Human is just an evolved species

A short horror story.

2014-04-22T22:06:00.002+10:00

The night was almost completely dark saved for the occasion distant flashes of lightning. The thunder storm showed no signs of letting up and the tropical rain poured down as if the sky had cracked. Standing on the side of a small country road, Ali was shivering in cold. He was completely soaked to his skin. The heavy rain drops fell on his raincoat with such strength that he felt hurt. Whipping viciously through the open field, the strong wind howled around him. His heavy soaked raincoat was flapping fiercely in the wind as though it would carry him into the air. Rain water had flooded the dirt road and he could feel the flow of a small stream up to his ankle.

Ali cursed himself in silent. His father had advised him against traveling on a full moon Friday night. If he had listened to his father and delayed his trip, he would have been at home and enjoying hot chicken soup and steamy curry with rice. Now, he was wet, cold and miserable, besides feeling really hungry. He hoped a car would pass through that road and give him a lift to the nearest town.

As if his prayers were answered, he saw dim head lights of an approaching car. Not wanting to miss this golden opportunity, he ran to the slow moving car, opened the back seat door and jumped in.

He let out a big sigh of relieve and thanked the driver. To his horror, the car was empty except himself, and it was moving down the road in a slow pace. He picked up a pungent scent in the air. It was like the mixture of rotting food and tobacco. Amid the noise of pouring rain made on the car, he faintly heard sound of heavy breathing close to him. Stories about bad spirits and ghosts flashed through his mind and he could feel his heart pounding hard against his chest.

In the dim head lights, he saw a sharp bend in the road ahead and he thought the car would surely crash into the barrier. Then, out of nowhere, a dark hairy hand without a body appeared and steered the car around the bend. The road ahead was slightly down hill and the car picked up speed and moved faster. All Ali could do was read out all the prayers he knew loudly and hoped the bad spirits would leave him alone.

He felt the car was moving slower and the heavy panting became louder. It was as if someone was breathing very close to his ears. Then, Ali saw the lights of a petrol station far ahead of the road. He gathered all his strength, opened the door and dashed out. He didn’t stop running until he was inside the petrol station. Still shivering and panting hard, he told his story to the workers at the petrol station. They laughed at his tale but nevertheless helped him to dry up and offered him a hot coffee. While Ali was sipping his coffee, two men walked into the petrol station. They spotted Ali and looked at him intensely for a short while, as if they were trying to make sure. Then one of the men let out an angry groan.

He said “This is that stupid idiot who got in our car while we were pushing it just now”.

Non Abstarct Mathematic

2013-07-13T18:12:00.000+10:00

Non abstract mathematics

Mathematics is abstract by nature, and mathematicians are bunch of weirdos who speak in tongues. At least, this is the picture that comes to most lay person, myself included. However, mathematics can be, and should be, explained in simple and comprehensible terms so that normal people like us who don’t understand the jargons and tongues can grasp the basic concepts. Real mathematicians don’t bother to explain the basic concepts to lay persons; it’s probably sort of trade secrets that they are reluctant to reveal, lest that might make them less special.

Hence, I will try to demonstrate that mathematics is part of our daily life and can be explained with simple diagrams. Of course, at more complex levels, mathematics is still an abstract subject that requires comprehensive understandings of the respective equations and algorithms. But, that’s not our concern, that’s the job of tongue speaking mathematicians.

First, let’s look at one very simple problem which we would face at least once in 4 years, if you are a soccer fan.

If there are 5 soccer teams in one group, how many matches will be played if every team has to play the other teams in the same group?

The most direct and simplest way to work this out is to write the teams on a piece of paper and start matching them to each other. Of course you would get the right answer. No magic about this. But is there a simpler, more elegant way to do this without evoking the mumbo jumbo of mathematics equations and what not?

Let’s reduce this to a simpler scenario. There are only two teams in a group. So, how many matches they have to play? Even a dumbo with IQ below 80 points like me can answer this question. One match! OK, now how about three teams in one group, or four teams in one group? It gets a bit complex as the number of teams grows in a group. To have a generic and yet simple way to look at this problem, simply draw the number of teams in the group as dots on a piece of paper and then join up all the dots, such that every dot is connected to all other dots.

For example, two teams in a group are just two dots and a line joining them. The total number of lines will be the total number of matches played in the group.

Two teams in a group – one match will be played.

3 teams in a group – 3 matches will be played.

4 teams in a group – 6 matches will be played.

5 teams in a group – 10 matches will be played.

Now, isn’t this a more elegant way to represent the problem and much simpler to remember? The best thing is, you don’t have to start matching the teams and count the matches every 4 years. Of course, it does get a bit complicated if the number of teams in a group is more than 6. But, there are only 32 teams in the world cup final and each group usually has less than 6 teams.

Now, let’s go one step further. What is we are not dealing with soccer teams but a card game that requires 3 players to play in each round. If there are 5 players in a group, and each game is played by 3 players, how many games will be played if each player has to play all other players in the same group?

You may again start matching the players with pencil and paper, three at a time, until they are all matched and count the total matches. Alternatively, we can use the same diagrams; but instead of counting lines, this time we count the number of triangles with all three corners touching the dots.

3 teams in a group – only 1 game will be played.

4 teams in a group – 4 distinctive triangles, hence 4 games will be played.

5 teams in a group – 10 distinctive triangles, hence 10 games will be played.

If you can't see the triangles in the last figure, the following figures will help you to visualise. There are 5 such yellow triangles (left figure) and 5 such green triangles (right figure).

If you are keen, you may extend the same method to find out how many mahjung games will be played in a group of 5 players, if each player has to play every other player. For those who uninitiated, mahjung is a game played by 4 players.

Hence, instead of counting triangles, we count the total number of rectangles with all 4 corners touching the dots. In fact, this method can be extended for 5-players, 6-players and so on. You may try it to verify.

The best thing about this is – I figured this out on my own. Rub it in!

In fact, what we have seen has formal mathematical equations and theories associated with it. It is termed as “permutations and combinations”. To find the number of combinations of 2 teams out of 5 teams, the equation is:

5! .

(5-2)! x 2!

5! = factorial of 5 = 5x4x3x2x1

If we were to check against the formal mathematical equation, the answer would be the same, i.e. 10 matches. Because 5! is 120, (5-2)! is 6, and 2! is 2; and 120/(6x2) = 10.

The general equation for calculating number of combinations of matching r number of teams from n number of teams is:

n! .

(n-r)! x r!

Well, I did say mathematicians speak tongues, didn’t I?

Is it time to change your government?

2013-04-28T23:27:00.002+10:00

As promised in my last article, let’s objectively look at what constitutes good governance of a country and then evaluate our previous (now the caretaker) government performance in terms of these characteristics.

There is an extremely important pre-requisite to having a good government before any of the following characteristics can even be considered. There must be a true separation of powers where the government, judiciary and legislation are independent and free from interference. Without this true separation of powers, good governance is but a dream.

The foremost important characteristic of good governance is involvement and participation of the people in the country. This is done ideally through direct election of people representatives (as in many democratic countries) or less ideally through appointment of people who represent some ethnic or social-political groups (as in some countries that still practise monarchy system). The bottom line is, everyone is given equal right to participate in the government or represented by people they choose. As such, a fair and clean election system is essential.

Rule of law is the second most important feature of good governance. It is imperative to have fair and just laws that are enforced impartially on everyone, including those who walk the corridor of power.

The third most important quality in good governance is to promote, observe and implement equity in all government policies. This feature ensures everyone in the country is treated equally and free from any form of discriminations due to difference in skin colour, age, gender, religion, sexual orientation and political affiliation.

Next, we have the C.A.T, competency, accountability and transparency in governance. A competent government is effective in carrying out its duties as well as efficient in managing the available resources of the country. A good government will have systems in place to make sure members of the government are accountable to the people in the country while performing their duties. Information on government processes, utilisation of country resource, policies and laws etc must be freely available and accessible to anyone in the country who wants to know. This is called transparency of governance.

For example, an independent evaluation system is required to monitor the measurable performance of various operational branches of the government. The evaluation results must be made available and accessible to the people of the country.

Last but not least, a good government has positive visions and long term objectives in the development of the country.

In a nut shell, a good government has positive visions, and supports active participations of the people, implements rule of law and practises equity in its policies. It is competent, accountable and transparent in its operations.

Now, how many of the above qualities does our Malaysian government have? Is calling for a change of government justified in this coming 13^th general election?

1. Participation. We have a democratic system to elect the government. However, fair and clean election being an essential part to ensure equal right of participation is missing from the equation. So, I would say they failed this test.

2. Rule of law. We have a legal framework that is based on the common law. However, with the domination of the government over the judiciary, impartial application of rule of law is hardly seen in the country when it involved the powers that be. So, they failed this test.

3. Equity. With so many discriminatory and preferential policies such as the NEP, quota system etc, Malaysians are constantly being discriminated by their race, gender, religion and probably the choice of their pet. It’s definitely a fail.

4. C.A.T. When jet engines were smuggled out from a military based and sold in South America; when government departments procured everything at severely inflated prices; when armed militants entered the country and occupied a village but strangely nobody was accountable for it; when the MRT project costing billions of ringgit was awarded to a company without any track records, without an open tender process; what C.A.T are you talking about. Hence, it is another resounding failure.

5. Vision. You actually mean vision and long term development objectives? Hahaha. Please don’t make me laugh. From vision 2020, Islam Hadhari to 1Malaysia, our national vision changed whenever we have a new prime minister. We didn’t even have a national day slogan in 2012. They failed badly on this one as well.

The previous (now the caretaker) government of Malaysia has failed in all the tests that characterise good governance. Is changing government justified? You make your own judgement, my dear Malaysians.

Is the Malaysian society a successful one?

2013-04-28T20:15:00.002+10:00

In the midst of election faze when every man, woman and their pets are talking about politics and who they ought to vote, let’s take a step back and evaluate the current state of our society. In order to do this, we have to look at some essential characteristics of a society for it to be called a successful, developed and civilised one.

The top three most important requirements of a successful society are:

1. Safety. There must be means to safeguard personal safety of everyone. Nobody should live in fear of being hurt physically or being robbed of their belongings.

2. Shelter. Everyone should have at least a basic form of shelter for them to rest and keep their personal possessions. Shelters ought to be affordable to the average persons. For the unfortunate group of people, such as the less-abled folks, old and sick folks, orphans, mentally challenged etc, basic shelter should be provided in the forms of nursing homes or centres.

3. Food, clean water and clothes. Access to food, clean water and clothes is essential in any successful society. Again, the unfortunate group of people must not be deprived of these basic needs.

The other essential requirements are a good government, social justice, freedom, education and health care.

The role of a government is to administrate and manage the various operations of a society, with the aim of bringing benefits to the people in the society. These operations include security forces, education system, financial system etc. Since good governance is pivotal in the provision of the other essential requirements, it will be evaluated in more details in another article.

Social justice in itself is a big topic. It basically means everyone deserves equal economic, political and social rights and opportunities, regardless of his or her race, gender, age, sexual orientation, political affiliation and religious belief.

The freedom of everyone in the society must be guaranteed and at the same time check and balance must exists to safe guard it from being abused to violate others in the society. Freedom generally encompasses freedoms in: speech, movement, belief, sexual orientation, religion and political affiliation.

Equal right and access to basic education for everyone is essential in a successful society. At the same time, it must be affordable to the average people and provided to those who can’t afford it.

As in education, everyone in a successful society should have equal access to a health care system the society is afford to provide.

Now, let’s look at how we, the Malaysian society, fare in terms of these essential characteristics of a successful society.

1. Safety. In the face of climbing crime rate, I would say we don’t pass this test.

2. Shelter. Although squatters are abound in the fringes of the big cities, and the sorry state of many shelters in the rural areas, I would still say we pass this test but with a very low margin. Ballooning property price may have made a few people very wealthy, but the general public suffers greatly from it.

3. Food, clean water and clothes. I would say we pass this test with improvements required.Thousands in some remote areas are still deprived of clean, treated water.

4. Good governance. I would say we failed quite badly in this test. Details will be discussed in another article.

5. Social justice. We failed at this as well. So many fellow Malaysians are being discriminated due to their race, gender, sexual orientation, religion and political affiliation.

6. Freedom. Do I need to say more on this? With so many laws to curb, illegalise and prosecute freedom of Malaysians to express, to demonstrate, to profess religious belief etc, we again fail badly in this test.

7. Education. If we don’t consider the quality of our education system and the products from it, I would say we are pretty good in providing affordable and accessible basic education to the people.

8. Health care. In my personal opinion, we have a good public health care system that is affordable and accessible to most of the people in Malaysia. More costly private health care services in the form of medical centres are also available to those who afford to pay more for speedier and customised services. However, my personal experience is the wait queue at some of the popular medical centres is the same, if not longer, than public hospital. More importantly, the qualities of professional medical services (i.e. specialist advice, consultation etc) are no better than what is provided by the doctors in public hospitals. I guess, time is money for the specialists in private practice. If you don’t agree to major, costly treatments or operations, spending more time on you is equivalent to spending less time on those genuine, paying big bucks patients.

I have summarised our report card in the following table. I have to admit this article is written within a short time and they represent my personal, subjective opinions on the subjects discussed. Ideally sufficient research has to be done to back up the claims, which I didn’t. Hence, make your own judgements.

	Requirement	Result
1	Safety	Failed.
2	Shelter	Just passed.
3	Food, clean water and clothes	Passed.
4	Good government	Failed badly.
5	Social justice	Failed.
6	Freedom	Failed badly.
7	Education	Passed.
8	Health care	Passed.

Dear Diary

2012-07-21T00:37:00.005+10:00

Dear diary,

Time flies. I sent Meimei back to her college this afternoon. Very soon, she would be finishing her course and be a real adult. It seems like just yesterday when she was still in her blue school uniform.

Before she left, she said “Mom, enjoy your date with Mr Shinny.” What a naughty girl! That nick name stuck with Shannon when the first time she saw him in his neat outfit and his well polished shoes. I guess Shannon has always dressed up neatly wherever he goes. Or rather he goes to places which require him to dress up. We had never gone to a mamak, come to think about it.

I’ve got to do something to that cactus. I haven’t watered it for a long time now. It is not dead yet but it’s not growing too. Maybe Meimei was right, if it’s not growing for past 6 years, it will not grow at all. Maybe I will just give it a few more months.

I will pick up Lydia from airport tomorrow and have a long coffee chat with her. She must have lots of interesting stories to share after 3 weeks trekking in the Himalayas.

Shannon has asked me to join him for dinner at Tsukishima tomorrow. That’s very sweet of him to remember I like the okonomiyaki served in that nice and friendly restaurant. It will be good date. He is a sweet and fun guy.

Our new neighbour moved in and I waved and smile at them. They looked like nice people.

17 Oct 18, Saturday. Sunny.

Dear diary,

Came back early from dinner. The food didn’t taste as good as last time. Shannon told me he got promoted to Product Marketing Director, or is it Regional Sales Manager? I wasn’t paying attention.

The lighting was a bit dim and the waitress looked unhappy. Maybe she has problems at home?

Shannon said he is going to Spain (or is it Italy or Belgium?) for 2 weeks on business and asked if I want to come along. I said I will check my work schedule first.

Drove past old town and many of the shops are still there, including the McD and the old kopitiam. Wonder if the old man still sells his super tasty nasi lemak. Haven’t been there for so long, probably 6 years since the last visit.

Lydia came back in one piece and good spirit, except for a sprained ankle. She showed me many beautiful pictures of the snow capped mountains and crystal clear streams in the Himalayas. They are just splendid.

She bumped into him at a local hospital where she was being treated for her ankle. She said he had a broken arm, caused by a fallen cross beam from the construction site of a mini hydro generator at a remote village in the south east region. She said he dressed like a labourer, looked tired and bit haggard, probable due to long distance he had to travel to get to the hospital.

I gave the cactus a good shower and cleared the weeds that were growing around it.

18 Oct 18 - Sunday. Gloomy.

Dear Diary,

Another normal, tiring day at work.

I came home and found a small piece had broken off from the cactus. It must have been the pigeons.

If cactus is a man, he must be a very strong person both physically and mentally, to be able to withstand all these harsh assaults from the surrounding.

I stopped at the old kopitiam for breakfast. The old man had retired since 3 years ago and now his son has taken over the nasi lemak stall. The taste is not the same anymore. The sambal was too sweet and the onion tasted raw. Even the ikan bilis didn’t taste the same.

Our usual table under the fan has been replaced by a new IKEA plastic table. Things are never the same anymore. I guess, they never stay permanent. “Nothing is permanent”, he liked to say.

Had a missed call from Shannon. Will return his call tomorrow from office.

19 Oct 18 - Monday. Rainy.

Dear Diary,

A very busy day at the office. The regional big boss is due to visit and every department is preparing power point for the big meeting.

I skipped lunch and stayed in the office. It was too hectic to go out during lunch hour.

I checked on the internet during lunch break and found that the political unrest is escalating in Nepal now. The Maoist separatists are mounting attacks on the government in the remote regions. I wonder how safe it is now in Nepal.

Shannon called and asked my decision on the Europe trip. I said I can’t go because I can’t take leave then. He sounded disappointed but still asked me to go dinner on Saturday. I said I will call him again.

I have asked Lydia out for coffee and girls talk tomorrow night. We have lots to catch up.

Nothing has changed with the cactus. It still stands there as it always does. Maybe it is in hibernation or in deep meditation.

20 Oct 18 – Tuesday. Cloudy.

Dear Diary,

Meimei came back for the weekend. I made her favourite pumpkin soup and we had great quality time together. She has grown so much and is now a mature adult. At the same time, it also means I m getting older. Sigh.

She asked me how’s going with Mr. Shinny and why didn’t I go to Europe with him. It seems she is encouraging me to have another go at relationship. Thanks girl.

There had been a few attacks on government’s infrastructure in Nepal last few days. The news says some foreign volunteer workers were injured in the attacks. Some NGO are pulling out and repatriating their volunteer staff. Hope all is well with him.

Shannon is flying to London tomorrow night. We had a quick meet up for lunch today at the Ship. The nachos and wings were pretty good. For some reasons, I suddenly longed for a plate of nasi lemak with hot sambal and a cup of black Hainan kopi.

I watered the cactus and put a netting around it to keep away the pigeons.

24 Oct 18 – Saturday. Sunny

Dear Diary,

We went shopping and Meimei bought a bag full of cosmetic and accessories. I frowned and she said she got it from me. We laughed. My younger days of shopping frenzies came back to me. On dear.

I took her to the old kopitiam and to my surprise the old guy came to the stall today. I had a chat with him and asked him about his best-in-town sambal. He laughed and said that will be passed down to his son. I tried the nasi lemak and indeed it tasted much better than the other day.

There is another pleasant surprise. A tiny green limb grows on the cactus. It is finally out of hibernation and coming back to life.

He sent me an email and said he will be back in country to treat his arm. The situation is not safe for them to stay in Nepal and he needs a long rest. Do I want to see him again after all these years? I don’t know.

25 Oct 18 – Sunday. Sunny

Dear Diary,

I went to the Merci-corp web site to check on their activities in Nepal and saw him in one of the pictures. They were building some sort of power system. He was in faded jeans and had a dark green scarf around his neck. He still has it after so many years.

The young man has learnt well from his father. His nasi lemak is almost as good as his dad’s. There’s something good in life, at least.

Meimei will be going to Singapore for a seminar organised by the college. It must be fun to do all these when you are young. Good luck, girl.

The cactus is turning from brown to greenish now. It is really growing now. Everything deserves a 2^nd chance, I guess. When time comes, the right thing will happen.

29 Oct 18 – Thursday. Sunny

Atypical love story

2012-06-13T00:15:00.002+10:00

Seldom write love story because I don't believe in fairy tales and happily ever after. This one had been in my head for a while and its definately ain't Mills and Boon.

_________________________________

Sam tried to stay close behind Ming muscular body, finding their ways through the usual Friday crowd inside the Jam Club. Ming was a fitness instructor and knew many friends who worked as bouncers at the clubs downtown. Sam felt safer to have him.

Ming stopped and pointed his finger. Across the crowded dance floor, Melody and her friends clustered around the couch in a dimly lighted corner. She was seen sitting on the floor with her head resting on the seat, eyes closed and didn’t bother how revealing was her low cut dress in that posture. A group of young men were passing drinks and cigarette among them.

“That’s her. What do you want to do?” Ming asked.

Without answering, Sam charged across the dance floor towards the group. Ming let out a sigh and followed. This was not the first time he had to accompany his good friend to locate Melody in one of these clubs. She obviously had big drinking and drug abuse problems.

Sam grabbed Melody’s arm and said, “Melody, you come with me and go home now.”

Melody didn’t bother to move her feeble body, apparently too stoned to bother with what and who was around her.

The men closed in on Sam.

“Who the fuck are you? Buzz off. We found her first.”

They let up when Ming and his bouncer friend stepped in. Ming lifted Melody onto her feet and dragged her out from the club. She was swearing, yelling and kicking all the way. He had gotten used to the drama.

One time, he had to engage in a fist fight to get Melody away from a drunken fellow who thought he got lucky to find a lone stoned young girl in a bar.

Back at Sam’s place, the drama continued with all the puking, swearing and verbal abuses.

“Leave me alone. I do what I like. Don’t you dare to tell me what’s right what’s normal. The whole fucking world is BITCH! Nothing is normal”

“Just calm down, dear. Go to sleep and everything will be ok tomorrow.” Sam was in the usual soft and gentle mood.

After a while, Melody was too drained by the alcohol and drugs and just dropped on her bed and drifted off. The drama was over.

“I know I had said it many times. Ming. Thanks and very sorry to drag you into this again”. Sam said to Ming but didn’t have the courage to look at him.

“Its ok. We have come a long way, you and me. But what are you going to do with her? this can’t go on forever, you know. She has huge problem and you can’t help her.”

“I know. I just can’t leave her. I just can’t. She is the only one I have.” Sam was staring at the floor.

“Sam. She is not for you. She doesn’t deserve you.”

Sam didn’t answer. After a deafening silence, in slow and deliberate voice, Ming said to his close friend, “I know its hard to change. But she is ruining your life. Have you considered, maybe, just leave and stay away for a short while? You know, to let things settle down and give yourself some space and time to think.”

With teary eyes, Sam looked up and said, “I know you want me to be happy and have a more normal life. You are always my best friend. I will really think about what you said. Its late and you have to work tomorrow.”

“OK. You take care, Sam.”

In the darkness, Sam curled up in the couch in a foetal posture. The splendid night sky of KL outside the apartment window was a big contrast.

“We had many good and happy times together. What went wrong?”

“Mother. I wish so much I could listen to you to get married and live a simple life. I am sorry to disappoint you. She is not as bad as others see her as.”

“Oh, mother, how I wish I could still talk to you and hug you. How I wish I was at your side before you left.”

Sam got up and turned on the radio and took out a photo album from a drawer. She looked at the photos of her and her mother, and broke down in tears.

Beyonce’s melodious voice was on the radio.

“If I were a boy, even just for a day …”

Prayer

2012-06-01T00:56:00.001+10:00

This is pretty coarse and unrefined. didn't want to publish it at first. but then, what the hell.

************************************************************************

Its June and the summer afternoon in Lhasa was bright and sunny. Thousands of tourists were crowding the already crowded old city area around the famous Monastery Jokhang. The gilt roof of the magnificent temple glittered under the clear blue sky. Hundreds of small stalls lined the Barkhor bazaar bustling with commercial activities. Local and foreign tourists looking for a bargain and souvenir hawkers wanting a sale created a buzzing but comforting background noise. The old city of Lhasa was very much alive after witnessing so many bloodsheds in the last 50 years.

Lobsang was oblivious to both the crowd and the noise. He held his palms together and repeated the mantra of Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva 3 times. Then, he kneeled down and performed a full stretch bow on the ground. Slowly, he raised, counted a bead on his ring of praying beads, took 2 small steps forward and repeated the same ritual again. He had vowed to continue performing his prayer until he had looped around the old city, which would take days. With every bow, he felt his mind was being cleansed bit by bit, which was manifested in a very calm and peaceful feeling amid the noisy, hot and crowded background. His strong vow kept him going although his body was screaming for a break. “Focus on the mind and observe the pains.” He remembered what his teacher had taught him.

Jane Xia was in her new VW sedan, frowning at the crawling traffic. The AC of the car was at full blast and the cool air brushed through her dyed blonde hair. She looked out of the window behind her pair of Gucci sunglasses and cringed at the sight of those local Tibetan performing their slow prayers.

She just wished to go back to her cosy office and get on the internet to chat with her boyfriend in UK. Lured by the better pay offered to her, she had taken up the vacant manager post in Lhasa from a big traditional medicine supplier. Her shop in Lhasa specialised in supplying Cordyceps or commonly known as “caterpillar fungus”, a very dear traditional herb only found in the Tibetan plateau. She would source and purchase them from the Tibetan peasants at the remote highlands and resell them to the smaller shops in Lhasa and other cities in China. The profit margin could be as high as a few thousands percent.

From her car, she cringed at the sight of Lobsang in his ragged and soiled blue clothes.

“What a broken place. If not for our liberation, these people are still slaves serving their landlords. “

When she was on the computer and chatting with her boyfriend afterwards, she wrote “our leaders were right to say religion is the opium of society. These uneducated people still worship their expelled Dalai Lama and don’t know how to utilise their time to develop their economy. What a broken place!”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=

In a small café in Barkhor Bazaar, Giana and her friend Paulo were enjoying their ice coffees. They had had some tiring days visiting the monasteries.

“I think there is a reason why a country is undeveloped. Look at them, indulged in so many useless rituals. I m sure they don’t know what they are doing besides following what had been told to them without understanding.”

Giana pointed to the few Tibetans performing the full stretch prayer not far from the café.

“A religion without substance and love.” Giana added.

“Do you remember the thousands of scripture we saw in the monasteries, but without one single book to tell them which one is the real truth?”

Paulo nodded while sipping his ice coffee.

Giana continued, “Worst of all, they still worship human idol, their Dalai Lama.”

“These people are probably doing their prayers because they have a lot of guilt inside them. They’re probably hoping the ritual will cleanse their karma.” Paulo broke his silence. A medical doctor from Portugal, he was trained to be observant and analytical.

“And” he said while pointing to a bowing old man in ragged blue clothes, “if he keeps doing this, very soon he will hurt his knee and elbow joints. So badly that he may not be able even to walk. Under this hot sun and strong UV, I don’t know how long they can hold.” Paulo shook his head empathically.

“Well, that’s not our problem if they want to be ignorant and refuse salvation.” Said Giana.

“I am so tired of all these nonsense about reincarnated monks. They’d obviously chosen those who they wanted to choose to become the high monks. The normal people don’t involve. It’s a plot to control the people.”

“I will leave in 2 days and fly directly from Beijing to Rome. I m so excited because I may have to chance to see the Pope in real person”

“Yeah. It is good to see the holy Papal.” Paulo said.

Lobsang carried on with his prayer although it’s late at night and the streets in the old city were almost empty except for a few fellow prayers. His mind was as clear as the cloudless summer night sky. He was hungry, thirsty and tired but they seemed remotely distant from him. He smiled and continued his prayer of Avalokitesvara Mantra.

Thousands of miles away in Beijing, the capital city of PRC, thousands of local tourists were at the famous Tian-an-men square. Across the road, overlooking the square was a huge colour portrait of the late Chairman Mao.

A teacher was explaining the history of the square to her group of young students.

“That’s our great leader Chairman Mao. All of you bow and pay your respect” she pointed to the portrait and told her students.

Thousands of miles away in Vatican City, centre of Rome, thousands of believers of the faith gathered around Saint Peter’s square. They were waiting patiently and orderly for the Pope to appear from his study. Usually the pope would appear, wave and to be applauded by the waiting crowd.

Great Compassion

2012-05-19T00:15:00.002+10:00

The lecture theatre was almost fully packed 1 hour before the scheduled start time of the seminar. Most of them were young people from all corners of the country. Vincent Janaka Tan was a famous speaker among the young Buddhists. As oppose to the other dhamma speakers who appeared too rhetoric, too serious to the younger crowd, Vincent Janaka put across his presentations through jokes, music and punch lines, which were widely accepted and liked by them. More importantly, his speeches were pragmatic and a break from the traditions, which the youngsters liked.

He adopted the name Janaka after his first pilgrimage trip to India and Nepal and visited the 4 most holy sites of Buddhist belief. Janaka was the family name of an ancient race of kings in Indian legend.

“It symbolises conqueror of own self and be the king to rule over our greed, anger and ignorance, instead of being a slave of them”. He explained when asked.

The seminar started on time when the modestly dressed Vincent Janaka arrived just 5 minutes before the scheduled time. After the usual chanting of prayer, he started his seminar with a short story.

“In an old temple, lived an old master, his disciples and a noisy donkey. Whenever they practised meditation, the old master would ask his disciples to tie a muffler over the donkey lest it disturb their concentration. After the master died, his disciples continued this practice of muffling the donkey. Years later, the donkey died. They bought a new one so that they have a donkey to muffle during every meditation session. They even recorded this as an important ritual that must be followed, as taught and practised by the wise old master.”

The crowd laughed and gave him a round of applause.

“That’s what I want to present to you today. Break the rituals and traditions that inhibit our minds. Clear it, clean it through real Dhamma practices and throw out the donkey muffler.”

“All of you know about the panca-sila or 5 precepts. Simple stuff right? No Killing, No Stealing, No Sexual Misconduct, No Lying and No Intoxicant Abuse.”

“But, no, this is not all, we have to do more. We not only stop killing, we save lives, we don’t do things that endanger lives, we respect human rights, we respect animals right to live. Have COMPASSION for every being.”

“We not only don’t steal and rob; we live a simple and modest life to quest our internal desires.”

Another round of applause and the seminar went on with great success. The organiser was happy to have spent the money and time to invite Vincent Janaka to be the speaker. He was almost a star. Although the cost of inviting him was not cheap but it all worth-it with the gains the organiser would receive in return.

“So, forget what the old school had taught you in rituals and traditions. Go back to the fundamental. Be a fundamentalist as far as practising Buddhism is concerned. The final four messages I want to deliver to you all. Practise loving kindness, show compassion to all living beings, let go of your troubles and be happy for yourself and everyone around you. Thank you.”

After all the audience had left, Vincent Janaka went to meet his wife at Hilton Hotel which the organiser had booked for him.

“This will be a tiring trip. There are a few more places I have to speak at and we won’t be home until next Monday.” Vincent told his wife, Cherry, about his itinerary during dinner.

Cherry sighed and took a big sip of the martini.

“I guess I have to shop around while waiting for you.” She said.

4 days later, they arrived back home late at night and were greeted by the security guard posted at the front entrance of the gated community compound. He smiled warmly to the guard from his car when he opened the gate for him. All the guards like him and Cherry for they were warm, friendly and generous on tips.

Cherry unlocked the anti break-in deadbolt lock on their door while Vincent Janaka was parking the car in the drive way. All the doors and windows of their house were refitted with sophisticated anti break-in locks. The locks were much secured that even if someone managed to get into the house, he can’t unlock from inside and get out easily. They spent most of the time away from home and it was a necessary investment.

“I will go and wake that lazy girl to make supper and do the laundry. She better didn’t make a mess while she was alone in the house for four days, or she will know what real hunger feels like.” Cherry said before she went to the maid’s room.

Ina sat on the mattress laid on the floor and waited for her mistress. She knew there would be more work for her after they were back. She preferred them away and she got to stay alone in the house, even though she couldn’t get out or make any telephone calls.

Most of all, she wished she didn’t leave her village in Indonesia and came to Malaysia to work as a maid.

A Dream

2012-05-12T00:49:00.001+10:00

A very short story. No moral lesson intended.

___________________________________________

Graeme grabbed his handphone on the bedside and randomly pressed a button. The screen lighted up. It was 3:21 am. The exact same time he had been waking up from the very same dream every night since few weeks ago.

“This is insane.” He thought. He remembered the stories of those B-class horror movies he had seen in the past. Recurring dream was one of the favourite plots those directors liked. Never had he thought it would happen to him in real life. “Is there a message for me? Or m I just going nuts?”

Every night, an old lady dressed in dark brown and a green hat would appear in his dream and repeated 3 simple words over and over again to him.

“DO RI MI.”

Although he didn’t usually remember his dreams, this one appeared very clear to him, down to the details. If the other dreams were low resolution VHS, this one was of HD Blueray DVD quality. The old lady was rather plumb and had an friendly elderly smile on her wrinkled face, far from a scrawny toothless witch with crooked nose in black type that Graeme would associate with nightmares. He could remember the details down to the dirt she had on her bare feet, the chirps of bird he heard and the nice smell of fresh fruits when she appeared. There was no hostility besides the 3 words that she kept repeating. “DO RI MI”.

“Who is she and what does she want from me?” Graeme wondered.

He told his friends about this recurring dream in the evening at a pub and everyone had their share of opinion and theory.

“She might be warning you of an imminent danger or risk in your life. Just be careful when you go back to work.” Warned Shannon, who had great interest in shamanism and the mystical world.

Graeme took a mental note on that comment. He was a consultant civil engineer whose work was building highways and bridges which required him to do a lot of travelling around the world. Although it was not a high risk job, he had been injured by machineries and fallen objects in the past.

“She could be fragment of past memories from your past life.” Said Andrew, who was a believer in Tibetan Tantric Buddhism.

After a few rounds of beers, their conversion drifted to some other topics and the dream was not brought up again.

Before they left the pub, Mable said casually to Graeme. “Maybe she was asking for your help, Graeme.” She had been quiet on the subject when the rest were talking about it. Mable was a quiet person and seldom spoke out in the group. She socialised but didn’t usually give her share of opinions.

Graeme looked at her sparkling green eyes, gave a nod but said nothing. The beers had made him a bit light headed and he needed a good sleep, after so many early morning waking ups from that dream.

The old lady in her usual outfit walked slowly towards Graeme. He could see an apparent limping on her this time. Her smile was replaced by a worried face, but she still carried with her an unmistakeable aura of friendliness and peace.

“Stop. Do Ri Mi.” She repeated the words over and over again to Graeme.

“What do you want from me, Madam?” Graeme found that he could talk to her.

“Stop. Do Ri Mi.” She said in a very soft and coarse voice and then turned and limped away from Graeme.

Graeme ran after her and asked, “Where do you come from, Madam?”

She turned and said, “Four two one”.

Graeme was jerked awake by the message alert tone of his handphone. He checked and cursed. It was a promotional SMS sent by a big shopping mall back home in Adelaide, Australia.

He checked the time. It was 4:30 am. He felt puzzled by the break of routine. The old lady had come to him at different hours and she spoke more this time. Her change and the apparent limping had made Graeme felt uneasy. He could sense something was unusual and he thought of Shannon’s warning.

“What is Do Ri Mi? And where is four two one?”

Graeme’s mind was occupied by this and he could focus on his work at the construction site. He was supervising the construction of a bridge across a river at a small city in Papua New Guiney. It was a historical city, built by the English long time ago. The fort was now all but a ruin of some old pillars and scattered bricks.

The workers were digging up rocks with big earth moving machines to build the foundation for the bridge. The trees around the planned site were also being cleared to make way for the big machines and cranes.

At the moment, the workers were trying to fell a huge tree which was rooted deeply and firmly in the ground. Even 2 big excavators couldn’t push it down. So a few days ago, Graeme had ordered them to start digging at the root to loosen the grip.

The afternoon sun was scorching on Graeme and he found shelter under a tree not too far from the digging excavators. They had dug a big hole around the huge tree and exposed its massive solid root system that had probably taken hundreds of years to grow to the present size. The machines went in and started to push on the massive tree trunk. It was starting to give way.

Graeme heard a crack above him and looked up just in time to see a fallen limb from the tree he was standing under, heading straight toward him. Before he could react, he felt a knock on his head and fell on the ground.

He saw the old lady walking away from him and he ran after her.

“Wait up, please.” He yelled but she didn’t turn and got further and further from him.

“Mr. Graeme, are you OK?”

He heard voices around him and opened his eyes slowly. In his blurred vision, he saw the old lady right in front of him in her dark brown dress and green hat.

He jumped to his feet and stared at the huge tree. She WAS the old lady in his dream!

“Do Ri Mi…. Don’t Rip Me! That’s what she had been trying to tell me. Oh my God! And that’s the reason why she was limping. We had hurt her roots.”

“But where is Four Two One? Why did she say Four Two One?” Graeme was mumbling softly to himself.

The massive tree in front of him finally fell after a final push from the powerful modern machines, slowly at first then gathering momentum and hit the ground with a loud “Thump”.

Regretfully, Graeme walked over to the fallen tree and put his palms on the massive trunk.

“I m sorry, Madam. I didn’t get your message in time to save you.”

Buried among the exposed roots was a stone block with 4 words carved on it.

“FORT TOWONG. 1720”

"thank you."

2012-02-28T20:13:00.000+11:00

By Author Anon.

I was hungry, And you formed a humanities club and discussed my hunger. Thank You.
I was imprisoned, And you crept off quietly to the chapel in your cellar and prayed for my release. Thank You.
I was naked, And in your mind you debated the morality of my appearance. Thank You.
I was sick, And you knelt and thanked God for your health. Thank You.
I was homeless, And you preached to me of the spiritual shelter of the love of God. Thank You.
I was lonely, And you left me alone to pray. Thank You.
You seem so holy, So close to God.
BUT I'm still very hungry, And lonely, And cold.

You just can't get rid of em

2012-02-20T13:34:00.001+11:00

You just can’t get rid of them all.

Farmer Patrick was happy today. He had made the right decision to convert his farm from the traditional livestock enterprise to an eco-farm. The return had been good and work load had been much less than running livestock. At least he didn’t have to worry about breeding, weaning, making hay and most importantly, the meat price was not his worry anymore. Now, his focus has shifted to keeping the farm green, clean and tidy. Livestock is more for show than for sales.

The initial investment was high as he had to build a few farm stay rooms for the visiting tourists from the cities. But now he could be more relax and less dependent on the weather and soil. He still maintained a small mob of cattle and small flock of sheep. This has been his interest to focus more on breeding stocks than for meat market.

Everyone in the tour group looked in awe when Farmer Patrick brought in his price bull on a leash. It was a majestic 800 kg beast but as docile as a pet poodle.

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is Magnus, our price bull of the farm. He is a Red Angus breed and is 5 years old now.”

A man in the group raised his hand and asked, “how did you train him to be so quiet and obedient?”

That’s the question in the head of many of the people in the same group.

“Well, we have to do it while he was still a calf. The technique is called ‘break-in’. It means, you have to break the animal spirit to struggle, to fight back until it gives in and submits.”

“How do we do that? We choose a few good quality calves and separate them from the rest as soon as they are weaned. Then we put halters on them and tie them up on short leash every day. At first them would struggle and kick. We just let them until them became tired. This goes on for a few months until the struggling and kicking cease. By then, they are used to the leash and give up struggling. This is the time we go and touch and talk to them, for them to get use to the touching and human voice. After a few months, we will punch a hole inside their nose and put a nose ring through it. With this, we have better control as it pains them if the nose ring is pulled and they will not be restless.” Patrick gave the thin rope that attached to the nose ring of the bull a small tug to illustrate to the crowd.

“What do you do those that can’t break-in?” the man asked again.

“We cull them. Sell them to the butcher. Bad temperament is bad trait in livestock. Nobody would want to breed cattle that fight back.” Farmer Patrick explained patiently.

“How nice if I could do that to my wife.” The man who asked question said jokingly.

“My friend, that’s physical abuse and you can be charged for domestic violence” Farmer Patrick said. Everyone in the group laughed.

“That’s not the worst type of abuse. At least physical abuses leave clear evidence of assaults. There are those smart abusers who crash you mentally without a trace of presentable evidence.” Another lady joined in.

Shanthi followed the group and walked to watch sheep shearing in the next farm shed. She saw how a big fat sheep was caught, flipped over on its back and dragged by the strong shearer. The shearer then held it between his legs and started shearing its wool from the chest. Shanthi noticed that the animal just laid there and taking the assault quietly without a sound or struggle even when the shearer went too hard and scrapped a big piece of skin from its hind leg.

“Another case of break-in and give in” she thought to herself.

After the shows, the group was led to a small shed for refreshment. It was a hot summer day and everyone appreciated the cool shed and the cold lemonade being served.

A lady asked “you have cows and sheep in the farm. But why there isn’t any goat?”

Farmer Patrick smiled and replied, “Goats are bloody hard to control. They are not like sheep that can be managed easily. Goats jump over fence, they trash your vegetable garden and they use their horns on your sheep dogs. So my friends, I don’t keep them to save me some troubles.”

“Hmm… probably that’s the reason some religions depict devil as a goat face, because they don’t obey.” Another lady nodded slowly and said.

Shanthi listened and was in deep thought.

“What is better? To be a sheep or a goat?” she thought.

After the tour, the group boarded a bus that took them on a 2 hours journey back to the city.

Shanthi was sitting alone at the back. Her eyes were closed but her mind was not at rest. What she saw at the farm triggered flashback of old memories, those that she tried very hard not to remember.

Shanthi was the envy of all of her friends when she was married to Prasath at the age of 22. He was the perfect guy in the eyes of everyone, including her parents. Prasath had everything a girl wanted in a husband. He was from Brahmin cast, qualified doctor, well mannered and good looking. She thought she was the luckiest girl in the world on her wedding day.

Being a young wife, she was eager to learn how to be a good wife. She took advice from the older ladies in the family how to serve her husband and how to take care of the family. She quit her job and became a full time house carer. Her house was meticulously cleaned and tidied up.

At first, Prasath’s displeasure came as small complains. He didn’t like the color of the table cloths, or where she placed the flower pots. After a while, his complains became more frequent and more personal. He would relate his displeasure to Shanthi’s incompetence.

“How could you make such bad looking cup cakes? I m sure it is due to your lack of higher education.” He would say it in a matter of fact tone, shook his head and walked away, leaving his hurt wife with a hung head and teary eyes.

Shanthi tried her vey best to improve but she could never catch up with Prasath’s expectation. The verbal abuses started to get very personal and her family was not spared. This really hurt Shanthi but she couldn’t fight back. She had nobody to go to as well. In front of others, Prasath always put up a caring husband act and received approval from everybody including their parents.

When her mother saw that she wasn’t happy, she would tell Shanthi. “Be happy with what you have, Shanthi. You have a good husband who takes care of you. Other girls are so envious of you.”

Shanthi would just stay quiet. In her heart, she knew it must be her own fault to displease Prasath. She needed to listen more to what he said and just do things as he told her to do.

On another occasion, she had learnt not to have her own opinions if she had to please her husband.

Prasath came home and stormed into the house. He yelled at her at the door.

“Did you just ask that Bangla boy to cut my lawn?”

Sensing another verbal assault on its way, Shanthi nodded slowly.

“Are you out of your tiny, empty brain? To allow that filthy Bangla to step in my garden? I wonder if stupidity is a genetic heredity. You must have got it from your parents.”

“But he is cheaper and does a better job. Our neighbours also call for his service” Shanthi tried to defend her action.

“You stupid woman. Do you want me to throw out of here? Now get in the kitchen. I don’t want to see your less intelligent face. Why it is always you who ruin the harmony of this house? ”

In her third year of married life, Shanthi looked and behaved like a different person. She didn’t socialise with her friends anymore and her self confidence was so low that she couldn’t even decide what clothes to buy for herself. Any day that passed without being yelled at was a good day. Deep inside, she kept telling herself to listen and follow what Prasath said and he would be happier with her.

One day, Prasath came home earlier than normal day, just after her mother ended her visit and left. He was fuming as soon as he closed the front door.

“Did your mother just take something from my house?” He yelled at Shanthi loudly. She could smell whiskey in his breath.

“Those are the old clothes that you asked me to throw away. Mom is giving them to an old relative who is in the old folk home now.” Shanthi answered carefully, hoping to avoid another verbal abuse.

“Don’t lie to me. You brainless woman. She is obviously taking them to sell. I really don’t understand how your whole family can be such a bad example. Could it be bad karma in past life?”

“Prasath, please leave my family out of this.” Shanthi pleaded.

Prasath went on. “Your whole family is a bunch of useless parasites. Do you think I don’t know it? They are eyeing my wealth. If there is such thing as genetic rubbish, your family will make a classic example”

“STOP it NOW!” Shanthi was surprised to find the courage to stand up this time.

Prasath was angered by her courage. He raced up the stairs to where she was standing and grabbed her long hair from behind.

“How dare you talk back to me?” he was yelling in red face. He forced her to go down on her knees and rested his left foot on her lowered head and started rubbing his shoe on her.

“If you dare to talk back again, I will make you lick my shoes. Moron. If I were you, I would go for a plastic surgery.” Prasath let go of her and started towards the stairs.

Shanthi couldn’t take this anymore. She grabbed a hammer from a drawer and smacked Prasath in his head with all her might.

It gave a dull “thump” sound and Prasath collapsed. Before he fell onto the floor, Shanthi gave his body a push and he rolled down the stairs.

Shanthi sat on the top step of the stairs and stared at Prasath’s lifeless body for a long time and finally went to pick up the phone.

The police believed her story on how Prasath came home drunk, missed his step on the stairs and fell to his death. His post-mortem results showed high alcohol level in his blood and the heavy fall could cause the injuries in his head and neck. More importantly, everybody testified that they were loving couples and nobody had seen them in argument. There was no motive for any foul play.

The bus pulled over at the station and everyone got out. Shanthi walked slowly behind the crowd to the car park. She told herself it’s time to let the past go and begin a new life. Just as he lifted her head, to her horror, she saw Prasath. He was yelling furiously at another woman who hung her head down and didn’t reply. Shanthi was sure it was him. She followed them from behind to the car park and tailed their car back to their house. She waited in her car which she parked further down the road.

She calmly took out the iron hammer from the glove box of the car and wiped it with a velvet cloth.

Iron is more trustworthy than any man and she will make sure she does it right this time, no matter how many times she has to do it.

Don't raise your horns, really?

2011-11-21T03:16:00.001+11:00

More on sheep and goat.

I wrote something on comparison of sheep and goat 3 years ago. Today I read an article about the same and felt complied to write a bit more for another aspect.

Generally, a sheep is docile, conforming, follows the herd, obeys the shepherd and his dogs, non combative, doesn’t argue and stays where he/she is fenced up at.

On the other hand, a goat goes his/her own way, fights the dogs, jumps fences, questions authority.

Regardless of who you want to be, a sheep or a goat, there are always external forces trying to make you into one or another.

So, who would prefer a world full of sheep?

1. Governments. The more sheep in the country, the easier for them to rule. This is especially true for those great leaders the likes of Chairman Mao, Stalin, Hitler, or more recently Mr. Kim, Mr. Hussein, Mr. Lee, Mr. Mahathir, the list goes on. These great leaders despise and hate goats. Rightly so, the goats question them, challenge them and fight them.

More than 2 thousand years ago, the son of Joseph and Mary did just that and guess what they did to him? They nailed him on a wooden cross. That’s how great governments dealt with annoying goats.

Recently, there were some really unhealthy happenings in the middle east. Some great leaders were challenged and brought down by their own goats. This is most outrages and unthinkable! They supposed to be docile sheep and run away when the shepherd unleashed the dogs on them. Instead, they turned around and raised their horns and sent the dogs running with tails between their legs.

2. Organised religions. This is not to be confused with religions, as most of us usually equal them as the same. In reality, religion and organized religion are 2 very different things. Religion is about spiritual, finding universal truth, betterment of oneself, self cultivation, enlightenment. Whereas, organized religion is about rule, control, impose, dictate, oppress, punish and so on, all wrapped up in a thin sugar coat of called “divine order”.

As in the case of governments, organized religions condemn goats and will not hesitate to put them on the chopping board if they have the opportunity. That’s the reason all organized religions demand their subjects to be sheep. “Don’t raise your horns” goes one famous quote. “Obey the shepherd and submit to him” says another. Being a goat, you would probably raise your hand and ask “who are the shepherds?”. You will be frowned upon for asking silly questions. Of course the shepherds are the appointed ones by the divine force, whoever that is depending on which organized religion, who are given divine right to guide and bring you back to the right path, i.e. be a docile sheep. If you dare to ask “how do we know what you say is true?”, they will expedite your passage to eternal hell by burning you alive. But fear not, at least your soul will be save because they will pray for you for the entire BBQ party.

Just few hundred years ago, they rounded up thousands of goats, labeled them witches and sorcerers, and burnt them alive. Best of all, they made all the sheep in the city to witness the roasting session. What’s better than a real life lesson on “don’t raise your horns”?

There’s another great thing about organized religions. When their numbers are small, they are usually the oppressed and at the receiving end. When their number builds up, in a blink of an eye, they begin giving out divine punishments to the sheep and goats. Such a wonderful thing.

3. Perfect spouse or partner. You should just worship your perfect partner for he/she knows everything and does no wrong. Anything less than admiration and total devotion is unforgiven. A sheep is a perfect match for a perfect partner who needs lots of respects, admirations and ego boosts. Can you imagine a goat in that position? “The Nepalese are dark because most of them are fishermen at the sea back home.” A sheep would answer “wow. You are so knowledgeable and smart.” The perfect spouse gets his/her daily dose of respect and ego boost. All is well. A goat would roll his/her eyeball and say “I think Nepal is a land locked country and has no coastline.” The perfect spouse can’t be wrong and so a domestic argument will happen, which will break down the family – the basic building block of our civilized society. Do you want that to happen?
Only if all wives are sheep, they wouldn't set up and promote the superbly relevent "Obedient Wife Club" or affectionately called OWC, to educate and bring the goat wives back to the right path. No prize for guessing. of course to become a docile sheep, with added spice of husband pleasing sexual "behaviors".

Now, do you see my concerns? Being a goat means you are ungrateful, troublemaker, law breaker, go against divine rules, etc. your acts are punishable and the good shepherd will not hesitate to crack his whip and let their dogs on you.

Ask any livestock farmer and their will tell you docile-ness is one of most important criteria when they choose an animal at a yard. Polled or horn-less breeds are preferred. Most of them burn the horn butt off on young kids and lambs so they will not grow again.

So do you still want to raise your horns and jump the fence? Repent and be a docile sheep now.

How to win an argument

2011-08-29T02:07:00.000+10:00

How to win an argument?

Occasionally, like it or not, we argue with others. As winning is always a must for us high achievers, we have to do what it takes to win an argument.

There are a few techniques to win an argument or debate that will make you an admirable high achiever, and make those underachievers look up upon you. The beauty of these techniques is you don’t even have to know what your opponent’s arguments are. So, it is sort of a set of universal techniques that fits all debate and let you win all of them effortlessly.

1. 1. Attack the messenger. Focus your assaults on the person instead of his/her arguments. The meaner you attack the messenger, the higher your chance of winning the debate. If practiced well enough, winning comes naturally by sending your opponents speechless and too busy defending themselves and forget about the real debate.

Example: You can’t even speak proper English, you points can’t be correct. Go back to school loser.

John is a low IQ dumb, if you believe what he said, you are a greater dumb .

2. 2. Reduce and distort the opposite opinions. This is technically called the “strawman” technique. It basically means build a reduced and distorted version of your opponent’s argument and then beat it up easily with a single blow like beating a strawman.

Example: Capitalism is nothing more than the rich exploiting the poor. So we must fight it with all our might.

Building a highway will create more accidents that kill. So we must object to this new proposal.

3. 3. Accuse hidden motive. This is also a very effective method to divert the attention from the direct arguments and instead focus the audience attention to your opponent’s immoral hidden agendas. Note that you don’t have to give a damn about what your opponent’s argument is.

Example: You support non violent just because you are a Buddhist who is on an evil mission to convert all the good Christians and Muslims in our audience.

You are saying global warming is a threat because you are a Greenie who wants to destroy the good economy of our country.

4. 4. Attack the weaker relatives. This is also termed as “kick his shin” technique. An experienced debater will be able to look for an irrelevant but related point and start attacking it to make the audience believe the actual arguments are being debated and beaten up badly.

Example: Socialism is spoken many times by the evil communists, which means socialism is equally evil and if not banned from our good society, it will destroy all beloved country.

If we haven’t seen a monkey changing into human, the theory of evolution must be flawed.

5. 5. False options. Make your opponent choose between 2 options that are made up by you. This forces them to focus on your two options, whereas there are many more options to choose from. They are doomed whatever they choose because the options are cleverly designed to entrap them. This requires some levels of smartness but will come naturally if practiced a few times.

Example: Pakatan Rakyat is a corrupt party, so we have to vote for UMNO.

Do you want to be a religionless communist or a God fearing good Republican?

6. 6. False assumptions. This is a very tricky but effective way of confusing the opponents and beat them up after that. It involves giving a pseudo assumption that seems rock solid and hence make your argument undebatable.

Example: Most of the residents speak English which means they are educated and hence the theft must have been committed by the villagers outside of our community.

Look at the cows, they are vegetarians and yet they can grow so healthy. So being vegetarian is also good for our growth.

7. 7. Self referencing argument. This is used by many winners in human history with great successes. It is a powerful tool if used together with technique (3) above. The examples below are self evident.

Example: Communism is the greatest way of life on earth because Chairman Mao had said it numerous times in his Red book.

If your opponent detects the self referencing in your “circular logic” argument, quickly switch to technique (3) to question his hidden motives.

I know you are a bloody racist. Chairman Mao is the beloved leader of 1.3 billion Chinese. Just because you have white supremacy in your blood, you hate all Chinese.

If all of the above fail, you may have no choice but to resort to the dumbest, least effective and most time consuming method. Do research to back your opinions and counter your opponents with data and figures. Most of the time, you will lose an argument this way especially if your opponent employs the above methods instead.

Happy debating.

LOST

2011-08-22T02:51:00.000+10:00

Under the shadows of the big trees, Mary was frantically scanning the forest looking for a hint of a foot path or any familiar signs. Although every tree was different, the tropical rain forest around her seemed the same – huge, tall trees with sparse undergrowth.

The sun was setting and Mary knew it would be dark very soon. She checked her watch. 6:25pm. At most, another 30 minutes before it would be too dark to navigate in the forest. She had a compass but it didn’t help a bit for someone with little experience. A compass was useful only if she knew her location and a map to guide her.

“Don’t panic, Mary. You can do this.” She told herself.

Mary came to Borneo with 2 other fellow researchers to do field studies on beetles that fed on decayed vegetations. This was a major part of her post graduate thesis. She loved bugs even when she was a little girl. Her friends would scream and jump, while she would pick up a spider and looked at it with full interest. Very few would appreciate how amazing these small creatures with segmented body were. They thrived in harsh environments where other creatures failed. They outnumbered other creatures by thousands times.

She loved the tropical forest and enjoyed the 2 weeks field trip very much. This was the last trip where they had to hike to a remote part of the forest to collect samples and had to stay a few nights in the forest. They had 2 very experienced local guides who knew the forest like their back yard.

Mary came out with another researcher Jane to collect beetles after they had set camp near a waterfall. Marang, their lead guide wouldn’t allow them to go into the forest alone.

“It’s too easy to get lost. Everywhere looks the same. If you make a step in the wrong direction, you may not find your way again.”

Mary now knew he was right. She had asked Jane to go back while she took a short detour to get some leave samples by the stream.

“The foot path is pretty clear and I won’t be lost” she had said jokingly to Jane.

She went to the stream, collected the leave samples and back tracked. While walking, she had a strange feeling she wasn’t on the right track. Maybe she had missed a turn.

So she turned and walked back. There was indeed a faint path between 2 tall trees. One of them had a big branch broken from the main trunk. She followed that path but it ended before a steep slope. Mary knew she didn’t come that way and back tracked.

She walked for a while but didn’t find the junction and the 2 tall trees where she came from.

She scanned and she saw the two tall trees were not far away on her right. The sparse undergrowth didn’t look too hard to get through.

“The footpath is just behind the trees. I can get back to camp once I see the path.”

She walked toward the tall trees and found that although the undergrowth was sparse, vines and fallen branches were making it hard to get through. Her backpack got hooked on a branch and she fell on her knees.

“Can’t get through from here. I will walk around this small slope.”

She walked around some big trees and was tripped a few times. When she got back on her feet, her target trees were gone from sight.

To her horror, she couldn’t remember where she started.

“Dang! Should have left some marks” she blamed herself.

With no choice, she moved towards the direction which she thought was right. After a few turns, she knew she was in trouble as she had no clue where she was and the sun was setting fast.

Mary checked her watch again. 6:50pm. The forest was almost dark save for the little sunlight that filtered through the thick canopy.

“Help! Help!” Mary was overwhelmed by panic and called out for help.

Exhausted and in fear, she rested under a huge tree with trunk thicker than a pickup truck. Under the shade, it’s unusually clear of undergrowth.

Mary knew it was better for her to stay put and wait for help. It’s too dangerous to wander in the dark forest, although she knew there weren’t any big animals in the Borneo forest that would harm her.

A cold evening breeze chilled her sweat soaked body. She had goose bumps all over and felt her hair was standing on her head.

Her whole body shivered as if she had entered a meat freezer.

Before she blacked out, she thought the cold breeze had a faint scent of incense.

Marang took a deep drag on his cigarette. It’s still early in the morning and the foggy forest around him was quiet. He had a worried look on his face and felt uncomfortable of what had happened. He lived his whole life in this part of the Borneo tropical rain forest and knew and saw many things that beyond the comprehension of city folks. The forest was a different world compared to the villages and the cities.

He could tell which part of the forest he’s in by the sound of the insects and birds. The seemingly uniform forest was unique and had distinguishable features in his eyes. Different parts of the forest had distinctive smells of leaves, rotting vegetation. Even the breeze was a sign for him to find his way in the forest. His senses worked optimally here.

Ironically, when he occasionally went to the cities, he couldn’t find his way in a shopping mall. He couldn’t remember what floor he was on and the shops looked the same to him, although they had names on them.

They found Mary wandering in the forest after she didn’t return to the camp that night. She was walking in the dark without a light. When he found her, she had a big smile on her face and her eyes were sparkling in the flash light.

Back in camp, Mary didn’t say a word to anyone but was grinning all the time. Marang was uncomfortable with this. He started a camp fire and stayed up all night.

In another hour, the sun would rise and wake up the forest. The insects and birds would start their day loud and happy, followed by the gibbons and leaf monkeys. This morning symphony was loud but peacefully rhythmic, just like the breaking of surf on the beach.

Nik, the other guide, walked to Marang and handed him a coffee in a tin mug.

“Jaga-jaga si Mary tu. Ada yang tak kena” (watch out on Mary. Something not right) He said to Nik.

Nik nodded and then shook his head and sighed.

At that moment, they saw Mary crawled out from the tent and walked towards the trees, smile on her face.

Both men ran after her and grabbed her arms. Mary turned to face them. Her eyes were big and her gaze was wild.

She smiled and bared her teeth.

“Taring aku cantik kah?” (are my fangs pretty?) she asked in a high pitch voice, in the local language.

Marang knew his worst worry came true. Without a word, he and Nik dragged her back towards the camp. Mary was struggling frantically and almost over powered the two strong men.

“Lepaskan aku. Lepaskan aku” (let me go!) She screamed and kicked.

Can’t get her arms free from the men, Mary bared her teeth and tried to bite them but was quickly pushed away. They finally had to tie her up to prevent her from injuring herself.

The other researchers were woke up by the commotion and looked at them bewilderedly.

“Stop this at once and let her go.” Matthew protested. He was the leader among the researchers.

“Something is inside her and we can’t let her run wild in the forest.”

“Nonsense! She needs medical treatment. That’s what she needs right now”

“Mr. Matthew, how do you explain she speaking the Malay language? She is a Dutch, mind you”

Matthew kept quiet. He knew Marang was probably right. Being an intellect trained in science, he wanted to find a scientific explanation to this.

“Maybe she had heard the language here and learnt it in her sub conscious mind. You know, people can do amazing things with their sub conscious mind.”

Matthew tried to explain. Jane put a hand on his shoulder and signaled to him to keep quiet.

“Aku mau pulang! Laki ku menunggu!” (I want to go home. My man is waiting) Mary kept screaming and yelling.

Marang didn’t know what to do. He knew he can’t take Mary out from the forest. What started here must end here. Taking a possessed person out of the forest might keep the spirit in her forever. At the same time, he couldn’t stay in the forest for too long lest endangering the other researchers under his charge. He heard tales of forest spirits attracting each others. He also worried about the safety of Mary. Being possessed for too long would drain her and do permanent damages to her. She might lose her mind and the worst, she might drop dead.

It seemed they were not alone here. There’s at least another unseen being lurking in the forest, if what Mary said was anything to go with. There might be more of them.

Having lived in the forest all his life, he was certainly not naïve to the realm of spirits and other unseen beings. They were called “Penunggu” in his language, which meant Guardian. They usually left people alone unless that poor person had done something wrong or offensive to them.

There was also another type of being which were feared by the local tribe. The locals called them “Puaka” (demon) and they were believed to be ferocious. Marang knew of many tales where villages were possessed by Puaka and most of these tales didn’t have pleasant endings.

He heard tale of a possessed woman from the Iban tribe who chewed on her own fingers. By the time they stopped her, all her 10 fingers were gone.

Marang could send Nik to get help from the village but the return trip would take 2 days. That would be too long and too painful for poor Mary to bear.

The sun had warmed up the forest and fog was gone. The forest was again transformed into a busy and alive place, with all the sounds of the insects, bird and animals.

Marang was alarmed by voices in the forest. They turned out to be the honey collectors from the Iban village. He called out to them and they came to the camp.

An elderly man looked at Mary and talked to Marang in his language. He nodded after Marang explained to him what had happened.

“I am going to take her to the forest where we found her and the Ibans will help to make the spirit leave her” He explained to the group and asked Nik to take charge while he was away.

In the forest under the huge tree without undergrowth, the old man encircled Mary with a ring of stones. He put the offering of ice wine and honey under the huge tree trunk. The other Iban men pour rice wine around the tree while reciting words of prayer to the ancestors.

“Nenek datang nggak di jemput. Nenek pulang nggak dihantar. Sila pergi Nenek. Cucu mohon.” He repeated the recital many times.

(Elder, you came uninvited. You go without sendoff. Please leave. We plead.)

Mary stood there still with a grin on her face. The forest around them was quiet and still. Not a single sound of insects or birds.

“Aku mau layang” (I want to float in air) she hissed out the words.

The old man poured rice wine on her face and without warning smacked her head hard with his palm. Mary fell on the ground and passed out.

They felt a cold breeze swept through and before long the warm sunlight and sounds of insects were back.

Without delay, Marang took Mary back to camp site and asked the group to pack up and leave immediately.

Back in the city, when Matthew asked her what had happened to her, Mary said she can’t remember.

“I was like in a dream. In the dream, I was tethered to a huge tree and kept walking around it. It was really, really cold and I don’t remember anything else besides that tree.”

“What happened after that?”

“I felt someone hit me on the head. Before I wake up, I heard a voice. She said ‘I shall come for you’. It’s in a foreign language but I understood it. I woke up and found myself in the camp and you guys around me. Funny dream, isn’t it?”

“Yes. Just a dream. It’s just a dream Mary.”

Rasheeni's cries

2011-07-31T04:07:00.001+10:00

For thousands of Rasheenis out there. I hate myself for not doing more than weeping for you.

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Its 3pm in the afternoon and the small lane in the outskirt of Kathmandu is crowded as usual. Rasheeni is walking home from school. As in any day, she walks faster than her friends as she has to get home quickly. A lot of chores are waiting for her at home.

She changes quickly and hangs up her only school uniform, which she has to wear for another 4 days. She takes the leftovers from a big tin pot on the only table in their tiny shed and goes to feed the chickens. After that’s done, she rinses the pot with water she bucketed from the river 2 days ago and starts to boil rice on a small kerosene burner. While waiting for it to cook, she changes the urine soaked pants of her younger brother who has been lying inside a paper carton box since the morning. When the rice is cooked, she quickly puts out the burner to save the little fuel they have and goes to the welfare center 2 km away to get their daily ration of dahl curry and vegetables. After safely putting the rice pot and the bowl of curry on the table, only then the 8 year-old Rasheeni starts to do her homework on the dirt floor.

She is hungry but she has to wait for her mother to come back from work before they can have their dinner. Her mother works in the city as a cleaner and earns just enough wages to keep them barely alive. School was a far away dream until Mr. Santos founded the Welfare center in the village. With the help of a few NGO, Mr. Santos set up a welfare center which provides free food for the poorest families. He also started a small school for the children with the help of some volunteer teachers from overseas.

Rasheeni likes school and she is especially fond of a young teacher from Holland, Miss Ruel.

“I want to be a teacher like you when I grow up” she told Ruel many times. Ruel would give her a pat on the head and smile.

“I m sure you will, Rasheeni. I m sure.”

Her mother comes home and tells her that her grandfather will be visiting them next week and he will take Rasheeni back to his village.

They eat quietly but Rasheeni is nervous. She senses something in her mother’s voice.

“Mother, when will I come back here?”

Her mother looks away and says slowly, “you will stay there for a long time.”

“what about school? I want to continue to go to school.”

“Rasheeni. Grandpa has found a husband for you. You don’t need to go to school anymore. Your husband works in India and his family has many buffalos and big rice field. You will not be hungry.”

Rasheeni keeps quiet. She doesn’t quite understand what her mother has told her. She knows that a girl has to be married and obey her husband.

“if having a husband is good, why did father leave us?” she once asked her mother but her mother just wept and walked away.

Ruel notices Rasheeni is different today. She is usually the one who is beaming to ask questions and likes to raise her hand to answer questions. Today, she is very quiet and doesn’t say anything in class. Her big eyes look dim.

“Rasheeni. Are you alright?” Ruel asks the 8 year-old Rasheeni after class.

“I will stop school next week because I will be married in my grandfather’s village.”

“But you are just 8 years old. My god. How can they do that to you?”

Rasheeni looks up with her glassy eyes and says “Miss Ruel. I don’t want to marry. I want to come to school and be a teacher like you one day.”

Ruel hugs her and promises to help.

Inside his office at the welfare center, Mr. Santos takes a sip of his tea and looks at Ruel.

“Miss Ruel. Such things happen almost every day here in this part of the world. Child marriage is very common.”

“But she is just 8 years old. For god sake. Can’t we do anything to help her?”

“Legally, we can’t do anything. But that’s not what I fear most for little Rasheeni.”

“What can be worse than that?”

“It’s also very common for poor families to sell their young daughters to brothels in India. Many men believe having sex with young virgins can cure their illnesses such as AIDS and TB. Young girls are especially in high demand in the coming festive month”

“WHAT!” Ruel cups her hand over her mouth in disbelief. It’s beyond her comprehension such cruelty even exists.

Mr. Santos shakes his head and sighs. Throughout the years, he had seen one too many worse cases.

A girl in remote Gujerat was sold for 3 times by her own parents. Every time she was rescued by the police and brought back to her parent, only to be sold again. Sometimes when he closes his eyes, that image of the tortured young girl he found locked in the back room of the brothel would come to him. The blank face with total hopelessness in the eyes. The lash marks on her young, skinny naked body.

“Ruel, sometimes I wish I could help them all but the reality is we can only do so much. I understand how it feels” Santos says sadly.

Ruel doesn’t give up. She goes to the police, the district officer and even the Dutch high commission in Kathmandu for help.

“There’s nothing we can do. We don’t have enough man power to help.” The inspector tells her.

“Her mother has legal right to decide for her daughter.” The district officer says.

“We have to respect the local culture and not to interfere in local affairs.” The Dutch high commissioner’s secretary says to her in perfect manner.

After she goes back the next week, Ruel finds only 7 pupils are left in her class of 10. Rasheeni and 2 other young girls are missing from her class forever.

On instinct & behaviors

2011-03-27T19:18:00.010+11:00

In general, human behaviors are divided into 2 broad groups, i.e. “natural” and “Un-natural”. Before you raise your hand, allow me to summarise.

“Natural” behaviors refer to all instinctive actions (or in-actions) that satisfy natural requirements of a living being, regardless of whether he/she comes from civilized and uncivilized background.

As the logic goes, “Un-natural” behaviors refer to the opposite of “Natural” behaviors.

To illustrate, behaviors of other non-human, soulless, dumb living beings are also presented as comparison to show the superiority of the chosen, intelligent, special human species.

“Natural” behaviors can be further sub-divided as follows, in order of priority.

1. Individual survivor

- Animals: eat, sleep, run from danger, hide from the elements, hunt, rob from the weaker ones etc.

- Human: eat, sleep, run from danger, hide from the elements, hunt, rob from the weaker ones, selfish, back stabbing, lie, cheat etc.

Every action has 1 single purpose in mind, to instinctively stay alive.

2. 2. Propagation of own genes
.

- Animals: courtship, love dance (birds, some fish, some insects), display of strength/beauty (peacocks, moose etc), gifts (dung beetles, chimpanzees etc) mate, maternal care, occasional paternal care (Penguins, hornbills, sea horses etc), defending offsprings, fight for mating rights, guard harem of females (lions, elephant seals, zebras etc), kill off-springs sired by other males/females (lions, bears etc), exclusive breeding rights of alpha pairs (wolves, African wild dogs, merkats etc)

- Human: courtship, date, makeup, perfume, sport cars, diamonds, mate, maternal care, romance, marriage, winner gets the princess, polygamy, criminalized adultery, virgin wife, jealousy, possessiveness, demand for faithful partner etc.

Every action has the purpose of increasing the chance of passing on ones’ (male/female) genes to the next generation.

3. 3. Survival of the species.

- Animals: live in pack (wolves), reluctant to harm babies (of same species), pack hunting (lions), collective care for babies in the pack (hyenas), pecking order (chicken and some birds), social hierarchy (alpha pair in wolves, dominant silverback gorillas etc), dispose of the old and injured from pack, chase away grown up males/females to reduce chances of incest (avoid in-breeding), rarely cannibalise, expand/defend territory, killing competitors (lions and hyenas killing each other whenever there is an opportunity) etc.

- Human: families, villages, countries, family names, reluctant to harm babies (of same race, civilised killing uncivilised is generally ok), matriarch society, caste system, organized religions, Gods, governments, kings and novelties, saints and noble men, mercy killings, criminalized incest, dislike cannibalism, wars, slavery, banning homosexuality, genocides, create rules and laws, moral, honour to serve in war, encourage virtues (honesty, faithfulness to country, subordination etc) while punish sins (liars, thieves, disobedient, question Gods etc)

Every action is aimed at multiplying ones’ species (race, group, country etc), preserving order and reducing competitions from other species (race, group, country etc)

Natural behaviors are in order of priority, individual survival being the most important and hence of highest priority. E.g. in a war or disaster, a human will usually save himself first, then his offsprings. Defending the county will be on lower priority

“Un-natural” behaviors are those that don’t contribute to the above actions/inactions.

1. 1. Anti survival of individual or species.

- Animals: extremely rare to none. only observed on some intelligent species such as elephant, dolphins and primates. dolphins had been spotted many times fending off sharks from injured members, even human divers were reported saved by dolphins.

- Human: care for aged parents; defend unrelated sick, disabled people, sacrifice ones’ life for the benefits of other unrelated people, compassion towards other non-human species.

2. Non survival related behaviors

- Animals: extremely rare to none. only observed on some intelligent species such as elephant, dolphins and primates. Dolphins and bonobos are the 2 known species , besides human, that have non reproductive sex. (http://songweaver.com/info/bonobos.html; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_sexual_behaviour)

- Human: music, arts, literature, sports, individual spirituality, sex for pleasure etc.

Above behaviors are considered as going beyond the realm of survival of either individual or species. Nevertheless, they are not in the mainstream of human behaviors which are cherished by the masses.

By far, three of most popular and cherished elements of human life are: Food, romance and organized religions.

So, can you go beyond instinct and survival?

Kupu-kupu malam

2011-03-17T03:32:00.000+11:00

Everyone has his/her story and reasons to do or not to do something. Having dreams and desires is a right, not privilege. Approval and judgment from others are not required.

This short story is for the working girls in Jakarta and around the world. I may not agree with what you’re doing, I respect your rights.

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Traffic in Jakarta city is moving slowly on Friday night. Most of the left lane is occupied by street hawkers and small buses. It is the familiar scene to Ade who is staring blankly out from the Bluebird taxi. Her mind is somewhere else, in a place where she lies on green field surrounded by white, snow capped mountains. A place where the clear blue sky is decorated with pure white clouds.

She was born in a small town on the Island of Sulawesi and moved to the capital with a dream. In the first 2 years, she worked hard at a hair salon and tried hard to save as much money as she could. Then, a friend made her realize that in order to have more money, she had to make more and not just by saving them.

Her friends initiated her into a world unknown to a timid country girl, a world where she could receive 2 weeks’ worth of her salary at the salon in a few hours, a world where she didn’t need qualifications to compete, and a world where she just needed to smile and get really close with strangers.

In a few months time, she had learnt to speak comparatively good English and started to frequent some of the pubs and lounges at 5-star hotels where she could meet foreigners with fat wallet. Life was easy. She quit her day job at the hair salon, moved to a better kos (hostel) and still had enough money to buy new clothes and shoes.

"I don’t entertain everyone but the ones who I like." She always told herself this, as if to convince and justify her own action. Behind her back, people called her “kupu-kupu malam” (night butterfly). In a city where everyone was struggling to make do amid the ever increasing standard of living, having money was all that counted. She was convinced.

Ade’s world changed after she met Patrick at the CJs pub in Mulia Hotel. He was young, good looking and well mannered. Unlike the other bule (white skinned foreigners), he showed respect for her and didn’t feel her up in public. They were sitting at the noisy pub and were talking for almost 2 hours before going back to his apartment.

He called her the next day and soon she was living with him for the next few weeks. That was the happiest time in Ade’s 25 years of live. She would wait for him to come back from work and went out for dinner together. He told her stories of his trips to many parts of the world, places where she hadn’t heard of. He gave her a poster of splendid snow capped mountains under clear blue sky, which Ade found so beautiful and peaceful.

"Himalaya mountains. They’re the tallest mountains in the world" Patrick told her.

She kept it and wished she could visit the place one day.

One day, Patrick came home and told her he was going back to Australia the next day. Ade cried and he promised to come back for her in a few weeks time. They made passionate love whole night as if it was the last.

Just like that, Patrick disappeared from her life and she never heard from him since. She was sad for a few weeks and when her money ran out, she went back to her former life.

“You just need to switch back, just like flicking a light switch. Life goes on, honey” Her good friend Tias used to advise her.

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Ade gets off the taxi at the Le Meridian Hotel and heads directly to the famous “Tiga Puluh Pub”. Some of her friends have arrived earlier and are mingling in the Friday night crowd.

She scans the floor and makes a mental note on the potential clients. As usual, she filters those she doesn’t like at first sight. After that, she smiles and walks straight to the bar where she knows most of the clients will go to get their drinks. By experience, she understands this is a game of waiting and a balance of supply and demand.

She orders an orange juice and kept her distance from those girls dressed up in tight tops and short skirts. In contrary, she dresses up discreetly in white t-shirt and tight jeans, which make she stand out amid the other overly exposed girls.

A middle age white man of average build smiles at her and she smiles back. He walks over and says “Hello, what’s your name?” she smiles again and says “I m Linda, where are you from?”

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Ade gets up from her bed and sits down at the small table. She pushes away the kettle and some old magazines to make room for her daily letter writing.

“Dear Patick,

It rained heavily last night and Jakarta traffic was very bad as on every raining Friday night. I had a wonderful dream. We were drinking tea in a small hotel built in the middle of a green field. The white mountains were very close and we could see them from the hotel. The hotel owner was singing while he was making pan cakes for us. Everyone in the hotel was smiling and happy. The air was cool and fresh, just the same like it was at the Puncak tea plantation we visited together.

Sometimes, I wished we had made more outings together when you were in Jakarta. But that’s OK, I know you will remember me and come back to take me to visit your home in Australia. I long to see the green grass and white sheep you had told me so many times.

Love

Ade.”

She folds the letter carefully, puts it inside a light blue envelope and writes the date on it before sealing it. Slowly, with deliberate movements, she unlocks a small metal box and puts the letter on top of a pile that sits in the box. A poster of white snow capped mountains in wooden frame hangs above her bed.

After her shower, Ade sits down to make up and gets ready for her Saturday night.

On the streets, peddlers knock on car windows trying to sell bottled water and cigarettes. Beyond their blank and tired faces, they are probably thinking about dinner and school fees for their children.

In Jakarta, life goes on.

Farewell

2011-01-02T01:23:00.000+11:00

Farewell…

To one of the few true honest men I have known.

To a man who had lived his whole life through honest means.

To a truly non violent man who had no enemies.

To a man who had nothing his whole life except his intelligence.

To a man who faced rough times with soft smiles.

To a man who always had a kind and friendly face.

To a man who had never asked for anything from anything

To a man who had given so much to others

To a man who had endured pain without complaints.

Thanks for the Santa Claus doll you gave me 35 years ago.

Farewell uncle, a truly honest man.

May peace be upon you.

On Abandoned babies

2010-09-04T02:13:00.001+10:00

Recently, there have some hu-ha on abandoned babies found in rubbish dumps or places where you wouldn’t expect to find a baby.

On this subject, there are 3 main opinions which I summarized:
1. Abandoned babies happened due to declining moral value in the society.
2. This decline in moral is most likely because of the lack of good religious knowledge.
3. Harsh punishments are required to deter this from recurring.
4. We must educate our youngsters with the right values to prevent this.

I have to say I agree 101% with all these opinions.

1. Yes. It is really immoral specifically of the parents, generally of the good society to reject a pregnant teenager and her unborn baby. What has this world become of? As far as I know, our good Iban society in Sarawak hasn’t faced abandoned babies problem for centuries. Why? They accept the mother and baby without a frown. The same goes to the good Eskimo people and some African tribes who we usually labeled as “less civilized”. Well, who is more civilized in terms of compassion?

2. Yes. The bad influence must have stemmed from lack of good religious values. The Holy Scriptures promote unconditional love and asks us to have compassion for all human being and even animals. “Love your enemies”. Every week, these same people bow and pray to the Mighty Creator and vow to uphold HIS teaching. Yet, they rejected their own teenage daughter and abandoned them at times when they needed their parents most.

3. Yes. Harsh punishments are required to cap all this immoral activities. Find those fuckers (literally speaking) and punish them for impregnating underage girls. Did I hear you said “CASTRATION”?

4. Yes. Give them good sex education. Let them know how a baby is made. More importantly, teach them how not to make a baby. Equip them with the necessary knowledge to face the real and cruel world out there, especially those who cloaked under a robe and carry a holy book wherever they go.

Now consider this case: she was probably 15 years old and was engaged to a nice young man. Before they got married, she was found pregnant and the father of the child was not known.

What should us the moral defender do to her to show it as an example to the rest of the teenage girls?

Her fiancé would have abandoned her as well as her parents, and the baby would most likely be found in a rubbish dump. She would be charged for immoral activity and baby dumping. The baby would probably not survive.

There's a tiny problem here: Her name was Mary and she named her baby Jesus.

Now, do you see my point, dear Moral Upholders?

DID U HEAR OUR CRIES?

2010-07-08T01:35:00.004+10:00

when I was still very young, i was separated from my mother.
They wrapped a rubber band around my testicles for them to drop.
my meat would be tenderer, they said.
It hurt so much.
Did u hear my cries?

When I grow older, they sent me to a feedlot.
The place was so small I touched my neighbors whenever i turned.
Not a shred of green grass but starchy grain mix.
My meat would have more fat and taste better, they said.
It hurt my stomach.
Did u hear my cries?

When the time came, my food and water were cut off.
They loaded me onto a truck and drove to my destiny.
I would suffer less with empty stomach, they said.
It hurt, my friend.
Did u hear my cries?

When I was inside, I could feel fear and pain all around me.
They came with a bolt gun and shot me between the eyes.
I would feel no pain when my throat was cut, they said.
It hurt, it hurt so much.
Did you hear my cries?

CAN YOU HEAR OUR CRIES?

Danum Valley Conservation Area

2010-02-09T18:16:00.012+11:00

I learnt about Danum Valley Conservation Area (DVCA) 2 years ago and finally had the opportunity to visit this amazing primary tropical rain forest in July this year.

Brief History

DVCA is among the few unlogged primary forests left in Malaysia. Some of the other famous forest conservations include Maliau Basin Conservation Area (MBCA, Sabah), Taman Negara (Pahang) and Belum National Park (Perak).
DVCA is about 438 square km in area and it is surrounded by a huge logging concession area (10,000 square km or more than 20 times DVCA) awarded to Yayasan Sabah.

The first documented exploration into Danum Valley was in 1887 by a team lead by R.D. Beeston in search for gold.

DVCA was officially opened in 1986 by the then Chief Minister of Sabah, Joseph Pairin. It was further upgraded to Class I Protected Forest Reserve, which means no logging license can be legally issued to log this area.

Currently, the main sponsors of DVCA are Yayasan Sabah and the U.K Royal Society; and it’s managed by a committee consists of Government officers and universities.

The location of DVCA within the Yayasan Sabah logging concession area is shown in the picture in the left. Imagine the irreplaceable old growth forest that had been logged, being logged and to be logged from this vast concession area.

Getting there
The only way to get to DVCA is to go through Lahad Dato (Sabah). There is a transport service between the office in Lahad Dato and the field center in DVCA every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. The transport departs from DVCA around 10:00am and leaves the office (Lahad Dato) around 3:00pm. The journey takes about 2 hours of bumpy ride on mainly trail road cleared for logging activities. Should we thank the logging companies for building the road?

Facilities
There are only two places where visitors can stay in Danum Valley. For budget travelers (myself included), the Danum Valley Field Centre (DVFC) provides excellent accommodation at very reasonable and affordable rates.

Danum Valley Rainforest Lodge is for those looking for luxurious accommodation and 5-star services. Since luxury wasn’t on my itinerary, I went to DVFC and left some room for those who wanted the experience of having their nails polished deep inside a tropical rain forest.

At DVFC there are 2 huge dormitories, male and female, for budget travelers and unsponsored researchers. The male dormitory can easily house more than 80 people. However, the bathroom is rather small and do expect a long queue if the dorm is fully occupied.

There are also a few private rooms for sponsored researchers and travelers who are willing to pay a bit more for privacy and the comfort of AC and individual bathroom.

3 meals and afternoon tea are included and is served at the canteen, which is located about 1 km away from the dorms. There is also a mini market that sells essential items such as batteries, leech socks, biscuits, soft drinks etc. The lab and computer center are off limits to the visitors. The research assistants and staff live in the linked houses provided to them.

A small but complete weather station was commissioned a few years ago and it is recording valuable daily weather data for research purposes.

Attractions
The whole of DVFC is surrounded by thick vegetation that is mainly made up of Dipterocarp forest. “Dipterocarp” literally means “2-winged fruits”.

For most visitors, the main attraction is wildlife watching and there are plenty of them in DVCA. Wild orangutans are frequent visitors to the field centre during fruiting season in the surrounding forest. I was fortunate enough to see three of them feeding in the trees just behind the canteen. They stayed there for a few days.

Wild orangutan seen in the field centre

Occasionally, gibbons (Siamang in local language) can be seen swinging gracefully in the trees around the field centre. Their loud vocalization can be heard early in the morning.

Wild gibbon seen in the forest

If you visit DVCA at the right time of the year, you may be lucky enough to see families of pigmy elephants. According to the research assistants at the field centre, the elephants move between the forests in Sabah in fixed time cycles. Unfortunately, many of the forests in their path have been cleared and turned into oil palm plantations where unwanted conflicts occur. There are many theories with regards to their origin. The widely acceptable one is their ancestors were the now extinct Java elephants imported by the then Sulu Sultan a few hundred years ago. However, recent DNA studies reviewed they are an entirely new sub-species. We shall leave this to the experts. I was lucky enough to find - their dried dung pads in the forest.

Dried dung pad left by pigmy elephants

Besides orangutans and gibbons, a bearded wild pig and a group of deer are the “residents” of the field centre. The pig was seen in the day searching for food in the compound of the field centre while the deer came out at night.

The “resident” bearded wild pig

The elusive and rare Sumatera rhino is believed to still roam the forest within DVCA, but nobody has even seen one except for their dried dung since many years ago.
The other less elusive wildlife is the Red Leaf Monkeys, civet cats (musang in local language), bats and many hornbills and birds. The Nocturnal Tarsier is another elusive primate that only an experienced ranger can find in the dark.

No visitors can escape the intimate yet “bloody” encounters with the leeches in DVCA. They move swiftly and latch on any warm body effortlessly. I learnt through hard experience that once they latched on, don’t pull or burn them off unless you want a bleeding wound that attracts more of them. The wound will also remain itchy for months. The best way is to use some salt on them to make them release willingly, or just let them be if you are a generous blood donor.

Bloody blood sucker

There are a few beautiful water falls in DVCA and accessible from the field centre if you are prepared to walk for a few hours. The furthest one is Purut falls which takes about 8 hours for a return trip. Tembaling falls requires about half the time and the track is relatively easier. In fact, the field centre gets its water supply from here.

sign board showing the trails

After a tiring walk through the humid jungle, a dip in the fresh, cold water refreshes better than a pint of icy cold beer. Besides, beer doesn’t wash away the sweat and the smell.

A few short trails are also available around the field centre for the less adventurous visitors. There are also a few observation towers along these short trails which serve as an excellent bird watching platforms. Even you are not into feathered creatures, spending half an afternoon alone up on one of these platforms in the quiet jungle calms down messy minds embattled by office politics or nagging spouse.

A night drive on a 4WD on the bumpy road is the closest thing to night safari in a tropical rain forest and the quickest way to spot some nocturnal creatures. However, don’t go on a night when storm or rain is expected. That was another hard lesson for me. Not a single animal was spotted for 2 hours no matter how hard our experienced ranger was trying with his powerful flash light. I guess the animals could smell the looming storm and were all in hiding that night, in which more than 30mm of down pour was recorded.

Another not to be missed sight is the sun rise on an observation tower located on a small hill about 1 hour drive from the field centre. Under the early morning light, the forest submerged in mist seems mystical and yet heavenly peaceful and calm. It’s better than the best scenes in “Lord of the rings”. You just have to see and experience it.

Sun rise in Danum

Jungle in the mist

During my 5 days stay at the field centre, I slept soundly every night, something I rarely enjoy at home in PJ where the traffic never stops.
Danum Valley is indeed a well managed forest reserve and makes a great show case for rain forest conservation. As long as we have those people in power who thinks that trees are more valuable dead than alive, the destruction of our priceless natural heritage is unavoidable. The current efforts in conservation are, at best, delaying it to happen. And that, my fellow earthlings, is a very sad reality to learn.

In Search for Shangrila

2010-01-27T13:42:00.007+11:00

According to the legend, Shangrila is a hidden paradise on earth where her people are free from aging, sickness and suffering.

Coincidently, there are similar versions of Shangrila in many different civilizations. For example, the Tibetans call it “Shamala”, the Chinese had story about 桃花源, it’s Eden for the Middle Eastern folks. Peter Pan’s Neverland is another good example of how human long for a peaceful, suffering free and ever lasting place to live at.

There have been a lot of writings and even researches on Shangrila. Most of them focused on the possible locations of this mystical, even magical paradise on earth.

In summary, Shangrila must be located at a place where the geology, hydrology and climate are at their optimal balance. The soil, nourished by flowing clean rivers, is fertile and well structured. The climate is moderate for agriculture and yet cools enough to suppress most harmful pathogen activities. This will guarantee sufficient supply of good quality food all year round and very few diseases.

However, there is a more important factor than the physical aspects of the place – the social-cultural aspect of her population. Dump a bunch of fascist bigots there and Shangrila no more.

In my humble opinion, there are several essential social-cultural aspects that people in Shangrila believe and most importantly practice to make her Shangrila and not Pol Pot’s Cambodia.

The first and foremost important is – NO organized religions exist in Shangrila. There were more human lives lost in holy wars and other religious conflicts than all the other wars combined. Besides, millions were tortured, agonized and discriminated by the same great organized religions that preached universal love and eternal compassion. In addition, organized religions bring with them their holy men, messengers, preachers and whatnot. They do best at regulating everyone’s daily life and limiting creativities with big jargons like “eternal Hell fire”, “Divine Punishment”, “Holy retribution” by the All loving, all forgiving Holy Creator.
So, organized religions are definitely a no-no if Shangrila is to stay as Shangrila.

Contrary to what most people may want to argue, spirituality would actually flourish in absence of organized religions which makes monoculture mandatory. It becomes a boundless personal pursuance without the fear of witch hunting.

The second is real, practiced equality in her society. This means full sexual equality that frees half of the population from all forms discriminations and restrictions. The women are empowered to contribute as much as the men. This also means all forms of slavery and bondages don’t exist in Shangrila.

Shangrila’s people must also have advancements in science and at the same time appreciation for art, literatures and music. One of the most important benefits from science is birth control, which effectively frees the female population from the burden of repeated cycles of pregnancy, nursing and bringing up children. This enables them to have time for other activities and enjoy life on different levels. Before you jump up and invoke divine curse on me, I have to elaborate more on this. By no means, I m not implying that reproduction and caring for next generation is a bad thing. Without birth control and real sexual equality, female population would be reduced to organic baby producing devices.

Take a tour to the slums in Mumbai or Dhaka and look at the skinny, exhausted and broken young women who have a dozen or more children. Birth control and sexual equality are both prohibited, well, by the all encompassing, universal organized religions which they’re born into.

Medical treatments, transportation are some of the other benefits of scientific advancement, just to name a few.

There must be distinctive differences in Shangrila’s culture compared to what we have today. Difference and uniqueness are respected and accepted rather than “tolerated”. Social justice must be an essence in their society. The most important factors to incubate these unique cultural features is abundant food and water supplies as well as absence of life threatening elements such as invaders, catastrophic disasters and fatal pandemic; or annoying people such as preachers of universal love who call you brother/sister only after you join them.

What about those wonderful human natural instincts such as violence, greed, anger, ignorance, jealousy etc, you may wonder. We can see the full manifestations of these amazing values in our past and present great achievers the likes of Hitler, Mao, Pol Pot, Osama, Mugabe etc.
I would like to propose that in a small and close society where everyone is treated equally and with abundant of food and safe shelter, these human natures don’t manifest into physical behaviors that affect the others, or at least the impacts are minimal.
For example, you may like the new boat that your neighbour just built. In the small neighborhood where everyone knows everybody, you can’t steal it and claim it yours. Since you have a small family and food is abundant, you have all the time in this world to build yourself a better boat.

If after you have read this and say to yourself, “this ain’t too hard.” You may already have a plan to get a few close friends, buy a piece of land remote from the corrupted world and start your own Shangrila under your lead.
That may not be a bad idea. Many had tried it before with mixed results. We call them collectively as CULTS.

Happily ever after

2010-01-13T02:55:00.008+11:00

This is based on a real story. Well, as usual, only the fictional parts are fictional. Don’t we all get confused sometimes. :-)

______________________________________________________

It was a warm and lazy Sunday afternoon. The tropical sun was mercilessly scorching the workers who were laying the asphalt on the road. Inside Angie’s room, the air conditioner was at full blast. Her two good friends were there too, and they were chatting excitedly.

“I m so happy for you, Angie. Finally, the biggest day of your life has come. Have you decided which studio to take the photos?” Lin asked.
"No. Not yet. Ming has been busy lately with his project. It’s closing phase now.” Angie answered.
“That can’t be more important than your wedding, can it?” Michelle joined in.
“He’s under immense pressure from his manager and I don’t want to trouble him now.”

“What about the wedding reception? Have you completed the guest list?”
“I’m working on that now. Ming wants to make it simple and spend less on the wedding dinner. We want to save some money for our honey moon.” Angie said.
“What excuse is that? This is the least a man can do for to make his wife and family proud.” Lin said.
“Yeah. There are a lot of things you need to do, Angie. For example, choose the color of the ribbons, your new bed sheet, curtains, find the shoes that match your wedding gown, etc etc etc. your have to make sure you look stunning on your big day.” Michelle was married to a wealthy business man last year and was speaking from her experience.
“Oh. There are a lot of things. I didn’t think about those.” Angie felt a bit uneasy.

“By the way, have you bought some new underwear for the wedding?” Michelle asked.
“Why do I need new underwear? I’m not showing them like supergirl does.” They all laughed.
“Of course you need new underwear. You can’t possibly be wearing some old ones under the beautiful dress. Everything has to be perfect, girl. That’s your biggest day. It’s your wedding.”
“I never thought getting married can be so hectic.” Angie answered with a sigh.

“No worries. There is a sales starting today at the Mega Mall. We can choose some sexy lingerie for you. You shall be the princess of the day.” Lin suggested.
“Yeah, Ming will crawl on his knees just to kiss your toes.” They laughed and got ready to go shopping.
________________________________________________________

Ming was trying hard to complete the report on his computer but his mind was blank. He realised he was just staring at the computer screen without typing a single key for the last 10 minutes. Giving out a long sigh, he knew he needed a break. Without thinking much, he dialed his good buddy’s number and asked him to go for coffee.
_________________________________________________________

Angie and her friends were moving at snail pace on the main road due to a massive traffic jam. Michelle was getting restless and she kept changing the radio channel.

“What the hell is going on? This is really unusual for a Sunday afternoon.” Michelle was obviously upset.
“Ming just called. There is a demonstration in the city. That’s the reason of the slow traffic.” Angie explained.
“What’s it about?”
“I think he said it’s the protest against the violations of human right in Sri Lanka by the military towards the Tamils.”
“Where is Sri Lanka? Why do we care?” Lin joined in.
“I think it’s somewhere in Africa. You know, they always fight there. Poor countries have nothing else better to do.” Michelle said.
“Whatever. We better hurry up. I don’t wanna miss this week ‘Gossips’ on TV. I wonder if Tom Cruise is really having a divorce.” Lin said.
“We are not getting anywhere in this traffic, girls.” Angie said with a sigh.

___________________________________________________

Meanwhile, at the café, Ming and Johnny were happily sipping ice coffee and getting updates from each other.

“So. What made you decide to bite the bullet and tie the knots?” Johnny asked jokingly.
“Well, I’m tired of the dating days. I guess it’s about time to settle down and have some good family life. We have been dating for 3 yeas now. It’s my responsible to marry her. That’s the right thing to do, I guess.”
“Good on you, old man.”

“Save some money on telephone bill too.” Ming answered jokingly.
“Not a bad plan. Cut back on dating and focus your energy on more important things.”

“The big boss from US came to the office last week and announced re-structuring plan” Ming started in a more serious voice.
“Oh no. Are you affected in any way?”
“I escaped narrowly this time. Had I not been close to my country manager, it would be me instead of that guy, Albert, from the technical team. Now, I have to double up to cover his jobs too. Things are not going well.”
“Take it easy, man.”

“Johnny, I can’t take it easy. There are so many things I need to take care of. The wedding is driving me mad. Everything costs money, I mean lots of it. The reception, the dowry for Angie’s family, the wedding dresses and photos, the honey moon and the list goes on. I haven’t even paid up the credit card bills for the last 2 months”
“Don’t forget the new furniture.” Johnny said.
“Yea man. If I lose my job now, I will be well done.”

“Have you talked to Angie about these troubles?” Johnny asked with a more concerned tone.
“I can’t. I don’t want to let her know that I m weak and vulnerable. You know, she always thinks that I m the strong person who can support and provide for her. I want to give her good life after we are married”
“You better watch your back then, iron man.”

“To compound the problem, Angie has a very demanding mother. The last few months had been, to put it in management term, very challenging. To top it up, this is just the wedding, the beginning of our marriage.” Ming said in a rather sarcastic voice.
“Well, a lot of people mistaken wedding as marriage. Wedding is the most important moment, if you care to ask any of your lady friends.” Johnny replied jokingly.

After a brief silence, Ming tried to change the subject.
“So, what about you? Have you found anyone when you were overseas?”
“No. You know me, Ming. I like to roam freely. Moreover, I don’t always do the right thing at the right time.”

“Face it. Miss M is not coming back. Get over and move on.”
Johnny took a sip of the ice coffee and answered softly.
“It’s not all about her, my friend.”
“Ok. Tell me what you have been doing all these years.”
“I’ve been traveling in Indochina and doing volunteer work since I left my previous company. It’s really fulfilling to know that my work has made life better for others.”
“In two years, I’ve seen and learnt so much. I think I’m the one actually benefiting. You’d never imagine what some MNC from rich countries are doing to reap profit from the poor people.”
“Well, I’m all ears. Tell me all about it.” Ming said excitedly.
_____________________________________________________________

Back home, Ming had worked on the report for another 4 hours until he was too sleepy to open his eyes. He decided to go to bed early and wake up early tomorrow to finish the last part on executive summary. Just then, the phone rang and it was Angie.

“Hey. I have bought some lingerie at Mega Mall. Guess what color?”
“I have no idea. As long as you like them.”
“What color do you think we should choose for our new curtain? I like the one with Tweetie Bird on it.”
“That should be fine, dear”

“Have you done the short-list of restaurants that I told you to do last week?”
“Sorry. I haven’t got the time to look at that yet.”

“What? You always have time for your work and your friends but not our wedding. I m still not your first priority even our wedding is in 2 months time. Can you please put in a little more effort in our wedding?” Angie raised her voice a few decibel.
“It’s not that, dear. You know I love you and m looking forward to our marriage. I can’t wait to get into our married life.”

“You know Michelle’s husband took care of everything for their wedding. He also accompanied her to choose her outfit and booked a boat for their wedding photo shooting. Now, I can’t even get you to shortlist a few restaurants? What about the guess list that I have to do on my own? You just don’t have the heart for me. Mother was right about you.” Angie started sobbing on the other end of the line.

Ming let out a long sigh, silently. He knew his plan to wake up early to finish off the report was blown and he would have a lot to explain to his manager.

Irresistible women

2009-12-25T16:59:00.007+11:00

There have been some female friends of mine who complained about not getting their partners’ attention or the TLC they were entitled to. Well…
Not that I am an expert in understanding women, in my humble opinion, there are several unique characteristics that make women irresistible male magnets, as far as long term attraction is concerned.

The first is Independence. She has her own life to live and maintain her lifestyle by choice. It may not be a lavish or in layman term “high maintenance” type of lifestyle. She doesn’t depend on someone to provide her happiness; instead she derives it from her own hobbies and interests. Hence, her world doesn’t revolve around anyone, particularly her partner. She has her own time table and arrangements and follows her own pace.
In contrast, women who play “up to you” and “whatever” games are the ones who annoy everyone around them, including themselves. They usually blame everyone but themselves for not providing happiness. The highest level is to play the “guilt” game which goes like: “you are my husband (boyfriend). Is it not your responsibility to make me happy?” or “You are my husband (boyfriend). Don’t you know what I like?”

DOH! Wouldn’t you wish you had dated a PS3 instead.

Self respect is probably the next one on the list. She who has self respect respects others. This includes his privacy, his personal space and his family and friends, In return, she gets the same from her partner.
On the other hand, women who haven’t enough self respect tend to be more possessive. “I am his wife (girlfriend), I have the RIGHT to know everything about him”. Hence, checking his SMS, hacking his email, demanding hourly updates on his night out, controlling his expenses even stalking happen naturally. Thanks to modern Information Technologies, now she can even stalk you on facebook. Who’s that bitch you added yesterday? why didn’t you upload our pictures? Yada yada yada…
Even if you are not half the speed of Bolt, dash; if you still want your sanity and self respect intact.

Confidence, the twin sister of self respect, is the next irresistible charm of a woman. This is manifested in how she speaks, how she dresses up, how she interacts and socializes. A confident woman doesn’t fish for compliments and talk bad of others to “uplift” herself. She knows herself and seldom intimidated by younger or prettier or richer women. More importantly, she doesn’t interrogate her partner to find out about his ex.

A lot of people confused confidence with “cockiness”. The most distinctive difference is self respect as explained before. Women who play hard-to-get or just plain cocky lack self respects and respects for others, as well as the right eye contacts and usually pleasant smiles. That’s the reason you feel comfortable and relaxed talking to a confident woman.

The opposite is insecure women who are products of little self confidence. They would do the opposite of a confident woman: Crave for attentions, fish for compliments, jealous frequently, over dressed, overly sensitive. They all have one common interest – to find out everything about their partners’ ex and everything about their ex after a breakup.

In a nutshell, women with self respect and confidence live in the present and look forward for the future, whereas lacking of them makes women live in the past and hard to move forward.

The next one is sense of humor. Generally, people with sense of humor are more pleasant and take things easily. This is not to be confused with lack of seriousness. Sense of humor enables us to laugh at ourselves move on in the face of failure. It’s also the ice-breaker in social interaction and the lubricant to reduce a looming conflict. Relationship lacking sense of humor would make it dull and, well, very mechanical.

However, if you just after short term attraction from men, wear a tight mini skirt and loosen the top 3 buttons of your shirt. As simple as that.

City of sin

2009-08-21T01:55:00.008+10:00

I got the idea of this story while I was on the train going from Bangkok to Hatyai in January 2009. wrote most of it in the quiet weekend night at Goulburn TAFE residence.

_______________________________________________________

The traffic in the city is still busy even it is already past ten o’clock at night. Where is everyone rushing to go to? Sometimes I wonder. Everybody seems to be going some where and they don’t even have time to look at each other. Their look lost no matter how much money they spent on the cloth pieces that draped around their other wise naked bodies.

The lights in her unit are still on. This means the man is probably still there with her. It doesn’t matter. I can wait. I have the time and patience of the whole world with me. I can sit here all night long without even being noticed by anyone passing by me. I am a part of the features of this big city; just like the furniture in an office, nobody cares to give a first look.

That’s just fine for me. I can come and go un-noticed to perform my obligations in this world. It’s not something pleasant but somebody has to do it. Although we are not supposed to meet, I know there are thousands of us who are performing similar obligations. GOD gave us HIS clear instructions – get their confessions or rid the world of shameful sins.

With GOD’s will, I have already perfected my skill after all these years. I have the tools and skill to perform my obligation efficiently in the shortest possible time. My tools are all in my bag which I have checked before I left home. I m meticulous when it comes to performing my obligations for GOD.
I can still remember how clumsy I was the first time I did it. GOD tests and trials all HIS servants, but HE also guides and shows them through divine means. We just have to read HIS signs with faith.

My precious collection will be my testimony of faith to GOD when HE finally decides to call me back to HIM. Such precious should not be in possession of those who had sinned. They should all go back to GOD when I finally meet HIM. I always keep them safely on me and I had sworn to protect them with my life.

A police woman just walked past me and she didn’t even notice my existence. I blend in perfectly in the city. In fact, I m part of the city. People will be missing something if I m not here one day.

The last light has just been switched off in her apartment. I will get ready for my job.
“Oh Father in Heaven. Praise your name king of the mightiest. Give me strength to perform what you have obligated me.”

Detective Lynda is awaken by the phone at 5am.
“You better come and take a look. There’s another case.”

“When? Where?”
“Body found half an hour ago. The Winners Tower Condominium down town.”

The pale body lays still on the metal platform. Her facial tissues are so tensed up that her eyes and her nose are drawn close to each other. Her mouth stays opened due to the constricted jaw muscles and open wounds are visible on her lips and tongue.

“She looks like she is still screaming” Detective Lynda says to Juan, her assistant.
“She bit herself many time, must be really in pain.”
“You would bloody too!” Replied Lynda angrily and pointed to the body’s hands and feet.
“Yes. I can see that.” Juan answers.

All the nails on the fingers and toes are gone and they are dark brown from the bleeding and bruising.

“They were pulled out one by one with force. I can’t imagine the pain.”
“What the forensic say?”

“She was chloroformed, tied up, nails pulled before the jugular was cut with probably a surgical scalpel. She was left bleeding to death.”

“If I catch this psycho, I’ll personally smash his balls with a hammer.”

All the people who know him call him “gecko”, for his ability to climb and break in. He has a name which he wants to forget. It seems very, very long ago, the days when his mother was still around. She used to call him Jun, the first syllabus of his real name which he tries hard to forget. His childhood was happy but short. It ended when he was eight after his father fell from a construction site 20 storey above ground. Soon after that, he was not a child anymore.

He remembers the frequent visits of some “uncles” at night and the voices from his mother’s room, which forced an eight year old to understand what “adult” meant. He knew his mother had no choice, being a single mother with 2 young children. Every time his mother took another “uncle” into her room, he would hide under his blanket and pray to GOD to give him strength and power to take his family away from all these. The next day, he and his younger sister would get some coins to buy ice cream and they would have chicken for dinner. He hated himself for not strong enough to support his family; and he hated himself more for not being able to resist the good food.

After a good dinner, the cockroaches would come to get their feast at the rubbish bin. Sometimes even some rats would turn up. He would be waiting at the bin with a thick rolled up news paper and whacked the cockroaches as hard as he could. He felt all his shame vindicated when their bodies were crushed with a “splash”, as if they were the men who abused his mother. Occasionally, he was fast enough to hit a running rat which knocked it out and would have some fun time taking care of it later.
He chopped off the tail and threw the rat into an old cooking pot half filled with water. When the water started to boil slowly, the frantic sound of the rat scratching and banging against the metal cover made him feel that he had finally claimed his revenge against the unjust world. When he grew older, he learnt a new trick from a rubbish collector. He chopped off the paws from the captured rat and then soaked it in kerosene, set it on fire before letting it loose. Without the paws, the rat kept falling over when it tried to run away. He would stand and watch until the hair and skin of the rat were all burnt while it was still alive. He then threw the rat into a bucket of hot salt water before finishing it off by crushing the skull under his shoe.

“The squeaking and scratching. Just fucking makes you high”. He used to tell his friends about this.

He never forgets his 13 year old birthday. He went home and found his mother strangled in bed, naked and with her hands and feet tied on the bed poles. The government took his sister away and put her in an orphanage. He ran away and had never used his real name since then.

He is now 20 years old and has been going in and out from juvenile detention and prison for God knows how many times.
“Who gives a shit” He likes to say.
Although he has been on the street for so many years, he has been booked but for petite crimes like snatching, break in, mugging etc. His mates call him “Gecko Chicken” because he has no balls to do real jobs.
“We shall see who really has balls, one day.” He used to say.

He has been eyeing the lady for at least 30 minutes now. She is holding 2 plastic bags full of grocery and a small blue backpack is hanging on her right shoulder. A middle age woman who looks like thousands of average women in this city; and she probably has a very common name too.

“An easy target.” Gecko says to himself.
From experience, he knows her wallet is in the blue backpack, which probably contains one month worth of grocery for her family.

Slowly, he approaches the lady from behind while pretending to be talking on his mobile. When he is behind her, he pushes her hard on the back and grabs her blue backpack. She falls down on her knees but quickly turns and grabs on one of the shoulder straps of the backpack. Without mercy, Gecko kicks her in the ribs and follows with a big strike on her hand that is holding on the strap. To his surprise, she ignores the assaults and uses the free hand to hold on to another strap. Gecko pulls back and she loses balance and falls face down on the ground, but still holding on tightly.
“You bitch!” Gecko shouts and stomps on her wrists with his hard boots. He hears a crack of broken bone.
She lets out a whine in pain and let go. Gecko grabs the backpack and runs to the waiting motorbike. The woman gets up and starts chasing after them on foot. Her face is bleeding from the abrasion and the broken wrist swings when she runs.
“Give it back to me, you thieves” she yells, oblivious to the pain.
His mate speeds off immediately.
“You damned sinners, give me back my …”

“Dang! There’s nothing in this backpack! Nothing.” Gecko’s mate is yelling angrily.
“Only one phone card and 2 boxes of this colorful crap. Looks like some broken seashells or fish scales. Worthless shit.”
“Bad luck. Let’s go to Charley’s place to have some booze. I have something important to do later in the night.” Gecko says to his mate.
“Why do you sometimes disappear at night? Where did you go? You are not screwing some bitches secretly, are you?”
“Mind your own business and shut up. Let’s go OK.”

Gecko opens his eyes slowly and realizes that he can’t move his limbs. To his horror, he finds himself tightly tied to an arm chair and his mouth is also gagged. There is a light shining directly in his face, blinding him.

“Do you know that you have sinned?” suddenly a voice breaks the silence. It is cold and without emotions.
Gecko shakes his head trying to free himself. He tries to speak but the gag is too tight.

“In the name of GOD all mighty, I shall perform my obligation to punish a sinner. I give you one last chance. Are you willing to confess your sins?” says the voice. Gecko can’t see the person who is behind the bright light.
Gecko jerks frantically and wants to scream but muffled by the gag.
“Very well, sinner. You have refused GOD’s offer. I shall perform my duty now.”

Sweats starts to wet his shirt as he realizes what is coming upon him. The clanging metallic parts bring back the old images of the rats to him.

Without warning, he feels a sharp pain on his left thumb, which sends a surge to his brain and his whole body. He jerks violently and screams through the thick muffling gag. Sweat all over his body and he is shaking uncontrollably for the pain is too unbearable.
Before the pain settles, he feels something cold, metallic in his mouth and with a jerk, one of his front teeth is broken off. He screams at the top of his voice but can only manage low, choking sound in the throat. All the muscles in his body constrict and cramp.
He doesn’t know where he is anymore. The pain has put him into a different world.

Inspector Lynda looks at the body and shakes her head.

“This one is by far the worst. Besides his nails on his fingers and toes, all his teeth were broken off one by one. Poor burger, it would have been more than hell for him.” Juan says.

“His nails were pulled before his hands were chopped at the wrist. The purpose was to inflict maximum pain. What sort of devil could have done this?”

“He must’ve angered someone really badly.” Lynda says while pointing to the body’s naked chest.

“THOU SHALL NOT STEAL FROM GOD’S MESSAGER” is crafted into his skin.