How to talk to a tech

Whoa there buddy!

2010-08-26T08:31:00.000-07:00

Don't click that!

Stating the Obvious

2010-05-12T10:27:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd run out of things to talk about here. So I haven't been posting much. Today I got a case via email that said this:

Customer:

Today I received the following message from my server:

'This products content license on server ServersName will soon expire.
You will need to renew your license to continue using the product."
Please contact your sales rep, or visit: http://site.that.helps.you.buy.a.license.com to renew your license.'

Please advise me as to how to remedy this.

Thank you,
J

Now I'm thinking... Really? You actually don't know what to do with this so you EMAIL me?? It tells you what to do. It tells you you need to renew your license, and gives you a link to go to to get that done. Now c'mon. Use your brain. You get paid twice as much as I do to do your job, the least you can do is read. Really. I mean... jeez.

Then on top of it all, you took the time to email me, which is FAR more difficult than clicking the link that was provided in the email you copy/pasted to me.

Repeating myself again.

2010-04-09T09:02:00.000-07:00

In an effort to be fresh and not talk about the same thing twice I have led myself into a corner of not being able to talk at all. It seems that customers are full of crap, but their idiosyncrasies are pretty common. One customer or ten, they're all the same. Since I pretty much only use analogies, the stories are interchangeable and apply to multiple customers all at once, cause, I'm cool like that. lol

Anyway, so that's why I've been putting off writing on this blog. Maybe I'll get back into the groove. If not, then at least you can enjoy what I've already written. :)

Have a good one!

How to: IIS (restarting)

2009-01-19T07:33:00.000-08:00

Well, here's another in my small series on how to do things an admin needs to know how to do.
This one relates to IIS (Internet Information Services) which is the service, or rather series of services, that hosts connections to your server. This is also what holds up OWA and your web portal if you are self hosting.
Sample from a blog article I wrote:

One thing alot of admins don't know, is that you should never EVER restart the actual IIS service from the Services console. It's not because this sort of restart can cause harm, it's really because when you stop the IIS service several other services are stopped at the same time.

These services are dependent on IIS to run correctly. When IIS is restarted incorrectly, it doesn't usually come up with a list of services that were stopped during that time. Unless you have all these services memorized, it's best to not do an IIS restart this way.

Instead, it would be preferable to restart IIS with the methods I've outlined for you below. These will restart most of the services that IIS pulls down and will allow your system to resume regular operation the soonest.

Pre-note: The instructions below are for IIS 6.x and higher. In IIS 5 the instructions should be similar, but without the "All Tasks" portion.

My favorite method of restarting IIS is from the actual IIS console:

1. Click Start and go to Programs > Administrative Tools > Internet Information Services (IIS) Manager

2. In IIS, right-click and go to All Tasks > Restart IIS

3. In the window that pops up for confirmation click OK

You will then see a status window to let you know of your progress. It generally takes 2-4 minutes for the process to complete. You may be tempted to hit the End Now button, but typically I like to let this process flow naturally.

Note: If this takes longer than a few minutes to restart, or if it hangs, this may be an indication that there is a problem with your IIS. You may want to consider checking out Microsoft's website for more information, or instructions on how to reinstall IIS.

This is another method to restart from a console, this time from the Windows management console:

1. Right-click My Computer and go to Manage

2. Expand Services and Applications

3. Right-click Internet Information Services (IIS) Manager and go to All Tasks > Restart IIS

And lastly, from the command prompt:

1. From the Start menu, click Run.

2. In the Open box, type cmd, and click OK.

3. At the command prompt, type iisreset /noforce , and press ENTER.
(Note: You can also just type iisreset in most cases this will do the same thing.)

4. IIS attempts to stop all services before restarting.

The IISReset command-line utility waits up to one minute for all services to stop. If the services cannot be stopped within one minute, all IIS services are terminated, and IIS restarts.

Ok, so that's it. I have a MS article linked below for you to look at too, if you need it. :) Enjoy!!

Here's a Microsoft TechNet article with more detailed information about IIS.
http://www.microsoft.com/technet/prodtechnol/WindowsServer2003/Library/IIS/003ed2fe-6339-4919-b577-6aa965994a9b.mspx?mfr=true

I recommend that you hang up now.

2009-01-07T07:19:00.000-08:00

Everyday I get someone who asks me to make a recommendation on what they should do with their software. They don't like making their own choices. Basically they want the program to do everything they need it to do out of the box or they want to call up and have us tell them exactly what to click.

This is a lot like going to a store and expecting the cashier to tell you what you should buy. Especially after all you've told them is that you have a three-bedroom house and a car. So, ok, the cashier figures you should buy some wool carpets, and maybe a couch? So you the customer dutifully go off and put those things in your cart and take them home.

... when you get home you realize that you already have a couch! And upon carrying in the rug you find that you are allergic to wool and now you're itching all over.

Now, you are an unhappy customer and you go back to the store and complain to the cashier's manager that you bought these things, one you didn't need and the other that caused you problems, and it's the cashier's fault for telling you to buy these things.

Yeah, right.

Don't get me wrong. I have no problem guiding someone in how to use the program. I also am happy to tell them how to do a specific action they want, when they don't know how. Using my previous example, in which I am the cashier...

Customer: I want to be able to put drinks and my tv remote on something in my living room.
Me: Ok, the purchase you need to make for what you are asking for would typically be a coffee table. Do you have room for a coffee table?
Customer: I think I do.
Me: Ok, you go to department 5 to get the coffee table. When you get it home, make sure you set it on it's legs.
Customer: Thanks, that's all I needed.

See? See how easy that is? The customer told me what he wanted and I told him how to get it!

The things you as a customer need to know before you ask me these kinds of questions:

1. What is my environment like? (In the case of computers this means... how much RAM do I have? What kind of CPU do I have? Do I have other software running on this machine?)
2. What do I want this software to do?
3. Am I prepared to work? (Meaning, at the computer and without other distractions)

So, Mr. Admin, call support! But don't ask them to make up your policies for you or do all your work! That's what you get paid for!!

No Troubleshoot - No Complaint.

2008-11-19T12:58:00.000-08:00

I got feedback today, for a customer I'd talked to that took issue with my answer to her question.

She originally called, saying that she'd recently installed some new MS patches, and since then she'd been having trouble with her system. Things were flowing slowly.

She had stopped our services, and suddenly the problem went away - but let's get this straight - she recently installed a ton of new patches.

I had asked her what patches she installed, but mentioned that this was most likely something she'd have to ask MS about. She didn't know what patches she'd gotten. There were too many of them. I told her that I would be happy to see if there were any issues with our software and her patches, but I needed to know what they were. She just didn't know.

I said, ok, well maybe something we're dependent on was changed while we were installed. A big no-no with our software. I offered up a couple things that would have made my program go haywire and do weird stuff.

She pin pointed one and said that she had indeed done an update to it. So I suggested that she reinstall our product so that we could reassociate with the latest changes.

I offered some other things we could do to troubleshoot, but she said that she couldn't do them right now, as she needed permission to do them.

So, uh, no troubleshooting? You're saying you called and expected me to press the magic button?? Lady, I can't pull an answer out of my butt with the information you gave me. You gave me nothing!

So I have her go off and do the uninstall/reinstall and suggested that if that doesn't work, she can get back in touch with me via email.

...

A few days pass and she calls back in, and gets the next guy in line. She lets him troubleshoot. They go back and forth a bit till he figures out what's wrong.

...

She then emailed a supervisor here, and said that she'd called MS and they charged her $500 bucks and it's all my fault because I was not listening to her.

...

No lady, I don't have the magic button. It's not my fault that I gave you that answer, seeing as you gave me the information I used to give you that answer. You don't want to troubleshoot? Then don't complain when I give you a lame answer and your issue is not resolved.

Bomp!

2008-10-09T13:56:00.000-07:00

Something funny and cute to keep you going until I have new stuff for you!

I found this on: http://www.japanator.com/

It's about time!

2008-06-19T00:13:00.000-07:00

Whoa, wait a second there pard'ner. I'm not really back yet. I'm just updating since my time in purgatory is almost over. I'll be back at work in a month or two and back to my old tricks here with some extra cancer-added cynicism. So, look forward to it! Maybe if you're lucky, I'll post something sooner, with a little pepper! lol or not.

Either way, see you soon!

Kids.

2008-02-06T14:11:00.000-08:00

I'll preface this by saying, I would love to work from home. It's always been my dream to be a freelance "something" like a web developer or something. I would love to set my own schedule and not have to deal with office politics or put on pants. You know, the fun stuff. I would like to advise any Admins out there who want to work from home, do so! We admire you for having that ability.

That being said... get an office (that locks) in your home or send the kids to daycare. If I hear screaming kids in the background and your phone gets cut off in the middle of our conversation I will not attempt to help you. I will tell you whatever you want to hear to get you off the damn phone.

Be reasonable will you? I can't troubleshoot with you if I have to call you back ten times, or if your computer gets turned off by a rambunctious 2 year old. I don't appreciate having to yell to be heard, and let's face it, what person wants to sit by and listen to some poor kid get yelled at or spanked on a BUSINESS phone call?

Keep home separate from work PLEASE.

Asking for something you already have.

2008-01-28T12:20:00.000-08:00

My customer called me today, because something he has set up is doing what it's supposed to be doing and he doesn't like that. He had set his system to alert him whenever it got to a certain threshold, and then delete the oldest item when the threshold was met. He didn't like the alerts, because it was freaking out his client. lol

I explained to the customer that this is expected behavior, but he didn't believe me. He wanted me to go through all of his settings to make sure they were set up correctly.

We looked at his settings, in this case it was a threshold, it had...

...these three things:

... and he wanted me to explain what these values mean. What do you think these values mean?? I thought it was pretty obvious.
So, I explained it all to him including the other options on the page, and he still didn't completely get it.

Update!

2008-01-03T10:23:00.000-08:00

Guess what I did!?

I created a new template! Tell me what you think. Is it awful? Do you love it? Is it easy enough on the eyes? Do tell!

How to: RAM

2007-12-31T14:04:00.000-08:00

I started this blog as a place to vent my frustration with my customers. People who should know how to do everything I do and then some and often do not. I think I'm going to add a series of "How to's" because, well, maybe they don't know these things because they couldn't find them. I've already done one - how to find your Windows Management console and the Services console.

Today I'm going to add another one. This is less of a "How to" and more of a why.

(Get to the point...skip the story)

In the world of software, there has come to be a misunderstanding when products are labeled. If you look on the side/bottom/back of a box for a game or other software you'll see the system requirements. It will advise you that you need x amount of RAM.
As an example: I have the game Guild Wars, and it's system requirement is 512 MB RAM. What this means is that the game requires 512 MB of RAM free. Not total.

When I'm running this game, pretty much everything else is out of the question, because it uses so much of my RAM. I have 512 MB. (I'm getting more SOON) Luckily for me, Windows is usually pretty smart, and keeps enough for itself so that it doesn't crash, and I have a swap file that covers alot too. (I may explain swap files later, who knows...lol ) So overall, the game runs pretty well, but often lags and takes a long long time to load.

As I mentioned before, I do technical support for some mail scanning software, and this mail scanning software requires 1 gig of RAM. If your system doesn't have enough RAM, this mail scanning software will take it. Unfortunately for all other software on the system, except Windows, that means that it could potentially crash your system.

Seeing as most of these systems (well, lets be real here... ALL these systems) are mail servers, the system crashing would be a bad thing.

What these admins need to know is... if you have Program A that requires 1 gig, and Program B that requires 512 mb and Program C that requires 512 - 1 gig (depending on the usage) you should have 1 gig + 512 mb + 1 gig = 2.5 gigs just for the software + 512 (at least) for the Operating system -- All in all this comes to 3 gigs.

If you didn't have 3 gigs in this situation, and these programs are all running at the same time, your system will flop. End of story.

For a normal consumer this isn't a big deal, because they don't tend to run multiple programs at once all the time. On a server, however... well, I think you can see what I'm getting at here.

The moral of the story is:
The amount of RAM required on the outside of the box is the MINIMUM required just to run that program and no other.
The amount of RAM required on the outside of the box is the amount that you must have FREE in order to use it.

It's Gone Now

2007-12-27T07:29:00.000-08:00

The latest news from the The Fun Company Tech support front:

News Flash! Software company removes redundant feature! More at 10'o clock....

So, recently we put out a new version of our software. Lets call it The Bean version 2.0.
It is a piece of software that is run with another program that goes on servers.

In our original software - Jumping Bean v.1 it jumped all on it's own, because the platform we were installed on (called The Table) was flat and unmoving. Recently, The Table was changed to The Trampoline Table and now the jumping component of our Jumping Bean v. 1 is obsolete.

We recently changed the name and removed that functionality, so now it's just "The Bean v2.0". We also have an optional add-on called "SuperJump" that can be purchased at an additional fee.

I had an admin call me yesterday, and this was the basic conversation:

Admin: "So, I found out you took the jump out of the Jumping Bean Software."

Me: "Yes Sir, the regular Jump function no longer exists."

Admin: "I was using that function. Why did you take it out? "

Me: "Well, Sir, because your Table software added the Trampoline function, it does the bouncing now. "

Admin: " I don't like the way my Table software does the bouncing. I want your software to do the bouncing."

Me: "I'm sorry sir, we no longer bounce in this version. But if you like, you can get an extra high bounce by purchasing this add-on called SuperJump .
Or, alternatively, you can uninstall the new The Bean software, and use the old Jumping Bean software instead, or you can also make it jump by hand. "

Admin: "I don't want to pay more. I don't want to make it jump by hand and I don't want to back up to the old version.
I think your company should tell me how to use The Table Trampoline's jump function because you no longer do the jumping."

((Now, remember a few posts back where I gave advice on not asking for advice for a third party program?))

Me: "Mr. Customer, I am not authorized to support the jump feature on your Table Trampoline software. If you would like us to help your beans jump really high, you'll need to get the SuperJump feature in our software."

Admin: "I want you to tell whoever you need to tell that they shouldn't have removed the jump function. I was using that, and it's not fair that you can't tell me how to use the Trampoline function in my Table Trampoline software."

So, this is what happens when software changes. We understand that you are comfortable using the old familiar way. But sometimes that isn't an option. We love that you love our software so much, and we understand that the other guy charges, but that doesn't change the fact that we were doing something that's already being done.

We have a better option, but the better option charges. The reason is because the better option is more of a service, and you get updates every ten minutes. Where before, the option was free, but only getting updates every few months.

How could you not???

2007-12-21T13:03:00.000-08:00

This morning was a fun morning. I had two calls in a row where I talked to some not so smart people. So today is an instruction lesson. Now, if you get paid more than $60,000 a year to work on a computer, you'd think that you'd know one of the basics of administering said system.

This is how you get to the management console in Windows:

1. Right-click on My Computer
2. Select Manage from the list.

Yay!! That's it. You're there.

Now, here's two ways to find the Services console->

First way:
1. Follow instructions above to get to the management console.
2. Expand "Services and Applications"
(* Left click on the little (+)Plus symbol to it's left to expand)
3. Click Services in the list.

Second way:
1. Click Start -> Run
2. Type Services.msc in the Run window.
3. Hit ENTER or OK

Tada! Now was that so hard?? How could you not know how to do this if you work on computers every day? Well, no more excuses. Now you know.

ROFL!!

2007-12-14T08:44:00.000-08:00

DNS vs. The Stupid Admin

2007-12-12T07:22:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!

In case I forget to post before then, I just had to get that out... Now on to today's story:

Frequently I get called because someone isn't able to use their proxy. (We have a proxy that a lot of people use.) Most commonly, the reason it doesn't work is because when they were installing it, the program threw up a wonderful DNS error, and rather than fixing it... they ignore it and continue to install the program.

Three weeks later....

They finish setting it up, only to discover that they can't add LDAP users, or get out to the internet.... Or the program is really really slow.

So I tell them, "Mr. Customer, you need to fix your DNS. Now, understand that DNS is not my area of expertise. I deal purely with the program itself. The issue you are having is clearly a DNS issue, and we know this because <insert lengthy troubleshooting steps here> and your symptoms clearly show that YOU ARE HAVING A DNS ISSUE!. "

"But my DNS is perfect." They always say.

"WHAT!?!? There's no fricken way your DNS is perfect. During our troubleshooting you asked me how to find out what OS you have - you dummy." Oh... sorry... That was the dialog in my head. Not what I said to the customer. hee hee.

Now remember, like I've said before, these people make 2 to 3 times my salary. They are A-D-M-I-N-S and most went to school to get all those ~~useless~~ neat certificates to say how much more superior they are to me.

So then, then I have to go to DNSStuff.com (a neat place to check DNS) and prove to them that they are missing a PTR record, or an A record... or whatever is the case at that point.

Then they understand, and I suggest they call an actual expert, like Microsoft or something. Then they get all hot and bothered because no one wants to PAY for support. That's why they call us first. We're free.

Know what else? We don't troubleshoot DNS!

Tesla Fun

2007-11-07T09:06:00.000-08:00

Something fun to brighten your day!

The Tesla coils are playing these sounds. There are no speakers. For more information go here ...that's where I got it!

Don't ask.

2007-09-06T10:31:00.000-07:00

Todays lesson is: Don't ask a question if you're not ready for the answer.

This applies in two ways. One, if you ask a question, pause your talking long enough to hear an answer. Two, if you ask a question that requires I give you information to write down or type, have your keyboard/paper ... READY.

That's all for today.

No. You don't.

2007-08-06T06:22:00.000-07:00

You don't have the most current version. Why do you say that if you don't really know?

Ok, so today... today I'm talking to a customer. It's way too early in the morning. I have a headache and the customer didn't help. So I ask him: "What version of -this product- do you have on your system?"

He answers, "I have the latest version. Version 5.0.5.366...." Then he proceeds to talk and talk and talk. It takes him 5 minutes to pause long enough for me to say anything. Come on!

So finally, I can say something, but it's not important right now to tell him that he's an idiot and has like, 4 versions back. No sir. You do not have the most current version. Not by a long shot.

The worst part about this is that this is a common issue. Many many people do exactly the same thing. I can't believe they have the gall to call and not have the information they need ready. Or in the very least, be willing to say they don't know.
I much prefer to hear..."I don't know" and have the customer be willing and ready to find out then the "I have the latest version..." while not actually knowing they do for sure, without even knowing what version they actually have!!

Craigslist RAWKS!

2007-07-13T09:48:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine pointed this out from Craigslist, Best of, and it fit so well with my theme here I had to post it. This is awesome funny. Kudos to whoever wrote it.
((Note: this is an exact copy, it includes the links back to craigslist.com and the posting number))

best of craigslist > pittsburgh > Things to consider when calling Tech Support...

Originally Posted: Fri, 27 Apr 23:38 EDT

Things to consider when calling Tech Support...
Date: 2007-04-27, 11:38PM EDT

Hi! I'm your Technical Support Rep. I have a considerable amount of control over one or more important aspects of your daily life: television, telephone, and internet. Sometimes one, sometimes all three. Before we interact, I'd like to share some thoughts with you:

* I am here, simply put, to fix your shit. My job is not complete until said shit is fixed. Please just help me fix this shit.

* With that out of the way, know that I hate you exactly as much as you hate me. No more, no less. If you are at least relatively pleasant, I'm happy to help you- even to make small talk as I attend to the issue at hand. Conversely, if you are a total and complete jackass, I will make this the worst 10 minutes of your week.

* Neither I, nor any of my coworkers, are out to fuck you. We are not idiots. We are college graduates in technical disciplines, the vast majority of whom are here to work their way up the IT ladder to more fulfilling positions. Sometimes we have off days, sure, but we know EXACTLY what we are doing. Note that this does not apply to anyone outside of our department. They are, in all reality, idiots who are out to fuck you.

* So you've already unplugged the "internet box" and plugged it back in? Brace yourself, you're going to do it again. Most of the time I do this for a reason...unless you're a dick. Then I do it to see how mad it makes you.

* Don't lie to me- I can tell you have a router. It isn't illegal.

* To those who think they are "computer illiterate": The vast majority of the time, you are lovely customers: Patient, willing to learn, and most importantly, willing to listen. Thank you!

* To those who think they are CompSci PHD's: The vast majority of the time, you are retarded: If you already cycled your equipment and it didn't work, why did it work when I made you do it again? If you are so well educated, stay the hell out of the queue so that people who need help can get it.

* Supervisors don't have a magic wand that they can wave to make everything better. They are governed by the same protocol and use the same utilities as I do. In fact, supervisors are more likely to tell you to fuck off- believe it or not, they have other pressing issues to attend to. If a node goes down, they WILL put those 200 subscribers before you in Priorityland.

* Threatening to cancel does not intimidate us. We have an entire department that is paid to care about that, which means that I don't have to. Harsh? Sure, but I have more than enough work to do fixing shit, yelling at field techs, following up on cases, and explaining the concept of email to your grandmother that it won't cause me to lose any sleep.

* It worked fine yesterday? Oh, then I must be wrong. Let me reconsider the 40 minutes I spent troubleshooting your Win98 box. Check it out: Shit breaks (see point 1); If shit did not break, I would be mowing your lawn instead of sitting in this office.

* Speakerphone? Turn it the fuck off.

* Don't call back and have another rep troubleshoot the same problem. He will read the notes I left about how you spilled coke into your cable box. Even if he didn't, he would come to the same conclusion, and more people with undiagnosed problems would be stuck listening to that god-awful hold music.

* I am not blowing smoke when I say that I understand how frustrating it is to wait on hold, get transferred, and deal with bad agents. I too have called Dell's tech support line. The difference is that I actually DO care about your problem, so please just calm down before I kill your family.

* My company has over 20 million subscribers. I handle a region of about 2 million. To this day, none of them have ever called in to say "I just wanted you to know that my shit is working correctly." Maybe someday?

So what can I help you with today?

* Location: Internet
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 320304562

Copyright © 2007 craigslist, inc. terms of use privacy policy feedback forum

'Eh sonny??

2007-06-28T10:34:00.000-07:00

Hi! Sorry it's been awhile. I haven't been here for some time because I've been a little busy. I'm working on a book, and have been making some mini-movies, and of course I have multiple blogs that I log to regularly. So here it is.

Today's advice is:
...you need listening skills. When you call support be prepared to listen. Not just talk. On every call I verify what product the person is calling about, because I support six different products, and there are many more that my company makes. Sometimes the customer isn't paying attention and answers me without thinking, which means that they get 5-10 minutes of each of us not understanding what the other is talking about.

Here's an example:

I say: "Thank you for calling FunCompany my name is Reine. Can I get your name please? "
Customer answers: "Joe Bob"
I say: "Can you tell me what company you're calling from?"
Customer answers: "FunCompany Software for my PC"
I say: "Yes, I understand that you need support for the FunCompany software, but what company do you work for? I need that information for verification..."
Customer answers: "OH! You mean MY company... I'm calling on behalf of ID10T company."
I say: "Thank you. I'm showing here that you are calling about the FunCompany Jumping Bean Software, is that correct?"
Customer answers: "Yes."
I say: "Ok, how can I help you with that?"
Customer answers: "Well, my Magic beans aren't growing a beanstalk."
I say: "Well, our jumping beans don't grow beanstalks."
Customer says: "Well, I bought this FunCompany product and it's not growing beanstalks. I know its supposed to grow beanstalks. I even put it in dirt."
I say: "Are you calling about the FunCompany Jack n' The Beanstalk Software?"
Customer says: "Yeah, that's the product I need help with."
I say: "Well, then you're on the wrong line. Let me transfer you to the FunCompany Jack n' The Beanstalk Software support queue."

........End.

Ok, so that's the end of my example. See what I mean? Had he listened to begin with he would have saved himself alot of time and aggrivation.

Shortcuts to Doom

2007-04-27T12:15:00.000-07:00

Today's advice is: Don't take shortcuts.

Follow the instructions even though they don't make full sense. If you have to know why they are how they are, then ask. Then follow the instructions.

I had a young woman contact me today about registering her product. The process involved knowing enough about her network to be able to get past her proxy/firewall for the registration. Short of being able to do that, she needed to be able to type a long command prompt-style string to bypass the proxy/firewall.

I sent her a copy of it so she could literally copy/paste most of it, but there were a few places where she'd need to fill in the appropriate information. Unfortunately for her, it required full path information to the files she was trying to use.

Every time she got to one of those variables instead of typing the full path:

c:\example folder\example.exe

She would attempt to use a system variable:

%drive%:\example folder\%filename%

Or some such nonsense.

Now, that may be ok in some circumstances, but the instructions clearly stated that she need the fully qualified path.

In the end, the process failed. Even after I tried time and time again to get her to put in the correct information.

She could have saved herself alot of time and aggravation by just filling in the correct information the first time instead of trying to buck the system. Those instructions are there for a reason. If you knew how to do it your way then why are you calling for help??? Because you don't know how.

So, the moral of the story is:

Capitalize on someone else's experience and do it the tried and true way. Don't try to be a hero.

Guilt Trip

2007-04-17T06:22:00.000-07:00

So, I understand, my program doesn't do exactly what you want it to because your environment is screwy. Your car wouldn't be happy if you drove it on roads made of nails or tacks or broken glass. Why does it bother you then if other things don't work with every situation?

Just because you have to be different. Just because my program works with 90% of other people and it doesn't work for you. Or in this case, it doesn't work easily with your broken glass road. You make me feel guilty, you say "your program won't to this." "Your program won't do that..."

I'm sorry that the whole world doesn't revolve around you. If you don't like it, buy something else and stop threatening to, as if I can change your program. If you want to leave feedback with the company; if you take 5 little minutes out of your day to tell someone who can do something, then maybe it might happen for you. Telling the technician won't do you any damn good. Stop trying to make me feel guilty for your bad purchase.

The Drive-Thru is OPEN

2007-04-06T12:11:00.000-07:00

Hi Welcome to tech support. Can I take your order?

Ok, so I work with mail security software, and yesterday a gentleman called me to ask for help setting it up to send the filtered spam to the end-users. Now that in-and-of itself is fine. I walked him through this process and also explained how it works. The end of which is that the email goes to the end-users' JunkMail folder which is natively created with Exchange 2003/Outlook 2003.

The problem came in when he asked me why he didn't have a JunkMail folder. I explained to him very carefully that I support the mail software, not his Outlook or Exchange. That goes through Microsoft. I recommended that he give them a call to get that information.

He subsequently asked to speak to my supervisor because I couldn't help him with this 3rd party issue. He stated that Microsoft charges for support, and because our software interacts with his Email system, we should know how to do this simple thing.

This whole situation is akin to someone going through the drive-through at TacoHell and asking for a Whopper because their local BK doesn't have a drive-through.

I understand that it may be more difficult to go through that other restaurant to get your burger, because you have to get out of your car and all that, but I don't serve Whoppers here. Just because I make fast food doesn't mean I can make you a Whopper. Comprende Muchacho?

What color are your underwear?

2007-04-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

Breathers. I hate breathers. Darnit. If you just ran a marathon, don't call me. I don't want to hear you huff and puff in my ear. It creeps me out. It's like when I was 9 and creepy people used to call the house and ask me what color underwear I had on. I'm glad I only experienced it once or twice, but c'mon?!? Do I have to get reminded of it daily when someone puts their mic too close to their face after a nice long afternoon jog???
Move the mic away, and breath. Get some good breaths in, then call support. Is that really so much to ask?

- out.

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