How To Survive Life in The Suburbs

Surviving A Drive To Florida? Travelling With Kinder

2012-02-12T06:05:00.000-05:00

I’m just a little bit excited! Actually, I might be worse then my kids. Only 20 sleeps until we head out on our road trip to Florida. Um yes, I said road trip!!! This family of four is doing the economical thing this year and driving to Florida instead of flying. 22 hours of bliss ~~trapped in the car with a gassy husband and two whiny children~~ as we leave the snow and head to the sunshine state. My fear, this trip will be less bliss and happy memories; more whining, crying maybe even a touch of Chevy Chase National Lampoon’s Vacation? Oh help me…

I am not letting this happen! Time to get a plan, get organized.

Time to make a list. Oh how I adore a good list. Here’s what I THINK I need. Feel fee to tell me what I’m missing, I don’t want to end up crying beside a broken down car at the side of the road, or dealing with a snivelling Hubby or kids for 20 plus hours!

So here’s my list:

A Map.

Cooler stuffed full of drinks: juice boxes, bottles of water, Red Bull for me, Coke for the Hubby.

Bagels and cream cheese, Crackers and cheese, cookies, chips, mints, gum, and of course my Kinder Surprises to pull out as needed! (the secret weapon)

A cutting board and small knife (we plan to buy some fruit as soon as we get across the border)

IPods loaded up with games and music for the girls.

My laptop. (can’t leave home without it)

Potable DVD player and as many movies as I can get my hands on.

Books.

Colouring and activity books, Pet Shops, and Play Dough.

Pillows and Blankets. Maybe I will get lucky and my monkeys will sleep?

Gravol, Kleenex and a garbage bag!

Camera and smart phone to capture the hilarity of it all. I plan to tweet the whole way so watch out as I #escapethesuburbs!

For the next 20 days I will do my best to convince myself that the drive is part of the adventure? It will be fun right?! ~~Lie to me~~ I know it will be worth it when I’m floating in the pool, soaking up the sun and marvelling at the energy and joy of my giggling babies.

Don’t even talk to me about the drive home! I’m not going to think about it. I know we are a very lucky family to be making such fabulous plans, and can’t wait to spend some solid quality time with my crazy crew!

Wishing all of you safe travels and fab spring breaks no matter what your plans are! It’s a great time to make some memories!

PS As a KinderMom I have a hot tip for you! Be sure to stop by the KINDER® Canada Facebook page not only will you get a peek at the 2012 toy collection, but this February they are giving away $500 towards the ultimate staycation!

Disclosure: I’m part of the Kinder® Mom program and I receive special perks as part of my affiliation with this group. The opinions on this blog are my own.

She is Fierce

2012-02-10T07:14:00.000-05:00

She didn’t want to go today.

I picked up my oldest after school and she had tears in her eyes. For about five minutes she denied anything was wrong and then, as soon as we were alone…..the floodgates opened.

She was missing the dance AGAIN because of gymnastics. Watching her girlfriends skip off arm in arm, going to each others houses to get ready for the big event…it was just too much for her to bear. Her little heart was hurting, and so was mine.

My oldest daughter is a Provincial Level Gymnast. It’s not always easy. She has had to fight her way through the occasional injury, has given up sleepovers and dances, and misses out on a tear jerking number of social events. It’s hard to make so many sacrifices all in the name of gymnastics.

This particular Friday night was a tough one. Watching her girlfriends skip off together all giggles and smiles with no concerns other then what clothes to wear, knowing the fun she was going to miss. Preparing because in the next 30 minutes she had to cram dinner down her throat, change, get her hair up and be in the car with a smile on her face. Four hours of gymnastics in her future.

This little athlete spends a minimum of 12 hours a week in the gym, not to mention the total of three hours of driving time. We get caught up on all our news in the car, she does homework in the car and two times a week she even has to eat in the car. Dedicated. Oh yes. Easy, oh no. She is kind of my hero….she works harder in one session of gymnastics then I do all week long.

As her Mama I do everything I can to support her as she chases her dream. Not only do I play paparazzi ( you just know this baby adores me taking about 100 pictures at every competition), but I also do my best to make sure she gets everything else she needs, emotionally and physically as she goes through her busy life. I prepare her healthy meals “to go” on those busy gym days. A big part of keeping her healthy is making sure she gets her IronKids vitamins. Those Omega 3s, Calcium, and Vitamin Ds have become an important part of our routine.

I’m happy to report we made it through that sad Friday night. As I always try to do, I gave my BlueEyes a choice, gymnastics or dance? Yes, the commitment she has made to gymnastics is important, but it can’t be her everything. I told her she was more then welcome to skip gym and go to the dance. With a shaking voice and teary eyes, she chose gym.

Wow, proud Mama here. It’s easy to be her biggest cheerleader.

Find IronKids on Facebook, follow them on twitter and buy their products everywhere!! Shoppers Drug Mart, Rexall Pharma Plus, Metro, Sobeys, Loblaw/Fortinos/SuperCentres, London Drugs and Well.ca. As well as Target.com, CVS.com and Amazon.com in the US.

Disclosure: I am a Brand Ambassador for IronKids products, a product I strongly believe in! The opinions expressed in this post are my own.

It's a Schick #HydroSilkCanadaTwitter Party!

2012-02-09T18:28:00.006-05:00

Even though summer - ergo, short shorts weather - is still a few months away, we've got smooth, supple skin on our minds, and want to turn you on to the NEW Schick Hydro Silk Razor!

Why it's AWESOME:

The Schick Hydro Silk hydrates skin like no other razor can. This uniquely designed razor goes beyond an incredibly close shave to actually care for your skin. With Water-Activated Moisturizing Serum & 5 Curve-Sensing blades with skin guards to help protect skin from irritation, the Hydro Silk razor leaves skin feeling silky smooth!

Join us for a super fun Twitter Party, where we'll chat about your favourite shaving tips, those pesky shaving myths, and how to get those gams super smooth!

WHEN: Wednesday, February 15th from 8:30 - 10:00pm EST.

WHO: All are invited to party, but prizing is open to Canadians only.

HOSTS: Join @Listen2Lena, @MyChaos, @SassyModernMom and @TeacherMomofTwo using the hashtag #HydroSilkCanada

PRIZES: Over $500 in Prizing, including Hydro Silk Spa Gift Sets, $75 Visa Gift Cards and Hydro Silk Razors!

Don't forget to RSVP below for your chance to win a fabulous prize! Then, mark your calendars, and we'll see you on Wednesday night!

Hope to see you there!!!
PLEASE ENTER YOUR TWITTER HANDLE INFO INTO THE LINKY BELOW! THANKS :)

So This One Time In A Hot Tub…

2012-02-08T06:40:00.000-05:00

Oh don’t you wish this story was going to be all scandal in the suburbs? Pft. This is not that kind of blog! However….

This one night, after a couple of generous drinks with good friends in a hot tub, the hubby and I were feeling the love. You know, the “I love the world”, “I love your kids”, “I love the gorgeous sky”, “I love you man”. Kind of feeling the love. Lots of love. Just as our blood pressure was reaching an all time low, and the alcohol in the blood stream was reaching an all time high, the four of us came up with the BEST idea ever! We would combine our two wild families and all rent a house together in Florida!!

Bonding, family, fun, sunshine and more hot tub! It was decided. We were doing it!

The next morning, after the Baileys on ice was good and worn off, and the Advil was starting to kick in, I realized the gravity of what I had just done. I had just agreed to spend an entire week sunbathing, swimming, and tanning it up with freakin Barbie and Ken!

Crap.

I adore my good friends, freakin Barbie and Ken, but do they have to be quite so perfect and beautiful?

So now I needed to make a decision, come up with a plan of action.

I laid out my options.

A) Spend the next 25 days starving myself, ~~setting a horrible example for my daughters~~ and hope and pray I could lose a quick 8 to 10 lbs.

B) Find some kind of miracle Bathing suit..and some fancy ass cover ups.

C) Jump back into that hot tub and pray for a “Hot Tub time machine” moment so I could go back in time and get out of this situation!

D) Start dropping by Barbie and Ken’s house daily with homemade Lasagne's and baked goods, and try and fatten those two up!

E) Say screw it, buy some rose coloured sunglasses, a ton of Baileys, ban all cameras around the pool, forget the Mummy Tummy and try not to look directly at the perfection that is Barbie and Ken.

So what is an insecure girl to do? Guess I’m going with plan E with maybe a dash of B.

Sigh…worrying sucks. I wonder if the Barbie and Ken’s of the world ever sweat it?

Celebrating Sweetly With #EqualCanada

2012-02-06T21:52:00.000-05:00

What’s better then hot fresh Chocolate Chip Cookies on a cold winters night? Oh, how about hot fresh Chocolate Chip Cookies on a cold winters nights with fewer calories? Yes please!

My Hubby was away on another one of his “work” trips, golfing, and I had about six errands to get done and no motivation to do it. The thought of trying out a Valentines Day cookie recipe, um actually just eating the cookie dough at the end of it all, was all I needed to keep pushing through.

I wrote up the minutes from the PTA meeting, threw the laundry in, took the trash cans out, returned required phone calls and emails then created my list of “must gets” when we headed to Walmart. Binder for BlueEyes, printer paper, chocolate chips and a canister Equal for the new chocolate chip cookie recipe. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner it’s time for me to get my bake on!

I picked up the dear daughters after school and we were off! I love taking my girls to Walmart because we can grab everything we need in one place! Timesaver!

As we wandered through the Walmart store we headed to the baking section. No Equal there? A quick chat with a Walmart staff and we were pointed to the pharmacy and vitamin section! Huh, I guess this makes sense as Equal can be a healthy alternative to sugar. As we approached we could easily spot the bright yellow canisters of Equal on the shelves. My daughter scooped up one of the canister's and remarked on how light it was and yet much bigger then the bag of a similar product we had seen in the grocery aisle. Teaching them young to watch for those deals!

We rounded out our shopping by picking up a binder ( a very specific kind of pink binder, no flowers, but with pockets please), printer paper, and chocolate chips PLUS two bathing suits, pens and highlighters that were not on the list. Isn’t that always the way?

As soon as we got home my girls had a plan. It was cookie baking time and I was 100% behind this!! BlueEyes who I am soon going to have to rename BakerGirl printed off the chocolate chip recipe from the Equal Canada Facebook site and got busy. Really busy. She doubled the recipe! (You can also find Equal Canada on Twitter!)

The Equal canister was a snap to scoop out of, and even easier to clean up and store. No spilled granule's all over the counter or bottom of the baking cupboard. The recipe was easy to follow, and in no time at all I was presented with this!

These fabulous chocolate chip cookies with less guilt! Yummo! Thanks #EqualCanada !

Guess we know one of the cookies we will be making for Valentine’s Day!

This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias. #CBias All opinions are my own.

Hot Hop! $400 TARGET Gift Card Give Away!

2012-02-06T00:15:00.000-05:00

Hey all!

This is brand new to me but I’ve teamed up with a group of blogs to offer our readers a ridiculously fun giveaway.

We are giving away $400 in Target Gift Cards to one lucky person!

Please note you only need to enter once on any of the participating blogs as we all will have the same form. The giveaway is open to both US & Canada. I know Canada doesn’t have Target *yet*, but I didn’t want to exclude my fellow Canadians. You can always bring them with you for some cross-border shopping! Woo hoo! So here we go! Enter below!

Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The Anti Super Bowl Sunday

2012-02-05T06:16:00.000-05:00

Hubby is still away on his “work” trip. For the first time maybe ever, I find myself with no plans for Super Bowl Sunday! Am I sad about this? Not really. Usually we are the party throwers and the organizers of the parties. (although we haven’t been very good about it lately) As much as I love being the hostesses, I have to admit I hate the cleaning that comes with it. Lazy? Maybe, So no cleaning, no cooking, no party!

So what’s a girl to do on Super Bowl Sunday, her Hubby away and two pre-teen girls to educate on the finer points of football? Have an Anti Super Bowl Party for three of course.

Here’s the plan:

Football game turned on so we don’t miss any of the important stuff. You know, the commercials and the half time show.

During the actual football throwing and catching part we will do the fun girl stuff!

-Finger nail painting

-Cookie Baking. This idea from McCormick.com!

-Mozzarella stick eating. Love these ready to go numbers from M&M Meat Shops.

-On line Shopping…uh for warm clothes, because football is played outside and it's cold out there, so all good fans need to be prepared with a new cardy (and maybe some boots and a scarf) ! No better place to shop then Banana Republic because this weekend they are giving a “Quarter Back”. That’s 25% off and sticks to my football theme!

Yes, it is decided. Nail painting, baking, eating and shopping. This may prove to be one of the best Super Bowl Sunday’s of them all!

Hope you all enjoy your day! Oh and Go Manning!

Seeking Revenge On The Dude Who Parks In The Drop Off Only Zone

2012-02-03T07:00:00.000-05:00

My Hubby is away. He is on a “work” vacation. Yah, five minutes discussing work followed by six rounds of golf, seven marathon card games and a ridiculous amount of eating and drinking. I’m okay with it. Really.

I’m just tired and as it turns out, a tad whiny.

Want to hear something ironic? When the Hubby is here I complain that I can’t sleep because he snores so damn loud. When he’s not here, I can’t sleep because the house is too quiet. Gee, waffle much?

Anyway, this lack of sleep, this single parenting, doing all the driving, all the cooking (oh did I ever mention that the Hubs does a good deal of the cooking thus creating a super spoiled wife) and all the EVERYTHING is making me a tad short tempered.

When I pulled into the parking lot to pick my girls up after school, my head was pounding, I was cold and miffed because it was snowing again ~~stupid groundhog knows nothing~~ and there he was….. “the I don’t care about the rules, I am completely self involved and I will park wherever the bleep I want man”. I actually just refer to him as Pervy BMW Guy, because he’s got that going for him too. This man, he parks WHERE EVER he wants with no regard for children’s safety, rules of the road, or just plain old common courtesy.

Handicapped spot. He parks there.

Principals spot. He parks there.

Block the busses in? Yep, that’s him.

Today, when I got to the school, Pervy BMW Guy was blocking the Pick Up Only area of the parking lot. It’s pretty self explanatory. It’s PICK UP ONLY. You drive up, pick up, get out of there. Not park your slimy butt there and stare at all the Mama’s butts as they hustle out of their cars to get their children. Sigh. Rude.

I circled around the crowded school parking lot twice. My girls came skipping out of school and into the pick up only area. I pulled behind Pervy BMW Guy and promptly got good and blocked in. I counted to 10. Still blocked in. I gave him a little wave to get him to move forward. Nope, still blocked in. Then I did what every over tired, super grumpy, cold, headachy Mama in the suburbs would do…... I leaned on that horn with all my might and threw that perv the finger!

Bah! No I didn’t, but I did grind my teeth and toot my little Volvo horn.

Such a ~~chicken~~ rebel.

Next steps, plotting real revenge on all who cross the Mama’s by blocking the Pick Up Only. All ideas welcome, cause clearly I need help.

The Driven To Quit Challenge – Win A Car!

2012-02-02T09:20:00.001-05:00

Are you a smoker? Do you know a smoker?

When I was growing up I had a few smokers in my family. They grew up in tobacco country, everybody farmed tobacco, worked tobacco and they smoked. It’s just the way it was. However, it didn’t stop “young me” from sneaking around, scheming with my sister and plotting ways to get my loved one’s to quit. We stole their cigarettes, we reasoned, we begged. What we didn’t understand was that two little girls were never going to be able to provide powerful enough incentive to butt out.

I wish this challenge had been around….

I have just been introduced to The Driven To Quit Challenge and I'm thrilled to help spread the word. This my smoking friends, this may just be the incentive you’ve been waiting for. Check this out:

The Driven to Quit Challenge invites Ontario tobacco users to break their addiction and earn a chance to win a new car, a dream vacation or cash!

Hello? A new car!!

Who can enter?

This challenge is open to residents of Ontario, over the age of 19, who have used tobacco for at least once a week for a minimum of 10 months in 2011, and 100 times in your life. It’s being hosted by the Canadian Cancer Society, Ontario Division and funded by the Government of Ontario.

What can you win?

Ready for this!! You can win a choice of a new Ford Fusion hybrid or Ford Edge. Other prizes include two $5,000 CAA travel vouchers and seven prizes of $2,000 cash!

Below are some pictures from the launch day!

So what do you have to do?

Get registered by February 29, 2012.

Quit smoking by or before March 1st, and stay tobacco free for the month of March.

A couple of rules of course:

The Driven to Quit Challenge asks that all who participate sign up with a support buddy. Your buddy has a chance to win $200 cash! All other rules can be found here.

To register, and for further details about The Driven to Quit Challenge, Ontarians can go to www.DrivenToQuit.ca

Registration is only open until February 29, 2012.

So what are you waiting for? It’s time to quit!

Disclosure: The previous is a sponsored post, however the opinions reflected are my own.

Our Mantra

2012-02-01T06:03:00.000-05:00

This sign hangs in my kitchen.

It serves as a daily reminder of a promise made, and blessings that abound.

In our marriage, with our family and our closest of friends,

one thing remains certain. Love….

Forever and Always and no Matter What.

Impulse Purchases equals . . . Granny Panties?

2012-01-30T07:01:00.000-05:00

Oh good grief it’s happened! I was shopping at Costco, buzzing around picking up all the things a modern Mama needs to survive in the Suburbs. You know, 10 pounds of chocolate chips, 36 rolls of toilet paper, 15 Chicken Breasts and 3 loaves of bread when out of the corner of my eye, I spotted them. A package of six women’s briefs for less then what I usually spend on one itty bitty pair at my usual place. I had to bring my giant ass grocery cart to a stop and take a look at the plastic tube that contained this sweet deal. PLASTIC TUBE. Huh. Turns out I’m a bit of an underwear snob because this tube of panties was making me all kinds of dubious. Inside the tube were six pairs of neatly rolled up “Woman’s Briefs” ranging in colour from black to hot pink to polka dot. How bad could they be if they have polka dots? They were described as “Flattering and High Cut”. Hmmm, I looked around the giant Costco, you know, to make sure there wasn’t anyone around I knew ~~because I’m super mature like that~~, and saw the coast was clear. Grabbed myself one of those tubes and threw it in my oversized cart. No one would ever notice that tiny purchase surrounded by a giant bottle of pickles and 9 cans of tuna. Proud of myself for my stealth like behaviour and effort to save money on lingerie, I strutted to the checkout.

Later in the day I unpacked my newly purchased “lingerie” and what did I discover? I was now the proud owner of what can only be described as Granny Panties.

Crap. SIX pairs of them.

Apparently “High cut” can also be loosely translated to “Urkel style, easily mistaken for a T-shirt, or my kids could use them for a parachute panties”. Sigh.

This guy …he’s not one I usually take fashion advice from.

However, not one easily scared away by a challenge, I tried on my new purchase….and nearly peed in my brand new leopard print Granny Panties. Who wears underwear this ugly? That ride up so high they stick out over the top of your pants? That your Grandma wears? Wait a second….Huh. Maybe Mamas who want to be comfortable?

No NO!! I took off those Granny Panties, threw them under my “giving up on life, I don’t give a crap what they look like because they are the most comfy PJ’s in the world pyjama bottoms” and made a pact with myself to never EVER wear them again. Or you know, until it’s laundry day, and the Hubby’s away, and it’s really cold out and I need an extra layer of clothes to keep me warm. But only then!

Sigh. I am getting old, but not Granny Panty old.

Escaping The Cold at Castaway Bay, and a Give Away!

2012-01-27T07:07:00.002-05:00

Lately is seems life has been revolving around what we “have” to do. Kids are shuttled from school, to dance, to piano, to gymnastics. Homework is completed, dinner is crammed in. Where is the family time? The down time? It feels dark all the time, life is hurried and we live in a constant state of rush. This is not what I want for my family.

When I was offered the opportunity to whisk my loved one’s away to Castaway Bay in Ohio it seemed like it was meant to be. Time away from the hustle, the bustle, the computers and the phones? Yes please. Sign us up!

Following a freak blizzard that covered our city in a blanket of horrible white stuff, the Hubby and I bravely packed up our girls, a cooler of snackage and we were on our way! Final destination, Sandusky Ohio, Castaway Bay, where it is always a balmy 82 degrees!!

We arrived and were warmly greeted by the Castaway Bay staff. Check in was fast and seamless. We received the key card to our rooms, ID bracelets (that also were our passes into the water park), and directions to the main attraction. The Castaway Bay Water Park.

My girls skipped down the hall towards our room, dragging their carry on’s behind them. Do you have any idea how cute that is? We entered our room, the Manatee Suite, and were pleasantly surprised by what we found! Ideally located just a stones throw from both the Crabbie’s Quarterdeck Arcade and the Waterpark, was our suite with a perfect floor plan for a family of four.

In the first Caribbean style room was complete with two Queen size beds, a television and a little table and chairs over looking the bay. The adjoining room housed a King size bed, a second television and an identical table set up. How great is that view! Oh if only it was a little warmer so would could have taken advantage of this fabulous outdoor space.

The King sized bed room also had what is best described as a mini kitchen! A mini bar, counter space, coffee maker and microwave.

The two rooms shared one big bathroom. The bathroom was showing it’s age a little bit, but more then did it’s job for our family of four. Tour of the room complete, we wasted no time jumping into our suits and headed to check out the waterpark!

Now I should tell you, I am always cold. Actually, I think I have been cold for about three months, but when we walked through the doors of this indoor tropical paradise and were met by balmy air and sweet Caribbean music….Sigh, I had finally found a happy place! So warm!!

We staked out chairs near the wave pool and got on with the business of enjoying our day.

Giggles in the Wave Pool.

Races Down the Water Slides.

Basketball in the Heated Pool, and challenging each other at the Cargo Crossing.

Countless number of runs down Rendezvous Run.

Exploring Lookout Lagoon.

….and the glorious hot tub. A hot tub that can seat 91!! Oh my word how I enjoyed that indoor/outdoor hot tub. Sigh…so tingly and warm!

Eventually we did leave the water park and explored the rest of what Castaway Bay had to offer. We feasted on pizza for dinner, created keepsakes with the cutest ever Castaway Bay T-shirts, and had the opportunity to meet Snoopy!

We checked out the gift shops and watched some talented little one’s sing their hearts out at Karaoke night. My little gamers used up their allowance (and then some) at Crabbie’s Quarterback Arcade, and we all indulged in some hot chocolate at Ebb & Edy’s Deli before we finally called it a night. So tired!

Castaway Bay was clean, incredibly well supervised with friendly and accommodating staff, and allowed you to set your own pace. Choose to laze away your day at the water park, or run run run and jam in the activities by taking advantage of the Spa, shopping, arcade, and all the scheduled family fun you and your loved one’s can handle.

We played, we laughed, we re-connected as a family. We forgot about the world for a while. What a gift. These are the moments my children will always remember, these are the memories I want to give my girls.

Thanks Castaway Bay for a great weekend!

Of course I can’t just leave it at that! What a horrible tease it would be to brag about my stay at Castaway Bay and offer you nothing! How about a little giveaway?!

Do you live in the Ohio area?

I have Four Indoor Waterpark Day Passes to give away!

Approximate Value $120.00!!!

*Please note. These are passes for the Waterpark only, accommodations are not included.

How to Enter:

1) If you would like to win these passes just tell me so in a comment! (and leave me your e-mail address!)

2) Want a second chance at winning? I’d love it if you would LIKE my Facebook fan page.

3) One more way to win! Follow my blog publicly and/or tell me that you do!

*Winner will be chosen using random.org. Closes Friday Feb 3, 2012. Giveaway is for day passes only. Open to US and Canadian Residents!

Wishing you all a warm and wonderful weekend!

Safe Travels

Mwah!

*Disclosure: My family stayed at Castaway Bay as their guests, the opinions in this post are my own and were not influenced by accommodation.

UPDATE
We have a winner:) Congrats to number 2!! You are the winner of the passes:) Have a wonderful time as you escape the suburbs!

I Can Be Bought

2012-01-25T07:00:00.001-05:00

Sometimes money isn’t a big enough currency. Cold hard cash might be nice, but it’s not what this Mama really wants!

After a night with precious little sleep I will trade you just about whatever you want for a Grande Chi Tea Latte.

Hubby, he can name his price for a back rub with no strings.

Kids want extra time at the computer? They “pay” for it by being quiet.

He’s willing to take the kids to the Dentist so I don’t have to. Now I owe him the world. (I’m ridiculously scared of that ~~creep in the white mask~~ Dentist guy)

If Hubby needs a big favour from me he knows what tricks to try; dangle a love letter in front of me, build a big fire in the fireplace, sit and chat about vacation plans for the future, dream with me about all that is to come…..I’m freakin putty in his hands. Pathetic.

Does this mean my currency is coffee, backrubs, quiet time and love letters? Uh, Yep, all that and chocolate.

You want to negotiate with me?

Turns out it’s pretty easy, I can be bought.

Dreading Specky The Speculum

2012-01-23T07:01:00.000-05:00

I can feel it already. Tomorrow is going to be one of those days. It’s the annual event all women dread, we put it off and yet we know we simply must do it. It’s the annual physical. (uh note to the men folk who read my blog, you might want to just move along now, this post is not for you)

Tomorrow morning I will shower as if I am getting ready for a date where I know I’m going to get some uhhhh attention? I will shave, lather and be sure I am extra super squeaky clean. Why? Not because I am looking forward to some “come hither” time with someone I love, but because I have a date with the cold hard invasive claw that is known as the speculum. Frankly, this kind of date sucks!

It’s not just the little blue sheet, the humiliating weigh in, the making small talk with a kindly Doctor as she examines your privates, the boob check…it’s the dread that builds up to this day!

It’s trying to figure out which socks weigh the very least (every ounce counts on those scales). Which underwear and bra are “Doctor” appropriate, and for this self confessed hypochondriac it’s talking myself off the preverbal ledge. What if she finds something? What if these constant headaches are more then just headaches? What if the gnawing ache in my stomach is more then the “simple” ulcer I have decided it is and my well meaning Doctor scares the crap out of me with a litany of tests. Oh she does like to order tests.

Sigh. Stupid to worry, worse to complain about having access to health care.

Perhaps tomorrow I will get lucky. Maybe Specky the Speculum will be warmed up and waiting for me under a heat lamp, maybe it will be quick and painless, maybe I will weigh less then I think I do, maybe she will prescribe an anti-biotic for my “oh so simple to diagnose stomach ache” and all this worrying will be for naught. Maybe.

A girl can dream right. Sometimes being a women is so much more complicated then it seems.

Never Under Estimate The Power of Flowers

2012-01-22T07:00:00.002-05:00

My Hubby’s doing it again. Gleefully texting his “boyfriends” (can I call them that?), talking with wild gestures on the phone, and firing off e-mails to these buddies, and guess what? NONE of it is about me! Dramatic POUT. Yes, the Dear Husband is planning his annual golf trip with “The Boys”. Sigh. I’m not against some quality dude time, after all, I need time with my gurrrls, but does he have to be so darn excited about it? Enough already!

Thankfully, as this annual event has been happening for a few years now, he’s learned a few tricks. One of these, flowers make everything better! Yep, I said flowers. Flowers have power!! I may be a modern Mama, but this doesn’t mean that when Hubby’s away, and I hear the door bell ring to find I have received flowers by post, that I am not the swooniest, old fashioned, over the top joyful, skipping around the kitchen kinda girl in the world. Happiness! For me, a delivery of flowers remains a romantic, sweet, loving gesture that reminds me my dear Hubby is thinking of me even when he is away! (what a very smart man)

Lucky for Dear Hubby ordering some gorgeous Calla Lilies, Gerber Daises, Orchids, or good old fashioned roses has never been easier. Creative and talented florists are easily found with the click of a mouse, and the gorgeous arrangements can be delivered right to your loved one’s doorstep.

So a note to all the men out there. Looking for a way to unexpectedly brighten someone's day? Flowers aren’t just for Mother’s Day, Valentine's Day, or to make up for a big fat mistake. Flowers chosen with care, and arriving on your significant other’s door step for no reason at all…. those hold the most power of all.

Disclosure: Pictures courtesy of Interflora. This post was written on behalf of Interflora, however all opinions are my own.

I’m Either Very Old Or Just Getting Easier To Please

2012-01-19T07:00:00.000-05:00

Not that long ago, I was a girl who was excited about the prospect of a night out. Oh and by “night out” I mean wearing my fancy heels, dinner at a nice restaurant, dancing with my gurrrls wearing my “bar” clothes, and making enough noise to be slightly north of obnoxious.

Suddenly I realize, me definition of a good time has changed. Dramatically. You know what excites me now? Prepare yourself, you may not be able to handle the awesomeness of it all….

-A night in. Put the kids to bed early. Have a late dinner, watch a rented movie and SPLIT a beer with my man. I am such a rebel!

Oh it gets worse. Prepare yourself for the other blow your socks off events things that I find extremely titillating. Ready?

-The Dollar Sale at the Grocery Store. Seriously, when I walk in and find out I can buy a bag of cookies, a bag of apples, a bottle of shampoo, a giant jar of pasta sauce and a huge carton of chocolate milk for FIVE bucks I am text my girlfriends, call my Hubby and spread the news happy. Pathetic.

-Kids get invited to a play date at the same time. The stars must have aligned because this means I have just scored an hour to myself. Love.

-Hubby surprises me by bringing me home a cup of coffee. (Large, double cream) Very Happy.

-Hitting all the lights green on the way home during carpool. Yes, this brings me joy.

-Finding some chocolate left in my super secret chocolate stash. Bliss.

So does this make me altogether too easy to please? Have I lost a little of my zest for it all? Nah, thinking I’m just in a happy place right now. Must be that, cause I don’t feel super old and pathetic…..?

Coffee With A Girlfriend and A Dirty Old Man?

2012-01-17T07:01:00.000-05:00

Today I finally had time to sit and get caught up with a girlfriend. Granted, that coffee was in the middle of a busy mall food court, but this still counts as quality girl time!

As with all girl chats, we started with the polite chat before we got into the good stuff. You know; how are we really doing, how are the kids, what is making us want to pull our hair out or cry bittersweet tears. Oh, and maybe a little bit of gossip too! Anyway, just as we start getting down to it, a gentleman who I would guess to be in his mid 80’s leaned over from his table and interjected with a little remark about an article in todays paper. An article about a very bad man taking very bad pictures. (um foreshadowing?) We politely responded, and then got back to our ~~gossip~~ conversation.

Five minutes later the “gentleman” was on the move. He approached our table, picked up my giant purse, moved it out of his way and made himself quite at home with us, at our table. (Nervy!!) “Move over there, I’m going to sit and talk to you, I come here at noon everyday and am such a people person” he declared. He might have been old, but he was a quick one! This lonely old man had made himself comfortable IN MY SPACE before I even had time to register what was happening!

Okay, so he was a lonely old soul right? We could put our conversation on hold for a few minutes and have a wee chat with a sweet little old man right? (this of course is the super secret silent conversation that is exchanged between my girlfriend and I with nothing more then a glance ) At first the gentleman was just as expected…a sweet little old man, VERY quickly telling us his story of his many years in the military, his dear wife in a nursing home with Alzheimer's, and his eleven children. He even had pictures. Cute right?

Ahhh, but then the tides turned! Conversation turned to “How his life sucked.” (his words, not mine) His language started getting a little more colourful? There was complaining about the Grandkids, getting his parts touched at the doctors office, talk of boobies, telling us we should “respect” our Husbands, back to the war, back to his wife and how her life is great because she is the sick one and he is the one suffering, again with the cursing. Ug. Now I was getting uncomfortable. My first assumption of “Awe, poor old lonely guy.” had turned into “Ew…time to get away from Dirty Old Man. Red Light Person. Red Light Person!”

Pretty sure my girlfriend was starting to feel the same. As much as I’d love to help brighten this strangers day with a little friendly chit chat….this was no longer feeling friendly.

I sorta kinda obviously checked my watch a couple of times, then we politely made our escape. Sigh. Sorry dear old “gentleman”. Next time you want to make small talk with a couple of Mama’s from the Suburbs, stick to the sweet talk of Grandkids or even the troubles with your wife. Leave out the cursing, private pokey doctors visits and the boobie talk. Your audience will last longer.

It Even Impressed My Husband…

2012-01-16T07:00:00.000-05:00

I just ran in the rain from the mailbox to my front door. A BIG brown box clutched to my chest to protect it from the wicked weather. Once inside, my fingers actually shook as I tore open the box, so eager to see what was inside. What was waiting for me? Memories. Better then any scrap book I could have created, better then all my photos casually stuffed in a box. A beautiful book from Bellflower Books.

Let me explain, last May my Hubby and I took the vacation of a lifetime. We had saved and planned and even used a little more room on the credit card then we should have so that I could be ridiculously selfish and celebrate my 40th Birthday in Paris France. Its a trip I will never forget. Or will I? Here it is, eight months later and the details were starting to get a little foggy? What was the name of that restaurant we loved so much? Do you recall the name of the Avenue we used to stroll down every single day, and the place with the famous Hot Chocolate was called???

Enter Bellflower Books with an opportunity to create a memory book like no other! A way to help us preserve those precious memories.

I quickly set up an account on their site. Here’s the link www.bellflowerbooks.com …trust me, you will want it! At this point you are able to invite other authors, friends, family members to contribute a page. Hmmm….we have a big family getaway this August. Three generations of family going to stay at a cottage together, this might be a great way to preserve those moments!

Now that my account is set up, we are ready for the fun to begin.

Pick the style of book you like. So many to choose from! Here is just a very small sample of what is available:

The rest is easy! Create a name for your 1st page, select a picture you would like to go with it, download, and then write your heart out.

Create as many pages as you like!

Want to see a few of mine? Of course you do!

*These screen shots do not begin to exemplify how gorgeous these glossy pages really are!

Once you are done writing, you can go back, edit and even re-arrange pages.

Note: One thing I did not do well enough was proof read before I submitted! I found two errors! (I was just two excited to get the book submitted!!) So my tip to you, proof read and then have someone else read your work and double check!

Use the easy to follow payment instructions and you are done!

Now all you have to do is wait for the delivery.

The waiting is the hardest part.

As I have just now finished pouring over MY creation I truly have tears streaming down my face. Paris was magic, and now thanks to Bellflower Books those memories are easier to share with friends, family and these incredible moments are preserved for a lifetime!

If you have a trip, a special event, a summer of fun you want to capture, or are looking for a unique gift, I can’t think of a better way to do it then with Bellflower Books!

I’m happy to announce that this wonderful company has offered my US readers a $20.00 discount on the creation of their own Bellflower Book!! Just use the code SAVE20GC as you check out! You can also find them on twitter and Facebook. Don’t be shy about stopping by to say Hello!

I hope you have as much fun creating your Bellflower Book as I did!

Disclosure: I received a Bellflower Book as compensation for this review. The opinions in this post are my own.

Fashionable Shoes and Broken Teeth

2012-01-13T08:01:00.000-05:00

Turns out I have a catch phrase…or two! Advice from the Suburbs. Words to live by? Maybe! Ready?

#1. Fashion Before Function.

Yes, those Christian Louboutin Shoes look and are AMAZING!! I might have picked up a pair of these little beauties in Paris. Le Sigh. They are beautiful and even tone my legs and butt, you know, because the heels are ridiculously high. The problem, I can only wear them for about four hours before my back is screaming at me and my toes are bordering on numb. Comfortable they are not. TOO BAD! Suck it up girlfriends. The rule is Fashion Before Function!

#2 Protect The Pretty

(Warning. Horribly graphic picture ahead)

Ready…..

Here comes the sad sad picture of pretty gone horribly wrong…

Eeeekkk!!

Now, where was I? Oh yes, Protect The Pretty.

I AM CANADIAN!! All the man boys yell this as they head out onto the ice WITHOUT cages on their pretty little faces. Why? Why would you not put a piece of steel between you and wooden sticks and flying chunks of rubber? Well, because they are MEN, they ~~are stupid and disillusioned and under the mistaken impression that they~~ can stop the pucks from hitting them in the chops with sheer will power!

This is “Will”. *Name changed to protect the ~~dumb~~ pretty.

Looks as if “Will” forgot his Superman cape this cold Canadian day, the price….five teeth and a broken jaw. This is not pretty. This is painful and expensive. He did not heed my advice, because he, like all other Men, are too cool for cages. Remember Canadian or not, when you step out on that ice, Protect The Pretty.

So common sense, words to live by or just my brand of blonde advice? Meh, I don’t know, but it’s been working for me!

Be careful in your heels and out on the ice this weekend!
Mwah!

Crushing on Inanimate Objects - Loving Toshiba

2012-01-12T15:07:00.000-05:00

I am jinxed. Well, when it comes to electronics anyway. As a matter of fact, my loving Hubby has “banned” me from touching his laptop. (Yeah, so he doesn’t have to know I touch touch TOUCH it just to spite him ALL the time) Ahem. Anyway, back to me. I have managed to kill one computer, one cell phone and no matter how careful I was with my notebook, I hung it, froze it and ended up cursing at that thing just about every single day. Me and pretty electronic things just don’t get along. Until now!!!

Enter into my world this super pretty Toshiba Satellite L745 Laptop.

She arrived on my doorstep all wrapped up in bubble paper. I might have “squeed” a bit as I unwrapped her shiny newness.

Ta Da!

Now that I have been using the Toshiba Satellite L745 Laptop for more then a month I can say with confidence that there are many reasons it is the perfect laptop for me….for you!

*It is user friendly.

*It is light weight ( I take her everywhere)

*It has a 14” HD Screen!

*It has a built in DVD player.

*Boasts more then 8G of memory, more storage then I will ever need.

*I have to discuss the keypad. Having gone through my share of keyboards, I have to tell you I love the touch, the feel, of the keys. It sounds like a silly thing, but it makes a difference!

*The laptop has built in stereo speakers.

*An integrated web cam.

*Ports include a place where I can slide my full size memory card. (no more hunting for the camera cord to hook up!)

*The battery life on this laptop lasts FOREVER! I have gone more then 5 hours without having to plug in!

*One other feature that must be mentioned…face recognition! Very Star Trek!! Toshiba explains this futuristic feature like as follows:

Log on—with just a smile.

Toshiba Face Recognition is the ultimate hands-free, hassle-free way to logon to your laptop. No keeping track of hard-to-remember passwords. No unnecessary typing. Just your unique visage gazing into the built-in Webcam on your notebook and presto―you’ve got access! How’s that for sci-fi technology?

I would describe it as extraordinary!!

In summary, the Toshiba Satellite L745 is the perfect, reliable and budget friendly choice for students, bloggers, and Mamas alike!

As I made my way through University, work and now my blogging career, I have used and abused many brands of laptops. I can say in all honesty this Toshiba Satellite Laptop has been by far my favourite! Confession, I’m crushing on my Toshiba Laptop.

Disclosure: This post was written as part of a Toshiba Brand Ambassador Program, all thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.

Warm and Fuzzy Feelings Can Get You Through

2012-01-11T06:21:00.000-05:00

My children are healthy.

Hubby is snoring beside me.

Cat is fat, funky and funny.

The Dog is a senior citizen and regularly emits what can only be described as toxic fumes.

The house is full of laughter, hormones and sometimes tears.

There are celebrations to look forward to, and dreams not yet come true.

There are hard times behind us, and challenges ahead.

I’m ready.

Life is beautiful, messy and ever changing, and I know I am blessed.

I wouldn’t change a thing.

Tips For Surviving A Sleep Over In The Suburbs

2012-01-09T07:00:00.000-05:00

1. First, we need to change the name of these damn things. These events are in no way “Sleep” overs. “Stay” ~~screaming, giggling, eating, being as loud as humanely possibly~~ overs. This would be much more accurate!

2. Caffeine is required. New rule for a more civilized suburb society: If you take your daughter to one of these “Stay” overs, take along a cup of coffee for the stressed out hostess, she’s gonna need it. (and quite possibly develop a super mad girl crush on you)

3. Food. You think you have enough? You don’t. Pre-teen girls are like pit bulls. Cute and innocent looking on the outside, much like a starving pack of wild animals when put together in a pack. All the gossiping, laughing and random dancing makes them bottomless pits.

4. Stock up on Tylenol, Advil or whatever is your current headache drug of choice. If the ear splitting rendition of 12 girls singing along to “Fat Bottom Girls they make the rockin girls go round!!” Glee style doesn't get you, all the head shaking from the “I can’t believe I just heard that.” to “Did they just eat 6 pizzas, 3 bags of chips, a giant bowl of popcorn and a platter of fruit?” will. Promise.

5. Prepare yourself for a reality check. You know how you secretly think you are kind of a cool Mom? You know firm but friendly and often with good hair? Well, at about 2:15am when it is getting noticeably louder instead of dying down to a dull roar, this perception of yourself will be changed in a big bad way. You will no longer be a cool Mom. Sadness. You will be the Mom going down two flights of stairs in your Lulu yoga pants (cool Mom) all stompy like to tell those girls it is time to “SHOOSH” ( uncool Mom) Being a grown up is hard.

6. LAST. The next morning when you have served waffles, bacon, fruit and three kinds of juice to an extra ten bleary eyed girls and you are feeling kinda proud, and slightly victorious for making it through the night unscathed….DON’T! The worst part of the “Stay” over is yet to come ~ the emotional, teary eyed, exhausted, refused to take a nap because she is a teenager now and doesn’t need one part!! Deep breath.

Ahhh, isn’t life grand!

Party Mama, Suburbs Style?

2012-01-06T07:01:00.000-05:00

My “baby” turns thirteen this week. Thirteen. I am so not ready to be the Mama of a teenager. This thrusts us into a whole new era of well, everything!! Including birthday parties? I actually thought we might be done with parties. I like a good birthday party, but I am not one of those crazed “Party Mamas”. For one fleeting ~~insane must have forgotten who my kid was~~ moment I thought we could just grab one or two good friends and go to a movie and dinner? Yah, I was way wrong. Do you know how hard it is for an almost thirteen year old girl to pick just TWO friends to do something special with? Do you know how many social pitfalls a pre-teen can encounter if she steps on toes, leaves someone out, picks the wrong friends??? Sigh, girl drama. The solution? Mama throws a big ole fashioned sleep over party. Tally of screaming pre-teens. Ten ~~and counting~~. I better start upping my caffeine intake now. It’s going to be a very very long weekend.

One thing this Mama did decide to put her foot down on; Loot bags. Teenagers don’t need loot bags….but they do need some sort of “thanks for coming to my paartee” parting gift right? (I may not be a party Mama, but I do have a little bit of social grace.)

Here is what BlueEyes and I came up with!

Cookies….. in a jar! I’m no Martha, but seriously, these are super cute.

Every dry ingredient you need to create delish oatmeal, smartie, chocolate chip cookies.

Layer them up all pretty like in a mason jar, add some fun ribbon, attach a recipe card and voila! Super cuteness in a jar. (I know, maybe too cute, but cut me some slack I’m trying to hang onto a little bit of cute for my baby’s 13th Birthday. Sniff)

First problem of my dear daughters thirteenth year solved, just about ohh 356 more to go!

I have a feeling 13 is going to be interesting!

Does Facebook Make Mean Girls, Meaner?

2012-01-05T07:00:00.000-05:00

I am the last great resister. Well, at least according to my oldest ~~slightly dramatic completely normal~~ daughter. Up until this week I have flat out refused to allow my almost 13 year old to “get” facebook. Even as the compliments were thrown at me: “Please Best Mom in the world!” “You are AWESOME” “You so don’t look 40 Mom”. (Okay that last one might have helped, that and she turns 13 this week so facebook thinks the kid is old enough to have an account)

So why am I anti- facebook for my kids when I boast 3600 Facebook friends, love them all and am a tad addicted to the site?

I think it’s kind of evil!

It breeds insecurity.

Creates opportunities for jealousy. You can quickly feel left out, left behind and forgotten.

Discourages true communication between peers.

It makes mean girls….meaner? You know that girl in High School who was always Look at me! Look at me! (because they were the prettiest, the smartest, have the most stuff and were clearly having more fun then you? Facebook gives them a chance to virtually rub it in your face, crow it from….well their status updates. All. The. Time. ) I know some of these ~~unthinking kinda obnoxious~~ peeps are exaggerating or just being braggy and boastful, but will my 13 year old daughter see this pathetic cry for attention for what it is?

If I continue to be a hold out (a serious contradiction for a social media addict) what kind of message is that? Do as I say, not as I do? I am so not that Mama. Besides, she is truly one of the last “non-facebookers” in grade 7. Am I hurting her socially? Is this holding her back? Am I a big fat meanie?

Facebook is supposed to help my daughter stay in touch with her girlfriends…uh maybe even some boys, but what if instead it makes her jealous, anxious, stressed and sad. What if those mean girls she has encountered in real life take a stab at her in cyberspace?

I know I can’t protect her forever, but gee, like life isn’t hard enough already. Sigh. This Mom thing doesn’t get any easier does it.

Decision made. I caved. Rules were set, warnings were given. Mean girls watch out cause this social media Mama has her eye on you!

Wish us much luck…it’s going to be an interesting ride.

Awkward Moments Courtesy Of Granny?

2012-01-03T07:03:00.000-05:00

So I kind of thought I was the pioneer in this family of writing the passive aggressive love letters, voicing my inner most thoughts for the entire world to see, you know getting it all down on “paper”.

Turns out I am but a babe. My Granny, she is the grand dame of letters and poetry and she showed her stuff at Christmas.

As I lay upstairs ~~tossing my cookies~~ having my pity party for one. My fabulous Hubby carried on and made sure my entire family still had Christmas. This included drinks, appetizers, a full turkey dinner and of course the traditional gift opening. This year, with a twist. My sweet old Granny, in her 93rd year, had written MY Husband a poem and recited it aloud for the entire family. I missed the whole damn thing. Don’t worry, don’t worry! I got my hands on a copy!!! So without further adieu, a poem, from MY Grandmother to MY Husband. Oh yes, let the Awkward begin.

(and for the record I adore my Grandmother and think her brilliant beyond words…I just don’t have a clue where the hell this poem came from? Perhaps it was helped along with some Sherry? )

Dear B

Do you remember our Christmas last year

When you opened your gift with the greatest of cheer

Only to see half a bottle of wine (Oh yes she did. Last year she gave him a HALF a bottle. That’s how she rolls)

And cried with great sorrow “Is this truly mine?”

So this year the bottle is full to the brim

For you to enjoy and to keep yourself trim

And never for get that I wish you much joy

For my Grand-Daughters Lover’s a really great boy!

Oh. YES. SHE. DID.

Oh Grandma. Sigh. You are one of a kind. Thanks for the giggle and helping to make this Christmas one we will never forget.