The Modest Bride Blog

"That quiet mutual gaze of a trusting husband and wife is like the first moment of rest or refuge..."

Sun, 10 Apr 2011 08:49:19 -0400

“That quiet mutual gaze of a trusting husband and wife is like the first moment of rest or refuge from a great weariness or a great danger.”

- George Eliot

By the Light of the Silvery Moon...

Tue, 29 Mar 2011 19:46:53 -0400

…and some well-placed candles. Yes, yes, yes, I know the whole moon line is from a nursery rhyme, but hey, inspiration where you can find it, yes? And I happen to think that nothing is more romantic than an evening wedding with lots of candles (I might or might not have bought 500, give or take a few, for my own wedding). Flowers are lovely when done right, but give me hundreds of candles outside on a balmy evening…ah, now that’s pure loveliness. As spring begins to beckon with thoughts of those lovely starry evenings, I thought I would share some gorgeous candle inspiration to get your imaginations all atwitter…

Image via The Knot

Image by Terry deRoy Gruber

Image by Bellafotografica

Image by Vitalic Photo

Image by Nicholas Critelli Photography

Image by Pink Sugar Photography via Elizabeth Anne Designs

Candlelight just makes everything lovelier. Aren’t these mini-cakes beautiful?

{Photo by Julie Mikos}

And finally, two of my favorites, also by Julie Mikos:

On Being Dapper

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 12:48:04 -0400

You’ve picked out your stunning, modest gown (the one that will make his jaw drop and knees weak). It’s SO perfectly you. Your bridesmaids are each fitted out with an amazing dress that suits each beautiful woman. And all of you have probably gone through hours of being jabbed with pins while a seamstress makes the fit just perfect.

And then, into this lovely vision of customization enter…all of the guys, shoehorned into a rented tux and shoes. Yikes. Feels like we’re back on Sesame Street, right? “Which one of these is not like the other?”

Luckily, while rented formal wear for men still predominates (sigh), there are so many great options out there for your guys to be just as nattily attired as your ladies that it’s almost a crime not to explore letting your guys have a look that’s all their own. And being dapper is just something that all men should have more than a passing familiarity with.

For a basic primer on men’s attire, there are so many great options out there, including Martha, of course, and a favorite of mine for comprehensive information on formal options, The Black Tie Guide (which even includes historical notes). And if you’re looking for lots of lovely photos of men’s attire options on real men, check out this post on Southern Weddings, because let’s face it, if there’s anyone who knows dapper, it’s Southerners (although a few of us further up the East Coast have a pretty good handle on it too, if I do say so myself)

Jos. A. Bank has a wonderful article on tuxes, with practical advice for modern men who may not have much experience in wearing formal dress. And, they address my own personal pet peeve of long ties with tuxes. Just…don’t. Really. Your children and your older self will thank me when they look at the photos in twenty years. Remember powder blue suits with ruffled shirts? They were “cool” too at one time. Repeat after me: Classic. Is. Always. Appropriate. *stepping off soapbox*

If your guys want to buy their tuxes (that’s what ours did), prices range from about the same as a tux rental (although you’re going to be sacrificing some quality, that may be okay if the guys don’t plan to wear them that often) to please-hold-this-while-I-pass-out expensive (we’re talking custom-made, highest quality out there). Unless you regularly hobnob with society’s leading lights, you can probably skip the last option.

So once the guys have their own, custom-fitted tuxes or suits, you can’t just put any old thing under them, right?

First, let’s talk about shirts. You could, of course, do the shirt-in-a-box routine, but how much more fun would it be to have custom shirts to go with those snazzy new suits or tuxes?

J. Hilburn is a Dallas clothing store that caters to men who don’t like to go shopping (sound familiar?). Luckily for guys in the rest of the country, they’ve just launched an online store where men can buy custom shirts (hello imported Italian fabrics) for reasonable prices.

How great is that?

But with a great shirt, you must, of course, have a great cufflink. You can find cufflinks in any style, at any price range. One fun new option is the cool ceramic cufflinks from Paloma’s Nest.

Finally, ties. Bow ties, of course, if you’re going the classic route (see rant above); there’s nothing better than a basic black bow tie. Just please don’t make it the cheap “satin” kind — this is worth finding a bow tie your man will be proud to wear again (bonus points if it’s of the self-tie variety).

If your guys are wearing suits, I still vote for a bow tie. Again, it’s all about the dapper. Vineyard Vines has some lovely fun options, and they’ll even create a custom tie just for your wedding!

Wouldn’t this be a fun tie for a summer wedding? Subtle enough to look like a shaded blue paisley or some such from a distance, but when you get up close…hello fishies!!

So what about you? What are your dapper guys going to be sporting on your wedding day?

The Ring's the Thing

Thu, 24 Mar 2011 13:17:46 -0400

With apologies to Shakespeare, when it comes to engagements, it’s (usually) all about the ring. Now, I know plenty of people who chose not to go the ring route, but most women I know started dreaming about a ring on that all-important finger shortly after they were old enough to spell engagement! So if you were like me, the ring shopping started way before you even met your husband. Maybe in high school or college, taking a quick peek “just to get ideas” on a jeweler’s site that let you design your own ring? (Yeah, me too)

Here’s the thing about those oh-so-addictive jewelry sites: they only gave you a few options. Solitaire or with side stones? Shape of center and side stones, as applicable? Size and metal? And that’s about it. Sure, you got to choose the size of the diamond, etc. But it you wanted to go waaaay out on a limb and choose, say, a colored center stone (unimaginable, I know), then you were out of luck, at least at first.

Happily, things have changed a little. Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend (although I think my husband would have a thing or two to say about that), but ladies, Gemvara is giving them a run for their money. I just discovered this lovely little website, and my college self would have been in hog heaven with all these options!!

The concept is the same, but you get way more options (5,264 at last count). You select a ring, and then can either leave it as is (and there are so many lovely options):

Or adjust each part of the ring to suit your tastes and make it your own.

This ring was originally white gold with a topaz, but I thought it would be lovely in rose gold with diamond center and accent stones.

The ring below originally had a black diamond center stone, and I’ve created two versions one with just diamonds and one with water sapphire, black diamonds, and white diamonds.

I should, though, add this warning before you visit the site: with so many rings, from traditional to modern to antique, and so many options for each ring…Gemvara is WAY more addictive than other ring design sites. Pop some popcorn, grab a drink, and prepare to settle in for a while!!

If you haven’t seen this GORGEOUS wedding on 100 Layer...

Wed, 23 Mar 2011 14:11:06 -0400

If you haven’t seen this GORGEOUS wedding on 100 Layer Cake yet, rush right over now and check it out!! If you have, just thought I’d share one of the favorites I would never get tired of looking at. Didn’t photographer Amelia Lyon capture the California light and atmosphere perfectly? And the dress, oh the dress. By Melissa Blackburn, of course. Loveliness!

Cover to Cover: Good Stock

Tue, 22 Mar 2011 10:24:40 -0400

I am dangerous in a bookstore. Really, really dangerous. I just LOVE books: the smell of leather, the heft of a properly bound book, and the joy of discovering something lovely in the stacks of an old bookstore.

Growing up, I loved to read biographies, and one of my favorite parts were the photographs and their attendant captions. Oh, the captions. It’s fascinating to me to see what the author or photographer chose to say about that image in just a few words. It’s like Twitter for books!

So traditional wedding albums, while lovely, always make me want to know more. I want to hear the story behind the images! Imagine my delight, then, to discover Good Stock. This lovely little company takes your story and turns it into a custom, handcrafted, keepsake book. Wedding story, family story, baby story…whatever your story is.

I’m especially smitten with their wedding and engagement story books. From the traditional…

(Aren’t you just in love with those sepia tones and hand-deckled edges?)

(Ah, captions. In this case, they included their wedding vows. How lovely is that?)

…to the unique…

(Moleskine-style binding to give the book a more journal-like feel. I love rounded edges!)

(dark blue trimmed leather = gorgeousness)

…to just pure fun!…

…Good Stock seems to be able to do it all. I think I might have just found an anniversary project!!

Which style is your favorite? What special words, memories, and keepsakes would you include?

Demure Design: Jasmine Bridal

Mon, 21 Mar 2011 10:56:24 -0400

Hello all! I apologize for the radio silence last week; a trip out of town combined with a series of technical difficulties (including someone deciding that my new cell phone would have a better home with them…) conspired to derail my posting plans. But I’m back this week, and have a lot of great things to share with you!

Does anyone remember the Barbie Fashion Plates toy from the 70s and 80s (an example)? I had one, and LOVED making different outfits…especially wedding dresses! Well, Jasmine Bridal has the grown-up version. You can pick any one of their top selling dresses, and change the neckline, sleeves and back of the dress to suit your wedding!!

Here’s one of their examples:

And one that I created using their design tool:

Style T842, no alterations (spaghetti straps, low scoop neckline, low v-shaped back)

Style T482 with a square neckline and long sleeves

Style T482 with a boat neck and flared sleeves

Isn’t that fun? They also do custom alterations on other dresses, but it’s nice to be able to see some of the changes you are making and how they would affect the look of the gown, before you get into the “serious design discussion” phase with one of their designers. What dress is your favorite?

Real Modest: Sheena's Bridals

Tue, 15 Mar 2011 14:29:36 -0400

Today’s “Real Modest” feature comes to us courtesy of Amber Weimer, who you may remember from her work with Jackie and Jang. Sheena is a bride after my own heart: her bridesmaids wore gray!

How did you meet?
Trent and I met at school. We were both studying photography at UVU and he was the TA during my class time, so I had to check out equipment through him. (He likes to add that I checked him out in the process.)
Tell us about the proposal…
He took me to dinner at the Roof in Salt Lake. Then we went to the capital building to take some pictures with his large format camera, like we did on our first date. He had me set up the camera, “for practice.” I flipped open one part and inside is a ring box. I immediately turned around to face Trent, feeling like a kid who got caught peeking at Christmas presents. He simply smiles and says “open it.” I do and the ring box is empty. When I turn around again, Trent is down on a knee with another ring box in hand, this time with the perfect ring inside and he asks me to marry him.

Did you buy your dress or have it made?
I bought it at Alyssa’s Bridal.
What did your bridesmaids wear?
They wore light gray dresses from DownEast Outfitters.

What was your favorite part of the wedding?
Knowing that I’d be with Trent forever. He’s my best friend and we have so much fun together. And I loved the end of our reception, when we got to dance. We had a playlist of some of our favorite songs and just danced our hearts out with our friends and family. The perfect end of a perfect day.

Thank you, Sheena, for giving us a peek at your bridals. Best wishes to you and Trent in your marriage!

{All photos above used with permission of Amber Weimer Photography.}

One of the hardest things to do when you’re planning a...

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 13:10:42 -0400

One of the hardest things to do when you’re planning a wedding can be to let the wedding busy-ness go for a moment, and find time do something to uplift yourself and others. So here’s my challenge to you today. First, read the amazing post below from one of my favorite people…

mth2011:

Today.

Be the kind of person you want to be around.

Protect the names of others in the same way you would hope that they would protect your own.

Choose only to participate in conversation that uplifts, edifies and makes the world a better place.

Consciously turn down the volume on negative influences in your life. STOP WILLINGLY GIVING THEM POWER OVER YOU.

Focus on ways you can contribute to the wold in lasting and meaningful ways.

Concentrate on your unique gifts and talents and how you can use them to make real waves for good.

Forgive with your whole heart, even as you would seek forgiveness for your own mistakes. You need never be poisoned by the feelings of hate and revenge that come from an unforgiving heart and mind.

Love. Love yourself. Love others. Completely and without ulterior motive, fear or judgment.

Today.

Natalie Norton

Above design by Jane Riley.

Then, take a wedding planning pause, at least for a little while, and go do the following:

Spend some time in a peaceful place. Take just 10 minutes to pray, meditate, read something inspiring, soak up the sun, all of the above…whatever you want to do to be in a place of peace and calm.
Say something nice to someone. If you’ve ever gotten a random compliment from an unexpected source, you know how much this makes your day. Give that gift to someone today.
Do something nice for someone. Side benefit: brightening someone else’s day makes your day too!
Say something nice to yourself. We often spend too much time on negative self-talk. Today, say something nice to the person you spend the most time with: you!
Do something nice for yourself. If you’re like many people, you’re happy to find time to do something for someone else, but feel guilty taking time to do something just for you. Don’t. You are SO WORTH IT!!! Take even a few minutes to do something that just makes you smile. Out of ideas? Some of my guaranteed smile-inducers including skipping, blowing bubbles (gum or bubble solution, your choice), and singing any of the following songs: Zippity Do Da; Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious; Heigh-Ho; or You Are My Sunshine. You can’t do it with a straight face, I promise!

You’ll be able to get back to the wedding to-do list with a lighter heart and more energy. Now, go out and have some fun!

P.S. This post is dedicated to Jaccie and Callie, two of my favorite modest brides who are getting married next month. In the midst of the final rush of planning, ladies, find time to enjoy the last few weeks of your journey to the altar! I can’t wait to celebrate with you both!!

"So, one of modesty’s paradoxes, then, is that it is usually a reflection of self-worth, of having..."

Sun, 13 Mar 2011 17:11:24 -0400

“So, one of modesty’s paradoxes, then, is that it is usually a reflection of self-worth, of having such a high opinion of yourself that you don’t need to boast or put your body on display for all to see.”

- Wendy Shalit in A Return to Modesty (via jlgerhardt)

This picture makes me smile. You just know that little girl felt...

Sat, 12 Mar 2011 11:03:10 -0500

This picture makes me smile. You just know that little girl felt like the most important person there for the rest of the day! Photo by Justin Hackworth.

Move Over, Shirley Temple

Fri, 11 Mar 2011 10:00:07 -0500

I actually have nothing against Shirley Temples — those sweet concoctions of lemon-lime soda and grenadine. But I don’t drink, so it always makes me happy when I go to a restaurant, and they have interesting non-alcoholic drinks that don’t involve cherry syrup (my most recent favorite involved apple cider, seltzer, and a secret fruit ingredient I’m still trying to figure out).

Homemade Ginger Ale {Gourmet, via Epicurious}

I’ve been noticing this trend more and more , and it seems I’m not the only one. Last month, the New York Times ran a piece on the rise of “mocktails” in New York and I, for one, applaud the consideration on the part of New York’s dining establishments. It’s long been a frustration of mine that those of us who choose not to drink are limited to soda (which I don’t often drink because of an allergy), and water (although sparkling water is lovely). Where’s the creativity for us?

All over the place, it seems!! I loved some of the descriptions in the NY Times article (which I came across courtesy of the Culinary Crafts blog): Asian citrus with rose syrup, pomegranate with lemon-lime, chamomile-grapefruit and hibiscus…even if the flavors aren’t your cup of tea, you have to admit that they sound interesting, and far more grown-up than that cherry syrup!

Hibiscus Punch {Outdoor Entertaining, via Epicurious}

When my husband and I got married, having an interesting option for the toasts was important to us. I love sparkling apple cider, but for our wedding, we wanted something a little different, and the Brick Hotel, where we had our reception, was kind enough to accommodate our wish with a signature non-alcoholic drink. I don’t remember what was in it now, but it was pink and fizzy and delicious (I tried to convince my husband that it was really light red, but I’m not sure he bought it!).

Papaya Melon Citrusade and Watermelon Lemonade, both from Martha Stewart.

If you are like us and looking for a fun, non-alcoholic signature drink for your reception, there are so many great options out there. What’s your favorite?

The Master Plan

Thu, 10 Mar 2011 10:00:08 -0500

I am what might charitably be described as Type-A…all the way! So when it came to planning my wedding, I didn’t just have a notebook, I had a notebook, a file folder, a binder, an online wedding file, and a step-by-step guide to our big day. As you might imagine, then, wedding organization is a topic that is near and dear to my heart.

Let’s take a look at some of your wedding planning and organization options—mix and combine as much as you like to find your wedding planning style!

Wedding Planning Professionals
First, a word about wedding planning professionals. I cannot stress how critical it is to have someone else to take care of the details in the days leading up to your wedding. There’s a lot of talk now about “day-of” planning packages, but personally, I’m not a fan. If you were NASA, would you want a new pilot to step in on launch day? Well, same thing with your wedding! If you’re going to take care of most of the details yourself and then hire someone to come in and help you pull it together, I recommend bringing them in at least two weeks before your wedding day. Take my word for it, the last few days before your wedding are stressful enough and you don’t want to be trying to bring someone up to speed on top of everything else. Plus, their professional reputation is on the line! Any planner worth their salt is going to want to start working with you before the morning of the wedding — if someone offers to charge you $200 to come in that morning and take care of things for you…run the other way, fast! The money can be spent on better things than handing over your wedding to someone who hasn’t been involved in the wedding before the day of!

If you can hire a wedding professional to help you design, plan and coordinate your wedding, do it! You can still be involved in the planning, and you won’t have to deal with adding hundreds of wedding tasks to your already busy schedule — you’ll have someone to help you through all that!

If you can’t hire a wedding professional to help you with (or handle) the details, then make sure you have designated family and friends standing by to help, and make sure they know who is doing what — true funny story from my wedding: I got a call in the limo asking if I knew where the toss packets were! Um…not in the pocket of my wedding dress! Which goes to show, even the most Type-A people can overlook details (like asking someone to take care of the toss packets!), which is why it is CRUCIAL to have help on your wedding day. Personally, I recommend starting that policy a few days before your wedding. Just like it’s a good idea to take time to enjoy being engaged before you jump into wedding planning, it’s nice to have a few days to savor being almost-married.

If you’re going the DIY route, there are a multitude of wedding planning tools out there!

russell+hazel Wedding Tools

If you’re like me and still love writing things down, then russell+hazel is about to be your new best friend. They have a wedding organizer, planning notebook and lots of other wedding prettiness to keep things organized without looking cutesy, which you know I abhor :)

As much as I loved my paper notebook, I did most of my planning online, and there are so many great options out there. A few of my favorites:

WeddingWire
You can look at vendor reviews (including those who have received WeddingWire’s Bride’s Choice Awards), keep track of your guest list and RSVPs, and manage all of the other aspects of your wedding using WeddingWire’s planning tools. I primarily used WeddingWire when I was planning my wedding.

Google for Weddings
A new option on the online wedding planning scene, Google for Weddings is a joint collaborate between Google, Michelle Rago, and Style Me Pretty. If you’re a fan of Google Docs, this one is for you!

Evernote
No, it’s not a wedding planning website, but I use Evernote for everything. Every single thing I plan, from a small dinner to a big shindig, from grocery lists to daily downloads (speaking of which, are you participating in The Challenge?), gets its own entry in Evernote. You can store text entries, photos, web clips, scanned notes (text inside your images is searchable). You can store anything. Seriously, if Evernote went down I would be in big trouble!!

And because I can’t end a post without sharing a gorgeous inspiration photo, how great of an idea is this to dress up your wedding idea board?

Corkboard and shutters? Yes, please! Photo via Laura Winslow Photography.

How are you organizing your wedding planning details?

Elopement + modest style = gorgeousness. Photos by Lang...

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 12:52:38 -0500

Elopement + modest style = gorgeousness. Photos by Lang Photographers, via Ruffled.

The Illustrated Bride

Tue, 08 Mar 2011 19:58:07 -0500

Having spent a good of my childhood in Pensacola, FL (aka practically Alabama!!) and Tennessee, I am fairly conversant in Southern wedding traditions. Including bridal portraits, usually displayed at the wedding or reception. I didn’t choose to go that route; I’m shy enough that I threatened, on my wedding day, to barricade myself in my dressing room and make my husband and our pastor come to me, rather than walk out in front of everyone! Luckily, my sister and cousin talked me down off that particular ledge, and the ceremony went off without a hitch, but having a portrait of myself on display was simply not going to happen!

I might have had to make an exception, though, for a custom bridal illustration from The Illustrated Bride. As a wedding gown designer, artist Jennifer Hancock saw how much sentimental meaning those first sketches of a bride’s gown were, and the concept for The Illustrated Bride was born!

Jennifer creates custom illustrations from photos of your wedding gown and/or bridesmaids’ dresses, giving you a gorgeous keepsake to complement your wedding album and remember your big day!

Here are two examples of Jennifer’s work, with the wedding photo that inspired her illustration:

Aren’t they great? Jennifer also does technical sketches, for any brides who are interested in designing their own gown, like many of you may be in the process of doing. Wouldn’t this make a wonderful wedding gift (drop liberal hints as necessary) or bridesmaids gift?

Demure Design: Melissa Blackburn

Tue, 08 Mar 2011 09:13:19 -0500

Sorry for the lack of post yesterday…I was in bed all day, fighting the flu (or The Plague, as I assured my husband in my more melodramatic moments). Today it looks like I’m going to remain in the land of the living, so I’ll have a couple of posts to make up for it!!

Did you see this wedding? Well, all of the gorgeous photos of the dress made me curious about the designer. So I did a little bit of research on Melissa Blackburn and she definitely has a new fan!! Here are a few of her custom dress designs:

This dress is definitely one of my favorites:

{Photos by OpieFoto}

I love the Regency feel of the ruffles on this dress:

{Photo via Melissa Blackburn}

She also does other dresses too-here’s one she altered for an engagement shoot:

{Photo by Katherine Loveless}
Melissa has some photos of her work on her website, but many more on her blog. Go check it out!!

"There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good..."

Sun, 06 Mar 2011 14:01:07 -0500

“There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.”

- Martin Luther

Although this was a winter wedding, the bride’s bright...

Sat, 05 Mar 2011 09:54:57 -0500

Although this was a winter wedding, the bride’s bright shoes and that fun balloon remind me that spring is coming! Photography by Elisabeth Kate Photography. Wedding featured on Style Me Pretty.

Paper Love: Lion in the Sun

Fri, 04 Mar 2011 12:04:08 -0500

Happy Friday, everyone! As I’ve mentioned before, I love paper. All things paper. So what better way to head into the weekend than with a look at some paper loveliness? Today, I wanted to share one of my favorites: Lion in the Sun.

At their Park Slope store, they produce such gorgeousness as these invitations:

I am totally in love with these white-on-black invitations. In. Love.

Vintage newspaper style. Be still my beating heart. Seriously? So great.

Since not all of us can make a trip to Brooklyn for our wedding invitations, the brilliant people at Lion in the Sun Park Slope decided to share the love with the rest of the world, digital style. They launched their online wedding invitation shop, PostScript Brooklyn, in October 2010.

Aren’t they gorgeous? Check out more of their work on the PostScript Brooklyn and Lion in the Sun Park Slope websites.

Signature Scent: Ka-mil-yin

Thu, 03 Mar 2011 13:14:34 -0500

One Mother’s Day when I was young, my sister and I discovered a store that let you make your own custom lotions and perfumes (I’m afraid the name has disappeared into the years) and created a custom scent for our mother. Ever since, I’ve been fascinated with the idea. So when I saw Leila’s bridal shower last year, I was jumping-up-and-down excited about the perfume station.

{Photo by Jessica Claire}

When I saw that it’s creator, Ka-mil-yin, was based in California, I will admit that I was a little crestfallen. So imagine my delight when I visited their website again after seeing yet another gorgeous bridal shower, and discovered that they have a DIY version for those of us who don’t live in sunny San Diego!

Available for groups from 10 to 75, these kits come with roll-on perfume bottles, fragrant oils for your guests to mix, as well as step-by-step instructions and suggestions for blending oil. Basic labels are included, but you can also have custom labels designed to fit your party.

{Photo by Jessica Claire}

Wouldn’t this be a great activity to do with your attendants, or for your bridal shower? What scents would you choose?