How To Lose Girls

Lose The Fight = Lose The Girl

The Sysop — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 09:00:14 +0000

Does this sound too familiar? Another boring date where all she wants to do is ask you a million questions about yourself… to “get to know more about you.” But then anytime you ask her a question about her favorite trilogy (LOTR? Star Wars? Matrix? Bourne? Godfather? MadMax? Back to the Future?), she [...]

I Can See Clearly Now

The Sysop — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 15:11:29 +0000

That time of the month again? When your lady says she’s bored of your Wii-kend Mario Kart marathons, and insists that the two of you need to leave the house and do something? Worse yet, do something “cultural” ? More like cult-ural. Why not lose her and live your life the way you [...]

Bull in her China Cabinet

Silvio Margarine — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 09:00:24 +0000

Have you ever looked at a china cabinet and just wanted to ram into it at full speed? Yeah me too. If you really want to lose girls, and lose them fast, organize a tea party at your lady’s house. Once all her friends are seated and enjoying their nice biscottis: Stand up Put down your cup and saucer Begin mouthing [...]

Dress You Up In My Love

The Sysop — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 09:00:07 +0000

If she laughs at your suggestion that she might want to try dressing up like the Princess from Super Mario Bros in order to spice things up, then you might want to ask yourself, “What other fantasies hath been denied to me? How To Lose Girls Dudes, Help Me.” Sure thing, Boba. Tell her: “Baby, [...]

You can Only Lose Girls Once you Stop Trying to Lose Them

Silvio Margarine — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:00:11 +0000

If you are constantly trying fads that should help you lose girls like: poppin your collar, a second coat of gel to get your spikes mad firm, and overt remarks about roofies, then you will only attract the girls even more. It may sound stupid but you have to stop caring about losing them. Even try [...]

How To Lose Your Waitress

Silvio Margarine — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 14:00:04 +0000

If your waitress is being too friendly, here’s a way to make sure she doesn’t pester you for your phone number. First, flirt a little bit.. to throw her off. Tell her about your awesome money collection, or how your Lithuanian sports car has an engine with over 1200 donkeypower per cubic deciliter (don’t worry [...]

I am Jack’s Wasted Sarcasm

Silvio Margarine — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 09:00:19 +0000

Be funny. Really funny. Remember that great line from Super Bad about how a gun is like a second cock? Well she doesn’t. Remember those hilarious jokes about a pile of dead babies that were circulating in the early 90’s? She doesn’t remember those either. But if you tell them to her, she’ll always remember why [...]

Tech Talk: Equals Equals D

The Sysop — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 18:54:31 +0000

If your girl can’t stop instant messaging you and interrupting your online world, why not choose to lose? All of her distractions (e.g. text messages, emails, dinner dates) keep you from working on and promoting your blog about Lego Leaders. If you could only get your blog up and running, get a few advertisers… [...]

Eye Contact

Silvio Margarine — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 18:01:15 +0000

One of the biggest mistakes made by the average guy is excessive eye contact. If you’re constantly listening to what a lady is saying and looking in her eyes, you have no chance of losing her. Next time you feel the urge to gaze into the windows to her soul, just look down at the ground and [...]

I do.

The Sysop — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 17:52:43 +0000

Wear a ring on your wedding finger that looks like a legit wedding band thing. Go to a crowded bar with some weak-ass mixed drinks, shiny shirts, and loads of women. Watch them all freak out. When the ladies are all hot and they’ve had enough freaking out, they will finally surrender to the fact that [...]