I Am What I Choose To Be

4 Years!!! Are we Awesome Or What?

2013-04-30T09:59:00.002+08:00

I love Labor Day!

First of all, because it's public holiday and second of all because it's PUBLIC HOLIDAY! I've been so stressed out at work recently I need a lay off.

Another reason to love Labor Day is, it's a day before my anniversary with John. Couldn't believe that we've been together for four freaken' awesome years! I am astounded at my level of loyalties with this man. Ok Ok I admit you caught me eyeing some other guys on the magazine few times, or ogling at Johnny Depp picture with my jaw dropped oftentimes. But I love this man (John to be precise), he make me feel that I belong somewhere.

I better stop now before you guys vomit blood with all these gooey details of my love life. Till next time, Happy Labor Day!

p/s: There's no better way to spend your day off sprawling in front of tv with a nice beer!

Chow!

Pixie

Aren't we perfect for each other?! :)

It's Been A While..Do You Miss Me?

2013-04-10T14:52:00.002+08:00

See U Soon!

Pixie

It's the time of the month

2012-05-30T13:13:00.001+08:00

I detest certain time of the month. The days look gloomy and dark, the cloud gathers on your head and create the cumulonimbus that look like it going to pour any time soon on you, the cold that makes you shivers. Then, you can see Gregorian playing on my iPod. It is the time of the month. My "depressed" day.

"No, I don't have depression problem!". I told myself repeatedly when the thought crosses my mind. But then why even the slightest song with emotional verse make my eyes welled up. Sigh. Being a woman is hard. You tend to be dragged to the lowest emotional imbalance at certain time of the month. It's hormones, PMS and lot more than you can bargain for.

"Do something about it!". The voice at the back of my head always want to surpass my feeling when it comes to me get attached to this type of emotion. I do try. I drink jasmine tea, green tea and all sorts of tea that are well-known in controlling your bad day. I listen to Beach Boys and all the happy-clappy songs. I even daydream about all the happy days that happened, about to happen and maybe not going to happen. But, once it's getting quiet inside, the darkness wrap his cloak on your heart, the loneliness creeping and take control then bang! You choke. It's like there is a lump on your throat that doesn't want to go away. You can't swallow your emotion. You have to let it out. And my way of getting it out is to just lie in the corner of the bed or somewhere and curl up. There's nothing else that make you feel better at that moment other than be alone for a while and have someone who you care enough and care about you enough to hug you and tell you that EVERYTHING GOING TO BE ALRIGHT.

Coldplay - Trouble

Pixie.

p/s: don't stoop so low. Always give yourself some credit. You deserve it.

Texas Hold Em Night

2012-05-04T11:13:00.002+08:00

Mr.Bf and I were having Texas Hold Em last night with few friends at our house. I never play it but starting from yesterday I think I like this game. Knowing me, I am very bad at card games, be it anything from bridge to even monopoly. However, I got a feeling that I kind of good in this. Haha I bet that is what all gamblers thought. But if you're playing with friends there's not much harm that will happen. So I think I will play again!

p/s: do you believe that poker is purely luck or it's you that have to make the most of your cards?

To Love You..Is My Only Dream But To Be Loved Back By You..Is My Achievement

2012-05-02T13:50:00.004+08:00

Today marked 3 years of Me & Mr.Bf together.

In words of Cecilia Ahern, Author of p/s: I love You;

“She was a woman who made mistakes, who sometimes cried on a Monday morning or at night alone in bed. She was a woman who often became bored with her life and found it hard to get up for work in the morning. She was a woman who more often than not had a bad hair day, who looked in the mirror and wondered why she couldn't just drag herself to the gym more often; she was a woman who sometimes questioned what reason had she to live on this planet. She was a woman who sometimes just got things wrong. On the other hand, she was a woman with a million happy memories, who knew what it was like to experience true love and who was ready to experience more life, more love and make new memories.”

To My baby;

Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.

Speaking The Language

2012-05-02T11:57:00.002+08:00

I was in the train today to work and standing next to me is 2 deaf-mute guys who talk to each other using sign language. I was amazed on how fast their hands move equivalent to how fast they telling the stories. It makes me wonder for a while whether they can catch up on what the other person is saying. I also wonder whether there are different sign languages, or people in different countries speak different sign language and it turns out that there are lots of sign language and different countries do speak different sign language. It makes me sad somehow to think that deaf-mute people that travel overseas find themselves lost in translation. But it happens to even normal people like us and this language barrier that do happen to deaf-mute people somehow make me feel like what is the different between them and us. We are all the same. We are born normal but incapable of certain things (like swimming for me :) ) and they born impaired but maybe they have good eyesight or sharp in body language.

Lost in Translation

Anyway, I learnt that communication is approximately 30% verbal and 70% body language (the figure might be wrong but it somewhere there), so it is interesting sometimes that you do speak the same language with other person but you don't understand what you've been talking about at all. I was out with Mr.Bf last Monday, and we ended up disagreeing over something. I don't know, the more me or him try to explain further, the more it became complicated and confusing. We are speaking the same language but we are not SPEAKING THE SAME LANGUAGE. I believe our mind totally not in-sync that night hence we don't understand each other at all. So you do have to get connected to speak the same language (eyes, body, mind?!)

Me and Mr.Bf not SPEAKING the same language

My maid is Javanese Indonesian and she doesn't speak English at all. I was impressed the first time she talk to Mr.Bf and he understand her and vice versa. Where on the other hand, I speak Malay and understand a bit of Indonesian but I always find myself lost with her and she does different thing than what I ask. There my problem is I hear but I don't LISTEN.

I went to KFC this morning in KL Central to buy my breakfast and there was this fight between a lady customer and the cashier. The lady wants to buy coffee and the cashier told her that okay but if you buy together with the breakfast set, it will be cheaper and worthy. The lady simply shake her head without even letting the cashier finish her words. After the cashier gave her the coffee and punch the cost, she said oh I just realize that it will be cheaper with the breakfast set. DUH!!!! People are funny sometimes, they tend to blame others without thinking what actually happen and how did you contribute to the mess in the first place. Well I am sometimes not excepted.

Well, it's a good thing to reflect. So start from today I will LISTEN.

P/s: The two deaf-mute guys in the train actually talk to their friends today via video call. How cool is the technology?!?

It's In Malaysia! Meanwhile....

2012-04-28T11:01:00.001+08:00

Hello Hello Hello (somehow it feels like Count Olaf saying it)

Today is 28.4.2012, it marks the "Bersih 3.0" in Malaysia. Some of my friends even took leave just to be at the rally. I don't know but I feel like it is a one sided, this rally thing, hence it explain of me not joining. Why not an open debate or something more professional. Urging youngster to join rally to get what you want sounds juvenile to me. But anyhow everybody eligible for an opinion. So while we here having Bersih 3.0, lets peek at others! (It just for fun! hope no harm done here! Smile...)

Bersih 3.0 Rally

Happy Saturday!!!

I'm Going To Cranberries Concert!!!

2012-03-27T11:00:00.000+08:00

Cant wait!!!

Note: I'm practicing my head banging for this song!

Dance Me To The End Of Love

2012-03-15T10:05:00.000+08:00

Finished one painting for Mr.Bf the other day. We name it "Dance Me To The End Of Love". Our favorite song from Leonard Cohen.

Moi working on it

33" (L) x 48" (H) - Acrylic on Canvas

Contact me for more detail.

I'm All About Bang and Full Lips

2012-03-14T13:49:00.000+08:00

Being pretty is costly people! Just for this haircut, I had spent RM200 and that does not include the shampoo and conditioner and the oil that according to my stylist will change my hair "magically" to a celebrity look a like. Sigh..it's too soon I guess, the transformation. 2 days before I change to this hairstyle, I dyed my hair. So now instead of flowing smoothly, my hair started to break up on some strands. Hmm.. any idea of what should I do?

Note: What is your worst hair experience?

If Words Can Describe Everything (Being Unmotivated)

2012-03-13T13:01:00.001+08:00

I just realized that the last time I pay a visit to this blog is 3 months ago! Whatever happened between that only God knows! As I recall, I went to Cape Town, went for driving test and fail, went to some sort of a state (lazy and messy) and the list can go on and on.

Sigh...there is so much to do and no energy to do. I need to loose some weight already! People nowadays offer me a sit in a train because they think I'm pregnant! Not that I'm complaining as the train is always make me dizzy. But anyway, that is to describe my state of "love, care & devotion" to food!

So, how are you guys in these past three months? Care for some chit chat? I will try to come back for this blog as much as I can after this.. (promises promises). But do remember, from the words of an Anonymous, "Out of sight, out of mind!". Hehe.. Till then take care and be true to yourself!!

Chow!

This picture got nothing to do with feeling unmotivated, but recently I've been talking to Mr.Bf that I like fine hair, it looks sexy. I didn't realize that I got fine hairs too! Am I considered sexy then? Just a thought!

Breakfast for Champion!

2011-11-22T10:25:00.001+08:00

Every morning for Mr. BF

From the master chef, on bed!

p/s: being my boyfriend is a bliss! (even if I have to say it myself)

Monday Excitement

2011-11-14T11:02:00.002+08:00

I've been singing to "This Little Light of Mine" in my mind all morning today. I need to get it out of my systems! So let me singing it for you guys!!

This little light of mine,

I'm gonna let it shine

This little light of mine,

I'm gonna let it shine

This little light of mine,

I'm gonna let it shine

Let it shine,

Let it shine.

Hide it under a bushel? No!

I'm gonna let it shine

Hide it under a bushel? No!

I'm gonna let it shine

Hide it under a bushel? No!

I'm gonna let it shine

Let it shine,

Let it shine.

P/s: I feel like an African American kid with braided hair holding candle right now!

Can I Be Your Gothic Princess?

2011-11-11T14:57:00.000+08:00

Like every other year, November marked the day for the Company Annual Dinner. This year theme is Masquerade Night. I was contemplating between Mute Artist, Sherlock Holmes and "Simple" Masquerade dress, simple means just normal dress not a crazy Venetian or Elizabathan or anything.
After deep thinking, I decided that this year I'm going to be simple compare to all Zorro Lady personae last year. So here is the dress that I bought from ebay. What you guys think about it? The idea is "Gothic Princess" from top to toe. Will update the photo after the event. Anyway, any idea on the accessories?

This is my dress

This is how I want to look like

When Your Boyfriend / Husband is "Mat Salleh" (White Guy)

2011-11-03T14:22:00.000+08:00

Language differences can be funny sometimes

I love him, really I do but when it comes to telling gossips or stories, I would say some gossips and stories are better told in Malay. Few times when I am in the peak of gossiping, I like to use Malay proverb. But then he couldn't understand what I mean. So I have to translate the proverb in English which ending up sounds peculiar. Nevertheless, he is such a charming, whenever I tell him things in translated Malay, he learned to nod and agree, so my story cut short and he can continue with whatever he is doing.

The example of what I translated (chuckles)

1. Sambil Menyelam Minum Air
Meaning: Taking Advantage
Translation: Drinking Water While Diving

2. Sudah Jatuh Di Timpa Tangga
Meaning: Having Bad Luck Over and Over Again
Translation: Fell From The Stairs and Being Hit By The Ladder
English Closest: When It Rains It Pours

These two are the most used proverb in my "gossips". What are yours?

Sudah Potong? (Circumcision)

2011-11-01T11:33:00.001+08:00

Last weekend I went back to my hometown in Ipoh for my cousin "Majlis Berkhatan" (The Ceremony for Circumcision). It is a custom for Malay to be circumcised when they reach certain age. My cousin, is in his 10, we teased him and terrorized him a little bit to make him scared. I hope he did well. Because he is still such a baby in our eyes. Anyway, it is not that easy to brace yourself to be "cut", my brother ran away from it 2 times mind you. LOL!

Note: What is your funniest "berkhatan" story?

The classic way of resting after "berkhatan"

Old Already But Don't Have License!!!!

2011-10-29T11:41:00.001+08:00

For whatever reason given, there are no denying that driving licence is necessary. Even in your job application you have to state there what kind of licence you have. So, BOOOOOO to anyone who doesn't have license. I take this opportunity to urge everyone here especially woman, PLEASE GO for driving license!

Actually, I just registered myself last week. At 29 years old? I know, lame right? But I promised you I am not the oldest people there! So it is not too late guys!!!!

So What if I Have A Big Feet?!!

2011-10-27T15:08:00.001+08:00

You know what they said about a person who have big feet?

They wear big shoes of course!

If I am happened to be the other "dominating chauvinist gender", maybe I won't mind having a big feet, but as a gentle young lady, it is actually not preferrable to have big feet. Look how they describe people with big feet, the ugly step sister in Cinderella, they all are well..ugly. Oh and the hassle that you have to go through in finding shoes that you want! Always I come across a few shoes that I am dying to have, pointed stilettos (who doesn't), sexy boots, shoes the kind of Lady Gaga best friend etc etc etc, but it turns out that they don't have my size. Few of the sales girl or worse, sales guy that give me this look that screamed "you not so gentle lady with big feet", and some are even nastier by trying to shove my feet in shoes that are meant for baby I think!

I guess it will be easier if I live in western country, with everyone wearing big shoes, I will look 2 times smaller!

My pointed red stilettos are size 9! embarrassing....

This Is Love..

2011-10-24T14:33:00.001+08:00

Your boyfriend make breakfast for your birthday.

With Heartshape tomato ketchup somemore!

Stomach Flu

2011-10-24T14:20:00.000+08:00

After my birthday celebration the other day, I was down with Stomach Flu. It is horrendous. It feels like gastric attack but somehow you lost appetite and moody. I was crying and crying. Then Mr.Bf brought me to the doctor and he confirmed it. Hmm.... should be careful when eating out next time.

do the fetus position, it helps.

A Very "Happy" Birthday

2011-10-21T14:10:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to update you guys on the birthday topic but then i fell sick to the core weeks after that, alas better late than never right! I can say that my birthday this year is well presented by Mr.Bf in a thoughtful way. What ever Lola wants Lola gets! To all friends (and foes) that did remember, thanks millions! and hope you guys have a nice day!

Roses from Mr. Bf

He also gave me matching flower to wear to mark me as birthday girl!

(confound those who found it OTT, lol)

With my besties that did the honor to dance with moi

P/s: Thanks Nuffnang for 4 free movie tickets! We watched Johnny English! Freaken hilarious!

My Birthday is on 26th this Month...

2011-09-08T11:38:00.000+08:00

Purpose of having this title is to ask you people to prepare for my birthday present! Compulsory.

Mr.Bf asked me that day what I want for my birthday, actually I like if he can surprise me a bit but you know guys and gift, they don't get along! So its better that I tell him what I want. Does it make me vain? Yes for sure but i rather be vain that be fake.

So Mr.Bf take notes okay!

First of all I want flowers. Roses specifically. Not necessarily have to be extravagant, one is also okay as long as it is from you.

Then I want this out fit, the whole of it. Take notes on the details (button white shirt, fitted blue jeans, red stilettos)

Then I want to have steak. (romantic dinner), because you want it to be close to our house so I chose Tony Roma's.

So, that's about it. We'll see whether he take notes when I blog about it later. Lol!

Note: I am serious about you guys giving me gift.

Ferocious Looking Goth! (Facebook Profile Pictures Story)

2011-09-07T11:05:00.001+08:00

I was editing my facebook profile yesterday when I came across few weird looking and noticeable profile picture and here are a few that is worth a laugh at myself.

Goth - I found lots of female that love this kind of pose but mostly teenagers (in my defense, I am teenager at heart), maybe I should send this picture to the producer of Twilight to see whether I am qualified as one of the vamp. This was taken with web cam, we just bought the web cam and I tried it.

My sister (pixie hair) just completed her police training when we took this picture, see how short her hair was. But I love her look, she looked sexy.

This was taken on the boat ride in Malacca River, the boy next to me had sea sickness (maybe river sickness in this case) and vomited all over the seat, nearly missed my feet.

This was taken in Sports Bar, Bangsar when I did Seven Days of Love Mission for Mr.BF. We acted like we were a complete stranger that try to pick up each other. It was memorable and if I have to do it all over again in my life, I will still choose him.

This was the first time I curled my hair, some say I look better with curly hair but I hated it, it aged me up! This was taken during Halloween Party in my friend's the Art Cafe, SS2 PJ

This picture was taken in my friend's house BBQ party. We were playing charade and I'm waiting for my turn.

Me and Mr.Bf during the Seven Days of Love Mission in Sport's Bar, Bangsar

This picture was taken after I gave birth to my second girl and I got a haircut and new look for post pregnancy look. (You dont want to now how I look when I was pregnant, even Hantu Kak Limah looks better)

This was taken during my company annual diiner. The team was Wil Wild West and I was the Zorro Girl

Camwhoring at home. There were a few people that thought I am shemale because of this picture, LOL!

My sister said I looked like Ah So when I had this curly hair.

I love my hair this time, I think bob really suits me

This was the worst period in my life, partying hard almost every night. Thank god I passed it.

This is another picture that so called Gothic look. For whatever it means, haha. This picture was taken when I just moved to a new condo in Setapak.

This picture was taken in one of the Bistro in Malacca. It's my first time visiting Malacca after 16 years. It is amazing! The state minister Ali Rustam, just passed by for his town visit.

This was taken also after I gave birth to my second child.

Looking back at all these picture sometimes make me reminisce about how a big step happening in my life and I am glad for whatever move I took.

p/s: what is your profile picture looks like?

Eid Mubarak 2011

2011-09-05T13:29:00.002+08:00

Last week I went back to kampong to celebrate Hari Raya (Eid Mubarak) with my family. This year celebration is a bit modest as one of our great uncle just passed away (God bless his soul). For all Muslim all over the world that celebrate Eid Mubarak, I would like to take this opportunity to wish you Eid Mubarak, sorry if I ever do wrong to you and may you be blessed always.

Cheers,

Pixie

Ms.Pixie with da brood

Ms. Pixie and Mr.Bf in traditional outfit (once in a lifetime for you guys to see me in this dress, chuckles!)

Snakeskin Peep Toe :)

2011-08-25T10:22:00.001+08:00

After long consideration on whether it's a good day to do shopping for Hari Raya during this hectic shopping fever, we decided to Just Do It yesterday evening. Lucky for my budget strict list, we finish in 4 hours (Mr. BF is not so happy with this because it exceeding the said 3 hours I promised him). This year theme is olive green so I spotted this delicious snakeskin peep toe from Voir and grab it for good.

cool

I am hereby declare myself 3 inch taller.

I got some for my girls too!