Humor Hero

Study: Self-Inflicted Spork to Eye Injuries Increase As Cubs Season Nears End

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 15:41:00 +0000

A recent study published by the Mental Health Association of Greater Chicago suggests a relationship between self-inflicted spork to eye injuries and the Chicago Cubs dwindling playoff hopes. Michael...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

Obama Suggests Applying Cash For Clunkers To Health Care

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 18:09:00 +0000

Grand Junction, CO: At his third town hall meeting of the week in Grand Junction, Colorado yesterday, President Obama responded to what he called "simply dishonest" criticism of his health care plan...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

Four Lessons Learned From Recent Celebrity Deaths

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 02:14:00 +0000

The rash of recent celebrity deaths over the past two weeks and my Independence Day viewing of Gran Torino (SPOILER ALERT: Clint Eastwood gets his brains blown out at the end of the movie) had me...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

The Only Perfect Marriage: Man and Grill

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 16:51:00 +0000

I know this is hard to swallow ladies, but honesty is the first step to coping with your man's infidelities. The beautiful summer weather brings great temptation. It starts with a wandering eye in...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

Humor Hero Beats Swine Flu, Returns to Blogosphere

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Sun, 03 May 2009 15:37:00 +0000

Guadalajara, Mexico - Unpopular humorist, Humor Hero, has returned to the Blogosphere after two months in a Guadalajaran quarantine with swine flu. The blogger was reportedly planning a spring break...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

In Memoriam, Socks The Cat

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 19:01:00 +0000

(Washington) Former First Cat, Socks, was euthanized on Friday after a valiant battle with cancer. He was 19 years old. Once a stray, Socks grew up on the streets of Little Rock, Arkansas where his...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

Thanks Brett!

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 05:09:00 +0000

I'd like to issue a formal statement of gratitude to Brett Favre for taking the first step en route to fulfillment of the New Year's resolution I recommended for him. God bless you, Brett "No one has...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

Shuttlecock Diplomacy is a Sham

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 01:12:00 +0000

Bad news for USA Badminton. (It's OK. I didn't know USA Badminton existed either.) They will be unable to play in an upcoming tournament in Iran. I'm not sure why this is a problem. I've been...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

An Alternative to the Jonas Brothers

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 16:20:00 +0000

For my money, I'd rather go to a show featuring Snowball the Cockatoo any day:

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

New Year's Resolutions (For Other People)

noreply@blogger.com (Humor Hero) — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 06:42:00 +0000

Now that the holidays have ended and the decorations have been hidden in the basement, those New Year's resolutions should be in full swing. This year, instead of making promises to myself that I'll...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

Humor Hero Survives Fracas with Rod Blagojevich's Hair

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 03:34:00 +0000

Chicago, IL - Local blogger, Humor Hero, and embattled, Illinois Governor, Rod Blagojevich, were detained by police after an altercation in a Chicago Supercuts. The unpopular humorist reportedly...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

It's The Most Wonderful Time of The Year?

noreply@blogger.com (Humor Hero) — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 01:10:00 +0000

It's Christmastime and if you're not ten years old anymore, it's lost some of its luster. When I was the only young'un in a large Italian family, I pillaged the nether Christmas Tree region like a...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

What I Gave Thanks For This Year

noreply@blogger.com (Humor Hero) — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 20:27:00 +0000

Thanksgiving is a great holiday. I don't need an excuse to eat like Hurley Reyes, but when I have one, I take advantage, to the tune of three desserts or more. After my annual viewing of the Ford...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

Apply for Your Piece of the Bailout Pie

noreply@blogger.com (Humor Hero) — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 18:37:00 +0000

A couple weeks ago I shared ideas to save money in these turbulent economic times. If eating dangerous quantities of Spam doesn't appeal to you, there is another remedy. As opposed to saving money...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

Preview of the New AE Series: "Flip This Vote"

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 16:08:00 +0000

Did our democratic process get lost in the 70s? What the hell is this thing? A modified 8-track player? In the richest country in the world, a place where cars can almost drive themselves, movies can...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

Surviving the Economic Slowdown

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 01:45:00 +0000

The global economy is a shambles. Exhibit A: AIG executives now have to borrow money from the government for their spa treatments and hunting retreats. Exhibit B: Over the past three weeks, the Dow...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

This is Not the Year

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 05:27:00 +0000

Aaaaaaaaaand there's always next year. Cubs lose! Cubs lose! Cubs lose!

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

This is the Year (Supposedly)

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:55:00 +0000

It was Saturday at the Humor Hero home. "What are you thinking about?" my wife asked as I stared pensively at the ceiling. "I'm wondering what the Cubs playoff lineup will look like. Derosa might be...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

Animals Best Equipped to be Vice President

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 23:57:00 +0000

On September 3, 2008, resident GOP Goomah, Sarah Palin, fondled the imaginations of middle aged, Viagra chomping, gun-toting, red-blooded American men, saying, “...what is the difference between a...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

Hurricane Ike Hits Texas - Morons Wait it Out As Usual

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 02:49:00 +0000

Humans come in two varieties: those who evacuate when a hurricane comes and those who refuse and then beg for help. The latter group plays right into the hands of organized religion. Their...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

Lessons Learned from the 2008 Beijing Olympics

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 20:01:00 +0000

Now that the 2008 Beijing Olympics have ended and we've had a few days, let's reflect on what we've learned about China, competition and life over those two exciting weeks. China will Dominate the...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

More Productivity Lost During Meetings Than Rampant Internet Abuse

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 14:07:00 +0000

If anyone asked, science would tell us that Internet access improves worker morale and efficiency. Remember life before the web? Me neither - let's forget those dismal times. Nowadays, when you're...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

All I Ever Needed to Know About Life I Learned from Bacon

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 02:06:00 +0000

I would marry bacon if I could find a legitimate priest to perform the ceremony. It's one guilty pleasure I can't resist. There's nothing quite like it: the sizzle, the salty taste, the meaty...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

Hockey: The Secret to Self Improvement

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 02:30:00 +0000

"Self-help" is a multibillion dollar industry. Some search desperately for meaning through spirituality or environmental responsibility. Others use motivational tools to cause career advancement or...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]

One Step Plan for Financial Success: Start an Insurance Company

noreply@blogger.com (The Hero News) — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 02:00:00 +0000

Being a hero is a dangerous job, and for that reason, I recently signed up for accident and sickness indemnity insurance (mostly because I never know when my luck will run out and my wife will try to...

[[Read on for the rest of this story. Don't forget to vote in this week's poll!]]