How to Love a Black Woman

Why Did I Get Married Too? by Tyler Perry

2009-11-11T12:31:00.001-05:00

I enjoyed the first movie so much, I wanted to share the upcoming second movie trailer.

enjoy...

I personally think they should come out with a Why Did I Get Married Anthology where people around the country actually talk about why they did get married and how it worked out for the bad or the good.

My Son - Dropping Knowledge?

2009-11-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

My son's not much of a reader or a writer although very imaginative when it's punishment time.

(imagination runs throughout our family)

I can't really say I heard him say much a deep thought in his twelve years, but I have to say that he's been a seraphim when I needed it the most.

Today, perusing his Facebook, something I try not to do because I'm respecting his privacy (you know that's a lie, but he might be reading this, LOL) I saw one of his status messages that read:

"y iz it lyk the big things n life and the people that u care about seem small but everything else seems huge, gigantic, enormous "

I had to read it three times in order to understand what language he was speaking and then once more to get the gist of it.

I smiled once I had the understanding of what my son (proud momma here) was saying.

For a twelve year old that's pretty old manish to say, but he's always had a way of showing me a lot of things without saying a whole bunch.

Just from that sentence you can understand why I love him so darn much and I don't mind he continues to hide his powerfulness and intelligence until the right time.

So without him catching on that we are "spying" on him. Can you go to his November 4 at 8:19pm status message and just click the "Like." He'll wonder why, but shhhhhh, we won't tell.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=1301799823

I was HACKED!

2009-11-05T04:45:00.000-05:00

There are three times in my life when I felt I wasn't who I was.

The first was in high school when someone took credit for an article I had written. I watched as everyone gave them accolades about the best article EVER written in the schools newspaper and I had to watch as they were treated like a queen. Back then I didn't speak up and I wasn't a fighter.

To this day I've had some anomosity toward the person, but you live and learn.

The second time I was a friend of the family who used my identity and ran over my credit.

It took me over fifteen years to fight with Citibank to get that off my credit and leave me alone about it and I'm still a lot resentful.

Now we hit the third time. Someone took over my hubbooks yahoo mail account and have literary just ruined my life by sending out emails to say I'm stuck in London and I can't leave.

It's a good thing I'm networked not only through that email but others as well and I also have intelligent friends and contacts who immediately saw a scam and contacted me.

I know I can't expect everyone to be good and moral, but I'm hopeful enough to ask why on earth would someone want to hurt someone and take credit or steal someone's identity - the only real thing that's valuable to us?

I'm realistic enough to know this is a silly question to ask, but I love being a good person and I dislike people who do things to hurt others in any kind of way.

I'm not going to discuss this matter any deeper, because things happen. You roll with the punches and keep going. I'll probably talk more at How To Love A Black Woman about losing yourself to yourself. I know the issue of me NOT speaking up when my feelings are hurt and also my forever hope that doesn't seem to run out are going to generate some posts so keep on the lookout.

If you've received any emails from my hubbooks account, please report it to Yahoo security immediately. Thanks

(this also appears on my website as well)

Sometimes you just need the little things to get by....

2009-10-29T12:33:00.001-04:00

Today I was broker than broke.

In the sense that I had no extra money anywhere on me. I've been trying to save a nickel here and there and carrying money just to carry money is not good for me.

I know my weakness for buying, so I try not to have it there.

But today, I couldn't get my usual scrambled egg & cheese at the coney like I do maybe two to three times a week. ( Once I master cooking eggs in the microwave i'll give up this luxury.) I also didn't grab a piece of meat from last nights dinner to bring to work.

(That's had been nice all chopped up in the egss and cheese if I had brought them.)

So I sat at my desk with the office tea I had made and pondered about what to eat.

Opening up the junk drawer, I sighed in disappointment because I had not refilled it since I went on the bread fast about a month ago. Now all that was in there were some old cookies that I quickly tossed away.

Next, I had an apple I had brought early last week as well. The brown mark in the middle was annoying me, so I put that on my desk to stare at it trying to convince myself that the health benefits were greater than the contamination levels it might hold.

Digging down in my extra stuff box that I usually will throw things in when I know I might need it later, low and behold, I pulled up this:

Now being that it's not even name brand would send alarms to my head.

But I was hungry and you know what, I wasn't acting too picky on the matter. I hate it when I have to fight with my stomach other than fast.

On my lunch break, I opened it while trying not to pay attention to what I was going to be eating and warmed it up. It was rather liquefy and I worried that it might spill over on the cheap paper plates.

I still endured and hurried to engulf it while I still had the courage or the determination to answer my stomach's calls.

It went down easy and I was even able to digest an old Sierra Mists I had in my "need it later" box as well without throwing it back up.

Yah me!

The no brand food quelled the monster in me and I was ready to go back and be a good employee to take calls.

A no brand can of food and an old bottle of pop.

I feel good

I said all this to say...

Sometimes you just need the little things to get by....

In life we look so much on things we don't have or things we'd rather have and we miss the things we do have.

I've repeated my statement from my last post, but really are we asking too much when we really have all we need in life already.

True, everyone wants more success in some kind of way in life, but how can we appreciate that new success if we never sit back and try to enjoy the successes we already have.

Applying this same concept to a relationship, I'm often thinking of the 80/20 rule. When we think that it's so much better to be in the land of the 20, while we are holding the 80.

When in a relationship with a person, we have to look for the little things that we love about them and though they may not be the Chef BoyArdee Brand or the fresh bottle of Sprite, you can still be happily full with what they can offer, while working together for that big meal you both can share... together.

Yeah, I'm just ranting and raving from How To Love A Black Woman perspective.

Kisses!

FREE!!! I Am Woman Expo, October 31

2009-10-26T15:37:00.001-04:00

(Click flier for larger view)

In recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness Month TellUsDetroit.com brings I AM WOMAN Expo October 31st from 9am to 430pm at the Wayne State University Community Arts Auditorium. http://iamwomanexpo.org

FREE REGISTRATION

* Workshops & Live Entertainment
* Guest Speakers: Tony Gaskin, Stephanie L. Jones and Sylvia Hubbard and more
* All Male Panel discussion – A Male Perspective on Love & Life
* Free Health Screenings and makeovers
* Prizes and giveaways
* Free continental breakfast and lunch

Sylvia Hubbard
Author, Blogger and Founder of Motown Writers Network & The African American Electronic Literary Network

Author of Romance & Suspense and Internet Marketing for Writers & Business

NOW AVAILABLE: Secrets, Lies and Family Ties order your copy now
Coming Soon: Tanner's Devil www.redrosepublishing.com

Connect with me on Facebook http://facebook.com/sylviahubbard & Twitter.com @ username: sylviahubbard1

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Can Anyone Say, TMI – Too much Information!

2009-10-20T11:21:00.000-04:00

No one has a simple life anymore. The information age has turned into information overload. Endless internet, never-to-get-away-from cell phones and the addictive gadgets – Blackberrys! (My husband calls these “Crackberrys” because one can get addicted to non-stop email checking and text messaging.)

We have more stuff to keep us organized and on top of things, but are constantly feeling like we can’t keep up. This creates stress (especially those who are wanna-be perfectionists like me.)

I have found that being a wife, mother and entrepreneur involves some major strategies and wisdom from God. The type of life I desire has to be woven with care and prayer – constantly!

Here are some steps to keep you moving in the right direction this year:

Command your morning. If you can’t get a handle on your morning, your days will skid off the tracks too. If you can manage your day, you can manage your life. Start your morning off speaking positive, faith-filled words over your day. A couple good books to get to guide you: “Commanding Your Morning” by Cindy Trimm or “Confession: The Key to Purposeful Living” by Stacia Pierce.

Be a list person. Carry a notebook with you to record thoughts and have a journal handy during your prayer time to write down instructions that you hear God telling you to do. While waiting in lines, pull out your pad and make lists of details you need to take care of. This helps you see the big picture for your life because the small details are on paper and not taking up space in your brain that you can use for more creative strategies.

Create systems. Standardize the way you do your daily life – how you grocery shop, order office supplies, retrieve mail/email, pay bills, remember Birthdays, run errands, etc. Set regular appointments for hair, nails and “dates” with friends and family. There’s enough hours in the day to do all we need to do if we make some tasks “automatic” and stick to our schedules.

Learn to say no. Once you make your list, created your system, have your plan in place and working it – don’t get sidetracked by other folks “drama.” Yes, sometimes there will be “divine” interventions but not all day long. Be a doer of your own word to yourself and keep your promises to others.

Stop doing everything yourself! Wonder woman was a cartoon! Retire that cape and ask for help. Quit trying to do so much at one time too. We are humans not a machine. Get help from family. Involve them in your business or ask them to pick up the slack at home. Get support from friends. If there are things you really hate to do and a friend doesn’t mind, barter! Do something she needs done in exchange of what you need done.

Finally, but not least, enjoy your life. Add some fun and simple pleasures to your life everyday! Even if it just getting some big fluffy slippers and robe and leafing through a magazine at the end of day or lighting candles or singing in the shower or car – enjoy your life – when Mama’s happy – everybody’s happy.

Pam Perry, chief visionary and bottle washer at Ministry Marketing Solutions Inc. in Farmington, Mich.

Visit her at www.MinistryMarketingSolutions.com and get her Chocolate Pages Podcasts on www.blogtalkradio.com/chocolatepages every week!

Pam Perry
Chief Visionary
Ministry Marketing Solutions, Inc.

Web:	http://www.MinistryMarketingSolutions.com
Blog:	Ministry Marketing Solutions by Pam Perry, PR Coach
Email:	pamperry@ministrymarketingsolutions.com
Phone:	(248) 426-2300
Network:	My Fast Pitch! Profile

How To Fix A Bad Kisser

2009-10-18T08:37:00.007-04:00

Without being rude, a few tips on how to improve your partner's technique.

Bad kissing can make or break a date, relationship or even marriage.

I always say Communication is key in any relationship, but trying to teach someone how to do something right as intimate as kissing is pretty hard to do.

Lots of good kissers yearn to teach bad kissers how to do it right and now here is a quick video to show you how.

Thanks yourtango.com

Read more at: http://www.yourtango.com/200915735/how-fix-bad-kisser

What was your experience with a bad kisser? Do you consider yourself a good or bad kisser? Do you think your relationship needs a dose of more kissing?

What is the Media Forcing Girls to Believe About Themselves?

2009-10-17T05:15:00.001-04:00

Positive S.I.S.T.E.R.S. Presents:

Real Women Like Us -

Redefining Our Beauty

2nd Annual Fall Fashion Extravaganza & Luncheon - October 25, 2009

Click
HERE to watch video

Silver Garden of

Southfield

24350 Southfield

Southfield, MI

2:00 - 6:00 pm

Vendor Shopping

1:30 - 6:30pm

Advance Ticket Purchase required!
Deadline: Wednesday,
October 21st.

Purchase Your Ticket Today on-line.

Purchase your tickets at the following locations:

The Clothier

19370 Kelly Rd

Harper Woods

(313)

245-5522

Turning Heads

14903 Gratiot

Eastpointe

(586)

996-1351

Yazmine Jay

Northland Mall

(Near StrideRite)

(248)

996-6153

Call (313)

402-4997

if you need more information.

Positive S.I.S.T.E.R.S. is committed to helping women and girls separate their value of themselves from their physical appearance only, and uncover their inner beauty. Our media continues to portray models that are "air-brushed" to perfection, and force young girls and women alike, to feel bad about their bodies if they don't match the "status quo."

A recent article regarding a Ralph Lauren ad and the firing of that supermodel for weight gain has stirred quite a controversy. However these practices clearly demonstrate the pressure girls are forced to endure as they develop into womanhood. This is also why the Dove's Self-Esteem Fund is so needed. As women, we have to embrace the importance of our role in educating our girls on their self-esteem so they do not succumb to de-valuing themselves based on images that are not even real portraits.

In case you missed the controversial ad of a model whose waist was smaller than her head, enjoy this photo:

How healthy does she look to you? We must continue to educate ourselves, our daughters and our men that beauty is everywhere, and that it comes in all shapes, sizes, colors and ages. Thank you in advance for supporting this event so we can continue to collaborate with the Dove's "Campaign for Real Beauty" to share this message with 5 million girls by 2010. It is our responsibility as women to take care of the next generation.

Join us as re-define our beauty!! Men and Women welcome.

Mistress of Ceremony

Ramona Prater will host the Real Women Like Us - Redefining Our Beauty 2nd Annual Fall Fashion Extravaganza and Luncheon!! Not only is she a phenomenal radio personality on two major stations, but she is also the recent author of In the Pink which was written to help women remember the girl, or that feminine essence, inside of them. She wants women to reflect on the inner qualities that define them, and challenges women to ponder, who would they be "naked" without the hair, nails, make-up, and clothes?

Our Speakers

Jacquelyn Rochell was born and raised in a single-parent household, became a teen-wife and mother, and suffered as a victim of domestic violence. Despite her challenges, she worked hard to obtain a higher education and independence. She is an amazing author and shares provocative stories about who she's been, and who she is today. She is an advocate and role model for all women who have suffered with domestic violence. Rochell is also a diversity and equity advocate, and her books convey the importance of realizing and believing the best of you comes from YOU, and not your current circumstances.

Dr. Andrea Calvert led a successful, corporate career prior to launching her own business, Elise Beautifull, Inc., a life coaching and personal development company. She is a speaker, author, minister, entrepreneur, and community leader, and has been honored as a national top performing leader of Mary Kay Cosmetics. She has also served in directorial capacity for various educational organizations. She is a true testimony of excelling against the odds, and will inspire you to reach and achieve your dreams, even during this current economic climate.

In addition to the inspiring stories of these amazing women, you will enjoy entertainment by Grady Washington, dance performances from the House of Bastet, and much more. You will enjoy shopping for wonderful and unique merchandise from our vendors, and have the opportunity to win amazing gifts and door prizes, including a trip give-away!! This will truly be an unforgettable afternoon!!

About Positive S.I.S.T.E.R.S.

Positive S.I.S.T.E.R.S. is an organization that offers life coaching and workshops to empower women in their everyday life. Our mission is to create a more powerful you, by reminding you of the essence you are simply by being a woman. We encourage women to join together in Sisterhood, so as you travel through your "dark night of the soul," you can entrust your Sisterhood to hold a sacred space for you, and inspire you until you emerge triumphantly from your own darkness into the new essence you are.

The theme for Positive S.I.S.T.E.R.S. is Self-Improvement Simply Takes Education, Redevelopment, and Sincerity, and through this process of education and redevelopment, you can transform your whole being and live your dream life!

When you invest in yourself -YOU CANNOT FAIL! So never doubt the beauty you possess inside, because each of us is unique and have our special gift to share with the world!

Sincerely,

Kimle Mitchell
Positive S.I.S.T.E.R.S.

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6 Shortcuts to Happiness in A Relationship

2009-10-15T23:37:00.001-04:00

I just saw a movie called Shortcut to Happiness with Alec Baldwin, Anthony Hopkins and Jennifer Love Hewitt. I enjoyed it clearly as it was an up to date remake of The Devil and Daniel Webster.

Alec Baldwin's character was a writing willing to sell his soul for success, but before the devil got into the thick of things, he was writing his best work. In the work, he realized one thing that he pointed out in the voice of the character: There Is No Shortcut to Happiness.

Anything that's worth anything is worth the hard work it takes to obtain it. We all know nothing in life comes easy.

Unfortunately we all want simple and fast solutions to make our life easy.

I say all this to let you know that the title of this blog is just to get you into reading what I have to write. Amazingly, you're still reading because you want to know will I offer what I've promised in the title.

I will.

I'll even tell you I will make six ways to the shortcut. Six you say? Why not seven or five?

Don't know.

Keep reading.

1. Use Music

Music is known to change a mood and it makes an excellent stress relief for any situation. Music therapy has been used many of times in health situations. Couples have to remember that music draws us together and can make the tension between the two of you less harsh. Don't know where to start. Get the best of Al Green, light some candles and just hold each other in the middle of the floor. Trust me, the mood will change drastically.

2. Incorporate Laughter

Laughter is the best medicine. It's a favorite phrase for anyone and that's because it's so true. Once we've hit adulthood, we become so serious, but as the Joker has said, "why so serious?"

Although we're still having issues over heath ledger's version of the joker. http://loveablackwoman.blogspot.com/2008/07/baby-daddy-you-pray-you-never-have.html

Laughter also has been known to create health benefits as well.

Even if you have to force laughter, find a joke, have a tickle party, try it out when there is too much stress, or you just need to change the mood.

3. Change Your Perspective

Instead of concentration on the big things you don't have, concentrate on the little things. I'm always preaching about appreciation.

Even last week in my socials, I sent out a quote that stated (paraphrasing) If we concentrate on what we don't have, we don't appreciate what we do have. (The person I quote name escapes me know, sorry.)

Even through this financial crises, we're constantly trying to keep up with the Joneses, but we have to remember we really can't. There will always be someone who has more than you or who has a better mate, but you can't dwell on that. You've made a committment to the one you're with and you must fall in love with the positives of your mate. Fall in love with those traits on a daily basis and you'll eventually change your perspective and start looking at the positives in life and in your relationship.

4. Do a Good Deed

I love random acts of thoughtfulness. No really, we're always trying to make up for the bad things we may have done to others we love, but I can tell you, random acts of thoughtfulness certainly can put you up a notch on the ladder to forgiveness. But don't just practice good deeds for your mate because you did something wrong. Do a good deed because it's just nice to do. Helping your mate in parts of their lives that has nothing to do with you, creates a positive emotional bond with you and brings feelings of happiness to the person for you. Having emotional well being in a relationship is wonderful. Bringing a smile to another person's face is contagious.
From a kind word to a large gift, you have the power to make your mate smile. Infect your mate now!

5. Meditate

Having some type of spiritual connection to your mate produces and even stronger bond in your relationship. Meditation, spiritual prayer, yoga, excercising together, or hell tantric sex... http://loveablackwoman.blogspot.com/2008/11/tantric-sex-question.html

whatever it is, doing something together creates a spiritual connection to your partner.

6. Choose Joy

It's so easy to walk away. It's so easy to give up, but as I said in the beginning anything worth having is worth working for.

Being together is a lot of work and too much work causes stress.

Tensions build fights and crises happens and one decision can lead to something bad in a relationship.

Choose Joy. Choose to be happy and not let the stress get to you, which will prompt you to make bad decisions.

Decide every morning to choose joy. Remember all the shortcuts as before and fall back in love with your mate each day and choose that you will be happy. think about 1 things that will make you happy with this person and try to accomplish that goal by the end of the day.

Celebrate each day with your mate as if it may not be another day. Whether its a minute, an hour or a day, find time for happiness.

Just my thoughts and rants from How to Love A Black Woman.

Free webcast - The Marriage Secret: Beyond the Fairy Tale

2009-10-13T09:54:00.001-04:00

Having trouble viewing this email? Click here

If you have some "issues" going on in your marriage or

want to hear how to prevent some....

you might want to consider coming to

this f*r-e-e webcast,
on Friday, October 16.

This online event is called:
The Marriage Secret: Beyond the Fairy Tale
http://instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=9505596

FREE Webcast Event with authors: Jewell R. Powell and Dr. Harold Arnold

On Friday evening, October 16th from 6 PM to 6:30 PM Eastern,
I will be interviewing Jewell R. Powell & Dr. Harold Arnold.

Jewell is the best selling author of Marriage 101 (Revell).

Harold is the author of the upcoming book, Marriage Rocks (Judson Press).

Both authors are Christian marriage experts who have discovered how to make marriage work - especially during these turbulent times in the economy.

Whether you're interested in saving your marriage, improving your marriage or thinking about marriage - you'll want to check out
this webcast.

Go to:
http://instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=9505596

This is great quality information, advice and resources for you for FREE.

P.S. And here's the best part: even if you can't make the call, you can still register and get the replay recording plus get the free ebook and chapter now!

http://instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=9505596
Pam Perry
Host and creator of The Chocolate Pages Network

Read, print and save this special bonus article below from Jewell.

Marriage is Like a Bank:
Top 10 Deposits to Make Today

by Jewell R. Powell

We've all heard that success is a journey, not a destination. I say that marriage is a journey, not a destination. In other words you have to constantly work at building a successful relationship; it doesn't just happen. We know that the cares of this world: career, children, household chores, other family members, and more take up so much of our time that by the end of the day, we have nothing left to give to our spouses. In turn, our marriages are missing the very core of what it should have: love.

A successful marriage is not based on a couple having no challenges or disagreements. But it is based on how they communicate with one another day after day. The definition of communicate is: a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior (words or deeds); to open into each other: connect. Therefore, communicating is connecting to one another on a daily basis to strengthen and enrich your marriage. I am not talking about the day in and day out of the routine of marriage - a peck on the cheek, "Have a nice day" - to a call in the middle of the day to discuss the children or why you will be home late - to a peck on the cheek and lights out.

Marriage is a lot like a bank account. A successful couple makes daily deposits - ways to make their marriage a priority. Below are ten ways to deposit love (and they're FREE!):

1.      Kiss them passionately
2.      Send an ecard (www.MyFunCards.com, www.AmericanGreetings.com)
3.      Watch their favorite show or do their favorite activity
4.      Hug them and tell them how much you love and appreciate them
5.      Make love to them (yes have SEX!)
6.      Put the kids down early, fix a nice healthy dessert, light a candle, and just talk
7.      Start a tradition (every week to take a walk, etc.)
8.      Play a board game/cards
9.      Find a poem or quote (internet,or write one) that expresses your feelings
10.    Pamper your spouse after work

Dating should not stop once you are married. Continue to court one another and offer tokens of love and appreciation. You don't have to spend a lot of money, but little signs of gratitude and courtship can go a long way to enhance your relationship.

© Jewell R. Powell, the Marriage Coach and author of Marriage 101: Building a Life Together by Faith. For more information, visit www.marriage101.us

TALK TO HER & Dr. Harold Arnold on Friday, Oct. 16 from
6:00 to 6:30 p.m. EST
Free webcast: www.tinyurl.com/marriagewebcast

Forward email / Digital Evangelism!

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What the black woman won't do...accept responsibility...WHAT?!!

2009-10-12T10:28:00.000-04:00

I usually try to post positivity on this blog, but today I couldn't help going back to my roots when I listened to this video.

The more I listened to it, the angrier I became.

Just in case you don't feel like pressing play and listening to this hot mess, Here are some of the excerpts from it:

Black women are Indecisive, bitchy and petty as hell
Black Women aren't strong enough to raise a responsible child
We think with our crotch
And we want thug lovin'
Black woman are so self centered they look at these children are things to be used.
Black woman frequently mistreat their children
70% of black children are born out of wedlock
Because black women scheme and play tricks to keep a man, black men can date outside of the race but black women can't.
Black woman are bullies

How true is this...

Now I'm not going to sit back and say I pushed the black man away. I'm one to say that I don't want to be in love or in a relationship at this point in my life and I'll be the first to admit I have dealt with the trifling black man.

Just last week while in Chicago, some guy comes to the table and start speaking of Angry Black Women. Once I saw this video, I started to bring back up the sour milk stomach feeling and couldn't help but to speak out today on the only platform where I didn't have to hear more of that nonsense.

Before I show my Black woman on that video I decided to also point out that women ... ALL WOMEN want good leaders in their lives. I've pointed out before of how we're tired of taking the reins and being head of the household, but we can't rest unless we know we have someone in charge we can trust.

Characteristics of a good leader...

I was always taught that leaders take responsibility for bad situations.
A good leader “walks the talk.”
Leaders need to be able to be a source of inspiration, and be a motivator towards the required action or cause.
A leader also needs to function in an orderly and purposeful manner in situations of uncertainty
Storms, emotions, and crises come and go and a good leader takes these as part of the journey and keeps a cool head. (AND NOT LEAVE!)
The good leader not only maintains high standards, but also is proactive in raising the bar in order to achieve excellence in all areas.

(http://ezinearticles.com/?Seven-Personal-Characteristics-Of-A-Good-Leader&id=59305)

Now it's time to vent:

WTH!!!

Okay, let's first start off with the question of what black woman brought you to this MF conclusion? Who broke your heart? Who made you even think about saying this belligerent crap?

I often warn women about the power they possess to fruck up someone's mind, but whoever did this man in did a doozie on this brother. I mean you got him so turned upside down, inside out, he can't even see straight. He's angry and mad and it's just sad that he has this view of women ... black women ... that wouldn't make even his own mother proud.

Any man or woman who would agree to anything that this person has to say, would be one beer short of a six pack in my opinion.

I could understand if he said some. I mean there are some uneducated or innocent women that don't know a good man if it smacked them in the face. I won't deny that. I was one at one time.

But to say that ALL Black are like this?

That's just silly.

That's just ignorant.

That's just down right plain horrible to say that to anyone. Did you forget you were speaking about your mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins?

And why at no point in this, did you say Black men are responsible for anything.

If there are so many good black men around that we can't see why aren't you out there educating those "boys" we're raising to be good black men? Since we aren't doing a very good job, right?

If you are there, why aren't there more of you taking in these badly raised boys as your sons. If we're so bad, why aren't you stringing us up in court and getting full custody. I mean 40 years of this and you aren't stepping up your game to do something about it?

Oh come on, please tell me.

I mean, if I'm such a bad black woman, why haven't you done something other than run your mouth ... as you say we are doing?

But let's just rewind a little. You're running your mouth... let me say that again... YOU ARE RUNNING YOUR MOUTH!

Black women have not only been running our mouths, but we've been working our brain and body to the bone for the past 40 years when you decided to walk out and not handle the responsibility. If you go back up and return to reading the characteristics of a good leader, it does state: Storms, emotions, and crises come and go and a good leader takes these as part of the journey and keeps a cool head. (AND NOT LEAVE!)

There are a lot of storms and a lot of emotions and crisis's, but unfortunately women ... Majority of ALL WOMEN ... don't go with the luxury of leaving or "getting rid of " responsibility. We face responsibilities. We stay. We put up with the storms, emotions, and crisis.

We're not angry, bitchy, or petty, we're TIRED!!! Tired of carrying a load, God did not design for us. We're tired of waiting for you to step up your game so we can sit the hell down. We don't want to handle all this responsibility, but now that we do have it, you done messed with the wrong woman. We've carried ancestors, drama, hatred and child bearing on our backs for all our lives and now you're asking us to carry you?

WE'RE TIRED!!

Lastly, My Momma said, before you go pointing fingers at someone else, there are always three pointing right back at you.

Be a leader. Be someone who we want to have in our lives. Show us that things will be okay so we aren't always trying to hold up the world by ourselves.

And most of all... love us. Love us unconditionally and hold us tighter when those storms, crises and emotions come.

Why Don’t African-Americans Go to Therapy?

2009-10-05T10:53:00.001-04:00

http://www.feedblitz.com/t2.asp?/352823/7514529/2628406/http://edcmagazine.blogspot.com/2009/09/why-dont-african-americans-go-to.html

Why Don't African-Americans Go to Therapy?
By: Tonya Ladipo

There are many different ideas about why we don't seek therapy. Some believe that it is only for wealthy, White people, others believe that you don't go outside the family with your problems. Some of these thoughts keep us struggling more than we need to. Here are some of the more prevalent ones.

"But I'm not touched"
Many of us think you have to be "touched" or "crazy" to go to therapy." While it's true that some people with mental health issues seek therapy, it's really a service for anyone. Therapy is a paid service that connects you with a trained professional who provides you with the support you need to live a healthier and happier life.

When I first met "Andre" he was apprehensive about seeking therapy. For many months, he questioned whether or not he should be in therapy. Overall, he felt that his life was manageable and that he did not have enough problems to go to therapy, after all he had a job and people who cared about him. He certainly was not "crazy". After several discussions about the purpose of therapy and its benefits to him as a rationale person, Andre accepted his desire for therapy. In fact, in a recent session Andre said that the healthiest people he knows are all in therapy. He realizes that therapy is a place that can benefit everyone, not just a small segment of the population. Andre further explained that the people he knows who have the most problems aren't in therapy. Of course, as a therapist, this makes perfect sense to me. Recognizing that your life is not how you want it to be or that you need additional support takes a lot of courage and self-reflection. These are not the thoughts of a "crazy" person. Rather, this is the thought process of someone who has a sense of who they are and wants more from their life and themselves.

"I can talk to my friends and family"
Why do you need to go outside of your family/church/friendship circle to get the help and support you want? Sometimes, you don't. But sometimes, going outside of that comfortable and familiar circle will propel you to make the changes that you want to. When people talk with their family or friends, many times they don't tell them everything that's going on in their head or in their lives. This isn't to be deceptive, but because you care about your family and friends and you care what they think about you.

Keisha came to see me because she was thinking about leaving her husband. She recently found out that he had an affair. Her family adored her husband and she was afraid of what they would say. She hadn't made up her mind about leaving, but she needed someone to talk to, someone who wouldn't immediately tell her what to do, whether that meant leaving or staying.

When you're concerned with what the other person is thinking and feeling, you cannot focus on yourself and your own needs 100%. That's the benefit of therapy. You can share all of your thoughts and feelings without being concerned about the therapist. In doing this, you can focus on you, what you need, what you want, and ways to accomplish that. Sometimes people are more honest when they go outside their circle of family and friends. As backwards as it may sound, it can be easier to talk to a stranger, easier to share your feelings, fears and pleasures with someone who you do not see everyday.

READ MORE AND COMMENT BY CLICKING HERE...http://www.feedblitz.com/t2.asp?/352823/7514529/2628406/http://edcmagazine.blogspot.com/2009/09/why-dont-african-americans-go-to.html

Monday Morning Motivation - "Fail Proof"

2009-10-05T10:48:00.001-04:00

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Monday Morning Motivation

"Fail Proof"

Greetings!

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

That is one of my favorite quotes, by Robert H. Schuller, that inspires and informs many of the things I do. I take my leaps of faith with that basic premise as one of the many sparks that fuels my fire. If I wasted any time worrying about whether I might fail I would be overcome by fear and self doubt. So I go into everything with the idea that I will not fail.

During this time of year, ten years ago, I experienced two major milestones while in college. The first was founding Diversion Dance Troupe and the second was winning Homecoming Queen, both on the campus of Eastern Michigan University.

I started Diversion Dance Troupe because after years of professional dance experience and training, I tried out for the University's dance team and was told that I did not make it because I did not have the "Collegiate Look." To this day I'm not exactly sure what that meant but I did not let that deter me. I used that energy to start my own organization that would not discriminate on any student based solely upon looks. I wanted all of the young men and women that had come to college with the hopes of continuing their dance careers to have the opportunity to be a part of a student organization based upon their dance experience, not their size or the color of their skin.

Diversion Dance Troupe is still going strong and just celebrated their ten year anniversary last month.

Shortly after starting the Dance Troupe I ran for Homecoming Queen. An African American Homecoming Queen was far from the norm and I even had the people closest to me doubting that I would win. That night, I stood on that large football field and listened as they announced the Baron and the Baroness, The Duke and The Duchess, The Prince and the Princess...All of the names had been called except for mine. It was at that moment that I realized that all that was left to be called was the King and The Queen...and my name. "And the 1999 Homecoming Queen is...Monica Jones!" From then on, it blazed a trail and several African American Queens followed.

Many people have never tried things that they really wanted to do, because they thought that they might fail. I never stop trying, because I never believe that I can fail. If I do not accomplish the goal that I set out to accomplish, I count it as research and a learning experience for what I can do differently next time, not a failure. I tell my dance student's that can't is a curse word. How do you know what you are capable of if you don't give it a try? So again I ask you....

What would you do, if you knew you could not fail?

The Swag Book Release Experience

As much as I love to write, sometimes I find it hard to capture the most meaning experiences of my life with words. Like the time I went to visit my father in Belize after not having seen him in almost fifteen years. The experience of seeing and being with him in a country and a culture that is half of me was so special that I just chose to keep it tucked in a special place in my heart.

The same is the case with the Swag Book Release Experience. Not because it was a success, not because I sold a lot of books....But because the support that all of you showed me meant more to me than words could ever express. I thought that I would give you the play by play of the night's events, but that would feel like a sports reporter covering a wedding. Some things that are just so full of love and meaning are meant to be experienced in that moment. So the only words that I can say are, thank you, I appreciate you, and it means so much to me to have supporters like you.

Sincerely,

Monica

Swag is available at MotorCity Casino Hotel in Lacquer (The Hotel Lobby Gift Shop), on my website and on Amazon.com. If you order it from me, or buy it from Lacquer it will be signed and it will come with a Free Swag Mixtape. If you already have the book, don't forget to leave a review on Amazon.com.

You can also join me on Thursday October 15th at 6pm at the Baker's Keyboard Literary Lounge where I will be signing and reading all of my books accompanied by live music and a talented singer. Visit my website calendar for more details.

Sincerely,

Monica Marie Jones
The Literary Loft

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Joyfully Ever After Marriage Newsletter

2009-09-28T13:30:00.001-04:00

September/October 2009

Joyfully Ever After Newsletter

Celebrate the Season!

A few weeks ago, when it became apparent that fall was approaching, I admit that I felt a little melancholy. It was barely August when we already began to notice acorns falling from the trees and squirrels digging holes in the yard. Retailers began discounting patio furniture and started their back-to-school sales campaigns. Then by Labor Day, Halloween decorations were already on display. My husband Rick and I agreed that we'd been "cheated" out of our summer because the weather had been so often rainy and unseasonably cold here in Michigan. However, if viewed with a "glass half full" mindset, I realize that we're fortunate because we had several weeks to begin to wrap our brains around the fact that autumn was approaching. Now it's here and personally, I'm grateful because if nothing else it means God has blessed me to see another season.

During no other season does He show off His majestic artistry than when He uses His gilded palate to paint the canvas that is our world. I like to think of it as redecorating the landscape and the horizon. So rather than lament over the fall season, I chose to embrace it as God's handiwork and emulate by making a few changes in and around my home.

You don't have to hire an interior decorator to do so; in fact it's more fun to allow your own creative juices to flow. Changing your immediate surroundings can not only improve your mood, but studies have shown that having well appointed aesthetics in the home and work environment contribute to better health. There is an ancient Asian philosophy called Fen Shui which recognizes how the body and spirit are affected by physical surroundings.

I am keenly attuned to the fact that textures, scents, colors and even sounds can have both positive and negative effects on our physical and emotional well being - and routinely make conscious efforts to keep a pleasant, peaceful atmosphere in our home.

There are lots of cost effective ways to incorporate changes in your home's décor. Here are just a few:

1. Use pillows, throw rugs and curtains in varied hues of red, gold, brown and green
2. Strategically position scented candles, plug-in air fresheners or oil infusers throughout your home using the smell of autumn (such as apple-cinnamon or pumpkin spice)
3. Surround your exterior with live fall flowers. Hardy Mums come in a vast array of colors and like their name are sturdy enough to last until mid-November
4. Change your furniture around. Be creative and don't be afraid to move some pieces from one room to another
5. Add an indoor water treatment such as a table or desktop waterfall
6. Go on a family road trip to see the breathtaking fall scenery. Take photos of trees and wildlife preparing for fall, then display them in beautiful frames.

These are only a few suggestions for welcoming the new season. Embrace life, live in the moment!

"Venus

Fall Home Maintenance Tips

Ideas to keep you warm and safe. . .

Schedule your fall furnace tune up. This important maintenance will most likely pay for itself in system efficiency and longevity.
Change your furnace filter. Changing the filter regularly increases operating efficiency, reduces the chance of a break-down, and improves air quality in the home. If you have questions, call a certified and/or licensed heating technician.
Clean out gutters. Hire someone or do it yourself, but make sure you don 't forget! Clean gutters to prevent clogging and the possibility of other damage.
Have fireplace checked. A professional check is essential once a year. Burn only well seasoned hardwoods in your fireplace.
Winterize your gas powered lawn equipment for winter storage. At the end of the season, remove the oil and spark plugs from your lawn mower. Also lightly oil your tools.

Remove garden hoses from outside faucets and store. Frozen hoses can cause pipes to burst.
Check weather stripping and caulking around doors and windows. Eliminating drafts can significantly improve efficiency and comfort.
Check your air conditioning unit. Most units don't require covers, however, you'll want to make sure your unit is free of leaves and grass debris from fall cleanups. Use a brush or vacuum cleaner to clean the exterior surface if it gets dirty. See your dealer to order or replace a cover.
Have winter supplies readily available. If your area gets snow, make sure you have salt, snow shovels with curved blades (to protect your back), and other supplies on hand. Check the batteries in your flashlights.
Leaves. Use a high pressure hose to spray leaves into a pile. The wet leaves compress into trash bags more efficiently or can be added to a mulch pile. When leaves are wet, the wind won't blow them around the yard again.
Windows & Screens
Before heating starts, take your vacuum cleaner hose nozzle off the wand and thoroughly suction out window sills to do away with cobwebs, insects and leaf parts. Also, rather than washing window screens, use the vacuum nozzle to suction them. It's so much easier than taking the screens out one at a time, using a garden hose, etc. Store and replace with storm windows wherever possible.

Don't Forget!

Chimney
Have your chimney checked once a year and install a chimney cap to keep out animals and other items that could block the chimney.

"Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers." (3 John 1:2)

I would like to share a portion of an eNote I received New Birth Missionary Baptist Church

in Georgia regarding our physical well being.

Paul states in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20: "...do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bouPaul states in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20: "...do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's."

The more we seek God's kingdom first, the more this scripture, along with the rest of His word, will resonate with us.

Examine yourself. Which category describes you?

You've made the faith and fitness connection and you're striving to keep it strong.

You're aware of God's word and the connection between faith and fitness, but you haven't put what you know into action.

A faith and fitness connection is totally new to you.

No matter which category you're in, my loving advice to you is to stretch farther. Start each day asking

God for a renewed mindset of discipline, self-control and contentment. Then give it all you got. Go to the next level. Create productive habits. Pay closer attention to body functions and reactions. Approach eating differently. Push to incorporate exercise. Set up boundaries. Connect with people who make healthy living a priority.

Whether you're already in a good place or not, fight to make it better. Some say small steps are required for change, while others insist that extreme or drastic measures are the only way. Whatever works for you, do it. But know that successful change can't happen without consistency.

Remember, I'm on this journey with you. God Bless.

Bishop Eddie L. Long Sr. Pastor

New Birthday Missionary Baptist Church

Walk it off!

It delights God when we use the limbs He designed. He inhabits it as praise just like any other form of praise--singing, playing instruments, clapping, etc.

Walking is an excellent opportunity to meet with God and pray. It's a chance to witness His wondrous creations on the land and in the sky. It's an opportunity to hear from Him. Challenge yourself to go to make a commitment to meet with God in a special place every week.

While you praise Him with your legs, you'll also reap the physical blessings and rewards of walking...
> Walking lowers blood pressure.
> Walking strengthens the heart.
> Walking reduces bad cholesterol.
> Walking helps to control weight.
> Walking relieves stress.
> Walking improves joint mobility.
> Walking improves balance and circulation.
> Walking prevents heart disease.
> Walking reduces the risk of stroke.
> Walking improves mood.
> Walking contributes to brain fitness.

Confidential Connie Writes...

My husband and I have been married for 13 years. I've been a Christian for the past three yeas but he still doesn't go to church. I see to it that our 9 and 11 year old sons attend church and participate in activities for their age. He doesn't mind that they go but when they sometimes resists he says they don't have to go if they don't want to. My 11 year old seems to be leaning more toward his father's ways every day. I'm feeling frustrated with him and I'm also afraid that his indifference will affect our children when they're old enough to choose. My patience with him is running out! ---J.M., Smyrna, GA

The enemy is literally hell bent on dividing husbands and wives; and to destroy the family unit. My advice is to pray for your husband's salvation and that you live a life that would make him want to have the joy that you have within. Pray for your children as well and continue to expose them to wholesome Christian living. Teach them about the love of God and allow them to learn about unconditional love by the way you treat your husband. Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husband; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear (reverence or respect). I Peter 3:1-2 Nagging and threatening hell fire rarely motivates an unsaved person to come to Christ. Also, be sure that you're maintaining a balanced life. In other words, be sure that your homefront is well covered and that you are not neglecting your responsibilities as a loving, affectionate wife and a caring mother while attending church or participating in church functions.

Below is an excerpt of a related article from the archives of Marriage Partnership online magazine:

"Expect your spouse to be unreasonable about spiritual things," writes Jo Berry. "[Your] godliness is threatening, convicting and confusing." But that doesn't make an unbeliever the enemy. In the chronicle of her own marriage, Bebe Nicholson warns that such an attitude will sabotage your relationship and ruin even the best efforts to be effective examples of Christ's love (When a Believer Marries a Nonbeliever [Priority Publishing]). Self-pity, Nicholson writes, projects the attitude, "I could've done better in the marriage department" and is a refusal to accept God's sovereignty in all matters. Self-righteousness not only hinders compassion but, if left unchecked, easily turns to contempt and hatred.
"God created us to be lovers," writes Nicholson. "The more we love God, the more open our hearts are to loving each other. ... The strength of our love for our partner can draw [him] toward Christ and bring glory to God." Until that happens, there are some practical things believers can do to help bridge the spiritual gap and help themselves stay spiritually strong.

Live in the now.
Accept your relationship for what it is and concentrate on cultivating peace and happiness. Instead of striving to alter your circumstances, set your mind on enjoying your life. Find what's good now and build on it.

The loudest form of evangelism is a life that's changed. Gary Oliver, executive director of the Center for Marriage and Family Studies at John Brown University, counsels believers to show Christ in the little things, like taking out the trash and vacuuming.

"I let my husband know I'm glad I'm married to him," said Margaret, "and I never talk about him without him knowing about it first." At Bible study, Julie told me she honors her unequal-yoke marriage by not filling her calendar with church events. She and the kids go to Sunday morning services, and she attends Bible study and events like MOPS during the week. But when her husband is home, he's her priority. Jeanne Hendricks adds, "It might not be easy, but it speaks volumes when you let your spouse know, 'I like you as a person.' When wives honor their husbands by making them feel appreciated and good about themselves just as they are, it often softens their hearts to the things of God."

Find common ground and have fun together.
My friend Jodi makes a list of things she and her husband enjoy: swimming, watching Star Trek movies, vintage cars and sex.

Stay affectionate.
Gary Oliver says both sexual and nonsexual touch are important and cautions (women especially) against shutting down physically. "Although it's difficult for women to remain open physically when they feel they can't share the most important part of who they are, men especially need touch. Sexual touch reaches him at his core. When a wife enjoys her husband, he feels loved, valued and appreciated."

Prayer is our link to God's presence, power, wisdom and comfort. You might pray for conviction of sin and godly sorrow that leads to repentance (2 Cor. 7:10); that God will take a spouse's heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh (Ezek. 36:26); wisdom, courage, discernment and opportunities to speak.

Cultivate your relationship with Christ.
It's crucial to maintain Christian fellowship, Bible reading and prayer. If you can, join a small group and have them pray with you for your unsaved mate.

God knows what he's doing, and he knows those who are his (2 Tim. 2:19). Trust that he will do what's best for you and your spouse. We have this hope: "God is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance" (2 Pet. 3:9). That means there's hope for your spouse-and hope for mine.

Read the entire article

Power Up!

Introducing the

Mason-Dixon

Relationship Line

Blogtalk Internet Radio Show!

I will be teaming up with Minister/Author/Marriage Advocate Christina Dixon

The Real 411 on Marriage!

Call in bi-weekly on Tuesdays @10:30 a.m. Beginning October 1

347.989.8396

log on:
Mason and Dixon on the air

October is

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

I'm teaming up with the Greater Grace Temple Powerful Women of Purpose to walk for the cure! Please help me reach my personal goal to raise a minimum $500.00 for the Making Stride of Detroit Walk for the Cure.

Making Strides of Detroit

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Belle Isle Park

Option 1 - $10.00

Option 2 - $20.00

Option 3 - $50.00

Live at 5!

Saturday, October 5th

Been There, Done That, Now What?
The gloves come off in this totally transparent discussion

featuring...

Darryl and Cozette Ford

also, Special Guest, Stephanie L. Jones, Author of The Enemy Between My Legs

and Diarra Dee, Praise Dancer

Presented by The Bible Motivate Women Evangelist Lou Anne Stewart, Founder

This is event is free - All are welcome

Thursday October 15 - Saturday October 17

Ladies, get ready for a Mountain Moving experience by attending the Greater Grace Temple Power Women of Purpose Retreat. Held at the Spectacular Doubletree Guest Suites Hotel in Downtown Detroit, this retreat will deliver a refreshing renewal for your mind, body and certainly for your soul! Meet me there!

Registration Fee: $105

*Hotel Reservations not included.

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Event: The Fuller Woman Expo- Detroit

2009-09-18T10:30:00.001-04:00

I thought this was an interesting event for "women like me"....

The Fuller Woman Expo- Detroit

September 19 10am- 8pm
Hotel St Regis Ball Room
3071 West Grand Boulevard
Detroit, MI 48202

Mission:
The goal of the Fuller Woman Expo is to empower the plus-size woman to recognize her internal and external beauty; to educate and motivate through workshops and seminars,while provinding information on the products and/or services available to them through various companies across the world.

Join us as we celebrate who you are, right now

Keynote Speaker DeLores Pressley
A confidence and life strategist, is known for her electrifying and exhilarating performance as a speaker, author and consultant. She is a leading authority on helping take confidence to the next level and releasing personal power.

Jennene Biggins-Foundation Workshop
In November 1997, Jennene founded the Voluptuous Woman Company (VWC) based out of Silver Spring, Maryland. The Voluptuous Woman Company's motto is "Size is Just a Number..Not a Limitation.™" The company serves as a positive voice for the plus-size woman and offers informative, spiritual and empowering events such as networking receptions, conferences and other special events specifically designed to encourage plus-size women to live life to the fullest

Runway modeling 101- Mia Amber

As a model Mia Amber has worked with Richard Metzger, Monif C., Queen Latifah for Curvation, Abby Z., Lane Bryant and many others. Mia has graced the covers and pages of numerous magazines and has appeared on countless television shows.
This past spring Mia was tapped to be the new Creative Editor-At-Large for Plus model magazine. Her first duty in her new role was to go toe to toe with the infamous Janice Dickinson on Oxygen's, "Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency." Mia held her own knowing that she was standing up for the 62% of plus size women in the U.S.
Mia believes in stepping out on faith to realize her dreams and travels the country as a speaker at seminars for aspiring models.
Mia Amber recently began a new venture adding burgeoning style maven to her resume with the creation of, Mia Amber Style. Through it, Mia hopes to guide aspiring models as a Style Consultant.

VIXEN FITNESS: FIT, FUN AND FANTASY
Danielle Green

Vixen Fitness was founded by Danielle Green, a Metro-Detroit native. She was introduced to pole dancing in 2005 as a birthday gift from friends. She immediately became addicted to the feeling of confidence she experienced while experiementing with such an empowering art form.
During this journey Danielle developed a passion for fitness and encouraging women to explore their sensuality. She started training with other forms of dance and fitness and re-opened in February 2008 with a new vision, a great team of instructors and exciting new classes. In January 2009 she became a certified group fitness instructor and is currently studying for her certification in Personal Training. The classes were designed with "real" everyday women in mind that want to experience alternative fitness regimens, get a great work out and explore their sensuality in a safe, supportive and non-judgmental environment with other women of like interest.

The Fuller Woman Expo-Detroit is proud to introduce a panel discussion entitled
"Evolution of the Curvy Revolution"
Led by Karen Love Chief Operating Officer Michigan Chronicle/Publisher, Michigan FrontPage

The plight of plus modeling-Gwendolyn Devoe CEO and Founder of the Plus Model Academy of New York ,DeVoe Signature Events and the Executive Producer of "Full Figured Fashion Week"

The beginnings of the movement-Sharon Dumas-Pugh, founder Full and Fabulous http://www.fullandfab...

Women in cinema-Oya Amakis- ceo Detroit Women of Color Film Festival http://www.dwcfilmfes...
Lifestyle-Thriving in your Curves-Stephanie Penn-Danforth-Managing editor of Venus Diva Magazine http://venusdivamag.c...

Medical Perspective- Dr.Cynthia Jones M.D.,F.A.C.S. Chief of Staff, Lincoln Medical Center http://lincoln-surgic...

Fitness-Jenna Vaught Ms. Plus America Elite 2007-2008 http://www.jennavaugh...

Plus journalism Johara Tucker-Founder editor and chief of "Luvinmycurves" http://luvinmycurves....

The day will end in a full scale fashion showcase "Curves in Motion" sponsored by Lane Bryant Outlet-offering some of the best in fashion and entertainment from across the country to put you in a "curvy state of mind" Featuring international recording artist L'Renee

Fashions by

Qrystal Frazier designs of New York-Featured on Project Runway Season 6
La'Dans Closet-New Jersey
B.G.U. -New York
Envy Us- Detroit
Mochachasis-Detroit
Candi-Apple Couture-Toronto
Feline-Toronto
The Black Dress-Detroit
B-Flyy Creations-Detroit

Tickets are only $10 for the entire day!!! Join us as we celebrate who you are, right now!

EVENT: Oprah Winfrey, Tyra Banks, and CNN Guest Expert Comes to Detroit

2009-09-16T14:04:00.001-04:00

The Literary World of Sylvia Hubbard

Sylvia Hubbard's Stories

Oprah Winfrey, Tyra Banks, and CNN Guest Expert Comes to Detroit

Posted: 15 Sep 2009 12:42 PM PDT

Tony Gaskins Jr., Motivational Speaker and Author of the bestselling book, What Daddy Should Have Told His Little Girl and more, including Stephanie L. Jones and Sylvia Hubbard will be at the I AM...

Read free stories from romance suspense, sensual noir author from Detroit, Sylvia Hubbard

Read more at: http://sylviahubbard.com/blog

THE FICTIONALIZED TRUTH BY angelia Vernon menchan

2009-09-11T08:51:00.000-04:00

I absolutely love it when folks read a synopsis or blog about my books and they say;
“That sounds like real life…”
I have to remind them that I coined the phrase, ‘Fictionalized Truths’…
When I first published my work, three years ago…
I have seen others use it, but it is all to the goodness, because imitation,
Is truly the sincerest form of flattery,..
Anyway,
The reason I wrote about life-like stuff,
Is because from the cradle,
I have been the observer of,
Listener to,
And liver of realness,
I can remember the stories of my grandmother, godmother, mother and aunts,
They were all larger than life divas,
And lived out so much,
So while I was being seen and not heard,
I was listening and preparing for this writing thing,
Tightening up my game so to speak,
When I sit down to write, all I know is that I am going to bring it,
As genuine and real as I know it to be,
I will write about love,
Happiness,
But I am also going to write about,
Hate and pain,
I will also make sure my flawed characters show some goodness,
And my good characters show some flaws,
Because books are life,
And life is in books,
So when people say,
“I have never read anything quite like that”…
Or,
‘Wow, do people really live like that?’
Or the infamous,
‘Do you know those people?”
Or oh my God,
‘Is she you?’
I smile cryptically and say,
“Honey, only I know for sure…’
And that is,
‘The Fictionalized Truth…”

angelia Vernon menchan
www.angeliavmenchan.com
http://acvermen.blogspot.com

MRS. BLACK? September 11, 2009

READ A Chapter One Excerpt on Shelia Goss' Blog

http://sheliagoss.com/2009/09/11/mrs-black-excerpt-by-my-favorite-author-angelia-menchan/

THANKS, GRACIAS, DANKE SCHON!

Post your comments below:

"You Are The Gift" by Monica Marie Jones

2009-09-10T13:47:00.001-04:00

Greetings!

Last Month I had the pleasure of being the key note speaker at the "You Are the Gift" Conference for Girls. Here is an excerpt from my speech....

"You Are The Gift"

What do you use to measure your worth? What do you use to measure your value? Is it the clothes you wear? Is it the person you are dating? Is it what others think of you? Is it the amount of money you have? Is it your size? Is it the shade of your skin?

The truth is that we often base how we feel about ourselves on many of the factors listed above...but do those things truly make us happy? At the end of the day, are we fulfilled, or do we find ourselves always wanting more, no matter how much we have? A better car, a bigger house, newer clothes, longer hair, a smaller waist....

We find a small bit of happiness in these things, but as soon as someone says something bad about us it knocks us off of our rocker. We usually do one of two things...We try to prove them wrong...or we believe them.

How we feel about ourselves cannot be based on how we look, what we have, or what others think about us because what happens when we don't have those things anymore? What happens when those people are no longer in our lives, what happens when our looks fade or change?

For most of my life I remember thinking that if I lost weight, then I'd be happy. As a result I changed my lifestyle, started exercising, ate right, and lost 65 pounds. I got a lot more compliments and attention... but there was just one thing that was missing. I still was not happy. I did not know my value, I did not know my worth, I didn't realize that I was a gift. All that I needed was already inside of me.

Let's talk about that for a minute. Let's talk about what I mean, or what it looks like when I say that you are the gift.

Think about a person that you find to be intriguing. What is it about that person that makes them so interesting? Nine times out of ten it is something that you just can't describe. They walk into a room and their presence is felt. People are drawn to them. It's almost like that person has a glow. It really has nothing to do with that person's looks...there's just something about them....

They have that SWAG...now what is swag? Is it something that you can see? Is it something that you can buy? Is it something that you can learn? No, it is something that we all have inside of us, we just don't realize it.

Let me break it down like this. SWAG.... S-W-A-G

The S stands for Something... There is something about these people that we just can't quite wrap our minds around, something that makes them stand out in a crowd. Not necessarily how they look, what they are wearing, or what they have...just something.

The W stands for Within... It's something within because clearly we can't quite describe it and we can't see it, but we know that it's there.

The A stands for Awesome...It makes us want to know that person, be that person's friend, be around that person.

The G stands for Gift. They are the gift, they have the gift, it's inside of them and it's glowing on the outside...

S.W.A.G. = Something Within...Awesome Gift...

You see my friends, these are the people that KNOW that they are the gift. When you know that you are the gift, anything is possible.

Sometimes people spell SWAG with two G's. ...SWAGG

That last G is silent, sometimes you don't see it, but it's ever present...That last G is God. Something Within...Awesome Gift...God. God is the gift, God Gives you the Gift, God is in you. That thing that people see shining through is the God in you.

That's the realization that I had to come to. How dare I talk negatively about myself? How dare I think I am not cute enough, or too fat? I am a child of God, and denying myself...denying that I am the gift, is like denying God.

God is in me so how dare I not love myself. How can I say that I love God if I do not love myself? Loving yourself is knowing that you are the gift. Knowing that you are the gift, is loving yourself.

Now that you know, you have no excuse. You've got SWAG. It's in you, now you should adjust accordingly. The change may not happen overnight, but here are a few steps to get you started...

When someone gives you a complement, simply say thank you (accepting a compliment is like saying, "I know that I am the Gift")

When you enter a room hold your head high, and look everyone in the eye...you think no one notices you? You think no one's checking you out, how could you know when you've had your head down for so long. Lift it up and let that beautiful light shine through your eyes and your smile.

Next time someone tries to mess with you or talk bad about you look them in the eye and smile...Laugh even.... But in your head I want you to say... "Do you know who I am? Better yet? Do you know who's I am? You better ask somebody!"

You've Got that SWAG...You Are the Gift!

Up until the SWAG Book Release Experience on Friday September 25th, 2009 at 5pm the book will be available at a discounted rate for pre-order. Get your copy before anyone else!

"Beyond the engaging backdrop of reality TV and the entertainment world, Monica Marie Jones' great novel SWAG illustrates to us, through a main character I grew to love, how to open ourselves to all the opportunities and blessings that are before us."

~Shōn Bacon, author, editor, educator

Our Price: $12.00
List Price: $15.95
S & H: $3.00

CLICK HERE TO ORDER NOW!

As always, thank you so much for all of your support. I appreciate you. :)

Sincerely,

Monica Marie Jones, CEO
Inspirationista Ink!
The Literary Loft
www.monicamariejones.com

Please don't give a Joe Wilson Apology when you make a mistake

2009-09-09T23:51:00.001-04:00

Being sorry when you have done something majorly wrong is the worse feeling of all, but accepting the apology from someone who had done something majorly wrong is even harder.

Last night GOP Rep Joe Wilson was "over emotional" and heckled President Obama during his speech by shouting out "liar."

WTH!

Yes! That's was I said. Was this high school? No. Was this middle school? No! This was a political floor where people have sweated blood and tears to build and respect and in one instance of impropriety some nutshell decides to disgrace the government arena.

Here's my rant I posted on CNN about this:
Public office at all times should be held in high regard especially for the person sitting in the office itself.

PUBLIC office appearances no matter the situation (whether its in a good or bad situation) should never EVAH be negative.

I don't think I can accept his apology at this time, because:

1. It wasn't heartfelt enough (Issuing a "statement" to the press about your emotional state is like Mike Tyson holding up a sign after he bit the ear off with I'm Sorri on it. (And yes I meant the small i on the end).

2. Oh please. An apology to just the president? You owe the people who put you in office an apology and people who are in like positions such as you for disgracing a public office.

3. I'm not feeling it. Really i'm not. you meant it and you're going to have to do a lot more to convince me you really meant this apology.

Now if you are a person that did something wrong there are a million and one articles on the Internet that can tell you that sorry is a five letter word. What you have to remember is action speaks louder than any words you could possibly use. You must also remember another word: Patience. It's going to take a lot of time for that other person to get over being angry with you. If you try to rush it, and get angry because you'll make the situation worse.

Be sincere in your apology. No letters, no facebook status messages and no tweets please to the other person about how sorry you are. Only a verbal apology immediately once you realized you have wronged the other person.

After that you must wait before you can feel like you are forgiven. You don't necessarily have to walk on eggshells, but be mindful of that other person's fragile emotional state.

HOW DO YOU FORGIVE?

Now as I say with all my posts, I'm not an expert. I haven't had any formal training but I have my PhD in life experiences. For this situation, the person that has to forgive must. Did you hear what I said... I said, that you must forgive them.It could be the worse thing in the whole world, but if you hold on to that anger, you will not only hurt the person around you, but yourself emotionally and others as well. Let it go!

After the person apologizes, take a breather. I usually say the maximum breather in any relationship when the person has a right to be angry is 72 hours. Yes, girls, I'm being specific because guys like time periods. That means cut out all quiet treatments, attitudes and all other forms of "i'm going to get you back because you did or said something bad to me."

If you really want to be with this person or have to deal with this person, just do it. Don't allow your person angst to get in the way of getting things done.

I know its hard. They hurt your feelings and even if their apology sucked worse than sour lemons, just find a way to get through it and get on with life.

Don't like one Joe Wilson monkey stop no show.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Shoes and Words: Is there a common link?

2009-09-07T15:40:00.000-04:00

Guest post by Danielle from http://itssonicetobenice.com

I love looking at fashion, but I’m definitely far from being a clothes horse or shoe fanatic. Actually, I haven’t been shopping in a few months. I do understand that many people are, however. I know a number of people that love shoes, buy shoes before they have an outfit to match, and would fight if you tried to pry a coveted pair from their hands.

I’m sure you’ve heard stories, seen pictures, or you might just be a shopaholic yourself….and there’s nothing wrong with this at all. We all have things that we like and might possibly collect. I love tea pots and have a beautiful fledgling collection.

But I know people who can spend hours looking for the right pair of shoes, making sure they match their outfit to a T, making sure they’ll have the baddest pair in the club, work, or church.
And again, I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with such behavior, as long as you’re not going broke.
I do have a problem, however, when our image (that we work so hard on) doesn’t reflect who we really are. Looking like a church going man or woman, professional, or a prince, but speaking without control, substance, or foresight…..

Last week, as I waited for a seminar to begin, I wrote a poem in response to this frustration. The focus was learning to choose the appropriate words, learning to be strategic with our word choice….sort of like we are with our shoes.

Actually, the last line of the poem is ‘choose your words like you choose your shoes.’
I have no idea where the directive came from, but I couldn’t get the simile out of my head. Choose your words like you choose your shoes so they’ll match your motive, your character, the person to whom you’re speaking, and the image that your trying to project.

Most importantly, choose your words like you choose your shoes so you can show love, be a blessing, be heard, be effective, and encounter the least resistance.

Any thoughts? Is it impossible to be more conscious of the words we use? Is our language and word choice set in stone? Can our vernacular change at 30 or 40? What other similes would you use to compare to word choice?

visit Danielle's wonderful blog at: http://itssonicetobenice.com. It's an inspiring and uplifting read!

Behind every good story there's a love story

2009-09-05T07:23:00.001-04:00

I know we usually don't talk about movies on this board unless there's a relationship issue with it.

With the much hyped about James Cameron movie Avatar coming out there soon, I thought I should just talk about the title of this blog.

Behind every good story there's a love story...

As you watch the movie there, there's a mixture of science fiction, a lot of action, but then at the very very end of the trailer, he shows us the one thing that will touch us...

love.

I thought just the trailer was fascination in the way it told the story to the movie and I still wonder - or hope - that the movie lives up to the hype and the trailer that seems awesome.

Anyhoo, as someone says Love is a splendid thing (don't know where I heard it, but I seem to recall it being sung.)
If you ever think of every movie that has come out and received some kind of recognition, you can always say there’s a love story involved.

Not just love between a man and a woman, but man and himself, man and the world, man and his people, man and what he believes in. There’s always a love story there to rival whatever action, madness or mystifying material you see.

And it’s not about the love they show (although that 9 ½ Weeks scene was pretty hot), but it’s the love that the characters showing love.

We fall for it every time. The Oscars prove that to us by being watched by millions and millions of people each year and the box office tells us on a everyday occasion that people still want to fall in love all the time no matter whatever the type it may be.

And even though it may be the same Cinderella story on the screen we watch it played out every time knowing the results and cheering the victory when the love is finally revealed to us.

How does this relate in real life?

It just goes to show that no love is the same. Each one tells a different story and we cannot predict the way we fall in love with a person will be the similar for us as another.

Allowing the story to play out may be the scariest thing to us though. As much as we want the pulse pounding heart stopping moments that we see on the screen, we are terrified of that happening to us because then we know our weakness does not lie in what’s inside of us anymore. Our weakness lies in someone else and we pray they guard it well and treat it with respect.

But I don’t even think that is the hardest part about love.

I think the hardest part about love is not about finding it and discovering it, but it’s about keeping that love in our lives and sometimes we are our own worst poison when it comes to love.

Ben & Jerry’s Hubby Hubby Flavor Creating Social Stir & 2 reasons Y I LOVE IT!!

2009-09-02T09:30:00.001-04:00

Ben & Jerry's Hubby Hubby Flavor Creating Social Stir

Ben & Jerry's has never been one to follow the status quo when it comes to their ice cream flavors or their social media marketing tactics. Last month we flipped over their upside down status updates, but their latest move is making an even bigger social statement.

The Vermont ice cream maker updated their Twitter account [@cherrygarcia] this morning to inform followers of their latest flavor announcement: Chubby Hubby, an all-time favorite flavor for many, is now named Hubby Hubby.

The symbolic statement is a reflection of their partnership with Freedom to Marry [@freedomtomarry], and their desire to "raise awareness of the importance of marriage equality."

Learning the Anatomy of Pleasure

2009-08-30T15:50:00.001-04:00

by Wendy Strgar. CEO & Loveologist
Good Clean Love, Inc.

There is a lot that we never learned about our own sexual anatomy growing up. In fact, the anatomical facts of nature have been seriously updated. All of this talk of G spots and female ejaculation has inspired a second look. Who knew that the clitoris is not just a magic button crowning the vagina, but was proclaimed by Masters and Johnson as "a unique organ in the total of humanity." The organ, with over 8000 nerve endings, twice as many as the penis, has actually 18 parts both visible and invisible. It is so complex and extends so deeply into the pelvis that is now actually considered an organ system. The clitoris is now widely considered homologous to the penis with more structural similarities than differences. This new understanding of the function of the clitoris as an intricate network capable of a vast multitude of unique and powerful orgasmic sensations literally changes the map to pleasure.

The same could be said of the male sexual organs. The anxiety that many, if not most, men feel about their penis size is as universal as the misconception that it is the penis that is the ringleader when it comes to sexual satisfaction and prowess. "We equate masculinity and power with penis size," says Ira Sharlip, MD, clinical professor of urology at the University of California at San Francisco and president of the International Society for Sexual Medicine. "Of course, there's really no relationship." Still, Sharlip says, "all" of his patients want to increase their penis size.. Many men are surprised when they move their attention away from the penis to the powerful erogenous zones nearby like the prostate area and scrotum. The penile roots, not unlike the clitoral ones have a whole different arousal capacity and depth.

Read more of Learning the Anatomy of Pleasure...

Fwd: A Love Language Minute: Are You Getting the Point?

2009-08-28T10:12:00.001-04:00

Are You Getting the Point?

Communication is easy until you have a disagreement. So, how do we process conflicts without arguing? As I was writing my book The Marriage You've Always Wanted, one of the great discoveries I made was the awesome power of listening. Most of us are far better at "making our point" than in "getting the point" of the other person. Listening has to do with trying to look at the world through the other person's eyes. It's not that difficult if you try.

Once you can truthfully say, "I think I understand what you are saying, and it makes sense." Then you can say, "Let me tell you how I'm thinking, and see if it makes sense to you." Two people who listen long enough to affirm each other can then find a win-win solution.

Arguments reveal the heart. Almost always arguments grow out of unmet emotional needs. One wife said, "Little things like getting the old newspapers out to the garage for recycling is not a big deal to him, but it is to me because I hate clutter. It's kind of a visual thing." What is she saying? One of her emotional needs is to have order in the house. Clutter is emotionally upsetting to her.

The wise husband and wife will look for the emotional need behind the argument. Why is my spouse so upset over what seems trivial to me? The answer to that question will help you understand your spouse. Meeting emotional needs for each other is one way to create a positive climate for communication.

Adapted from The Marriage You've Always Wanted by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.

Don't stop talking and don't stop listening

2009-08-27T14:37:00.000-04:00

COMMUNICATION 101

"Who knows a person's thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God."

"Communication is to a relationship what breathing is to the body. Don't stop talking and don't stop listening." Dr. Gary Chapman

To me Speaking with another person about your feelings is like opening the door to your heart.

We don't like that. It's unprotected, unguarded and able to become hurt by even a sliver of negativity.

How do we make sure that this does not happen?

There's really no way to prevent it, but we hpe to create a relationship with someone who will be not only our freak in the bed, but our friend.

A friend should have access to weave their way through your unguarded territories without fear of getting hurt or being hurt. Havign a friend with your partner creates a clear path to healing and loving more between the two of you.

We all hope this happens to us. We pray for a relationship with our partner where we can feel safe and secure knowing that they are our friend and they will protect and be careful with the fragile heart we lay at their feet.

To ensure this, we have to really become friends with our partner. Not that temporary kind where you're only liking each other because you have great sex, but like them as a person. Want to talk to them about things going on in each other's lives and really be there for one another.

That's what friends do.

Just because you have sex with this person does not mean you cannot speak to them about what's most vulnerable to you.

An open line of communication is very important and friends have this, cherish this and love this about each other.

Be friends with your partner and certainly your relationship will strengthen grow and insure longevity.