I am Elena

I kissed a girl...

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 11:23:00 +0000

Wow. Erm. Yeah, like wow.

RIP The L Word Season 6

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 12:28:00 +0000

Did you all say to yourself: what happened? Was this just a nightmare?

The only two good scenes that I can think of in the last eight episodes of the L Word:

Thank you, for your laughter, girls. We could have used a bit more of it in the past weeks.

The L Word / S 6: the end?

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 01:16:00 +0000

The ladies at tibette.com are all agog over these screenshots, taken from the last ever episode of the L Word. Could it be that Ilene actually decided to listen to the fanbase? My gawd, miracles never cease. Well, let me be clear on this: until that last final credit of the L Word has rolled over my screen, I won't believe it. Anyone who can write a baby shower scene such as the one that awaits us in the next episode cannot ever be believable.

In the meantime, feast thine eyes...

The L Word / S6 on a side note

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 04:13:00 +0000

This clip has been circulating on the net for the last couple of weeks...

There is one little thing that I find so sexy about this dance: 00:45 seconds is where it happens.

Just pondering the fact that these two actresses, neither of whom is gay, manage to dance like they are a couple... to one of my favourite songs too.

The L Word / S 6

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 03:50:00 +0000

Like many of you, I have been watching the last four episodes of the L Word's season six, and have also caught up with the many spoilers online (just head on over to the 'boobtube' to get a glimpse of what awaits us, poor viewers).

Let me start by saying that I have been watching since season 1, that I haven't missed a single episode and that I will be watching the last four episodes, which will bring this run to a close.

In all fairness, I have to credit Ilene Chaiken for managing to develop this series, for pitching the idea and pushing it through with Showtime. The fact that a series was created, which focused entirely on women, who lived with and loved women, was a groundbreaking achievement. And we all probably hoped that it would be a series that represented us, as we all live and love. As with Queer As Folk, which tried to to depict gay men and their scene (which, in many ways, was spot on), the L Word promised that it would tell our story.

There have been highs and lows, and I think that we can all agree that every series has its good and its bad moments. Season six, however, has reminded me of someone scratching their nails on a blackboard. The dissonant notes, the complete lack of continuity, the jumps in this script, the inconsistencies and the general lack of direction have made me want to alternately rip out my hair in frustration or scratch out my eyes.

Seriously, Ilene, WTF were you thinking? Even if this is some kind of Sunset Boulevard inspired take on this series, how do you expect to bring six seasons to a close, in four episodes (of which at least one centres on a baby shower and another on the lesbian version of 'Dancing with the Stars')? We all know that this is working up to a whodunnit, with Xena as the police officer in charge, but already we have been told that we will not know the answer to the question. Well, why ask it in the first place then?

At this point, I find myself wondering what the current season and its dysfunctional characters have to do with our lives, with our stories? Yes, I know there have been cases of transsexuals who have had babies (we all do read the newspapers), and yes, I do feel that Daniela Sea is actually managing to work her way through the material quite reasonably, but c'mon, how much more shit can you heap on her character. The same applies to every other character: Kit drinking wine as a recovering alcoholic, Bette trying to fire Jodi, Shane sleeping with Jenny, etc.

All I can think of is that some writer basically took a catalogue of little horrors, that happened to herself, or that she read about in the Globe and Mail, and somehow tried to stuff them all in eight episodes' of a monstrously bad Mexican soap. Albeit with lesbian characters.

Even if Tina and Bette ride off towards the horizon in unity with another baby on their laps, all I can say is that I stopped caring a long time ago. So, yes, to wrap this rant up, I will suffer through another four Sundays of this crap, with the requisite amount of Cointreaupolitans to help get me into a rapid state of inebriation so that I can giggle at the freak show as it unfolds in front of my eyes.... but Ilene, I just want to state for the record that at no time over the past six seasons did you ever tell my story....

Why blog about the L Word when you can look at this?

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 21:02:00 +0000

Oh my, I have always worshipped at the altar of Helena, but the following set of photos, taken by photog Solve Sundsbo of the 41-year old Danish model are... well, jaw-dropping. Thank you, magazine editors, for thinking up this spread. It's like Christmas and New Year all at once ;-)

You likey too?

Madonna!

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 08:47:00 +0000

While I do admire all the work and money that has gone into creating this creature, Madonna never has been one for the less is more approach. I have somewhat mixed feelings about this picture, as you can tell.

The first one shows off a banging bod, and I wish I could say the same, although I draw the line at a certain point. Curves and softness are infinitely more attractive to me than sinewy tautness.

But the second one is a little scary, to be honest.

What do you think?

Only 7 days till the all new L Word

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 22:15:00 +0000

Only seven days separate us from the last tortured twitches of the Chicken's mind. While I do admire all the work that has gone into creating this series, I have screamed "This is not the way, it's not the way that we live... and love" at the screen on several occasions.

In anticipation of some more mind contortions, here is a little eye candy.

The New Year giveth...

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 20:57:00 +0000

Yes, I'm still around although you might be forgiven for thinking that I disappeared from the face of this earth. The holidays *did* take a lot out of me.

Let's start by extending some new year's wishes. May 2009 provide us with a lot of eye candy and, first and foremost, a good last season of the L Word.

On to the People's Choice Awards where Angelina Jolie's smirk detracted from the doe-eyed Anne Hathaway winning some kind of statue for her work in Bride Wars. I'm not particularly interested in Bridezillas or brides, or Kate Hudson or the little Princess herself, for that matter. But as I read the story, my eyes alighted on this photo.

Wowza, what a way to start the year. I commend her couturier for some excellent cutting and draping.

Shall we all dream a little?

RIP Bettie

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 08:36:00 +0000

Yesterday Bettie Page died. Yes, that Bettie Page. Miss Pinup of the World, dominatrix extraordinaire, willing camera model, who was up for anything. Sensuality poured into pretty bathing suits and lingerie, if any at all. The lady who paved the way for the sexual revolution of the roaring sixties. Also one of Hefner's first playmates. In her later years, Ms Page turned to God, becoming a Baptist missionary to redeem her sins (?). Honey, you didn't need to that. Our love was lifting your free spirit higher the whole time and you never even noticed.

For more reminders of her exotic beauty, click here (NSFW obviously).
And since we're heading into Christmas, I thought it would only be fitting to end with this pic:

Right back at ya, Bettie!

Mylene... ah, Mylene...

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 21:53:00 +0000

It's been a while since I've posted here. So why not start up again with some French music? I've been off and on into Mylene Farmer's music since I was 13. Yes, that's how old I am. Coincidentally, she's a redhead. I'm really beginning to sense a pattern here.

But her clips... Pourvu qu'elles soient douces, Libertine, Sans contrefaçon, etc. Elegantly choreographed, nudity, transgender, crossgender, everything gender.

So why shouldn't you enjoy her latest offering?

Dégéneration is its name. The clip is NSFW. But you knew that already, didn't you?

If only Sarah Palin could see this from her house...

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 21:40:00 +0000

I know, it's not a woman, but you gotta commend this pretty lad for his efforts, at -17°C no less, in a bathing suit, in Alaska. For once, it took a stronger man ;-)

Wear condoms already

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 12:12:00 +0000

Yet another year has passed and yet more people have contracted HIV. Sadly, nothing has changed. There is still no cure. There are still people who believe that they will live forever barebacking. There are still women and men in countries all over the world who contract HIV unwittingly because their partners are not using condoms.

So: be responsible and wear condoms already so we can put an end to this shame.

1 December: World Aids Day. We will remember.

This just in from the Chaiken: a new promo for the L Word season 6

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 12:07:00 +0000

I have watched this promo and all I can see is the cast basically trying to raise our enthusiasm about something not worth enthusing about. Maybe it's because I have already read all the spoilers and know where this season is going. Maybe it's the bearded she-man. Who can tell?

The good news: Alexandra Hedison is back. Yay. More Helena. But alas, more of another couple, which I, quite honestly, find cringeworthy. Oh well, only 40+ days to go until we all have to grit our teeth and bear it. And then curtain time.

Enjoy.

University

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 23:36:00 +0000

She looked over at the graduate student, who would be working in her office for the next three Wednesdays, and whom she was helping with her research.
There was something Roman about her profile, as if she’d walked straight out of an Italian Renaissance painting. Her dark hair was pulled back, her pale skin contrasted her brown eyes and the dark arched eyebrows. Like herself, this girl wore black. Strictly black. The only colour in her face came from the red lipstick, which emphasized her luscious lips.
The sun broke through the clouds and lit the office briefly.
She looked down again at the book that she was reading for her doctoral thesis and reminded herself to concentrate.
“Would you mind if I ask you something?”. Her alto broke the silence. "Fire ahead", she said and listened intently as they discussed the author's life and how it affected her views on women in her work. She noticed the furrow in her brow as she talked and thought and tried to remember how she herself had sat in this office and asked similar earnest questions.
As they continued to talk, she stood up and walked over to the side table, where she always kept a thermos with coffee. She gestured with her cup, questioning her with raised eyebrows on whether she too wanted some coffee.
The young girl stood up, rather too swiftly, and it took her by surprise. She almost spilled her coffee. "Careful", said the young student, as she steadied her hand. She felt the rush of blood, as their hands met, and the warmth of her skin permeated hers.
And in a rush, she imagined grabbing her wrist, pulling her close, and getting a taste of that mouth, those lips, oh those full-blooded red lips. Her mind's eye visualized them kissing, and she felt weak at the knees. She would kiss her in the neck, under her ears, along her clavicle. She would unbutton the cardigan, lift the t-shirt; she had already glimpsed the burgundy straps of the bra beneath. She would liberate her breasts from their restraint, and giddily she imagined kissing the nipples, alternately, lapping them into an aroused state, tugging gently at them with her teeth.
She had this vision of drawing her close, shoving the papers off her desk, hoisting her buttocks onto the table and unbuttoning her fly. Of her hand, intuitively finding its way into the graduate’s panties, and discovering the moistness inside. Of rubbing her clit with the tips of her fingers, of cupping her in her hand and gently nudging inside. Of watching the young girl writhe in ecstasy, as she touched her everywhere. Of kissing that mouth, as it begged for more. Of hearing her pant as she worked her towards an orgasm. Of feeling her go limp in her arms. Of kissing her gently, and whispering her name.
“Are you all right?”, the student said, brusquely awakening her from her reverie. “Yes", she smiled, rather flushed and she poured her a cup of coffee.

The L Word Season 6: somebody up there must hate us

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 22:23:00 +0000

Soooooo, somebody out there has already watched a few episodes of the new season (and posted frame grabs) and oh boy, however they are going to turn this train wreck into something watchable is too much of a challenge for my elementary intelligence.

What can I say? It's as if someone decided to read every L Word forum out there, take all the suggestions that were nixed by loyal followers and thrust them all into this last season.

Season six = season sux. Royally. But as usual, we will all watch it.

A first glimpse at season 6

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 22:32:00 +0000

Well, what do we make of this? It would seem that the truth is already out there? Be honest, when they said woman in the swimmingpool, didn't you all immediately think Jenny?

And while I'm at it, hello Xena, you warrior princess, you... wait, you're a cop now. That's hot.

ETA: I know now who dies. Well, well, well...

Another Venus...

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 22:17:00 +0000

Well, hummunah hummunah, Kim Cattrall. It's all in the name of art, of course, as the leggy 52-year old adores sixteenth-century Italian master Tiziano Veccelli and decided to strip down in a bid to keep two of Titian's works in Britain. The Duke of Sutherland is probably feeling the effects of the current credit crunch and has offered them to the National Galleries of Scotland for a paltry 50 million GBP.

Below is the eight wonder of the world in question:
Would you consider losing your clothes for this? If it got me some one-on-one time with Ms. Cattrall (remember: this is the woman who write Satisfaction, the art of the female orgasm), I would have to think about it.

L Word: the new season

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 11:40:00 +0000

This posted by Chiara S. at afterellen.com in response to a post by Grace Chu about the L Word poster for season 6.

What's with the Angelina love?

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 20:02:00 +0000

I'm sorry, I just don't get it.
Or maybe I'm conditioned by the fact that my SO has seen her up close and personal on several occasions and gave less than stellar reviews about her looks and general politeness.
Apparently, she even gives Nicole Richie pre-baby Harlow a run for her money.

Anyway, let's all just give her that sainthood now and then maybe she can just disappear, like the Wicked Witch of West, in a puff of smoke. We all get it, Angelina, you are our next Saviour come to earth to cleanse our filthy souls... yawn.

That dress...

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 19:53:00 +0000

Madge, honey, I don't care if you're the next poster child for LVMH and you can all screech, yes, but it's Vuitton, darling! Where I come from, *this* is known as astroturf.

Now go talk to Stella dearest and see if she can loan you something less Christmas-tree like... Really...

Continuing our scarlet(t) theme for tonight...

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 20:41:00 +0000

Something else to dream about: Dita von Teese engages Scarlett Johansson... in a dance and then some. Who would have thought that little Scarlett of the Horse Whisperer would become such delectable fare for our eyes. As for Dita, she is always perfect.

Hello boys (and girls)!

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 19:22:00 +0000

For once, I have nothing to add. The photo speaks for itself.

Nuns

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 23:12:00 +0000

Yes, me dears, Elena did go to catholic school with nuns for teachers.
Did we have naughty fantasies about what went on under their frocks? Not really, as they were old crones, of the mousy sanctimonious grey-haired variety and lacked the designer finesse of a full habit. But honeys, give me the nun at 1.45 in the following trailer any time... my fantasy will be working overtime tonight! Now, where can I get me some angel wings?

Doh!

noreply@blogger.com (Elena) — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 23:27:00 +0000

Some days I must be the stupidest chick on the face of this earth.
Looking at a photo of la Lohan, and reflecting on her latest comments about not being a lesbian, but maybe living la vida loca as a teensy bit of a bisexual, I had a sense of déjà vu. Remember the episode of the L Word in which Tina and the agent are arguing over the future of Nikki's career? And then and there it came to me...

Remind me to drink less coffee as tea seems to have a mind-bending effect on me!