Fresco

Late Night Thought

2018-04-15T01:44:00.000+08:00

I think a part of growing up is realizing that you’re not someone’s priority despite of all the sacrifices you make to give them moon and stars. It seems bearable to hold the hurt in the beginning, having the positive thought of good things take time and give them time for it, when in reality, time could break heart into small pieces, and ironically, they still unaware of it.

If time could make someone acknowledge something that they don’t, then why there are still thousands of people out there who are suffering of being ignored, rejected or even left?

Never put the blame on someone who cares for you, cares about all the littlest things about you. 7 billion people in this world and who has the idea that there will be that one person who devotedly waiting for you. That one person who always shows how it’s not impossible to show love in distinct ways.

Let it be a simple “take care” or “buckle up” or “have you had your dinner?” or “how’s your day?” or “ring me if you’ve reached there” or even “you look good today”, each one of it apparently sounds different but the concern and the affection which well-blended with the question/compliment are tragically unnoticed by most people.

Sigh. There's no point of pointing this out. You still don't get it.

So Fresh yet not So Fresh

2018-01-13T21:03:00.000+08:00

Nothing can beat the feeling of reading old posts and having the thought of wanting to write again. Trust me I’ve been wanting to start writing again since years ago but I’ve to keep my hands on my work as degree life is just so much busier than I thought. I’ve so many commitments that sometimes I forgot to let myself having a cup of coffee and just enjoy life.

On the other hand, I still pay a visit to my favourite bloggers’ sites despite all the due dates, dramas, foul-ups and of course my 24/7 beautiful naps.

To start this fresh 2018, what can I say is I, am still being me. Still working my ass in my studies, still hoping the best in everything I do, still wanting to get out of my comfort zone, still making people I love happy, still being that friend who makes lame jokes, still left my hand dry for a long time after having my meal, still awkward with almost everyone, still overthink about things I shouldn’t and still being here, writing and sharing whatever I could—so nobody feels like they’re alone in this world, carrying big burden on their shoulder, struggling and surviving.

2017 left me with an endless profusion of crises and consequences which then I acknowledged, every cloud has a silver lining. I think I can safely use ‘optimistic’ to describe what I’ve become now. Frankly, I now tend to have positive mind-set which often yields positive outcome (well at least most of them haha). I know being over-confident kills but self-confidence deserved to be nurtured in every one of us. I’ve been surrounded with people who have guts as high as Mount Everest to take risk and challenge in any decision they made.

“If you never try, you'll never know.”

I know the quote may seem like an old chestnut let alone when it’s been the simplest yet a piece-of-cake advice ones can give but if you could take a deep dive into its meaning, it certainly can change someone’s world. Nobody wants to just stay in their own zone without taking any step further, cause it’s better to take a baby step than nothing.

That’s why I hope 2017 would at least be a stepping stone for all of us to achieve whatever goals we’ve set for this year, as I believe we all have learned something from the previous year, directly or vice versa.

Love, Rosie

2015-12-02T14:51:00.000+08:00

Recently, I just finished reading Love, Rosie by Cecelia Ahern. This book was first published as Where Rainbows End but then it was adapted into movie entitled Love, Rosie. Some of you probably have already watched it but as usual, the book is way better than the movie. Oh here this guy again complaining about how book version is better than movie blah blah…

image source : google

I was actually not into love, romance book but I also couldn’t stand living my life just focusing on serious stuff, letting myself drown in black and white so I supposed this kind of book would help me relieved my stress to some extent, and surprisingly it worked. Love, Rosie has so many humors as I think I have to apologize for people surrounding for chuckling and then immediately pretended like nothing was going on. Don't judge but I think I started to keen on this kind of book material.

One of the unique traits about this book which I think distinguish it with other books (that I read) is how the writer presented the story-line. I love the idea of making the whole story only based on the letter and chat messenger that posted/sent between the characters and it then evolves the story-line. It sort of narrates about one's lifetimes. From how Rosie knew Alex and their childhood, and getting married part, divorced, have sons, daughter and.. oh wait as much as I hate spoiler I think I shouldn't be one for those who haven't read it yet. You're welcome.

This book basically a story about how best friends could change into lovers. Yes, very cliché yet it still happens around us. We do hear or read or being exposed with the myth of being best friends with different gender is not going to work as one of them (or perhaps both) will fall in love with another. I do respect with this perspective but I guess it doesn’t work on everyone?

“You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you’re doing, where you are, who you’re with, and if you’re OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who could make you happy, really happy, dancing on air happy.”

The hopes and dreams that you’ve set in the beginning sometimes don’t work like what they supposed to. That’s how the perfect life you expected and you planned turned into misery and everything turned upside down and ruined every single thing. And that’s how you know the only option left is just moving on.

I would like to recommend this book for those who seek for something light, witty and heart-warming read.

Amir8ain

2015-11-15T16:18:00.000+08:00

These past weeks have been a really total mess up in my life. I’ve never got abundance of assignments which have to be submitted on the nail with quiz and test for every subject while finishing up the proposal for my final year project, preparing for my final exam at the same time. You can tell I’m really lack of sleep by looking at my eye bags and dark circle under my eyes. Frankly speaking, it’s a big lie if I say I don’t have that thought to give up studying and just stay at home watching my favourite tv shows but my desire to succeed beyond everything. Other than that, I’m sharing the same oxygen with people who keep telling me to never stop what I have started.

Enough with life-complaining session, I had my lovely intermission last two weeks attending my cousin’s wedding reception in Penang. ‘Last two weeks’ and only now I can make room for updating about this. The reception started at 8.30 pm but we had to come early for the rehearsal and stuff.

The reception started with the arrival of the parents of both sides to the ballroom followed by the groom and the bride accompanied by the soothing love song. I have to say that the song was matching so well led me to ask for the song title to the DJ but it might sound desperate and out to date so I’m sorry guys.

Abang amir was wearing black tuxedo with a bow tie while his wife had a very elegant, fascinate white gown on her body. She absolutely look stunning at that night. No doubt.

Let’s talk about our favourite part. Yes, food. The menu for that night was quiet appetizing I tell you. I ate a lot as I didn’t have lunch in the afternoon. We were served with gado-gado, Madura Chicken Soto, spicy fried prawn, nasi minyak, dalca, sweet sour fish, rose chicken and last but not least the caramel cream. My vote definitely goes to the sweet sour fish. Nothing different but it just scrumptious.

Trust your eyes the table was obviously empty without food because it was the time when the reception hasn’t started yet. Nah, now tell me who wants to take photo of the foods when you can just enjoy having it? haha.

Kudos to the emcee for successfully handling the wedding reception which has now opened my eyes that a person with various talents yet still down to earth still exist in this world. My hat’s off to him for being able to being the emcee handling the whole event, he was the one who was praying the du’a which was really beautiful, he could sing multiple songs of different language, he could dance (well not bad) and he could even entertained the guests with his jokes.

The reception ended around 10.30 pm and we eventually had time to take for our family photos and making every corner in the ballroom like our house haha.

Public Speaking

2015-09-04T08:27:00.001+08:00

Have you ever realized that life is too short to just be in your own comfort zone and not challenge yourself something you never tried before?

I've come to realize these things recently so that’s probably the reason why I made this crazy decision to participate in public speaking competition. Trust me I didn't contemplate enough to join. I used to participate in choral speaking competition back then when I was still a school kid but you can't see the resemblance between these two things. Although it was just a public speaking competition which was organized for the English Carnival, but still the format is same. You get the tittle, build up your points and get ready to be killed on the stage. Did I mention it was an impromptu speech?

Fortunately, the number of the contestants was not like what I anticipated. Overall there were 20 contestants for the first round. After registered my name and got my turn number (which is number 6, and yes from 20 contestants, oh trust me I was not excited at all to come that early. The register time was really on time, it was the contestants who came and registered late. They were surely got the consensus to come late together).

For the first round, the title that became my food was “If I could rule the world”. Thank god the title was not that tough since the word ‘world’ itself doesn't limit on specific place or situation or even circumstance. So the first point that I gave was I want to wane the poverty all around the world. I highlighted about the importance of working hard no matter what job they do for living. The second point was the emphasis of education to everyone regardless the age, gender, where they come from and whatnot. My last point was the equality for the women. Means give the women their rights to develop this world together and at the same time give the opportunity for them to show what they have in order to make this world as a better place. Well, who is man without woman right?

The announcement of the contestants for the next round which is straight to the final round (and which only eight contestants qualified) didn't excite me at all. I guess I was done talking rubbish and embarrassing myself on the stage but surprisingly I made it to the final. I couldn't deny the pressure was a bit high and the competition became excitingly intense since the finalists were all great and amazing.

The title that I got for the final round was “Three Things that Scared Me”. Oh I think I can list down millions things that scared me with the firm reasons haha. My first point was how I scared if people put high expectation on me but ended up I disappoint them (this is really cliché but I guess it happened to everyone too). My second point was how I scared if I’m losing my loved ones. It was a bit emotional talking about this like you unconsciously imagined about your loved ones, left this world forever and what if the rest leave you too, before you. You just have no one else anymore. My last but not least point was thinking about future, everything about future; studies, marriage, country, and that’s just scary even when I write this. It’s pessimism.

Don’t waste your time guessing either I won or not because obviously I wasn't haha. The winners were undeniably amazing with their points, the elaborations, their facial expression, the way they talked and their self-confidence for sure. I have to say it was a great experience to expose myself to sometimes be a speaker instead of audience. Plus it was nice to make some new cool friends and learned how to get self-confidence in various ways. Whatever it is, I still proud of myself for capable challenged myself doing something I never did before. Well, every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.

Raya 2015

2015-08-01T08:17:00.000+08:00

A part of ramification of going through the kid-adult stage is the excitement of hari raya that has waned due to some insignificant reasons. You can occupy all your free time doing all those things that you usually do when hari raya is just around the corner. Buy new baju melayu/baju kurung, make cookies, play fireworks, collect duit raya, but I bet everyone will agree if I state that it is not the same anymore. You can see the exhilaration but you don’t feel it. You can’t feel it.

As we grow older, we unconsciously accept a lot of responsibility and obligation to fulfil our human nature. Our minds have been set up to be concentrate on vital things particularly based on our priority for instance student. You cannot escape from been rained with millions assignments, researches and stuff. Due to that, I guess nobody’s aware of how fast time is running as we excessively put too much focus on our daily routines today. We left all the excitement and hilarity in order to be a part of a group of intricate people called adults.

Whatever it is, growing up sucks. And it still sucks even though you’re done growing up.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

Paper Towns

2015-06-16T07:29:00.000+08:00

I rarely took so much time to finish a book (in average pages) but swear to god I took around 12 months to finish Paper Towns. Alright simply say a year. I’d tried to balance my studies time, rollicking time with friends and even time for myself. However the term ‘time for myself’ is normally filled up by taking naps in behalf of getting rid of the fatigue caused by full classes, assignments and whatnot so I supposed the so-called ‘time for myself’ does not exist and it’s probably just a delusion. So excuse, denied.

Enough with pointless explanation, here’s a short synopsis about Paper Towns by John Green.

Quentin believes that Margo Roth Spiegelman has run away from home, and is leaving him clues to her whereabouts. With his friends, Ben and Radar, Quentin investigates a paper trail (a Paper Towns paper trail) left by Margo (including her highlighted copy of Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman) that leads them to an abandoned mini-mall. When the trail goes cold, Quentin worries that Margo Roth Spiegelman's body has gone cold too. He scared if she committed suicide just like the man they found nine years ago.

I’ll rate this book 8.5 out of 10. It has a nice storyline, some humorous characters which led me to giggle and sometimes burst into laugh, some adventurous parts but I have to say in the middle of the story it’s getting a lil bit bored but no worries, you’ll discover another climax afterwards.

Here are my favourite lines from Paper Towns.

“ I like the strings. I always have. Because that’s how it feels. But the strings make pain seem more fatal than it is, I think. We’re not as frail as the strings would make us believe. And I like the grass, too. The grass got me to you, helped me to imagine you as an actual person. But we’re not different sprouts from the same plant. I can’t be you. You can’t be me. You can imagine another well- but never quite perfectly, you know? ”

I’m so blithe finding out Paper Towns is going to be out as a movie soon. I seriously can’t wait for the movie to be out in the cinema so I guess amateur book readers like me have the opportunity to distinguish between the book and the movie version (even though all the based-on-book movies frequently not like what readers expected them to be) but let’s give a chance, shall we?

Desolate

2015-05-25T14:03:00.000+08:00

To be honest, I’m really a person who devoid of talent to socialize with people. If you could gauge the extent of my socialization, it would be at the bottom. I’m not kidding. I do love hang out with bunches of people, do something boisterously insane, something memorable so I can reminisce when I practically bored or something. But then again, I prefer to just be in a small group, or maybe with someone I’m comfortable with. The thing is, it’s really hard for me to approach slash be approached by people.

I don’t really mind if people are labeling me with a loner or anti-social or whatsoever. I know myself better. I have built my circle small and I do think that I did the right thing. I mean if you have already built your circle small, you don’t have to deal with idiots and their pathetic drama in the first place. Life is too short to give your precious attention over something that is apparently not worth your time.

You might have heard this million times but allow me to remind you for another million times. People come and go. You can’t even anticipate what people’s intention once they stepped into your life. Yes, life is incontestably mystery and crazy but that’s what makes it more exciting. I guess.

There are always times where you’re surrounded with people particularly your friends but you unconsciously still feel desolate and sort of seek for attention and love. Most people always underestimate those people who likely went to most places alone as they think that these people don’t have friends or nobody wants to be friends with them. However as you grow up, I can say your perspective towards this matter could entirely change.

Life is full with distinct stages and there’s one where you have to be fully independent. You can’t even rely on someone but be capable of acting and thinking for your own self instead. Life is all about choices and you have to opt the best for the sake of your life. At the end of the day, it’s all about you.

Beanie

2015-05-07T08:45:00.000+08:00

Life is too short to spend time on styling our hair. I've to admit, when it comes to hair, guys usually take hours to styling our hair (or it’s probably just me). I've this kind of hair which makes me look like a homeless whenever I don’t put some hair gels or sprays. I know a lot of guys out there struggle the same battle so that’s why I would like to suggest this cool accessory that surely looks suitable for all guys called beanie.

Beanies are seen to be one of the most popular accessories guys nowadays often use. Sometimes it’s much easier to wear a beanie compared to styling our hair. Beanies can definitely be a fashion trick guys can use to either cover our messy hair or to perk up our outfits. Why not go easy once in a while and opt for beanies instead. As people said different people different style, you can wear beanie with any style you want but here are three beanie styles that you can rock with.

1. Standard Beanie

The standard beanie look is the most common style worn by guys as by just throwing it on top of your head, you are set to go. The way to wear a standard beanie is to cover your eyes and all your hair without being seen. However, do take note that this style may be easy but hard for every guy to pull off.

2. David Beckham

The David Beckham style or commonly known as the low top is a trendy look you could flaunt. By wearing it far back and letting some hair tuft out at the front part, you will have that too cool for school look which will absolutely bring your masculine macho character to the top. This is really my favorite.

3. The High Top

Before I mentioned the trendy low top, you can also make a high top look with the beanie hats as well. Make your beanie hat stand out and puff it up on top of your head with a little hair peeking out. For making the beanie hat look balance and stable as you move about, keep it vertical and well-rounded for the rest of the day. Rest the beanie hat above your ears and walk with confidence anywhere you go.

For those guys who interested to get a few beanie hats into your fashion collection at home, check out ZALORA as they offer a wide range of beanie hats for men online from various well-known brands and I’m definitely going to buy some.

AimanXNabila

2015-04-15T14:26:00.000+08:00

Feel like it’s been a while since I don’t attend a big wedding ceremony like this. My cousin, Nabila Shazwani is finally hitched to her boyfriend, Shiekh Muhammad Aiman. They had known each other a long time since they were in the same primary school and who knows in 2015 they finally got married to each other. Allah’s plan is always better and more beautiful than everything else in this world. Sometimes you always chase someone who is miles away from you but you utterly unconscious about someone who is devotedly waiting for you right beside you.

Kak Nabila's wedding reception happened on Saturday at Banquet Hall, UPM. I had the best time being surrounded by the big family. The wedding started at 11am and everyone look so beautiful and looking good in the blue suit.

Really love all dishes on that day!


I was helping arrange/hand out the door gifts to all guests

As I was arrange some of the door gifts on the table, I spotted someone who look so familiar walking in the hall. I might look so weird for staring at a guy for minutes but yes it was really Hairul Azreen. The one who proposed Hanis Zalikha few months ago but too bad he didn’t bring her along, haha.

It's so cool to have this badge that shows relationship between you and the bride

Who can't say nooo to photo booth

Btw here's the video of the solemnization of Abang Aiman and Kak Nabila.

Distinctive

2015-02-25T11:46:00.000+08:00

I always believe in the power of respect to other people’s interests. For me, everyone was born with their own passion. It doesn’t matter what’s your gender, how old are you or where you come from, we’re all have at least one thing that attract us to explore. However, having that unordinary interest seemingly looks like a bad idea here in Malaysia. We’ve been exposed to the stereotype of guys ostensibly more to football, army, video games, or anything that looks rough from the outside while girls towards cooking (or every single thing that related to the kitchen literally). It’s 2015 now and I feel sorry for those people who still live in this kind of mentality. Grow up.

Being one of those guys who do not have common interests like what the other guys often do sometimes made me think that I’m the weirdest among the weirdest but I resort to not give a damn and just survive. Well you only live once right, so why must you put a lot of efforts into something you don’t keen. I believe by taking serious on your interest or talent may give you big impact to your life especially on your future. My hat's off to some Malaysian men whose their names have surged ahead of the market through their impressive and prodigious talents.

Hatta Dolmat

Hatta Dolmat kicked off his career by creating clothes customised for some of our Malaysian celebrities via the Anugerah Bintang Popular Berita Harian competition in 2005. That was the first step that he took before founding his own company

By knowing he started off as a small business to become a household name really impressed me. Swear to god that must take a lot of effort and hard work. I was giving more attention to his designs when he started taking the role to be the fashion designer for my favourite, Yuna, for most events she involved. And she undeniably looks stunning in Hatta’s designs.

What can I say, he has his own style and fashion sense which he expressed his interpretations of fashion through his designs.

Ridduan Ismail

Some of you might get curious of who Ridduan Ismail is but I bet you know who is TTFGA (Tukang Tangkap Foto Gembira Anda) or at least used to hear it somewhere. Ridduan Ismail is a go-to photographer for street style. He has the ability to turn out any object in this world into something beautiful in the form of a photo. Metaphor.

There was also that time he shot Dato Sheila Majid and Bront Palarae, all this while he was still studying. Just wow. His talent is a combination of photography and fashion. By looking at his outfits, there’s no doubt he’s into fashion as well.

You can check out his tumblr page, STYLE SELECTA by TTFGA to see his masterpiece.

I’m actually have some more to list down but allow me to just share these top two (for me) this time. The point is it’s not something peculiar for men to get involved with something uncommon for men and vice versa as long as it’s not go beyond the religion and humanism aspects. Never mock or make fun of someone’s interest. We all have distinctive traits, so do our interests. People might laugh at your effort in the beginning but surely you’ll choose to laugh back at them or not at the end. Good luck.

(photos are from their instagram and tumblr)

Something Insignificant

2015-02-05T12:06:00.000+08:00

I’m currently doing my internship in Hospital Sultan Abdul Halim, Kedah. Before you misunderstand anything, I’m actually taking Diploma of Networking Support (IT) instead of medic. I loved biology but I guess we don’t have so much chemistry to each other so I moved on to IT. Why should we wait for something that’s not fated for us? Maybe we live in that we-accept-the-love-we-think-we-deserve way too much. Okay move on.

Working in the hospital area has realized me lots of things. From the moment you park your car in the early morning to punch your card into the punch card machine in the evening. What can I say, I learn a lot.

Since I started my internship on the 1^st of December 2014 (which will be end on this April where a day feel like a year I swear!) I start to appreciate my health even more. The fact that we always forget how priceless our health is now has utterly opened my eyes. But too bad, in the moment we care so much of our own, we forget about the people around us, especially our loved ones.

I have seen many kinds of illness and pain endured by these patients albeit I’m not the doctor myself. I’m honestly don’t like watching them waiting for their turn to meet the doctor or to take their medicines as they have to wait for their numbers to appear on the screen board. Their faces obviously show how weak they are and for those people who accompany them, I can see the word ‘tedious’ on their foreheads as if written there. I just hope everyone gets to see the doctor as soon as they arrived without having to wait for their turn but that’s just not make sense.

We only start to appreciate our health once we got sick. We tend to do something bad to our health (smoking, eat a lot of junk foods, less exercise) with so many unaffiliated reasons. The point is, let’s live in a healthy way and try to avoid the negative vibes. Never let a thing ruins your day and stresses you out. As I remind this to all of you, I remind this to my own self as well.

Looking for Alaska

2015-01-17T11:34:00.000+08:00

Here’s a little secret about me. I've been a big fan of novel since I was in primary school. While my other friends at my age at that time were busy with their play station, football and crush, there was me spending my time on novel. Unfortunately, as I grew up, my life as a student restricted me to spend more time on reading. Hate it.

My daily itinerary as a student was completely sucked. Went to school till evening, doing tons of homework at night, went to extra classes on weekend and attended myself to co-curriculum activities. I was basically had no time to do something I'm interested in, excluding taking naps.

So as soon as I finished SPM, I started to read novel back. The Fault in our Stars by John Green, which I bought with my own penny. Yes you can tell how bored I am at that time. Plus, everyone complimented how good that novel is so I resorted to buy and read it and judge it on my own. Just thank god my money worth it. You may already experience the story line through the movie but I swear it’s different when you read it from novel.

After finished tfios, I started to buy another John Green’s which is Looking for Alaska. (I think I want to start making a not-so book review but it’s actually not that too book review but still you can consider it as book review).

What can I say about this novel is it has its own strength and just interesting as tfios in a nutshell. Besides, it has some mysterious element which can make you curious about the plot and the characters as well. Not going to write the details of this novel because you can google it by yourself but here’s a short synopsis about this novel.

Miles Halter or "Pudge" as he is referred to throughout the book is the protagonist, and the book starts with Miles leaving Florida to attend a school in Alabama. He's introduced by his roommates to beautiful, mysterious and emotionally confused Alaska Young, and the story progresses, mostly centred on Miles' life at Culver Creek and his growing attachment to Alaska. There are also essential parts of teenage life thrown in casually and skilfully to the story, such as pranks, bets and disastrous parties.

Here are my favorite lines from Looking for Alaska.

“ When adults say, “Teenagers think they are invincible” with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don’t know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail. “

I suggest this novel to those who need something different for their reading and imagination for sure.

2015

2015-01-09T08:39:00.000+08:00

Whenever New Year approaches, I always had that moment where I will sitting alone and think how time flies. The memories throughout the year will occupy in my mind and randomly draw a smile on my face. There are a lot of good memories I made with a bunch of people who always make me happy and keep their patience high towards me and also stay beside me no matter what. Thank you so much.

2014 is not a year for me. I’ve been through ups and downs a lot which realized me how strong I am for not relying on someone.

The hardship on studies just to get a title of a graduate is really driving me crazy. I’ve no idea how people manage to further their studies on the highest level can endure the pain of studying. But I know you got nothing if you keep complaining and hoping for the gold to emerge from where you step. You better move your ass and start struggling for the sake of your future.

2014 is a year where I made a lot of friends. Thinking back on how I be friend with some people sometimes really doesn’t make sense. From the real-world friends to the social site friends. As I made a lot of friends last year I’m also lost some friends. Well people come and go. I just hate the idea of people only looking for you when they need something from you plus whenever they bored like you’re a just a freaking entertainment to them.

I have such a strong support system; my beautiful family, my one and only bff, my annoying friends and even my sleepyhead cats always lighten up my day. To be honest I’m glad I have these people in my life and I’m appreciating a lot for creating good memories with me. I just hope this 2015 can bring more happiness to us inside and outside and always under His care.

Everyone surely make their own resolutions every New Year. My resolution is always the same since I don’t think I can fully achieve it until forever. I want to be a better human being. This includes being a better son, better brother, better friend, better student, better Muslim and better person to everyone I know.

I promise to myself I’ll be much better than me last year. Hopefully.

Happy New Year.

Insecure

2014-12-23T11:02:00.001+08:00

I’m pretty sure we’re all once felt so insecure and had low self-esteem with the way we look or size of our body. I was born with typical Asian look with skinny body and tall height (but still not too tall). My mom was from Penang so I’ve got that gene which makes my eyebrows game so strong (I swear I laugh out loud while typing this).

As a guy I admit I used to feel so insecure with this skinny body. My friends mostly have that kind of body which make them look like someone’s daddy or a bodybuilder and there’s me, who looks like a drug addict (just joking no I’m not).

It’s not like I don’t eat much or I’m on diet. If you know the real me you will know I’m the satan when it comes to food. At first it worried me a bit when I’m always starving all the time like am I a monster or what but then I realized there are lots of people out there who share the same problem with me so yeah it’s normal.

“I eat a lot but still stay skinny” is my cliché answer for anything related to my body. “Just shut up if you don’t have anything nice to ask” is the real answer in my head.

Being skinny is not a license for some people to make fun of us. Our mentality has been set since we were kids that you can’t call fat people ‘fat’ (different story for Fat Amy) but no one teaches that mocking skinny people ‘skinny’ is just same as mocking fat people ‘fat’. Just thank god i don’t care anything people said about me. My “I don’t give a fuck” game strong af.

The point is nobody’s perfect. Just because you’re flawless or you think you’re flawless doesn’t give the right for you to point out other people’s flaw. What comes around goes around. Maybe it’s not hitting you but it’s probably hitting your child. Who knows. Let’s just focus on our life as we’re only live once so the important thing is stay fit and healthy.

Faces

2014-11-18T15:27:00.000+08:00

I take my friendships seriously so once people break my trust I’ll not going to look back. I just hate two-faced people, like seriously hate it. I can’t stand watching them treat me like an angel in front of me but act like a satan, or maybe worse than that, at my back.

It might sounds funny or nonsense or crazy to you but I do have a little respect for those people who talk bad about me in front of me than those people who talk bad at my back. And when I say a little, it’s really a little; little than money in your pocket.

However I don’t look this thing from one side. I mean in this life, whatever you do, regardless you like it or you hate it to the moon and back, there’s must at least one or two benefits you can get to your own self. In this situation, I realized that these fake people actually give some advantages to me.

First:

As I am so good at being food commentator, I am actually also have this secret talent at being good at judging a person’s acting, especially when they lie. I don’t know if it’s only me but looking at how they manage to keep that facial expression straight to me, which really different when they’re at my back really impressed me. Too bad, it’s still lying. So it’s a nope from me (simon cowell’s voice).

Second:

Everyone knows you can’t run from living in stress and frustration once you step your feet into a college life. That’s why I decided to take these people to be my clowns as my daily entertainment, watching them acting akasia in front of me. Well who’s crueller now?

It’s not hard to pretend like you don’t give a fuck about something but for sure you’ll overthink it later. Everyone overthinks at something they try to ignore and forget and that’s how people build their own depression.

I don’t need fake people in my life as it disgusts me a lot to share the same oxygen with them. If you still want to breathe, go make your own fake oxygen.

7 billion people 14 billion faces.

Argument

2014-09-06T01:01:00.000+08:00

As a human, we’re all commit mistake. The difference is how we deal with the mistake we made. Some people easy to reflect themselves once they did wrong while some took ages for them to realize what have they done (and some choose to just ignore it and live their life. Seriously how could you do that?)

What a shame for those people who do bad thing to other people and then put their ego higher so they don’t need to ask for apologize.

I've no idea if I should say I’m lucky enough for having my ‘ability’ for not knowing how to fight or having a stupid argument with people over small matter. I do hate argument which makes someone feels good and on the right side even though they’re not and at the same time people stand behind to support and back up for them. Hell no.

It’s better to have personal talk and ask if you made someone offended and vice versa in a good way rather than reveal someone’s flaw in public.

Just in case you've an argument or fight with someone, please lower down your ego and ask for apologize. There’s no use to show how high your ego or how fucking good you’re to be a winner. You only make yourself look like an idiot. Trust me.

Grow up, be mature. Just remember, the first to apologize is the bravest, the first to forgive is the strongest and the first to forget is the happiest.

Eid Mubarak Part 2

2014-08-12T17:28:00.000+08:00

I’ve never felt so motivated waking up in the early morning except for hari raya. Although it’s quite weird how you suddenly stop waking up for sahur but by looking at all delicious foods in the kitchen realized me that it’s truly the morning of 1^st of Syawal. Hell yeah!

The best feeling is when you put on your baju melayu with sampin and you’ll be like

“The world is my runway get out of my way”

However I can never run from having the thought of how Palestinians celebrate their Eid in such a tough condition. I always want to go there and give a little bit of help especially to the kids (foods, clothes, my old toys, comics, making jokes or whatever that I’m able to help) so that they can forget for a while of what’s going on at their place, in their country.

We Malaysians seriously should feel grateful for the peace we got today. Although some people mock on the quote “Malaysia is still in peace” but I still strongly believe that Malaysia is still in peace. The biggest celebration like hari raya is one method on how to strengthen our relationship by visiting each other and keep our country in peace.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri

Maaf Zahir & Batin

Eid Mubarak Part 1

2014-08-04T21:44:00.000+08:00

To be honest this Aidilfitri was not much exciting like before. Age is probably one of the factors why raya is getting less exciting to most people including me as we’re getting older so we just give the excitement to young people out there I don’t know. However I started to realize that raya is not (just) about collecting duit raya or playing mercun or eating non-stop or taking raya selfie to show off your ootd but it’s more to spending time with your loved ones.

It’s actually weird how I start to think that not getting duit raya as not a big deal because at the end of the day time is worth than everything. I’m so glad I still can spend my time with my whole family. I don’t know why but as I grew up family is always number one in everything. They’re the ones who actually stand behind me so it makes me appreciate my family more and more. So here’s a flying kiss to my family!

Back to hari raya, one thing I love about preparations of hari raya is baking cake. I don’t know why but I love baking (it’s peculiar for a guy like me but who cares). Besides I become addicted to the smell of cake when it’s been baked.

So everytime my mom decided to bake a cake I’ll definitely being her assistant; beat butter and caster sugar, eggs and vanilla essence, mixed the cocoa powder, spoon the mixtures into the pan, baked it in the oven (so yeah basically I was the one who actually made it)

Listening to takbir raya made me feel so calm and emotional at the same time. It will always be the saddest part of the moment. As takbir raya went through my ears, I felt a sense of warmth and happiness. It was like a blend of emotions that is just too strong to explain.

to be continued..

19

2014-06-21T00:24:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I can’t accept myself for growing up too fast, leaving all the fun and the excitement of being a kid. I can’t deny I once had the thought of being so excited to grow up, being an adult, got more money, less problems, got driving licence so I can drive whenever I wanna go, doing whatever I want instead of getting stuck because of the under-18 sign like everywhere on this earth. Unfortunately all of these expectations are kinda suck.

What I expected are so different with what I go through now. Sometimes I just wish that I can go back to the time when I was still a kid and tell him to enjoy the days I was being a kid instead of dreaming to grow up fast.

I wish I can spend more time just enjoy watching ‘hey Arnold!’, just enjoy having problem of which color of crayon should I use, just enjoy talking to my own cat as I didn't have many friends before, just enjoy picking up my favorite ice-cream flavor and put it into the trolley, just enjoy reading comics, just enjoy my own life without listening to some rumors made by some bitches, just enjoy everything. Everything.

However how bad my life can be, I always remember this one quote, ‘life must go on’. The trick is easy--just keep breathing whenever shit happens to you. Just pretend that all bad things that come into your life are something precious that you can’t even buy at the flea market. Something that makes you more mature in life. Yes. Whatever it is, it’s not like all things are suck. I mean not really. But there’re two things that make me stronger since the day I was born till now.

One – you call it tree, you call it backbone, you call it universe. Whatever you call it, it’s family who always stand behind me in everything I do.

Two – I can say that people is like a rain. They come into your life, make some memories and then leave. But I’m glad for those who still stay by my side, especially at my worst, I’m honestly grateful to have friends like you guys.

As a 9 year old boy who got trap in 19 year old body, I always try to give positive vibes towards people around me. I just love making people happy especially because of me. The fact that I often commit mistakes shows how weak I am, still a normal person, just like you. I’m that kind of people who rapidly reflect myself from the mistakes I just did but I can’t lie sometimes I still do the same mistake over and over again and I start to hate myself, even more. To be honest I have that i-feel-bad thought in my head all the time but that’s doesn’t stop me to be good; good person, good son, good brother, good friend as one of my life’s goals is to be a better person tomorrow than I am today by learning from the mistakes of yesterday.

Miju

2014-06-15T16:43:00.000+08:00

Life can be so funny sometimes. A week before my birthday I lost my one and only cat. The only cat I guess understood me so well rather than human (excluding my mom). I’ve never feel so sad like this of my lost cats before but Miju’s death says something about it. I feel like I lost something precious in my life, maybe more than that—it’s like a part of me lost due to his death.

I can say that Miju’s appearance brought a lot of happiness to this house because me as the youngest one in my family is not a kid anymore (I hope) and only bring so much annoyingness to this house. As we moved in here, Miju is the only friend I got here. I’m not that kind of person who easily make new friend at a new place so it’s kinda hard for me to fit in. It sounds nonsense but somehow I felt like he’s my youngest brother. I admit I treat him like a person; i talked to him, fought with him and did prank to him, all because I love him.

Whenever I went back home during weekends, he always seems like waiting for me in front of the door and made me fed him, fondle him. He accompanied my mom whenever she was left alone at home and I felt save every time I was home alone.

But now he’s gone. He’s gone forever.

Destroy

2014-03-20T21:08:00.000+08:00

18th of March and it was the first day of the 8th convocation at PTSS. I swear looking at those seniors wearing their jubah made me go a lil bit excited (no actually i'm insanely excited) to wait for my big day. I can't wait to make my parents proud of me as I'm complaining too much about my studies to my parents even though I'm still in my second semester here. Yes please laugh.

I can say that it's quite hard to survive in diploma because most students are SPM leavers which means they're from school and they're still try to fit in in this college environment. Quiz, test, presentation and final exam.

What's the funniest thing about diploma is you studied hard, not enough sleep, memorized this, memorized that, full class for the whole day, homesick *cough* and after you graduate people will be like

"There's nothing to do with diploma nowadays, even degree doesn't guarantee you a job."

So what's the point of the existence of the diploma if its not worth your sacrifice in studies and you don't get anything from it. At least you should give some moral supports and motivations. I mean more in a good way.

Yes it's really true that there's nothing to do with the diploma nowadays, same goes to degree. But after 3 to 4 years they survived in diploma, you shouldn't destroy their happiness by saying such things, seriously. Plus, there's no way to further studies straight to Phd if you don't go through the diploma first.

Whatever it is, I'm still scared if I couldn't make it for my diploma because it's quite tough and guess, I don't like the course I'm taking.

Okay

2014-03-16T09:58:00.000+08:00

I'm a guy and I was born with a soft heart that makes me easily feel sorry for other people. I don't like say harsh words that make people think that I'm rude and for sure I don't want them to have that thought that my parents bad at shaping me.

I always care for other people's feelings more than you can imagine. I always go with "it's okay, I don't mind" even though I was obviously not okay and I care as hell. Why? Because I don't want to disappointed them. I don't want them to feel not okay for something, so I don't mind if I've to be 'okay' for them.

But I can't deny that some people take advantage for my kindness. I'm okay.

And forever I've to be 'okay'.

Smoker

2014-03-04T19:08:00.000+08:00

I can’t deny the fact that life as a college student really makes you stress and sometimes you feel like you just wanna give up on everything. Assignment, quiz and test sometimes are being your breakfast, lunch and dinner and I still try to get used with that. Problems are like dessert to make your life messier.

However to be honest I can’t deal with this one kind of shit that comes and try to ruin my life here.

SMOKER.

Before you get me wrong, let me tell you I don't hate or avoiding being friend with people who are smoking. No. But seriously have you ever thought about non-smokers around you whenever you smoke on this earth?

Maybe you’ll be like “alaa aku hisap rokok ni bukan aku hembus asap rokok ni kat muka kau pun”

Yes that smoke from your mouth and nose and from that stupid cigarettes was breathe out and fly back to your lubang hidung. Not mine, not people around you.

Not saying you’re not educated (or I can simply say ‘stupid’) but I guess you already knew that people around a smoker manage to get cancer lungs, heart etc. more than a smoker himself. But why still bother to smoke around non-smokers?

Come on please please please respect people who don’t smoking. At least show to people you still have brain instead of showing to people you have invincible lungs. Thanks.

Oh btw I’m not a smoker because I’m not that kind of people who do bad to their body.

Smile

2014-02-10T23:50:00.000+08:00

Last week I went to the supermarket nearby my house. It’s not the famous supermarket so yeah who cares. I went there just to accompany my mom bought some groceries yang memang it took a couple of hours padahal she already wrote all things that she wanted to buy on a small paper but you know, mom.

So after chose and picked all things in the supermarket we straight to the counter and the cashier there was a young lady around 22 to 25. What made me shocked was how she put all stuff into the plastic bags. I mean how she can just throw them into the plastic bags like “hello cik akak kau ingat ni permainan lempar-lempar barang masuk dalam plastic bag ke macam mana?”

Actually I have been through these situations like so many times cumanya sekarang baru nak speak out everything. Same goes to the places that have customer services. I wonder why most of them are being so hard to smile and some are being so rude macam tanya sikit nak melenting. Eh kalau nak melenting baik kerja jaga kandang harimau.

I don’t know if we Malaysians memang jenis macam panas baran sikit maybe influenced by the weather here yang cuacanya ibarat duduk dalam microwave.

It’s not a sin to smile at other people tambah-tambah lagi if you’re working at the section where needs you to smile and meet many people. Just in case you’re having a bad mood, try to control it by force yourself to..… smile and still show your manners at the same time. Yeah that’s the only way how to avoid you from getting fired. Haha just kidding.

No one knows how a smile can change someone’s mood. It’s like whenever you smile, you send positive vibes to other people and they smile back to you and to other people and it repeats and everyone gets the positive vibes don’t you think it’s cool.

So girls if there’re dudes smiling at you, no need to kecoh. It’s not flirt, unless it comes with the asking-your-phone-number package.