huisi's rantings

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noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 01:40:00 +0000

Think this is another gimmick...which I join...damn...how money lures..

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One Eyeland - The one community for creative photographers.

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 13:39:00 +0000

One Eyeland - The one community for creative photographers.

Shared via AddThis

楊宗緯-對愛渴望MV

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 12:04:00 +0000

Great song

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 14:34:00 +0000

Great song...2nd attempt.

FRM questions by bionic turtle

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 08:53:00 +0000

The partial first derivative is very common in risk measurement. It appears in various asset classes and metrics; e.g., option delta, bond duration, risk contribution, marginal value at risk (marginal VaR)
The first derivative is an instantaneous rate of change; i.e., the limiting ratio illustrated by the convergence of a secant line to a tangent line.
We looked at some basic differentiation rules (e.g., power rule).
I highly recommend the excellent, free calculus resources at www.analyzemath.com. My favorite calculus texts are The Calculus Lifesaver: All the Tools You Need to Excel at Calculus (Princeton Lifesaver Study Guides) and Calculus Know-It-ALL: Beginner to Advanced, and Everything in Between by Stan Gibilisco. I also like the affordable Schaum's Outline of Calculus.
We looked at a handy idea: The first derivative of the natural log of a function equals the function’s growth rate or relative rate of change: if f(x) = ln g(x), f’(x) = g’(x)/g(x).
Given the price function of a 30-year zero-coupon bond under continuous discounting, p(y) = 100*EXP(-y*30), we showed that the first derivative is the dollar duration: p’(y) = –3000*EXP(-y*30). Further, while duration has various specific "flavors," all are variations on (functions of) this first derivative dollar duration. For example, by dividing by price [i.e., p(y)], we produce the modified/Macaulay duration of 30.
It is helpful to be mindful of the axis units. In the case of dollar duration, our first derivative at 5% yield was about –670. What are the units? In this case (i.e., dollar duration), this refers to –670 $/%. Specifically, 670 dollars in price change for a one-unit (100 basis point) change in yield. Still confused about duration units? See the comments to this post.
The option delta is a first derivative; i.e., the change in call price with respect to a change in stock price. What are the units in this case? Since we have dollars (option price on y axis) divided by dollars (stock price on x axis), they cancel and option delta is unitless.
We applied the first derivative rule to confirm that (i) futures contract delta is EXP(r*t) and (ii) the Eurodollar futures contract implies a $25 dollar change for each one basis point move.
Finally, I hope I succeeding in conveying the one big idea underlying this webinar. We may characterize portfolios as responding to (mapped to) a set of underlying risk factors (the call option analogy: the value of the call option reacts to risk factors such as volatility and interest rates). The partial first derivative returns a linear approximation of the portfolio’s sensitivity to an underlying risk factor.
Phillip made an excellent point about the key weakness of the first derivative linear approximation: is it is only locally accurate; the larger the change in the underlying factor, the less accurate it becomes.

FRM questions by bionic turtle

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 08:49:00 +0000

1. A typical bond price/yield curve plots (maps) the bond price (the dependent variable on the y-axis) to the bond yield (independent variable on the x-axis). For a plain-vanilla bond (without embedded options), what is the proper name for the first derivative of the bond’s price with respect to yield? Can we say anything about its value as yield decreases/increases (e.g., positive increasing)?

The first derivative is the dollar duration, not duration.
Duration = -(1/P)*dP/dy such that the first derivative (dP/dy) = -Duration*Price = -DP. This is called the dollar duration.

In the case of a typical “plain-vanilla” bond (no embedded options), the price/yield curve is concave up: at low yields, the slope of the tangent line (dollar duration) is typically large and negative. As the yield increases, the slope increases; i.e., the dollar duration remains negative but becomes approaches zero as it increases.

2. A callable bond exhibits negative convexity at low yields (why?). We visually recognize negative convexity by its arching back; but how is negative convexity characterized in mathematical (derivative) terms?

Duration is the slope of the tangent line; Convexity is a function of the rate of change in the slope. Specifically, convexity is the second derivative of the bond price with respect to the yield of the bond, divided by bond price. In the case of a typical “plain-vanilla” bond (no embedded options), convexity is positive; i.e., the price-yield curve is concave upward such that dollar duration is increasing (the rate of change of dollar duration = positive = positive convexity).

Mathematically, a bond with negative convexity is characterized by, at its segment’s beginning, an inflection point; i.e., the point at which the second derivative (acceleration) is zero. This is where the price/yield curve (e.g., a mortgage-backed security) changes from concave upward to concave downward. Further, the negative convexity is reflected in dollar duration that is decreasing with yield instead of increasing.

3. Under continuous discounting, the price of a bond with face value (F) and maturity of (n) years is a function of yield (y): Price (P) = F*EXP[-y*n]. What is the first partial derivative of this bond’s price with respect to yield? If we divide this quantity itself by price(y), what do we get?

If P = F*EXP[-y*n],
then
dP/dy = F*EXP[-y*n]*(-n) = -(F)(n)*EXP[-y*n]
This is the dollar duration of a zero-coupon bond under continuous discounting.

Since P = F*EXP[-y*n], if we divide this dollar duration by price, we get:
-(F)(n)*EXP[-y*n] / (F*EXP[-y*n]) = -n
Which is the negative of the modified/Macaulay duration!

For example, if n = 30, then this is a 30-year zero-coupon bond and, under continuous compounding, the modified/Macaulay duration is 30.

4. Under the Black-Scholes-Merton, the price of a European call option (c) is a function of several risk factors (note I called them ‘risk factors’) including stock price (S), strike price (K), volatility (sigma), interest rate (r), and term to maturity (t). What is called the first partial derivative of the call price with respect to stock price? with respect to volatility? with respect to interest rate? with respect to term?

The first partial derivative of the call price with respect to stock price is delta; delta = dc/dS
The first partial derivative of the call price with respect to volatility is vega; vega = dc/dSigma
The first partial derivative of the call price with respect to interest rate is rho; rho = dc/drate
The first partial derivative of the call price with respect to term (maturity) is theta; theta = dc/dterm

5. The bond plot (above) maps price (the dependent variable) to yield (the independent variable). What are the units of the first derivative, in the case of the bond? Under the assumption of continuous discounting, what are the units of a modified/Macaulay duration?

The units of the first derivative (dollar duration) are $/%.
The units of the modified/Macaulay duration, only under this continuous discounting assumption are $/$ and therefore are unitless (they are elasticities).
See Alex’s comments at the bottom of this post for great elaboration on the units implied by various duration metrics.

6. In the case of the European call option delta, if calculate option delta = 0.7, what are the units? What does it mean to assert that the delta of a call option is 0.7?

In the webinar, I suggested that it is helpful to be mindful of the axes; e.g., in the case of a bond, the y-axis is bond price and the x-axis is yield, such that the units of dollar duration are price($)/yield(%).

In the case of option delta, the axes are both dollars ($). The first derivative (delta) is therefore unitless as the dollars cancel.

7. How can a short position in 1,000 options be made delta neutral when the delta of each option is 0.7? [Hull 14.2]
You may need the following background:
1. position delta = delta multiplied by number of options; e.g., 1,000 options with a delta of 0.4 each implies a position delta of 400.
2. A share has a delta of 1.0, and
3. to make the position delta neutral is to make the total position delta equal to zero.

A short position in 1,000 options (where the per option delta = 0.7) has a position delta = - 700.
Because an outright share a delta of 1.0, the net position can be delta neutralized by purchasing (going long) 700 shares.

8. Why does a share have a delta of 1.0? Can you visualize that with a graph (even if it’s a little silly)?

Becase dS/dS = 1.0. The visualization could be a 45 degree line plotting change in share price (y-axis) against change in share price (x-axis).

9. If we succeed in making the short position above delta neutral, what does that imply about the position?

The delta hedge is not a complete hedge. The delta neutral position only applies for a relatively short period of time. And for small changes in the stock price, since the delta hedge is based only a linear approximation,

10. Is the delta neutral position perfectly hedged? If not, why not? Can you say that in mathematical (derivative) terms?

See above, the delta hedge is not nearly perfectly hedged. In mathematical terms, the hedge ineffectiveness is illustrated by the difference (the gap) between the tangent line and the non-linear call option price function.

11. The CAPM says Expected [return] = Riskless rate + (beta)*(equity risk premium). What is the first derivative of the expected return with respect to to a change in the equity risk premium (ERP)? With respect to a change in beta?

If E[r] = rf + (beta)(ERP), then

dE[r]/dERP = beta, and
dE[r]/dbeta = ERP

12. In the bond example above, dollar/Macaulay/modified durations are all first derivatives (or functions of the first derivative). What does it mean when we insist that a limitation of duration is that it is only locally accurate?

That duration only gives us the bond price change (for a given yield change) when the change is very small.

BT FRM

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 08:46:00 +0000

Assume the following performance for a bond cohort:

Year T	Value of bonds outstanding at the beginning of Year T	Dollar value of bonds defaulted on during Year T
1	$1,000	$45
2		$55
3		$80

Questions:

Calculate the marginal mortality rate (MMR) in year 3 for the following class of issuers
Calculate the cumulative mortality rate (CMR) over the three year period

Answers:

According to Caouette, Altman et al:

The individual mortality rate [MMR(t)] of bonds in a specific rating class for each year (marginal mortality rate or MMR) is given by:
MMR(t)= Total value of defaulting debt in the year(t) / Total value of the population of bonds at the start of the year(t)

The cumulative mortality rate (CMR) is measured over a specic time period (1, 2, ......, T years) by subtracting the product of the surviving population of each of the previous years from one (1.0); i.e.,
CMR (t) = 1 - [Survival rate, year t] * [Survival rate, year t-1] * ... * [Survival rate, year 1]

Here are the calculations in a simple EditGrid spreadsheet.
Note the CMR is calculated per above, but also equals: cumulative defaults ($180) divided by $1,000 = 18%

D. Harper note:
MMR/CMR is analogous to Saunder’s marginal default probability (1 - p) and cumulative default probability (Cp):
Saunders’ (1-p) is an ex ante probability of default; MMR is an (ex post) realized default (mortality)
Saunders’ Cp is an ex ante cumulative probability of default; CMR is the realized default (mortality)

BT on SRF

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 08:44:00 +0000

A brief review of the meaning of the sample regression function (SRF). A few key ideas from Gujarati here:

As with univariate inferences, we expect sampling fluctuation/variation. In theory, there is one population regression function (PRF) but several sample regression functions (SRF). It is important to see: we assume an unknowable population; we take a sample to learn something about the popluation. As samples vary, so do sample statistics. How to characterize the inevitable variation ("fluctuation" in Gujarati's term)? We can use a distribution to describe (characterize) unavoidable variation in the sample statistic.
Note the correspondence: the PRF contains population parameters (slope, intercept) while the SRF contains estimators.
What is linear in linear regression? We require linearity in the parameters (slope, intercept) but we do not require linearity in the variable(s); i.e., X^2 is okay!

REgression by Bionic turtle.

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 08:42:00 +0000

The residual plot illustrates at least two properties of the classical linear regression model (CLRM):

The expected (average) residual is zero,
Homoscedastic residuals; e.g., we don’t expect to see the dispersion of the residuals exhibiting some patter as we move from left to right along the independent variable
Also, we can visually (sort of) confirm that the residuals are not correlated with the independent variable X. In short, the residual plot should be centered at zero but otherwise without meaningful, obvious pattern (bias)

FRM questions by bionic turtle

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 08:39:00 +0000

Question #1 [source 2006 #62]
Many financial applications are concerned only with extreme values of returns or exceptional losses for which we use extreme value distributions (EVD). The following is/are example(s) of EVDs:

I. Weilbull distribution
II. Frechet distribution
III. Generalized Pareto distribution
IV. Student’s t distribution

a. I and II
b. I, II and III
c. IV only
d. II and III

Question #2 [source: me, Dowd Chapter 7]:
Generalized extreme value (GEV) theory provides a natural way to model the maxima or minima of a large sample (block maxima). However, the peaks-over-threshold (POT) approach provides a natural way to model exceedances over a high threshold. Which of the following are true in comparing/contrasting GEV versus POT:

I. They are essentially equivalent
II. GEV can involve a loss of data
III. GEV has fewer parameters
IV. Downside of POT is that it requires selecting a threshold

a. I and III
b. II and IV
c. IV only
d. II, III and IV

Answer #1: B
Weilbull and Frechet distributions are examples of Generalized Extreme Value distributions. Both distributions are used to model maximal loss. Generalized Pareto distribution is used to model excess over a threshold. However, Student’s t distribution is not an example of EVD and cannot be used for modeling extreme values.

Answer #2: B.
I is false; both are EVT, but they are not the same.
II is true: “the most popular GEV approach, the block maxima approach (which we have implicitly assumed so far), can involve some loss of useful data relative to the POT approach, because some blocks might have more than one extreme in them”
III is false as GEV has three params and POT has two params: “TheGEV typically involves an additional parameter relative to the POT”
IV is true: “the POT approach requires us to grapple with the problem of choosing

Beta and Covariance

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 08:39:00 +0000

(i) COV = correlation*volatility*volatility and (ii) generic beta = COV()/VAR()

没有起伏的情绪

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 11:20:00 +0000

大ｓ　没有起伏的情绪　
因为你出现后划破平静
　　　震撼我已经封闭的心　
冰山和雪　在溶解

仔仔　回到初次的相遇　
风在吹一个人独自美丽
　　　灰的天空为何没有表情　
你的心　下雨

大ｓ　就让我爱你　没有了自己
仔仔　残破的光影　黑暗中深深吸引
　绝对地　就算生命所剩无几
合唱　只要拥抱瞬间的默契

大ｓ　就让我爱你　证明有奇迹
仔仔　再狂野的心　灵魂的深处有妳　
我愿意　放弃世界微笑而去
合唱　幸福很远心却在一起

大ｓ　过去总是挥不去
仔仔　再坚强记忆仍像恶梦不醒
大ｓ　我的泪水淌过你的天空
仔仔　雨下不停心好痛

仔仔　风像画笔看着我　你的容颜竟在风的前头
大ｓ　我的心画出第一次的彩虹
合唱　因为你我相信

大ｓ　就让我爱你　没有了自己
仔仔　残破的光影黑暗中深深吸引　
绝对地　就算生命所剩无几
合唱　只要拥抱瞬间的默契

大ｓ　就让我爱你　证明有奇迹　
仔仔　再狂野的心　灵魂的深处有妳　
我愿意　放弃世界微笑而去
合唱　幸福很远心却在一起
（下一个世纪让我爱你）

从来不相信我的世界可以有多完美

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 11:18:00 +0000

从来不相信我的世界可以有多完美
痛苦　寂寞　还有一些疲惫
不允许找人随意进入我的零度空间
宁愿　孤独　懒的再去想谁

俩个人一起是否只是得到一种安慰
挣脱　过去　然后忘记一切
没想过有天我的结局忽然全部改变
谁会　抓住　我的无力双臂

怎么　会哭
(谁错谁对　为谁抱歉)
不会　再哭
(谁错谁对　为谁憔悴)

走入零度空间　等到一切分裂
就算爱的危险　我们一起面对
来不及的防备　没听过的誓言
要我怎么学会　多了爱的明天

走出零度空间　终于一切分裂
就算爱的很累　我却不会后悔
放下所有防备　一切都无所谓
逃出黑暗世界　开始新的明天
新的　明天
(新ㄉ　世界)

Testing..

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 14:58:00 +0000

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Another great song from Christina

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 18:57:00 +0000

Christina - Saving from myself

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 18:46:00 +0000

This is the original song that I am trying to hum.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYxmS4UNrWY

New song of the year

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 13:49:00 +0000

Trying to hum the song...

賣豆腐啞巴的女兒

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 15:09:00 +0000

看了很感動，為人子女的，不可忽視父母之恩呢！

遼寧北部有一個中等城市，鐵嶺，
在鐵嶺工人街街頭，幾乎每天清晨或傍晚，
你可以看到一個老頭兒推著豆腐車慢慢走著，
車上的蓄電池喇叭發出清脆的女聲：
賣豆腐，正宗的鹵水豆腐！豆腐咧──"

那聲音是我的。

那個老頭兒，是我的爸爸。

爸爸是個啞吧。

直到長到二十幾歲的今天，
我才有勇氣把自己的聲音放在爸爸的豆腐車上，
替換下他手裡搖了幾十年的銅鈴兒鐺。

兩三歲時我就懂得了有一個啞吧爸爸是多麼的屈辱，
因此我從小就恨他。

當我看到有的小孩兒被媽媽使喚著過來買豆腐
卻拿起豆腐不給錢不給豆兒就跑，
爸爸伸直脖子也喊不出聲的時候，
我不會像大哥一樣追上那孩子揍兩拳，
我傷心地看著那情景，不吱一聲，
我不恨那孩子，只恨爸爸是個啞吧。

盡管我的兩個哥哥每次幫我梳頭都疼得我呲牙咧嘴，
我也還是堅持不再讓爸爸給我紮小辮兒了。

媽媽去世的時候沒有留下大幅遺照,
只有出嫁前和鄰居阿姨的一張合影，黑白的二寸片兒，
爸爸被我冷淡的時候
就翻過支架方鏡的背面看媽媽的照片，
直看到必須做活兒了，才默默地離開。

最可氣的是別的孩子叫我"啞吧老三"（我在家中排行老三），
罵不過他們的時候，我會跑回家去，
對著正在磨豆腐的爸爸在地上劃一個圈兒，
中間唾上一口唾沫，
雖然我不明白這究竟是什麼意思，
但別的孩子罵我的時候就這樣做，
我想，

這大概是罵啞的最惡毒的表示了。

第一次這樣罵爸爸的時候，
爸爸停下手裡的活兒，呆呆地看我好久，

淚水像河一樣淌下來，我是很少看到他哭的，
但是那天他躲在豆腐坊裡哭了一晚上。
那是一種無聲的悲泣。

因為爸爸的眼淚，
我似乎終於為自己的屈辱找到了出口，
以致以後的日子裡，
我會經常跑到他的跟前去，罵他，
然後顧自走開，剩他一個人發一陣子呆。

只是後來他已不再流淚，
他會把瘦小的身子縮成更小的一團，
偎在磨桿上或磨盤旁邊，
顯出更讓我瞧不起的醜陋樣子。

我要好好念書，上大學，
離開這個人人都知道我爸爸是個啞吧的小村子！

這是當時我最大的願望。

我不知道哥哥們是如何相繼成了家，
不知道爸爸的豆腐坊裡又換了幾根新磨桿，
不知道冬來夏至那磨得沒了沿鋒的銅鈴鐺響過多少村村寨寨…
只知道仇恨般地對待自己，發瘋地讀書。

我終於考上了大學，
爸爸頭一次穿上1979年姑姑為他縫制的藍褂子，

坐 1992年初秋傍晚的燈下，
表情喜悅而鄭重地把一堆還殘留著豆腐腥氣的鈔票送到我手上，
嘴裡哇啦哇啦地不停地"說著，
我茫然地聽著他的熱切和驕傲，
茫然地看他帶著滿足的笑容去通知親戚鄰居。

當我看到他領著二叔和哥哥們把他精心飼養了兩年的大肥豬拉出來宰殺
掉，請遍父老鄉親慶賀我上大學的時候，
不知道是什麼碰到了我堅硬的心弦，
我哭了。

吃飯的時候，
我當著大伙兒的面兒給爸爸夾上幾塊豬肉，
我流著眼淚叫著：
爸，爸，您吃肉。"

爸爸聽不到，
但他知道了我的意思，
眼睛裡放出從未有過的光亮，
淚水和著散裝高樑酒大口地喝下，再吃上女兒夾過來的肉，
我的爸爸
他是真的醉了，他的臉那麼紅，腰桿兒那麼直，手語打得那麼瀟洒！
要知道，
十八年啊，十八年，
他從來沒見過我對著他喊
"爸爸"的口型啊！

爸爸繼續辛苦地做著豆腐，
用帶著豆腐淡淡腥氣的鈔票供我讀完大學。

1996年，
我畢業分配回到了距我鄉下老家40華裡的鐵嶺。

安頓好了以後，
我去接一直單獨生活的爸爸來城裡享受女兒遲來的親情，
可就在我坐著出租車回鄉的途中，車出了事故。

我從大嫂那裡知道了出事後的一切──

過路的人中有人認出這是老塗家的三丫頭，
於是腿腳麻利的大哥二哥大嫂二嫂都來了，
看著渾身是血不省人事的我哭成一團，亂了陣腳。

最後趕來的爸爸撥開人群，
抱起已被人們斷定必死無疑的我，
攔住路旁一輛大汽車，
他用腿扛著我的身體，
騰出手來從衣袋裡摸出一大把賣豆腐的零錢塞到司機手裡，
然後不停地劃著十字，請求司機把我送到醫院搶救。

嫂子說，
一生懦弱的爸爸，那個時候，顯出無比的堅強和力量！

在認真地清理傷口之後，醫生讓我轉院，
並暗示哥哥們，我已沒有搶救價值，
因為當時的我，幾乎量不到血壓，腦袋被撞得像個癟葫蘆。

爸爸扯碎了大哥絕望之間為我買來的喪衣，
指著自己的眼睛，伸出大拇指，比劃著自己的太陽穴，
又伸出兩個手指指著我，再伸出大拇指，搖搖手，閉閉眼，那意思是：
"你們不要哭，我都沒哭，你們更不要哭，你妹妹不會死的，
她才20多歲，她一定行的，我們一定能救活她！"

醫生仍然表示無能為力，他讓大哥對爸爸說:
這姑娘沒救了，即使要救，
也要花好多好多的錢，就算花了好多錢，
也不一定能行。"

爸爸一下子跪在地上，又馬上站起來，指指我，
高高揚揚手，再做著種地、喂豬、割草、推磨桿的姿勢，
然後掏出已經掏空的衣袋兒，再伸出兩只手反反正正地比劃著，那意思
是說： "求求你們了，救救我女兒，我女兒有出息，了不起，你們一定要救
她。
我會掙錢交醫藥費的，
我會喂豬、種地、做豆腐，
我有錢，我現在就有四千塊錢。"

醫生握住他的手，
搖搖頭，
表示這四千塊錢是遠遠不夠的。

爸爸急了，
他指指哥哥嫂子，緊緊握起拳頭，表示：
"我還有他們，我們一起努力，我們能做到。"

見醫生不語，
他又指指屋頂，低頭跺跺腳，
把雙手合起放在頭右側，閉上眼，表示：
"我有房子，可以賣，我可以睡在地上，就算是傾家盪產，我也要我女兒
活過來。"

又指指醫生的心口，把雙手放平，表示：
"醫生，請您放心，我們不會賴帳的。
錢，我們會想辦法。"

大哥把爸爸的手語哭著翻譯給醫生，
不等譯完，
看慣了生生死死的醫生已是淚流滿面。

他那疾速的手勢，深切而準確的表達，誰見了都會淚下！

醫生又說：
"即使作了手術，也不一定能救好，萬一下不來手台…"
爸爸肯定地一拍衣袋，再平比一下胸口，意思是說：
"你們盡力搶救，即使不行，錢一樣不少給，我沒有怨言。"

偉大的父愛，
不僅支撐著我的生命，
也支撐起醫生搶救我的信心和決心。

我被推上手術台。

爸爸守在手術室外，
他不安地在走廊裡來回走動，竟然磨穿了鞋底！
他沒有掉一滴眼淚，
卻在守候的十幾個小時間起了滿嘴大泡！
他不停地混亂地做出拜佛、祈求天主的動作，懇求上蒼給女兒生命！

天也動容！我活了下來。

但半個月的時間裡，
我昏迷著，
對爸爸的愛沒有任何感應。

面對已成"植物人"的我，
人們都已失去信心。

只有爸爸，
他守在我的床邊，
堅定地等我醒來！

他粗糙的手小心地為我按摩著，
他不會發音的嗓子一個勁兒地對著我哇啦哇啦地呼喚著，
他是在叫：
"雲丫頭，你醒醒，雲丫頭，爸爸在等你喝新出的豆漿！"

為了讓醫生護士們對我好，
他趁哥哥換他陪床的空檔，
做了一大盤熱騰騰的水豆腐，
幾乎送遍了外科所有醫護人員，
盡管醫院有規定不準收病人的東西，
但面對如此質樸而真誠的表達和請求，
他們輕輕接過去。

爸爸便滿足了，便更有信心了。

他對他們比劃著說：
"你們是大好人，我相信你們一定能治好我的女兒！"
這期間，為了籌齊醫療費，
爸爸走遍他賣過豆腐的每一個村子，
他用他半生的忠厚和善良贏得了足以讓他的女兒穿過生死線的支持，
鄉親們紛紛拿出錢來，
而父親也毫不馬虎，
用記豆腐帳的鉛筆歪歪扭扭卻認認真真的記下來：
張三柱20元 ,李剛 100元王大嫂 65元.............

半個月後的一個清晨，我終於睜開眼睛，我看到一個瘦得脫了形的老
頭，他張大嘴巴，因為看到我醒來而驚喜地哇啦哇啦大聲叫著，滿頭
白發很快被激動的汗水濡濕。

爸爸，我那半個月前還黑著頭髮的爸爸，半個月，老去二十年！

我剃光的頭發慢慢長出來了，爸爸撫摩著我的頭，慈祥地笑著，曾
經，這種撫摩對他而言是多麼奢侈的享受啊。

等到半年後我的頭發勉勉強強能紮成小刷子的時候，我牽過爸爸的
手，讓他為我梳頭，爸爸變得笨拙了，他一絲一縷地梳著，卻半天也
梳不出他滿意的樣子來。

我就紮著亂亂的小刷子坐上爸爸的豆腐車改成的小推車上街去。

有一次爸爸停下來，轉到我面前，做出抱我的姿勢，又做個拋的動
作，然後捻手指表示在點錢，原來他要把我當豆腐賣嘍！我故意捂住
臉哭，爸爸就無聲地笑起來，隔著手指縫兒看他，他笑得蹲在地上。

這個遊戲，一直玩兒到我能夠站起來走路為止。

現在，除了偶爾的頭疼外，我看上去十分健康。

爸爸因此得意不已！我們一起努力還完了欠債，
爸爸也搬到城裡和我一起住了，
只是他勤勞了一生，實在閑不下來，
我就在附近為他租了一間小棚屋做豆腐坊。

爸爸做的豆腐，香香嫩嫩的，塊兒又大，大家都願意吃。

我給他的豆腐車裝上蓄電池的喇叭，
盡管爸爸聽不到我清脆的叫賣聲，
但他是知道的，
每當他按下按鈕，
他就會昂起頭來，滿臉的幸福和知足，
對我當年的歧視竟然沒有絲毫的記恨，
以致於我都不忍向他懺悔了。

我常想：
人間充滿了愛的交響，
我們傾聽、表達、感受、震撼，
然而
我的啞吧父親卻讓我懂得，
其實，
最大的音樂是無聲，
那是不可懷疑的力量，
把我對愛的理解送到高處。

Do you agree?

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 11:24:00 +0000

A Blog Posted by Singapore's Youngest Millionaire

By Adam Khoo

Someof you may already know that I travel around the region pretty
frequently, having to visit and conduct seminars at my offices
inMalaysia, Indonesia, Thailand and Suzhou (China). I am in the
airport almost every other week so I get to bump into many people
who have attended my seminars or have read my books.

Recently, someone came up to me on a plane to KL and looked rather
shocked. He asked,'How come a millionaire like you is travelling
economy?' My reply was,'That's why I am a millionaire.' He still
looked pretty confused. Thisagain confirms that greatest lie ever told
about wealth (which I wrote about in my latest book 'Secrets of Self
Made Millionaires'). Many people have been brainwashed to think that
millionaires have to wearGucci, Hugo Boss, Rolex, and sit on first
class in air travel. This is why so many people never become rich
because the moment that earn more money, they think that it is only
natural that they spend more, putting them back to square one.

The truth is that most self-made millionaires are frugal and only
spend on what is necessary and of value. That is why they are able
to accumulate and multiply their wealth so much faster. Over thelast 7
years, I have saved about 80% of my income while today I save only
about 60% (because I have my wife, mother in law, 2 maids, 2 kids,etc.
to support). Still, it is way above most people who save 10% of
their income (if they are lucky). I refuse to buy a first class ticket
or to buy a $300 shirt because I think that it is a complete waste
ofmoney. However, I happily pay $1,300 to send my 2-year old daughter
to Julia Gabriel Speech and Drama without thinking twice.

When I joined the YEO (Young Entrepreneur's Organization) a few
years back(YEO is an exclusive club open to those who are under 40 and
make over $1m a year in their own business) I discovered that those
who were self-made thought like me. Many of them with net worths
well over $5m, travelled economy class and some even drove Toyota's
and Nissans (notAudis, Mercs, BMWs).

I noticed that it was only those who never had to work hard to build
their own wealth (there were also a few ministers' and tycoons' sons
in the club) who spent like there was no tomorrow.Somehow, when you
did not have to build everything from scratch, you do not really
value money. This is precisely the reason why a family'swealth (no
matter how much) rarely lasts past the third generation.Thank God my
rich dad (oh no! I sound like Kiyosaki) foresaw this terrible
possibility and refused to give me a cent to start my business.

Then some people ask me, 'What is the point in making so much money
if you don't enjoy it?' The thing is that I don't really find
happiness in buying branded clothes, jewellery or sitting first
class. Even if buying something makes me happy it is only for a
while, it does not last. Material happiness never lasts, it just
give you a quick fix.After a while you feel lousy again and have to
buy the next thing which you think will make you happy. I always
think that if you need material things to make you happy, then you
live a pretty sad and unfulfilled life.

Instead, what make ME happy is when I see my childrenl aughing and
playing and learning so fast. What makes me happy is when I see by
companies and trainers reaching more and more people every year in
so many more countries. What makes me really happy is when I read
all the emails about how my books and seminars have touched and
inspired someone's life. What makes me really happy is reading all
your wonderful posts about how this BLOG is inspiring you. This
happinessmakes me feel really good for a long time, much much more
than what a Rolex would do for me.

I think the point I want to put across is that happiness must come
from doing your life's work (be in teaching,building homes, designing,
trading, winning tournaments etc.) and the money that comes is only
a by-product. If you hate what you are doing and rely on the money
you earn to make you happy by buying stuff, thenI think that you are
living a life of meaningless.

Take it easy...

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 16:54:00 +0000

Porsche & the Singaporean lawyer‏

A very successful Singaporean lawyer parked his brand new Porsche Carrera GT in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.

As he was getting out, a truck came along too close to the car and completely tore off the driver's door.

Fortunately, a policeman was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Porsche; it was completely ruined and would never be the same no matter how hard the body shop might try to make it new again.

His lights flashing, but before the policeman had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Porsche, which he had just picked up the day before ,was now completely ruined and would never be same no matter how hard the body shop tries to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally calmed down from his rant, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. 'I can't believe how materialistic you

lawyers are,' he said.

'You're so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life'

'How can you say such a thing?' asked the lawyer.

The officer replied, 'Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!'

'OH, MY GOD!' screamed the lawyer.

'MY ROLEX!!!'

Take it easy...

SMOOTH JAZZ MUSIC

Spider Lilies

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 14:56:00 +0000

Spider Lilies (Chinese: 刺青; pinyin: Cì Qīng; literally, "Tattoo") is a Taiwanese lesbian drama film, released in 2007. It is the second feature-length film by director Zero Chou, and stars Rainie Yang and Isabella Leong in the lead roles. Spider Lilies was screened at the 2007 Berlin International Film Festival, where it won the Teddy Award for best feature film.^[1] It was released in the United States by Wolfe Video on May 6, 2008.^[2]

Interesting...

Vicky_Cristina_Barcelona

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 16:58:00 +0000

Great movie, the kind of life I want to experience.

Great song to listen to when you watch this movie.
Song 2

Happy 2009

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 06:27:00 +0000

May you and our family have a blessed year ahead!

Hi there

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 06:24:00 +0000

Tomorrow will be the start of a term. Was looking through the pile of work and assignments through the school intranet and my heart just have this 2 different heart beats about it, eagerness and anxiousness.

Eagerness to prepare early for the term and anxiousness of the amount of work to be done.

Eventually I didn't start any work until today...procastination and laziness seems to be the theme of my life nowadays...

In anticipation of us turning 28 this , the feeling of doom came.

Think I no longer know what I want in life...I know I want a good life-materially and spiritually...but I no longer feeling like working for it...I am sick and tired of working hard for life to earn things...why can't we just enjoy the life we have and still have a good life? or is it because as we grow old, we become less and less immune to hard work or too sick and tired of it? Maybe it is just me...but it does scare me.

How's your celebration? What's your resolutions?

I was not thinking about it till last night. I can't fall asleep last night and starts having thoughts roaming in my mind...eventually woke up and get myself a pen and few piece of papers to write down what and how I felt for the coming and several wish list for the .

I don't know how many of the resolution I will keep this but it sure soothens my mind (or tired my mind into sleep) to put things down.

However, I also find the tendency to not do anything on the list if I wrote it down...maybe it's because I felt I have written them down and if I didn't reach those wish list, it meant i have tried?

It sure is somekind of hypothesies fallacy...

Anyhow, I broke 1 of the wish list this morning...I am suppose to attend workship today and I didn't.. there is 1 this evening..but I guess I am not going either...

I am such a jerk sometimes...huh...so does the attending Japanese Language Class last Saturday...God, I am really becoming lazier these days.

The older I get, the lazier and the space to be left alone or be alone is growing more and more everyday...what is happening?

I sure hope I didn't become like Alina in the future or some useless person in the future...

You see I feel like I must contribute to the world in someway and not just do things for money or our own benefits but laziness is getting in the way...

I guess in a way, I am using laziness as an excuse to get away from the pressure I felt...of not performing or being the best...I am always a chicken of comparison...if I felt I can't compete against others, I'll get pretty ellusive and non-responsive to the environment around me...maybe just to avoid the feeling of getting hurt.

Gosh, sorry for the long email...felt that you have become more and more like my psycologist, haha..my appology if I bored you..

Thanks for being there for me when I felt like pouring my heart out..

You take care, may you and your family have a blessed ahead!

Why?

noreply@blogger.com (huisi) — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 14:43:00 +0000

Haha...