I am not a shut-in...

Oops I did it again...

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 04:26:00 +0000

Hi.

My name is Grace and I have a problem.

I'm a binge shopper.

I have a compulsive shopping disorder. It's not your run of the mill shopping addiction, I get my highs on 2nd hand stores, vintage shops and half off sales. Since I've lost a little bit of weight and because I was feeling the urge I treated myself to under two hundred dollars worth of clothes, shoes and bling bling.

And because I'm so vain I decided to post pictures of my awesome finds. Please ignore my messy bathroom and my even messier hair OH AND ignore (or admire) the fact that I'm wearing my super awesome sunglasses in the house. I'm saving you from seeing my "not enough sleep" look.

Brown wrap dress from Value Village $4.99.

Pearl "button" necklace from Fred Meyer 50% off $2.49

Cream wedge shoes that I already owned
Black and white top with aqua trim from Fred Meyer $17.99

Big aqua beads from Fred Meyer $3.99

Black skirt and big black heels I already owned

Green leaf tank top from Fred Meyer 50% off $7.99

Skinny jorts from Buffalo Exchange $10.50

Brown Sketchers I already owned

Black sack dress I bought a while ago

Big pink beads from Fred Meyer 50% off $ 3.99

Gray sexy heels from Value Village $7.99

You've gotta see the shoes up close!

My new favorite jacket from Value Village $8.99

Skinny jorts and sketchers flip flops (gasp)

Big poofy black skirt from Buffalo Exchange $10.00

Black tank top I already owned

Leopard sweater from Deluxe Vintage $15.00

Black ballet flats I already owned

Black and white 3/4 sleeve dress from Deluxe Vintage $20.00

Red shoes and belt I already owned

Rockin' black necklace from Fred Meyer 50% off 6.00

Tiny Denim mini dress (that I probably shouldn't wear BUT I LOVE IT)

from Buffalo Exchange $12.00

Brown belt and brown wedge shoes I already owned

My new favorite dress ever from Fred Meyer 50% off $25.00

Black & Gold Madden Mary Janes from Fred Meyer 50% off $17.99

$174.91 and a brand new wardrobe!!!

Monday: My Photography

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 04:20:00 +0000

Sunday: Things I hate

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 05:17:00 +0000

I hate the following:

#1 - Peeing and then noticing there is a bug or spider in the toilet. You know what I'm thinking when I see that..... What if? What if it came from me!!?!?!? Gasp!!! I can't even think about it.

#2 - Seeing people walking around with those super sized big gulps for soda. Who needs that much pop? Seriously? It's just wrong

#3 - Parents who don't watch their kids. I'm totally fine with screaming at stranger kids, but I shouldn't have to.

#4 - Those little hairs that grow on the base of my feet. I HATE them.

#5 - Personal fans. They are totally retarded.

I want to try something new...

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 05:17:00 +0000

Since I love consistency and I love blogging, I figured I'd do a short blog a day based on what week day it is.

This is in addition to my other ones, it's just something I want to try out.

Here is the outline I'd like to accomplish. Of course it's subject to change.

Friday - "Caption This"
Saturday - Easy Fun Recipes
Sunday - Things I Hate
Monday - My photography
Tuesday - Read it, watch it, hear it
Weds - Things I'm really into right now
Thurs - Tales from customer service

Best snack EVER!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 05:01:00 +0000

These are to die for!!!!

Bacon Wrapped Lil' Smokies in Brown Sugar:

Lil Smokies

Bacon

Brown Sugar

Wrap the lil' smokies with bacon. I cut my bacon strips into three sections. Secure with a toothpick. Sprinkle them GENEROUSLY with brown sugar. Place them in a single layer in a glass baking dish and let them sit for a while. I like to refrigerate them overnight.

Bake at 375 for 45 minutes, unless your oven runs hot then do 350.

Just like my favorite Fine Young Cannibals album, here is a picture of the raw and the cooked:

Caption This!

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 05:48:00 +0000

A fabulous prize will be awarded to the person who creates

the best caption for this photo....

Last weeks winner was the Amazing Lore! Congratulations!

I've done all the hard work for you

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 04:25:00 +0000

Most people know I have a serious Stumble addiction (www.stumbleupon.com) ...

Since I enjoyed these so much I figured might as well share some of my "finds" with you all.

Enjoy!

A match made in Nerdville!

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 03:28:00 +0000

You know how I know Chris and I were made for each other?
We are both such huge dorks that we BOTH saved our periodic table of elements from chemistry class as high school memorabilia..
I found them this weekend while I was looking for our truck title.
Now it's confirmed that we were geeks before geeks were cool.

It's really a thing of beauty, isn't it?

It's taken me a week to calm down enough to write this blog....

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Wed, 21 May 2008 03:35:00 +0000

I have an announcement.

I've broken it off with Usher.

Anyone who knows me knows that I can defend the most main stream, stripper talkin, ho slappin', bling braggin', just plain ludicrous (no pun intended) hip hop on the radio these days. Shit, I mean you should see how excited I get when that retarded Ray J song "Sexy Can I" comes on the pop station. My bootyr is shakin' and I've got my rap hands WAY up!

I don't know what it is about hip-hop, it's just part of me. A dark shameful part. :)

Anyhow, in the car a week or two ago I heard the WORST hip-hop song EVER. I mean just dumb.

It was so stupid I had to find it online to play it for Chris, so he could be tortured with it's trash along with me. Then I noticed the worst of it all.... IT WAS AN USHER SONG.

I LOVES me some Usher. I've listened to the "Confessions" CD more that I'm willing to admit. And don't even get me start on his "My Way" album.

BUT this song I heard, "Love In This Club" is unforgivable. I'm posting the link to the youtube video, but I want you to keep in mind my hatred of this song has nothing to do with how nasty it is. It has EVERYTHING to do with how retarded the lyrics are http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqqY07OZWps.

If you didn't watch the video, here is a quick breakdown of part of the song., these are not in order...

"On the couch, on the table, on the bar, or on the floor You can meet me in the bathroom yeah you know I’m tryna go" ---- WE ARE TALKING ABOUT A CLUB HERE PEOPLE. I've personally vomited in all of those places in my younger days.

"You keep doin’ it on purpose whindin and workin’ it" ----- Date rape anyone?

"Lets both get undressed right here, keep it up girl i swear, imma give it to you non stop and i dont care, who's watchin...watchin...watchin" ---- In real life those people get kicked out of clubs and they are usually 200+ pounds.

Goodbye Usher. We've had a good decade, but it's time to move on.

xoxo
G

I'm such a child sometimes...

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Sun, 11 May 2008 04:59:00 +0000

As a HUGE fan of thowin' up the "shocker" sign as often as possible I thought this was the funniest chart I've seen in a long time.

I can't wait for a chance to flash the "show stopper"...

4 out of 5 relatives think I'm a pervert now!

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 01:55:00 +0000

I had this entire blog all planned out on how I was going to accuse all dog groomers of being sick perverts. It really was going to be a gem of a blog.

I was going to reference back to this original pervert dog groomer post I put up months ago to solidify my argument.

BUT... all of that fell apart when I started showing off my non-award winning photography at my Step-mom's 50th birthday party.

My sister saw it first since she was with me when I took the picture and she agreed it was fo' sho' a doggie butt hole.

Then I showed my dad and asked him if he noticed anything "funny" about the picture. He didn't.

Then I showed my husband and asked him if he noticed anything "funny" and again, he didn't. AND he accused me of being disgusting. The nerve!

So I was left no choice, I had to show a few more people. I realize a birthday party may not be the prime time to pass around a picture of a cartoon dog butt hole, but honestly what was I supposed to do?!

When I showed my sisters husband he laughed a very kind "I don't get it" laugh and then refused to agree it was the dogs butt hole when I pointed out that was the "funny" thing I was having him look for.

Basically what this blog has turned into is me begging you to say you see the dogs butt hole so I don't feel like a pervert!

Get your mind IN the gutter for this one...

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 01:50:00 +0000

Original post date 9-10-2007

Someone should have told these folks to hire a business consultant before naming their business.....

In fact I think they stole this business name form a couple of girls I know who work on main street in Springfield. Workin' girls of course!

I wonder if they trim pussy here too? Sorry I couldn't help myself!

It tastes like Chicken!

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 19:20:00 +0000

Pay attention my friends.... if we are ever in a situation where you have to eat me, I can feed up to 12 of you. I’m not sure how many meals you’ll get out of me, but feel free to chop me up and cook me. I think I’d taste best grilled with a little BBQ sauce.

Feel free to return the favor.....How many cannibals could you feed?
http://www.oneplusyou.com/q/v/cannibal_lunch

Guess what???

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 06:12:00 +0000

After months of being neglected this blog is back in business.............

If I only had one week to live....

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 05:21:00 +0000

This is incredibly tasteless, but sometimes I fantasize about being diagnosed with a terminal illness and only having a week to live.....

SO I CAN PLAN MY MENU!!!

If I only had a week to live I’d eat......

Voodoo Donuts - Bacon Maple Bars would be mandatory every morning during my one week left on the planet.

Chocolate Sandwiches - I know it sounds like something you would have to look up on Urban Dictionary, but it’s NOT!

Chocolate Sandwiches:

2 slices white Wonder bread
1 Hershey bar
Butter

Pre-heat the George Foreman grill till the light comes on. Butter both sides of the bread, put the chocolate in the middle and grill it until it’s golden brown.

Costco Hotdogs - It’s the best deal in town...$1.50 for a hotdog and a soda. And it’s consistent, it’s been a buck fifty for as long as I can remember and I have faith that Costco will not be changing things anytime soon.

Yellow Laffy Taffy & Banana Slurpees - I’m pretty sure this is what I’d ask for as my last meal. I LOVE anything artificially banana flavored.

Weiner Wraps - Another one that you don’t need to look up on Urban Dictionary. AND to set the record straight once and for all, weiner wraps are NOT the same as weiner wangs.

Weiner Wraps:

1 package of weiners
1 tube of refrigerated crescent rolls
Cheese is optional

Preheat oven to 375. Wrap crescent rolls around each hotdog. Cook for 13-18 minutes. Top with melted cheese if desired.

Kraft Mac N’ Cheese - I don’t care what anyone says, Mac N’ Cheese from the box is the best ever. You don’t know how many times I’ve heard "you’ve gotta try my recipe". While their recipe might be good, it’ll never be Kraft good.

Grape, Strawberry and Orange soda - With only a week left I don’t really need to worry about rotting my teeth out.

Little Caesars Cheese Stuffed Crazy Bread - There is nothing I can say in defense of these. They are disgusting in an amazing greasy, cheesy, doughy sort of way.

Looking at this list now I realize I have the same taste in food as an 8 year old. Fuck it, it’s my last week to live, I might as well live it up junk food style.

The Blockbuster Rewards - Good deal, but don't get fooled like I did.

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 23:10:00 +0000

For some strange cosmic reason my husband has no problems getting his movies to arrive with Netflix, but mine never do. I always seem to find them at the bottom of the queue, even after I've moved them to the top. How bizarre is that? I could change the Netflix password, but the truth is he does use it quite a bit more than I do. So I arrived on a solution...

The old fashioned movie store, Blockbuster. It had been YEARS since I'd rented movies at a movie store, but it turned out to be quick and painless.

The clerk talked me into their "Rewards" card. It cost $10.00 and was good for one year of Reward Membership...

The Perks:
1. One free rental (non-new release) per month.
2. Rent any movie on Mon-Weds get one (non-new release) free.
3. Rent five full priced movies get one free!

Great deal! Right?

Well the clerk didn't tell me that the third perk, rent five get one free, was limited to two per month. Last month I got screwed out of a free movie and this month I've already used one of the free rentals, AND IT'S ONLY THE SECOND.

This type of movie rental might seem excessive to some of you, but you see I've been in a bit of a pinch with the writer’s strike, so I've been renting TV shows on DVD. Shows everyone says I'm going to love.

Right now I'm working my way through the Nip/Tuck series and Prison Break simultaneously. I'm not 100% sure I'm going to continue with Prison Break, but Nip/Tuck is awesome!!!!

It's not at all what I was expecting. I guess I thought it was going to be a little more like Dr. 90210, but NOOOOOO... It's so exciting and very clever. I'm not even done with the first season yet and I'm totally hooked. Since each disc rental only has three episodes on it I'm sure it's going to take me a while.

Alrighty, I'm off to Blockbuster to get Season One Disc Four. Fuck its Saturday, no BOGO! :()

It's late and there isn't much on.

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 07:04:00 +0000

I have a routine.

I go to bed between 10 and 11, 9:30 if I'm lucky. The only problem is that I don't fall asleep right away. I watch TV. Lots and lots of TV.

Right before we moved I put up a little fight and was able to get DRV in my bedroom. I know this sounds extravagant and I can justify it by saying that there are shows my husband refuses to watch, but that would be a waste of time and not totally true.

Usually I get caught up on the "Chelsea Lately" from the previous night. I fuckin' love that show. She has my dream job. I'd never be able to be nearly as funny, thin or tall as she is, but a girl can dream, right? I love her side kick, Chewy. Their dynamic is hysterical. The way she just throws PC to the wind and teases him about being a midget kills me. I love anyone willing to be un-PC in a funny way.

Once a week I watch the "Soup". Love love love this show. It totally gets me off.

I've been trying to finish the "Real Word" at night. I have two episodes left. I have a strong feeling that when they are over I'll be dedicating an entire blog to that show.

Another regular is the weekly broadcast of the "Girls Next Door. Holy. Shit. I never thought in my life I'd like these girls, but they are so endearing and totally hot. The show is never groundbreaking, but it's the kind of entertainment numbness a girl needs before falling asleep.

Then there are shows that I'll watch once I take my glasses off and start trying to fall asleep. Shows I can just listen to that I don't really need to see to know what's going on.

Steven Colbert and John Stewart. I know I know. I should pay more attention, but the thing is that I can just listen to these shows and I don't really need to see what is going on. And hell, if I doze off, I can always replay it the next night.

Real Time with Bill Mahar - Again, I can just listen to it and not need to see it.

E! News - Oh the shame.

Finally I fall asleep. By time Chris comes to bed he ALWAYS turns the TV off. If I'm not in a deep sleep I will incoherently insist I was watching whatever is on.

It's a pretty dope routine I've been rockin out.

1-26-08 Saturday - It's time to talk about this

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 19:20:00 +0000

I watched Dangerous Encounters with Dr. Brandy Barr early this week. It was on National Geographic which has proven to be the channel that brings me the most entertainment recently. This show was no exception.

Armed with a 200 pound kevlar hippo suit, Brady Barr went undercover in the wilds of Africa to stalk these 3 1/2 ton creatrues. The goal? Collect hippo "super sweat" and study it for protective agents.

Did Brady Barr learn nothing from Steve Irwin and that Grizzly bear guy? Seriously? I'm so confused by people who need to be so close to dangerous animals.

Yes, he was trying to collect their sweat for scientific study, but they had also mentioned that they have already collected their sweat by sedating the animal. I'm no scientist, but it seems to me that this would be good enough.

Hippos do multiple things to show you that you are not welcome on their turff. They fake charge you at first. Which would be more then enough to make me run. They also unhindge their jaw and open they mouth really really big and scary. Their canine teether are up to 28 inches long and according to Brady Barr they can bite through the think skin of another hippo. The most entertertaining thing they do to show aggression is what was referred to as a "dung shower". They explosively relieve their bowels while wagging their tiny tail, spraying shit as far as the eye can see.

So Dr. Barr gets his suit all in order and heads out to hang with the hippos. The first attempt didn't work. The beasts took off, according to Brady Barr because they could smell him. So the only logical thing to do is cover the suit in hippo shit, right?

That's exactly what they did. Picture this. The guy is in a 200 pound hippo disguise, it's 150 degress in it and it's covered in SHIT. What would you do? Probably the exact same thing he did. Vomit and dry heave.

But he didn't give up. No no no. He went back. AT NIGHT. Fucking hell. WHY??????? I can't imgaine the fear of being surrounded by 40 hippos and having your vision impaired.

The sad thing is I don't even remember if he was able to collect the sweat because I spent so much time saying "why why why" and laughing my ass off.

Please watch this if you get the chance. It's very entertaining and even educational. I had no idea hippos were capable of a "dung shower", you learn something new every day.

I couldn't find a video of the dung shower, but you'll enjoy David Letterman talking about it.

Tag! Yo!

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 05:19:00 +0000

Since I've been out of town I have yet to get caught up on the DVR. I think it's about about 74% full so I better take care of that this weekkend.

I decided to post this tag blog instead....

The rules in this game of tag are simple -- once you have been tagged, you must write a blog with ten weird, random things, little known facts or habits about yourself. At the end choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you've been tagged' and tell them to read your latest blog. Since you can't tag me back.. let me know when you've posted your blog so I can see it.

These are so hard for me to do without repeating ones everyone already knows. My life is an open book and I'm pretty vocal about things.... but here goes.

1. You know how much I love candy, right? Well, I hate twizzlers! Hate hate hate them. I wouldn't eat them if they were the last sweet thing in the house and I had had a bad bad bad day. They are THAT gross to me.

2. I never grocery shop. I never go to the store specifically to fill my cart with things that will get me through the week. Basically I just buy what we need for one or two evenings. It's not even close to economical, but it saves me a lot of time since the grocery store is very convenient for me.

3. There are two words that I can't say and I avoid saying them at all costs. 1. Hors d'oeuvre and 2. Filet Mignon. Chris has spent countless hours trying to get me to say them right, it's ain't happening so I just don't use them.

4. I hate with a burning passion the music my husband listens to. He loves Techno. It sickens me. And by "sickens" I mean I can easily become physically ill listening to it.

5. I have a relationship with a group of girlfriends that's impossible to explain. They've kept me sane when I thought it was impossible and every day I try to be a better friend to them because they inspire me and make me want to be a better person. I'll just leave it at that!

6. This is really gross and I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but I've started what I like to call the "sickly sweet" routine. I've started being really sweet with customers at work. Not to say I haven't always been nice, it's just that now I've been working on "reading" my customers better. Some want "all business" and some want "sickly sweet". Judge if you want, but it works.

7. I have one bedroom in our new house that is full of boxes yet to be unpacked. That's a lie. I have two rooms full of boxes that have yet to be unpacked and my back porch has a pile of empty boxes. We've lived here three months. Must do that this weekend.

8. I have to think about "then" and "than" whenever I type them. AND I still get it wrong. Sad. I worry about spelling errors, grammar and punctuation A LOT. It's never been something I'm good at.

9. I know NOTHING about Indie, underground or unknown musical artists. Most of the "new" music exposure I get is from the radio and sadly I have not listened to the radio much since 1997. You can tell what decade I'm stuck in.

10. I've developed a big problem recently. It turns out I obsessively give "fist pumps" or "pounds" when I'm drunk.

That's it. That's all the dirty laundry/unusual facts you are getting for tonight.

I have no idea how many of you are reading this blog. So consider yourself tagged if you do. Let me know if you post something. )

Sunday 1-20-08

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 03:01:00 +0000

Today was full of mindless television.

I watched a couple hours of "Lock Down" on National Geographic. I don't know why prison shows intregue me so much. At first I was a little concerned about what that said about MY mental health, but then I realized that if it's on TV I'm not the only one watching it. Like my justifications?

I'd never make it in prison. It would be a sad sad story.

I also checked out a couple of the "Taboo" shows on Nat Geo. It was a very educational day. The one about animals, more specifically pets was kinda nutty. I can't imgaine wanting to stuff (note I didn't use the term "mount") Tokus Pokus when she dies.

If you don't watch "Taboo" I highly recomend it.

Because Mr. KIA didn't leave for work until 3pm and my optimum viewing time on the weekends is from 7am - 1pm, there are still some shows on my DVR that I didn't get a chance to watch. There is the "Dangerous Encounters", where the dude actually dresses up in a life size hippo decoy suit to get closer to the hippos. Brilliant. What else what else what else. There is the Redneck wedding show I meant to watch and then later tonight "Rock of Love II" and "Celebrity Rehab" will record.

I did watch a movie. I watched "Clerks II" for the thrid time. I still can't figure out why this moive didn't do well. I frickin' love it! This video I'm posting is the best scene from the entire movie. It's Jay doing the Buffalo Bill from "Silence of the Lambs" impression. Phenomonal!

Saturday 1-19-08

noreply@blogger.com (You Know My Name) — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 15:32:00 +0000

It's not often that I turn off a movie before I've finished it, but last nights first selection was dull dull dull. We rented "I think I love my wife".

According to IMDb it got 5.6/10, this would have been good information to have before I insisted we rent it. Or my husband, Mr. Know-It-All could have been a little more adamant on not rending it instead of just saying, "I've heard mixed reviews."

It's possible the movie wasn't that bad, but I couldn't allow it to go on. I couldn't allow my image of Chris Rock to be tainted by a cheesy almost romantic comedy. I mean, come on! Chris Rock will always and forever be on the highest comedy pedestal for me. I've watched "Never Scared" about fifty times. He is a genius!!!

I'm interested in knowing if anyone actually enjoyed this movie.

The second movie of the evening was Reno 911! Miami. I don't watch the series on Comedy Central regularly, but I've seen it many times and find it absolutely hysterical. It's Lieutenant J Fucking Dangle for crying out loud. The shorts he wears just kill me!

The movie is exactly what you are expecting. It would probably be hard to enjoy if you've never seen the TV show, but with a couple of cocktails anything is possible.

If by chance you are still questioning if a person is born gay or becomes gay just watch Christian on Project Runway. I think it's pretty obvious he came out of his Momma as gay gay gay as possible. He is by far my favorite of this season.

Christian's Bio.