A natural response to “I’m working on my novel” is “What’s it about?” I’ve discovered in the past month that I hate this question.

In my “Tell Everyone” post, I said that sharing your writing projects with others is a wonderful, necessary thing to do. And I full-heartedly believe that, but at this stage of my novel, I have no earthly idea what’s going on. I’m currently 10 pages in and working on the second chapter, but I still don’t know.

I can’t decide if I want to create an outline or keep letting it write itself either. If I had an outline, then I’d already know what was going on and I’d be happy to tell you what I’m writing.

All I can tell you right now is that I have a female protagonist named Jackie and that it’s going to be a fantasy novel.

So, when someone asks me what my book is about, I yell, “I don’t know,” throw things at them, and run away, crying. At least, that’s what I do in my head. In real life, I say, “I don’t know….” and frantically attempt to evade any other questions about my project and change the subject.

How do you answer this question? Am I the only one who feels like it’s such a big issue?

In reality, I know more about what I’m working on right now than what I told you in the paragraph before last, but I don’t want to share yet. I’m not ready to–I think it’s still too raw. And I’m afraid people will think the concept is silly.

I love this sentence because

1. It holds me accountable. If I tell my family, friends, coworkers, and random people I meet this sentence, I better actually work on it. Because, at some point, one of them is going to say “How’s that story coming?” or “I saw you on Facebook all day–why weren’t you writing?” or “When’s that book of yours coming out?”
2. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. This is especially true since I spent most of 2013 not writing much at all. After graduating college and having a lull in my writing, this sentence makes me feel proud of myself, what I’m doing, and what I’m capable of.
3. It makes me feel good. If I say it aloud often enough, I’ll start believing myself. And then, I’ll be in awe with myself…being a writer writing and being in love with the fact that you’re a writer writing is a beautiful thing to hold in your heart.
4. The look on non-writers’ faces… I know this sounds bad, but there is a difference in the way that writers and non-writers will react to this sentence. They’ll both be super proud of you and encouraging, but some non-writers can’t wrap their heads around such a big writing project.

These are just a few reasons why I share my work and why I think that every writer should share their projects.

Thoughts?

Inner Demons
By Seanna Lyn Wilhelm

If you sneeze,
and nobody blesses it,
what happens?

Does some invisible demon
of your sin
filter out of your nostrils,
not banished
back inside with a simple pair of words.

I wonder
what it does outside. I bet it’s
confused and scared.

Please, God, bless all my sneezes
so that I can
keep my demons safe from the world.

Writing requires a great deal of thinking, of delving into your own soul to discover your self and your words and try to explain your own universe. I haven’t wanted to do a lot of serious thinking. It requires growing up, looking at your successes and failures and those times when you decided to sit and do nothing. It requires reflecting on your past and making decisions about your future.

You have to truly know yourself in order to dare create other people and places. I haven’t wanted to know myself.

This is essentially what I’ve been doing this year while on hiatus.

In January, I started my last semester of college, which I told you would be a doozy.

In February, my grandpa passed away.

In March, I wrote a poem.

In April, I celebrated my five-year anniversary with my boyfriend.

In May, I graduated from college, had one last week of summer vacation, then started working at a new job.

In June, I became a bit of a workaholic, working as a greater Mon-Fri and a cashier on Sunday evenings, saving money for a future that I didn’t yet have defined.

In July, I started writing a novel that I’m about 10 pages into right now and I’m excited about it.

It’s August, and I’m starting full-time at my main job on Monday, turning 22 on Tuesday, and applying for an apartment soon.

In September, I’m going to Disney World with my mom.

I don’t know about the rest of the year yet. It seems like there’s only a short time and a long long time at the same time.

I’m not going to make any promises, but part of my life plan is currently blogging. So, hopefully, you’ll be hearing a lot more from me starting next week. Thank you for listening to me ramble.

I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.

Tomorrow,
I’ll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody’ll dare
Say to me,
“Eat in the kitchen,”
Then.

Besides,
They’ll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed—

I, too, am America.

I can’t count the number
of times I’ve been told
to be strong by myself and others,
but it isn’t working.
I can’t handle it
And there are little spots
of light stuck
to my eyes like sugar crystals.
These bitter salt
crusts make it difficult
to open my mind,
but I don’t want to anyways
because that only
makes me bleed and I
don’t want these tears
to turn red
and I can’t handle it.
I can’t breathe.
If I do, bile rises
in the back of my throat
and these shards of
sugar crystal salt
forces itself behind my lids
and I can’t handle it.
And by “it” I mean the hole
left by your death.
But “hole” doesn’t capture
what this misery is.
My wings have been clipped,
my claws smashed out with a hammer,
and all the rainbow making magic
in the world has been flushed
down the toilet of dejected
dreams and what ifs and
whys and plans that no longer matter.
My depths are heavy,
frantically trying to escape
these useless cells
that were once a woman
who loved life.
I can’t handle it.

Talk

Some days,
I just want you to talk.
I’d give anything to hear your voice,
as you ramble on as you do.
When there feels like
there’s broken glass in my throat,
and pain in my heart and head.
I just need to let
your words wash over me.
And though there’s no substitute for real life,
I’ll listen through the phone,
the sound of your words across the wires,
160 miles from home.
It almost seems enough to fill
the gap between here and there.
Phone lines that stretch across,
connecting me to you but offer nothing more.
And in the silence just past midnight,
I’m afraid to say “go to sleep”
because I’m not ready to say “goodnight”.
When the dial-tone pulses in my ear,
I sit awhile in the silence
wishing you were here.
But I’ll keep your words close to heart,
enough to get me through our
days apart, to make it ‘til we talk.

The Fall

As the screen flashes “Night of the Living Dead”
leaves fall from trees, moaning and howling
like coyotes in the moonshine
that burns as it goes down the throats
of children at parties, bobbing for apples, and remembering
the days they dressed up to beg for candy at the doors of strangers
who secretly wished to keep one of them chained
to the bed until Thanksgiving, giving thanks
for all of the beautiful little children that came
before them, now planted in the back yard,
ready to sprout when spring comes back around.

I write with my legal name. A few years ago I began including my maiden name, Durrant, because I was concerned that there would be an assumption or confusion regarding my background. Within months of getting married, I started receiving mail and phone calls in Spanish, and I was often greeted with “You aren’t Teneice Delgado” when showing up to the first day of a job or at an interview. I wanted to make sure, as best I could, that there weren’t any confusions.

2. Where/how did you study writing?

I did my undergrad at the University of Toledo in creative writing with a poetry concentration and I earned an MFA in Creative Writing from Spalding University’s Low-Res program and an MA in Literature from the University of Toledo.

3. What all have you had published?

I have three chapbooks published:

Flame Above Flame (2006) Finishing Line Press, Georgetown, KY

The Goldilocks Complex (2009) RockSaw Press, Mankato, MN

Burden of Solace (2012)  Červana Barva Press, Boston, MA

Plus poems in various journals.

4. What’s your favorite piece of writing that you’ve created?

I really love the characters I’ve created in Goldilocks and in Burden of Solace. I think Burden of Solace is my favorite because of how much time I spent with those poems. It took me about 6 years to write that chapbook. A lot of research and revising and sitting up crying with the characters.

5. Tell us a little about the publication process.

For me, it’s been more about really being open and talking to a lot of people. I spent a lot of time talking to other publishers, not shopping my book around, but developing relationships in a community. So when I had these two chapbooks, I had a good idea of where they might fit, which press might work with them.

6. What advice would you give to beginning writers?

Read. Read a lot. Read different styles, different time periods, different regions, different backgrounds. Read “unknown” people. Read books from small presses because they are doing some dangerous and thrilling work. Be in love with sounds and with finding the just-right word.

Support other writers: go to their events, buy their books, if you can. Attend conferences, even small local ones.

7. Why did you start writing?

I don’t think I could help it. I was one of those kids that would staple loose leaf paper together, draw a cover on the front page and write a story on a Saturday afternoon. I have always been an avid reader so I think my desire to write grew from there.

8. Tell us a little about your writing process.

Well, I have three kids, so I tend to ruminate, to turn phrases or images over and over in my head. When I get a free minute, I write it out and revise from there. My writing happens in starts and halts.

9. What is your favorite book/author?

Right now I’m knee-deep in Head Off and Split by Nikky Finney.

10.       Free write anything you’d like to add.

Thanks!

get my chapbook here: http://www.thelostbookshelf.com/d.html  scroll down

visit my website here: www.wingedcitypress.com