I am a pick up artist

NYC Week 8: What is real motivation?

2012-02-28T20:53:00.000-08:00

There were only 2 points in my life where I was so driven that I could completely let go of my ego, survive on barely enough sleep to function, and get more things done in a day than I would usually do in a week.

The first time it happened I was just starting to learn cold approach pickup. It lasted about a year or two.

The second time is now.

The last time it was about picking up girls, but this time it's about career.

I'm in kind of a state of shock.

I went from working 4 hours a week, to 10 hours a day 5 days a week.

The reality is setting in that I have to make it on my own.

It's up to me to make my life what I want it to be.

Sure, my job pays me well, but do I want to spend the best part of the day in the office?

Do I want to spend the best part of each day of the best part of my LIFE in the office?

Do I want to be too tired to go out on dates or lack the energy to even set them up?

Of course not.

Some people argue that this is "real life" and anyone who doesn't think so is just spoiled.

Others argue that what I'm talking about is just a pipe dream.

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful to be where I am.

At the same time, the attitude that got me here is the attitude that is carrying me forward now.

I feel like I'm capable of going much farther than where I'm currently at.

Who would've thought it possible that I would go from having had one girlfriend in my entire life at age 20, to sleeping with a couple hundred by 25?

It is a lesson that we should never stop pushing, even if the goal seems impossible at the time.

In a way, this motivation is like a gift.

It is my opportunity to create another masterpiece.

I'm willing to try anything and everything.

If you're reading this and you think that I'm giving up on pick up, don't fret.

I've been very busy with that as well.

I don't want to say too much right now but if you look up "project entourage" and "Adam Lyons" you might get the gist of it.

One of the themes in my life at the moment is "scalability".

In pick-up: you can approach like a machine but your ratio of success to failures will stay about the same. You'll improve over the years, fine. But you can't reach "rockstar status" like that. How can you go from one new girl a week to a thousand or more in your lifetime?

In my work: you can write algorithms the way they teach you in school, but usually these are just pedagogical examples good for research, prototypes, and proofs of concept. What happens then, when millions of people want to use your application at the same time? Things break. You need to scale. Google did this back in the day when they took a bunch of regular desktop computers, put them in a room together, and made the fastest search engine in the world.

In my career: You get paid "pretty well" for doing the work I do, but what if you want to be in the "1%"? Even if you get promoted every year, you'll never make it to that kind of salary. You need to take a different approach. The man will only give you so much. The rest you have to do for yourself.

Mini update week 7 part 2: street fight!

2012-02-20T23:09:00.000-08:00

Totally forgot to mention this (shit moves fast here, it's almost a distant memory!)

Dude tried to fight me Saturday night at the PUA bar.

I go up to some Asian girl in the PUA bar.

I say, "Hey. Wanna have sex?"

I don't even wait for a response, I just walk away.

Her friends are asking what I said.

All of a sudden I hear this small Asian guy (like 5'7") yelling at me to come back.

He's raging mad.

I'm LOLing.

He's like, "Yo! You wanna fight?" and like, cat-clawing at me.

LOL.

I'm brushing his hands off like I pretend-practice wing chun with my girlfriend.

I say, "fuck you you faggot" and walk away.

It's a really crowded bar, so you're basically always squeezing in between people.

He can't really follow me.

I see the bouncers drag him out of the back door probably an hour later over something else, I guess.

Anyway, this is one bar where the bouncers instantly recognize me and my wing, because he's gone here for a long time and I've been there 4 times in the past 9 days.

So whatever, back to the night.

My wing and another dude we were hanging with went back to his place to leave their jackets.

I stayed behind to finish a beer and talk to some girl outside.

So I'm talking to this girl, and he goes...

"Are you propositioning her for sex too?"

Hahahaha.

I say, "Hey, didn't you just kicked out of the club you little bitch?"

He goes from raging mad to raging fucking demon.

Rushes towards me.

Somewhere deep inside me, I decide that Wing Chun (basically punching until the other guy is maimed) would not be a wise option in front of this club, although that is what my training tells me to do.

Instead, I use judo.

I've practiced since I was 8 years old so it's possibly more deeply ingrained into my memory.

He comes towards me, and like you learn about in judo, you use your opponent's force against them.

So, I throw him over.

I have my knee on him for a second until the bouncer pulls me off.

I apologize profusely (remember, we know these guys and I would absolutely hate to leave a bad impression) and he says it's all good.

Anyway, I hate violence when I'm trying to pick up because to fight you have to basically be in an asexual mindset.

But I now know how guys get into fights.

I was surprised this guy started a fight over something so small.

They're like fuses just waiting for something to set them off.

Dumb shit, don't fight.

Mini update week 7: social conditioning

2012-02-20T18:33:00.000-08:00

One plus about NY:

It is socially acceptable to approach girls on the street here.

People expect that of you.

In fact, it is not socially acceptable to notice a girl and then walk away without talking to her.

That would be weird.

This is the opposite of Toronto, where it is socially unacceptable to talk to strangers anywhere.

NYC Week 7: Refinement, establishing a routine

2012-02-19T21:26:00.000-08:00

Another point form update. No time for full sentences anymore. Except these ones...

In this issue:
- Weekly routine
- Winging
- PUA bar
- Intermediate answer: is Toronto harder than New York for picking up girls?
- How my game has improved since I got here

Weekly routine:
- getting into the groove of things, but still intense
- Mon - Thurs: dates, solo in my neighborhood, although I try to stay away from cops/Times Square
- Fri-Sat: night game, street game Saturday afternoon
- Sun: rest but usually approach a few girls on the street
- online game always (still using my automated message sending program)
- gym 3x/week during lunch break
- todo: get through my reading list during "work breaks" (i.e. I'm still sitting at my computer but losing focus and need to do something else for awhile)

Winging:
- the one thing that kept us from getting better with night game was our indecisiveness about going out
- because my wing is a guy I just met, you kind of don't want to look like a pussy, so it's assumed that we WILL go out Friday and Saturday night, there is just no question about that
- I am loving the fact that it's going to be so consistent, I've always wanted to practice night game a lot but never actually got into it
- I am becoming a MUCH better wing in the club (I used to just do the solo thing)
- I used to be bothered by guys going up to girls and just starting a random conversation the usual "PUA way" - it would always look like "hi, please talk to me as I stand here awkwardly" to me
- what I do now is I don't let that happen, I observe for a bit, then when the friends try to cockblock, I jump in all like, "What the FUCK are you doing? Don't mess this shit up."

PUA bar:
- as in Toronto, NY has its own PUA bar (in Toronto it's the Maddy) where all the bootcamps go
- it's full of guys, chubby girls, and bitchy hot girls, I don't know why we keep going there

Intermediate answer: is Toronto harder than New York for picking up girls?
- this is my "intermediate" answer because I've only been here for 7 weeks, but I feel like my opinion is levelling off
- answer: no, it's the same
- there are bitchy hot girls, there are the "easy ones"
- the one thing I heard about there being so many girls in NY that they're lonely and as a result nice to guys that approach them may or may not be true, still don't know but I'm leaning towards not true
- I heard that models, when they get here, are trained in a class for what to do when they are approached by guys on the street, it's that common here
- I still haven't checked out a lot of areas/bars though
- the one thing that's nice is that there are way more "possible targets" - the time between sets even on the street is very low

How my game has improved since I got here
- my game has improved in subtle ways because of how hard it was to adjust here
- I pussy out less because there is just no time for that shit
- I am way less angry
- I am way more sexual and less aloof right off the bat, even before I say anything, because I know everything that happens here is so anonymous, you're never going to see anyone you meet again
- even if people are watching, you'll never see them again either
- winging, as I mentioned above
- refinement: a lot of what I used to do was "unrefined"
- if you read my articles, one of my main themes is that you SHOULD be unrefined, don't try to be perfect, just get it done
- but sometimes I act like a fucking maniac, and there are times where if I say something refined, it is better than me just shouting whatever comes to mind

NYC Week 6: Guru inspiration and how to find wingmen

2012-02-12T21:30:00.000-08:00

Since many of my previous posts have been me talking about how hard it is to move into NY (which I think was important to give context to the situation), this post will be mostly practical pick-up stuff.

Outline:
1. Upping your learning curve
2. Misc. life improvements that help your game
3. Tyler from RSD + seeing Tyler and crew at the club
4. Wayne Elise a.k.a. Juggler from Charisma Arts
5. Adam Lyons
6. New wingmen

1. Upping your learning curve

Something that happened to me over the years was that I forgot to keep an eye on my learning curve. It's levelled off because part of me thought, "I am good enough". This is evident from my notebooks. I make way less notes than I used to. This is evident from the fact that my approach hadn't changed in over 12 months. Same lines every time. No more field-testing stuff.

In Toronto I became the type of person that was unwilling to face issues and obstacles that kept me from getting better. Here these flaws are becoming much more apparent and I am finally doing something about them.

"Meta-learning", or "learning how to learn" is something I used to talk about a lot. It's so important but guys never understand it, so I stopped talking about it. Take note that it is very fucking important.

2. Misc. life improvements that help your game

Got my gym membership Thursday. Can now start pumping the right chemicals into my brain and getting my T levels up again.
Starting to eat healthy this week, i.e. no more going out for lunch everyday. This also helps fix your chemistry and primes your mind for optimal performance.

3. Tyler from RSD + seeing Tyler and crew at the club

Something Tyler mentioned during his talk is that we go to these talks to get inspired. Not to learn technical things. True for this talk and every other talk I attended this week.

You go for the "big ideas", not to fix small things like, "how can I make numbers more solid?"

Tyler seems to use the free talks to test out his newest and most experimental ideas, which is something I appreciate more than anything else I would have paid to hear.

What I got out of it:

Tyler reminded me how hardcore you can be about game. The guy has gone out every night for years.
I was inspired to be more disciplined. You have to be pretty fucking disciplined to drink weird green vegetable juice everyday, even when you're on the road, and go to the club when you're sick.
Taking responsibility for everything that happens to you. Basically all the points Tyler made, including this one, reminded me that I need a way higher level of self-discipline and I need to be way more hardcore to get my learning curve back up to what it used to be.
I love Tyler's brand of life philosophy because I've thought the same way for years. It's good to have that reinforced. Example: having faith that everything is going to work out for the best, but realizing that it doesn't mean not doing anything and that you still have to take action. You could lose your job and end up travelling the world and discovering a bunch of cool shit, but you still have to take action and get on the plane in the first place.

Seeing Tyler, Julien, and his students at the club made me realize that we are all just guys trying to mack on girls and we're not that different. They don't just zone in on the girl they want and immediately bring her home. You see them dancing, chasing, ejecting and moving on to different girls, just like everyone else.

4. Wayne Elise a.k.a. Juggler from Charisma Arts

Wayne Elise is a conversational master.

His talk was titled "the first 5 minutes" which is what I've always thought was the hardest part of game to master, because it is by nature the most technical, and Wayne talked about how to make it more natural.

A lot of concepts about game come into play even in the first 5 minutes, and we talked about those:

handling groups
being humble instead of trying to prove yourself or "DHV"
disqualifying

Wayne is the only guru I talked to personally this weekend. Let me tell you, it is a strange experience meeting one of your heroes.

I was looking forward to meeting Wayne because his main skill is my main weakness - connecting with people - something that I explicitly cut out of my seductions to make them go faster. He also recently moved to NY by himself (has since left and gotten married) so I was very interested in what he had to say about making the most of Manhattan.

5. Adam Lyons

In typical Adam Lyons fashion Adam Lyons brought his wife and entourage. I didn't know this at the time but I was squashed in the elevator with like 6 or 7 of them. They all seemed super chill and in my mind I'm thinking, "this is fucking weird because usually you see a bunch of awkward guys at these talks, what the hell is going on and why are there hot girls here?"

I'll be honest, during my first 3 years of game, whenever people would ask me who my favourite pick-up artists were, I would always say "Tyler and Juggler", who by some miracle I got to see in the same week and compare/contrast.

Adam Lyons wasn't on that list, not because he isn't good at what he does (he is), but because entourage/meta game, which he became famous for, never really appealed to me.

But the way I game here in NY is a bit different. There is no mall and during the weekday I am at work. I'll do the street on my way to and from places. I might take the "scenic route" but I won't walk around in circles like I did at the mall. So it's mostly clubs and bars. You bring 10 hot girls to the club and you're in. Free bottles.

This is the perfect situation for me because I'm in Times Square. I see groups of bored hot girls all the time. You can't bring native New Yorkers to that shit because they'll be like, "Who the fuck are you? We're going to a dive bar asshole."

That is why I wanted to see Adam Lyons.

He did more of a Q&A format and answered a lot of basic questions guys had (most guys there were beginners) but what I did get out of it is that the man is super observant about body language and such. He notices little quirks and takes note of them. He can lip read from going out to clubs all the time.

Learning how to do entourage game is just like learning any other part of game: try things, fall down, be embarrassed, be observant, learn, and try new things based on what you learned.

What I like about Adam is that he doesn't need to do anything spectacular. He doesn't have spectacular lines, in fact a lot of what he says to girls (at least the stuff he shared today) is pretty lame. But the key is that these things don't need to be spectacular, they just need to have an effect on the girl.

This is in contrast to my own game where I say a lot of ridiculous things. A lot of times the girls don't get it but I think I am pretty fucking hilarious. In a way it is the "self-amusement" that RSD talks about a lot. At the same time, it has the wrong effect on girls because they don't get it.

It's hard on my ego to say something I think is lame, even if it has a positive effect on girls, but the fact that it works tells me I should give it a chance.

I think there is a balance to be made: Do self-amuse, otherwise it is boring. But know when to tone it down and tell people things they need to hear so that you can move the seduction forward.

The best and coolest girls are the ones that do get my ridiculous shit though. Unfortunately they are few and far between.

6. New Wingmen

Something that I think everyone (including myself) expected from me is that I'd put all this shit together overnight. No fucking way. You have no idea.

It's taking little steps consistently that lead to big changes. One of these little steps was linking up with new wings.

First new guy I chilled with is a friend of a friend. Super cool guy, went out both Friday and Saturday. Got so wasted Friday I was still hungover Saturday night.

Met two other guys: one at the Wayne Elise talk and one at the Adam Lyons talk.

Wings are important. They:

get you to go out more.
keep you accountable.
don't let you be a pussy.
occupy cockblocks.
give you different perspectives on game.
identify your weaknesses.

Good times ahead.

Mini update week 5: Intensity

2012-02-10T14:32:00.000-08:00

I'm updating at work because I literally have no time to do shit anymore.

Shit is fucking crazy and I am 110% motivated at this point to change my situation.

I feel like my updates aren't really reflective of what it's like to do what I do and hold down a 10h/day job and move into a new city.

In the words of Tony Horton, every day I bring it.

My sleep time has been reduced to 4-6h/night. That in itself should give you an idea of all the mundane crap I have to get done that I don't bother writing about here.

This shit is intense. When I pick up, which I've rarely done (compared to what I used to do) it's because I FORCE myself to go out. No breaks, no psyching myself up. Just fucking put on your shoes and go because I have to.

And to be perfectly honest that is not what is most important to me right now.

The most important thing right now is making it so I'm not spending 10h/day "working".

If you've never read The 4 Hour Workweek, do.

It totally applies here. The useful work you do probably takes up 2h. The rest of that time is letting thoughts simmer.

I can let thoughts simmer at the gym or while I'm walking around the street picking up.

That would be an efficient use of time.

My other to-do is automate my money-making, but that is proving to require more ingenuity and hard work than I have the energy for at the moment.

On the bright side, one of the biggest obstacles to freeing up my time was setting up my apartment. Now that that is mostly out of the way, I'm going to focus a bit more on my own tech/business.

At the same time, if I can make it to the gym and get some pick up done during the work hours, that would make me exponentially happier.

Not like I'm getting any work done when I'm falling asleep anyway.

Anyway, onto pick up-related stuff.

I'm over the Asian fetish

Not over Asians altogether, but the ones I've been meeting near Times Square are worse than typical Asian girls. Fobby and way too self-important. It's kind of ridiculous that they are, because they're shit.

Mental probability graphs

When I was in Toronto, I knew exactly where to go to pick up.

In NY, I have no idea.

So every area has been assigned a uniform probability of being good/bad in my mind, with large uncertainty.

As time goes on and I become more familiar with my surroundings, some probabilities will go up, some will go down, but uncertainty will decrease.

Any new area you go to pick up, that will be the case.

I'm a nerd so I find this really fucking interesting.

The street at night

More on probabilities. And why Times Square sucks.

Going out into the street at night to pick up girls is a low-probability scenario. If a girl really wants to get laid (and these are the girls you're probably looking for), she'll go to the most socially acceptable place for that, which is a bar/club. She'll get drunk for plausible deniability.

The street can be great, as it was in Toronto for me.

That's if you live near the clubs, and you are meeting girls on the streets that are close to the clubs.

But the further you get away from the clubs, i.e. Times Square, the less chance you have of meeting someone to pick up.

Plus the competition/obstacles: comedy promoters and cops and hoards of ghetto dudes. I think I may have said this last week but it's like 10x worse than Dundas Square.

I also don't think I gave you guys a good idea of just how many cops there are. Think every 3m on every street in the area.

Definitely some kind of anti-terrorist thing.

Americans!

NYC Week 5: Times Square sucks

2012-02-06T20:51:00.000-08:00

I could write so much but in the interest of time I'm going to summarize.

Wish I could say my usual Sunday update is late because I've been having too much fun, but no.

I came here with vacation mentality, but I'm slowly easing my way into real-life mentality.

Getting my apartment set up

- took way longer than expected (i.e. most evenings last week, as opposed to the one night I thought it would take)
- felt like I'd done P90X for the first time all over again
- a few more things to put together/buy but mostly done

Times Square sucks

- I haven't really liked it all this time but I couldn't quite put my finger on the exact reason
- but I realize it is because there is absolutely no privacy in Times Square
- it's a very open space
- there are multiple cops on every corner
- and ghetto ass dudes (the Dundas Square type) promoting comedy shows (I don't know why but this is fucking hilarious to me)
- still annoying though, imagine every day on your way home you are accosted by high school drop outs shouting in your face, "FREE COMEDY SHOW!"
- so either:
- you can't be seen, because it's so crowded that you can barely move
- or you're really easy to see, and anything you do is very visible to anyone just standing around doing nothing (i.e. cops and promoters)
- it's actually very uncomfortable
- outside my window there is some Broadway show that constantly practices "Girls just wanna have fun" and no other song, it's starting to drive me insane
- there are almost no hot girls, the ratio of moms/dads/tourists to hot girls is like 1000:1

Wayne Elise a.k.a. Juggler, Tyler Durden of RSD, and Adam Lyons

- watching them speak, all in the same week, shit you not

Picking up girls

- I met one girl worth talking about this weekend - think I'm going to have to start perusing other neighborhoods - I may make a post about it later because it's a fucking weird story
- soloing in NY is hard because there are no malls
- makes me realize how much I fucking love the Eaton Centre
- I live beside a bar and across from another bar, may be worth soloing
- passed by a sick hotel bar but forgot to take note of the address, now I can't find it. FML.
- the online girls here suck
- Jersey girls are better but they live too far away to want to come here

NYC Week 4: Moving in

2012-01-29T21:20:00.000-08:00

Warning: This post might not sound like it's about girls, but read it until the end, there is a lesson, I promise!

Finally moved into my new place.

If you think living in a hotel was hard, imagine an empty room, an air mattress, and a suitcase full of stuff.

I thought I'd be okay bringing girls home to an air mattress, but even I didn't want to be fucking on that thing.

Thursday I met this Korean red-lipsticked hipster near my hotel and did the usual 5 minute thing. Actually, because my hotel was so close to the main street where I usually met people, it's been more like 3 minute things.

Too much LMR, she kept wanting to go out and drink and shit and I had to move into my new apartment early next morning so I was like fuck this.

Basically spent this entire weekend getting stuff for my new place.

Friday night, figured I wouldn't have enough time to go to IKEA so I went to Target. Target in fucking Harlem. I briefly mentioned Harlem before but it really is everything you think it is. Full ghetto fantabulous, like I'm walking around in a rap video.

Did one approach later for the hell of it on my way to the drug store but nothing amazing.

The gist of the weekend: Saturday IKEA. Sunday IKEA.

It's Sunday just after midnight as I write this, just got back from IKEA, last one in the store.

Doesn't sound like it would be so bad, but imagine everything you own in your apartment. Now imagine it all boxed up and you're pushing it in carts.

The ability to be flexible, positive, and unattached has come in handy.

Context:

I don't get paid until the 31st, had to pay a $6000 deposit for my apartment + first month's rent ($2000), have about $1000 in my Bank of America account, and just over $100 in my TD account (the limit is $100).

Problem with using my Bank of America account is, they never delivered my debit card. I had to wait the full 7-10 "business days" for it to arrive (really almost 3 weeks because of a holiday), then order another one, which I am still waiting for. I could have gone to the bank in person, except for the fact that Bank of America has shit hours and isn't open on Sunday. So my Bank of America money is locked up for the weekend. Bank of America is shit in general. Never use it.

I managed to transfer some money from my Canadian account Saturday, most of which I spent at IKEA. When I go to take out more money on Sunday, the ATM is down. Like every ATM in the city. They are doing some kind of maintenance. I try calling the Canadian bank on my cell phone to do the transfer. Can't hear anything, sounds like I am Google Voicing to China. I hang up. So now I can't access any of my money.

I really don't want to have to sleep on the floor an extra night.

What the fuck am I going to do?

Added to this, I signed up for the wrong plan on my cell phone last month (the one I wanted was online-only), so had to wait it out for a month until I could activate a new SIM card and get the plan I wanted (unlimited data, fuck yes!) The plan basically is to tether through my phone and not even need Internet. Except to sign up for this online plan, I have to actually be online, which is difficult when you don't have Internet. Most Starbucks and McDonalds have free wifi but the trick is finding the ones that actually work. Very time consuming. So I'm trying to get signed up and I realize I need all these random activation codes that I didn't bring with me, so I have to run back home and get those. Now I'm getting this all set up, and finally I have Internet, right? No way! Nothing is that easy. I get a motherfucking error page. The best kind of error page - the ones that tell you something is wrong but not what is actually wrong. I find out the next day after trying a couple more times there is some bug signing up for area-code 212 numbers, so I have a 917 number. I do enough debugging at work, I don't want to be debugging when I'm signing up for a fucking cell phone plan.

Anyway, much time spent trying to get basic things done.

This is where being flexible, positive, and unattached comes into play.

Unattached: My old plan wasn't going to work it. Fuck it, let it go.

Flexible: Don't try to work things out the old way, or try a duct-tape solution. Just go with something new.

Positive: Instead of thinking of all the ways things are going wrong, think about how you can make them right.

These are the same principles I apply to pick up.

My furniture is due to arrive tomorrow night (IKEA's system saved my ass at the checkout and told me I forgot a box that was part of my bed frame - cool huh?) and if I can get it all put together on time I am sure as hell going to pick up tomorrow night and christen my new bed.

Mini update week 3

2012-01-25T20:49:00.000-08:00

The one question I'm sure you're all asking is: "Is New York easier than Toronto? Is Toronto really the hardest place in the world to pick up?"

My answer is: maybe.

I am drunk as a motherfucker right now. Typical Justin adventure. Met some girl on the street earlier, bought a bottle of Jack (they sell beer at the grocery and drug store, but sell liquor in liquor stores, what?), came back to my hotel.

Interestingly enough, this girl and the last girl I brought here were the first and only approaches I did those days.

Today I got home from work and like most days, all I wanted to do was fucking go to sleep.

Shit is that tough.

On the other hand it motivates me to get my own thing going so I don't have to work these ridiculous hours.

Anyway, did some push ups, felt like puking, went to sleep.

I'm sure the nausea has something to do with the fact that I'm eating McDonalds and Burger King and donuts everyday.

Woke up at 10pm, went outside to pick up girls before calling it a day.

Met another Asian girl, says she has a boyfriend, what-fucking-ever like I give a shit.

Huge tits. I'm starting to like this place.

But is it easier.

Don't know yet.

It seems easier.

The fact that I'm bringing them back to my hotel in 5 minutes means I'm getting massive LMR.

At the same time, not everyday you feel like shit and walk outside and do a half ass approach that actually goes somewhere.

In Toronto, at least.

And keep in mind it's a random Wednesday in the middle of January.

I'll let you come to your own conclusions.

But fuck yes the adventures have begun.

NYC Week 3: Signed a lease, Asian love

2012-01-22T14:47:00.000-08:00

Summary

Every time I am about to write the date, I inadvertently start with "2/..."

I've gotten so much done (more out of necessity than by choice) in the past 3 weeks that I feel like more than a month has gone by.

Apartment update: I found a place right by Times Square. Signed the lease and will be moving in on Friday.

Pick-up update: I finally started picking up again. I'm not gonna pretend it wasn't painful. It was. Semi-interesting story to share, but this is just the beginning. Nothing but ridiculousness from here on out. Apparently I still have that Asian fetish.

More about NYC apartment hunting

One phrase you must always remember:

"Bait and switch"

This is a common tactic amongst con artists.

I'm sure some of you who have hung out with me long enough can think of at least one other bait and switch scam we've fallen for. Hahaha!

Ads like this (real ads I pulled from Craigslist):

1br - Cozy**Triple MINT!SunlightFab Finishes*Elev/LaundyDW!!

1br - AMAZING STUDIO IN HIGH RISE BLDG! RENOVATED AND SUNNY

2br - NO FEE! 1 MO OR 2 MO FREE! ALL UTIL FREE! LUXURY 2 & 3 BDRMS!

Are written by scammers.

Scammy people generally have a poor grasp of the English language, like this:

"Spacious living area can be easily converted to a bedroom and still it wil be enough space for living or dining area"

Long email "disclaimers", which include clauses like this:

"The sender believes that this E-mail and any attachments were free of any virus, worm, Trojan horse, and/or malicious code when sent. This message and its attachments could have been infected during transmission. By reading the message and opening any attachments, the recipient accepts full responsibility for taking protective and remedial action about viruses and other defects. The sender's employer is not liable for any loss or damage arising in any way from this message or its attachments."

Basically saying, I may send you a virus. If you open it, ha ha!

Read Yelp reviews. If only I had thought about reading reviews before I started my search. They will essentially confirm your suspicions that a broker you met was a scammer.

NYC Community

So this was kind of a big surprise.

The NYC community is basically non-existent.

There is one guy (I think) who runs various forums under different pseudonyms. Occasionally they'll have events, such as the Brad P presentation on Jan. 3. I was planning to go but had no idea I'd be in the office until 7pm on my first day of work.

I spoke with the guy who ran the forums but mostly I feel like the opportunity to teach and establish a company is up in the air like it was in Toronto.

We all know how great I am about working with others so I think I'll be doing this on my own until I find people awesome enough to bring along and patient enough to put up with my antics.

As a city of mostly young, single professionals I think most people here are just out for themselves. They are smart and driven enough for it.

Random Aside

An interesting social phenomenon happening in NY: the mayor is trying to turn the city into a tech-town ("Silicon Alley"). Money is being put into tech-education and a bunch of software companies (Google included) have established a base here. It is an obvious move to make at this point but a smart one.

People who come to NY come to work in one of three fields: real estate, finance, and now software.

The financial industry has finally shown itself to be a sham.

The technology industry, on the other hand, has shown that it isn't actually evil. It's always been a personal philosophy of mine that as we automate more and more manual labour, people will be free to do what they actually want to do with their time.

Friday: First night on the street

Right after I left work on Friday I immediately felt like approaching. With most of the important "life" stuff out of the way (getting a phone, finding a place) I felt like I could finally put the focus back on pick up. The first thing I wanted to do was get a feel for how things are in different places at different times. One thing I had in Toronto was a mental map of all the places I liked to go and all the places I didn't. I could draw on that map whenever I felt like picking up. In a new place, even if you have a physical map, if you don't have a direction, you are effectively lost.

I came here under the premise that there would always be lone wolves on the street, and that it would be perfectly normal for me to be walking around alone, perusing the streets without a wingman, hitting on one girl after another. Basically my favourite kind of pick-up, all the time.

I wasn't so far off on that assumption.

The problem is, I didn't know exactly where to go.

The first place I tried was where I'm about to move - Times Square. In hindsight, that was probably not a good use of my time because I'll be there permanently come next week. Anyway, I was right last week when I said it would be too crowded and too full of families and couples and tourists. It was very hard to find, much less approach, a single girl.

I ended up walking about 10 blocks south (not that far in Manhattan blocks) and I did one approach. Nothing really notable happened, but decent for not having done anything in 3 weeks.

Random sidenote: I'm loving the McDonalds here in NY. Where else can you get food, coffee, and Internet? They play acoustic music on satellite radio, not that top 40 shit, and they don't have that weird mesquite barbecue sauce for their McNuggets, instead they use real old-school tangy barbecue sauce.

Saturday: More approaches and realizations

On Saturday I woke up and asked myself, "What am I going to do today?"

My answer was, "Oh yeah! I came here to pick up girls."

Friday was dipping my toes into the water. Saturday was practice strokes. I don't feel like I've really gotten back into the groove yet - I can tell because I still can count how many approaches I'd done. Ideally I'd be so into it I'd lose count and not think about it.

At first you have approach anxiety. Then you get pissed because you finally convince yourself to approach but you're so rusty. Then you want to do it more, because you know you can do better.

My first approach was a typical "friendly blowout". Meaning socially it wasn't that weird or awkward, just nothing happened. Second was awkward. Bitch did not say a word. I don't think she spoke English. The next was another friendly blowout. The last was a Korean girl, the only Asian girl I approached that night.

I was on my way home at this point but decided to do this one. She was trying to hail a cab and I talked her into grabbing a beer with me. To be drank in my hotel room, obviously. She was actually way cooler than I thought she would be. Sculptor and painter, teaches art to kids on the weekend. She even tried to make fun of me a few times. The only weird part was when she said "I'll make a deal with you. I'll have sex with you if you'll be my boyfriend." Uhhh what?

Other moments worth noting:
- Before we walk into the hotel, she says, "I have to tell you something". I tell her, "I know what you're going to say and I don't need to hear it". She says it later anyway, "I'll have a drink with you but we're not going to have sex". SAME SHIT ALL OVER THE WORLD.
- At one point when I'm trying to get her clothes off she says, "If all you wanted was sex why didn't you pick up a white girl?" Hahahahahaha.

Lessons

Don't waste time: I only have the late evening - night to get anything pick-up related done. That includes not only picking up but going on dates too. I basically now only have a fraction of the time I used to have to meet girls - late evenings and weekends.

Be friendly: In Toronto I was always on guard. Because I picked up indiscriminately in my early years, so much that I don't recognize 95% of the people I've met, I saw everyone as a potential enemy. In New York, everyone is a potential friend. I was always mean and aloof until I got to know you but having that attitude won't be of any use here because it is way more important right now that I get to know people. This also might mean calling a few girls back, maybe...

Mini Update week 2

2012-01-15T20:31:00.000-08:00

Just got done responding to some stragglers on POF. Some of whom I am kind of disappointed I didn't get to fuck. Who knows though, crazier things have happened.

Browsing on POF reminds me what I've been missing out on.

Passing by people on the street doesn't really do that for me anymore. I'm conditioned to seeing hoards of hot girls walk by me constantly and not approaching because my mind is on something else. I don't even think about it.

That being said, I think I know what my first goal for NYC is:

A hot latina girl.

These don't even exist in Toronto, so I think it is a suitable first goal.

NYC Week 2: Apartment Search

2012-01-15T15:55:00.000-08:00

My apologies, but if you came here to read about me picking up girls like I promised I would write about last week, I have no news for you.

But!

I am going to write about searching for an apartment and how it relates to pick up in my mind.

Some pick up stuff here about neighbourhoods and attitudes and demographics if you're interested in that sort of thing.

I thought looking for a phone was bad, but searching for an apartment has been 10x more work.

If you ever come to live in NYC from Canada, some tips:

- If you have a bank account at TD-Canada Trust, go to the TD bank here. You get free and instantaneous wire transfer. The limit in your checking account is $100. The only caveat is that if you plan on travelling in the US, TD banks are only on the east coast. Bank of America sucks. You'll never have a hard time trying to find a TD bank here. Easier than finding Starbucks.

- If you need a phone quick, just buy one at the store. T-mobile has an awesome monthly pay-as-you-go data plan (I'm paying $30/month + 10 cents per text to Canada). Buy the phone new. Androids are easier to unlock (pay $20 for an unlock code) and it doesn't involve messing around with the firmware like jailbreaking your iPhone does. I basically had the worst luck ever trying to find a phone. Spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to find out how to unlock my iPhone, only to find that the specific configuration I have makes my phone unlockable and there is nothing I can do about it. Both Bell and Apple refuse to unlock the phone, even if that essentially makes my phone an iPod - IMO poor customer service on Apple's part. They both give you the runaround: "We have a contract with the other company, so we can't do it, but maybe you should talk to them". Don't waste time fucking around with people on Craigslist. It's not worth your time to save a few bucks.

More shittiness: The guy from Craigslist I was going to buy from stopped responding to my emails the day I was planning to get the phone from him, and then got back to me the day I got my new phone in the mail. The T-mobile site then started selling that same phone with a $50 gift card the day after I ordered it off Amazon.

I did learn something useful about iPhone locks though. "Factory unlocked" and "carrier locked" are really misnomers. Apple just has a server that stores information about each phone and which carrier it is locked to. When you buy the phone with a contract, you get a locked phone, i.e. a phone that Apple's server knows is locked to the carrier you got it from. If you buy your phone directly from the Apple store for full price, you aren't really getting a "factory unlocked" phone, you're getting a phone that isn't locked. If you do ever plan on unlocking your phone, figure out everything you can about how that works first and whether or not it is possible on your phone (provider, firmware version, serial number, baseband, etc...). Otherwise, you'll just end up bricking your phone. With my phone, I would've ended up fucking up the GPS.

- After a bit more searching, I've confirmed that trying to get groceries in Chinatown/Little Italy really is next to impossible if you normally get home after dark. Don't live here.

- Apartment hunting in general: First of all, try to avoid brokers. Most of them are sleazier than the salespeople at RadioShack. Some brokers are genuinely nice people, but most of them are so obviously snakes that everything they say will automatically be interpreted as "don't listen to me, I'm just trying to con you".

Example: they'll use a fisheye lens to take photos of the unit, as if that would make me think, "wow, it looks so spacious!" versus "are you trying to make yourself look like a con-man?"

If you're like me and you have no experience with this sort of thing, you're going to waste a lot of time at first looking at shitty apartments and dealing with shitty brokers. It doesn't sound like you're saving a lot of time not looking at one apartment, but per day you probably only have time to see three. Even worse: you're likely to only get showings during the daytime, which happens to coincide with the time I'm supposed to be at work.

Even if you search the "no fee" sections of Craigslist and other apartment hunting web sites, you will still end up being shown around by brokers that want to charge you a fee. Usually it is around 15% of the yearly rent, which, if you pay $2000/month (typical) is $3600.

If you can, find a building that you like and ask to speak to management directly (if there is a doorman - but then again, if there is a doorman then the apartment is probably out of your price range), thus avoiding the middle man. I lucked out here and one particular broker was super flaky. If there is anything remotely positive I can say about brokers it is that they seem to be working pretty hard and always show up. But that is probably just because they want to con you. Anyway, the building the flaky broker was going to show me was only 2 doors away from our meeting spot (they almost never tell you the address) so I walked in and talked to the doorlady. The nice doorlady let me upstairs to look at the apartment myself and it was bomb. I am getting my application ready but I don't have my hopes up. I've only seen one other apartment that I really like and would consider living in, but the application process is an even bigger pain in the ass.

(It is a coop, which I've learned comes with a huge non-refundable application fee - $300 - and takes a ridiculous amount of time to get approved by the "coop board" - 3 weeks - and they are super strict - but on the upside the rent is lower.)

90% of the apartments you'll see are shit. No elevator (sometimes you'll even have to walk up to the fifth floor), no laundry, uneven stairs, uneven floors in your unit (i.e. looked like it was built as a high school design and tech project), so small you'll only be able to fit a bed and nothing else.

To save time you generally want to figure things out over the phone and email first. Only go to viewings if the place seems solid. I'd looked at about 10 apartments before I felt like I could look at pictures, read descriptions, talk to brokers, and be able to determine whether or not an apartment was worth looking at or not.

And as full of people as NYC is, the people on Craigslist are still the typical Craigslist type.

Examples:
- Ad is titled "!!!OMG HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THIS AMAZING APARTMENT LUX GUT RENO BLAH BLAH!!!"
- Ad is posted 5 times in a row
- Email transactions look like a 13 year old girl learning how to text
- You ask 3 questions, they answer 1
- Need to ask 3 times to get that question answered

- Now the good stuff... (use Google maps if you don't know your Manhattan neighbourhoods)

Thanks to my adventures in trying to unlock my iPhone, I ended up going to the Apple store in Greenwich village. Greenwich village is FULL of hipsters. I decided that day that I did not want to live there.

The only other boroughs that are in my price range are: Harlem, Upper West Side, Upper East Side, Midtown West, Midtown East, Murray Hill, Gramercy, East Village, and the Lower East Side.

Harlem: Fuck no.

Upper West Side: 3rd cheapest area to live next to Upper East Side and Harlem. I went to see an apartment on a weekday during lunch time. Mothers and babies and grandmas everywhere. I heard from coworkers that frat boys hung out here and thought of the Maddy and U of T. Next.

Upper East Side: 2nd cheapest area to live in after Harlem. I expected another family friendly situation like in the Upper West, but was pleasantly surprised. Could be because I went to see it on a weekday evening, but there were single girls walking around everywhere that looked open to chatting. Reminded me of walking on Dundas or Queen during the evening. I would've went for it because good price + girls can't be beat, but when I went again Saturday afternoon to find a better apartment I was disappointed to find only grandmas/babies/couples everywhere. If I can't pick up by my own house on a Saturday afternoon, that is a problem. The only winning element of the UES is that even the lower cost apartments come with all the fixes: elevator, laundry, modern appliances.

Midtown West: This is where I work. Places here are generally not cheap and if they are, look and smell like shit. Interestingly enough, the place I mentioned above that I am applying for is in this area, literally a few steps from Times Square. In Toronto I really liked meeting tourists. I suppose Times Square could be something like that. Could end up good or bad. On one hand, I could meet a lot of tourists. On the other hand, these tourists could all just be travelling with their families. Plus Times Square constantly looks like Boxing Day. Trying to stop someone would be difficult. I am a bit unsure but hopeful.

Midtown East/Murray Hill: Generally pretty nice but not enough single women. Mostly couples. If you see single women they are most likely cougar aged but lack the sexy cougar vibe. Too far east and it's a long walk to the subway. No good for logistics. Funny story: One of the first apartments I looked at was being shown by a huge (like 7', 350 lb fat Russian dude) that kept talking about "drunk Korean girls" (the place was right outside Koreatown). I suppose if a humongous fat Russian guy can get drunk Korean girls, maybe this is a good area to live after all. Too bad the guy was creepy as fuck and his apartment looked like shit. I was honestly wishing I had brought a knife when I met him. Only Mike Tyson could have punched this guy out.

Gramercy: This is the ideal place for me to live. The rent is not bad and the apartments are average. But you are right by Union Square (which some pick up artists have said is a good place to pick up, and from what I've seen it looks like this is true) and NYU. Gramercy is just north of the East Village/Lower East Side/SoHo which I've heard is where people go out, depending on where you like to go. The bars didn't look bad from what I saw, and you also avoid the hipsters down below.

East Village: I've always read about this being a hipster neighbourhood but from my experience it's nothing compared to the West Village/Greenwich Village. The only problem with East Village is that it is now a popular place to live. For $1900-$2000/month you're getting the very shittiest apartments: walk-up to the fifth floor, mini-fridge with no freezer, uneven stairs/floors, cramped as hell. In a lot of the closets I saw the bars for where you hang your clothes weren't even on straight. I can't believe people pay an exorbitant amount of money to live in places like these. That and the fact that there is still sort of a hipster problem here make it not worth it.

Lower East Side: Kinda ghetto, like when you go too far east on Queen street. Good to go out in apparently, as long as you don't go too far east or south.

One thing I realized as I wrote this is that I should be picking up when I go to visit these boroughs so that I really get a feel for what it's like. I just don't like picking up when there is no motive. I am spending literally all of my energy outside of work (and even some inside of work) trying to find the best place possible. I have no desire to talk to and drink with a girl right now, but we'll see. That is really the only next possible step. Stay tuned!

Addendum:

The brokers I've met are probably the sleaziest of the sleazy because they are the ones listing their apartments as "no fee" when they in fact do charge a fee. The more honest brokers of course will disclose upfront that they charge a fee. That way they are only dealing with people that are willing to pay the fee already - everyone wins. If you do decide to choose a broker-fee apartment, here is a handy little technique you can use to see if it is worth it. Say the most you are willing to spend on a no-fee apartment is $2000.

Yearly, you'd pay 12 x $2000 = $24 000.

If you were to take a broker-fee apartment and the broker's fee is 15% of the yearly rent, then your yearly total for rent R would be:

0.15 x 12 x R + 12 x R

That means:

1.15 x 12 x R < $24 000

Or:

1.15R < $2000, or whatever your maximum is.

So in my case, if the rent for a broker-fee is apartment is less than $1739 (2000/1.15) per month, then it may be worth it, given that the apartment is nice.

And at least I am dealing with less of a skeazebag.

First week in Manhattan

2012-01-08T19:18:00.000-08:00

Brace yourself. Bitchfest approaching.

Most of this post is about general life stuff since I haven't had any time to pick up. If you want to read about me picking up girls check back next week.

I'm a softie deep down:

When I first moved to downtown Toronto for school, it was pure relief.

Living at home was starting to annoy me. My social life was shit.

It was hard at first, not knowing anybody.

But as I met more and more people, and became less and less sheltered, living downtown became epic.

Attachment has this way of creeping up on you.

You hardly notice you are attached to something until it is taken away from you.

Moving to New York, I have come to realize that I am attached to a lot of what I had downtown.

- I knew exactly where to go to find girls
- I had a condo and knew how to work logistics to get girls back to my place easily and quickly
- wingmen were almost always around
- food (I am always eating)
- my family was only a short train ride away, just in case

The difficulty I'm having with this relocation is that it's been way different from the last one.

Before, it was difficult because I just didn't know where to start, but I was emotionally relieved to be moving somewhere more lively.

This time, believe it or not, I became emotionally torn at the thought of leaving everything and everyone behind.

Ironically, I met a girl that I would have loved to see regularly 2 days before leaving. Most of the girls I met this year didn't even make it past first date. A few (as in, 1 or 2) made it past first but didn't make it past second.

But this leads me to a second, more important thought. And that is that being tied down anywhere at all is a shitty situation. Ideally, you can go anywhere you want, be where you want to be, and be with who you want to be with. I suppose that is my ultimate goal out of all of this. Moving here wasn't just to find a better place to pick up girls, it was to gain the skills I need to be free of attachment of all kinds, financial, emotional or otherwise.

Work:

People here have this start-up mentality, even the non-engineers. They are extremely passionate. Pulling 10 hours a day (50 hours/week) is normal for them. That may not sound like a big departure from the regular 9-5, but believe me, 9-7 is twice as hard, especially when everyone stays that long and leaving any earlier feels really weird.

It is to the point where I'm getting less than 6 hours of sleep a night, and trying to do simple things like finding a new phone take me the whole week because I need to sleep and can't spend the whole night sitting there browsing on slow-ass hotel Internet.

There is a HUGE difference between going to sleep when you feel tired, which for me usually happens around 6 or 7 am, and forcing yourself to sleep because you know you'll have to wake up at 8 am and you're already sleep deprived.

Maybe having not had a "real job" for over 3 years now has something to do with that.

It gets harder:

Things you take for granted all of a sudden become important in situations like this. I haven't even had a chance to pick-up (although I have thought about it). Simple things like paying for stuff with your credit/debit card turn into constantly fumbling around with cash. Simple things like getting a credit/debit card become hard because you have no address and when you call to get one the phone lines are closed because it's too late at night.

I'm by Chinatown and finding food is surprisingly hard compared to Toronto. If you know me you know why this is significant, because you probably have to watch me eat pretty often. Aside from McDonalds, which is 24-hour (they limit the menu after 11pm - fuck that!), most restaurants close before 9/10pm. By midnight, everything except McDonalds is closed. And if you run out of cash you have to use the ATM, which I can't do because I don't yet have a debit card. Hmm.

I could just go to McDonalds and use my Canadian cards of course. Too bad I'm already sick of McDonalds.

Moving along:

On a brighter note, today I am dressed like I would be at the beginning of May in Toronto. 15 degrees here, 3 in Toronto (in Canadian units - I still have no concept of the fahrenheit scale). If only I hadn't spent all day trying to buy a phone...

Hopefully going to get the phone thing sorted out this weekend. Once I have that I can start picking up/looking for a place.

One of my favourite things back home is the 3-piece chicken and a biscuit at Popeye's. In Toronto it's $5.65 with tax. In NYC it's fucking $3.80 with tax. AND the nice lady gave me mashed potatoes and mac & cheese for free.

Can't beat that.

The best pizza I've found yet was in a 7-11. Am I doing this wrong?

The girls:

What they say is true. Pretty much every girl you see is hot.

I can tell by the way they make eye contact that they are not crazy bitches like Toronto girls.

Can't wait to get my feet wet.

Justin meets a hipster

2011-12-19T22:44:00.001-08:00

uh, ok there "militant vegan bitch"/hipster/gender aficionado/pretentious bicycle owner.

go buy yourself a nice pair of genie pants so you can make yourself feel different yet curiously the same and while you're at it tell the people at american apparel their music sucks.

i didn't read your profile till now, but i'm glad i did because your embodiment of typical annoying hipster feminist makes me feel that much better about sharing my misogyny with the world everyday.

Captain Planet villian vs. Rob Ford

2011-12-04T15:07:00.001-08:00

Automation

2011-11-15T23:15:00.001-08:00

I always believed automation is the future.

Ever since the first "tool", machines have been doing things for us that we would have otherwise had to do manually.

I think it is silly for people to oppose technology and blame it for stealing their jobs.

It's not technology's "fault" that it evolved and can do in milliseconds what would take you a few minutes or longer.

If you fail to evolve and adapt, it's your fault.

Anyway, just my opinion.

I have been automating things in my own life lately.

I was inspired by a buddy of mine who uses macros to do his Internet dating for him. It records your mouse movements and key presses and plays them back, so you can just hit "play" and copy and paste the same message to every girl in your list of people to message.

But I took it one step further.

I find using macros clumsy because it requires you to put everything precisely in the same spot on your screen (otherwise the previous mouse movement might take you to the wrong thing).

Instead, I wrote a program to do all my messaging for me.

Now, I can hit "play", give my program a list of URLs, a list of messages to paste, and a list of girls I've messaged already (so that I don't re-message the same girl twice), and it does everything for me. I don't have to wait for the mouse to move or for buttons to be pressed. It's all in code. The list of girls I've messaged gets updated at the end of the program.

I literally run the program, go take a shower or go outside and hang out, and in the meantime I am getting responses to messages that I didn't even send!

How fucking cool.

Epic cockblock

2011-10-30T06:11:00.001-07:00

This is a story about the most epic cockblocking effort I have ever had to endure to date.

Starts out with girl (just a friend, a.k.a. friend-girl) inviting me to go Halloween clubbing with some of her friends.

She tells me she is bringing "another hot friend" (last week during her birthday I "hit on" another one of her friends, let's call her... other-hot-friend).

Predrink at her place: me, my wingman, friend-girl, hot-girl. Also: neighbour and neighbour's friend, who went to a different club but drank with us for awhile. Not that important but they enter the story later.

Neighbour and his friend leave. Friend-girl and hot-girl go to other-hot-friend's place to get a ride to the club from other-hot-friend's bitch/nerdy dude friend.

In the club, I decide that wingman and I should ignore the girls we came with, go for random club girls, and return to our friend-girls only if necessary. Plus, I don't want other-hot-friend to think I'm following her around.

Fast forward to around last call. I find hot-girl. Make out. Quickly take her home.

Now this is where things get interesting.

So hot-girl and I are getting heated, and BAM - friend-girl calls both of our phones non-stop for at least 20 minutes.

I put my phone on silent and don't respond to any of friend-girl's texts, but hot-girl left her's on and at first ignored the calls, but after realizing that they weren't going to stop, finally answered.

Hot-girl LIES for me and says she is on her way home. Tells friend-girl she made it to her lobby.

Friend-girl isn't buying it. She wants proof! She insists that hot-girl come over.

"You can tell me the truth. If you're at Justin's just tell me." she says.

Hot-girl starts to feel bad and wants to go, so we go.

When we get back to friend-girl's apartment, only her and a random Korean dude she picked up at the club are there.

What the fuck.

They could be fucking. We could be fucking.

She would rather cockblock EVERYBODY than have her friend and I hook up.

She then proceeds to invite FOUR MORE GUYS to her apartment.

The neighbour and his friend from earlier, and 2 random dude friends that she JUST MET last week.

Anything to stop me.

So we're all talking.

General chit-chat, more drinking, me fondling hot-girl in various ways, and friend-girl trying to talk as much trash about me as possible, to anyone who will listen.

"Justin's such a nerd."
"What do you see in him?"
"This is so gross."

My responses.

"You're mad because I'm smarter than you."

"Everybody in this room is smarter than you." (most of us turned out to be engineers, she is in med school)

"There's nothing going on between us. What are you talking about?" (I thought this was a funny thing to say while grabbing hot-girl's ass)

"Go fuck yourself."

This quickly escalated to her screaming at me to get out of her house, which I never did.

Also, even being there is very hard because I am allergic to her stupid cat.

It was raining bullets and grenades on me.

I whisper to hot-girl, "Do you want to leave?" She says yes.

So we're about to go.

Friend-girl physically FORCES hot-girl to stay. Grabs her by the hand and pulls her back. "Why don't you stay?"

Obviously, nothing she could have said at that moment would be more convincing than that.

This entire time, I'm telling Korean-dude that we're in this together.

I make the case (very publicly, mostly directed at friend-girl) that she and Korean-dude could be hooking up right now, but aren't because we're all there.

I say I feel bad for him because he came all this way and they aren't even banging.

Friend-girl actually looks pretty fucking ridiculous.

I'm explaining to the four other random guys that instead of win-win (where both us couples get laid), she would prefer lose-lose (where no one gets laid and everyone goes home).

Fucking ridiculous.

Friend-girl's tactics aren't working, so she starts playing EVEN DIRTIER.

Takes hot-girl into her bedroom, to talk in "private".

I find out later that basically she is telling hot-girl I'm a "man whore" (her words), that I hit on tons of girls, and that I hit on other-hot-friend last week.

I estimate that this cycle maybe happened three times over the course of 2 hours:
- We're all chatting, I'm feeling up hot-girl
- Friend-girl starts acting up/being loud and abusive
- I ask hot-girl if she wants to leave, she says yes
- Friend-girl physically forces her back, then takes her to the bedroom to explain what a "man-whore" I am

Friend-girl makes it very explicit that she does not want hot-girl and I leaving together, or even at the same time, which, in my opinion, made her look fucking stupid.

Eventually, neighbour and his friend leave.

Then the other 2 guys leave, leaving only me, Korean-dude, hot-girl, and friend-girl again.

Surprisingly, I had to explicitly explain to the last 2 random guys what was actually going on. I guess they are engineers (i.e. clueless with women by nature), after all.

After yet another private bedroom talk, I am getting fed up. Korean guy is already near, so we both walk in.

I sit beside hot-girl on the bed. Start fondling her again.

Friend-girl says, "Why don't you just make out with her then!"

SO I FUCKING DO.

Friend-girl not pleased.

There is a little bit of interrogation about me "hitting on" other-hot-friend, and I try my best to make it seem casual.

That's about all I can remember right now about the epic cockblocking that went on tonight.

And how does this story end?

Only Justin knows!

Hopefully friend-girl got laid and released a little bit of that tension.

Fan Expo is a cash grab, still lame

2011-08-29T10:44:00.001-07:00

Fan Expo is a convention geared towards fans of comics, sci-fi, horror, anime, and gaming.

Conventions are usually great for meeting women, because they bring together people with somewhat unconventional interests, i.e. nerds.

Don't be fooled though.

While there are a lot of the stereotypical nerd types around, there are also really attractive nerds with great personalities.

Fan Expo used to be good (2007-2009).

It's been lame for the past 2 years (2010, 2011).

What it comes down to is logistics.

The venue where the event is held, the Metro Toronto Convention Centre, is separated into 2 spaces, the north building and the south building.

The south building is where it's at.

There are large open spaces for chilling and sitting around and being lazy. This is ideal if you want to meet people.

In 2010, Fan Expo was held in the north building. It was cramped, went over-capacity, and there were really no suitable places to meet people. Customers who had already paid their admission were kicked out (or so I've heard). It wasn't just lame for those who were there to meet people, it was lame for everyone.

In 2011, the event was moved back into the south building. Unfortunately, all those open spaces where people used to hang out were now fenced off. So you had to pay $40 if you wanted to just hang around on a Saturday. Even if just on a field of grass or on the perimeter of the venue.

This would inevitably require MORE security, since they had to cordon off a larger area, but Fan Expo is generally known for pulling DUMB SHIT like this.

There were a lot of other problems with the way the even was run, that you could probably read about if you did a search, but here I'm only concerned about the logistics and factors that would be of interest to someone reading my site.

All in all, fuck Fan Expo.

Pursuing happiness over sex

2011-08-16T01:43:00.000-07:00

Just got back from Montreal last night.

It was nice to get away from Toronto for awhile, and sort of refresh my mind - after having been in a fight and passing my defence, among other things.

In many ways, things like going to Montreal for the weekend are akin to "tournaments", whereas the everyday hustle is more like "training", as my friend Artisan likes to say. This weekend was a very good example of that.

I basically went ape-shit in Montreal, like I usually do. Drunk and high out of my mind 3 nights in a row. Hit on 20 hot lesbians before finding someone straight (it was gay pride, the friends I went with are gay), and brought the same vibe and energy to every interaction.

Back in the day, I'd used to get into awkward conversations, because I didn't know what to say or whatever and I felt self-conscious. This doesn't happen so much anymore, because I am comfortable in my own skin, and comfortable with pauses and silence. Now I like to shoot the shit and share laughs with people. I like to have fun and be happy, and I like when others are too. So I've come a long way, but there are still new places to go.

When one enters the game, he wishes to get laid. A side-goal might be improving his social skills, but let's face it, you're in this because you want pussy. That is a reality. No straight healthy male wants otherwise, and if he says he does, he is lying.

That's why building social circles doesn't really work unless you have some amount of experience to support it. You can't work on making friends when what you really want is pussy. That is fake. I remember meeting a girl way back when I started and trying to be her friend without having sex with her. She let me stay over one night after a party, and we slept beside each other. I didn't try to fuck her. She never talked to me again. Over the years, I've learnt what that means to girls: rejection.

Fucking was simultaneously the end goal of meeting a girl and a requirement for keeping her around.

I still believe girls find not trying to have sex with them OFFENSIVE.

It's a vital ingredient for the well-being of both men and women.

But I'm going to go out on a limb and say that I had TOO much sex this weekend.

To be more accurate, I had the wrong kind of sex.

The sex that doesn't mean anything. The sex you have with someone you're not even attracted to. I would go so far as to say I found 2 of them quite UN-attractive.

Why did I bother then?

Because I've been caught up in the numbers.

It is easy to say that numbers don't matter, when you've been with 500 women. It is hard to say numbers don't matter, when you've been with 5 women and the people you idolize have been with 500 women.

Somewhere along the line, you realize it doesn't matter.

Hopefully you realize this sooner rather than later, otherwise you put your health on the line (in various ways) and you are essentially a SLAVE to the game. You watch your life pass you by as you work towards a goal with no meaning.

I won't say exactly where I'm at just in case someone I know reads this, but after way too much time I am finally beginning to realize what is important.

In a way that you can't fake.

I used to try to force myself to believe that numbers didn't matter; that having sex with as many women as possible wasn't the epitome of awesomeness.

But you can't force yourself to realize something like that. You have to experience it not as a fact, but as an emotion.

Somehow, it's always the girls I DON'T have sex with that change my mind about things.

The reason I have so many one night stands is not because I refuse to call girls back or I don't care or I want to be some kind of uber player, it is simply because I am not attracted to them and we didn't connect.

When I first developed my 5-minute pull, I made a point that the most important part was SKIPPING the connection phase of the interaction.

This was an important realization, because not all girls want a connection, and trying to create a connection will just scare them away or make them think you're lame.

At the same time, it took away from the quality of my interactions.

I talked about a few "crushes" I had last winter, I think. That was the first time I realized having connections was important to me.

Not important in the sense that it makes for "solid game", but important TO ME.

I liked that feeling.

I liked meeting girls who could offer MORE than just sex.

Unfortunately, with summer approaching I decided to say "FUCK IT", and return to my old ways.

This summer, while I've been picking up a lot, I've also been doing less "solo" pick-up and more "hanging out". The problem is getting laid was always on the back of my mind, and I could never really relax.

Sex doesn't matter if it's not making me happy.

Girls don't matter if I don't connect with them.

It would be cliche I think to say I've grown older and wiser, but shit, I really feel older and wiser.

If you read this journal, you'll notice that this is a lot like the realization I had last year around the same time. In fact, it is almost identical.

I never actually ended up hooking up with that girl.

The whole thing made me soft and we grew apart.

Then I hardened up again and met a bunch of new girls, which led to realizations I'd already realized.

Lesson learned.

This isn't me getting soft.

I want to take it to the next level.

My main focus now is on fun and being happy. Of course I am not going to outright reject sex or purposely NOT pursue it. I've made that mistake before, and it just leads me to where I am now. You have to know yourself and be honest about what you need and want. It's still "make the ho say no". Just that now, creating good vibes and genuine connections with girls is what is important to me, and only hooking up with girls that I actually care to hook up with.

Disclaimer: I am still down for one night stands and casual relationships, obviously, but I am definitely not going to spend time with people that do not bring happiness and good vibes into my life.

Just have a good time

2010-09-06T23:45:00.000-07:00

For the first time in a long time, I didn't just do my take-you-home-and-bang-you-in-15-minutes-routine.

I've been having some anger issues as of late.

I've written at length about this before so I don't want to go into it here, but basically I've gotten comfortable with being good with women. I completely expect to get laid often.

So much so, that I'm forgetting the original beliefs and attitudes that led me to where I am now.

ie. No expectations.

I hung out with an ex/good friend recently, and she reminded me that life is just about having a good time.

I love this girl because she is always so happy and perky, always excited about the next thing she's going to do.

She is passionate about life.

And I realized... I am taking this seduction stuff WAY too seriously.

I got way too caught up in my ego.

I thought I HAD to be good with women.

I made it my fucking IDENTITY.

When you first start out, assuming that you're good with women as an identity is a good thing. It helps you sort out some of your inner issues by repeatedly hammering in ideas that are essentially the opposite of what you previously believed. ie. You think you're unattractive, so you just keep telling yourself that women think you're really attractive. Like a fake it till you make it sort of thing.

But as you learn and grow, so does your ego.

Once you become good, there are STAKES. You no longer have nothing to lose. It makes you needy.

Now you put your identity in danger. Everything you've worked so hard for.

Now it is time to let go.

You've made it.

JUST HAVE A GOOD TIME.

Relax.

Don't worry.

Be happy.

There are so many girls out there!

So anyway, I meet this girl about a week after hanging with my ex.

She is really fucking cool, so I try to take her home for some hot sex.

She isn't down.

I try again later. She still isn't down.

A lot of guys take this kind of thing personally. Like they've done something wrong or messed up really bad.

It is quite possible that something happened to this girl in the past, that makes her weary of men and certain situations.

We ended up spending HOURS together. Longer than I have waited for sex, in a long time.

She had plans and flaked to hang out with me.

We kissed and it was awesome.

We had so much to talk about.

I looked like shit, all sweaty and gross and flat-haired. She didn't seem to care much.

It was like spiritual healing to me.

It did more for me than random quick sex ever could have.

I think her NOT giving me the satisfaction of getting into her pants was the best thing that could've happened that night, because it made me realize how important just having a good time and being happy for the sake of it, really is.

Due to my little bit of skill with picking up women, I've been caught in this cycle where I'd first get really mad, then get really horny, then get sex, and then just get mad again. The sex just kind of justified the whole process.

Let this be a lesson to you guys.

A New Record

2008-05-08T23:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday on my work break, I approached a girl on the street. Said hi, bantered, qualified.

She started to ask me about myself.

I noticed she also said a lot of random weird shit. I like random weird shit.

She was very pretty. She was actually looking for a modeling agency.

Something about her personality, something about the situation... set off the alarm bells in my head. The intuition I've gained as a result of having fucked up situations like this in the past.

I can take this girl home now. Right now. I can get back to work a little late from my break, it doesn't matter.

I realized this girl wouldn't just come to my place for no reason. Then I rememberd I ran into an old scout at Eatons the other day, and she gave me her modeling agency's card again. I remember it lying on my desk. YES!

I told the girl I didn't want it as I wasn't planning on getting into modeling anytime soon, so I could give it to her. We go.

She drops her bag, goes to the washroom. We chat for a bit, then I grab her. We make out. She pulls back.

I give her the animal eyes. It turns her on. I get further. She pulls back again.

Wall slam. Fingering. She gets so turned on there is no more resistance.

Take her to the bedroom and ravage her quickly, as I have to get back to work soon.

Something strange and yet at the same time cool about the girl was that she kept calling me a "wizard". Like she thought I was magic or something.

As we left, she goes "Wowww. I just got laid."

Hahaha.

This is a new personal record for me, not that I'm into making or breaking records, just something to note, that this all went down in around 15-20 minutes from meeting her to getting to my place and getting it on.

I am so going on break today.

Lessons learned:
- Go on break, break is good.
- Always be aware of and have control over logistics.
- Go with the flow, fuck with the structure.

Girls with boyfriends

2008-04-16T17:59:00.000-07:00

Girls with boyfriends:
- Still working on it. Funny how when you're really used to coming back with something, how hard it is to stop saying that. You have to be really conscious about it. Nonetheless, I managed to break through that barrier last week and I think I now know the key.

Social circles:
- Sort of, not really. I hung out with M* and her hot friend last night. My PM commented about my looking pale this morning. Haha. Oh well. All that drinking can do that to you. I want to hook up with the hot friend, K*. We flirted a bit last night, and the fact that M* kept trying to make out with me was making K* uncomfortable, so I stopped her many times. (Tried to call Artisan hoping he was still on campus, I think he would've liked K*.) This all caused M* to get insanely jealous. Anyway, some kinky things went on and it was a good night.

Dance:
- I finally located my breakdancing videos. My goal is to work on at least one of them this week.

Calling girls back:
- I've got a good strategy worked out. It is paying off.

Tattoo:
- Still trying to finish my first draft.

Quality control:
- Progressing.

Voice:
- Coming along nicely.

Still need to work on:
- consistency
- wing chun
- being more outgoing with my coworkers (I've been alright..)
- business
- band/music
- SOCIAL CIRCLE!

A conversation

2008-04-12T23:47:00.000-07:00

says:
random question
says:
would you do it with a girl
*says:
yep
*says:
with a girl...hmmmm depends on a girl
says:
hmmm... blonde... hot...
says:
russian
*says:
your girl
says:
nono
says:
A girl
*says:
sure ... maybe y'd u ask
says:
cuz.. i know one
*says:
and
says:
was wondering if you'd do anything with her
*says:
prolly i would
says:
you are so sexy i love it

A scare

2008-04-06T23:48:00.000-07:00

Her: I just thought I'd tell you, I don't go all the way on the first date.
Me: (Like I haven't heard that before) Okay. How far are you willing to go?
Her: Pants up.
Me: Okay.

...

In the bedroom.

...

Me: I want to fuck you.
Her: I'll make you a deal.
Me: Okay.
Her: We'll go up to the underwear.
Me: Okay.

...

Me: I want to fuck you.
Her: I didn't want to tell you this on the first date...
Me: What?
Her: I have a problem...
Me: (SHIT!) Uhhh. What do you have?
Her: Oh! No! No! I don't have anything. I'm on my period.
Me: I don't care.

Phew!

Cougars

2008-04-06T17:55:00.000-07:00

It's getting warmer, which means I can go outside without shaking and actually talk to people instead of feeling like there is ice forming in my throat.

Goals update: my first voice lesson is tomorrow.

Haircut from hell: The haircut I got this week was the first haircut I've gotten in the past couple years that wasn't done by me or a girlfriend. Now I remember why. Most hairstylists can't follow instructions. It sucked so bad I felt like walking home on the side streets. Of course, since it's too short, there's not much I can do, so I'm going to have to live with this until it grows back. Picking up with hair I hate made me realize looks don't matter. It's attitude that makes the difference.

Friday: Instant date. It went so super awesome. She was sexy as hell. And then she dropped the bomb. Our age difference was a problem for her. I'm 22 and she's 30. "So?" I said. I didn't really get a straight answer except that she didn't feel like it could work out. But I gained some insight later that night...

Friday night: My gay friend called me to go out to some gay club. Holy shit. ONE girl worth hitting on in the entire club. 3 girls in total. My gay friend does a GREAT job of cockblocking me accidentally, because he has zero game. He brings me over to the girl and we end up lurking. I recover. I always open the same in gay clubs, and it's pretty consistent. So me and the girl are getting to it. Problems: I'm 22, she's 37. HOT for a 37 year old. She kept saying "you're just going to leave me for some young model". Abandonment is an issue, especially when you're a young guy and the woman is nearing the end of her reproductive years. She also kept bringing up the fact that I was too smooth, and that I was a player. When this happens, it's usually time for me to get serious, time to stop "gaming", and switch up the emotions a bit. Escalating was a bitch, but eventually we found ourselves in an empty room out of sight of everyone. Her skin was so smooth and sexy. Mmmmmm.

Saturday: Ran into an old hook up. She ended up dragging me to some hardcore rock show. I enjoyed it. Rock shows are very different from clubs and bars. Something I might want to get used to though. Also reminded me how much I want to be on stage.

I was going to go to the Guv afterwards, but decided to say fuck it. I'll save it for a warmer day.

On giving people your time: This is probably not something I can explain very quickly and concisely, but I will try. I would LOVE to keep in contact with previous hook ups and become friends. That's what I WANT out of this. A network. Somehow I end up letting the friendship die out most of the time. The solution seems simple: just continue to hang out with them. But how? I love picking up and finding new girls. I ran into a recent hook up at the gym today, and she texted me later to ask me what I was doing tonight. I told her I was busy. Another recent hook up offered me pancakes. I told her I was busy too.

I love the thrill of picking up but I am starting to realize the unhealthy lifestyle stemming from this. The problem is monotony. I pick up the same way every time. In my mind, the only clear way to fuck a girl is to approach, date, bring home, fuck. But this is not the way reality works, obviously.

There is another way to get laid: social circles. The problem with the girls I've hooked up with is that they see me as "that guy". When they see me, they want me ALONE, and they want SEX. That's my role. What it comes down to is honesty. I've got to tell the girls ASAP after sex that I'm not looking for anything, I want you as a friend.