Pressing buttons on my keyboard right now is utter torture… well, not that much torture. I think I still prefer practicing my ukulele rather than being pulled on a medieval rack or something.

So here it is. Since I am practically too old to Buy Orbeez toys and/ or find new play things, I’ve decided to follow the advice of my favorite female artist, Amanda Palmer, and buy me a ukulele instead.

Suprisingly, it is just as hard as playing a guitar. I tried getting a guitar lesson from my college friends once, and it was horrible. The metal strings hurt, I can’t do picking so much, and I keep getting all the notes wrong.

I guess this means I’m a much better dancer than a musician… even though I may be a little overweight. ~_~

I bought the ukulele on a whim from my devilishly-persuasive conscience (I didn’t even think it was that possible XD). I was very, very enthralled with Amanda Palmer’s version of Creep (as seen in my past post), and I really, really, really wanted to try it. And now that I have it, it turns out that it still takes a lot of work.

I mean, sure, it took me an hour to get a few chords right, but after that, putting a song together is tough, even with a copy of the tablatures are nearby. ~_~”

Or maybe it’s because my pinky finger is way too weak. Anybody got any idea how I can remedy this? My pinky finger feels like it’s all bone and no muscle to press hard into the string.

Not to mention my strumming sucks eggs. ~_~

Anyway, this does not mean I give up though. It might hurt like hell, but I am absolutely loving it. I love it as much as I love to bellydance… which I haven’t been doing for a few weeks now because my Gym ID got lost (huhuhu). I just need lots and lots of practice. I’m actually loving it because… well, it’s the first time I’ve been able to make any music at all at any musical instrument.

So, back to the tablatures! Once I’ve rested my finger tips, though. ~_~

*Yes, this is my sweet, darling, black ukulele, with it’s soft case, tuner and my clear book of ukulele songs*

I am positively, absolutely, no-doubt-about-it, head-over-heels in love with this artist.

I even bought a ukulele (the same instrument she’s using) just so I’d be able to play it like her…

Obsessed much? Harharhar. XD

I’m regretting the fact that I didn’t take a lab coats and enrolled up in the Medical Technology course in college, as my mother did.

A recent news about my father’s health made me realize that this is probably the biggest decision that I regret. I didn’t become a nurse, or a doctor, or even a Lab Technician… anything related to the medical field that could probably help my parents in the long run. Stupid of me. ~_~

But, I do realize that it’s too late to do that now. I’d have to make with what I have right now and help whatever I can. My sister, God bless her, is an awesome nurse… perhaps one of the best nurses that her hospital has. I am confident that she can help my parents better than I can.

I am not as confident as my sister is, though. What can a librarian do to help in a person’s health? Sometimes I even think that my work seems so insignificant that if I left or quit in my current job, everything would be just the same.

Haiz. Or perhaps I am thinking too negatively.

Now is not the time to be negative. I have to do what I can to help my parents, however little it may seem. Maybe as a librarian, I can do research and find out more about how to take care of my parents. Yes, perhaps that’s the thing I can do…

A lot of my friends that I have told this to said that there’s nothing to be scared of, but I beg to differ. Had I not decided well, that would have been the end of this blog. ~_~

The morning of January 12, on my way to work, I decided that I was going to leave early from my office to head for a local Health insurance company, so that I can fix my account with them and add my mother as a beneficiary to my account. I was supposed to leave around 11 am, so that I can take my lunch at a nearby mall.

But when I got to the office, I decided to call off my travel for the time being, and focus on my work for the moment. A few moments later, there was havoc in the office.

It turns out that a dump truck, coming from uphill on the road near our office, lost it’s breaks, and headed towards the intersection where I normally wait for jeepneys with jeep parts from xtremeterrain.com when I travel home… or to the Health Insurance office.

That same corner where the child came out of, is the very same corner where I normally wait for a ride.

According to the reports, 5 people were killed, and 13 were wounded. Of the 5, one of them was an elementary student, who was seen as in the footage crossing the road before the truck plowed him through. And also according to the reports, these kind of accidents happen a lot.

It is a very scary thing to think about. A lot of people were shocked, but very few of them were scared at the fact that this truck plowed through our office’s neighborhood. There were five of us who were thinking of leaving the office early, and we were all glad that we didn’t. If we continued our travel, we would’ve seen this accident… or worse yet, we would’ve been in the accident. We were happy that our decisions kept us alive.

We were also sad about the victims. One of the children that were killed in this accident happened to be a student at one of our offices’schools. I extend our condolences to the child’s family, as well as the family of the others that have perished in this horrible accidents.

Anyway, this only goes to show that although some things can be avoided, nobody can really tell what will happen in our lives. I am a little glad that I didn’t go through with my travel, but I’m still very sad about the victims. This kind of accident happens here almost every year, and I am appalled that the local government is still not doing anything to stop this. How long will they let this happen? How many lives are they willing to risk while they make their decision? I don’t know the answer to these questions, but I sure hope that they do something quick. It’s scary to think that others could fall victim to these kind of accidents here. >_<

I’ve had three performances already. The 1st one on my mother’s birthday, the 2nd one on my gym’s Christmas Party, and the third one on my office’s Christmas Party.

And after all that, I have come to the conclusion that I am not ready for professional bellydance. XD

Don’t get me wrong, I love dancing. There is something about hearing the music out of the home theater speakers that make me just want to move, even though I might not move very well. It’s actually a great feeling. It’s like everything blacks out and all that’s with you is the music.

But still, I am not in par of other bellydancers. I have way, WAAAAAY lot more stuff to learn. I still haven’t mastered my zills, I haven’t done veils and veil pois and sword balancing… I can’t even do Rachel’s backbend. ~_~

I still have a lot of training and practice to do. I just hope my teacher at the gym would be more than happy to teach me. I think I’m really passionate about bellydance. ^_^

By the way, just in case you guys didn’t know, I’ve had 2 bellydance videos in YouTube. Click here to view my YouTube profile and see what other stuff I have in there. XD

And so after two days of being dizzy and unable to breathe due to colds, my grief finally came up to me a few moments ago.

My brother’s dog, Mafia – a cute, chubby, white Askal – was killed in the early hours of Friday, when a school bus hit her during her toilet run.

I was awake when they told me what had happened, but I was too dizzy with fever and unable to breathe due to my colds. I was unable to cry because I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to breathe due to the colds that was already blocking my airways. I was upset, but I reined my grief in, and went back to bed to make sure I don’t fall over because I was very, very dizzy. But I could hear them outside my room. My brother’s family and my sister were crying.

I heard the discussions, and what I heard made me so sick and dizzy that all I could do was fall unconscious in my bed again. Mafia was run over a school bus, and my mother told one of our helpers to give the dog’s body to one of the pedicab drivers. My mother didn’t know that my brother was in our house at that moment. When my brother finally woke up and found out, he headed to the pedicab driver to take back the body, only to find that it had been chopped up and was about to be turned into a “pulutan”. Mafia’s head was no longer with the body, and all that remained was a plastic bag of some of her “meat”. I blacked out again when the crying started.

When I woke up again, my father was home, and he was telling me to pack some of my stuff so he can take me to their new place, where my mom could heal me. I was very dizzy, but I was able to ride the car and head to my parents’ place and lay down on their bed. My mother healed my fever with some menthol oil, but my colds continued. My dizzyness stopped soon after, and when I was strong and stable enough to walk again, I told my mom about Mafia. She was sad too, but she said that she had no idea that my brother was at our home in Antipolo, and she had no idea that he wanted the dog buried. I couldn’t talk anymore, so I just ate dinner and slept again.

This morning, it was the blessing of my parent’s place, as well as their new store. I helped around a bit, for as long as I wouldn’t get dizzy. I remembered that I have work tomorrow, so I decided to get back here at home.

As I stepped out my cousin’s car, the grief hit me.

I headed directly to our kitchen, where Mafia’s daughter, Chubbilita, was. When I saw her and realizing that the other dog who was supposed to greet me beside her was gone, I made my way to a corner, sat down, and cried hard. Chubbs came near me and laid her head in my lap and whined, like she was saying, “I’m crying for my mom, too.” I cried a lot, and she was whining on my lap, licking my hands and face. I cried for a few minutes there, before heading to the backyard where my brother had buried her. He put three stones on top of the spot, and I had the urge of putting a small figurine of a dog on it, even though I didn’t have one. I offered a small prayer, and went back inside.

But as I was typing this blog, I remembered something from the PAWS website about a Pet Memorial Wall. The Pet Memorial Wall is, obviously, a wall with plaques of pets that have touched the lives of their owners. For a fee of P2,000 (which will be considered as a donation and will be used for the shelter animals), the Center will create a plaque and add it to the wall. I was thinking of adding Mafia’s and my old German Shep, Roval’s name there, since they both touched the lives of our family. It would be great too, since the P2,000 would be a great help to other shelter dogs so that they can find a home and feel loved, like we loved Mafia and Roval.

I left my cellphone at my parent’s place (dang it), so I wasn’t able to text my sister and my brother’s family about this idea, but I’m hoping that they’ll like this idea. They might say that 2k is a pretty hefty price, but I’m sure that the 2k would be well worth it.

Anyway, there’s a pile of tissues here by my keyboard, and it’s full of snot and tears. Delayed grief sure hits hard. T_T

Nah, just kidding!

This is actually a picture I found in the back of my closet, along an unopened plastic of adult diapers (from my mom was hospitalized for surgery, but she never used them) and well… my other personal items.

I swear, my closet is a forest. XD

Anyway, this is an old picture of me (circa 2007) when I had the “Sasuke Cut” (from Naruto). Actually… this was before the Naruto Fad started. I think I got the haircut from a member of My Chemical Romance. Yeah, I got it from the whole emo fad. ~_~

I found it while looking for old pictures of me with short hair. My hair is shoulder-length right now, trimmed once and a while, and it’s was getting really bothersome as I like the wind on my nape. I was thinking of a pixie cut, or something short with layers. I have a really round face, and it’s really hard to find a short cut for it. Not to mention it’s a little wavy when it grows back, since I’ve been rebonding it for three years now.

But now, I really HATE rebonding, and I really don’t want to do it anymore. I just want it to be low maintenance, but still pretty.

Oh man… somebody find me a decent hair stylist. ~_~

All because of this woman. XD

I’ve heard that it’s only three to four chords. But I don’t have a ukelele… T_T

Remind me to buy one when I get enough money. XD

Yeah, I’m author there too… granted, I only made 12 of them, and some of them are weird. There are some good ones, but I think there’s a couple induced by drunkeness (like the two Twilight Fanfics I made ~_~). I swear, I’m going to have to go to the long beach drug alcohol rehab treatment center whenever I’m making a new fanfiction. >_<

I do have a new fanfiction coming up. I’ll be posting it soon, once I finished editing it. It’s about the Lord of Rings movie, so all you LOTR people should watch out for that one.

I’ve had a couple more fanfics, but they got screwed… and eventually deleted. My writer’s block is so awful nowadays. Maybe I’m too distracted.

If you want to read my fanfics, just click here and you’ll get to my author’s site. Don’t forget to leave a comment, ok? XD

Remind me never to do this again.

Oh wait, I’d have to… on Friday. >_<

Yeah, I “belly danced” during my mother’s birthday program. They loved it. Hahaha!

It’s not really my thing to dance in public, especially belly dancing in front of people, even though they’re my relatives. But unfortunately, I’d have to belly dance for a lot of people on Friday. So I thought, “If I can’t dance like this in front of my relatives, how in the heck can I belly dance in front of total strangers?”

So yeah, this is me… belly dancing… even though my blouse looked like an electric blanket rather than a costume.

I don’t have an actual belly dance costume yet, mainly because it’s really hard to find a top for me. Go figure. I’d have to sew my own, which is what I’m doing right now. I just hope it’ll be done by Thursday and Friday >_<