Seinfeld without his make up

It’s no surprise that someone with as much recognition as Seinfeld would succumb the harshness of using the zombie virus to stay young.

After his show ended and went into syndication, many people believed that the “non-cussing” comedian would just retire to some mansion in the hills and drink martinis until he finally died and we would all honor his memory with Facebook posts.

But no, Seinfeld wanted to continue his career as a stand up comedian.  The problem is, well, Jerry is not that funny.

His “Who are these people?” jokes only go so far and when you are trying to entertain a room full of drunk ppl, well, ya gotta let a few “f*cks” and ‘sh!ts” fly out of yer mouth to stay relevant in a country where South Park is doing another season.

So, did old Jerry change his act to match with the times?  Nope.  Not at all.  Instead, he obtained a strain of the zombie virus believing it would keep him young and funny.  Unfortunately, he bought into a lie that is starting to show.

Wishing it was a human dick

As you can see from the image above, Jerry went crazy and his jokes didn’t get any better.  Recently, he stated he would no longer be appearing on college campuses as the new generation is too “PC” to understand his jokes.

Actually, it’s just the opposite. Now at 60 years old,  Jerry is mad as hell that the incurable zombie virus he injected himself with has turned him into a looney old man telling jokes that only make old, rich, white fucks chuckle.  And even then, the chuckles are small.

His appearance definitely shows signs of his age which only infuriates him more that his “cure” did not work.  It is also believed that Jerry isn’t performing at colleges anymore because the new generation knows a lot about the zombie virus and would be able to tell that the comedian is a flesh-eating monster.  He’d be dead before he got off stage.

This undead reporter has no doubt that Jerry will soon succumb to the facts and, eventually, seclude himself in his million dollar home (one of them) and rot away until he finally kills himself or lets the new generation do it for him.

It’s sad to see the old man go this way.  Maybe in the next life he will just eat more fruits and vegetables and write funnier jokes.

-HSZ

We got you, MotherF&cker!

(Sorry to be absent, folks.  This old zombie has been busy and while I have been working people have gone Zombie Crazy.)

Hey Deadites, This is Hunter S. Zombie, your walking, talking undead writer and have got a few bones to pick.

First off, in case you’ve been living in Utah, Zombies are everywhere!

After World War Z made half a billion dollars and The Walking Dead TV show demands the attention of over 16 million viewers (on average), the crumbling infrastructure that is Hollywood is doing all they can to cash in on this craze with no signs of slowing.

"You know what this love story needs? Zombies, bitches!"

The Game of Thrones just debut an episode of “White Walkers” which are freezing zombies, that are now attacking the Wildlings and are on their way to kill the Men of the Night’s Watch.   If you don’t watch the show, don’t worry.  All you need to know is that they have zombies too.

Many TV shows have picked up on the craze.  iZombie is now a TV show, based on the comic book; The Walking Dead is getting a spinoff TV show called “Fear the Walking Dead“, as if ppl didn’t already, and the big news, the godfather and creator of all this, George A. Romero, is turning his comic book into a TV show, entitled, “Empire of the Dead.” 

All this zombie madness makes this old undead writer feel a little fuzzy inside.  I can now walk outside without getting shot.  Well, in most states, Texas is still pretty jumpy.  But now that Gov. Greg Abbott signed a legalization bill of CBD, I’m sure Texas will soon be a little more calm. (I’ll talk more about Abbott the Zombie in a later article.)

Now, with all this going on, there are some zombie fans that are not happy.  Many zombie fans were limited to a small group that praised Romero for his work and any indie artist doing their part to help spread the virus. Now, everyone and their mother is a zombie fan and that breeds a very particular fear.

The fear is “Saturation”.

Just like the sparkling vampires before us, many zombie fans have felt that this new craze will eventually bite us in the ass with an incurable disease.  See, when something is popular it starts to get diluted and soon we start seeing horrible forms of zombie media.

"Me no good?"

Many zombie fans hated “World War Z“, especially the ending, as well as “Warm Bodies”, “House of the Dead”, “Return of the Living Dead 5″ and the remake of “Day of the Dead”.

So that begs the question: When will the zombie craze stop?

Well, for most of us hardcore fans, Zombies will always be the greatest monster ever created, no matter what shitty movie is thrown at us.

But with all these forms of zombie media smacking us in the face wherever we turn, at one point, the general public are going to start asking for a complete cease and desist.

I’ve encountered many writers that HATE zombies due to the constant use of them.  If you even mention the Z word to some folks, they will just tell you to shut up and start running away.

Will the crest of this high and beautiful zombie wave soon break and roll back to shore?  With all that is in production, listed above, I don’t think so.  We could be seeing more and more zombies till about 2025.  Then maybe everyone will be into mummies or frankensteins or … something.

Point is, all good things come to an end and good zombie movies and TV shows may very well be headed in that direction.  Many zombie fans feel it already has.

-HSZ

The Undead and his Creator

Years ago, 2010 to be exact, I met the famed filmmaker, George A. Romero, as seen in the pic above.

While many know that George created the first flesh-eating zombies that we all know and love, what they DON’T know is that George never got the copyrights to the film or his creation.

Since my comic book, Stillborn: The First Zombie, is inspired and based on George’s creation, I felt it only right to give a little something back to the Godfather of Zombies.

Currently, Stillborn has finished it’s 5th issue, which finished our first storyline, The Trap, creating our first trade paperback.

Since TPBs or Graphic Novels, as they are called these days, have been the big thing in the publishing world, me and Phillip have decided to give 10% of all our sales to George.

Some call us crazy but it just seems like the right thing to do.  If all zombie artists did this, then George could finally get a piece of the millions of dollars that he lost out on.  Personally, I think that fat fuck Robert Kirkman owes Romero a BIG check.

So click HERE and go get yourself a copy so we can actually give George some money, instead of the $20 bucks that Phillip donated because, well, when you do your own comic book you are pretty much broke.

The Trap

-HSZ

"Arguing with Artists"

Well, friends of the Undead, this old zombie has hit another hurdle that ain’t fun.

Back in October, I did an author signing with Piranha Toys for my comic book, Stillborn: The First Zombie.  It was a great time, lots of folks and plenty of pictures.

Well, coming up, is another convention, a two day event known as the Sci-Fi Expo.  Plenty of fan favorites and celebrities, plus all the comic books you could want.

Now, Phillip is the artist and at this convention we wanted to get our own table in the artist alley.  There was just one problem, Phillip didn’t want to go.

Phillip: “I thought we had a deal; I draw while you write and promote.  You said you loved getting your picture taken.”

HSZ: “As long as I’m not being killed afterwards, sure, I love pics, but this is the ARTIST ALLEY, you bastard.  People want to meet the artist.  They want to meet you.”

Phillip:  ”Hunter, look, I’m not a salesman.  I used to work at Wal-Mart and I nearly killed someone, for goddsake.  I don’t like dealing with people, that’s why I sit in my cave and draw.”

HSZ: “Oh, will you fucking grow a pair already?!!  These are comic book fans not Bobby Joe & Cletis!  You’ll get respect and pose for pictures all day!”

Phillip: “People that go to conventions want to take pictures with people in costume!  That’s why you are so perfect!  I don’t wear a costume!”

HSZ: “Then throw on some fucking zombie make-up and hold up your end of the deal, you swine!  I stood in one place for over 12 hours, screaming my head off for people to buy our comic.  Besides, I’m going to the ComicCon and to Texas Frightmare, remember?  This is one for the artist!  This convention is for you, you ungrateful bastard!”

Phillip:  ”I dunno.  I don’t think we’ll sell as many comics.”

HSZ: “Then draw some Darth Vader pics and sell whatever you can!  We need the profit to afford the next two conventions!  Now, get your pitch ready and get out there!”

Phillip:  ”What if I don’t make enough–”

HSZ:  ”I don’t want to hear that shit!  Either go to the convention and meet the people or I eat your body for the next three weeks, got it?!”

With that, Phillip had no more argument and agreed to go to the convention.

So, folks, this old zombie is sitting it out, but Phillip will be there to sign autographs and take pics (hopefully with some costume on).

Make your way to the Irving Convention Center on Feb 9th, 2013, near Dallas, TX, for the SCI-FI EXPO.

The 2nd issue of Stillborn will be debuting and copies will be available!

-HSZ

Cocaine's a hell of a drug...

Hello zombie readers of the world.  Things have been going crazy lately as more zombie films are hitting the theaters, including the World War Z film in 2013, but I’ll get to that later.

As I’ve been working on Stillborn: The First Zombie, I’ve heard disturbing news from the depths of the metal-head planet.

Recently, I was told that lead singer of the metal band Megaeth, Mr. Dave Mustaine, has recently made statements in another country that Obama has staged a series of shootings throughout the US in order to pass a gun ban.

…say that again?

I know cocaine can turn a person’s brain to cement, but not into a slobbering, insane nut-job!

In my possession are reports that claim Dave Mustaine was booted out of Metallica in the 80′s because of his abuse with a synthetic version of the zombie virus.  Dave loved to get high, but now he wanted to get cannibal crazy.

After being booted from Metallica, Dave started Megadeth and has dealt with the horrendous devastation that he will live forever in the shadow of James and the boys.  Dave became a “born again Christian” in order to help ween himself off drugs and focus on his band and not the one that left him behind.

But Dave became weak and soon starting snorting various strains of the zombie virus.  However, Dave’s tolerance for the virus had grown massively and instead of turning into a full blown flesh eater, he’s just gone fucking nuts.

Dave's expected transformation

To all those who think Obama is going to take our guns, let me assure you that it will never happen.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to take a gun away from someone who knows how to use it?

Being a zombie, I’ve been shot plenty of times and I understand that a person’s right to own a firearm is necessary in our great America.  It creates jobs, helps calm shaky citizens and can give us an advantage over Canada when they invade. (watch South Park for more info)

So don’t worry folks, no one is going to take your guns.  However, Dave Mustaine I cannot guarantee.

-HSZ

Well, zombie fans, it’s here!

As we have waited and speculated, World War Z: The Movie is coming this summer, 2013.

From the trailer, there are obvious differences from the novel.  Instead of Gerry interviewing folks about the Zombie Apocalypse, he’s right smack in the middle of it all.

The zombies are “fast zombies” as opposed to the “slow zombies’ in the book.

So far, it looks good but the end result will be the final “decider”.

Watch the new trailer HERE

The Show all should Know

The Dallas Comic Con was great fun and plenty of pics are available on our Facebook page.

Stillborn was welcomed graciously by new fans and I sure got a laugh or two being a walking, talking member of the UnDead.  But don’t worry, I didn’t bite anyone, I had a fat, chubby baby before I arrived.

While there were plenty of great costumes, save for the younger females dressed like jailbait. I had to turn my eyes away as I felt like a pedophile on a few occasions.  But I found myself eyeing the rather “robust” attendees. Nothin’ makes my mouth water like a fat guy.

We sold over half our stock in a single day and even sold the poster for the event.

Making Long Haired friends in all the right places

And the good news just kept on coming.

Phillip recently got off the phone with Walt Flanagan of the AMC tv show “Comic Book Men”.  Walt runs the comic book store “Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash” in Red Bank, NJ.

Mr. Walt Flanagan

Phillip pitched our Stillborn packages and Walt ordered 5 for the shop!

That’s right, folks.  Stillborn: The First Zombie is now available on East Coast and is in one of the most popular comic book stores in the country!

The Stash in Red Bank is quickly becoming the Crown Jewel of comic book stores.  Now, get your ass to The Stash and go buy a copy!

Help us spread the Stillborn infection! You tell ‘em, Steve-Dave!

-HSZ

LIT Monthly Magazine Oct. 2012

Yer old pal Hunter has started to make his way into the medias eye.

Last month I was interviewed by the sexy Sadine Lynch for LIT Monthly in Dallas, TX.

You can a get a copy of LIT at the locations listed on their website here.

You can also read the full article at the Stillborn website here.

It’s a great write-up and I owe Sadine alot of thanks. Here’s the full article for those of you that are too lazy to click.

Interview with a Zombie

by Sadie Lynch

LIT Magazine

Oct. 2012

The rise of the Zombies is upon us!  Well, at least the rise of Zombie stories.  Whether in books, film or comics – the tales of the flesh-eaters have come full circle from the shocking imagery in The Night of the Living Dead.  ”Zombie walks” annually take over Dallas streets, The Walking Dead series is a media phenomenon, and you can even buy a zombie survival guide at your local bookstore.

But have you ever wondered… where did it all begin?

Hunter S. Zombie and his cohort Phillip K. have tackled this question with a new comic series known as… Stillborn: The First Zombie. He embodies the one key characteristic – he is the first living dead.  The work is heavily influenced by the art of Frank Miller’s Sin City which is apparent in the illustrations of the Thomas Family home where the main character enters our world.  And if you think this is a tale of heroes triumphing over evil, you are deathly wrong – this is the monster’s story after all!

Stillborn: The First Zombie comes to us from a former filmmaker and horror fan so there are no flat characters here!  The first issue leaves you wanting to know MORE about the monster and those who unfortunately cross his path.

Issue 1 of Stillborn is out now, so grab your copy and get drawn into this first chapter of the great tale of Zombies.  Stillborn is available at Awesome Comics in Dallas, online at www.terrorcomics.com or visit www.stillbornthefirstzombie.com for a full list of places to buy and more info about the Stillborn saga.

————

I lovely little piece and shall be followed by more after this weekends big convention.  If you haven’t had a chance yet, get on over to the Dallas ComicCon website and get the info!  See you there!

-HSZ

Come for the Comic, Stay for the Zombie

Hello all friends of the Undead!

I am proud to announce that Stillborn: The First Zombie will be available at the Dallas ComicCon Fan Days Expo going on in Irving, TX, Oct. 19-21.

I have to say that this old zombie can’t wait to go.  I’ll be there on Oct. 20th from opening till close, 10am – 7pm, at the Piranha Toys Booth!

Phillip, the artist behind Stillborn, was working hard at getting into the convention when were told about it from his good friend, G. Noel, owner of Piranha Toys.

I got a copy of the floor map for the convention, you can find us here:

Find The Zombie at DCC Fandays

We should have about 80 issues of Stillborn #1 available, so first come, first served.

Phillip has put together a $5 dollar package for the comic book.  The Package includes:

Stillborn #1
Free Digital Download of #1
Free Board and Bag
Free Old Comic Book
Free Terror Comics Sticker

The issue and the digital copy are worth $5 on their own, so we added some other fun stuff to sweeten the deal.

Awesome Comics was gracious enough to let us dig through their back stock and get some old issues.  We got a great deal and want to give a special thanks to Jake for all his help.

So gather your comics, put on your costume and head on down to the Irving Convention Center on Oct 20th and come see me in the undead flesh.

See you there!

-HSZ

It is here!

Stillborn: The First Zombie issue #1 is here!

After months of hard labor and madness, the first issue in the series is available online!

This first issue is practically a teaser to the entire story.  Two teens enter an abandon house and are horribly killed by a dark and monstrous figure.

The comic then steers toward our first batch of victims where each one will find their death.

You can read more about the story by checking out the website, www.StillbornTheFirstZombie.com.

What’s really great is that you can read the first 12 pages before you buy the comic.

And anyone who purchases a printed copy and get a digital copy for FREE!

We’ve been hitting up comic book stores across the US and I’m glad to say that Stillborn is in 5 cities and counting!

If you know of a comic book store that you love and want them to carry Stillborn, tell them to stop by and drop us a line to get a free digital copy of the comic book.  All comic book sellers get a free digital copy as a Thank You for selling our favorite medium.

Go and get your copy, we have listings on Amazon, eBay and Kindle!

Spread the virus and let all know the name Stillborn!

-HSZ