Rob Gronkowski, you savage man-bro beast. You need to play in the Super Bowl. Seriously. Do it for the strippers.  Do it for all the bros out there. Do it for me. Spike that ball, you beautiful bastard.

Everybody in New England saw that ankle twist completely around. My reaction was he’s done, out for the season, that’s it 100%. Then he was back on the field a few minutes later, playing as though nothing was wrong. To be honest, I’m worried that it was a combination of toughness and adrenaline that got Gronk back out there, and I’m even more worried that he did additional damage in returning to the game.

Yesterday Gronk was listed as “Did not practice” for a practice that didn’t even occur (hypothetical practices? what has the NFL come to?). He’s walking with a boot. You better believe that the ankle is sore as hell. While I believe that Gronk did serious damage to his ankle – this ain’t no sprain, just watch the tape – I also have no doubt that he’ll play in the Super Bowl. They’ll dope that ankle up good and proper, and hopefully he won’t lose a step.

Everybody knows that if Gronk’s out, it’s a huge loss for the Patriots. He was Tom Brady’s best target this year, and that’s enough of an argument if we leave it at that. But the more I look at this match-up, the more I realize that Gronkowski could very well be the difference maker. With the pressure the Giants will be putting on Brady, he’ll be looking to get the ball out of his hands almost instantaneously. Sure, Brady has the chemistry to complete these passes to Wes Welker and Deion Branch, although they tend to leave little room for error. But in a blitz situation, Gronk has the size to be easily found, and the speed and strength to create the separation needed.

With blitzes coming (and we know they will) Gronk may only have to shred a tackler or two to break a big play into the endzone. I just can’t see that Patriots winning without the Tom-Gronk connect being a vital part of their success.

I’ve already started to hear it from Giants fans and feel like I need to clarify what I think the upcoming Super Bowl means for Eli Manning. To start, it means a lot more to Eli than it does to Tom Brady in terms of their respective legacies. Tom will go down as one of the best in NFL history regardless; for him this game is about getting some revenge and securing his legacy as the best quarterback ever. For Eli, this game is all about validation. He’s already won a Super Bowl, but every quarterback must back up the first win with a second to claim their spot in history. And everybody remembers the fashion in which the his first Super Bowl was won.

I’ve stated that if the final minute of the 2007 Super Bowl shook out a little differently, or if Asante Samuel could actually catch the ball, then Eli Manning would be considered something of a chump with a major interception problem. First off, I said that before the playoffs began this year when Eli hadn’t reeled off the wins he has already this postseason – wins that are obviously helping to build his resume. Before this season though, Eli had played in the playoffs four times. Aside from his Super Bowl season in 2007, Eli’s other three playoff appearances resulted in a 0-3 record with 1 touchdown, 6 interceptions, and a quarterback rating of 54. As I said, without 2007 Eli is viewed as a chump.

I think that regardless of the outcome of this year’s Super Bowl, even the staunchest Eli-haters (me) will admit that he’s an improved quarterback, has shown he can do it in the 4th quarter, and he’s coming off his best season yet. There’s still plenty of issues with his game, but he’s not exactly the same Eli that we’ve been bashing for so long.

I don’t mean to trivialize the importance of the Super Bowl, I simply mean to say I think better of him already. But if he wants to take that next step, if he wants to actually make a name for himself, then he’s got the perfect opportunity in front of him on Super Bowl Sunday.

The Virgin Islands’ line of beers also includes an Island Hoppin’ IPA and a Mango beer, both of which are actually worth a look as well. I promise something much more in tune with the season come February.

As I watched a room full of exhilarated Pats fans celebrate following Billy Cundiff’s shanked field goal, I couldn’t help but thinking, “This isn’t how you want to win.” The uneasiness aside, it’s fantastic to be returning to the Super Bowl. The Patriots-Giants rematch that nobody expected has become a reality.

Now let me say it… STERLING MOORE?! You better believe it. Forget about Tom Brady or Billy Cundiff, it was Bill Belichick’s latest street-meat member of the secondary that saved this game on back to back plays. Rob Gronkowski completely shattered his ankle, but was healed by a team of his favorite strippers in the Patriots lockerroom. Tom Brady, by his own admission, really sucked. But in the end it was enough… barely.

As I alluded to in the pre-game article, I think that the Giants will beat the Patriots. They’re the originators of the recipe to beat the Pats, and they are playing well. While neither the AFC championship nor the NFC championship was truly “won” yesterday, I think that ultimately Eli Manning is a better quarterback than he was in 2008 and the Patriots’ pass defense is much worse. If they can consistently disrupt Brady, I have to give them the nod in this game.

While that’s my feeling, I never really saw the Patriots as a legitimate championship caliber team this year. To have them in this situation is remarkable – it’s one game and I’m fully aware that anything can happen. If I don’t die of a heart attack pre-kick-off  it should be a fun game to watch.

This Super Bowl, distilled and boiled down to its essence, comes down to this in my mind:

If the Patriots win, Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback in NFL history (which I will prove should this happen). If the Giants win, Eli Manning will be vaunted into the class of quarterbacks with two rings and will be remembered as the guy who had Tom Brady’s number. Simply put, I will never hear the end of it.

This will be the single biggest NFL game I have ever watched, and probably the single biggest sporting event I’ve ever watched in terms of what I have riding on the game; years worth of mockery, one way or the other.

The good news for the New England Patriots is that they are one win away from making the Super Bowl. The bad news? In order to win it, they’ll have to go through two teams that are literally designed, blueprinted to beat the Patriots – the Ravens tomorrow and likely the Giants in the Super Bowl. Both of these teams are defense first teams, whose ability to put pressure on the opposing quarterbacks is what ultimately leads to their success. We saw it with the Giants in 2008, and I expect we’ll see it again. I think the Giants will handle the 49ers. I think the Patriots ultimately handle the Ravens. And the rematch everybody wants would be delivered.

But not so fast… tomorrow’s Ravens game should be a pretty epic clash. You’ve got the second ranked team in total offense (the Patriots) taking on the third ranked team in total defense (the Ravens). You’ve got one of the best home field quarterback’s in NFL history in Tom Brady taking on one of the best at going on the road in the playoffs in Joe Flacco (he’s 4-1 all-time). And we’ve got Tom Brady, Ray Lewis, and Ed Reed all knowing that their legacies are on the line. This should be one savage game.

Ultimately, as I said, I’m taking the Pats. They’re at home, they’re clearly playing well. The sad part is when I look at a Super Bowl match-up with the Giants, I think they’d lose. They’d lose 28-14.

But I still want a crack at it.

Fried yet refreshed, I’ve landed back in Boston following some time spent on St. John and cruising around the British Virgin Islands. Life seems quite grand as you’re sitting on a deserted island (above) while Tom Brady throws 6 touchdown passes back home.

St. John is a small island – about the size of Manhattan – and is home to only 4000 residents and 400 donkeys. There’s no airport, so you need to take a 20-minute ferry ride over from St. Thomas (Jet Blue flies direct Boston to St. Thomas for about $350). The island is basically populated around Cruz Bay, where the ferry drops you off, and otherwise is about 2/3 protected National Park. It’s the US so you don’t need a passport, and in comparison to some other Caribbean Islands, is very safe. Having been around the Caribbean a bit, this place is my winner so far.

Kekoa Sailing Adventures

If you do one thing in St. John, take a ride on the Kekoa – a 50-foot catamaran with a black sail, a bunch of hammocks, and an open bar. The boat was initially meant to be sold to someone on St. John, but was caught in a vicious storm off the coast of South Carolina while being transported down there. The crew hired to transport the boat was forced to call SOS and was rescued by a Coast Guard helicopter, thus abandoning the boat at sea for some time. It was eventually found, albeit with $275,000 in damage, and was fixed by the shipbuilder who decided to move to St. John and start a charter company rather than reselling the boat. In other words, this boat has quite the story. Oh, and it’s also painted with solar paint that makes it glow blue in the dark at night.

My particular adventure took me snorkeling on a coral reef, then to a completely deserted island called Sandy Key, then on to one of the British Virgin Islands – Jost Van Dyke (population 200). Jost Van Dyke is basically a small island where ships pull up and everyone jumps in the water and swims ashore to visit the Soggy Dollar Bar (thus named because you pay with money wet from swimming ashore). You then cruise back to St. John, reggae floating through the air and a fruity concoction in hand. Captain Jamison Witbeck runs this family operation and ensures that everyone has a great time – he was even happy to hand over the reigns of the ship. Far and away the highlight of my trip.

Accommodations

I also hit a homerun on the accommodations front. Aside from a large Westin hotel, there are very few hotel options on the island aside from eco-resorts and various campgrounds. One of the few, the Cruz Bay Boutique Hotel, is an absolute gem. It’s small, clean, and simple – there are only seven rooms altogether. That said, it’s charming, centrally located, and owned by David and Denise – a couple that was married on the island then decided to move back and live the dream. They go out of their way to make sure you’re having a great time – they returned my rental car for me, and even chased me down the street to give me a bottle of aloe vera upon seeing my epic sunburn. Hotel guests also share breakfast each morning on a balcony overlooking the street which adds to the sense of community among the guests staying at the hotel. It’s the little things like this that set this place apart, and when I go back I wouldn’t stay anywhere else.

Beaches

In typical tourist-question-asking fashion, I asked numerous locals which beach they thought was the best on the island. The resounding response, “They’re all great,” frustrated me at first but was actually spot on. St. John’s beaches are among the best in the Caribbean, and you really can’t miss. Trunk Bay is the most spectacular but also the most touristy (meaning there may be 30 people on the beach max), but Honeymoon Beach provided a completely desolate option for those looking for more privacy. In general, adventure around and check out as many beaches as you can – you can’t miss. The best snorkeling was in Francis Bay. 

Food

In general, it’s super cheap to drink on St. John and very expensive to eat. We’re talking $15 cheeseburgers, and $30-$45 entrees at the nicer places. There are some awesome restaurants – if you’re looking for a great meal, check out any of the following.

Asolare
Waterfront Bistro
La Tapa
Zozo’s
Da Livio Italian Restorante
Lime Inn

You absolutely cannot miss with any of these places. I had the crabmeat crepes followed by the Caribbean lobster tail in pink peppercorn butter over spinach ravioli at Waterfront Bistro, which was a huge hit. Asolare is the place to go for a view. At some point you will find yourself drinking painkillers, a concoction of dark rum, coconut milk, OJ, pineapple juice, and freshly shaved nutmeg. These babies are quite addictive -repeat if desired.

In general, St. John is a spectacular, very comfortable island with plenty to do. I had probably the most relaxing vacation I’ve ever had, and I will be back. For those looking for the anti-Cancun crowd, this is your island.

Much like the New England Patriots the past couple of years, I’ve chosen to take the first round of the NFL playoffs off. Last year I watched the Patriots lose to the Jets at a bar in Miami. This year, similarly scared and unable to bare the thought of being in New England, I’ll watch the Patriots try to quell Tebow-Time for the second time this season from St. John in the US Virgin Islands.

That’s right folks, it’s vacation time once again. It seems like a perfectly opportune time to go off the grid, and if the Patriots do lose to Mr. Tebow, good luck finding me somewhere in St. John or the British Virgin Islands. I’ll have no access to the internet, so rant away.

I’ll be sailing around on this boat until next Wednesday, but I’d never be so cruel as to leave you without my NFL playoff picks. Here we go:

Saints vs 49ers – Saints win. Drew Brees lights up the 49ers offense, and this game isn’t particularly close.

Patriots vs Broncos – Patriots win, despite a scare. Tim Tebow’s season is still a great story and should be appreciated as one.

Texans vs Ravens – Ravens win. They are just scarier.

Giants vs Packers – Giants win. I don’t think I’ve ever picked the Giants to win before, let alone against a 15-1 team. I don’t think they are the championship team that the Packers are, but I think their defense will play great and Eli will be good enough. They eek out the win. Yes I want a Patriots-Giants rematch that badly.

Temperature in Boston right now: 31 degrees

Temperature in St. John right now: 82 degrees

Football games? What football games?

A recent conversation with a Giants fan over the legacy of both Eli Manning and Tom Brady quickly turned to the question, “How many quarterbacks have actually won two Super Bowls?” We both realized that the number was relatively small, but more research was needed. The complete list is below.

Terry Bradshaw (4)
Joe Montana (4)
Tom Brady (3)
Troy Aikman (3)
John Elway (2)
Roger Staubach (2)
Bob Griese (2)
Ben Roethlisberger (2)
Bart Starr (2)
Jim Plunkett (2)

Two things about this list stand out to me; 1) Every retired QB on this list is in the Hall of Fame with the exception of Jim Plunkett, and 2) Bart Starr won 2 Super Bowls (Super Bowl I and II) but also won 3 NFL Championship games before the Super Bowl era began.

It’s pretty clear that Bart Starr, Terry Bradshaw, and Joe Montana are the most successful quarterbacks in the history of the NFL. While Starr’s NFL Championship game victories aren’t Super Bowls, they are still championships. While the league had far fewer teams at that point giving Starr much greater odds of winning, I think he still deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as Bradshaw and Montana.

So back to Eli, Brady, and the current NFL season. During this year’s playoffs Drew Brees, Aaron Rodgers and Eli Manning have the chance to join this historic class. Tom Brady has a chance to become arguably the greatest quarterback in NFL history.

So many QBs have won one, unable to solidify their accomplishment with a repeat performance. Brees, Rodgers, Eli, and Tom all have an opportunity to do something pretty special this time around – and that’s worth watching.

Eli Manning vs Matt Ryan – all you need to do is say their names to NFL fans and you’ll receive very different reactions. “Talented young quarterback, a winner with unlimited potential,” seems to be the sentiment surrounding Ryan. Fans typically react to Eli with a shake of the head and an initial scoff of some sort. “Peyton’s dim-witted younger brother, the guy can’t decide if he prefers throwing interceptions or game winning touchdowns,” is the general inkling. Fair assessments or not, Eli is the veteran and the proud owner of a Super Bowl ring.

Having ventured into enemy territory this weekend, I found myself killing time at Penn Station by strolling around Madison Square Garden. This served as inspiration for several New York inspired stories that we’ll publish this week, starting with this one. As they say, keep your friends close but your enemies closer.

My brethren in New York City has proven, as usual, to have very strange opinions on the younger Manning. They laughed at my musings as to whether the Giants would be a better team with Ryan as their quarterback. They were quick to cite Manning’s five 4th quarter comebacks this season, but failed to realize that if he personally hadn’t turned the ball over 24 times, it wouldn’t have taken 5 fourth quarter comebacks to squeak into the playoffs. One Giants fan went to far as to tell me that Eli has never blown a meaningful game in his NFL career. Yes, let it sink in, digest that one….. OK. For the record, aside from 2007 in which Eli won the Super Bowl, he’s made the playoffs on three other occasions; 2005, 2006 and 2008. In those three playoff appearances Eli is 0-3, with 1 touchdown, 6 interceptions, and a quarterback rating of 54. Enough said.

So onward with the Ryan comparison. These guys are especially fun to compare as they’re both about 6’4 and 218 pounds, so they’re working with very similar frames. Eli has now played eight NFL seasons to Ryan’s four – I’m going to compare them over the course of their respective careers, rather than on each quarterback’s first four seasons. Let’s start by taking a look at their average season during their career.

Eli Manning
.579 winning percentage
3788 yards
25 touchdowns
17 interceptions
9 fumbles
58.4 completion percentage
82.1 QB rating

Matt Ryan:
.693 winning percentage
3559 yards
24 touchdowns
11 interceptions
5 fumbles
60.9 completion percentage
88.4 rating

Based off of these numbers, any Giants fan would be crazy not to prefer Matt Ryan as their QB as opposed to Eli – he’s simply been better. That said, we all know how much emphasis is put on playoff performance – where Eli is 4-3 with a ring and Matt Ryan is 0-2.

Needless to say, I think it’s fair to call Matt Ryan the more talented quarterback. He’s also four years younger than Eli, so he’s got a lot of football left in front of him. But he’ll need to start having some success in the playoffs if he wants to look back at his NFL legacy one day and be considered a better player than Eli Manning. Today’s Giants-Falcons game is the perfect place to start.

Early this week, I was slapped in the face with the stunning news that Katy Perry and Russell Brand are getting divorced. I was floored. While the Brits have Prince William and Kate Middleton, I have these two. Initially I felt a little weak in the stomach, as I’m a fan of both Perry and Brand, and want the best for them both. This feeling quickly gave way to elation, as I realized what this means… Katy Perry is back on the market!

Sign me up, this officially serves as my resume to be Katy’s next boy-toy. As we so often do on this blog, let’s take a closer look at the stats to see why I’d be a good fit.

Katy Perry
$45 mil estimated net worth
13,536,906 Twitter followers

Russell Brand
$15 mil estimated net worth
3,846,139 Twitter followers

Geoff Roberts
$0 estimated net worth
68 Twitter followers

We all know that in this day and age, net worth and Twitter following are generally how partners are selected. It’s a kind of a 2012 survival of fittest strategy, really. While some women may not consider me much of a catch with my unimpressive net worth and Twitter following, I’d argue that I’m everything Katy needs – a dramatic change. While she’ll be losing half of her fortune to Brand, the remaining sum should be plenty for us to live on. Better yet, who wants a movie star when you could have a blogger?

Who knows how this divorce came about, but rumor has it that Katy likes to party a bit too much for Brand, who is a recovering addict. There’s even grumblings of Katy and Rihanna being party partners – count me in guys!  My head’s exploding with possibilities.

At the end of the day, I am still a bit sad over this one. It’s unfortunate that these two didn’t get together earlier, then fall head over heels and become amazing hollywood addicts together. Wouldn’t that have been romantic? All that I can do now is be here for Katy when she comes a-calling – until then, I’ll just clutch my Booky Wook close and listen to The One That Got Away on repeat.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.