I Can't, My Legs Are Tired!

MJ's Christmas List....

2011-08-30T19:15:00.000-04:00

During dinner a few nights ago, MJ announced one of his must have items for Christmas. It went something like this:

"Mommy, for Christmas I want an X-Ray of my bones. I really wanna see my bones."

"Well M.J., I'll see what I can do."

How the hell do we come up with that? He just set us up for failure. He's totally gonna be disappointed on Christmas morning.

Why couldn't he just ask for more cars from Disney's Cars 2????

Neglect

2011-08-30T19:11:00.000-04:00

Neglect. That's what this blog has been getting. Neglected. I don't have time for this nonsense. It is fun to keep track of MJ and his shenanigans though, so I will do my best.

Poor MJ. Kids got strep. And when he gets strep it's nasty. He's got the nastiest looking tonsils I have ever seen. They are literally fighting each other for space in his throat, they are so huge on a good day. They most definitely contribute to his snoring issues. Yeah he snores, it's so cute. Not really.

We had to take him to a walk in clinic because of that jerk Irene, his pediatrician had no power so the office was closed. Knowing how bad he had strep last time he couldn't wait to be seen. Once he was confirmed with strep, we went to get his RX filled. The husband told MJ he got it flavored with grape which really soured his mood since MJ hates grape flavored medicine. After getting it changed to Bubble Gum he was all smiles.

The husband picked up some more Ibuprofen for MJ today and do you know what flavor he got?

Grape.

And do you know what MJ's response to him was?

"Daddy, we had this discussion in the car yesterday. I do not like grape. I only like Bubble Gum."

"Well, he told you." I replied

What is happiness?

2011-06-05T18:43:00.000-04:00

This evening, after trying to explain in four year old terms what "happiness" means - I asked M.J. what makes him happy. I was thinking I would get some response like cars, trains, turkey & cheese sandwiches. You know - the stuff four year olds love.

His response?

"I'm happy when I don't hit Lucas."

Awesome.

Are you asleep yet?

2011-04-18T18:48:00.000-04:00

Remember when you were a kid and you would take a long car trip with your family, well at least it seemed like a long car trip to you when you had no concept of time and distance. Anyways, you repeatedly asked "Are we there yet?" to your parents to the point that they wanted to drive off a cliff?

I had a night similar to one of those car trips last night. Funny how most of my stories revolve around bedtime.

I was laying down with MJ and as my usual told him Goodnight, close your eyes, and go to sleep. Two seconds later I hear:

"Mommy, are you asleep?"

"No."

"Are you asleep now?"

"Shh."

"Why is the door shut?"

"We always close the door. Go to sleep."

"Are you asleep?"

"Shh."

"Mommy, go to sleep."

"Shh."

"Why do YOU keep saying that?"

"Stop talking."

"Mommy, go to sleep."

"I can't go to sleep because you keep talking."

"Are you asleep yet?"

"Shh." (Trying not to laugh)

"Why are you laughing?"

"Shh."

"Mommy, if you don't go to sleep you're going to be grouchy tomorrow."

(Okay, first - I can't believe he said I would be grouchy! I am never grouchy. Bitchy yes. Grouchy no. And never to him, only people who deserve it. You know who you are. And second - it was pretty damn funny when he said it, I was trying to hold the laughter back.)

"Shh."

"Mommy, your going to be tired...go to sleep."

At this point I could see him sneaking off the bed and creeping to the closed door.

"M.J. I can see everything you are doing right now. Get back in bed."

"I was just gonna open the door."

"Go to sleep."

He finally fell asleep shortly after that, but really. I lost track of how many times he asked me if I was asleep.

Why do you keep saying that?

2011-04-11T19:53:00.000-04:00

I love bedtime and the struggle that goes with it to get M.J. to dress himself, pee and brush his teeth.

Tonight is currently no different.

It's 7:30. I have a naked 4 year old running around and an almost 2 year old running around in just a diaper. When I say naked, I mean naked. After repeatedly asking him to get dressed, begging him to put his pajamas on, yelling at him to put his pajamas on to the point that I now have a headache, he looked at me and said:

"Why do you keep saying that?"

Why do I keep saying that? Because you are not listening to me.

He continued on saying "I don't want to get dressed! I LOVE being naked!" as he streaked through the living room.

"You need to get dressed."

"I want to be naked."

"Get dressed."

"No, naked."

"No bedtime stories."

"Fine, I'll get dressed."

Mommy wins!

(Most times I can't keep a straight face through these conversations with M.J.)

What's that thing in the back of your mouth?

2011-04-10T21:18:00.000-04:00

One day, M.J. inquisitively asked me "What's that thing in the back of your mouth?" So I told him it was called a uvula.

Next he wanted to see pictures, so I did what any parent would do. I goggled "uvula" and showed him a picture. He asked a few questions and I thought that was it for the uvula.

Little did I know, it was the beginning of his obsession with the uvula.

A few days later, we were eating dinner and M.J. looked at me very seriously and said "Mommy, can I see your uvula? Can I touch it? Can I pull it?"

Can you pull it? Stay the hell away from my mouth kid. He did attempt to jam his hand in my mouth a few times, but he never got to my uvula.

The next night at dinner, MJ said to Lucas "Lucas, open your mouth real big just like this - so I can see your uvula!" Lucas didn't comply, he just stuck his tongue out at him and threw his dinner at him like usual. Normal dinner routine.

The boys both recently had their first dentist appointments. M.J.'s was delayed because, well, he's not the best patient. I tried getting him excited about going to the dentist. The only thing he cared about knowing was if the dentist was going to see his uvula. So to try to get him more excited, I told him he could ask the dentist all about his uvula! Well that didn't work. He freaked out at the dentist's office. Full on crying, flailing, writhing - he broke out into hives.

The hygienist, the poor girl, tried so many things, even threats that the dentist was going to have to come in. At one point he finally calmed down to complete his cleaning. At the end you know how the kids get a prize? I told her they should have a prize for the parents - of nippers. It was awful.

I hope he never has a cavity, I said he'd need nitrous, the hygienist said he would need to be hospitalized.

Give me that fish...

2011-04-06T21:23:00.000-04:00

Today went like most days, went to work, couldn't wait to leave work and then went to pick up the boys from daycare.

The Director said to me she tried calling me at home (Um, I was at work which is why my kids are in daycare) because MJ had been coughing a lot all day. My hope that his allergy meds would kick in and kill the cough was not coming true. Time for an impromptu trip to the doctors office. Tonight.

Thankfully my mom planned on stopping by around 6:30 and the office had an appointment for 7. Perfect. Mimi can watch Lucas while I take MJ to the Dr.'s.

As I was scrambling around to get MJ ready to leave and also get Lucas ready for the evening my mom was helping MJ put his sneakers on. When MJ sneezed....

His response to his own sneeze? "That's disgraceful!"

I didn't even know he knew that word.

On to the Dr.'s office. Poor kid. Second ear infection in 3 weeks, 3rd ear infection in the past year and in his lifetime - so not bad. Just feel bad he's had two so close. At the Dr's they have themed rooms. MJ loves the fish room and made a personal request to have that room tonight. Can you guess why? It has the McDonald's Frankie the Fish on the wall...

Give me that fish....

So we pushed the button at the end of our appointment and let me tell you Frankie the fish is very loud. MJ danced all the way out of the room and down the hallway. The nurses and Dr were lovin' his moves.

There's no what in your where?

2011-04-05T21:19:00.000-04:00

Another night, another struggle with getting my son M.J. to get ready for bed.

After about the 400th time I told him to pee before going to bed, I finally said to him "M.J., this is the last time I am going to tell you to go the bathroom. Go now or go to bed."

My husband added sternly "M.J. go now!"

To which M.J. replied "But mommy, there's no pee pee in my nuggets."

I looked at my husband and said "Did he just say what I think he said?" and he replied yes.

I didn't even know how to argue with that. But he finally went, and there was pee pee in his nuggets.

What's in a name?

2011-04-05T21:13:00.000-04:00

The other day, after I posted another funny comment from my four year old, a friend suggested I start a blog compiling all these things he says because - well they are funny.

Hmmm. I never really thought about having a blog. Why not. But now I had to think of a name. Well, that wasn't so easy. So I asked some friends for suggestions and got some great ideas. I was ready to name my blog with a suggestion from a friend. As I was typing in "Snakes, Snails, and Uvula Tails..." I said to my son, M.J. "Please get your pajamas on for the last time." His response?

"I can't, my legs are tired!"

Voile! My blog was named!