How To Lose Your Virginity
“Shechter’s movie, with a breezy, watchable, funny delivery, walks us through the simple argument baked into the very term virginity — one that we still use freely — the idea of a woman’s body as an object for transaction.”
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How to Lose Your Virginity is by award-winning filmmaker Therese Shechter. It is an eye-opening and irreverent documentary journey through religion, history, pop culture and $30 internet hymens. By turns hilarious and horrifying, the film reveals the myths and misogyny behind virginity in America, and how we can change the conversation.
What has launched both purity balls and porn franchises, defines a young woman’s morality–but has no medical definition? Enter the magical world of virginity, where a white wedding dress can restore a woman’s innocence and replacement hymens can be purchased online. Filmmaker Therese Shechter uses her own path out of virginity to explore why our sex-crazed society cherishes this so-called precious gift.
Along the way, we meet a diverse group of sex educators, virginity auctioneers, abstinence advocates, and young men and women who bare their tales of doing it—or not doing it. How To Lose Your Virginity exposes the myths and misogyny surrounding a rite of passage that many obsesses about but few truly understand.
Entertaining, eye-opening and thought-provoking, the film is the perfect tool to ignite conversations around sexuality in your communities.
Directed by Therese Shechter
Produced by Therese Shechter & Lisa Esselstein
US | Documentary | 67 minutes | Color | English
Find us on IMDB and Wikipedia
Includes all the information you may need, including synopses, cast/crew, embeddable videos, official film stills, and more.
Press inquiries? Simply email Therese.
“The screening was an engaging event; the crowd was laughing and gasping throughout. Students loved hearing from an artist who understands the power of being an image-maker and uses that power to bring insight to significant social issues.”
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THERESE SHECHTER SPEAKS TO AN AUDIENCE AT OHIO UNIVERSITY / PHOTO BY JOHN SULLIVAN, KNEEBEAU PHOTO/DESIGN
“A very open and intelligent film...approaches the difficult subject with warmth and humor. I recommend it for anyone who desires a serious, grown-up, critical overview of the issue of sex and virginity in contemporary America.”
What People are Saying
Selected Press
Elle Magazine “Living In The Virginity Rut”
The Atlantic “Living Myths About Virginity”
Salon “The trouble with virginity: What America’s sexual language leaves out”
New York Magazine "College Virgins are a Mostly-Silent Majority"
Vice "Why are Virginity Auctions a Thing?
Mel "Are Virginity Auctions Real, or Just a Seductive Scam?"
The Chicago Reader "Documentary will tell you How To Lose Your Virginity if you haven't figured it out already"
.Mic “Meet the Filmmaker Convincing America That Virginity Doesn’t Exist”
Brown Girl Magazine “How To Lose Your Virginity”
The Frisky Frisky Q&A: Therese Shechter, Director Of “How To Lose Your Virginity
Women & Hollywood (IndieWire): “DOC NYC Women Directors: Meet Therese Shechter”
Bustle: "How To Lose Your Virginity Documentary's "V-Card Diaries" Project Redefines What "Virginity" Means In An Absolutely Necessary Way"
Jezebel “New Documentary Explores WTF is Up with the Virginity Obsession”
The Press says…
"[HOW TO LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY], with breezy, watchable, funny delivery, walks us through the simple argument baked into the very term virginity — one that we still use freely — the idea of a woman’s body as an object for transaction."
— Salon
"A breath of fresh, comedic air."
— Tribeca Film Blog
“Tackles one of the last taboos in our culture’s discussion of sex – the deliberate decision not to participate in it.”
— Forbes
“Virginity is a powerful and malleable concept, as evidenced by the teenagers in Therese Shechter’s smart, funny and provoking documentary.”
— Huffington Post
"In spite of the fascinating and telling historical context, the true triumph of HOW TO LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY is in how relatable it is."
— Feministing
"Shechter gets us talking about our V-cards (whether we’ve cashed them in or whether we’re holding on tight) and creates an important documentary in the process."
— Bust Magazine
Audiences say…
“We at Bedsider think spaces for conversations like these should exist all around campus and we're very grateful that you were able to take part in creating one of those spaces. We were especially grateful for the way she opened up the space for people in all parts of their sexual journey.”
–Bedsider at New York University
"The film doesn't advocate sexual activity or abstinence--only that what you do should be your choice and your timing and free from judgment or shame. My girls have both seen the film and appreciated its candor and that of the young people in it."
–Lynne, mother of two teenage girls
"Screening HTLYV is an engaging event (the crowd was laughing and gasping throughout the movie), and RISD students loved hearing from an artist who understands the power of being an image-maker and uses that power to bring insight to significant social issues."
– RISD Feminists, Rhode Island School of Design
“We think spaces for conversations like these should exist all around campus and we’re very grateful that Therese Shechter was able to take part in creating one of those spaces. We were especially grateful for the way she opened up the space for people in all parts of their sexual journey.”
Past Screenings and Events
Selected schools and organizations
Barnard College
Borough of Manhattan Community College
Bowling Green State University
Brooklyn College
Columbia University
Emory University
Fashion Institute of Technology
Guttmacher Institute
Harvard
Heketi Community Charter School
Hostos Community College
Hunter College
Kinsey Institute/Indiana University
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
University of Nebraska
New York University
Northwestern University
Ohio University
Penn State University
Rhode Island School of Design
Sacramento City College
University of SaskatchewanSkidmore College
Southern Illinois University/Edwardsville
Truman State University
California State, Los Angeles
UMass Dartmouth
UNC Wilmington
University of Texas at San Antonio
University of the South
Whitman College
University of Wisconsin/Madison
Yale University
Planned Parenthood
NARAL
Spark Movement
YouthCommunication
YTH Live
Center for Sex and Culture
Bad Feminist Readings
In The Flesh Readings
Television
USA: Fusion
AUSTRALIA: SBS2 and Studio, Compact Media Group
BRAZIL: Globo GNT.DOC
FINLAND: YLE
ISRAEL: Yes Docu & NOGA
ITALY: CDI SRL
POLAND: TV Fokus
SWEDEN: UR
Selected festivals
DOC NYC New York City, US PREMIERE
Cucalorus Film Festival Wilmington NC
Jihlava Film Festival Czech Republic
Haifa Cinematheque, Israel with Isha L’Isha
FemCine14 Santiago, Chile
ZagrebDox Zagreb Croatia
Brattleboro Women’s Film Festival Brattleboro VT
Film Festival for Women’s Rights Seoul, Korea
St. John’s International Women’s Film Festival, St. John's Canada
Filmmor Film Festival Istanbul, Turkey
Anthology Film Archives New York City, Presented by NYWIFT
Central Cinema, Seattle WA
Metreon Theaters, San Francisco, CA
Selected conferences
American Public Health Association Conference (APHA) Chicago
American Sociological Association, San Francisco
Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence Conference (WSCADV) Spokane WA
Harvard: Rethinking Virginity, Cambridge, MA
Vermont Agency of Education Retreat for Sex Educators
Youth Technology Health (YTH) Conference San Francisco CA
Victim's Assistance Services: To Consent or Not To Consent, Valhalla NY
Extra Features
“The film doesn’t advocate sexual activity or abstinence. Only that what you do should be your choice and your timing and free from judgment or shame. My girls have both seen the film and appreciated its candor and that of the young people in it.”
Film Clips
Eve and Mary and the creation of the Virgin/Whore Dichotomy.
Like Sleeping Beauty, a young woman must be passive, waiting for her prince.
Products for when women must prove something that can't be proven.
Virginity maven Hanne Blank demonstrates a virginity test as accurate as checking hymens: not at all.
The Filmmakers
THERESE SHECHTER (Director/Producer/Writer)
LISA ESSELSTEIN (Producer/Additional Writing)
MARIN SANDER-HOLZMAN (Editor/Additional Writing)
DINA GUTTMANN (Rough Cut Editor)
JUDE RAY (Senior Consulting Producer)
STEPHEN THOMAS CAVIT (Composer)
ANNELIESE PAULL (Cinematographer)
RUBEN O'MALLEY (Cinematographer)
LUKE MURPHY (Animator)
ELLICE LITWAK (Associate Producer)