Michael Walden's How To Feel Good Again : Be Happy Now Blog

Carolyn Flynn Counseling Services : Two Downloadable books on Grief and Loss

2011-09-16T12:00:00.001-07:00

Here is a shout out for my sisters new website: Carolyn Flynn Counseling Services

She is really excited about it. In her own words:

"I have been putting my therapy techniques into book and workbook forms to help a broader number of individuals, especially those who can't afford therapy. I now have two downloadable books available on my website: "Heal Your Grief" a guidebook with 12 effective therapeutic healing techniques for coping with death and loss with special instructions on how to help children cope with grief and loss, and "How to Communicate Your Emotions and Desires" a communication workbook that helps individuals learn how to effectively express themselves. I will be adding more workbooks and other self-help products in the near future.

So spread the word and help those who need these services and information. Thanks!

How To Feel Good Again : Be Happy Now

2011-05-16T19:38:00.000-07:00

One path to wellness or feeling good again requires the following:

Let go of feeling you need to be popular, young, amazingly attractive, perfect body, talented, perfectly behaved or rich. You don't need any of these things to be happy and feel good again. Let go of feeling like people who are in relationships with you need to be these things. Let go of controlling others or wishing they were different. Ignore the blaring media who makes you feel like you need these things. The media are motivated by money, not truth or reality.

Let go of feeling you need to be loved by everyone or even loved/liked by someone you care about.

You just need:

a. To be loving and happy to everyone around you. Always assume the best about people- give them the benefit of the doubt. You need to find ways to be with people every day. You have as many friends as people you are kind to and make an effort towards. Serve people as needs arise. Family, friends and acquaintances are all needed. Join groups, play with your kids, go on a date, etc. Try to connect with each person through eye contact, sincerity, friendly touch and conversation. But even watching TV with someone is better than alone!

b. Strive to be healthy. Eat a healthy diet, exercise and keep active in your daily life. Walk more places. Do active activities. Take the stairs. Take fitness classes or do workout DVDs. Don't sit at your computer all day.

c. Keep your environment clean and organized. Have certain times (daily) where you clean, organize and declutter.

d. Keep yourself clean. Take regular showers, keep your hair and nails looking nice.

e. Keep up with necessary tasks and errands such as grocery shopping, work or kids needs. Keep a daily planner for appointments and priority scheduling.

f. Pray daily.

g. Meditate to relieve stress, control thoughts and focus on the present. Think positive thoughts on purpose.

h. Get out in nature. Go for walks, go hiking, buy an indoor plant, sit on your deck and listen to music, plant flowers, get a pet, etc.

i. Set goals and take steps to achieve them. Acquire knowledge and skills. Contribute to the world in some way. Working with others toward a goal is best.

Family Night : Chicken Soup For The Soul

2011-05-14T05:48:00.000-07:00

Our family meets together nightly for a family discussion, but one night a week we try to make it more special. This is our Family Night.

Sometimes it is hard to connect with family members in the fast paced world we live in, so making this family time mandatory and starting it young helps to facilitate connections throughout your kids lives.

During our Family Night we like to show a video that teaches something. Right now we are watching episodes from the Chicken Soup for the Soul: Inspirational Stories Honoring Family There are many other DVDs in this series including Chicken Soup for the Soul - The Gift of Love and Chicken Soup for the Soul: About Life's Lessons and Chicken Soup for the Soul: Triumphing The Human Spirit , among others. They are perfect for Family night because there are many short episodes on a disk. We usually watch two and then discuss them a little bit. We also sing songs and share a treat.

When we run out of Chicken Soup for the Soul episodes I am going to try out: http://www.spiritualcinemacircle.com/

I think it works just like Netflix, but it only offers inspirational DVDs. I can't recommend it just yet because I haven't tried it, but it looks promising.

Family night has made a big difference in our family. Even if your kids are older I still recommend trying it. You can also play board games or do a family activity such as miniature golf or something. Anything to get the whole family together.

Have fun!

How To Overcome A Bad Habit

2011-05-10T20:04:00.000-07:00

1. Write down the times, places, and people that contribute to the behavior. Discuss this with someone you trust.

2. Write down how this behavior is causing you or others harm. Ask others their thoughts and opinions about your behavior.

3. Write down how your life would improve if you were to overcome this habit.

4. Follow the 12 step program.

5. Find a healthy replacement behavior such as exercising, reading, meditation, listening to music, dancing, hiking, visiting, crafting, art, performing, woodworking, gardening, etc.

6. Participate in an on-going support group.

7. Set goals with a counselor and report how you are doing on a regular basis.

Happiness Quiz

2011-05-05T18:37:00.000-07:00

Happiness Quiz

Answer yes or no

1. I have forgiven myself and others.

2. I feel peaceful and optimistic about the future. I am excited about what I will accomplish.

3. I feel loved by God and others. I feel there is an abundance of love in the world.

4. I feel confident about making decisions.

5. I feel a sincere desire for the happiness of others.

6. I seek to understand others feelings and point of view.

7. I look for opportunities to help others and contribute to society.

8. I say nice things about others.

9. I am kind and patient with others.

10. I am dependable. I do what I say I will do.

11. I focus on uplifting or clear thoughts.

12. I face trials calmly.

13. I am humble, but confident.

14. I am grateful for what I have in my life.

15. I do my best work.

16. I focus on whats most important first.

17. I set goals and make plans regularly.

18. I complete worthwhile tasks that I start.

How did you do?

How To Develop Good Character : A Humble Heart

2011-05-04T02:04:00.000-07:00

Personal character comes from within.

You can't intellectualize it or choose it as a situation arises. It has to already reside inside your heart.

If you have a good heart it will spring forth without effort.

How do you get this heart?

Have faith. Ask God for it with humility.

Seek an understanding of spirit and psychology.

Live with virtue.

Let the little things roll over you.

Be diligent in your responsibilities.

See people. Talk to people. Listen. Help out.

Dedicate your life to loving others.

Highlights From Tuesdays With Morrie Book Review

2011-05-02T01:21:00.000-07:00

For a long time before I read Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom I had a weekly girl's day out every Tuesday and we jokingly called it "Tuesdays with Morrie", so the book became dear to me before ever reading it.

I picked it up in an airport and read it on the plane home. It truly is a life-changing book.

Here is a summary of some of my favorite parts of the book:

Morrie danced by himself.

He used to go to this church in Harvard Square every Wednesday night for something called "Dance Free"....whatever music was playing, that's the music to which he danced. No one there knew he was a prominent doctor of sociology with years of experience as a college professor and several well-respected books. They just though he was some old nut.

He also went for a regular swim at the YMCA, but found he could no longer dress himself (he had contracted ALS), but the idea of quitting did not occur to Morrie.

"Do I wither up and disappear, or do I make the best of my time left?" he had asked himself.

He would not wither. He would not be ashamed of dying. Instead, he would make death his final project, the center point of his days. Since everyone was going to die, he could be of great value, right? He could be research. A human textbook. "Study me in my slow and patient demise. Watch what happens to me. Learn with me."

For all that was happening to him, his voice was strong and inviting, and his mind was vibrating with a million thoughts.

Morrie went to a friends funeral. He came home depressed. "What a waste," he said. "All those people saying all those wonderful things, and Irv never got to hear any of it."

Morrie had a better idea. He arranged to have his own "living funeral". Morrie cried and laughed with them.

"Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do"; "Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it"; "Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others"; "Don't assume that it's too late to get involved."

(While being interviewed by "Night-line" Morrie started to interview the interviewee)"Tell me something close to your heart," Morrie began..."Now tell me something about your faith."

(In return he told Ted Koppel)"I decided I'm going to live - or at least try to live- the way I want, with dignity, with courage, with humor, with composure."

(Morrie was very affectionate and always trying to feed his guests. Morrie's favorite guest was an old student (Mitch Albom) who visited him on Tuesdays.)"Have you found someone to share your heart with?" Morrie asked. "Are you giving to your community?"
"Are you at peace with yourself?"
"Are you trying to be as human as you can be?"

"So many people who come to visit me are unhappy." said Morrie.
Why?
"Well for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We're teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Most people can't do it."

"I may be dying, but I am surrounded by loving, caring souls."

(When alone, the old student(Mitch Albom) contemplated) People scoop up tabloids, devouring their gossip, I had always done the same. But now, for some reason, I found myself thinking about Morrie whenever I read anything silly or mindless. I kept picturing him there, counting his breath, squeezing out every moment with his loved ones, while I spent so many hours on things that meant absolutely nothing to me personally. Why did we bother with all the distractions? We give up days and weeks of our lives, addicted to someone elses drama.

Morrie, true to his words had developed his own culture- long before he got sick. Discussion groups, walks with friends, dancing to his music in the Harvard Square church. He started a project called Greenhouse, where poor people could receive mental health services. He read books, visited with colleagues, kept up with old students, wrote letters to distant friends. He took more time eating and looking at nature and wasted no time in front of TV sitcoms or "Movies of the Week." He had created a cocoon of human activities- conversation, interaction, affection- and his life was overflowing.

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

Morrie warned me that money is not the most important thing. He tells me I need to be fully "human."

The things that become more and more important to Morrie as the book goes on are nature, affection, love, compassion, others who suffer in the world, relationships, music, teaching others, forgiving himself and others, detaching himself from anything negative and focusing on peace and serenity.

He only allowed himself a few minutes in the morning to feel sorry about his situation and then that was over.

"They way to be more involved in your life while you're living is every day, have a little bird on your shoulder that asks,'Is today the day I die? Am I ready? Am I doing all I need to do? Am I being the person I want to be?" Strip away all the "stuff" and focus on the essentials. You might have to make room for some more spiritual things.

Family becomes more important, nature, relationships. Notice people. Acknowledge them. Be there for them. Don't let anyone fall through the cracks. Be fully present with others.

Accept ageing. Don't battle against getting older or you're always going to be unhappy, because it will happen anyhow. Accept who you are and revel in that. This is your time to be the age you are now. Find what is good and beautiful about the age you are now.

The closer he gets to good-bye, the more he seems to feel we are all creatures in the same forest. "The problem is that we don't believe we are as much alike as we are. Whites and blacks, Catholics and Protestants, men and women. If we saw each other as more alike, we might be very eager to join in one big human family in this world, and to care about that family the way we care about our own.

Think Positive Thoughts

2011-04-28T01:38:00.000-07:00

Love is the strongest power in the universe.

It is abundant and everywhere.

I need simply to humbly ask God for it and I will be filled with love and comfort.

Being fully human means devoting myself to loving others.

I believe in listening to my conscience, intuition, gut feeling and the guidance of God's loving spirit.

I have confidence in my ability to create joy and goodness around me.

I constantly forgive myself and others.

I believe that there are people everywhere who will help me achieve my goals.

What matters most: relationships, people, nature, faith, work, service, health, cleanliness

Wellness Lifestyle Quiz

2011-04-19T21:15:00.000-07:00

This is a wellness survey. Quiz yourself to see if you are living a healthy lifestyle.

1. Do you do one thing for yourself each day that you enjoy doing?

2. Do you hug or get a hug from at least one person a day from people you like?

3. Do you take at least one quiet break a day (to pray, read, meditate, relax)?

4. Do you have a hobby or interest that you really enjoy?

5. Do you belong to some social or activity group that meets at least once a month?

6. Do you ask people for help when you need it?

7. Do you do things for others?

8. Do you work hard every day to do and be your best?

9. Do you have someone you can talk to when you're troubled about something?

10. Do you look for opportunities to praise and compliment others?

11. Do you have a healthy liking for yourself?

12. When something doesn't go your way do you continue to think positively?

13. Do you remind yourself of your strong and good qualities from time to time?

14. Can you keep from worrying about something that you can't do anything about?

15. Are you able to talk about your feelings and emotions?

16. Do you enjoy your daily work and studies?

17. Do you try to resolve your differences with others?

18. Do you make a list and set priorities for the things you have to do the next day?

19. Do you set goals for yourself?

20. Do you exercise?

21. Do you eat a balanced diet?

22. Do you have a strong spiritual life and rely on prayer for help in dealing with things?

How did you do?

The Best Journals ( or Diaries )

2011-04-07T07:48:00.000-07:00

Journal writing can be very therapeutic.

A journal or diary can be used to get troubles out or to focus on the positives. It can be used to bring out ideas or thoughts on a particular issue or help us forget and let go. A journal can help to set goals and find your unique purpose. It can also help preserve memories for our future and future generations.

I have been an avid journal writer throughout my life and have tried a lot of different journals. If you really love your journal you are more likely to write in it.

There are many lovely journals available. Here are some that I have used in the past and have really liked (click on the photo for more information):

These journals look great too:

I have also used much larger journals which I really like as well, such as:

Happy writing!

Meaningful Activities

2011-04-04T23:40:00.000-07:00

My last post (overcoming depression) mentioned the importance of doing meaningful activities to enhance well-being.

But what exactly are meaningful activities?

Usually they include activities that have a purpose or a goal, but sometimes the goal can be to simply enjoy our amazing bodies and the world we live in. Sometimes they can be to care for others or care for our own health.

Here are some ideas:

Plan and prepare healthy and fun meals for yourself and others
Garden/landscape/work outdoors
Create art projects
Build something useful or decorative
Daily personal hygiene
De-clutter and clean your home
Get a job, or create one
Do your best at your job
Set goals for your job
Set personal achievement goals
Exercise daily: yoga, dance, aerobics, Pilate's, swim, bike,gym, tread mill, elliptical, weights
Join a local group or club that has discussions (books, politics, community, family, etc.)
Join a local recreational group (walking, climbing, skiing, adventures, etc.)
Run/take walks outdoors
Dance classes (salsa, ballroom)
Attend shows, concerts, community events
Go camping (hike, play in water, play camping games, boating)
Attend children's activities, events
Obtain a pet to care for and play with
Read fiction and non-fiction (spend time at the library)
Use facebook, twitter, blogs, email and other computer connections
Get a massage, or give one
Get a salon treatment
Go shopping
Donate to charity
Listen to audio books or CD programs
Read or watch the news and discuss it, get involved
Sing, join a choir
Play an instrument, practice
Volunteer in your community, organize something
Travel locally and long distances, share your stories
Entertain, host parties, have a pot luck
Parent your children
Stay in contact with extended family
Remember birthdays
Plan family reunions
Write, journal
Scrapbook
Play board games, card games, outdoor games or party games with others
Build something with wood
Sew
Go to the beach, snorkel
Watch TV or movies with others
Cuddle, sex, affection
Attend church
Pray, meditate

Any other ideas?

Overcoming Mild Depression

2011-04-03T21:17:00.000-07:00

I started this blog to remind myself of ways to live to keep on track with feeling good, because it is easy for me to get off track and then wonder why I'm mildly depressed.

I post about the advice I have collected, or advice that I have read about recently that has helped me be more happy. Writing helps me to remember the information I have learned. I also wanted to use this blog to share these ideas and insights with others who may also want some healthy lifestyle tips.

I think there are a lot of people who suffer from mild depression, and or anxiety more than will admit, so I hope my blog will help you (or help your "friend" wink wink) in some way. If I even help just one person than it will be worth it.

I scoured the Internet the other day for more blogs on my subject and I found this one.

I wanted to highlight some of my favorite points in Steve Mensing's blog about overcoming depression. He is author of the book: Your Emotional Power:Powerful Techniques to Optimize Your Emotions, Behavior, and Beliefs.

1. Stop the negative internal chant (try meditation).

2. Challenge negative beliefs (see things from a different perspective). Believe in hope.

3. Don't label yourself or think critically about yourself. Keep an open mind. Accept yourself as you are. Don't jump to conclusions, tell yourself that the jury is still out concerning who you are and what your future will be. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Be yourself with no apologies.

4. Sleep 7-8 hours a day.

5. Plan and commit to meaningful and pleasurable activities.

6. Improve your social skills and make plans with friends. Share your feelings. Sustain relationships even through the hard times. Join groups or clubs. Have long, deep conversations with people. Lighten up and laugh.

7. Make sure you are receiving the necessary vitamins, minerals and calories you need. Get more information here. He also suggests eating high protein foods with low carbs early in the day along with omega-3 supplements.

8. Get some light, either by getting outside, working next to a window or purchasing a light box (winter).

9. Slow down. Work your life out so you are enduring less stress (doing less). Avoid workaholism.

10. Be assertive so other people don't control you, use you or walk on you. Stand up for yourself and what you want and need. Don't carry out other people's agendas for your life. Face your fears.

11. Get professional help to deal with past traumas or addictions that are still affecting you.

12. Have a purpose. Figure out what goals you want to achieve and go for them.

13. Have a weekly exercise program.

14. Figure out what is important, meaningful and pleasurable to you and incorporate those things into your life.

15. Work on your relationships and have a healthy sex life.

16. Forgive everyone.

17. Appreciate what you have.

18. Get medical care that you need for any illness, aches or pains that are bothering you.

These drug-free activities can be just as, or more effective than medication for depression.

It should be noted that sometimes you may not feel like being social, exercising, eating healthy food, being assertive or being sexual, but that doesn't mean it isn't good for you and will make you feel better overall. Learn to like what is good for you and you'll come out smiling.

Kindness on the Subway : Pass It On

2011-03-31T21:27:00.000-07:00

Today's Kindness Thursday is not about me.

It is about what I witnessed the other day while riding on the subway. I was standing near my husband who was holding our squirming daughter in his arms. The subway was crowded and no seats were available.

After a few minutes a Korean man stood up and offered his coveted seat to our daughter. This was an unusual and completely unexpected kindness.

I could see that the gesture affected my husband. He felt so relieved to have her sitting. Minutes later a blind, homeless woman came walking through our subway car begging (this was not unusual). No one was giving her money, but I saw my husband reach in his pocket and offer what he had.

I felt that perhaps the kindness that was shown to him earlier, softened his heart to give to others.

We can do the same thing in our lives. When people are nice to you, pass it on. This tends to occur naturally, as we do nice things for others they are more likely to be kind to the people they encounter in their life.

Lets see how much goodness we can spread around the world.

The Simple Formula For Happiness and Peace

2011-03-30T18:28:00.000-07:00

1. Read something inspiring and uplifting every morning.

2. Humbly connect with the power of love (God/spirit) through prayer and meditation: Hope Ask, Feel.

3. Take a day off of work each week and spend quiet time with your family.

4. Seek advice from wise and inspirational teachers and good examples (take a class, read books, articles, blogs, magazines, & audio lectures)

5. Choose right actions.

6. Use words wisely and affectively to lift others and show interest.

7. Treat all people well, but especially your own family and friends.

8. Be faithful and loving to your spouse.

9. Be honest.

10. Be content and grateful.

11. Work hard.

12. Eat healthy.

13. Give generously to people in need.

14. Obey the law.

15. Serve people (visit friends, volunteer)

16. Teach others what you have learned about life, love and happiness.

Inspirational, Motivational and Funny Stickers

2011-03-28T21:40:00.000-07:00

(Click on the links to see sticker pictures)

This is the bumper sticker on the back of our Mazda 5. I put it on my car to make my husband smile.

And yes- I know we need a car-wash.

The point of my post is that stickers are not just for kids. They can be used to lift someones spirits, to remind us of what is important or to inspire and motivate.

I have also just ordered this sticker. It is clever, but at the same time gets the message across. Bumper stickers may not be for your new sports car, but if you have an older car or a family mobile it can let others know your thoughts on issues or make people laugh (clue: SNL) and lighten up.

There are other uses for stickers also. You can use stickers to make a child smile or teach them things.

You can put a sticker on a mirror or notebook to remind you of a positive affirmation or a favorite quote. You can also put thoughtful stickers in cards to give to people.

You can also use them for reward charts. Letting a child put a sticker on a reward chart is a reward in and of itself.

This is kind of a fun idea - customize your family to tell others about who you are.

Whatever sticker you choose it will guarantee to help you feel like a kid again, and the great thing is that stickers are cheap and fun.

Help For A Child Who Can't Sleep or Has Experienced Trauma

2011-03-27T18:36:00.000-07:00

I know how it feels.

We have had two children who have had trouble sleeping and have experienced trauma, so I know first hand the feelings of helplessness.

When our second-oldest son was very young he developed a blood disease called ITP which lasted for two years. He had to endure long painful treatments at the hospital several times a month to keep him alive.

He was deathly afraid of going to the hospital and he started becoming fearful of everything: the dark, windows, basements, TV shows, amusement park rides, water, etc. He couldn't get to sleep at night and we didn't know how to help him.

Several years later we adopted a little girl from a Russian orphanage. She had gone through terrible trauma being separated from her mother, neglected at the orphanage and moved to a new country where no one spoke her language.

Someone (an angel) recommended a CD to us called the Inside-Out Sleep game.

This CD was a lifesaver for our daughter. The voice on the CD is calming and comforting. You play it at night after you put your child to bed and it helps them feel safe and it puts them right to sleep. Our daughter requests it over and over. I wish I had also known about this when our son was little, so I am passing on this information to you in hopes that it will help another family who has a child in need of a little extra comfort.

Kindness Thursday: Attend Your Child's Special Events, Or Else

2011-03-24T10:03:00.000-07:00

Number 47 from my list of Random Acts of Kindness says: Attend events that loved ones are involved in.

This may or may not go along with number 115: Support your kids in what they like.

Sometimes your kids are involved in things that they don't like, but you should probably support those things anyway.

I have been trying to do better in this area.

My oldest son who does not love to sing was involved in a school choir performance at his high school. He had two performances at the start of the show and then one performance at the end.

He told us that he would understand if we didn't want to sit through the whole show and wanted to leave after his first two performances. There was a movie playing that night at the movie theater nearby that we wanted to attend, so we took him up on that offer.

It was a mistake. I realized as I was sitting in the movie theater that all of the other families would be greeting their children after the show and taking them home with them. They would say complimentary words and maybe even take their child out for a treat.

My child walked home alone.

I tried to make up for it the next day, but it was too late.

So I have been trying to do better.

For one thing- I hate basketball. It is not entertaining to me and it gives me anxiety to watch my kid's team lose. Close games are torture to me. I have to look away.

So I let my husband attend most of my kid's basketball games, but this last game, was my 11-year-old's final game and my husband was not available to attend, so it was left to me. I bravely took my son to his championship game. They were favored to win. It was supposed to be a sure thing, but I watched in devastation as they lost.

I had to watch almost all of his team mates in tears after the game. It was like a horror movie to me. Still, I felt good about myself for being there to support him. I knew it made a difference to him and I was there to cheer him up when it was all over.

I also recently volunteered to read to my daughter's classroom. This is scarier to do than you think. I mean - they are kindergartners, come on. But you have the teacher staring at you and expecting you to keep these kids in rapt attention. Was my voice shaking? Anyway, I got through it and my daughter felt very proud and special to have her mom come to her class.

Sometimes supporting kids can be difficult, but it is important to them and really does make a difference.

Organic Products: How To Not Get Ripped Off by Greenwashing

2011-03-22T18:34:00.000-07:00

I was really disturbed (shocked!) by a video I just saw on Canada's Consumer Watchdog site: Marketplace. The video doesn't just apply to Canadians, but every where.

I can't embed it, but you can watch it here.

Apparently most organic and natural labels mean: NOTHING.

I already knew that natural products didn't mean organic, but I thought that if the label said organic or natural that it had to mean something. Apparently not.

I took some advertising classes in college and the stuff they were teaching us seemed really wrong. They invade people's privacy, they deceive, they manipulate, they flatter, etc. They learn how to look trustworthy, so that they can con you out of your money.

So how can we be informed shoppers?

Read labels- are the ingredients really natural? Avoid parabens, siloxanes, sodium laureth sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, and hydrofluorocarbons.

Be aware that organic hydrosols or aqueous extracts are mostly just water and are used to water down products.

Best advice: Look for seals from the Natural Products Association, EcoCert and the USDA which mean the product meets stringent standards.

Research the companies first. Do this before heading out to the store. Support the companies that hold to the same values you hold.

Not always, but often, the bigger the company, the more shady the company.

There is one resource that I purchased in 2007 which has really helped me in making wise shopping choices.

It looks like I need to purchase their newer 2010 version as the green market has evolved and changed over the last 4 years. This became quite apparent to me after watching that video.

The book gives a letter grade to each company. It tells you which companies to support and which to avoid and why. Here is the link to the book I am referring to. Read the reviews on Amazon and see for yourself.

Click HERE: The Better World Shopping Guide: Every Dollar Makes A Difference

How To Get Through A Bad Experience

2011-03-21T19:13:00.000-07:00

Take control of your anxiety over a bad experience, by applying these 7 simple steps.

1. Write down, think about or discuss all of the ways you could look at this differently, from a positive perspective.

2. Think of a plan. Do at least one action to try to fix the problem the best you can. If it helps than great, if it doesn't, let it go. Realize there are many things out of your control. Accept the things you can not control. Do not try to control people or tell people what to do. Only take responsibility for your half of the relationship, whether it be with an organization, business, or individual. Be your best self.

3. Learn from your mistakes. If you realize you made a mistake or wish you would have responded differently and you can't do anything about it now, determine to act differently next time. Plan to handle things better in the future.

4. Learn what is the best way to proceed from this point on. Move forward with your life. Don't let it drag you down.

5. Talk with someone you trust about what happened. It might help to get it off your chest and they might have some insights that you didn't think about. Also it is nice to have a listening ear. Prayer might also help you.

6. Allow yourself to feel bad for a certain predetermined period and then send the memory of the event back to the past where it belongs. Shift gears in your mind and focus forward with hope.

7. Create a vision board for your present and future. Don't dwell on past experiences that are over. Create a new vision for yourself.

Seeking for Spirituality: The Seekers Guide by Lesser

2011-03-21T00:20:00.000-07:00

The Seekers Guide by Elizabeth Lesser was recommended to me, so I thought I would give it a try. The book claims to "honor your unique religious roots, your need for discipline and morals, and your desire to belong to a community of fellow seekers."

The book is not simple or clear cut, but deep and soul searching. You have to struggle with this book like you might struggle to find God in your life. Instead of giving you all the answers, the book wants you to answer the spiritual questions yourself by following your heart. The book teaches you to work out your own salvation before God and to follow your hearts promptings. I didn't agree with everything in the book, but there were a lot of valuable lessons, including the following:

America's brash materialism and excessive individualism often seem at odds with the spiritual impulse. How do I make daily life a meaningful spiritual adventure? By turning my attention to self-understanding and self-forgiveness. My spiritual goal is to be my most vibrant, peaceful, and grateful self, not to be right or to control others. It is to have a changed inner-heart that radiates outward.

The author teaches to use your own inner longing as your spiritual compass. Slow down, quiet the mind and allow yourself to hunger and thirst towards the abundant well of spiritual longing. It is human nature to hunger for the sacred.

She instructs us to unravel the garden-variety twine that is wrapped tightly around our hearts and minds.

Open your mind by experiencing many different cultures and learning about their religious traditions. Value every person equally.

In her 20's the author joined a community of saints that set themselves apart from the world. Singing and dancing were part of the spiritual rituals, as well as study, meditation, prayer and right behavior. They studied sacred texts, worshiped with each other on Sunday, adhered to a strict moral code that set to secure marriages and families (as early Americans had done in the founding years of the country). Straight living, hard work and daily prayer were important. They shared their possessions with everyone equally. They gave themselves unselfishly to family and community. Selfless service and dutiful work ethic were vital. They farmed, cooked, delivered and raised babies, repaired and built homes, etc. "Put your hands to work and your hearts to God" was the motto. For her, the path to God centered around children.

But then she felt there was something missing. She realized that she wasn't happy. She felt that she had completely cut herself off from the real world. She wanted to know if she could live her spiritual ways into a regular daily life. She realized that she couldn't be the perfect wife and mother. Something was going to give. In her search for another spiritual path she found that many who call themselves spiritual seekers are so irrational and hold so rigidly to their beliefs, that it is like they are trying to win a competition. She advises people to respect personal resistances as acquired opinions, not sacred truths.

We do not see things as they are. We see them as we are.
--The Talmud

She found that it was erroneous to separate spirituality from everyday life. While spirituality is about bliss, it is also about balance. Without some degree of sacrifice for the greater good, spiritual self-discovery eventually leads to plain old self-indulgence.

Spirituality is an attitude of fearlessness...a growing acceptance of life on its own terms. A humility that we acknowledge what we do not know.

When we have an overload of information we tend to speculate and exaggerate and treat it as knowledge. Admitting that we don't know something doesn't come easy. Voicing innocence and a sense of wonder is difficult for us. However, it is often wiser to say, "God knows, I do not know." Better to admit not knowing and to relax in the mystery of life than to try to force our minds (speculate or add our own opinion) where they can't (and maybe shouldn't) go. Be patient to all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions. Be always ready to receive light and knowledge from heaven, but don't make stuff up based on what you think.

To long for peace or God or spirituality is quite natural. We pretend to be fine, strong, smart, hip, amused, or disinterested even when we are not. Most of us have become habituated to hiding our weakness and wonder. We construct brilliant masks. Revealing to ourselves and others our deep and soulful longings, our fear and sadness, our joy and wonder is the critical step on the spiritual path. Our spiritual longing is a gravitational pull in the direction of wholeness and truth. When we acknowledge that we don't know everything, the path home lights up from within.

Spirituality is an attitude toward everything- a daily choosing of a way to approach the different textures of life.

We live in a culture that is seriously split off from the nourishing pace and values of soul. Consider how you relate to family and friends. How is the health of your community? How is your personal health? How is the health of your environment? How do your children spend their time?

Our culture has also improved with time, such as with women's rights and other freedoms. We need to learn how to include the new freedoms and diversity while we transcend the bad in our modern world.

We need to let go of an unforgiving and judgmental attitudes towards family, friends and strangers. We need to let go of our blind faith in scientific progress. We need to stop our compulsive striving for material gain. We need to let go of the lack of community and civility in daily life. We need to slow down.

Americans often avoid the discipline work of real spirituality though an unrealistic and wasteful pursuit of shallow happiness. There's a disturbing underbelly of spiritual materialism in the plethora of self-help literature and spiritual-growth programs available today, so much so that it can appear that Americans' spiritual inclinations mimic our love of fast food and superhighways. Avoid anything that offers a quick fix, magical cure or eternal youth...anything that sounds like superstition. Do not cheat yourself on the spiritual path. Give yourself time and patience in pursuit of the truth. Spirituality takes hard work and the grace of God.

Rules of thumb:
Daily positive affirmations will probably not cure your cancer.
Thinking positively will not keep you from harm.
If you don't always get what you ask for when you pray it doesn't mean that you are praying wrong or that you lack faith. Learning to pray correctly for what you need, doesn't mean you will get it.
Only focusing on self-improvement will not heal society. We have to participate in the improvement of more than just ourselves (this does not mean be controlling, but rather be involved in social awareness and volunteering)
Your genes play a part in your personality. It is a myth that you can completely overcome those tendencies through study and faith. You can improve, but you can never entirely escape your gene pool, so stop beating yourself up.
Never blindly trust a spiritual leader who has double standards.

Your best guide is your own alert mind and sensitive heart.

We enter the realm of the sacred through prayer, meditation and right living. This realm already exists inside of our own hearts. Maslow observed that individuals who were the most healthy psychologically and spiritually had first satisfied their lower motivations - shelter, food, a source of income, etc. and moved up the hierarchy of needs. We must meet our lower needs first.

The author acknowledges that sometimes spirituality isn't enough. Sometimes prayer and study doesn't solve all of our problems and she suggests using a therapist in this case. Sometimes we lack the knowledge that we need to fix our problems and a therapist can help with this.

In therapy, we might learn for the first time that all relationships are difficult, that women expect a kind of communication from men that is rarely possible, and that we need to practice disciplined love and acceptance. We also need to unlearn some of the illusions and myths we have been telling ourselves over the years. Therapy can help you bring out the best female traits (relational, open, sustainable, nurturing, love, courage, wise, feeling, compassion, connections) and male traits (leader, achieve, invent, independent, visionary, build, steady, rational, intelligent) that are in all of us.

We need to be both powerful and loving, clearheaded and openhearted in order for our voices to be heard and to make a difference. We need to have inner-self confidence so that we can send our energy outwards to others.

In spirituality we need to look for ways to control our thoughts. Meditation and guided relaxation practices can help with this. We need to fall in love with the present (whatever life gives us). This helps us get through the rough times with more grace, stability and dignity. Stop struggling with whatever occurs.

Reduce stress in your life. Do you need to take on that project? Do you really need the income? Could you make do with less "stuff"? Most people's lives would benefit from some degree of simplification. Do you want to have more time for your kids? Do you want enough creative energy to make your home one that nurtures bodies and souls? Can you put down the burden of an overextended life? The point is not to get rid of so much stress that you are bored and boring, but to find that balance.

Diet and exercise are often the simplest and most effective anti-anxiety agents available.

When we pay attention to how we react to situations we learn something about ourselves. Do we project our anger on to others? Maybe it is time to take a break. We need to learn to sit in the chaos of life.

Seek for the rapture of feeling alive. The goal is an awakened heart that feels everything there is to feel. We don't shut down or walk away when the feelings get troublesome. We stay and walk through it- we don't pull back.

Don't worry about what the world wants from you. Worry about what makes you more alive. Your real job is to increase the color and zest of your life. Let yourself be drawn to what you really love. Forgive yourself for your shortcomings.

Stop projecting your lack of fulfillment onto other people and take your life into your own hands. Stop blaming other people and take responsibility for your own life.

Getting what you want does not mean having everything your way. We are fundamentally good and we want things for ourselves as well as for others. This means that we enjoy sacrificing for others as well as getting what we want. Making others happy is also our happiness.

Life is an opportunity to satisfy the hunger and thirst of the soul, but we shouldn't try to fill it with food, drink, drugs, sex or television. These things can never truly fulfill us. A hungry heart is a tender heart that stays open to the full experience of life. It is fearless. The opposite of happiness is a fearful, closed heart.

Trust in the your own values and be strong, don't waver. Have inner strength and courage.

When we don't get along with someone than that person becomes our spiritual path. Ask yourself what it is about that person that irritates or repels you, or perhaps its a group or organization that you despise. (It can also be bad if you idealize people or organizations to an extreme.) Do you try to control the people you don't get along with or who bug you? Do you feel superior to them? Working on this relationship is a priority for your spirituality. Take it slow. Learn to love.

Even as you change and become more understanding and heart-full, there will continue to be difficult people in your life, people who refuse to work on improving relationships. Take responsibility for your own part and let the other go. Sometimes you might have to walk away, not in anger, but in truth. We do need to sacrifice for others, but not at the expense at our own self-dignity.

Seek after the life that you feel good about. If you aren't feeling good about some aspect of your life then figure out how you can get back on the right path. Seek a life that sits well with your conscience. A life that helps you to grow, helps others, and creates a healthy, beautiful you, inside and out.

15 Best Board Games For Family Fun And Happiness

2011-03-17T23:04:00.000-07:00

Sometimes its hard to plan activities that the whole family wants to do together.

Watching TV is usually successful, but many families would like something more interactive. There are usually expensive activities out in the community, but the beauty of board games is that you can keep playing them week after week for free.

We have a family game night every Sunday and my kids really notice if we miss it. We have purchased a lot of games, so I will tell you which games we like the best.

Funglish (We found this is much more fun if you turn the timer over twice)

WaveLength

Scrabble

Sorry

Clue

Pass The Bomb

Yahtzee

Pictionary

Ticket To Ride

Buzz Word

Compatibility

Apples to Apples

Cranium

True Colors

Trivial Pursuit

Of course this is not a comprehensive list as one family can't buy all the games in the world, but we have bought plenty of games that we didn't like and never get any play time. The games on this list get a constant rotation. Please be aware that they are not for very young children. Sometimes we have to give our youngest child something to do while the rest of the family plays.

Two games that are on my wish list are:

Settlers of Catan

Puerto Rico

Games are supposed to bring family togetherness and fun, but perhaps you haven't had success with your family board game sessions. When I was clicking around I found this inexpensive ebook ($3.95):
10 Best Board Games For Family Fun And Happiness which is supposed to give tips on how to make the most out of your family board game time. I haven't read it, but it might have some good ideas.

What are your favorite games?

Using Green Reusable Shopping Bags and Water Bottles

2011-03-17T06:43:00.000-07:00

Since it's St. Patrick's Day I was looking around my house for something green and found my stack of green reusable shopping bags that I always leave right by the front door.

This was perfect for Kindness Thursday because using reusable shopping bags is on my list of Random Acts of Kindness. Using these bags contributes to kindness for the earth, the oceans, and all life on the planet. I have friends who also use reusable shopping bags, but they complain that they always forget to bring them when they go shopping. By keeping the bags by the door it is easier to remember.

Using reusable shopping bags is not less convenient, it is more convenient. The bags are sturdier, they can contain more items at once and you aren't left with a million plastic trash bags to dispose of.

Some people say you can reuse the plastic bags for your small trash can liners, but the amount of trash bags that can be generated in a year of shopping are way more than a household could ever fill with trash. I find that even when I am vigilant about using the reusable bags there are always times when an unexpected purchase here and there generates enough plastic bags for me to use as trash can liners in my home.

I thought about what else I do to be more GREEN on this St. Patrick's Day and I thought of my recently purchased (BPA-free) reusable water bottle. It helps me cut out drinking bottled water. Disposable plastic water bottles are a big problem for the environment, your health, and your pocketbook, see here. When my husband and kids drag me to fast food restaurants I can at least bring along my reusable water bottle.

I realized that this bottle had another benefit- I drink more water. Drinking more water is actually on the Random Acts of Kindness list also. I suppose this is because you are being kind to yourself. As you care for your own health you are also caring for the people around you who depend on you for their care and for those who care for you.

All in all- a great Green St. Patrick's Day so far.

Your Life's Purpose: Insights from A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

2011-03-15T23:05:00.000-07:00

A few months ago a friend of mine gave me the book, "A New Earth: Awaken To Your Life's Purpose" because she wanted to know what I thought about it. My friend is one who can not resist reading the latest and greatest best-sellers and wanted someone to talk with about them.

On my first reading of the book I was curious to find out exactly what the author thought my life's purpose was. I skimmed through many pages with no mention of "purpose" until finally there was something in the last chapter that said if you live the teachings in the book your life purpose will be made known to you.

How stupid, I thought and I left the book unread for a long time.

I am not sure what prompted me to pick it up again, but this time I started at the beginning, digesting each chapter slowly and thoughtfully. I was surprised that many of the ideas in this book also appeared in a workbook I owned called "The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook". Even though the ideas were similar the main difference was that Eckhart Tolle's writing style was hypnotic, beautiful, and healing.

This was my first introduction to Eastern religious ideas. Although, at the time of my reading I didn't know where his ideas had come from. Many Christians do not like this book, stating that it is preaching counterfeit religion. To me; however, taking stress reduction principles and tying them together with spirit and God is not counterfeit. In fact everything in the universe is tied together with spirit and God so why not this too?

I jotted down some notes as I was reading and I will share those with you, then you can see if this book is for you. I realize that there are many different things you can get out of this book and one person might get a completely different message than someone else, so please realize that this is not anywhere near comprehensive or complete:

A New Earth: Awakening To Your Life's Purpose

Our natural, unchecked self, or in other words, our ego is fault-finding, critical, judgemental, etc. It believes that other people and situations and circumstances are never good enough. Our ego has rigid and stubborn beliefs and opinions. It lives through comparison. It is right and others are wrong if they don't share the same beliefs, opinions and actions. It always feels superior to some and inferior to others.

In order to separate ourselves from this ego we need a change of consciousness. We need to connect with others on a deeper level. We need to live in the present moment, pay attention to what is happening right now and be accepting in our hearts of whatever that is. This doesn't mean that our minds can't assess situations and work to improve them, it just means that our hearts and inner courage are welcoming to whatever comes into our lives (be it good or ill). We are not in a state of constant dissatisfaction, but of inner peace and equilibrium. We are accepting and loving to all.

When we are in the present moment and aware, we are in touch with our inner bodies health. We are living in a walking meditation devoid of painful, repetitive thoughts. We use our minds for awareness and not for brooding. We change our thoughts to a peaceful quietness.

Tolle advocates separating who we are with our bodies (our looks, age, weight, talents, image, clothes, house, car). When we associate with an identity we have to work really hard to maintain it in our minds and actions. Our identity often relies on a never ending stream of money. In reality having an identity makes us lose track of who we really are. Detach yourself from image and things. Heal yourself from the more, more, more disease.

Don't react to the dysfunctional ego in others. Walk away and be silent if you need to. Recognize it in others, expect it, accept it and don't react to it. Say what needs to be said calmly or say nothing in response. Stick to the facts. Simply say how you feel as a matter of fact, not complaining/whining. Admit that you are creating your own suffering through your thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and opinions. Let them know you need some time alone if necessary. Don't pretend to be feeling anything, but what you feel. Forgive easily because it isn't about them. Your job is to accept circumstances and people that you can't change. Your job is not to try to control people or situations.

Being aware of your ego is the whole battle. Knowing it is there helps to deflate it. Have genuine relationships with others through alert attention. Listen. You don't have to agree. Let go of being right. Don't use other people for your gain. Keep your voice calm. Don't criticize, find fault, complain or gossip. Don't take anything personally that others say. When others need to be right, stay quiet. Opposing them makes them more defiant.

Humility and acknowledgement that you don't know things is everything. Goodness is connection with self, others and the earth through inner feeling and rejecting the ego. Goodness is non-reaction. Pay attention to the present moment as you read, garden, visit, cook, clean, work and learn.

When you are unhappy say to yourself, "There is unhappiness in me. I create suffering in myself through my thoughts, beliefs and attitude." You don't need other people's approval. Unhappiness is an ego-created emotional disease.

Focus your attention and energy outward. Don't try to suck attention to you. Don't try to be special or loud in behavior or dress. People try to suck attention from others because it gives them a temporary boost, but lasting peace only comes from within and through God's spirit. Never feel superior or inferior.

Don't repeat thoughts that create pity parties or allow yourself to be a victim of others or of circumstances. Accept whatever comes and transcend it, by focusing on the present moment (not worrying about the past or future- all bad situations are fleeting in the present moment).

Don't expect others to lift me up. Lift myself up with God's spirit. To receive God's spirit, just ask for it. It comes through prayer/meditation and an open mind and heart.

Don't try to control other people's behavior. Respect others free will and agency. Give everyone equal respect. Don't label people, only label your thoughts. There was an anger thought. There goes a judgemental thought. etc.

Love is recognizing that we are all the same- children of God and none are superior than others. We are all equal. The light in me acknowledges the light in you. We need to work together to take care of the earth and its people and not to see ourselves as separate or elitist. Become an agent of change. Use your talents to make a difference. Be fearless.

Be enthusiastic, spontaneous and smiling in the present moment. Be fully present with other people. Enjoy life!

For Moms Who Need Support

2011-03-13T23:37:00.000-07:00

Are you tired of pretending that everything is fine? I have been tired of my pretend smile when people greet me with one child on my hip, one in the stroller and another hanging on my leg. A few words might be exchanged like, "It sure looks like you've got your hands full!" and I would nod and smile.

There might be some eye rolling and jokes, but over all I was handling my kids just fine. The truth is that if this had been any other job I would have quit a long time ago. The more I talked to other moms of young children in private, the more I began to realize that there was a great big sadness that everyone was hiding.

What I began to learn was that there was a secret misery in young motherhood that the mothers themselves didn't see coming. I am not talking about mere post-partum depression. I am talking about depression for years and years. I would talk to moms whose last child was finally entering school full-time and they would whisper, "It's like emerging from a dark cave." SHHHHHHH!

Honestly, there were many days I felt abused by my own kids. It was disappointing to me to discover that research was not being done on the chronic abuse of mothers by their normal children. Research admitted that young mothers were largely depressed, but this only seemed to matter to the extent it affected the children. Such as the following: How Maternal Depression Affects Children or Reducing Maternal Depression and Its Impact on Young Children. It seemed that the concern about motherhood depression was only significant because the kids could be affected. What about how it was affecting the mothers???

A more recent study (2010) brings Dad into the picture: Incidence of Maternal and Paternal Depression in Primary Care. The study found that both parents experienced depression in the early years, but by far more mothers than fathers. The study determined that 39 percent of mothers experience depression during the time when their children are young. Parents who had an earlier history of depression, who had children at a relatively young age or who had lower incomes were at highest risk for depression during their parenting years. The incidence rates of depression among parents in the study were higher than those reported for the general population from the same database.

I want you to know that I UNDERSTAND. I have been there. I also want you to know that YOU matter...Not because of what you do for your kids, but because of YOU. You are not your kids. Your kids are not more important than you. You are not invisible. It's time to take back your life. Your children are not royalty and you, their servant or slave. We can get through this hard time together. We can share with others what has worked well for us. We may even be able to get a glimpse of the girl we used to be.

This blog can help. Click on the START tab and find the articles that pertain to your needs.

Japan's Earthquake: A Gift From The Sea?

2011-03-13T18:44:00.000-07:00

Today, I was planning on reviewing the book, "Gift from the Sea" by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, but in light of the Japan earthquake and tsunami it felt more like "Death and Destruction from the Sea", so I changed course.

Many know that I currently live in South Korea, an hours flight from Japan. We fly through there whenever we travel anywhere and we have recently traveled throughout Japan as well. So it hits close to home.

Although I didn't feel the message from Anne Morrow Lindbergh's book was quite what I needed to write about today, I did ponder if in fact there were some lessons (or gifts) from this tragedy in Japan.

I realize that looking for the good in this situation is easy for me to say. I am sure that anyone who interviews the survivors who have lost family members (brothers, sisters, children, parents, grandparents, etc.) and all of their possessions including their homes would be hard-pressed to find any bright spot. Many of the survivors have also experienced tremendous fear, hunger, and cold that lasted hours or even days.

Still, there are tiny sunflowers that grow in the cracks of the sidewalk and this is what I am looking for.

The first thing that comes to mind is the world's generosity to help out. On CNN I saw lists of countries all over the world who were offering thousands of dollars of aid. I am comforted by the fact that world leaders are willing to help each other in time of need. I have also seen many videos of heroism among those who went there to rescue people. Many courageous acts have been done by many in an attempt to rescue and help others. I also saw much affection and care given to the survivors by other survivors and rescue personnel.

I am sure there will be a united effort among the people to join together in rebuilding the area. Sometimes tragedy is what is needed to bring people together and make things better than they were before.

But I think the most important gift of this tragedy are the lessons learned. I realized a few things. One is that tragedy could strike at any time, so we shouldn't be holding too tightly to our manufactured lives and all of the possessions that we surround ourselves with. In the end, we are left with just ourselves and who we are- alone, naked. What are we worth when all of our possessions have been stripped away? What a waste of time to gather material possessions to build us up and make us feel better than others.

The next lesson is the value of relationships. Most of us would save our family members before any of our possessions, even if we were to lose paperwork or business documents that would hurt us financially. How much worse would we feel if we lost a child, than if we lost our business? Yet we often don't make relationships a priority.

I have also been reflecting on our detachment from the natural world. In our lives we distance ourselves from everything natural. We deny death. We often ignore when other people or animals suffer, just glad that it isn't us. We don't really care as long as it doesn't affect us personally at this moment. We don't learn about the land we live on or respect nature above man-made achievements. We don't listen to the earth. We don't try to live in-tune with it. We block it out with all of our man-made packaging, buildings, roads and sidewalks. We pretend that we aren't mammals that live on this natural planet and are largely influenced by our own biology and the weather, the sea, the animals, the people, the land, the trees and plants. We get ulcers and cancer from the stress and the bad food/water and the chemicals and the potentially harmful energy that pervades our polluted air from cell phones to microwaves to Internet. We eat food that was never intended to be digested by humans. Who knows? It might all be harmless, but maybe not.

We make money, prestige, power, possessions, buildings, transportation, rules, control, judgements, opinions, etc. our goal and our eyes are so narrow we can't see who we really are. We think we are superior, in charge and in control. As we gather enough false protections we imagine that we are safe and powerful, when in fact we are not in charge. Then when the earth reminds us that it is in charge and we are at its mercy we are surprised.

We don't honor the miracle of people, animals, the land, vegetation and the sea. We trash them and use them as stepping stones up the ladder towards an illusive goal that doesn't deliver. Its an illusion. Instead of honoring the earth and realizing that we are at its mercy, we ignore it and make it more volatile.

I believe that God created the natural world and we are born here naked and wild. We are civilized as children, which I think is important, but then we emphasize and praise things that ultimately destroy.

How can we be more in-tune? Simplify. Build homes that respect nature and incorporate nature. Stop buying stuff. Get rid of your clutter. See what you can live without. Get down to the core of life. Learn about your own biology and the geography of your area. Learn about natural, healthy, local, organic food. Care about the illegal killing of animals/sea life and destroying of rain forests. Care about modern day slavery and human rights. Use natural home remedies for minor medical problems instead of throwing over-the-counter medications at everything. Take local trips to national parks. Notice nature. Notice people. Learn about potential natural disasters in your area and have an emergency preparedness plan. Learn how to completely survive out in the wilderness if you had to. Use natural, organic products on your body such as soaps, shampoos, lotions, makeup, etc. Use natural products to clean your house. Purchase used clothes or clothes made from organic cotton or other natural products. Grow a garden and learn all about gardening. Learn about the planet, the stars, the oceans, the universe. Respect the earth, care for it, learn from it. Develop your internal self more than your external self. Help others. Listen to others. Use your talents. Build your character. Face your fears. Connect with people. Love people. Connect with God within yourself and in the outer mystery of the universe.

These are all qualities and actions that I need to work on and I have been pondering about since the earthquake. The material world, the fake world that we have manufactured and constructed may seem more exciting, but it is not real life. It is an illusion, a game that we have invented. It is something the advertising agencies have brainwashed us into believing is real and desirable. In the end, nature will win. Why not get through life healthy and happy, rather than stressed and sick? We need to slow down and think about what we do every day. Are we in touch with ourselves, others and our world? Or are we detached? Separated from reality? Surrounded by fake materialism?

Just some things to ponder. Any other thoughts?

Note: If you would like to send a donation to help the people in Japan, choose from one of the reputable charities here.