.

Going in

First of all, use a condom for anal sex. Because of the increased chances of small tears in the anal cavity during anal sex, it is easier to transmit several sexually transmitted diseases and infections, including HIV and hepatitis C.

Next, lube up. You want it to be as slippery as possible for an easier entrance.

More tips to help you with convincing your girlfriend to have anal sex...

Proceed slowly and ask your girlfriend to let you know if it starts to hurt. When she winces, ease back before continuing. The hardest part will be getting the head of your penis past the sphincter, which will naturally tense up to prevent entry (this is why you started with all that relaxation). Do not force yourself through when this happens; just continue to shallowly penetrate in and out with the tip of your penis. Once you feel it begin to let go a little, gently push the head past the sphincter.

You’ll feel a distinct difference once the head is inside. The sphincter will continue to constrict tightly around the shaft of your penis, but inside it will have more room. Some men find this sensation confusing and it is not unusual to lose your erection at this point. This doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t want to or can’t do it; your penis just needs time to adjust to the new experience.

Now, the hardest part is over for you and for her, but you need to continue to be highly aware of every move you make since being too rough once you’re inside can cause her considerable pain. You cannot thrust into her anus as hard as you would in her vagina. Take it easy and pay attention to how it is making her feel. If you get selfish and focus on your pleasure over her potential pain, this will probably be the last time you’ll have anal sex with her.

Avoiding the ick factor

Another reason why she may be against any anal action is that she may think it’s downright yucky. For some, the anus is a no-go zone and there’s nothing you can do to convince them otherwise, but if she’s just a bit squeamish about feces on the sheets (or you are) there are steps you can take to minimize that possibility.

Time it so that you are engaging in the act a few hours after she has evacuated the area and thoroughly cleaned up. You could even add a sexy shower or bath to the foreplay schedule to take care of this step. If she wants to go all out, she can try an anal douche to flush out anything icky that may be left behind.

Good girls don’t

You might also have a hard time convincing your girlfriend to have anal sex because she views it as deviant and not something a good girl would do. Although the taboo has faded considerably, there is still a prevailing attitude that anal sex is for bad, easy or slutty girls. If she’s worried about this, you need to assure her that you do not think of her that way and that your attitude would not change after the deed is done.

A note on porn and anal

Do not emulate porn stars when it comes to anal sex. Professional porn actresses are either stretched out in the sphincter or too high to notice the pain that results from the minimally lubed, no foreplay, extremely rough anal sex that almost always occurs in pornographic pictures. They may also have used a numbing cream or gel to dull the pain of anal intercourse. This is an extremely dumb idea, since pain is your body’s way of telling you that something is wrong.

Even if she can’t feel it, the sex act could still be causing damage to very sensitive areas that will protest plenty once the numbing effect wears off. Plus, deadening the area with desensitizing cream also ensures that none of the pleasurable sensations will reach her either. If you’re not using a condom, it could dull the nerve-endings in your penis as well and what’s the point of doing it if you can’t feel the pleasure?

Does Your Bra Fit? Find the Right Size for Your Body

2009-11-01T20:00:00.001-08:00

Picking the Right Bra After Breast Augmentation

There are few times in a woman's life when a perfect fitting bra is an absolute must. After a boob job, however, the style and fit of a bra can make or break the recovery process. With this in mind, making sure a very good bra is selected should be a top priority following breast augmentation surgery.

There are a number of reasons why having the right bra can prove to be very important after surgery. They include:

- Comfort - While many women who go in for breast augmentation surgery have never before needed a bra for the "comfort factor," this can become an issue with larger size and more bulk. After surgery, in particular, comfort can be a very big issue.

- Recovery - Wearing the right type of supportive bra can make the recovery process following breast enlargement surgery go much more smoothly. A good bra can also assist with the final shaping and help women avoid appearance complications.

- Prevention of rapid descent - When rapid descent occurs, the breast below the nipple is larger than the breast above the nipple line. While this can still give a woman a bigger, more "natural" appearance, the overall effect is unbecoming in the eyes of many women. It makes the breasts appear saggy and aged.

Avoiding potential problems following breast augmentation surgery is often quite achievable when the right bra is worn. The things to consider when picking out a bra following breast enlargement include:

- Timing - A well fitted bra should generally be picked out and worn on a regular basis starting at about two to three weeks following breast augmentation surgery.

- Wire fit - This should fall on the new breast crease exactly.

- The cup - This is very important when selecting a bra following a boob job. The cup itself should be firm and designed to evenly support the new breast. This means it should neither be too shallow, nor too deep.

- The straps - The vertical straps need to be strong enough to hold the breasts firmly in position. The back strap should also be firm, but do keep comfort in mind.

Some tips to help locate a perfect bra following augmentation that are well worth following include:

- Seek assistance - It is not a bad idea to go to a good department store and receive measurement and fit assistance from an experienced saleswoman. This can help insure a good fit.

- Double-check the bra with the surgeon - Do bring fitted bras to post surgical visits to allow the doctor to check the fit.

- Do not wear push-up bras - As flattering as these can be, they can cause improper positioning of the implant and can even cause breast deformities during healing.

Having the right bra following breast augmentation surgery is extremely important. Picking out the correct support can assist with healing, implant positioning and even increase comfort level in the days, weeks and months following the procedure. Women should take care when selecting a bra to make sure just the right fit is obtained.

Unless you know your proper bra size, you could be wearing the wrong undergarment. This can be more than just a mild discomfort: bras that are too tight or loose can lead to serious injuries to your neck and back. They can also cause numbness in your hands and fingers. Trying to work with the wrong bra will only leave you in physical pain. When you find a bra that fits correctly, you’ll feel – and look – better.

All the letters and numbers on bras might seem confusing. What’s the difference between A and AA? Are DD and E the same bra, but with different letters? The process is actually easy once you understand what the numbers mean. Fortunately, there’s a fast and simple way to decipher the “code” of the bra industry. Grab a cloth measuring tape – usually the type that a seamstress or tailor will use – and start measuring.

Step One:

Wrap the tape around the area just beneath your breasts. You should pull the tape so that it is snug, but not too tight. Now, subtract five from your measurement. This number is your band size; remember that for later.

Step Two:

Move the tape upward so that it covers the fullest part of your bust. Make sure that the tape is a little loose around your body. Check out your measurement. If you get an odd number, round up. Now, subtract from your band size number.

Step Three:

Now you have your cup size. Your number corresponds to the bra industry’s sizes like this:

AA = less than one inch A = one inch B = two inches C = three inches D = four inches E (or DD) = five inches F (or DDD) = six inches

Now that you’re confident that you have the right bra size, head to your favorite lingerie store and start browsing. You’ve eliminated one of the biggest problems that women face when purchasing these undergarments, so go shop with confidence

By John Barnes

Threesome Rules

2009-01-02T05:53:00.000-08:00

Threesome Rules

By Chris Ford

Threesome rules to follow
There's a whole lot of information on how to arrange a threesome, but there's very little about what you should do once you're in one.

Threesomes are not like regular sex -- they require both imagination and sensitivity. If you plan on having a threesome, you need to go into the situation with some idea of what you're going to be doing, you need some threesome rules.

Understanding these basic threesome rules will help you avoid some common mistakes that typically prevent you from getting the most out of your ménage à trois. There are various types of threesomes that you can enjoy, but we're betting that you're hoping for the type with two women, one of whom is likely your bisexual or bi-curious girlfriend or wife. What follows are the basic threesome rules on how to handle such a delectable, and potentially sticky, sexual situation.

Threesome Rule No.1
Establish the rules

You're going to have sex with two women and all three of you have your own rules and limits, so understanding and respecting one another's comfort levels should be a top priority when you're establishing your threesome rules.

Because your relationship with your woman will likely be affected by this new experience, you need to be absolutely clear on which acts she's comfortable with -- and what to avoid doing -- in advance. She may tell you that she's uncomfortable with the idea of you penetrating another woman or even pleasing another woman orally.

You must respect her limits. Remember that each woman may suddenly feel jealous, so try your best not to shut either woman out and always give more attention to the woman with whom you have a relationship -- this is an extremely important threesome rule.

As well, you may end up feeling jealous if you're not the center of attention. Just keep in mind that the object of the game is to share sex between three people.

Also, remember that although some people try to drink their way to bravery for a threesome, drunken sex usually ends up being bad sex. If you want to have a cocktail or two to loosen up, that's fine, but no more. You want to be at peak performance.

Threesome Rule No.2

Be as giving as you can
Although you may be hoping that the two women will give you 100% of their attention, the truth is that they're there to please each other just as much as they're there to please you. You may end up feeling ignored and should do your best to get over it.

The best way to approach this situation, and an important threesome rule to follow, is to forget your feelings for a moment and try to be as generous with your hands and mouth as you can.

Pleasure in one-on-one sex goes back and forth, but in a threesome it's more of a cycle that moves from person to person. So be patient; focus on turning both women on and the attention will come back to you.

Whatever pleasure you get in a threesome is a treat, so instead of expecting anything in particular (like getting oral sex from both women at once), enjoy everything that comes your way.

Threesome rule No.3

Keep yourself busy
When you find that both women are busy pleasuring each other and you have nothing to do, keep yourself busy. Take matters into your own hands and find something to do.

Caress the breasts, thighs or vagina(s) of one or both women, kiss their backs or necks, or give oral sex to one if she's in a position that allows you to (believe us, this will redirect attention toward you in a hurry).

If you decide instead just to pleasure yourself for a little while, don't feel bad; the action will come back to you soon enough.

Threesome Rule No.4

Be careful with penetration
Penetration is what novelist Tom Robbins calls "that old show-stopper." It automatically forms a serious bond between you and one woman, leaving the other out. For this reason, penetrate only when you're sure both women are comfortable with it.

Your natural inclination will be to pay close attention to the woman you're having sex with, but you mustn't focus on her entirely. This is about the three of you, so keep that ideal close at hand. Kiss and touch the other woman, look her in the eye, and talk to her if the mood is appropriate.

Be aware that you may feel overwhelmed with pleasure if you're thrusting into one woman and kissing and caressing another, meaning that you might climax more quickly than expected. Take it slowly and pace yourself.

And don't get so excited that you lose track of the women: All three of you should be sexually satisfied and, even if you achieve climax first, you must do everything you can to bring your two partners to orgasm.

Threesome Rule No.5

Be safe
Condoms are a necessity, obviously. Semen, vaginal fluid and menstrual blood transmit STDs, so use one specific hand to pleasure one specific woman and use the other hand on the other woman -- and keep it that way. You must never alternate.

Likewise, if you're having intercourse with both women, you must also use a separate condom with each partner. As well, dental dams are a good precaution for oral sex. Lubricate the side that you place against a woman's skin for better sensation.

About Virginity

2008-12-28T08:37:00.001-08:00

The Lying Virgin

For some lucky women, the vagina shrinks back to its original size if they don't have sex for a while, and the next time they do engage in carnal activity, they bleed. Now does that make them virgins? I don't think so. But that's not what I'm referring to; I'm talking about the women who feel that they have to lie as though not being virgins somehow implies that they're not good women.

In today's world, finding a virgin is as common as seeing Britney Spears in a turtleneck. So why do some women insist on fibbing and saying they are when they're not? That'll probably remain a mystery considering there are a multitude of reasons available. It's funny because it seems that gentlemen are no longer searching for virgins, but rather nice girls who have their head screwed on straight and have a wild streak behind closed doors.

And in hindsight, would men prefer a woman who just lay there and let him do everything because she's "never done this before," or would he prefer a girl who has experience and can ride him like a cowboy (given that she hasn't bedded the town and the farm animals)? You be the judge.

Secondary Virginity

If there's ever been an oxymoron that blew me away, this one is it. The point of virginity is that once it's gone, it's gone for good. And no matter how long a woman waits, it's not coming back. So these women that say that they've had sex in the past, but now want to wait until they're married before having sex again are really in a league of their own.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to wait until marriage, but let's call it something different, shall we? How about, "it didn't feel good the first time" or "I made a big mistake?" It's definitely not virginity at the secondary, elementary, or even sedentary level for that matter.

If you met a woman and she told you that she has had sex in the past but won't have it again until she's married, wouldn't you be a little miffed that another guy got the goods and yet you can't? I would certainly feel a tinge of anger at the notion if my man wouldn't let me get at the goods that his former girlfriend had full access to. But that's just me.

Is She A Virgin?

2008-12-13T07:08:00.000-08:00

By Vanessa Burton
Women's Sexuality Correspondent - Every other Tuesday

After many heated debates, I thought I'd finally touch upon a topic that may help men realize that what used to connote being a virgin has somehow become quite distorted. What we've managed to do to virginity would be like rewording the Ten Commandments so that everyone feels that they haven't really committed any sins.

So there seems to be levels of virginity nowadays. There's the "never been touched" virgin and the "I've been poked everywhere but there" virgin. Perhaps you've been lucky enough to have busted a cherry or two in your day, or maybe you hooked up with a virgin who would basically do everything but have vaginal intercourse with you. Whatever the case, today's article is dedicated to uncovering the counterfeit virgins.

extra, extra virgin

Virgin in the dictionary is defined as, "being in a pure or natural state; unsullied. Unused, uncultivated, or unexplored." Nowadays it seems that the only virgins left are our spayed and neutered domestic pets, and even they still get excited around the opposite sex.

But nevertheless, if you do happen to come across a unicorn, I mean a virgin, and she has never gone beyond kissing a man, let alone performed any oral ordeals, then she is a genuine, honest to goodness virgin. Now, whether or not you have the patience to wait around until she's ready to let you play around her privates with your slinky is a whole other matter altogether.

But be careful, no woman ever forgets her first, not necessarily because it was such an incredible experience, but rather because she let that person take something that she can never get back. Virginity is prized by most and women who are willing to give it to you habitually have a hard time letting go if things aren't working out.

extra virgin

If your woman has had a couple of boyfriends but has never been prodded in any orifices, then she too can be considered a virgin, but with a twist. Perhaps a couple of guys have managed to caress her breasts and perhaps even given them a lick or two, but that's still pretty tame compared to today's world of bestiality and S&M.

If you're patient and think that she may be the one -- or more importantly, she thinks you're the one, then you may be the lucky guy that gets to delve into her uncharted waters. You and she can explore things and if she has been dying to unleash the beast within, then your sexual compatibility may lie within her (so to speak).

experimental virgin

Now, onto the juicy part. There are those women that believe that if they perform oral sex on every boyfriend they've ever had, and let him get his fingers sticky every now and then, that they're still virgins. Now they may bleed a bit the first time they have sex, but are they really virgins?

They have experience. I mean if she just lies there the first time you insert your member, but can play the flute on your instrument like she's written symphonies, has she really maintained her purity? At what point do we draw the line? When has the line between purity and experience been crossed?

I personally don't think that a girl who can inhale a kielbasa like it's a toothpick necessarily connotes the virgin type. If virginity lies in a hole and is not about experience, then our society has a very warped definition of what virginity really is.

Is She A Virgin?

2008-11-16T09:02:00.000-08:00

Extra, Extra Virgin

Virgin in the dictionary is defined as, "being in a pure or natural state; unsullied. Unused, uncultivated, or unexplored." Nowadays it seems that the only virgins left are our spayed and neutered domestic pets, and even they still get excited around the opposite sex.

But nevertheless, if you do happen to come across a unicorn, I mean a virgin, and she has never gone beyond kissing a man, let alone performed any oral ordeals, then she is a genuine, honest to goodness virgin. Now, whether or not you have the patience to wait around until she's ready to let you play around her privates with your slinky is a whole other matter altogether.

But be careful, no woman ever forgets her first, not necessarily because it was such an incredible experience, but rather because she let that person take something that she can never get back. Virginity is prized by most and women who are willing to give it to you habitually have a hard time letting go if things aren't working out.

Extra virgin

If your woman has had a couple of boyfriends but has never been prodded in any orifices, then she too can be considered a virgin, but with a twist. Perhaps a couple of guys have managed to caress her breasts and perhaps even given them a lick or two, but that's still pretty tame compared to today's world of bestiality and S&M.

If you're patient and think that she may be the one -- or more importantly, she thinks you're the one, then you may be the lucky guy that gets to delve into her uncharted waters. You and she can explore things and if she has been dying to unleash the beast within, then your sexual compatibility may lie within her (so to speak).

Experimental Virgin

Now, onto the juicy part. There are those women that believe that if they perform oral sex on every boyfriend they've ever had, and let him get his fingers sticky every now and then, that they're still virgins. Now they may bleed a bit the first time they have sex, but are they really virgins?

They have experience. I mean if she just lies there the first time you insert your member, but can play the flute on your instrument like she's written symphonies, has she really maintained her purity? At what point do we draw the line? When has the line between purity and experience been crossed?

I personally don't think that a girl who can inhale a kielbasa like it's a toothpick necessarily connotes the virgin type. If virginity lies in a hole and is not about experience, then our society has a very warped definition of what virginity really is.

The Anal Incubator

Believe it or not, there are gals out there who will let you get into their anal canals, but will still aver that they are virgins. Carnal desires are natural, but anal sex, as well as oral sex (despite what Clinton says), has the word "sex" attached to it because that's exactly what it is. And once you have sex, you are no longer a virgin. Case closed.

So these women are under the illusion that as long as their vaginas remain untouched by the almighty penis, they can still claim to be pure. Pure crud, that is. And if men seem to think that this is a viable argument, then they're just horny and have no qualms about taking the back way in.

The Lying Virgin

For some lucky women, the vagina shrinks back to its original size if they don't have sex for a while, and the next time they do engage in carnal activity, they bleed. Now does that make them virgins? I don't think so. But that's not what I'm referring to; I'm talking about the women who feel that they have to lie as though not being virgins somehow implies that they're not good women.

In today's world, finding a virgin is as common as seeing Britney Spears in a turtleneck. So why do some women insist on fibbing and saying they are when they're not? That'll probably remain a mystery considering there are a multitude of reasons available. It's funny because it seems that gentlemen are no longer searching for virgins, but rather nice girls who have their head screwed on straight and have a wild streak behind closed doors.

And in hindsight, would men prefer a woman who just lay there and let him do everything because she's "never done this before," or would he prefer a girl who has experience and can ride him like a cowboy (given that she hasn't bedded the town and the farm animals)? You be the judge.

Secondary Virginity

If there's ever been an oxymoron that blew me away, this one is it. The point of virginity is that once it's gone, it's gone for good. And no matter how long a woman waits, it's not coming back. So these women that say that they've had sex in the past, but now want to wait until they're married before having sex again are really in a league of their own.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to wait until marriage, but let's call it something different, shall we? How about, "it didn't feel good the first time" or "I made a big mistake?" It's definitely not virginity at the secondary, elementary, or even sedentary level for that matter.

If you met a woman and she told you that she has had sex in the past but won't have it again until she's married, wouldn't you be a little miffed that another guy got the goods and yet you can't? I would certainly feel a tinge of anger at the notion if my man wouldn't let me get at the goods that his former girlfriend had full access to. But that's just me.

Why is it important?

What makes women feel that they still have to claim that they are chaste even if they're not? Is virginity still as prized as it once was or has our society become oversexed and numbed by the media?

Obviously there are some very virtuous women who may or may not be virgins, but that's not what's important. What's important is finding someone who is not just compatible on the communicative, intelligent and attractive levels, but on a sexual level as well.

So find yourself a woman who makes your heart (among other things) pulsate and enjoy your time with her. And always wear a condom, even if she's a "virgin."

Fantasy can lead to reality

2008-11-03T05:51:00.000-08:00

Some of these female sex fantasies may have little chance of progressing to reality with your woman, but some have more potential than you may realize. A little bit of coaxing can go a long way in terms of spicing things up in the bedroom. Ask her which of these top 10 female sex fantasies she finds most appealing, and see if she’s willing to experiment -- you may be surprised by her answer.

Please her with your finger techniques
Using your fingers on a woman's vagina can reap amazing results -- given that you use the right finger techniques. Of course, it's up to you to figure out exactly what your particular woman prefers when it comes to speed, tempo and amount of fingers.

So, today's tip is offering up a bunch of finger techniques that most women will love. Before you get to work, however, there's one thing that's certain: A woman needs to be revved up and ready to go before you can manipulate her vagina with these finger techniques. You can't just shove your fingers inside her or rub her clitoris without ensuring arousal first. So, remember to turn her on before you introduce her to your hands.

Here are some finger techniques that will surely press all her right pleasure buttons.

The rubber

The clitoris is the place to stimulate for most women. When she's adequately self-lubricated, or you've put some water-based lube on your fingers, use the tips of your index and middle fingers to rub her clitoris softly in a circular motion. Her reaction will let you know that you're on to something. Continue your pace and slowly begin to increase speed. At no point, however, should you go so fast that you end up losing focus.

If she yells out something like "Don't stop!" then don't stop. Some women, however, like it when you take a break from the clitoris and proceed to insert those very same fingers inside the vagina at a rhythmic pace. Take cues from her reactions to see if she's one of these women.

The fastest finger

Does your woman prefer to have slow, exaggerated sex, or does she like to hop up and down on you like a bunny? If it's the latter, using your middle finger to go in and out of her at high speeds may be beneficial in the orgasm department.

For this finger technique, you'd be best served to position yourself in front of her vagina (that is, spread her legs open and kneel in between them). That way, you can keep your hand straight and ensure that your finger(s) is (are) going in at full capacity. It also lessens the chances of missing your target.

The helping hand

If you can manage to use both hands at different tempos, she'll keep getting wetter. While using the tips of your fingers on one hand to rub her clitoris in a circular motion, use the index and middle fingers of the other hand to glide in and out of her vagina. The multiple sensations will serve to increase her chances of reaching orgasm. It's not a race, however; you don't have to go as fast as humanly possible. Just keep a steady rhythm. If she wants it faster, she'll let you know.

The screw

In the spirit of the "fastest finger" technique, you'll need to use your index and middle fingers for this one. Again, sit between her legs and start off with the palm of your hand facing down. Insert your fingers all the way in, then turn your hand so that your palm is facing up and comes out. Repeat it as often as necessary until she reaches orgasm.

Tip: When you turn your hand so that your palm faces up, tap her clitoris with your thumb each time.

The G-spot indicator

Sitting in front of her with your palm facing up, insert your finger(s) inside her and make a "come hither" motion. Your objective is to try to tap her belly button from the inside, in effect, hitting her G-spot. Don't get aggressive right away, however. Start off slowly and, judging by her reaction, keep the same pace or increase speed.

The shocker

If you and your woman enjoy experimenting and you've explored the back end before, this one may be quite enjoyable for her. While you're using your index and middle fingers in her vagina, stick your pinkie finger in her anus (your hand must be sideways -- that is, your palm would be facing her thigh). While you go in and out, both holes will be stimulated simultaneously.

Keep in mind that after you place a finger into her anus, you cannot place that same finger into her vagina -- it may lead to an infection.

The slider

This finger technique needs good lubrication. With your index and middle fingers, start off by placing the tips of your fingers on either side of her clitoris, then glide down and make your way inside her vagina. Get back to where you started and keep repeating this maneuver.

Can't put my finger on it

Manipulating the vagina to orgasm is not as difficult as you may think. Once you manage to arouse her mind, her body will follow. And of course, you should encourage her to be vocal about what she likes.

Until next time, keep those fingers neat and trim, and show her what you can do with them.

Top 10 Female Sex Fantasies

2008-10-29T06:35:00.000-07:00

Check out these top 10 female sex fantasies:

If you think women don’t sit around fantasizing about very naughty things, think again. Women are experts when it comes to dreaming up the sauciest of fantasies, and they don’t bother limiting themselves to the traditional. The top 10 female sex fantasies cover everything from fetish to threesomes, and you may be surprised to know that many women want to do more than just fantasize. Some women spend just as much time hoping their men will help put their female sex fantasies into practice. Sound interesting? Read on: we'll give you the inside scoop on the top 10 female sex fantasies, and what she’s really daydreaming about when you least expect it.

Number 10
Domination (her dominating you)

Women love a big strong man who can sweep them off their feet and carry them into the sunset -- but you may be surprised to learn that one of the top female sex fantasies is to have that same big strong man begging for sexual release in the bedroom. One of the top 10 female fantasies involves tying you down to a bed while she forces you to pleasure her with your tongue; the entire scenario revolves around you worshipping her body and begging for her attention. Why? She gets to be in control while enjoying total devotion from her man in the process. What more could she want?

Number 9
Domination (you dominating her)

The advent of the metrosexual is most commonly blamed for this top 10 female sex fantasy. It seems that modern, independent women actually prefer real men who aren’t afraid to embrace their testosterone. This woman fantasizes about you pinning her down, thrusting her thighs apart with your knee and penetrating her as savagely as you possibly can. She wants to feel your fingers snake through her hair and pull her head back; she wants to feel your teeth on her shoulder; she wants to be owned -- if only while in the bedroom (after which, she’ll want a clear return to equality). This win-win female sex fantasy scenario allows her to fully indulge her femininity, while still espousing the merits of feminism.
Number 8
Teacher/student
You’ll be thrilled to know that the Britney Spears fantasy isn’t just for men: Women love the idea of dressing up like a schoolgirl and parading about for your viewing pleasure. Many would even like to take it a step further, playing the naughty tart who won’t stop teasing you until you pull her over your knee and give her the spanking she craves. That’s right: Loads and loads of grown women fantasize about getting a proper spanking from their man. A spanking from you is exciting for two reasons: not only does this mild show of dominance hurt so good, but it also usually leads straight into hot, hot sex.

Number 7
Sex with a stranger

Most women wouldn’t have the chutzpah to act out this top 10 female sex fantasy, but you’d better believe that most have thoroughly enjoyed thinking about it. No-strings-attached sex is something many women would love to experience, but most are dissuaded from it thanks to a lofty load of self-produced guilt. Nevertheless, her panties definitely get wet at the idea of a gorgeous male approaching her in a dark, smoky bar and taking her back to his room for a long, hot night of wild sex. This female sex fantasy appeals to her naughtiest side -- the kinky one that rarely sees the light of day, thanks to a lifetime of religious and societal conditioning.

Number 6
Threesome with another woman

These days, it’s fairly common for straight women to get down with other women now and again, making this top 10 female sex fantasy a not-so-unrealistic possibility. That being said, this threesome fantasy rarely involves you getting playtime with the second hottie, as most girlfriends do not want to see their man touch another woman. In this scenario, you’re meant to play voyeur until your woman is ready for something more hardcore. This allows her to experience the best of both worlds without having to worry about things like jealousy or sharing.

Number 5
Threesome with two men

This top 10 female sex fantasy involves the woman being worshipped and adored by two gorgeous men. These men are typically heterosexual and, therefore, only interested in the woman -- which translates into a whole lot of action for her. Her sex fantasy might be as innocent as being penetrated by one man while performing oral sex on the other or it might go further, drawing on more hardcore aspects such as double penetration and the like. This female sex fantasy is the ultimate taboo for many women, which makes it all the more fun to imagine.

Number 4
Voyeurism

If you think women don’t enjoy watching other people get it on, you’re completely mistaken. Your woman likes to watch for the same reasons you do: it’s erotic, exhilarating and slightly taboo. She may fantasize about peeping through the neighbor’s bedroom window, spying on a kinky couple in the park or even catching a full-on orgy from the sidelines. Believe it when we tell you she enjoys "watching" just as much as you do; it allows to her be naughty without getting her hands dirty, so to speak.

Female sex fantasies are real, and you could be part of one tonight

Number 3
Rape

As mentioned in our Common Female Fantasies article, rape is a massively popular fantasy among women. Most psychologists believe this top 10 female sex fantasy allows a woman to have the wild, dirty sex she craves, without having to suffer the guilt that often follows. These female sex fantasies usually involve a gorgeous man carrying her off to his bedroom and quickly getting down to business. She’ll protest as he tears her clothing off and expertly arouses her body, but on the inside, she’ll love every minute of it. This continues to the point of penetration, and leads her to an incredible orgasm despite her earlier protests. This female sex fantasy allows a woman to be wanton and enjoy sex -- something society rarely permits.

Number 2
Exhibitionism

She might cringe when you bring up the topic of making homemade porn flicks, but your woman has probably fantasized about doing precisely that at one time or another. Unfortunately, most women are far too body-conscious to experiment with such things, making this a top 10 female sex fantasy, as opposed to a reality. Believe it or not, some women even take this desire to the next level, fantasizing about others watching as you shag her silly in a public place.

Number 1
Private dancer

Most women wouldn’t have the nerve to strip in a public setting, but this top 10 female sex fantasy definitely involves taking it all off. She loves the idea of tantalizing you with a striptease, and she’d love to give you a private lap dance. Why? Your enjoyment tells her you find her attractive, and your erection tells her she has control -- a potent combination that women simply can’t get enough of.

Wearing her Vagina out

2008-10-24T22:02:00.001-07:00

Question:

My girlfriend is happy with my size and performance, but she has said that sometimes when we make love too often (more than once a day or even a few times within a week) her vagina feels "beat." She also has shown me that she tends to rip around the edges/outside of her vagina (also saying that it stings). Is this my fault? Can I help her? Can she do something? Is it normal for women to experience this "ripping?"

Answer:
Since you’re the one poking around down there, I’d have to say that you’re partly responsible for her vagina feeling “beat.” This could be happening for a variety of reasons, the two main ones being that there might not be enough lubrication during sex, causing ripping or soreness, and that sex might last too long, in which case chafing may occur.

Let’s explore the first option: Next time you have sex, try applying a water-based lubricant to the area. If lack of lubrication is indeed the problem, this solution should reduce any uncomfortable friction and prevent any painful tearing.

As for the second option: If sex lasts too long, continuous rubbing on one spot can cause discomfort in the form of chafing, ripping and even bleeding. My recommendation is that you change positions frequently during the course of lovemaking. While the spot of insertion is the same, the angle of penetration varies with different positions, lessening the likelihood of constantly rubbing the same spot.
You can also take measures to reduce the length of the lovemaking session. For example, try masturbating frequently in order to practice gaining better control over the length of orgasm and time of ejaculation.

Sex Drive Super Foods

2008-10-11T18:45:00.000-07:00

Foods that increase male libido:

To get your sex drive into gear, try some of these foods:

Oysters: Their high levels of zinc raise testosterone production; they contain dopamine, a hormone that increases libido.

Avocados: They have vitamin B6, which helps increase male hormone production.

Eggs: They contain high levels of vitamins B6 and B5, which help balance hormone levels and combat stress.

Garlic: It contains allicin, which increases blood flow to the sexual organs.

Exactly how much of these foods should you be eating a day? I recommend you start by incorporating daily servings of some of these foods into your diet for a few weeks and see if you notice a difference in your sexual stamina. If it’s working for you, speak to a nutritionist to find out how you can incorporate these and other hormone-producing and vitamin-rich foods into your diet in a healthy manner.

Virginal Woes

2008-10-11T18:41:00.000-07:00

Question:

I've been trying to finger my girlfriend who is a virgin. The problem is that I can’t get my finger more than about an inch inside; there seems to be something in the way at the top and whenever I press or rub against it, it’s painful for her. Could it maybe be that her hymen hasn't broken or something?

Answer:
Your first inclination is probably right: What you are feeling is her intact hymen. While it is possible to get a finger or two past the hymen during mutual masturbation, it is also entirely possible to have a little difficulty. Each woman is different. In regards to her pain, try applying a water-based lubricant, waiting until she is more aroused, and then inserting one finger very slowly. Tell her to give you guidance on how deep and how slow she wants it. Once you’ve reached a comfortable level, ask her if it would be alright to use a second finger.

It is important to make your girlfriend aware that her hymen might tear during this practice. While the hymen is perceived as synonymous with virginity, tearing it does not mean that she is no longer a virgin. If remaining a virgin in all senses of the word is important to your girlfriend, I highly recommend discussing the situation before you go finger happy.

Penis Size

2008-10-11T18:31:00.000-07:00

Question:

I’m 16 and I'm long past puberty, but my penis didn’t seem to grow any, and this is becoming the cause for a lot of insecurity and doubt. I've read your articles about penis enlargement and I can gather that most of it is a farce or extremely unsafe. Is there any way that I can increase my girth and length even a little bit? Even in just the flaccid size? I'd like a method that has little to no risk of causing me bodily harm and something that's as natural as possible.

Answer:
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, shall we? First and foremost, at the age of 16, you are not “long past puberty.” You may have been in the midst of puberty for the last few years, but it’s not done quite yet. In fact, the penis continues to grow until about age 18. If you’re still unhappy with your penis size within the next few years, you can see a physician to discuss your options (which include pills, penis pumps, silicone injections, and inflatable implants). In the meantime, I suggest making cosmetic changes to enhance the appearance of your penis, like trimming your pubic hair or losing weight if you are overweight.

See-Through Sperm!

2008-10-06T23:33:00.000-07:00

Question:

I was wondering why my boyfriend’s ejaculate is so clear. It's not white at all. Does that mean he has less sperm floating around in it? I know that usually, if a man masturbates often, it can thin out the sperm -- but he doesn't masturbate very much.

Answer:

While most ejaculate is a milky white color, it’s not uncommon to find ejaculate that is completely clear. But don’t fear; it’s not necessarily a cause for alarm.

This doesn’t have anything to do with the amount of sperm “floating around in it,” as you suggest. In fact, semen only makes up 10% of a man’s total ejaculate, while the remaining 90% is seminal plasma. The composition of this plasma varies among individuals and is mainly responsible for its coloring, which can change over the course of time due to such factors as physical activity, temperature, ejaculation frequency, and diet.

As a general rule, unless a man experiences burning or pain, or has blood in your semen, there’s nothing to be concerned about.

Wet and Wild

2008-10-06T23:30:00.000-07:00

Question:

Why does a girl get wet and why does her vagina get sensitive after a lot of stimulation? My girlfriend asks me these questions and I don’t know how to answer them.

Answer:
When a woman is sexually stimulated, many physical changes take over her vagina -- from the clitoris to the labia. In the same way that a man’s penis will fill with blood upon arousal, the veins in a woman’s pelvis, clitoris and labia can swell with blood too. This contributes to the sensitivity your girlfriend is wondering about. The swelling also contributes to the wetness, as it creates a kind of sweating phenomenon, producing fluid that makes the labia (or the vaginal lips) wet, and allowing for easier penetration during sex.