I don't wanna see it coming.

Swords and tactics:

2011-06-26T22:27:00.001-07:00

Parting ways and killing lives

This is the point where we let go of each other's hands and bid goodbye.

We have gone a long way. Long ago, we were two souls traveling on our own, trying to win every combat with the challenges that come our way. We were almost consumed to death. We almost gave up. Yet, we found each other. We found a reason to stay strong.

I still remember how you impressed me the day we met. You swung your sword at full speed. In fact, had I not been that attentive, I might have been separated with my head. You were such a fighter—fierce, fast, someone no one could step one. I must say that I was impressed. No, I don't think I was just impressed. I was attracted. I was stunned. I was lulled into a feeling I wasn't expecting myself to feel at that point of my life. I feel in love.

I showed you what I've got—first, to make a good impression myself, and second, to make you realize that you would need me in your journey. I showed my tactics. I wasn't the battle machine type. I am on the system controls. I don't just fight in the arena; I control the battlefield. I manipulate all of it upon the palm of my hand.

Of course, you were more than impressed.

We went journeying together. We fought armies and won them without difficulty. We were the champions of the arena.

But then, I lied to you. I wasn't tough, really. I wasn't even brainy. All the things I have done are out of pressure and adrenaline. You were a natural fighter; I am a chicken trapped in some human male who had no choice but to serve as my host. I was a weakling. I was hiding in the shadows of my lies.

I wouldn't dare brought back to my memory that one day when you finally realized that I am just putting up a show. You saw my weakness. You saw the real me. You ran as far as you could. I didn't dare follow. There was nothing more to explain.

And then, we reach this path. This is the point where we let go of each other's hands and bid goodbye. Anyway, the blame should all be put over my never-sturdy shoulders. I must fed to the lions or vultures. I must be exposed to the world. I must be beheaded in the town plaza. I must be killed right away for what I've done. I must be killed by you.

You spared me, yes, but I might as well die than to be separated from you. It is not because I can't survive on my own. Even a weakling like me could survive by playing dirty tactics with the enemy. But then, I might as well die than to be away from my one source of life—you.

We are now to part ways. We are now to go on our own. I just don't know how far I could go from here. I don't know if I could even move at all.

Bagong Pinoy

2011-06-26T22:26:00.001-07:00

Mga bagong Rizal, mabuhay kayo!

Itinanghal kahapon ng Philippine Center for Gifted Education ang 35 na kabataan mula sa iba’t ibang dako ng Pilipinas at mula sa iba’t ibang antas ng paaralan bilang mga bagong Rizal, mga kabataan na muling bubuhay sa mga simulain ng ating pamabansang bayani at magiging modelo ng mga kabataan tungo sa pagiging mga tunay na pag-asa ng hinaharap.

Ang mga bagong Rizal na ito ay totoong kakikitaan ng mga katangian ni Rizal. Matalino. Masipag. Natatangi. Bawat isa sa kanila ay pinatunayan na kahit galing pa sa Mindanao, na kahit mahirap o galing sa hindi kilalang paaralan, may sinasabi rin sila na talagang angat sa iba. Tunay nga silang mga bagong Rizal. Tiyak, kung lalo nilang pagyayamanin ang kanilang kahusayan, makatutulong sila sa pagbangon ng matagal nang nakalubog na bansang Pilipinas.

Uso ngayon ang mga bagong bayani. Pero paano ka nga bang masasabi na bagong bayani?

Kung tutuusin, hindi naman hinubog sa perpeksyon ang mga bayani nang ating kasaysayan. Sa totoo lang, lahat ng mga taong ngayon ay may kani-kaniya nang rebulto, lahat iyan ay karaniwang tao rin. Nagkakamali. Hindi perpekto. Naglalasing din ang mga iyan. Nambababae. Naaakit din ng makamundong pagnanasa. Meron pa ngang bayaning may koleksyon ng pubic hair sa locket nya. Meron ding nagpapatay ng kapwa bayani dahil sa maling impormasyon. May nangtraydor. May nanloko at nagpaloko. May nagpaalipin sa mga dayuhan. May nangibang bayan para pansamantalang tumakas sa kalupitan ng mga umaangkin sa bansa. May nasilaw sa pera. May nang-agaw rin ng kasintahan. May pumatay ng kapwa Pilipino. May masamang adhikain. May bahing itinatago.

Pero ngayon, bayani ang tawag natin sa kanila.

Ang totoo, bukod sa sikat na konsepto ng kabayanihan na pagkamatay para sa bayan, hindi naman ang buong talambuhay ng mga bayaning iyon ang nakapagpabayani sa kanila. Sa isang yugto ng kanilang buhay, may nagawa sila, maliit man o malaki, na kahit papaano ay nakatulong na makapagpabago ng bayan sa madidilim na panahon nito. Hindi sila perpektong mga tao kaya sila naging mga bayani. Naging bayani sila dahil may nagawa sila.

Ngayon, sino ang pwedeng maging baging bayani?

Sabi ni Juana Change, habang ang mga OFW daw ang tinuturing na makabagong bayani ng ating panahon, ang mga naiwan sa bansa upang pagsilbihan ang kapwa Pilipino gamit ang kanilang kaalaman ang mas dapat na ituring na bayani. Sa akin naman, pare-pareho na iyan. Ang mga OFW, tumutulong sa ekonomiya ng bansa. Kahit pa sabihing para sa satili at sa pamilya nila ang kanilang sakripisyo, nakakatulong pa rin sila sa paunti-unting pag-unlad ng bansa. Ang mga naiwan dito sa Pilipinas, tumutulong naman sa manpower ng bansa. Kahit na ang totoo ay hindi lang talaga sila makaalis dahil mahal ang pamasahe o kaya’y walang oportunidad sa ibang bansa at natatakot sila makipagsapalaran, nakakatulong pa rin sila upang maiwasan ang brain drain sa Pilipinas. Parehong may nagagawa, parehong mga bayani.

Sa huli, hindi rin naman lahat tayo ay dapat maging mga bagong bayani. Kasi kung lahat tayo ay espesyal, mawawala na ang konsepto nito. Kasi pare-pareho na tayo ng estado. Wala nang aangat. Wala nang bayani. Higit pa rito, hindi na rin naman talaga magiging isyu kung bayani ka o hindi. Hindi ang titulo mo ng pagiging isang bagong bayani kundi ang nagagawa mo ang mas papakinabangan ng bansang ito.

Bago ka maging bayani, bakit di mo simulang maging Pilipino?

Respetuhin mo ang ating watawat at pambansang awit. Kilalanin ang mga simbolo ng bansa. Bumili ng sariling produkto. Mahalin ang wika. Tangkilikin ang sariling atin. Mahalin ang bansa.

Palasak na ang mga iyan sa totoo lang. Pero kahit alam na ng lahat ang mga iyan, kapag may tumutugtog na “Lupang Hinirang,” tatayo ka pero patuloy pa rin sa pagnguya ng kinakain mo. Text ka pa rin nang text kahit yung isang kamay mo ay nasa dibdib. Ni hindi mo alam na wala tayong konkretong pambansang sayaw sa ngayon dahil ang Cariñosa daw ay may halong Kastila at ang Tinikling naman ay hindi kaya ng lahat (lalo pa ang Harabas, ang mas mabilis na version ng Tinikling). Bumibili ka pa rin ng imported dahil mas masarap ang tsokolate ng US at mas mukha kang mayaman sa mga damit na tatak ibang bansa. Perpekto ka sa grammar sa Ingles ngunit hindi mo na naaalala kahit ang simuno, panaguri, at layon sa Filipino. Bumibili ka pa rin ng pirated. Gusto mo pa rin mangibang bansa.

Kasi hindi nga tayo perpekto. Pero baka naman pwede tayong paunti-unti na magsimulang maging Pilipino. Mahalin mo na ang lahat ng bansang gusto mo, pero magtira ka ng pagmamahal para sa bayan mo. Kahit maliit lang muna. Kapag naisip mo nang marami ka palang pwedeng mahalin sa Pilipinas, puso mo na ang kusang magbubukas ng malaking space para sa bayan mo.

Simulan mo lang muna sa hindi pagkakalat sa kalsada o kaya ay sa pagsunod sa batas. Kahit hindi ka muna gumawa ng isang malaking bagay na makapagpapabago sa buong bansa. Basta huwag ka na rin muna gagawa ng ikakasama ng paligid mo. Pagyamanin mo ang kakayahan mo. I-share mo sa iba kung may panahon ka. Magsikap ka muna bilang tao. Mabuhay ka lang muna sa ngayon para sa sarili mo at sa pamilya mo. Huwag ka lang gumawa ng masama. Sa tamang panahon, makikita rin ng bawat isa sa atin na, aba, oo nga, may naitulong rin pala ako.

Baka sakali, kung lahat tayo ay magiging matagumpay bilang indibidwal, baka iyon na ang maging malaking kontribusyon natin para umunlad ang bansa kahit paano. Maliit na bagay lang kung ikukumpara sa mga nagawa ng mga bayani ng nakaraan at, kung tutuusin, ay para sa sarili lang natin, pero may maitutulong ito. Maniwala ka.

Hindi natin kailangan maging mga bagong bayani lahat. Ang kailangan natin ay maging mga Pilipino, maging mga bagong Pilipino na sama-samang aangat para sa sarli, sa bawat isa, at sa bansa.

Bagong Pilipino, mabuhay ka!

Pakikipagtalastasan sa umiikot na mundo

2011-06-26T22:25:00.000-07:00

Sabi nila, English is the language of the prestige. Ingles kasi ang gamit sa pakikipag-usap sa iba’t ibang lahi. Dito nagkakaintindihan ang lahat. Ito ang wikang makapagkokonekta ng mga bansa.

Pero sa Pilipinas, nagiging masyadong prestihiyoso tayo sa paggamit ng Ingles. Masyado nating dinarama ang pagiging prestihiyoso kapag gumagamit ng wikang ito. Masyado nating dinaramdam at sineseryoso sa pinakamaling paraan ang paggamit ng wikang ang totoo’y hindi naman sa atin.

Bata pa lamang tayo, may English subject na tayong pinag-aaralan. Kinder pa lang ay bahagi na ito ng ating akademikong pagtuklas ng mga bagay sa mundo. Kung tutuusin, dapat ay matatas na tayo sa wikang Ingles dahil taon-taon ay binabalik-balikan at lalong pinagyayaman ang wikang ito habang tayo’y nag-aaral.

Pero iba-iba ang takbo ng dilang maka-Ingles ng mga Pilipino.

Kaya may mga batang daig pa tayo magsalita nito ay dahil maging sa bahay ay Ingles ang gamit nila. Hindi nila sinasabihan ang mga bata na kunin ang bola, ang sinasabi nila, get the ball. Hindi rin madumi kundi “baby, don’t touch that, that’s dirty.” Kahit pa anong punto ni yaya o kung saan mang probinsya siya galing, kailangan Ingles ang wika nya kapag ang bata na ang kausap.

Ang resulta, ang coniotic language. Karamihan o lahat sa mga batang lumaki sa mga mayayamang pamilya, lumalaking conio kung magsalita. Alam na naman natin kung paano yung ganong pananalita. Like we always don’t wanna make usap to these people when we see them make tambay in the malls or even sa mga slum areas, where they like make arte about everything na they see na madumi. Naghalo-halo na kasi ang wika sa bahay, sa school, sa yaya, at sa lahat ng nakakasalamuha nila na gaya rin nila. Kaya ayun, hindi na nila magamit nang maayos ang mga wika dahil halo-halo na nilang nakagisnan ang mga ganitong pananalita.

Kung tutuusin, maganda sanang training ang pakikipag-usap sa mga bata sa Ingles habang bata pa lamang sila. Iyon ay kung hindi na sasamahan ng arte. Naniniwala naman ako na mayroon ding mga mayayaman at mahihirap na kayang magsalita ng purong Ingles nang walang arte. Mayroon kasing ganun. Kakikitaan mo ng class at talino dahil sa paraan nila ng pagsasalita. Wala sa antas ng pamumuhay.

Iyon pa, ang persepsyon ng Pilipino, kapag nagsasalita ng Ingles eh bigatin na. Ang karamihan sa atin, kapag nakakarinig ng nagsasalita ng Ingles, napapa-wow. Iyong nagsasalita tuloy ng Ingles, mapapahiya na lang, kasi pag-uusapan siya ng iba. Kaya ayun, hindi na lang siya magsasalita ng ganun kung marami rin lang ang makakarinig.

Masyado natin binibigyan ng malaking atensyon ang pagsasalita ng Ingles sa maling paraan. Ang atensyon natin ay sa mga taong nagsasalita nito. Kung hindi pagkamangha ay inis ang pinapakita natin sa mga taong sumusubok na gamitin ang wikang Ingles. Kung hindi natin lolokohin ang mga nag-i-Ingles na magpa-burger sila dahil sa sinabi nila ay iisipin naman nating nagyayabang sila na may alam sila sa wikang iyon. Ang nangyayari tuloy, hindi na lang mag-i-Ingles ang mga iyon. Sa halip na nasasanay nila ang kanilang sarili ay tatahamik na lang at sa Filipino makikipag-usap. Para bang isang napakalaking bagay ang pagsasalita ng Ingles. Para kang sinaunang tao kapag may naririnig kang Ingles. Para itong isang apoy na una mo palang nakita sa buong buhay mo sa tuwing may gumagamit ng wikang ito. Para isang napakalaking balita ang simple mong pagsasabi ng “C’mon, let’s go,” isang malaking balitang may hahanga at pupuna.

Oo. May pupuna. Magagaling kasi ang mga Pilipino sa Ingles e. Kung tutuusin, kung grammar ang pag-uusapan, mas may ibubuga pa tayo sa mga native speakers ng Ingles. Sila kasi, basta masabi nila ang gusto nilang sabihin at basta naiintindihan sila ng kausap nila, magsasalita sila kahit mali-mali na. Kung paano tayo magsalita sa Filipino, na kahit mali sa konteksto ng balarilang Filipino, ganon din sila gumamit ng Ingles doon sa kanila. Sa bagay, ang komunikasyon ang mahalaga, ang maiparating nila sa kausap ang gusto nilang sabihin.

Ang mga Pilipino, magagaling sa Ingles. Kapag may nag-recite na kaklase at mali ang grammar, hagalpak ka na sa tawa. Minsan nga, sasabihin ng titser mo na hindi dapat pagtawanan ang mga nagkakamali sa Ingles, pero pag may nagkamali na, pati siya mismo ay tatawa. Kapag may maling signage sa bangketa, pipitsuran mo at ipopost sa blog mo. Kapag may nagkamali ng post sa Tumblr, ire-reblog mo kasama ang sarcastic mong pagtatama sa mali nya, ipi-print screen mo pa nga at bibilugan yung mismong pagkakamali. Ganyan kagaling ang mga Pilipino.

Mano bang itama na lamang ang nakikitang pagkakamali sa pinakamabait na paraan. Pwede namang simplehan na lang ang pagpuna, itama ang iba para makatulong. Lahat naman tayo ay nagkakamali, pero kung makapuna ka, parang kabisado mo lahat ng pasikot-sikot ng Ingles. Parang alam mo ang pagkakaiba ng simple past tense sa past perfect progressive tense at kaya mong ilagay ang lahat ng pandiwa sa lahat ng tenses nito. Parang alam mo ang lahat ng tamang gamit ng lahat ng punctuation marks, figures of speech, at ng lahat ng salitang Ingles sa diksyunaryo. At kung alam mo nga, sapat na ba iyon para ipagmalaki mo sa mundo? Sapat na ba iyon para matahin mo ang hindi magaling sa wikang Ingles? Mas marami pang bibilib sa’yo kung sa galing mo sa Ingles ay tumutulong ka para gumaling din ang iba. Mas katutuwaan at hahangaan ka pa ng iba.

Kung ikaw naman ang nasa kabilang dulo ng sinulid, huwag sasama ang loob mo kapag itinatama ka. Tulong nila iyon sa iyo. Huwag mong isiping nagyayabang sila. Mag-Ingles ka lang. Huwag ka mahiya. Gamitin mo kahit mali para matama ng makakarinig sayo.

Ang mga Koreano nga, dumadayo pa sa ibang bansa para lang mag-aral ng Ingles. Ang mga nagta-trabaho na, nag-e-enroll pa sa mga online teaching schools sa ibang bansa para kahit nasa subway sila o naglalakad papuntang miting, kahit sa sampung minuto ay may matutunan sila sa Ingles kahit sa telepono lang sila tinuturuan. At saka sila, ginagamit nila ang Ingles. Sa Korea kasi, kapag nag-Ingles ka, kahit mali, hahangaan ka. Kasi sinusubukan mo kahit paano. Kasi gusto mong matuto kaya ginagamit mo.

Ang totoo, ang tanging paraan upang matuto ka ng Ingles ay ang gamitin ito. Gamitin mo ito sa araw-araw mong buhay. Magbasa, magsulat, at magsalita ka sa Ingles. Kahit pa pamali-mali ka, gamitin mo. Kapag may pumuna sayo, magpasalamat ka at pinuna ka, at gamitin mo ang itinama nya sayo. Huwag mo kakalimutan ang mga itinatama sayo ng ibang tao. Maging magiliw ka sa mga tumutulong sayo na mapagyaman ang wikang inaaral mo. Buksan mo ang sarili mo sa pagkakamali at sa pagtatama nito. Pero huwag kang maging conio ha, at huwag na huwag mo ring kakalimutan ang wikang Filipino.

Ang pag-aaral ng wikang Ingles ay totoong mahalaga dahil ito ay isang paraan upang maging competitive tayo sa ating kani-kaniyang larangan. Hindi naman sa hindi natin minamahal ang sarili nating wika, pero nasa isang mundo tayo na kailangang makipagsabayan sa mga taong gusto ring umunlad gaya mo. Hindi ka naman matatanggap sa trabaho kung hindi mo kayang sumagot sa interview o sumulat ng sanaysay sa exam sa Ingles. Kailangan din nating matuto nito upang kahit papaano, makasabay tayo sa mabilis na pag-ikot ng ating mundo.

Ang Ingles ay isang prestihiyosong wika. Unti-unti nating aralin ito upang makasabay tayo sa hamon ng mundo. Kung sa tingin mo ay alam mo na ang lahat tungkol dito, tulungan mo ang iba na matuto sa paraang hindi sila mahihiya o mapapahiya sa pagsasanay sa paggamit ng Ingles. Pwede sigurong sa simpleng usapan ay magtulungan tayo para mahasa ang isa’t isa. Itigil na siguro natin ang paglasap at pagyakap natin sa English Carabao. Itigil na rin siguro natin ang paggaya sa kung paanong pagtawanan ng mga lahing magagaling sa Ingles ang ating pagsasalita. Itigil na natin ang pagtatapakan sa isa’t isa dahil lang sa kamalian sa wikang Ingles, nang sa gayon, hindi na rin tapakan ang mga Pilipino ng iba.

Sa huli, wala pa rin naman yan sa kahusayan mo sa paggamit ng kahit anong wika sa mundo. Ang mahalaga, maipasa mo ang mensahe mo sa ibang tao sa pamamagitan ng pakikipagtalastasan gamit ang wikang naiintindihan ng kausap mo. Ang mahalaga ay alam mo ang sinasabi mo at kaya mong ipaglaban ito.

Pakikibaka sa isang dekada ng pag-ibig

2011-06-26T22:24:00.000-07:00

Akalain mo nga naman, isang dekada na kitang minamahal.

Grade 5 tayo noon. Hindi naman tayo magkaklase, pero nakikita na kita sa malayo. Palagi lang akong nakatanaw. Palibhasa ay bata pa, wala lang akong magawa kundi ang tumanaw mula sa malayo. Minamasdan lang kita, sinusulit ang ganda na kusang bumubukal mula sa’yo.

Nakantsawan naman ako ng aking kaibigan na sulatan ka. Bata pa nga ako, kaya dala na rin ng damdaming noon ko lamang naramdaman, sinubukan ko. Nakikipagkaibigan lamang ako noon, ngunit ang bumalik sa akin ay ang sulat kong may karugtong na sulat ng iyong kaibigan. Pulang panulat pa ang gamit niya. Galit sya na sumulat ako sa iyo. Dadaan daw muna ako sa kanya.

Lumipas ang isang taon, pinapalipat ako sa section nyo. Sabi ko na lang, ayaw ko dahil nahihiya ako at may kaibigan na ako sa section ko. Pero ang totoo, nahihiya lang talaga ako sa’yo.

Natapos tayo sa elementarya at pumasok sa magkaibang high school. Palibhasa ay hindi pa uso ang text messaging, nakipagsulatan ako sa iyo. Muli, nakikipagkaibigan. Sumagot ka naman. Ngayon, ikaw na ang sumagot, hindi ang nakikialam mong kaibigan. Pakiramdam ko, sa bawat palitan natin ng sulat, nagiging malapit tayo. kahit na pinabibigay lang natin sa kaklase mo na kabarangay ko ang mga sulat natin, alam kong nagiging malapit na tayo. Tinawagan pa nga kita isang beses sa payphone, at habang sa tingin mo’y kalma lang ang boses ko, ang totoo’y magkahalong kilig at kaba ang nararamdaman ko.

Nagpalitan tayo ng mga kwento, ng mga hilig, ng mga larawan, ng mga karanasan. Masaya ako, dahil pakiramdam ko, nagkakasundo tayo. Nakakatawa pa nga kung paanong paborito ko na rin ang mga paborito mong kanta. Pinipilit kong gustuhin ang mga iyon, para dama ko na rin na kahit paano ay kapiling kita.

Bumilis ang mga panahon at naging abala na tayo sa kolehiyo. Nagkaroon tayo ng kani-kaniyang buhay. Umibig kang minsan sa iba at ganoon din ako. Naging masaya ka at abala, at ako naman ay nagsisikap rin sa marami kong akademiko at pang-organisasyon kong gawain. Akala ko, nakalimutan na kita.

Pero matapos ang lahat ng pagkaabala, biglang kang bumalik at binalikan naman kita. Naibalik ang koneksyon na akala ko’y tuluyan nang nawala. Nag-uusap tayo, nagkukwentuhan. Higit pa rito, tila lumalim ang pagtingin mo sa akin. Kung paanong pinararating mo sa akin na na-miss mo rin ako. Kung paanong sinasakyan mo ang paglalambing ko. Tila lumalim na nga, iyon ang akala ko.

Humaba na lamang ang aking gabi nang minsang bigla mo akong iwan. Di rin kita masisi. Di ko mabigay ang mga bagay na gusto mo. Ilang beses pa lamang tayo nagkita. Ni hindi tayo makalabas na magkasama. Alam kong nasa akin lahat ang mali. Pero ang totoo, nasaktan ako dahil sumuko ka. Higit pa rito, nasaktan ako dahil ako ang nagpasuko sa’yo.

Isang dekada na nga pala kitang minamahal. Sampung taon na akong nakatingin mula sa malayo, nagmamahal nang tumatanaw lang. Magkakalakas din naman ako ng loob eh, pero ang mali ko, isang dekada kitang pinaghintay dito.

Isang dekada na nga pala. Itutuloy ko ito. Itutuloy ko ito hanggang balikan mo ako. Salamat sa isang dekadang kinulayan mo ang buhay ako. Pasensya na sa kabalintunaan ko. Makikibaka pa rin ako. Pangako.

Human and proud:

2011-06-26T22:16:00.001-07:00

The countless tales of the weaklings of the universe

Humans, they say, are the weakest among all the living in the galaxies.

It has been theorized (or should I say portrayed in films) that our species is just a weakling if compared with all the species lurking with the stars that seem to twinkle from our view in the dusty atmosphere of the earth. Our capabilities are the laughing stock of the whole intergalactic system. Others would say that our race is not yet honed, that we haven't reached our full form yet. We are young compared with the numerous organisms outside our planet who could read minds, run at soul-separating speed, crush a massive planet into pieces finer than dust, and live a full-grown all-body-parts-enhanced life to the fullest.

I must agree to that. We are imperfect beings who are stuck in this planet until we are consumed to death. We are stuck with the way our systems go, and we will never be able to escape that unless the all-ruling aliens get themselves involved by just pulverizing the earth to end all these. We are stuck in a dreadful system forever.

We, humans, are not yet honed to the ways of the universe. We still falter over the slightest mistakes. We can't read minds. We can't even understand the very things that we see in front of us, much more those that are hidden in the minds of others. We can't understand the signs we see, the very reason why we can't follow them. We don't get what the laws are all about, the very reason why we all end up not abiding by them at all.

We can't run extra miles. We can't even use footbridges or go to the nearest pedestrians to go to the other side of the street. Yes, we could run just anywhere to avoid being hit by the cars that are overspeeding and hitting the red light, but that's not that fast to be proud of. We can't even walk a few meters. We instead use the pathetic vehicles that we have (compared with the space ships and the laser-emitting life-sustaining self-driving all-around battle vehicles of the galaxy creatures) to go to the next street. We can't run as fast as the speed of light. We can't even walk a lot because it is tiring and the heat of the sun is not helping at all.

Of course, none of us here could crush planets. We are too lazy to even try doing such a big task in the first place. We get too tired over the littlest of the things that we are told to do. We can't crush planets either because we can't or we won't.

Life on earth isn't the way the supreme creatures of the galaxies would want it to be. Our features, they say, are still young, pathetic even. We are so imperfect that, if it wasn't for their not giving a damn about our planet, the earth could have been shot by a thin laser that would make it explode into nothing. That's how they see us from I-don't-even-know-where. That is how humans are belittled.

We are weak. We make mistakes. We are lulled into making mistakes just by the simplest temptations. We surrender to our weaknesses right away. We commit mortal sins, ask for forgiveness, and commit them again just because of some petty tempting whispers of evil. We easily break apart. Our emotions are like eggshells that are so easy to crack. Our minds are not overloading with information. We don't know everything; we don't know a lot. We study and still know nothing. We surrender after every failure. We are easily consumed by our own selves.

However, the one thing that make us even stronger than the rest of space is our strong ability to overcome everything that comes our way. We are weak, but our strength is how we overcome our weakness. Those all-powerful aliens don't get to overcome these things because, in the first place, since they are saying that they are powerful, there is nothing more to overcome.

Humans, on the other hand, are battling with everybody's strongest enemy, the self.

Whenever we fall, we surrender until we see a tiny glow of hope, which we turn into a fiery light of success the moment we stand up. We learn after every mistake and use what we learn the next time we face another combat. We have weak emotions, but we always have a way of moving on and getting out of the shell in which we try to hide while mending. We don't know everything, but somehow, each of us has a unique way of figuring things out. We are lured into committing sins, but we learn in the process until we could finally overcome the temptations. We might learn things the long and hard way, but learning that way makes the lessons harder to forget. We don't have shortcuts, and people who learn the hard way are the hardest ones to break. No alien could ever do that.

We must use our vulnerability to improve. We can use our weakness to be strong. We are imperfect, but we have our ways of overcoming our imperfections. That's what being human is all about.

Now, call us weaklings one more time.

Of Fates and Pirouettes:

2011-05-24T19:49:00.001-07:00

Weaving Another Tragedy

We were holding hands as we wandered by the meadows.

I miss that day. You were in a dress that was simple and stunning at the same time. You laid your hair down and wore a simple headband. You seemed to glow as you turn, making your dress join you as you do pirouettes that could have been a move made from dreams and fantasies. Above all, you smiled a downpour of happiness. It was as if you were the happiest lass in town just because you got to be with me, which makes me the happiest lad ever.

I didn’t know if I could be a good pair to you. I was in my usual shirt and trousers, the type I wear when we usually go out. Fashion isn’t just my thing, so I just go with whatever I get from my closet. However, you were smiling as if I was just the other pair you were looking for, although, for all we know, I am human, yes I am, and you were that angel who went all the way down from heaven to spend some time with some filthy human like me.

But you didn’t mind. You just held my hand with one of yours and use your other hand to pick some nearby flowers as we walked. I wasn’t looking in the beautifully laid flowers across the field. I wasn’t looking at the view of the mountains from afar. I didn’t care about the clouds that looked fluffy in the blue sky. I just looked at you and your beauty, looking away whenever you notice how I adore your beauty, catching your eye for a second before I look somewhere else with my face turning red.

The feeling was surreal. It was an unexplainable mixture of all the positive emotions you could ever imagine. That was the climactic part of my life’s story, the most intricate design of my life in the loom of fate, the peak of my journey.

All of a sudden, as I was just enjoying my fortunate view of you, I noticed something. Slowly, you seemed to fade. I tried to tell myself that it was just my imagination, but indeed, we could never lie when reality is right before our eyes. Maybe, I was just feeling sick with the nausea of being too overwhelmed in your company, or it was just a trick the wind filled with dust do to make stars twinkle, although ours is way too short a distance. The real thing is not something you can just cover up.

I didn’t want to cut the spur of the moment. I didn’t want to cut this very moment short. I would dare trade anything and everything I have for a minute more. I know my mind can be read by the powerful above, but no matter how I shout all in my mind my desires for you to stay, you continued fading.

The wind blew one painful gust, and you were gone.

I screamed as if I were cut into pieces and still able to feel the pain. I was in the peak of my journey, and from that peak so high that the clouds had already hidden it in their embrace, I fell flat on the ground. Still alive. Screaming in agony. Should have been dead.

Why does this have to happen? Why are the best things the ones which don’t last long? Why am I always given the person who can never stay? Why couldn’t you and I be a proof of forever?

The wind blew another gust, this time cooler, and looking blankly into nothingness, I was still there, alone.

On Cliffhangers:

2011-05-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

Walking into the blinding paths of tomorrow

I was right.

I opened my eyes as if something stupefying has occurred to me while my eyes are closed. When we close our eyes, we still see something in the middle of nothingness, something bright but blurry at the same time. It was as if that something woke me up from my sleep.

And there I was, lying, gasping, trying to calm myself. It must have been a really bad dream, but I really can't remember it, although it seemed so important and terrifying at the same time. I tried to recall bits of what I have just dreamed about.

I saw a cliff, then I saw me. I was happily wandering into a nearby meadow. I was smiling, but my eyes seemed blank. They were beyond expressionless; they were blind.

Then, I saw myself run a little, looking at the sky. I don't know if I could really see them, but I was feeling the breeze of that morning. I felt like I was part of the wind. I felt free for a while, not until I saw chains that started to entwine into my body. I was then locked and couldn't move a bit.

Right now, I am imprisoned. I imprisoned myself into not being able to move by will. I don't know why, but yes, I locked myself, as I usually say, into a dreadful state of dementia.

Nobody wants to be locked in chains, but here I am, locking myself and even trying to get more chains to entangle myself into. Maybe, just maybe, I am doing this so that I couldn't go away, so that I wouldn't go astray.

The thing is, I don't know where to go.

I am stranded at this point of my life. I don't know where to go. There are a million paths waiting to be treaded, but I wouldn't dare go into one. I am afraid it would lead me nowhere. With that fear, I would have to stay here forever.

Just then, while I was chained in the middle of the daffodils in that meadow by the cliff, I discovered that I could actually shrug off the chains that embrace my system. Yet, still, I didn't move.

I know I am blind. If I would get away from this bind that constricts my volume, I would only end up walking again, and then, I would just fall into the cliff. If I just stay here, I would be safe but will soon be consumed to death little by little. Here, at least, I would just have to wait until it's time.

No, I can't just stay here, I thought. I stood up, wiggled a bit, and threw the chains away. I was blind, but I walked and hoped I found the right path to my journey. I don't know where I was heading, but I didn't mind.

Just then, with just one step, I fell into the cliff.

I woke up with the fall. I went into fetal position as I lied in bed. I sobbed. I was right. I would just end up falling and failing. I was better off chained until forever.

It then occurred to me that I woke up from that nightmarish scenario because I fell into the cliff. I was able to escape my nightmare because I chose to stand up and at least try.

Indeed, we are all better off acting up into whatever lies ahead than waiting in vain. No one really knows what is to come, but then, no one would really know unless everybody tries to get a better picture of the future. And the only way to see tomorrow is to go for it. We couldn't see what is to happen if we wait in the past.

Unraveling tomorrow is walking into a blinding light. We don't know which path to take, but no matter what happens, we will see just what we need to see when we get there.

I was right to make a move than wait without doing anything. It was, after all, the best and right thing to do.

Equiprobability Hype:

2011-04-17T21:59:00.000-07:00

On not wanting to see things coming

You see those night-mode-taken eyes, and yes, I don't wanna see things coming.

Apollo is the Greek god of prophecies. It's either you go to the Oracles of Delphi or straight to him if you want to wave off those clouds that hide your future. Rachel Elizabeth Dare, a character from the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, was given this same power, as she became a host of the Oracle of Delphi, who is in the form of green mist in the story. Kronos, the Titan god of time, might as well control time to have a glimpse of the future then go back and do his thing at present. He might have avoided his sons chopping him into pieces. Prometheus is also close to the future, having premonitions of what is about to happen; well, his name means 'forethought', right?

I wouldn't have liked my life if I were in their shoes. I have this fear of knowing the future. I don't even have the guts to try fortune telling, and I don't dare surf for death clocks and the like in the Internet. Indeed, forethoughts are not my thing.

It felt like I am plunging into a pool of what-if's when I think of the future. I don't if I would even like what is meant to happen or if I could even survive before whatever lies ahead takes shape. It makes me shiver. I fear that something ahead might eat me alive.

At first, that's how it goes. I am this crybaby fearing not to have milk tomorrow. I am wet with cowardice. I am suffering from a hopeless case of being a chicken.

Right now, I don't think it's the fear of knowing something bad to happen that makes me run away from anything that has a link with the future. I guess what I actually fear is that something ecstatically good is bound to happen and I am not a part of it.

And there comes equiprobability.

Equiprobability is a philosophical concept in probability theory that allows one to assign equal probabilities to outcomes when they are judged to be equipossible or to be "equally likely" in some sense.

Things in the future have equal chances of happening. Good things are likely to happen as much as the bad ones are. Nothing good is going to happen without you in it, and nothing bad either. They will all take shape, good or bad, without you noticing the whole of it. It is up to you as to how to take it. You have all the power to control which side becomes more probable to happen.

Worrying about bad luck to knock at your door in the near future doesn't make sense after all. You see, worrying is no use. Aside from the fact that worrying is the loss of trust in God, the more you worry, the more it becomes possible for what you worry to actually happen. Worrying is like absentmindedly wishing for that very thing to happen.

Also, we shouldn't seek for the future while we are living in the present. Knowing what the future holds is like preparing yourself for it. Sometimes, if what those fortune tellers see is bad, we try to avoid it, considering they really see the future with accuracy. For me, trying to avoid what is meant to happen is like running in place. You can't avoid it. You don't get anywhere.

Everything in the future is equiprobable. Bad and good things will happen depending or what you are gonna do. Different from trying to avoid what will happen when you know it where you might do anything, bad or good, just to change your future, here, you just do what is right based on your judgment. That is, based on your judgment now, period. Anyway, if you are doing the right thing now, you don't have to think about what the outcome will be. Goodness bears goodness, right?

Thus, we don't have to go running and looking for the future. We just have to live now. Don' waste your today worrying about tomorrow; otherwise, you'll miss a lot about today.

Don't look for things that are to come. Concentrate on those that are coming.

Mishaps at Nineteen

2011-04-06T08:31:00.000-07:00

To publish a self-made book is my greatest fantasy. Yet, I usually end up starting and not being able to finish one. One of the writeups I dare started was "Mishaps and Nineteen." Well, here is a prologue. That's all I got. It's a sort of young-adult fiction. The characters are supposed to have powers and stuff.

PROLOGUE

Everything’s clear to me as if I were there. Well, of course I was there. I mean, the turn of events is clear as if I could remember everything, as if I was not a baby back then.

I was once a part of a happy family, a family equally rich as well. I have a hardworking father for a dad and a loving all-around mother for a mom. My sister was acquiring the positive traits of my mom, and my brothers, quarrelsome as their age’s conventions, were proud adventurous youngsters. I also have my aunt, my dad’s sister, who was close to every one of the kids, including me, of course. There are times, a lot of them, when I would rather sleep with her that with my mom, which goes to show how much I love her in parallel.

Yes, my family was happy, as what my aunt would tell me now that I am a grown-up. In fact, there are a lot of things to tell about it.

While my dad was working in Russia as a chef, we lived with my father-side grandparents. They were sort of rich people. We, their grandchildren, were the luckiest ones. Grandparents love grandchildren more than their children; so, everything boiled down to us having all the favor. We get all the toys we wanted—a gigantic Barbie dollhouse and all the Barbie accessories for my sister Chloe; Power Ranger robots and all the upgrades for my brother Shannon; the same models and upgrades for his twin Gannon, or else they would fight over not having equal toys; and rattles, squishy balls, and all the toddler stuffs for me, none of which I could remember. Yes, we were rich kids back then.

On Saturdays, we used to go malling with the whole family. My mom, my siblings, and my aunt do this weekly routine. On a few times, Grandpa and Grandma went with us. On other occasions, they stayed at home, enjoying their rest after the week’s workload. I can’t remember anything about it either. My aunt just tells me that I was just being carried by my mom, while they all enjoy everything they see in the mall.

On Sundays, we had a feast for lunch. There were roasted chicken, grilled pork, and even Sinigang, one of the all-time Filipino favorites. Well, again I couldn’t remember. All I had was a bottle of milk and anything else I could chew.

We grew with that kind of life. We thought it wouldn’t end at all. We thought we were all destined to live that way. We thought it was all about destiny and living with it.

I run in circles:

2011-04-01T01:46:00.000-07:00

Rushing in where others fear to tread

No matter how I try to outspeed time, I found myself running and never even making a single step.

Making mistakes is human nature. We have inherited that from Adam and Eve, and there's no getting away from it. No matter how many times you bathe in holy water, you won't be able to get rid of the mass fate of being a sinner.

Yes, we tend to make things go the wrong way. We cut the wrong rope, step into the broken steps, turn the wrong direction, type the wrong words, click the wrong buttons, send messages to the wrong person, confide secrets with enemies and blabbermouths, apply jobs that don't suit us, sing out of tune, ride on a bus going to a different route, love the person that we're better off without, and live the life we'd rather not have. We get into all these troubles. It's something human, like we tend to be pulled by gravity into doing the things we should do the least.

I, for one, have been through an open-ended-roller-coaster ride of committing faults that I only realize when everything is over. I should have been awarded for being consistent in my craft of taking the wrong road in my life's journey. That is something I couldn't and wouldn't change.

I chose to hurt the wrong people. I do things that would eventually lead me to a bad situation. I fight back whenever my mom scolds me when I get home really late back in college. I meet the wrong people. I messed up with the wrong professors, although I sort of not regret it, ending with them getting it back to me through grades. I fail in getting what I really want. I plan the wrong way. I aim for things just when it is way too late. I set up erroneous priorities. I prefer temporary happiness to avoid pain, only to be hurt as soon as the happiness is over. I stumbled and chose to give up. I do things without second thought and regret them in the end. I search for answers for the wrong questions. I seize the moment just when the time isn't right or when the moment is over.

However, had I been given the rare chance to erase this faults I have committed and been committing, I would decline the offer. Yes, I have done worse than you could imagine. My life is already tainted with wrongdoings and shortcomings. Yet, I couldn't bear a perfect life in exchange of erasing those memories. I don't need a perfectly colored masterpiece. I'd rather have my picture splashed with unequally painted and not-so-matching colors. They make the masterpiece out of it.

The thing is, we are doomed to commit faults, but that mere fact is the only thing that holds us from being perfectly human. Being human is about not being perfect. That's the perfect state of being human.

Imperfections are those colors that seem not to match our own portraits. They make our daily living action packed. They make life a whole lot of fun.

Yet, don't devour too much with how our faults get the excitement all out. Faults are never an excuse to do the wrong things. They are not a free pass or a ride-all-you-can ticket to triumph.

The score behind making mistakes is the process of learning that it tries to inculcate in all of us. We would only commit the same mistakes over and over again if we would not apply what we learn from the previous faults.We would only run in circles and get nowhere.

We are entitled to do wrong things so we could learn to correct them. Yes, it would be a very dreadful process of learning, but that is how exactly we are going to learn. We usually find it hard to forget those lessons we learn the hard way, right?

Thus, in your quest in this battlefield of life, do not be afraid to get lost along the way. Don't be frustrated whenever you fail. In fact, failing will help you succeed. Go and chase every opportunity to make mistakes. Try shortcuts and detours. Beware of traps, but it's alright if you get caught by one, just so you'll know how those traps work. After that, you won't be falling into one ever again.

Don't get mad when the world is throwing stones at you so that you'll fall. Falling sometimes would keep you going.

Run in circles until you learn.

Into the Dark Tunnel:

2011-03-28T04:46:00.000-07:00

Fulfilling prophecies and getting nowhere

Whom do we ask for help if we don't know which way to go?

No. This time the map can't help us. The map can't help me anymore. Whether we like it or not, whether we beg or scream in pain, the map's no use already. We're lost. I am lost. The whole caravan is about to part ways, to seek for the right path on their own, to never mind anyone else's help.

After all my efforts in such long tiring sojourn, after bringing them all with me in life's test of survival, they're all gonna part ways now.

I guess I have to accept that there are journeys that ought to end. There are prophecies that end as soon as they get accomplished, ending together with the fates that get intertwined. You get a prophecy, try to fight it back if it doesn't seem to go with what you want, and still fulfill every word of it in the end. There's no escape, really.

The last time I took a better look of myself in front of the nearest mirror I could find, I saw I cool version of myself. I was having a good time travelling, I thought. I have a manageable supply of must-haves. I have a canteen of unlimited water, just perfect to survive from any drought that might come ahead. And of course, I have people to share my journey with. I have people with whom I could unravel the prophecy together.

But I have to look again at my myself now, I told myself. Am i still in good shape to go on? Do I still have a good amount of supplies to make me survive? Am I still travelling with my companions?

The thought made my shiver, in coldness or in fear, I don't know. Perhaps, looking at the mirror is not the right thing to do now. It won't make me better.

I know right. I am in this journey alone. They have all come and left. As I could see it, no one is willing to come back.

________________________________________________________

Just then, I reached the end of the tunnel.

I was having this trip via train when I woke up. I don't even know how the hell I got here. I was just travelling, that's one thing I know.

Beside me, I saw a few of my friends, people I am travelling with. I asked them where we're heading, but no one answered. No one really knows, but stay put; we will just have fun. That's all that they said.

I know these people will leave me soon. I don't know how I came to that conclusion, but I just know they would. One by one, in groups, or all in one blow, I have no idea. But I know they would leave soon, then I will be journeying alone.

Then, one thing hit me. It was a thought that somehow poked my whole system with a lightning bolt of some Greek God.

They might leave because they have own prophecies to fulfill, but they can always come back.

________________________________________________________

Besides, the more we worry about people we learn to give importance to leaving in our lives, the less we get to spend quality time with them while they are with us. We have to concentrate on enjoying every moment with them.

Don't dwell much with what lies ahead. Focus on what and who you have today.

Now, I am ready to hit another dark tunnel. Wanna join me?

Something is always meant to go wrong somewhere.

2011-03-28T03:13:00.000-07:00

Wish and you won’t get it. Fight and you’d lose. Search and get lost. Live healthy and get sick. Aim and fail. Soar high and fall flat on the ground. Laugh and sob into tears. Read and forget them all. Memorize and stutter. Crawl and get tangled. Jump and forget parachute. Reach and be avoided. Smile and get snubbed in return. Pay and get unpaid. Love and get hurt. Help and get stabbed. Live and succumb to ashes.

Something is always meant to go wrong somewhere until you learn.

On what birthdays are all about

2010-12-22T03:58:00.000-08:00

A POST-BIRTHDAY LITTANY (2010)

If you don’t feel special for the rest of your life, there would be always a day in a year that the whole day would be about you—your birthday.

The day wasn’t extraordinary. I just follow my usual routine robotically. I woke up, took a bath, ate breakfast, and left for work.

I wasn’t able to celebrate for my birthday. It was a Monday, a not-so-good-for-celebration day of the week. I had to go to work since I’ve been having a lot of absences lately. We weren’t entitled to a birthday leave yet. However, I was able to have a bit of a celebration the day before.

After four years, I was able to celebrate a little for my birthday. My mom cooked some food for me. I invited a few college friends, and the day went on so simple as that. There weren’t a lot of choices for something to feast on. There were no big boxes of gifts (in fact, I only got one present). There were no party poppers, no balloons (too elementary), and no after-parties.

Somehow, however, there are a lot of things I have to be thankful for.

I am now in my first year of entering the twenties. You might read this with disbelief, but yes, I have just graduated the teen years. I have been journeying for quite a long while now. I am lucky to have reached this time of my life. I didn’t have a good travel, you know.

My life, from before it was even started, wasn’t a good experience. We were once the happiest family one could have ever known. My brothers and I went to a good school, were both disciplined and given time to enjoy, had time for studying and for having fun, and were just the luckiest kids in town. We had cereals and milk every morning, and we expect boxes of toys in our stockings every Christmas morning.

Yet, things happen fast, and children weren’t allowed to meddle. We had no choice but to leave this life and went on to live in the other side of the world. We had ample food in our plate, but my mom had to work hard for it. I had no father, and obviously, I never felt how it’s like to have one. I don’t mind it, though. The difference of having one and losing it, and not having one at all is that, in the latter, you wouldn’t get hurt because you never felt how good having one was. There was nothing to miss or regret; I don’t know the feeling in the first place.

Still, we survived. I was able to graduate primary and secondary school. I entered college, enrolled under a program, and studied. I got into some organizations, which my mom and I used to argue about. Eventually, she was able to accept how badly I needed and wanted what I was busy doing in college. I learned, gained a lot of friends, and got some extra bonuses by the time I graduated college. There was my mom, who was so proud of what I have achieved, and there were my aunt and her family, who were always supportive to me. There were my mother-side grandparents who were happy to have seen what my mom worked for, and I also have my father-side grandparents who, even though they weren’t there, were proud as ever, too. There were my friends, my classmates and cograduates, and my mentors of four years, and there was I, finally closing one heavy chapter of my life.

And then, still feeling too childlike to work, I have to do something for a living. I applied for my first job days after graduation and grabbed the opportunity right away. From then on, I have been stuck in my station all day, getting the hell out of every paper I come across. Then, there was the routine.

They say I am lucky. Not everybody could have those things I have. Not everybody could achieve all those things I had in college.

I say I am not lucky.  Not everyone likes me. People sometimes look at me like I am a nobody. I have been rejected a lot of times, been a fool for things not worth all of it, been belittled even by my very seniors and mentors, and been prejudged like I were a criminal. I am not as good looking, buff, or rich as others. I didn’t have the things I wanted. I wasn’t liked by people I wanted to like me. I was unlucky like I am fated to be like that for the rest of my existence.

The night of my birthday, I had a little chat with my aunt. She was sharing some of the things she learned in her life. Long ago, she was my second mom, back when I was a little boy. We might have been apart as I grew, but we were always connected. More than a godmother, she has been my friend, just like now. I was talking to a friend who was imparting to me what life has taught her.

According to her, things in life, good or bad, are all the same. It’s how you pick them up that makes the difference. Life is a bargain of lessons, and we are free to choose and pick up the lessons we think could help us in our journey. So, look at things with all the positivity you could use.

When a friend left you, just consider the person as a good acquaintance. Don’t dwell too much in the loss; instead, cherish the memories you had.

When you didn’t get something you’ve always wanted, just consider that what you’re wishing isn’t for you. It’s either you can’t have it just yet or a grander plan is set for you.

When someone hurts you, just consider it as a opportunity to learn from your experiences and mistakes. You can apply them the next time you encounter the same thing.

When someone doesn’t treat you the same special way you treat the person, just consider it as a way of making other people special without asking the same thing in return. If the person doesn’t give you the level of attention as the person gives to others, just consider that that person is just lucky to have your attention for free. Soon, when you get tired, you would leave, and the person will regret what should have been done. That could be something positive because you have made another person learn a lesson.

When you are stuck in a station all day, working on research papers packed with heavy mathematics but are poorly written, just consider it as an opportunity to learn and improve your intellect by challenging yourself to make the best out of what you are facing. Besides, while you are ranting over your job, others are ranting over not having one.

Now, I say I am lucky. Those people that I love and care for are there for my birthday. They are there everyday. They greeted me with love. Aside from that, a total 107 friends at Facebook posted greeting on my wall for my birthday. I was flooded with 38 text messages full of birthday wishes. Others also tweeted their happy-birthday’s to me. The number aside, I realized that, while I was lamenting over those who don’t love me, a lot of people are already loving me. It’s no use getting your day ruined over, say, seeing a greeting art for another person from the person whom you expected to make one for you and never did. Don’t look for those things that won’t come. Look into those things around you that are forever present.

I am forever thankful to God for giving me loving family and friends. I am nothing without all of you.

Yes, I am blessed. We all are. It is always up to us to see how blessed we always are.

If you don’t feel special for the rest of your life, it may just be because there are a lot of things in front of you that you are missing.

Are we there yet?

2010-12-22T03:57:00.000-08:00

Ang mundo naman umiikot yan eh, kaya yung mga ginagawa natin araw-araw, yung mga nararamdaman at nararanasan natin, lahat iyon umiikot at iikot lang din.

Paulit-ulit lang tayong masasaktan, babangon, magsisimulang muli, at muling masasaktan. Ganon lang talaga. Cyclic ang buhay. Redundant. Clicheish. Recurring. Repeating. Mala de javu. Patunay ng kasabihang History repeats itself.

Siguro, parang pelikula lang ang buhay. Isang mahabang mahabang pelikula na maraming retakes. Kapag nagkamali ng linya, cut, tapos take ulit. Ganun lang. Tapos kapag perpekto na, next scene naman. Ganun ulit ang gagawin hanggang matapos na ang buong sequence at magsisimula na naman ng panibago para magpatuloy ang kwento.

Kasabay ng pag-ikot ng rolyo ng pelikula mo, iikot ang buhay mo. Di mo naman talaga pedeng labanan ang pag-ikot na yun eh. Di mo pedeng labanan ang agos. Para kang nagsasagwan against the current. Di mo pedeng i-defy ang gravity. Para mong nilalabanan ang energy na, ayon sa mga siyentipiko, hindi naman pedeng likhain o sirain. Di ka pedeng lumaban. Meron kasing batas ang mundo. May Law of Gravity. may Law of Conservation of Energy. May saligang batas. May batas ang Diyos. May kalakarang sinusunod ang mundo.

Sasabay lang tayo dapat sa agos. Pwede ang sumagwan para mas bumilis ka, o kaya naman pwede kang mag-detour sa kung saan tingin mo ay may mas mabilis na daan. Pwede ang sa tingin mo ay shortcut sa gusto mong puntahan. Pero isa lang ang direction. One way lang. Kapag nag-counterflow ka, makukuha ang lisensya mo.

Pero huwag kang magmamadali ha! Wala kang kalaban, hindi ka nakikipagkarera. Naglalakbay ka lang. Gumagawa ng travelogue ng sarili mong paglalakbay. Nagsa-sight seeing at nag-a-unwind ka lang on your own. Pwede ka sumabay sa mga ibang naglalakbay, pero hindi ka required makipagunahan. 

Isang araw, bigla na lang dadating sa atin ang isang taong makaksabay mo sa bangka mo. O kaya share kayo. Pwedeng nasira bangka nya, o kaya ang iyo, o kaya naman tumigil muna kayo saglit sa pampang para bumuo ng isang bangka gamit ang kani-kaniya nyong gamit sa paglalakbay. Dadating iyon, sigurado. Pero sabi ko nga, hindi ka dapat magmadali.

At muli, maglalakbay tayo. Lakbay lang. I-enjoy natin ang agos. Di naman kasi mahalaga kung saan ka makakarating at kung kailan; ang mahalaga ay kung gaano naging makulay ang naging paglalakbay.

A Renewed Vow:

2009-11-30T19:44:00.000-08:00

A Post-Birthday and Thanksgiving Message

To a child, a birthday is the happiest day the whole year round. Balloons would again crowd from spot to spot, as sumptuous food flood the tables and party bags get piled one after the other. Children would sing a happy birthday cheer, a wish would be prayed, and a candle blown would mark a turning point to a child's growing year.

To a teen, birthdays would mean parties. The bests in class would have to be invited. The hot chick, the chick magnet, the cheerleader, the boy-next-door, the prom queen, the varsity, the genius, the famous, the all-in-one package. All the friends would be there. The best friend, the childhood buddy, the hang-out chums, the topnotch mates, the exam co-cheaters, the other-section bud, the secret-envious friend, and the friend a teen is secretly envious with.

To an adult, birthdays are the good ol' days to be merry. it would mean bar hopping, drinking sessions, and worse, after-party-out-of-the-understatement activities.

To me, at this turning point of my once-forsaken (for me at least) life, my birthday is a gift itself.

Before my birthday, I was somehow struggling to make up for what I lost for myself. I was amidst the struggles of uplifting my social self. During those days, I couldn't find refuge to anyone. Whenever I get to find one, it was as if fate would want to play some petty games with me - games where I wasn't the 'llamado' nor the 'dejado', I was the bait.

I am from a broken family. But by being broken, many get to miss one point, that in spite of being broken, I am happy, we are happy. My family has become my inspiration, my will, my purpose. I know for a fact that I exist not only for myself, but for them as well. In the future, I know God would help me serve my purpose - to save my family, to let them survive with me, to give them the best life I could offer for them.

So it's an understatement that my family is my priority. In a list, they would rank number one. I need not to put God in the line up, for all you know, He is an understood number one already, like the understood 'you' in the imperative statement in grammar.

So, where do we go next?

Friends are one of my strengths, I could say. To them, I find my happiest moments and even the happiest moments when the saddest ones come. With them, I laugh when I'm overjoyed, and laugh more when all I wanted was to cry out all the pain deep in me.

Yet, friends are also one of my weaknesses. I value them so much that when one, especially the closer ones, decided to withdraw his/her journey with me, it would fee like I wanted to succumb to ashes than lose such friend. While friends are the armors which protect me, they are also he weakest points in my body which should be protected. For me, they are Hephaestus' armor and Achilles' heel at the same time.

With how I value friends, my fear of rejection could be taken account for. Even though I have a lot of good friends already, I still fear rejections from new ones. This rejection comes in a variety of ways - direct, indirect, dominant, recessive, or whatever. In whatsoever form it takes, it is still fearful to me.

I never imagined that I would be this person who would force myself to the wrong ones. I must admit I don't look good. My being a 'hartrab' was only a brand I get from my classmates, which I know and I accept only for play. In reality, I am ugly - a frog which couldn't be healed by a princess' kiss. But despite that, I shouldn't look pitiful. I shouldn't appear as if begging for attention. I don't deserve those. Physically unbearable as I may look, I deserve to be treated equally and with utmost care even (again, for me at least).

I was awake when my birthday came. I was happy when many didn't miss to greet me via text message. I was happy that there were some who managed to wake up at midnight just to give their warmest greetings. I felt blessed, but not so contented.

The sun rays from across my room was my alarm clock that morning. I woke up and Noticed a few more messages from friends, all about their wishes of a happy birthday for me. I was still sleepy then, not until my mom, with whom I was arguing the night before, came and embraced me. I felt love as it overflowed from my mom's system to mine. It made my day.

It made me realize that I must not be sad that day because there is no reason to be sad at all. Someone bid me goodbye, someone never saw my worth, but why be sad? Someone else deserves my friendship anyway. The best answer to someone who bids farewell is to wave back.

There might be no party that day, but I realized that I have the best gifts already - my family, my true friends, and those who accept me as I am. To all of you, my deepest unending gratitude.

. . . I wish that you be happy. Thank you for everything and I hope that you were able to pick up lessons from what you have read.

I am a better me now, and even getting better and better. Whether I am faking it or not, it's not the matter now. What's more important is that I'm moving forward, I'm trying at least. Thanks to my birthday, if not for this day, I would have been crawling through the nothingness of my laments, I would have been giving a damn over nothing.

As promised,
Cheeno ^^

Captive:

2009-11-30T19:21:00.000-08:00

A Letter from a Friend

*This letter was sent to me by a friend of mine. Captivating as I see it, I hope it would somehow affect you readers as well, the way it affected me.. ^^*

Happy 19th Birthday, Cheeno!

Indeed, today is a time to celebrate your 19th year of existence here on Earth – a great opportunity and milestone that anybody has a chance to achieve. Your natal day comes only once a year; thus, you deserve all the happiness and gratefulness that you are feeling as of the moment.

Consequently, it is very worthwhile to look back at your own past memorable experiences that led you to this whole new chapter of your life. These experiences molded you firmly and superbly into a fabulous and fantastic person that you are right now. These personal encounters helped and guided you in every step of the way, leading you to grasp your present principles and judgments. And best of all, these situations made you realize that life itself is such a vividly colorful experience, which is packed with various captivating moments.

Sure enough, your 6940 life days won’t be complete without the presence of such people who have made your life precious and surreal. Through them, you became what you are, upon which the world can really be proud of.

First and most importantly, we should thank God, the Almighty Father, for giving you the great and viable opportunity to live in this majestic world. With His loving presence, you have been given full guidance and support amidst the differences and trials that you’ve faced through the years. The blessings and talents that He has showered upon you sustained you so well in order for you to become a better person each day.

Next, we must also thank your parents. Without them, you can’t ever be present here on earth, enjoying everything that it has to offer. Your parents were your primary precursors in order to bravely face the world in reality. Their care and affection propelled you to do your tasks with inspiration.

We have to thank also the people whom you’ve shared moments intimately, particularly your siblings, relatives, neighbors, friends, classmates, and clanmates. Through them, every aspect of your life has been so colorful and vibrant in many ways. With their company, you were able to venture onto new dimensions and explore things that cannot be acquired alone.

Definitely, this new life period is going to unfold another set of experiences for you to undertake. Each day would be like any other ordinary day, but with more lessons to ponder and more moments to remember. It is expected that a lot of significant things are about to happen within the next 365 days, including your college graduation, a doorway to yet another important milestone of your life. Nevertheless, with those people that I’ve mentioned earlier, realizing and achieving every terrific goal is never impossible.

This letter won’t be complete without revealing my wishes and aspirations for you. First of all, I wish that your goals in all aspects of life will be attained with much success. I hope that you will stay the same Cheeno Marlo all the time. I also aspire that you stay close to God, for he has been your ultimate guide and supporter, making you accomplish all the things that you acquire right now.

I constantly pray that you will stay happy, successful, and blessed, amid the tests of life that you might encounter. I’m sure God will help you throughout your life journey.

Uhm, I think this ends my letter for now. Never forget to thank those people who are remarkable into making you a wonderful and fabulous Cheeno. Always aim for a bright and favorable future, through your dynamic principles and lessons acquired in life. And most of all, always give happiness a best shot. Always choose the thing or decision which you believe will make you much happier.

Thank you for reading and enjoy the rest of the day!

On Life's Extremeties

2009-09-10T07:12:00.000-07:00

ALPHA: Cradling the roots

On Life's Extremeties

2009-09-10T06:01:00.000-07:00

OMEGA: Dawning of a thousand stories

Ode to Youth

2009-08-04T02:21:00.000-07:00

An Open Letter

To people of my generation,

What is a country without a leader?

The streets wouldn't be as peaceful as they were. Bombs would volley from side to side while people battle with each other. It would be a total chaos -- with people greedy to get what they want, to dominate over others, and to get eternal power.

A leader is an essential part of a society. With him, everything would be regulated. He shall impose which should and should not be done. He shall have this power to take the lead among his people. He shall start setting the standards of the society.

Thus, leadership is power. It might be seemingly difficult to get your eyes off it. It would surely glisten in the eyes of many. It might create greed in the hearts of those thirsty of power. Indeed, leadership, essential as it is, is a delicate material to man.

This makes 2010 a crucial portion of Philippines long undone history. By such year, the country will choose a leader. The people will choose who is rightful with such a fragile position. We shall choose who is human enough not to be blinded by the false shining power. We shall choose who is immune to greed and the privileges in power. At the height of early indirect campaigns by politicians -- from exhibiting their pasts and how they endured them, thus making them a good leader, that is, for them, to early promises of change for the good of many -- the pool of choices really is something worth thinking for.

With such critical choice to be made, 2010 is more than crucial.

My young fellow, this is for you.

The youth populace, by percentage, is something a presidentiable would not and should not care less. Covering a large percentage in the total voting population in the country, if the youth, as whole, would vote one person, he would definitely be the next president. Thus, your vote is important.

With such power as leadership, we must use an equally essential power -- our power to vote.

What will the country be without your vote? You might think that your vote is just a count to the votes og the whole country. But then, if every young one would think that way, the elections might as well lose a vital population which is needed to determine the next leader. Besides, is may be just one vote, but in the long run, believe me or not, it'll make a change. Nothing is even dead hard in going in the nearest COMELEC office to register. The registration isn't even as hard as school exams. All you have to do is to fill up the form, pose for a snap shot, and sign as if signing an autograph for a fan. Nothing is really hard about the whole process. Spare a few time and energy for doing it. It would help the nation for sure.

The country is but a piece of cloth deteriorating with dirt and fungus. Be a detergent that could clean our filthy piece of land. We will be the ones wearing it anyway.

In fairness to the youth nowadays, not all are passive by nature. Many are becoming pro-active. The social awareness sleeping in the abyss of the minds of many have woke up to start spreading action. You may see your classmates shouting their laments at the streets with placards and all, or your friends being part of publications, social oraganizations and movements toward a better country. To some, these actions are a waste of time -- time which should have been alloted to studying. To others, these are a good sign of the youth's role in nation building. Speculations may vary, but at least, actions are done.

They are doing their part, are you doing yours?

I am not appealing that you go out the streets and join rallies you dont even understand, nor am I asking you volunteer in movements which you don't even give the slightest attention. All you should do is to vote. It is a big role already, bigger than you can imagine.

If I have convinced you to register and to vote, then it doesn't end there. It's not just voting, it's voting wisely.

No one but God knows who the rightful candidate is. In the voting process, we are like blindfolded while walking along a hallway. We may hear sounds, promises and advertisements; we may see through our blindfolds images of these people who dare to lead, but we can never see the reality in their aims. Whatever thaey say now may change tomorrow. Choosing more that voting is a hard task. I myself am having a hard time selecting my bet.

Just choose what and who is right. Choose what you believe is right. Follow your heart's desire. Don't just pinpoint by random. Mini-mini mini-mow's are not applicable.

Observe. Speculate. See through their intentions. Think.

What the future generation would be lies to us. What the country would become would depend upon our choices. Don't fail our dying Motherland. Don't let the future falter.

Lead tomorrow's race. Vote wisely.

Cheeno Sayuno
Youth
Registered Voter

On Phenomenal Rush:

2009-07-30T06:39:00.000-07:00

An Evaluation on the Daluyong Experience

The Earth is made up of 70% water.

The Philippines, for instance is but a sea of hardwork. Everyday, everyone has something to do. And if there’s none, we seek to do something. Whether it is the daily task of life’s career or the luxury of couch potato schemes, we couldn’t resist not doing anything. No one could just stare into nothingness for the rest of his life. And while the entire populace is plunging unto the depths of working, CvSU doubles the plunge in this pool of more hardwork.

What could have gone wrong?

I woke up half-confident. Well, a busy day is coming ahead, I knew that. Some inspectors from the Accrediting Agency of Chartered Colleges and Universities of the Philippines (AACCUP) would be looking deeply into the whatabouts and whatnots of a few degree programs that the University offers. Moreover, it’s my course, BA Mass Communication which would be one of the programs under inquisition. Thus, the day won’t be jim dandy.

But what could have gone wrong?

Everything, for me, is under control. Our class was assigned to do daily newsletters on a groupings basis, and being in the first group, I, together with my colleagues, would be the first ones to have a taste of the working the Journalist way – that is, for the Accreditation Week. Personally, I saw no problem over what’s gonna happen. For more than three years already, I had experienced and have survived week-long pressworks with daily releases. To me, it was hunky dory.

What, then, could have gone wrong?

The nameplate was done already; the masthead and folio were already layouted. The articles were the only ones being anticipated, together with a few photos. With the schedules given for writing and editing the news articles and layouting, everything was under control. Piece of cake.

Yet, what went wrong?

The whole day was a bit exhausting. While faculty members were rushing in and out of various rooms to attend to the Accreditors and to what must be done, the young journalists were keeping track of the events as well. It wasn’t easy as expected. You don’t just look and the facts you need form a straight line from nothingness to your paper. You don’t just hold a pen and the facts you got form sentences and paragraphs. You don’t just do nothing and get every single thing you need. You must work.

The shifting of scenes went so fast that I found myself in front of the laptop doing my task for that day. I was waiting for the articles being written and checked by my fellow workers. But then, young and unripe as we were, we needed someone to guide us along the way.

Our instructor, fortunately, was there. We were all in these together. However, since the career of our instructor is not in line with journalism, all he was able to do for the group was to guide us, which he did well. As far as the news editing was concerned, we have instructors who majored journalism anyway.

Confident with what the instructors-slash-editors had done with the articles, I went on with my job. I didn’t dare double-check the write-ups; I was confident.

We passed the day’s work. That, is, we thought we did.

I woke up confidently the next day. I felt not the slightest jolt of pain or unease. But then, I was discombobulated to find out that yesterday’s effort was a failure written in Bookman Old Style, All Caps, boldface, font 74. [I’m trying to get the joke out of it. ^^]

The film reel started playing inside my coconut shell. Scenes from the past flashed back – the fast pace of news gathering and interviews, the writing, editing, and layouting. At first look I saw no glitch. At second, it was I who twitched.

Everything went, again, in Technicolor. The pace from frame to frame was so fast. Before I knew it, the film reel was finished and the Accreditation was all over.

We all knew what happened. Several faults have been made, but what actually went wrong?

I couldn’t help blaming some instructors for the job they half-failed to do. For one, I knew they were good instructors. I knew that they were of knowledge with such field, as what their actions try to portray. Why fail, then?

But then, I realized that no one is perfect. Our imperfections should not serve as our flaws to the point that others will criticize us negatively for those. They just did what they could do; they were not even assigned to do the job. They were volunteers. Therefore, I shouldn’t dare blame them for the mistakes we made which they didn’t oversee. I was personally disappointed, but what can I do, I am neither perfect.

In the other groups, there were battles over politeness and ethics. While the interviewer, who is my classmate, was in his own adrenaline rush for them to meet the deadline, the interviewee, who is an instructor, was at the same time stressed over work. The interviewer, who jokes a lot with the interviewee during free time, aimed to ask questions lightly to give a breather. But the latter wasn’t on for some informal conversation. Thus sprouted the impoliteness rub.

They all happened already. Three things were more important now; the apology, the acceptance, and how to make up.

As for the articles, let us all use the experience as a learning tool. We learned a lot not only with how to write news and feature articles, but moreover, how to become journalists in mind and at heart. Like what we clichéishly say, we should always learn from our mistakes.

The world, indeed, is a pool of trials. We should work, we may fail, we may falter. But before quitting or passing on blames to each other, let us not forget that an ocean of opportunities and learnings lie ahead.

Use them wisely!

Against the Current

2009-07-10T04:30:00.000-07:00

On how to deal with Online Journalism

What would you feel if someone takes the job of your lifetime?

I was on my way to the office when I suddenly felt that something is really odd about today. Well, it must have been just the skin-burning rage of the sun which I felt when I rode off my Porsche to walk to the building, so I didn’t mind much about it. When I went out of the elevator, however, the strange feeling grew more when I didn’t see Manong Baltar arranging the newspapers for release in the Circulation Department. He usually greets and offers me coffee. Moreover, there were no huge piles of newspapers taken in and out of the area. The long table where they were usually stacked was dead empty.

Bearing such a question, I walked half-running to my office. Jemima, my secretary wasn’t there. Her computer was open, so I calmed myself and thought that she’s just in the powder room. I glanced at the cubicles were my writers do early morning chitchats while getting ready for the days work – they were empty as well.

I rummaged my pocket for my phone and was about to call when I heard a sound as if someone is typing. It was a breather, therefore someone was there. The keyboard clicks grew louder, and from my peripheral vision, I realized that every keyboard in the office was producing that sound. I was dumbfounded – the keyboards were typing on their own.

I wanted to run, but the walls started becoming digitally enhanced as the floor was. My vision turned blurry with such a sight and the next thing I knew, I was entangled with wires I could break. I sighed in defeat. Computers have invaded my publication.

Computers made innovations in the lives of people over the years. It was as if these electronic gadgets aided man in its quest for survival. Not only have computers helped man’s daily tasks such as writing, communicating, computing and like, but they have also given humans the source of entertainment none of us could ever resist. The whole scenario made computers the bloodline of the modern society.

The Mass Media community has also considered computer and the internet useful as well. If before they just used this for typing and lay-outing articles, for communicating with colleagues and possible resources for news, and as a search engine for backgrounders and reference materials, many, if not all, have now ventured to the internet as their output for playing their role in the society – as the mouthpiece and earpiece of the people. With this, the internet has taken journalism by storm since, nowadays, news is just a mouse-click away.

Expressive as we all are, even common people use computer as an instrument for expression. From the simplest posting of shoutouts and twits to full-length blogs and websites, the internet has given us a good environment for expressing our thoughts, sharing our viewpoints, and telling others whatever we want them to know. Aiming for expression, which happened to be journalism’s aim too, made every internet-affiliated person become a journalist in his/her own special way.

Online journalism, I may say, is journalism.

Journalism, which is basically the aggregating, writing, editing, and presenting of news or news articles for widespread distribution, happens to be incorporated both in your usual dailies served before the breakfast table and in the websites you see in your computer screen. As long as the journalism’s role in the society is being practiced, it is considerably Journalism despite the medium used in, say, informing, persuading or expressing views.

Not all, however, could be journalists at an instant. Not everyone who uses the internet can be branded an online journalist. You see, journalism is not all about expressing alone. To be a journalist means giving out what the people needs to know, telling the world the truth about issues which could affect them, providing unbiased facts about prominent topics, expressing viewpoints while weighing both sides, and selflessly writing for those thirsty for real information. Remember, freedom of expression is more of a human right than a sole requirement to get journalist as title. So before thinking if you’re an online journalist or not, give your online posts a second look. You’ll find the answer there.

Thus, we don’t need journalism majors if anyone, as long as the halo is there, can be a journalist.

No, hell no. We, journalism majors, are still but essential. Who shall spread the ethics of journalism if there would be no one specializing the field? Who shall lead the others in becoming journalists? Who shall spread the words that will make difference in our race? These, and more, shall be up to those who studied journalism.

Studying journalism is still important simply because while everyone could be journalists, only a few could lead everyone else to the right path. The guidelines toward proper journalism would not be imparted to the people if there won’t be journalism majors who could be examples on how to do it the right way. It is our duty, then, to stand and help those who are helping to spread the news.

Like what the computers are originally made for, online journalism gives an easier medium to disseminate the news and to express the views. Let us then not forget that this is only an alternative and an aid to other forms of mass media. Let us not favor one over another. Let us not make these media compete. Instead, let us all use one for, and not against, the other. And of course, never ever use media, including the internet for something not journalistic by nature, whether or not you aim for an journalist status.

It seems as if online journalism is against the flow of journalism, but it’s not. It depends on the people using it. Don’t be against the current. Go with the flow of reaching the goal of truth and service.

I woke up with the realization that computers won’t kill my newspaper. Instead, it actually opened another window in informing the public. It’s up to me to take the lead.

Go spread the news.

equilibrium

2009-07-10T00:32:00.000-07:00

Things are not flowing the way it should be...

The world is truly a pool of freaky people, I mean it.

For some, while all their efforts are being given just to make both ends meet, they don't get what they deserve.

For others, they strive to win, fate favors them and they get what they want. They may be deserving, or maybe not.

When shall this mayhem end? Who shall endure and who will falter?

No one should give up. After all, everything happens but for a reason. It is up to us to handle it properly. When others take what we do negatively, or when they see our deeds not so good while in fact we deserve more, it is up to them to endure while guilt eats their insides. This, if not brought into action, will eat them alive in the end.

Who, then, needs a big weighing scale? Who needs a closer look to things done for them?

You.

a dreadful state of dementia

2009-07-05T07:24:00.000-07:00

Locked.
I am locked in this four-cornered asylum. There's no turning back nor running out.
I am locked, and nobody's gonna get me outta here. I am in a dreadful state of dementia.

What would you feel if all the burdens of the world rest upon your shoulders? Would you rather quit or just accept such God-forsaken fate?

okei fine, it's all overreaction. Well, I do feel so burdened - no enough sleep, no social life, no rest, no nothing. Anak ng... kakadumami ba namang projek!!

The worse thing is that all our teachers are as if in this bargain where it's whether we pass our project or we fail, throwing all the semester's hardship to trash, turning it into cold meat. And worst, they set deadlines all at the same date, adding more challenge to our reality show.

When will our college instructors realize that their students are not machines, nor robots, nor gods, nor wizards, nor extra terrestrials. We are human, for God's sake, we are freakin' human.

I then came into a realization that they actually know that we are human. That fact is actually part of the plan, a big part of this whole mess. Maybe, just maybe, they actually plan to make us all fail, so that at the end of the day, we could all stand at our very fall.

Well, they might have locked me into a chain of projects, walls of paperworks and bars of assignments, but you see, I'm actually holding the key. It's in my hand all along.

hjbrockhaus

PS: made months ago but posted just now. ^^

2009-07-03T17:39:00.000-07:00

Weighing the Beat
A Comparative Analysis on 24 Oras and Ten’s Broadcast on Smartmatic – TIM clamor

It’s all about news and business.
For over the years of broadcasting history, the competition between networks has become a common scenario. It makes the business sweet anyway. But then, what does it really take to make it big in such a battlefield?
I managed to watch two news shows from two different networks broadcasting the same news and I let all what’s-it and whatchamacullits flood my system.

Bachgrounder: Smartmatic – TIM clamor
Smartmatic International Corp. (Smartmatic) is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Smartmatic International Holding, BV, a company organized under the laws of The Netherlands. Smartmatic has organized elections using its electronic voting solutions in Latin America, the Carribean, the United States, and Asia.
Total Information Management Corporation (TIM) is a domestic corporation registered with the Securities and Exchange Commission in 1981. The corporation is engaged in the business of information technology and service provider.
The two corporations entered into a joint venture on April 23, 2009. This joint venture is one of seven bidders for the 2010 election automation project. All seven bidders, including Smartmatic/TIM, were initially declared ineligible to bid by the Comelec Special Bids and Awards Committee (SBAC). The seven bidders filed motions for reconsideration, and the SBAC reconsidered the bids of four consortiums subject to verification of submitted documents.
Only Smartmatic/TIM passed the SBAC's eligibility, technical and financial requirements. Based on SBAC's recommendation, the Comelec en banc awarded the poll automation contract to Smartmatic/TIM on June 9, 2009.
Smartmatic/TIM was initially declared ineligible by SBAC in bidding for the 2010 election automation project. In its review of the Smartmatic/TIM's bid documents, SBAC found that the ISO certification submitted by the consortium belonged to another firm, JARLTECH International.
The COMELEC requires ISO certification to assure that the manufacturing process of the solution provider complies with international standards.
In appealing the SBAC's resolution, Smartmatic/TIM said that JARLTECH is Smartmatic's subsidiary - an acceptable relationship in government procurement rules. The SBAC granted Smartmatic/TIM's motion for reconsideration and verified in a later report that JARLTECH is indeed Smartmatic's subsidiary. (www.gmanews.tv)

24 Oras: Around the clock
“Nakatutok kami, 24 Oras.”
Thus quote Mike Enriquez for his closing spiel in this tell-all news program 24 Oras with co-anchor Mel Tiangco. This tandem has become award-winning during the years of its airing. That’s one good assurance that they’re on for some real news broadcast.
The show’s most common style is the breaking-‘em-down strategy (I named it myself ^^). It’s like seeing a news article in the newspaper broken down into subtitles. 24 Oras showcases one news event into different angles presented one after another. In that way, they have presented all we need to know while covering a good space in their timeslot.
As for the Samartmatic-TIM thingy, they were able to have four issues about it – Smartmatic-TIM Friday Deadline; Smartmatic being investigated by the United States of America as to being linked to the Venezuelan President; the presidentiables’ fear of a no-election scenario; and the townfolks’ say about the whole clamor.
Thus, in the June 30 broadcast of 24 Oras, the following are observed:
1. The text inserts stating the headline were updated as per the advancement of the news in the segment. In that way, viewers could follow the flow of the news story. Not all can catch up with the uttered version, so it’s nice to have some texts handy.
2. There were parts that the sound of the video material was not muted, so the tendency was that the voice over of the field reporter was not that audible.
3. There were also times where the video did not match what the reporter is saying. Oftentimes, the video transition was late with the voice over.
4. Replaying footage was evident, whether it was in the same news footage (perhaps because there’s a lot more to say but the video material taken would not suffice) or from one news entry to another of the same issue.
5. There were variations in shots – you don’t get bored with shots in just one angle.
6. For live reports, the anchors interact with the field reporter by throwing out some questions. The interaction sounds so natural and not scripted, even though the field reporter buckles with speech and does not give a good answer to the question thrown at times.
7. The notes being read by the field anchor was seen in the camera during her extro.
8. Upon the final question thrown, Mel Tiangco didn’t give a damn to the field reporter’s response. Instead, she proceeded to the next report.
9. On their report regarding the presidentiables’ fear of a no-election scenario, the report didn’t start with the usual 4W’s and 1H style. Instead, the story was introduced from the viewpoint of one presidentiable. It is also commendable that all the possible presidential candidates were asked of their say about a no-election possibility, whether by videoed interviews or by just quoting their words as texts appear on screen. Electoral parties were also asked. Also, the reporter gave future possibilities, so the timeliness and progressive element of the news was maintained.
10. For the last report, which was the opinion of the common people, the lead was a backgrounder, saying something about the historical accounts of the election scene. The good thing about it is that the side of the people, both the ordinary and the experts, was considered, not just those in the government.
With all these, 24 Oras, despite their ups and downs in reporting, deserves one good tap in the back for continuously performing the must-do’s of media in the society.

Ten: Counting to the Top
Wanna here the news at late night after a tiring whole day? Ten, The Evening News, is the right program for you.
Informing and entertaining as well, Ten kicks of with a comic opening billboard. It is thematic as well, carrying the back-to-school theme this time. Their language medium is Tagalog-English, giving the show a lighter atmosphere (that is, in my opinion). In every episode, they have this countdown of today’s Top 10 news of descending importance, going from the light ones at 10 to the most talked of at one.
Their couch reporting is accompanied by discussions about the issue they are reporting. They also have lifestyle, entertainment and technology segments, sometimes with guests as well.
The following were observed in their TIM report last June 30:
1. Only one angle was reported, about the Palace washing their hands in TIM Pullout. This was started with a question lead.
2. Field reporting was also Tagalog-English, as well as the text insert carrying the headline, although the anchors deliver the news themselves. The text inserts are then inconsistent.
3. The text insert changed only to show the name of the person being interviewed. After that, the healine was once again showed. Unlike that of 24 Oras, the headline in the report wasn’t changed all throughout the report.
4. The angles in their shots are not that experimenting.
5. Shots of interviewed people are too close up.
6. The report was ended with a statement from Teodoro Locsin. However, the cut in his statement was evident. The sound of the material is not very audible.
7. Their video transition effect was so plain, making it a bit boring. Try browsing the transition effects of MS Powerpoint, look for the one as if turning the page of a book, use it in all the slide shows, and you have transition Ten-style.
Nonetheless, they are still playing a good role in the mass media industry, and, hey, there are a lot of rooms for improvement anyway.

They had all the information, presentation styles and all, now its up to us to weigh the beat.