Sorry Kate Upton, but I just don’t think you’re coming back from Helen Flanagan‘s 1-2 punch today. We might as well crown her the #1 bustiest blonde model now. I mean, it was hot enough when she came down with a case of nipple-itis earlier, but now here she is practically busting out of her top for some PETA event. Anyway, I know how Kate’s feeling. These pictures knocked me out too. Wow.

Photos: PacificCoastNews

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I guess my Twitter girlfriend Kimberley Garner wants to get into movies now, because here she is walking around during the Cannes Film Festival to attract attention. Now, I never watched Kimberley’s reality show, but since I want to be a good Twitter boyfriend and support her, let me just say that she looks really talented in these pictures. I think she could have a long career as Bikini Girl #2, or maybe even #1 if she keeps this up. Dream big.

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Photos: WENN.com

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If you like busty British nobodies in lingerie, you guys are in luck, because I’ve got a whole bunch for you today. Here’s Lucy Collett, Beth Humphreys, Jessica Davies, Joey Fisher and Gracie Finlan posing for a photoshoot that’s currently reminding me about my plans to move to England. And if none of these names sounds familiar to you, don’t worry, I’ve got you covered. To help you put faces to names, Lucy is the redhead, and the others are Boobs #1, 2, 3, and 4. Enjoy.

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This is a real picture of Lisa Raye naked. We don’t know if it’s from her days as a stripper, but we bet it’s before she became a famous actress. No Photoshop here, this is the genuine thing here.

Alyssa Milano took her sexy comeback tour to the Extra set the other day, and you know things are going well when I’m not even going to rag on her for ruining a perfectly good see-through shirt by wearing a bra. I’m just glad to have the Alyssa that I used to love back. I haven’t watched her new show yet, but if Alyssa keeps this up, I’m sure I’ll get around to catching 10 minutes of it on mute one of these days.

Related Articles:
Alyssa Milano’s Got Major League Cleavage
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Alyssa Milano Touches Me In All The Right Places

Photos: WENN.com

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Here’s my favorite little midget Hayden Panettiere showing off her cute body in bikini while vacationing in Miami. As you all know Hayden recently got engaged so it’s only a matter of time before she starts having kids and ruining that tight physique. That said, enjoy the hotness while it lasts.

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Related Articles:
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Photos: PacificCoastNews

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Not to call Vogue out for false advertising or anything, but I don’t know if I’d call Kate Upton the “hottest supermodel on Earth.” And especially not after a spread like this. Don’t get me wrong, these pictures aren’t bad, but if Kate wants to convince me that she’s hotter than Helen Flanagan, not to mention the rest of the modeling world, she’s gonna have to do better than this. And a few bikini candids sent to my inbox would be a nice start.

Related Articles:
Kate Upton Sexes Up The Twitter
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I’ve got another Victoria’s Secret shoot for you guys today, and this time it’s Lily Aldridge. Lily may not be as famous as some of her fellow supermodels, but she’s clearly got the right idea on how to change that: do an entire shoot topless and showing off your perfect booty. I wish all Victoria’s Secret shoots were like this. Bras are overrated, and besides, it’s not like anybody’s looking at these pictures to get an idea of how their lingerie looks on a normal woman anyway. Don’t kid yourself, ladies.

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I don’t know whether to credit FHM or Kelly Brook for a men’s magazine finally stepping up and delivering a great photoshoot for once, but it’s pretty hard to go wrong when you’ve got Kelly modeling for you. So from now on, I think everyone should just stick to doing Kelly Brook photoshoots, just to be safe. Trust me, if my readers are any indication, no one will mind.

Related Links
Kelly Brook’s See Through Dress Isn’t See Through
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Because it’s Friday, and because I love no-name hotties just as much as you do, here’s Gabriela Cevallos in DSS Magazine. Supposedly Gabriela’s the host of Fuel TV in Australia, which means you Aussies out there are already well aware of how hot she is. For the rest of us though, this is our first introduction to her. So I’m going to go ahead and officially proclaim Gabriela as the hottest thing we’ve seen all week. Enjoy.

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