I am Erika Aileen.

BIG NEWS.

2013-11-03T19:31:00.000-08:00

Hello, blog readers-the few, the proud, the dearly loved!

Today is a big deal for this blog. Why is that the case?

That's because today I move my blog to its new home: www.erikaaileen.com/blog

I can't believe that this day has come. It's been years in the making. I dreamt of having my own blog and photography website every since I got my camera (and I wasn't really even a photographer back then). So, six years later, and it's here.

If you come back to this blog, it will be left unchanged.
I'm so thankful that I got to share my life via posts, and I'm excited to continue to do so in a new format!

The Plan.

2013-10-22T06:40:00.000-07:00

We were out eating lunch under a large maple. It was windy; so we were trying to keep our napkins from blowing away while still trying to hold conversation.

Our lives were a bit crazy last week. I didn't cook anything. All week. Nothing. There was no time, and I was gone every night (thank the Lord Greg doesn't mind omelets for dinner).

This lunch was our catch up time. And, I couldn't have been more thankful for it.

As I was finishing my last bite of chili, Greg asked me about my plan. My photography plan.

We had both agreed some months ago that we didn't have the resources to be using our "spending" money to be purchasing gear. So, every penny would have to come from what I earned doing photography. This seems only fair.

So, when he asked about my plan, he was asking about my business strategy. Website, gear deals, learning opportunities, etc.

I just about fell out of my seat (more realistically, off the picnic table). He was pushing me. He was taking my hand and leading the way to help me accomplish my dreams.

Today, I can say that I am one step closer to those dreams.

There is a website in the works. A real blog. And, much more work to be done.

But, all of this is to say that there is something coming.

A new facet to my dream (to our dream).

Adventure: German Fest.

2013-10-14T09:20:00.001-07:00

Do you remember that time we went to German Fest?

It was across the street from our little home downtown.

I remember standing in line for a funnel cake only to get out of line because it looked unappetizing.

I remember getting back in line because all you really wanted was a funnel cake (and we couldn't find anything better to spend our tickets on).

I remember wandering through the brick streets watching beer stout holding contests and holding your hand as you navigated us through the crowds.

I remember listening to the polka bands through our brick walls when we got home.

I remember trying to get powdered sugar off my linen skirt.

I don't ever want to forget times when we adventure together and experience something new with each other.

You may not crave the thrill of the adventure as much as I do, but boy am I happy that you come along (and you bring your rationality with you).

After all, this thing, marriage, is our adventure.

And, the funnel cake was all that we expected...

Greg's Week: Zuppa Toscana

2013-09-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

Yes. I do believe that it's totally normal to base an entire week's menu off of what my husband likes to eat.

I mean, I eat anything. So, every week is Erika week around our ~~house apt~~ home.

When I went grocery shopping this week after spending 10 days at my parent's home, I didn't even know where to begin. We had negative food in our refrigerator. I'll leave that up to you to determine what exactly that means. But, if you've been there, you understand.

On my way to the store, I shot him a text asking if he needed/wanted anything specific. He asked for the basics (at least what he considers are basics)-shredded cheese, peanut butter, bread, and yup that's pretty much it. He did request a meal at the end of the text.

This is huge.

Greg never makes menu suggestions or really pushes for a certain meal. He's not choosy. So, it was kind of a big deal for him to ask for something.

That got me thinking. Maybe we should just eat some of his favorites this week.

How did we begin this week?

Olive Garden Italian style. Uhm. Duh.

I decided to try my hand at some "ZUUUUUUUPA!" Yes, you have to say it like an Italian.

Say hello to some lovely beef smoked sausage. These soup needs this. It needs the flavor.

Throw down some thick hickory smoked bacon.

I know what you're thinking. Yes, this soup is fool proof. It has bacon.

Bacon. Only made better by caramelizing some onions in its fat.

I am convinced that this is what makes this soup so flavorful without adding tons of seasoning. Those sautéed onions were like nothing I've ever had before.

This soup cries for some starch. Potatoes are an easy solution.

Just hanging out before taking a bath in some delicious bacon sautéed onions.

Add water. Chicken bouillon. Potatoes. Simple

I let my potatoes simmer for about 20 minutes. Then, I added an entire head of kale.

Please note. Take off the thick stocks of kale. The vein of kale can be pretty tough and tasteless. Let's avoid that.

I doused in some milk, salt, and pepper then served this puppy up with homemade breadsticks.

As for Greg? He went back for seconds. Always a good sign for a guy who doesn't eat much.

Day one of Greg's week: complete.

How Sweet It Is.

2013-08-22T07:02:00.001-07:00

I love climbing out of bed in the morning knowing that where I am supposed to be in 30 minutes is exactly perfect biking distance from me.

It's a huge relief.

It's nice to know that wherever I am, I can read my Bible, pray, and commune with the Lord.

That's kind of a huger relief.

Don't judge my adjective usage.

The beginning of this semester has been great. Greg started seminary which has been teaching me patience and joy. I love seeing my hubs love his job. That is some kind of wonderful. He has also been a huge encouragement in trying to protect me from the typical "pastor's wife" duties.

Having mono over the summer has really put a damper on my level of activities. Just getting out the door for work seemed like it took all the energy I had stored up for that day. Needless to say, I'm still fighting that and telling myself to rest.

Because of that, Greg has been very careful in the things he asks me to be a part of. For that, I am eternally grateful. I tend to be an "all in" kind of person. It's go-go-go, serve-serve-serve, which is totally ok if your body can handle that. But, at the moment, mine can't.

It's been a battle of guilt and people pleasing.

What will people think if I am not involved where I used to be? People don't know I have mono. So, they probably just think I'm slacking and don't love the Lord.

All those thoughts have to combated with truth. The Lord is teaching me to rest and serve him through different ways. Maybe the best way I can serve the Lord is by just focusing on loving my husband right now. What does God want me to learn from this? In what way is he guiding my heart towards Him? And, am I willing to let Him guide me?

I am so thankful for a hubski who is looking out for me even when I just want to do what others expect of me. He challenges me to bring the Lord into every sphere of my life-healthy or not.

And, not feeling "healthy" and "active" has been it's own thing.

That's for another time...

But, today, I am thankful for you, Greg.

Thank you for not being like me.
Thank you for teaching me different aspects of the Lord's character.
Thank you for loving me, even when I'm crazy tired.

From the night before we got married. Little did I know how sweet it would be to be his.

Milled Flax Seed Biscuits with Gravy.

2013-08-14T06:16:00.000-07:00

Greg and I frequent Cracker Barrel more than any other restaurant. Granted, we don't really eat out that much. But, when we do, the "Barrel" is our breakfast eatery of choice. There's just something nice about limitless coffee and being surrounded by people who have experienced much more life than you have.

We each have our typical orders. I, however, like to change mine up every once in a while. Maybe a bran muffin. Maybe oatmeal. And, heck, why not some blackberry pancakes?

The hubs likes to play it cool. Every time, it's biscuits and gravy.

So, with this morning kicking off his very first round of grown-up seminary classes, I tried my hand at this classic. But, like everything I bake, I tried to add some actual nutritional value to the meal.

Enter milled flax seed and plain yogurt.

I began by mixing together my biscuit dough. Take heed, this recipe makes a pretty wet dough. I followed the directions. But, if I had to do it again, I would definitely make these drop biscuits. Way easier.

I plopped them into a cast iron skillet (is there any other way?) and off they went to get cozy in the oven.

Meanwhile, I made the gravy.

But, there was no sausage to be found in this little apartment. So, I decided to leave it meatless and sub in some delicious flavaaaas (mornings make me crazy).

All in all, these biscuits and gravy made the hubs happy. The only thing that gave away that they were "healthied-up" was the sweet flavor in the biscuits. Depending on how sweet you like your biscuits, the honey quantity is debatable.

I topped these puppies with some fresh garlic chives (thanks, Mom, for my herb garden...let's see if I can keep it alive). I also just snapped an iPhone picture. Why? Because at this point I hadn't finished a cup of coffee. Walking to the other room to get my actual camera just sounded like too much work...

Of Late.

2013-08-12T19:11:00.001-07:00

I'm sitting with my legs pulled up underneath me in an oversized desk chair. There's Josh Garrles playing in a room without anything on the walls, and a bookshelf that is trying to hold too many books and journals.

This is our new office.

One week ago, I moved. We moved. That is, me and my hubs. Is that weird to say, or what? Maybe it's just weird to type. I have never moved in my life. Ok. I take that back. My family moved when I was three years old. That hardly counts. I couldn't even carry a box. And, what is moving but carrying boxes?

We moved to a new city and the hubs began seminary all in a matter of 48 hours. It's been a wonderful kind of chaos. I'm off trying to get my name, address, and school information changed while he is at work and class.

It's safe to say that it has been a lot of learning. Life right now is just figuring stuff out daily. Greg (the hubski), is still trying to dissect the intricacies and responsibilities of his job. I am trying to figure out marriage mixed with college.

It takes time. I cannot learn everything I need to know to get through this semester.

Everyday, something surprises me.

And, just like the surprises, everyday I must remind myself of the one always sure thing in life.

The eternal love of my Father and His gift to me of salvation is enough.

Even though there have been some difficult changes and adjustments, we both decided that we would choose to celebrate the good. In all things. We decided that we were going to choose joy amidst the uncertainty of this semester.

So, here are the physical out-pourings of that decision.

Donuts. Lots and lots of donuts. Ok, not really. But, between the two of us at our previous 8-5 jobs, we consumed our fair share.

Greg prefers to just go through life with his eyes closed and a smile. Actually, he does, minus the shut eyes thing. He's pretty jolly.

We kind of like to smooch. There's no one else for me. This boy is it. Forever.

To prove that, according to the government, I am no longer a Blake! Trying to dominate the name change hassle.

Tea also happens to be a happy and comforting way to end evenings. A creamy chai or herbal tea soothes the weary soul.

If all else fails, bake. My life motto. And, to help me accomplish that, I have acquired this beauty. It's by far the most used kitchen appliance.

The bread that the hubs still talks about.

It was fluffy! Probably because I avoided the temptation to put in wheat flour. It makes me happy, but the whole wheat is not a real favorite of Greg's...

We love living downtown. I, for one, am a huge fan of using my bike to get around. Buh-bye gasoline.

First day of seminary pictures. Yes, yes, I did. He was quite compliant.

I think he was a little aghast that I was going to take more than one. What can I say? It's a big day!

This should just give a giggle to all who see it. What a poser. Seriously! I think he's done this before.

Well.

There you have it. Our life of late.

We are confidently (and on some days not so confidently) trusting that God's joy of salvation is enough.

I know that He will prove himself to be our source of joy.
No matter what. God is all.

What You May (or may not) Want to Know.

2013-02-26T06:47:00.001-08:00

I feel the need to play catch-up. This seems to be the way it has been as of late with this blog. In an effort to expedite the process, below is a list of 25 things you may or may not want to know about what's been happening recently. Ready, shoot!

I'm an Einstein Bagel's regular now. Two early mornings a week must give you that status. Can't say I'm hating it.
Wedding planning is coming along. Invitations have been the bane of my existence. But, I'm quite thrilled that people even want to come to our wedding. Really.
I dyed my hair. It's a vibrant red/amber/auburn. And, because I know what's coming next, yes, I think I'll keep it for the wedding.
It's raining slush-ee today. Walking around campus is interesting, or non-existent. Let's go with the latter.
Greg has been wearing the GAP clothes I bought for him. He's quite good to me, even when our personal styles couldn't be more opposite.
We finally decided what the groomsmen are going to wear at our wedding. Why was that so much harder than the girl's dresses?
I can't wait to see my dress. It's been over a month since I've last seen it. I think I need to try it on again. It's too perfect. Ugh!
My family (and our exchange student) are making an excursion to Charleston for spring break. Hello colorful heaven!
My mother hugs me at least once a day and tells me I'm her baby and that she won't have me much longer...Moooooooooom!
I've decided that I need a beach. And, to be able to tan. And, some free beach apparel. Don't think that's happening.
I finished the book With by Skye Jethani. It's a good read for anyone. Annnnyone.
My brother comes home from Afghanistan in a little under a month. So happy for him and his wife to be reunited. And, I can't wait to see him, too.
I eat a peanut butter sandwich for lunch everyday.
Greg and I started premarital counseling this week. Pour on the sanctifying fire, Lord.
I like yoga. No, I love yoga.
I have a summer internship at Subaru. So pumped. God has been super gracious to provide a job for me.
Greg and I get to move into our first apartment together in Indy. Since our tastes are a far cry from one another, I think our decor will have M.P.D.
God has been showing me a lot about how selfish I am. Not in a way that makes me pull up my own boot straps and try harder, but in a way that makes me need/want Him so much more.
I'm working with our wedding photographer Brian Powell this spring, and super excited for him to shoot our wedding. I've never had professional photos of myself or Greg taken.
I'm still mesmerized by my engagement ring. My boy is way too kind to me.
Our church is starting a campus on the west side of town, and I couldn't be more excited to see what the Lord will do through all that.
My dad is amazing. Can't believe he's been my rock for so long. I'm going to be a faucet when he walks me down the aisle...ok, I'm already tearing up. Moving on.
Signed up for another half-marathon, and I've started biking. Triathlon?
My pencils are all out of lead. I asked someone in my class if they had any. Apparently, I'm too nerdy even for engineering.
There are flannel sheets on my bed. So comfy. Still pondering why I left them so early this morning...

So much has changed in a few short months. Can't wait to see how much more everything morphs into the present. For a girl who is highly averse to change, God certainly pulled a fast one on me. Maybe you found some decent information in that mess above. If so, good! If not, sorry. My life must not be too interesting. If that's the case for you, I can't say that I disagree.

Oh dear. Time to happily embrace all that is coming in this year.

Happy Tuesday!

The Not So Innocent Thursday Talk.

2012-12-06T17:02:00.000-08:00

Oh dear.

This has been something of a battle. A battle to get back to this dearly beloved and much forgotten blog. It's been sad. This blog is a friend that has been neglected. Quite frankly, this friend has been quite unthought of for some time. And, I haven't minded one bit.

After tonight's conversation with the ~~boyfriend~~ fiance, I recalled this lost friend, and my old desire for writing was rekindled. Ok. I promise to stop with the bad similes. No one likes them. No one. Not in poetry class or now. Not ever. Rant over.

What was this conversation about?

Oh, I am so glad you asked. Let me tell you.

The phone call started off innocently. I told Gregory to call me after he got off work. I had to go Christmas shopping for a Red Cross event, and I thought I could multi-task while I browsed through Wal-Mart. Multi-task should have been a hint. Lord knows I can't do more than one thing at a time.

The shopping part was cool. We bantered. Made fun of each other. The usual.

I hopped into my car after I was done, and then it just came. Oh crap. The big bag of crazy that I had kept contained throughout the day in my mind suddenly materialized in the form of words. My knee jerk reaction? The conversation was ruined. I had just ruined a perfectly good talk by bringing my problems to the table.

Instead of being ridiculously vague (why do writers do that anyway? No one reads your writing because they don't want information...or maybe you do. In that case, disregard the following), here is a sampling of my qualms.

If I'm in school when we get married, where is the money for rent, food, insurance, etc. coming from?

Does an apartment under $400 a month exist? I doubt so.

I'm so young. Why should I have to think about these things? I shouldn't have to, that's what.

How should I know how much my car insurance is?

And, yes, my health insurance is bunk. What of it?

See? It IS a big bag of crazy up there. And, you know what is even worse, I told Greg that I was scared. Scared because I didn't know if he even could provide for me what I wanted.

Did you read that? Can you believe I said that? I can. Because, I did. I said that to the man I want to marry.

He didn't react. He acted. He brought truth into my chaos. Even though I was silent mostly and occasionally uttered a "yeah," he was patient.

"Erika," he said, "you know that I love you, right? I want to marry you. I want to provide for you."

I wish I could end the story there, because if I did end it there, I could tell you that glitter bursted out of my phone. Children in a choir somewhere began singing Christmas carols. Greg appeared before me. We walked hand-in-hand to our favorite coffee shop and lived happily ever after. Did I mention that there would be snow?

Ok. I got carried away. Just in case you were wondering, no, that didn't happen. Sadly.

Instead, I sulkily told him I loved him, asked forgiveness for sinfully expecting him to satisfy all my crazy fancies, and hung up the phone.

Walking upstairs to finish studying for an exam, it hit me. That man on the phone loves me. God knows why he does! But, he does. My heart is ugly, and he, out of everyone in my life, sees the most of it. But, he, out of everyone, loves me the most.

And, what story does that remind me of? That HE who sees my dark heart the most, sent HIS son, whom he loves dearly, to live a sinless life, die a painful death, and rise again to give me eternal life.

My first visit to his home state, CO. The first of two, and hopefully many more to come.
Please?

Gregory, thank you. Thank you for being honest in your delivery of God's truth and love for me. I know that no person in their own power could love someone who willfully hurts others, like me, without God's provision. I thank God for you everyday.

Arenas.

2012-09-06T08:15:00.000-07:00

I hopped out my car, swung my backpack into its rightful position, and began the trek from my car to campus. Well before I reached my intended destination, I was sweating. Gross. Not like girl sweat, but manly drips of sweat. Great. Just perfect for my interview this morning. My pants began to stick to my legs. At that moment, I was extra thankful for the 15 minute buffer time I'd planned into my walk.


An awful photo before I left the house. I tried.

The buffer was used to stand in the lady's restroom and blot my sweat. Dainty, right? I know. While blotting, I was talking to myself. Reminding myself of why I was even applying for this position. I like to multi-task; what can I say? When the e-mail for Women in Engineering leadership position made its way into my inbox, I was ready to hit the "trash" button. Something kept from doing it, though. Maybe it was the fact that I performed that deleting action to everyone of those e-mails last year. Why not? Why wouldn't I apply? I always say that I want to be more involved ON campus. Here was an opportunity.

They asked me for an interview a couple days after I submitted my application.

After I had de-sweated myself, I headed up the stairs to the conference room for the interview. After walking into a couple wrong rooms, I finally landed in the right place. Thank you, kind man in the office.

The interview went well, I think, but that's not really the important part. I want this leadership position because I think it's important to represent Christ at my school, not just at church. Serving in the local church is important. Don't get me wrong. I tend to constrict my service to that arena and forget that other organizations need sacrificial service, too.

Time to stretch myself. To go outside what is comfortable. To be Christ in every arena that I can.

Taylor and Ben.

2012-06-13T11:01:00.000-07:00

Taylor came up to me on a Wednesday night while we were volunteering at the community center and we started talking. Every week, we would clean toilets and talk about what God had been doing in our lives. Soon enough, a boy came into the picture. She would shyly bring up Ben, not wanting to think something of nothing.

Soon enough, Ben started volunteering at the community center, too. Together they served, laughed, and poked fun. Lovingly. When they started dating, I knew that these two were just perfect. Taylor is game for anything that Ben wildly suggests, but she's also got a pretty good head on her. She has never ridden on his motorcycle. Point proven. Smart girl ;)

Ben concocted a spectacular proposal plan and allowed me to be a part of it. And, when the time came for their wedding, and I got to be a part of it too, I couldn't resist. These two love each other so much, and love their Savior even more. Thank you for letting me witness your love and document your wedding day!

This is quite possibly the cutest detail I've ever seen. Taylor's nephew pulled his new baby sister down the aisle.

Meet the "baby sister." So precious.

Taylor was such a doll for a variety of reasons, but the main one being that she just enjoyed the day, spending time with her family. Love, love, love a relaxed bride!

The studly young groomsmen sportin' the bow tie.

I always love seeing how the girls get ready compared to the guys. Makes me smile every time.

I think these next couple of pictures show exactly why I am always a fan when couples want to have a first look before the ceremony. The sweet moment is so personal and beautiful.

So much joy!

Oh, and kudos to all these guys. We had a blast with these pictures. Well done, boysies, well done.

Seriously a beautiful group of ladies.

Watching his bride come down the aisle.

Taylor did an awesome job with all the details. Candles. Lighting. Flowers. They were amazing.

And, true to Ben's farming roots, they had cow-bells as they left the ceremony.

These two made my job a breeze! I mean, come on Taylor, gorgeous!

Taylor's dad welcomed everyone to the reception with such a heartfelt speech that just showed even more how much he loves his girl.

Like always, Kelly's Cakes did a stellar job with this beauty.

Ben's mom grabbed a handkerchief as he brought her up to the dance floor. So, yes, there were tears shed.

Ben and Taylor, I just love you two!

Happy Wednesday!

Long Distance Advice.

2012-05-21T07:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Sweet Summer. Thank you for finally coming and visiting. The weather is perfectly hot. My days are perfectly unplanned and adventurous.

Now. I'll stop talking to Summer like it's a person. Yup. That's a little weird.

Although my summer is off to smashing start, there's just been a little something that hasn't exactly been the bee's knees. Well, this guy mentioned first here, I still like. A lot. But, for the next six months, he'll be a state away.

Ok. Writing that last sentence made me feel like a girl. Big time. Who knew that someone just being a state away (granted at the moment he's back home in his Rocky Mountain state) could really seem so stinkin' far. Well, I know now, I guess.

He took off before the weekend started, so as I continued with all the weekend hooplah, people kept asking me where he was. Time after time, I had to tell people that he wasn't going to be here (forsixverylongmonths). Totally not brought on by my prodding, people would commence their "long-distance relationship" advice.

Trust you me. I am not going to claim I know anything about dating long-distance. This girl is a noob. But, here's some advice of note.

"Yikes. Long distance? How on earth are you going to handle that? You're not even going to be a part of each other's lives. Well, I guess it's a make it or break it time. Just remember that."

Alrighty. So, this is make it or break it time. Got it.

"It's going to be hard on you guys, for sure. But, just try not to get too bored with each other."

Don't get bored. Check.

All these people offered their advice, only a select few shown above, and obviously they care about this relationship which is totally sweet, but it was just hard to sort out everything they were saying. Overwhelming? You betcha.

BUT. There was one couple who gave me something that I'll remember. And, probably use over the next six months.

"Don't just find things to do and experience together while you're apart. Those things are important, no question, but there's something more important. Find something that will direct the time you spend talking towards God. He put this in your life to grow and stretch you. So, use this time to make the relationship stronger."

I just stood there after they got done sharing about their own experience of long distance dating. Deer in the headlights. What advice they'd given me from the perspective of how this time apart could be used to honor God. These six months don't have to be just time where our relationship is held by a tiny thread.

Last night before I got my first phone call from this not too shabby boy, I was reading The Gospel Primer (and, my word, if you haven't read it, I implore you to do so. mmhmm. so much gospel goodness). Before I picked the book up, I was missing this boy something awful. But, I was reminded that I don't deserve all the good pleasures God has given me. Nope. Not at all.

I was feeling sorry for myself. For my situation. Which, let's be real, is a far cry from the worst thing that could happen. Come on, Erika. So, the next thing I read was the following:

Instead of giving thanks to Him and humbly submitting to His rule over my life, I have rebelled against Him and have actually sought to exalt myself.

Yup. Conviction time.

Anywho. Aside from sorting out all the jumbled "advice" from everyone and their mom (literally, their mom), I haven't needed to think of much, but the gospel. Maybe that's enough? I think so.

Joe, Liz, and Charlotte.

2012-05-15T10:29:00.001-07:00

So, for those of you who have had the endurance to stick around with reading this blog. First of all, I think you deserve a prize. Like chocolate? Chocolate is always good. Secondly, and definitely more importantly, you're probably familiar with these people.

Liz and Joe are probably up there on my favorites list. I think the first time I met Liz was during a church choir practice yeeeeears ago. And, just this last weekend, I had the complete privilege of documenting their little family. Let me tell you, I don't think I've met a happier little one year old. Charlotte is a little stooge and goofball (not like her parents at all...).

Liz had the brilliant idea of going back to all the spots where we took maternity pictures almost two years ago. It was a little nostalgic and a lot amazing to see how much had changed in that short little span of time. I love letting the people I photograph select their own locations. These photos are just so Liz and Joe. And, I think their location idea was a big part of that.

It never gets old seeing how much parents love their kids. Blows my mind. So, Charlotte, if you ever get around to reading this (I hear you're a smart child), remember how flipping awesome your parents are and how much they love you.

Meet Charlotte. Just about the gosh darn cutest thing. AND, she's wearing a tutu. Perfection.

As we were walking around Purdue's campus, a nice fireman volunteered his truck for pictures. How on earth could we resist?

Smooches from the parents.

I love pictures of dads and daughters. In fact, I'd like one like the above with my dad. Although, that wouldn't quite as cute, or be as easy now...

Book selection brought to you by Charlotte.

Charlotte, showing her passion for bugs and books...

Actually, I think she's skeptical. Just look at that face.

And, with that cute lil' smirk above, I think I'll call it a day. Happy Tuesday!

Fawning Over Molding.

2012-05-09T08:10:00.003-07:00

It had just been one of those days. The kind where you haven't seen the light of day (thank you early mornings and window-less libraries). The kind where you start to get bogged down in everything you have to do. Yup, it had just been that kind of day.

So, I was this close to just packing up, heading home, and snuggling with my oversized, fat, and all-around adorable cat. Ok. Before I scare anyone, I'll stop with the cat.

But, it was on this day that my father had requested some pictures. Pictures for a property he was in the process of purchasing. Since the property is historic and kind of right up my alley, I could only agree to take the pictures. No question.

Before I go into trying to describe the fawning I had over the building while taking the pictures, why don't I just show you? Ok. Deal. Glad we had this chat.

See? See.

I don't think I've ever drooled over molding. Till now. What is not to love about this?

Told the padre that I was moving in, stat.

And all the ceilings and walls are met with this insane chunk of beautiful wood.

By this point, I'm pretty sure I was unwilling to leave the building. All the details of old houses just get to me!

Ok. I need to stop my excessive talk about how amazing restored homes are. Shutting up.

Brief interruption from my no talking, but this fence post has been there since the 1800s. Ok. 'Nuff said.

Let's close this out with a photo from the basement. Filled with old windows, doors, and shutters. So, yes, aside from the dank smell, it is heaven.

Micaela and Nick.

2012-04-25T06:46:00.003-07:00

They're just some of those people. The ones that are just honest. Go with the flow. Easy people to be around. Nick and Micaela are some of those. So, when I found out that they were going to have their first lil' bundle o' joy, I could not have been more excited.

Even though this is their first baby (girl!), Nick and Micaela feel like parents all ready. Probably due to the fact that they have two of the most adorable yorkies, Gus and Sam, to ever scamper on the face of the earth (barring of course my family's newly acquired yorkie, Bucky).

Anywho. Enough with the dogs. This is all about the cuteness that is this new family.

Micaela is due in a couple of weeks, and I am about ready to die because I want to meet Aniston so badly.

Ok. I'll stop talking now, and get on the good stuff...

I know that Aniston is one lucky girl. She gets these two for parents. It's a no brainer.

Nick just recently got back from a trip to England. And, coming back with him were these o' so cute lil' onesies (babies obviously make me cut of words like little and oh....).

Are you kidding me with that momma gorgeousness? Seriously Micaela, you are one good looking lady.

This is proof that they're going to be raising their baby girl right. BOILER UP!

Let's wrap things up with one of my favorites, yeah?

Happy Wednesday!

Without the Morning Coffee.

2012-04-16T06:19:00.003-07:00

After going three days without my morning coffee (and not just my morning coffee, but also my afternoon, and evening as well. how did i survive? that is still to be determined), I woke up knowing that I needed some. So, grabbing my favorite yellow mug, I brewed my much needed hazelnut beverage. As I plodded back up the stairs to my room to read my Bible, there were some thoughts that I couldn't seem to shake.

Like what (you may ask)? So glad you asked (or the rest of these words would be even more ambiguous). It all has to do with the future. What is going to happen with school? Do I really like engineering enough to finish this degree? What on God's green earth would I do instead of engineering? Yes, all these thoughts happened on my walk up the stairs. My mind, I tell you, is a big bag of crazy.

Sitting down indian style in front of my computer, my eyes met the book I was reading last night. Curious to recall my copious highlights of the evening, I opened the book. But first. Some background. This book has been sitting on my nightstand (along with about 10 of its closest friends) waiting to be read. Finally, I broke down and knew that I needed to make it a priority. So, I begun The Attributes of God by Arthur Pink.

Each little 3 paged chapter goes in depth with an aspect of God's character. Who God really is. And, last night it was the solitariness of God. Not even making it through the first page without serious conviction, I knew this book was going to change my view of God. Big time.

Turns out, my thoughts about the future were all just outflows of my disbelief of who God is. "He(God) was in no need of that external glory of his grace which arises from his redeemed, for he is glorious enough in himself without that." So, in the first place, God doesn't need me. Humbling? Yes, yes it is.

God doesn't need my worries. In fact, I'm pretty sure he knows all about my situation (and by pretty sure, I mean he knows all the ins and outs). He has got it handled. My worries benefit no one. Instead, they make my life miserable, and are an affront to the solitary God who set-up every circumstance for my good.

Phew. Alrighty. Sounds simple enough.

Ha. Not so. But, I did make the above conglomerate my desktop background. It's gotta help, right? God has abundantly supplied all of it.

So. I pray knowing that my God is the only god who is dependent on no one. I pray knowing that I am feeble and am only dependent on God.

What a relief. God doesn't need my forever changing mind, irrational decisions, or obsession with coffee. He doesn't even need me to be glorified.

But, he chose us. He chose me.

The implications of that? So far, mind-blowing. Still trying to figure them out, but I think that will be a life-long journey.

Trenton and Jacquie.

2012-03-30T07:16:00.000-07:00

Well, he knew that he liked her. A lot. And, well, she kind of knew he liked her, too. But, they weren't quite ready to just dive into the dating scene. They stayed friends for a couple months. Each knew that the other was interested. However, they chose that it would be best for both of them if they got to know each other a little better.

After three long months of being "friends," Trenton and Jacquie made it all official.

Over the past year, they've been serving together, learning more about each other, sassing each other (Jacquie, otherwise known as lil' sassafrass). Together they are perfect. Humorous. Fun-loving. Godly.

So, when Trenton asked me to sneak into a house, camp-out, and take pictures of the proposal, I could only say yes. And, that's exactly what I did.

Trenton and Jacquie first really met when he came over to her apartment after a desperate tweet from Jacquie about losing her favorite necklace down the drain. So, Trenton to the rescue.

This time around, Trenton purposefully clogged her sink. Then, conveniently while he was over, he used the bathroom, noticed the problem, and offered to fix it. Jacquie wasn't too thrilled with his offer. He was going to make a mess. It was fine, really. But, Trenton insisted.

Unclogging the sink, Trenton pulled out a necklace(please note, the necklace wasn't actually in the drain. no worries) Jacquie had been missing. On the necklace was the ring. Jacquie took a step back as Trenton got on one knee. She didn't say anything. But, 10 minutes later, with the ring on her finger, she confirmed that yes, she would marry him.

The ring. Oh so cleverly placed on the necklace.

Taking a break from all the group messaging to get a hug from her fiance...

My word. So much joy. I think Jacquie's face was beaming all night. And by think, I mean know. I had the privilege of witnessing all the happiness first-hand.

Hugs of congratulations. Perfection.

Kimiko's priceless face.

Momma love.

Trenton trying to show off his ring...or lack there of.

I love you two. And, I seriously can not wait until you get married. Eek!

Tory Burch Flats.

2012-03-14T06:40:00.001-07:00

Shamefully, I curled my toes back up into my shoes. Looking at the feet of those around me made me feel woefully incompetent when it came to attire for my peds. My friend slipped on a new pair of Tory Burch flats, and I knew that I would have to come to grips with it. Come to grips with the fact that it will probably never be a wise decision for me to spend that much on a pair of shoes.

In fact, my foot adornment at that time confirmed that, and more. I was wearing my favorite pair of beaded moccasins. These shoes have seen me through it all. And, it shows. The toe box has been sown up around the seams multiple times, the soles are being torn out, and every time I take them off, a piece of the sole stays stuck on my foot. Their condition is anything but pristine.

So, as I waked around midtown Manhattan, I felt judged (probably because I was being judged...). My knee jerk reaction was to feel sorry for myself, but that didn't last long. So, my sentiments were as follows.

I became increasingly thankful that I am not defined by the kind of shoe that I wear (albeit that these shoes are going to be replaced at some point today. They really are quite finished). It made me thankful for where my home is. In Manahattan, there's so much emphasis on appearance and status via apparel that I think it remarkably hard to not get totally caught up in all that the designers have to offer(although I'm not going to lie and say that I don't find looking through Vogue rather addicting, or pretending that I could afford an Ellie Saab dress tantalizing). There's so much less of that pressure living in the midwest. Or, ,aye it's just that the pressure comes in different forms.

Whatever it may be, I know one thing for certain. My status with God isn't dependent n how many pairs of Tory Burch flats I have, or how holey my glorious moccasins are. What a relief.

Pro-Con.

2012-01-31T17:45:00.000-08:00

I was dressed up like a hipster (which was really not very difficult). Complete with "ster" written on a 3x5 card on my hip (get it?). As I walked around talking to everybody at PBF, my church's college ministry on Friday nights, I walked by someone and they started laughing.

Naturally, I turned around to see what was so funny. There was this kid with his jeans belted tightly around his waist, a taped logo on his polo, and a well-trimmed goatee. Then, it clicked in my mind. He was dressed up as the college pastor. I laughed at his costume, and he actually understood mine (and thought it was funny, hence the laugh).

Then, that was that.

Turns out, I saw this kid a growing amount after the hipster-pastor encounter. There was just something about his uncanny ability to laugh and find joy in any situation. Not to mention, when I invited a friend from one of my classes to the PBF barn dance, he went out of his way to be friendly and bring her into the group. That didn't go unnoticed by me.

We hung out more. I thought he was a solid guy and had potential to be super good friend. He jokingly put his number in my phone as "God" one night after a lengthy game of signs. Promptly following that incident, I asked "God" for a pony and a Red Rider bee-bee gun. As of today, neither request has been answered.

Anywho.

And, like it always seems to happen, the more time I spent with him, the more he challenged me to do crazy things. For example, listen to sermons...for fun...enjoy the life God gave me, and not stress out about minor details. You would think that I would start liking him. But, truth be told, I didn't even let myself go there. Why? Well, that's complicated. The main reason had to do with the fact that I wasn't even thinking about guys. At all. And, who am I to assume that someone who is so passionate about God would actually like me?

So, I had to choose not to think about it.

He was thinking, though.

After a good bit of sarcastic texting, a couple phone calls, and some actual serious discussions, I got a text asking me to "pencil in" a fun little outing for the upcoming Saturday. Could he really be asking me on a date? Psh. No. I convinced myself that we were just friends. After all, he hadn't said anything otherwise.

We had an appetizer at one restaurant, then moved on to the entree at a classy joint downtown. Stuffed after all the comida we had eaten, we opted out of dessert and headed to a hole-in-the-wall place to get some java (introducing him to one of the places only the locals know about). After 20 minutes of solid conversation, I just couldn't take it any longer. Did this boy like me? Spit.It.Out. I stopped choosing not to think about it.

Just as I had mustered up enough guts to just ask him, he reached into his pocket. He pulled an envelop out and handed it to me. Tentatively, I opened it. It contained a sheet of paper, folded into fourths. As I opened it up, I saw the words perfectly constructed and organized. It was a poem.

Knowing that all good things come at the end of poems, I skimmed over the top portion (inserting a chuckle here and there to make him think I was actually reading it..no worries, I've read it many times since then). I landed at the end. "So if you would like to entertain the idea of us dating, I propose a pro-con list for some serious evaluating."

Oh boy. This guy knows my love of everything pro-con, especially lists.

I folded up the letter, not knowing what to say. Yes, sure, thank you? Finally I formed the following words: " I guess we could probably start making a pro-con list, now" (so original and cute, yeah? no, not really at all).

So, ever since then, I've been adding things to the list (always pros, except for the fact that I'm convinced that my family likes him more than me now). God has been faithful in little and big things all my life. And, beyond just being faithful, he has been exceedingly gracious. Gracious enough to bring this kid (since he's older than me, can I call him that? Oh well, too late now, I suppose) across my path. For that, I am thankful.

Violet Binded Truth.

2012-01-23T08:45:00.000-08:00

I didn't wake up to my alarm.

So, my morning went down hill from there (it doesn't take much, apparently...). The schedule for the rest of my day instantly became monotonous and sounded like drudgery. But, my Mondays are the easiest day of my week. Two classes that don't start until 2:30. Guess I was just determined to make it a bad day.

It didn't take much to realize that the gospel meant nothing to me. Really, Erika, one late alarm is going to ruin an entire day of opportunities to glorify God? What a waste.

Instead of hunkering down to do projects (that really don't need to be done right now), I forced myself to sit down with my Bible. And, I wasn't going to make it easy. No skipping of my reading-through-Isaiah path. I was determined. There's truth in there, and I am going to find it. Search for it. Apply it.

I read the first two verses of Isaiah 13. Then, I stopped. What on earth was I reading? Something about Babylon and the Medes. Reading about something that held no meaning to me wasn't going to cut it. So, I jumped down the stairs to my dad's office (yes, I literally jumped). On the wall of shelves covered with Christian literature (my parents are the bestest), a commentary with violet binding caught my eye. I yanked it off the shelf and went back to my perch.

It took a while to digest the chapter in Isaiah, but the reward of really searching through God's word is remarkable. And convicting. There are so many things in my life that I try to put in the place of God. I expect people to be my all-the-time spiritual go-to's. And, that kind of (no, not kind of, it really does) puts them in the place of God. A place where no human being was ever meant to be put. No matter how Godly someone may be, the reality is that they will always disappoint me and I will forever be groping in the dark for God. I have to search for Him on my own.

Well, sure, other people can be of tremendous help, but they aren't my god (at least they shouldn't be...not to say that it never happens). I love the way Tim Keller put in in his book Counterfeit Gods, "Something is safe for us to maintain in our lives only if it has really stopped being an idol. That can happen only when we are truly willing to live without it, when we truly say from the heart: 'Because I have God, I can live without you.'"

Can I live without everything (everyone) but God? Yikes. Scary thought.

Way Early.

2012-01-17T07:53:00.000-08:00

I don't think I should be held accountable for the outfits I put together at 6:30am. Like today. I wasn't in my right mind (coral and green? really?).

But, stumbling out of bed and throwing an assortment of notebooks in my backpack, I walked out of the house (all the while hoping that my fleece would cover up the outfit mishap). It was early. Way early. This morning marked the beginning of this semester's accountability group.

Somehow, we all found each other and convinced ourselves to wake up early (on a day we didn't have to) and talk about God early in the morning. To say that we all like coffee would be an understatement. But, I think a situation like this lends itself to compulsive and exponential coffee consumption.

Once I got over the earliness factor this morning, I remembered a)why I missed this over break, b)how much I love these girls, and c)how much I need God. It always baffles me why God brings people into my life that actually care about me and my walk with Him. Crazy.

We cover quite a bit of ground during our early mornings (probably not as much as we could, because, come on, we're girls. we like to talk. a lot.). After taking my daily dose of coffee and setting Bible reading/memorization goals for this next week, I'm finally ready for this semester. Life and routine are back. And, so are my girls.

And, I'm thankful. Ridiculously thankful (even though the only picture of all of us has Trenton creepin' in the background...and my hair is going awry. ah, well).

Thinking Position.

2012-01-13T06:45:00.000-08:00

This morning, I just sat. Sat in the middle of my bed with two hands clutched around my coffee mug. I was thinking. It's my traditional environment to do so.

I read my Bible to help ease the feeling of being overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed by everything (even the good things. how crazy is that?).

About half-way through my cup of coffee (that's how I measure time in the mornings), Julie promptly threw open my bedroom door and just stood. I gave her a quizzical look, and she then proceeded to ask me "Erika, are you happy?"

I didn't respond right away. Frankly, I was taken aback by my little sister's directness (not that it should be a surprise, especially coming form people in my family). Without thinking, the word "sure" came out of my mouth.

But, come on. Not very convincing. So, I just took a couple more minutes to think. And, I landed solidly upon the fact that I am a very happy person. Not because this week has been easy. Or, because I've got what I want. Although I can't really argue that my life is hard (not possible). Nope. I've decided it's because God has given me no reason to be unhappy. I have every reason (thanks to God) to be the happiest person on the planet. In fact, I would even go so far as to say that Christians should be the happiest people (but, that's not really where I'm going with this...so, I'll just leave that alone for now).

So, I sat a little longer on my bed, processed a little more, and then decided that there wasn't enough coffee in my mug (happens all too frequently). Oh, there's still a lot to digest and think about, but why should I not spend that time happily doing it? There's no reason. None.

And, just to remember what things make me happy, I feel the need to make a list (I get this feeling a lot...a lot).

*Reading a Chronological Bible. I'm obsessed with this. Big time.

*Friends who bring me things back from China...like awesome notebooks (I should really tell more people about my fetish for all things journal related).

*Classes. Especially friends in classes.

*Train's new song: Drive By. I may or may not bounce around in my seat in public computer labs when I listen to it. No shame.

*Photoshop collages. Who knew these could be so gosh darn fun? I sure didn't.

*Learning things that I have never had experience with before (like never knew existed before this year). e.g. programming

That will do for now. Although it is by no means an exhaustive list.

soma: a foreign drink that is supposed to give you some sort of mythical energy. a little strange. but, it was a coffee shop I went to recently. and, it makes me happy. so....(and no post is complete without a picture...just saying). and no worries, I didn't drink the mythical drink. just coffee. which is pretty magical if you ask me...

Now, Erika, just remember these things. Remember why you're happy. Remember how much God has given you. And now, stop writing in third person...

Syllabi Shock.

2012-01-09T10:49:00.000-08:00

Routine.
Schedule.
Friends.
Work.
Computer Labs.
Post-Lab goggle face.
Libraries.
Coffee.
Joy.
Awkward.
The Gospel.
Scared.
Unprepared.
Bi-Polar (this list proves that one... ;)).
Ready.
Determined.
PBF.
Crew.

Ok. Enough for now.
I was so ready for school until I made the choice to start looking at the syllabi. Always a bad idea. Then, I got overwhelmed with all I don't know (and it's a lot, trust me). Just when I started to enter full-fledged panic mode, my browser shut down. Goodbye syllabi. And, it was such a good thing. Stop worrying about what I can't do, and start thinking about who God is.

And, a phone call from a calm and chill friend doesn't really hurt either.

Hello, second semester (please disregard what school's sweatshirt I'm wearing...)!

Living in My Car.

2012-01-06T10:33:00.000-08:00

I've decided that I'll just start living in my car.

Wait. I should probably justify that statement (or not, because I love its ambiguity).

Here's why. I do all my best thinking while I'm on the road. For example, I decided to apply for an internship while on a road trip (granted, it was a complete bust, but a good experience none the less), I decided to into engineering on a road trip, and I had my view of missions completely changed while on a trip to New York. See a pattern?

Me+Cars=Thinking.
(not my best derivation, but it will do).

Yesterday, while driving back home from visiting a friend at another school, I had a major conviction/aha! moment. But, I should probably back up to what went down before that glorious moment in my car.

Me and this friend, Lydia, go way back. She knew me freshman year of high school (and we're still friends...God bless her), and we've kept up this friendship which is a perpetual breath of fresh air. I pulled up to her apartment, and walked in for a homemade meal. After we had sufficiently stuffed our faces, we drove to campus to take pictures (artist meets nerd. me an engineer, her a violinist). About half way through, we took a coffee break.

As we sat and talked about life, our relationship with God, and college, I found myself forming a lot of questions in my mind. Questions that I didn't have the answer to. She talked about how hard it is to be faith+actions sort of Christian when all those surrounding her choose not to be.

We finished off our day with sipping Russian tea on her terrace. Perfection. We uploaded pictures, talked camera gear and white balance, then I headed home.

I talked to God all the way home (not in my head...out loud; it's how I do). There is so much I have to be thankful for. Going to a public university has its difficult moments, but I forget how big of a deal it is to have my church family of solid believers always challenging me.

This morning, as I pulled out my prayer journal and Bible, I somehow landed in Jude via cross-referencing. I've read the book several times, but today I saw it with new eyes (gah! I love that about God's word). There was a passion that kept creeping up in me to challenge college students. To challenge myself.

The end of Jude concludes like this: ¹⁷ But you must remember, beloved, the predictions of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ. ¹⁸ They said to you, “In the last time there will be scoffers, following their own ungodly passions.” ¹⁹ It is these who cause divisions, worldly people, devoid of the Spirit. ²⁰ But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, ²¹ keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. ²² And have mercy on those who doubt; ²³ save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh. ²⁴ Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, ²⁵ to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.

I see myself being captured and tossed about by the wind (Eph. 4:14), and like the psalmist said in Psalm 73, "My feet had almost slipped." I don't want to be tossed about (sounds quite painful, really) by empty philosophies.

So, my resolve? Search. Search for truth. Scour God's word for answers to problems. Whenever I turn to the world for solutions, it inevitably results in misery (if not now, then undoubtedly later). As a Christian, I believe that God calls me to be equipped to combat the so-called "wind."

Am I equipped? For real?

Incredibly thankful for this friend. Mmhmm.

P.S. for those of you who actually read this, 1. thank you, 2. forgive my long and rambly posts of late, 3. I promise to be witty and light-hearted sometime in the future...maybe... ;)

Lessons from Mary Poppins.

2012-01-03T08:29:00.000-08:00

Context: Sitting on bathroom floor covering our toenails with sparkles. Listening to Mary Poppins' Soundtrack.

Julie: The father is kind of not a very nice man.

Me: He isn't is he? But, our dad is pretty stellar, right?

Julie: Yes, yes he is. Their dad doesn't really read his Bible.

Me: (suppressed laughter) No, I never saw him read it in the movie.

Julie: That's probably why he isn't very nice. But, Mary makes sure he becomes nice. She has a beautiful voice. That's why he got nice.

Thanks, baby sister, for adding a little spice and a lot of laughter into my life. You 'da bestest!