Humor All Over

Sablay Pinoy Quotes

2012-07-11T17:16:00.000-07:00

1. You are barking at the wrong dog!
2. The sky is the langit. (tama nga naman).
3. Class get one whole sheet of paper, lengthwise! (di ba pwede crosswise na lang)
4. What's your next class before this? [ANO RAW??!!!]
5. Nothing in this world is perfect except the word "change".
6. Can you repeat that for the second time around once more from the top? [ULITIN NATIN HANGGANG MAMATAY TAYO!]
7. My dad brought home a lot of hand-me-downs! [TRANSLATION: DAMING PASALUBONG NG TATAY KO.]
8. Standard and Chartered Bank
9. I'm very iterated!!! [TRANSLATION: GALIT SYA!!]
10. I'm sorry, my boss just passed away. [KADADAAN LANG NG BOSS NYA.]
11. Don't touch me not!
12. Hello? ... For a while, please hang yourself...
13. It's spilled milk under the bridge.
14. Don't change anything! Keep it at ease.
15. Hello McDo? Mag-iinquire lang ako, kung magkano ang kidney meal?
16. You!!! You're not a boy anymore! You're a man anymore!
17. Out of fit ako these days eh... [TRANSLATION: di nakakapag-exercise]
18. Come, let's join us!
19. When it rains, it's four. [WOW!]
20. Bring down the house down!
21. Hello, my boss is out of town. Would you like to wait?
22. What happened after the erection of Mayon Volcano?
23. Once in a new moon.
24. Please don't make fond of me.
25. The more you hate, the more you laugh. [Ahh... ganun pala yun.]
26. Alma Mother.
27. No holes barred.
28. Keep your mouth shock! [:O]
29. Well, well, well. Look do we have here!
30. It's just the tip of the icing!
31. Connect me if I'm wrong.
32. I hope you don't mine.
33. I wanna portrait that role.
34. Will you please give me alone?!
35. True good to be true.
36. So far, so good, so far. (ang layo!)
37. The more the many-er.
38. Come here, you and you, the both of you two.
39. I couldn't care a damn!
40. Ok guys, form a straight circle.
41. Let's give them a big hand of applause.
42. Annulled and void.
43. Been there, been that!
44. Give him the benefit of the daw.
45. Take things first at a time.
46. First and for all. . .
47. Now and there.
48. I'm only human nature.
49.That's what I'm talking about it!
50. The feeling is actual.

(SOURCE: Elbert Or's book -- see images above)

The Wang and Only aka Bungal Boys duo (funny lipsync master)

2012-07-08T14:45:00.000-07:00

I just recently came across this phenomenon in youtube and I want to help these boys even rise to stardom. The Wang and Only duo or they say "Bungal Boys duo" is just so hilarious!

Nothing on You performed by The Wang and Only duo

The toothless boys who lipsync popular English tunes are gaining more popularity because of video sharing site Youtube and social networking site Facebook. The funny duo only known as "The Wang and Only" has featured in videos and has currently launched a Facebook page. The boys' real names have not been revealed.

Currently, as of this writing, they have 135,104 likes in their Facebook page.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Wang-and-Only/135136209862908

Mga Batang Bading: Impromptu Pageant sa Labasan

2012-07-08T12:55:00.000-07:00

Namiss nyo ba ang mga batang toh? Super sakit tiyan ko sa katatawa dito... LoL

Uploaded by emdangla on Jan 27, 2012 on Youtube.com

The story as per emdangla: "My cousin went to our apartment to have some games installed and have some music, photos and videos transferred to her phone. He left her phone with me. Of course, it couldn't be avoided for me to actually see the photos and videos with it-- pictures and videos of my nieces. They're all still babies, young and cute. And I love them. However, I saw this one video that I thought could be related to my nieces as well. Voila! I found myself amused to these gay kids. They could crack jokes in no time. I believe it's all impromptu. I am amazed how fast they could think and make people entertained. I personally do not know who these kids are. I think they are some neighbors of my cousin(s), or maybe some talented and happy kids who approached my cousin(s) to have them entertained."

Ate Gay's Funny Mash-up Songs - Compilation 2

2012-07-02T03:19:00.001-07:00

Super duper funny Ate Gay's mash-up songs/lyrics compilation part 1.

*(Love Moves in Mysterious Ways)
love moves......can we find a way to finally make it right

*(Just Once)
just once....in mysterious ways

*(Clumsy)
you got me trippin', stumbling.....paskong anong saya

*(Babae Po Ako)
di ako bakla, klaklaklaklakla, di ako siyokla, klaklaklaklaka, nililinlang ka lang ng yung paningin....nagmamahal pa rin sayo giliw. limutin man kitay di ko magawa, hindi pa rin ako magbabago

*(Hawak Kamay)
hawak kamay.......ang laban na to

Thanks to:
The09HARLEM , iistokwa, MsChinkyMo, ymagkaribal, mlyser

Vice Ganda jokes - Quotes Batch 3

2012-07-02T02:58:00.002-07:00

(after kumain sa isang restaurant with friends, sumenyas si vice, nag-sign siya sa waiter gamit ang dalawang kamay para sa bill, yung korteng square na pagkakasign)

waiter: sir, bill po?

vice ganda: ay hindi, magpapapicture. hindi kasi kami nabubusog pag hindi nagpapapicture pagkatapos kumain eh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

vhong: what is a sentence.

vice: a sentence is a word or a group of words that has complete thought.

vhong: wow. eh verb? what is verb?

vice: a verb is an action word.

vhong: how about pang-abay? what is pang-abay?

vice: pang-abay? slacks, barong, kimona, dat's pang-abay!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

=MAG SWISWIMMING SI VICE GANDA=

GUARD- mam maliligo po kayo?

VICE GANDA- ay hindi mag hihilamos lang (nakita mo ng malaki ang pool oh)

VICE GANDA- kuya magkano ?

GUARD- ang entrace po mam?

VICE GANDA- ay hindi ang exit nakita mong papasok pa lang ii

VICE GANDA-walang utak ( kalokah)

GUARD- ako po mam?

VICE GANDA- ay hindi yung pool

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Holdaper: holdap 'to!
Vice ganda: And so? Walang nagtatanong.
Holdaper: holdap nga 'to!
Vice: kaylangan ipagsigawan? Proud ka? Proud?
Holdaper: holdap sabi eh! Holdap nga! Holdap!
Vice: paulit ulet 2x? Akala mo nag-eenjoy? Unli tau te?
Holdaper: pag di ka tumigil papatayin kita!
Vice: weh? Holdap naging patayn? Ano 'to 2 in 1 GANON?
Holdaper: leche! Maka alis na nga!
Vice: ay? walk out? Best actor?

Ate Gay's Funny Mash-up Songs - Compilation 1

2012-06-29T22:21:00.002-07:00

Super duper funny Ate Gay's mash-up songs/lyrics compilation part 1.

Sample (transliterated):

SINGLE LADIES (Beyonce)
All the single ladies.. All the single ladies.. All the single ladies.. All the single .. all the way.. oh what's fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh! Hey!

IF YOU WALK AWAY (David Pomeranz)
If you walk away from me today... tiwala sa isa't isa'y kelangan.. dati mo ng pag-ibig wala akong pakialam.. mamahalin kita kailan pa man..

Thanks to:
The09HARLEM , iistokwa, MsChinkyMo, ymagkaribal, mlyser

Vice Ganda jokes - Quotes Batch 2

2012-06-29T14:04:00.001-07:00

Sa Opisina.
vice: pasok mo nga dito yung mga papeles ko..
assistance: ser saan ko ipapasok , dito sa loob"?
vice: hinde sa labas, ipasok nga diba.pwede bang ipasok sa labas, sige nga subukang mong ipasok doon sa labas

Another Day
Kararating Lang sa Opis..
assistance: hi. good morning po ser nandito na po pala kayo
vice: hinde wala pa, picture ko lang toh, hindi pa ako to

Naospital yung pamangkin, kasi buntis (dinugo)...
pumuntang emergency
vice: nurse tulong!!
nurse: ano pong nangyayari? manganganak?
vice: ay hinde. ipapatira ko pa lang.dinudugo na nga diba. syempre manganganak na

2nd Attempt
vice: bilisan mo na
nurse: ano pong gusto niyo? tawagin ko si dok?
vice: hinde ako na kaya ko na toh!!!,doon na lang kayo, baka nakakaabala pa ako sa inyo!!

3rd Attempt
tagal ng doctor..
vice: yung ulo ng bata lumabas na!!
nurse: (nagtatakbo) ay ano yan ulo ng bata?
vice: hindi ulo ng **** ng bata..bwiset

Patay Tatay:
vice: umiiyak sa harap ng kabao ng tatay
dumating si bestfriend, hinimas-himas yung likod ni vice
bestfiend: uy, okey ka lang?
vice: ikaw hayop ka, patayin ko tatay mo? okey ka lang!!!!
vice: ********* ka tatay ko nasa kabao, tapos tatanungin mo ko kung okey ka lang!!!
vice: okey lang ako, ako pumatay eh..bigtime! success patay na eh.. nasan tatay mo sunod na naten?!!! para okey ka den

Vice papuntang fastfood:
Vice: (Umupo)
Waiter: Gud afternun po! Kakain po kayo?
Vice: Hindi, magluluto, tutulungan ko chef nyo.. Kakahiya naman nakiupo ako dito tapos hindi pa ko tutulong.. Bilis na.. Gusto mo tulungan pa kita sa mga customers nyo.. Tapos aasenso business nyo.. Edi masaya, di ba? Umunlad na kayo, nagutom pa ko.. Ang galing noh?

Vice nakaupo sa park.. Walang nakaupo sa ibang upuan..
Manong: Pwede po bang umupo dito?
Vice: Hindi, tinatalunan yan.. Nakikita mo di ba, ang daming nakaupo.. Mamaya tatalunan ko yan.. Tapos sabay nating gagawin.. Sama na rin natin yung mga dumadaan.. Para mukha tayong mga baliw lahat.. Bilis na, simulan mo na.. Maya-maya lang susunod ako..

Vice Ganda jokes - Quotes Batch 1

2012-06-29T13:58:00.001-07:00

(Nakakita siya ng guwapo, di nakapagpigil)
Vice: Hi, ano pangalan mo?
Gwapo: Ako po?
Vice: Hindi sila, may nakikita ka pa bang tao? Malamang ikaw, ang *****.

(Sa gasoline station, pagbaba nya ng window)
Gas boy: Magpapagas po?
Vice: Hindi magpapaconfine ako. Malamang magpapagas, gasolinahan ‘to 'di ba? Alangan magpaconfine ako dito, tapos dextrose ko 'yung unleaded gasoline niyo, at ayun na yung ikakamatay ko.

(Sumakay siya ng jeep na walang laman papuntang palengke)
Vice: Manong bayad po.
Manong1: Ilan ‘to?
Vice: Ay manong dalawa yan, nakakahiya kasi sayo, kahit ako lang mag-isa sakay mo, dalawa na ibabayad ko, libre na kita kahit sayo 'tong jeep.

(Bababa na sya)
Vice: Manong, para.
Manong1: Bababa ka na?
Vice: Ay hindi manong, sasakay ako. Sasakay ako ulit, dun naman ako sa bubong, mas presko kasi dun.

(2nd attempt)
Vice: Para ho.
Manong1: Dyan ba sa tabi?
Vice: Ay hindi manong. Dun ako sa gitna, sa gitna para masagasaan ako.

(Binaba siya sa gitna)
Vice mabundol ng isa pang jeep…
Manong2: Nasaktan ka ba?
Vice: (naasar) Ay hindi, nag-enjoy ako. Ulitin natin, bunguin mo pa. Isa pa! Dali! Ang sarap kasi! Nakabundol ka tapos itatanong mo kung masakit? Ikaw kaya bundulin ko? Tapos i-share mo skin feelings mo, kaya na-enjoy mo, sige magbungguan tayo. Laruin natin, ipauso natin, bunggu-bungguan.
__________________

Filipino comedians, Foxy Ladies singing 'Tell Him'

2012-02-26T17:40:00.000-08:00

Very funny Filipino stand-up comedian and performers singing Tell Him of Celine Dion.

John Lapus impersonates Kris Aquino at Comedy Bar April 30, 2011

2012-02-25T19:28:00.000-08:00

John Lapus as KRIS ANINO - Comedy Bar April 30, 2011 (04.30.11)
credit to GMA 7's Comedy Bar. No copyright infringement intended.

Funny Michelle O'bombshell, impersonator of Michelle Obama

2012-02-24T23:49:00.000-08:00

This video is during Michelle's O'bombshell guesting in Comedy Bar in GMA. Very good stand up comedian.

VIDEO 1

VIDEO 2

Funny Alaska Photo

2012-02-19T11:30:00.000-08:00

Tagalog Jokes #1 - Akyat Bahay

2012-02-16T06:17:00.000-08:00

Juan: Bos pano natin to nnakawin e nakapadlock?

Pedro: Tnga ka ba? Gagamitin natin yung lagari para masira.

Juan: Ah ganun ba? Boss hindi naman siya nakalock e....

Pedro: Hay! Kung hindi ka ba naman isang malaking tnga. Edi ilock mo muna para malagari natin tapos ska natin nanakawin.

Funny Advertisements, Signboards And Banners 3

2012-01-21T16:13:00.000-08:00

Only in the Philippines you will see this hilarious advertisements and signboards. I have posted a few of these last year, well, here's the new set.

Last year posts:
Funny Advertisements, Signboards And Banners 1
Funny Advertisements, Signboards And Banners 2

Gerald Anderson FANATIC in Sinulog 2012 Went Crazy!

2012-01-18T01:43:00.000-08:00

A very funny fan of Gerald Anderson went crazy shouting and doing some crazy gestures. Taken during the Sinulog 2012 grand parade.

Standing Oblation by Marian Rivera

2012-01-10T22:36:00.000-08:00

An alleged tweet from Marian Rivera with Standing Oblation:
"congrats @pingmedina for standing oblation for asiong salonga. nag standing oblation din daw for panday 2 nung niplay na ung bayang magiliw"

Bisaya Jokes #6 - Atay Ning Meralco!

2011-09-22T16:00:00.000-07:00

Boy: Blesses me father for i have sinned….

Pari: Go ahead my son…

Boy: Nanglili ko ug babae, naligo man tu cya, kita iyang dughan, daku kaayo ug totoy, puti kaayo ug paa, nya gahubo ug panty…

Pari: Unsa pa?

Boy: Wa na kay ni-brown out man.

Pari: Atay ning Meralco oi!

Poor Dog in Wrong Hands of The Hulk Man

2011-09-22T15:58:00.000-07:00

Poor Dog in Wrong Hands of The Hulk Man

Bisaya Jokes #5 - Kalimtanon Na Jud!

2011-09-22T00:14:00.000-07:00

Mare 1: Grabe na jud ko ka kalimtanon oi, misaka gani ko ug hagdan, mo-hunong ko kay malimot ko kung paingon bako taas o sa ubos.

Mare 2: Ako? Simbako lang…(with matching knock 3 times on wood), dili jud ko limtanon. Excuse me sa ha kai murag naay nanuktok!!!

Most Embarassing Moments

2011-09-21T23:57:00.000-07:00

Embarassing Cheerleading Experience

His Mom Is Sick

Long Penis

Miss Gay Universe - Ms. Angola 2011 Question and Answer

2011-09-19T00:07:00.000-07:00

A question from Ms. Lea Salonga...
"if you could change one of your personal characteristics, which one would it be and why?!"

INTERPRETER: ....

MS. Angola answered -- "ashnohon mni sa oka uie.. aw oks kawabs ashnu ako igahot, ahmmm inik na ngal. Waki na ngal gahot diha. Shodi ngal a olark, id mana alis katubas.. waki na alahab ashnuhon sa omi, yeko ar? Oka na katching sa omi ha, gahoti lang ahid, kay if ma anyar si oks, angutch atch sa dada, katobas waks?!

Thank you muchos! Gracias BRAZIL!!

hahaha ikaw na jud rayna ANGOLA..

Anyhow, here's a very cute treat for you all.

After his video of impersonating Venus Raj last Miss Universe 2010, TheFierceDoll from Youtube again made another video acting like Leila Lopes during the Question and Answer in top 5 finalists, Miss Universe 2011.

TheFierceDoll as Miss Angola Leila Lopes.

VIDEO below:

Funny Cheaters Photos

2011-09-12T20:18:00.000-07:00

Do You cheat? And what do You think about cheating? Cheating everywhere in every time!

Funny Pictures of Cheating and Lying.

Bisaya Jokes #4 - Kondom, Sayz sir!

2011-08-12T19:32:00.000-07:00

Boy: Miss, palit kog kondom.

Tindera: Sayz sir.

Boy: (gihinay ang tingog pahunghung) hmmmmm…small lang miss

Tindera: Dili sir, kbaw ko gamay kag otin, ako pasabot tag sayz pesos ang usa ba..

Cellphone Joke #1 - Pollutants in the Philippines

2011-08-12T19:24:00.000-07:00

Bush: What are the pollutants in your country?

Jingoy: We have lots of pollutants....

we have sisig, kilawin, chicharon, mani

Erap: Anak, may nakalimutan ka,

Boy Bawang (cornik).

Funny Beauty Pageants Questions and Answers

2011-08-12T19:22:00.000-07:00

These are questions and actual answers of contest participants!

1. Q: “Ano sa Tagalog ang teeth?”
A: “Utong!”

2. Q: “Kung ang light ay ilaw, ano naman ang lightning?”
A: “Umiilaw!”

3. Q: “Kung vegetarian ang tawag sa kumakain ng gulay, ano ang tawag sa kumakain ng tao?
A: “Humanitarian?”

4. Q: “Sina Michael at Raphael ay mga.”
A: “Ninja?”

5. Q: “Ano ang karaniwang kasunod ng kidlat?”
A: “Sunog!”

6. Q: “Magbigay ng sikat na Willie.”
A: “Willie da pooh!”

7. Q: “Ang mga Hindu ay galing sa aling bansa?”
A: “Hindunesia?”

8. Q: “Anong hayop si King Kong?”
A: “Pagong!”

9. Q: “Magbigay ng mabahong pagkain.”
A: “Tae!”

10. Q: “Saang bansa matatagpuan ang mga Canadians?”
A: “Canadia!”

11. Q: “Kumpletuhin – Little Red _______.”
A: “Ribbon!”

12 Q: “Ano ang tinatanggal sa itlog bago ito kainin?”
A: “Buhok?”

13. Q: “Magbigay ng pagkain na dumidikit sa ngipin.”
A: “Tinga!”

14. Q: “Anong oras kadalasang pinapatay ang TV?”
A: “Pag balita?”

15. Q: “Ano ang tawag mo sa anak ng taong grasa?”
A: “Baby oil?”

16. Q: “Saan karaniwang ginagawa ang mga sweets na ginagamit sa halu-halo?”
A: “Sweetserland?”

17. Q: “Sinong higanteng G ang tinalo ni David?”
A: “Godzilla?”

18. Q: “Ano ang mas malaki, itlog ng ibon o sanggol ng tao?”
A: “Itlog ng tao!”

19. Q: “Anong S ang tawag sa duktor nag nago-opera?”
A: “Sadista?”

20. Q: “________ is the best policy.”
A: “Ice tea?”

22. Q: “Saan binaril si Jose Rizal?”
A: “Sa likod!”

23. Q: “Fill in the blanks – Beauty is in the eye of the ____.”
A: “Tiger?”

24. Q: “Ano ang kinakain ng monkey-eating eagle?”
A: “Saging!”

25. Q: “Kung ang suka ay vinegar, ano naman ang Inggles ng toyo?”
A: “Baliw!”

26. Q: “Anong tawag mo sa kapatid ng nanay mo?”
A: “Kamag-anak!”

27. Q: “Saan nakukuha ang sakit na AIDS?”
A: “Sa motel?”

28. Q: “Kung ang H2O ay water, ano naman ang CO2?”
A: “Cold water!”

29. Q: “Sinong cartoon charcater ang sumisigaw ng yabba dabba doo?”
A: “Si scooby dooby doo?”

30. Q: “Heto na si kaka, bubuka-bukaka.”
A: “Operadang bakla?”

31. Q: “Ilan ang bituin sa American flag?”
A: “Madami!”

32. Q: “Ano ang tawag mo sa taong isa lang ang mata?”
A: “Abnormal!”