I dream in fashion

The Day I Became an Honorary Police Officer

2012-06-23T12:03:00.000-06:00

I have the coolest story for you guys. Like omigoodness. K, so yesterday I worked until 1 pm. I left, and headed to my boyfriend's place, because we were planning to hang out. I noticed a luxury van (what an oxymoron) in front of me swerving hard core. It kept speedingm slowing, slamming on the brakes, swerving between the lanes. Then he hit the curb and almost flipped the van. When he switched lanes I noticed he kept rubbing his face and was sort of hunched over. The whole car was shaking from him. He kept rifling through the car for things. Using my Onstar emergency button, I called the police because I thought this fellow was having some sort of stroke or related medical emergency. And it was so cool, because the police told me to keep following him! A total Kramer moment, getting to follow him as he drove crazily through the neighbourhoods. Anyway, the police finally tracked us down (thanks to my uber amazing GPS and direction giving). They pulled him over and chatted with him.

I had to wait for quite a while, and then I gave up and asked the police if I could leave. They took my information and informed me that this man was not having a stroke. He was WAIT FOR IT...... ....... ...... strung out cocaine. OMIGOODNESS!!! So crazy right??? How does that even happen to someone who owns a minivan?

But yes, I like to think I was an honorary police officer for the 15 minutes I tailed him. And it was awsome. Well at least until I just wanted to get it over with and get to my boyfriend's hehehe.

Robyn Fail

2012-05-23T19:35:00.002-06:00

I am a failure. A customer at work today told me to suck his dick. What should I have done? Told him where to go. Instead my jaw dropped, and I started blinking like I had dust in my eye. As soon as he was gone I fled to the washroom and cried cuz it's been one of those days. Now, I am thinking that I am way too emotional and need to find some way to express my emotion without tears.

Naturally, my first impulse was violence. Now, seeing as how that is generally frowned upon in our society, I am going to modify it. Archery! My boyfriend took me and it was so much fun. So I am going to hone my craft. Then, next time some wise-ass decides to be a douche, BAM!!!!! Arrow through the cornea! WHAT NOW BIATCH?!?!?!?!?!?!

PS... today I am decided upon education.

Not so Mid Life Crisis

2012-05-19T15:08:00.000-06:00

Holy Moses folks, life is crazy. I've had a not so mid-life crisis. Not like "who am I, what am I doing here?" but more like "wtf is this bs that I must go through every day, do I choose nursing or education, and why am I always nauseated?" It isn't really that crazy I spose. For the record, I have chosen nursing for now. Anyway, my whole mental battle has been made worse by my intense/stupid/angering/hectic job, my own expectations for the summer, and my obsessive worrying about day to day events. Anyways, I am back, with a mostly solid head on my shoulders and am ready to bestow my opinions and stories upon you once again.

So, for those of you who, like me, waited with bated breath for the Resort Chanel show, you were prolly not let down. I know I wasn't. I was head over heels in love. One of my favourite Chanel lines to date. First of all, we saw a sort of new color palette. Although the last resort collection also used pastel colors, they were alot more vivid. They also consisted more of yellows and pinks, where this time round we're seeing more washed out violets and aquas and light fuschias which were just so stunning.

I also liked that despite an ever evolving "in look" Mr. Lagerfeld presented us with some traditional, classicly cut pieces like the tweed suit. It is a trademark Chanel item, and yet it is current and so chic; updated with the new colors, and the updated accessories.

On the opposite side of that coin, we were presented with some new looks from Chanel; we saw alot more denim in this line than most others. It showed up in vests, jackets, bottoms, and dresses. Although it is a fabric rarely used by Lagerfeld, he made it classicly Chanel also.

This last piece was another one of my favourites. It is just so adorable. A little retro, a little new, alot stylish, and as always, pushing the bill. I think it sort of summarized everything I loved about this show and Chanel in general.

I sort of feel like the tides are shifting ever so slightly in the design house. Just the way this line and the last few have come out. I feel like something is changing a little bit. I'm excited to see what lies ahead but nervous too. I had the weirdest thought the other day; what if the changed feeling in the last few lines is because Lagerfeld has a new protege? While most of our beloved designers have lead healthy long lives, Lagerfeld is no longer a 40-something. What will happen when he's gone? There is a nice panicky tid bit for you. I know that one has spooked me a great deal.

Anyway, have a great Victoria Day weekend!

Long Weeks

2012-04-25T17:57:00.000-06:00

Hi guys! I am sorry I have not blooged in forever. It was exams, then car issues, then I had to put my dog down which was super hard. Anyway, I am back and ready to go. I am done school for the summer, so hopefully I should get a lot of blogging done. This post will be short as I am at work and don't have my awsome pics to blog on. But I will ask you to review Rihanna's style choices the past few months and ask yourself this question; "WTF?!?!" That is all for now.

An Ode to Bieber

2012-04-11T23:19:00.001-06:00

An Ode to Bieber

Oh Justin Bieber I hate you

Your songs, they are so bad.

The only thing even mildly comparable,

Is walking naked into grad.

Your face, your hair, your clothes,

You're such an ugly girl.

Your voice, your shoes, your body,

You make me want to hurl.

You think you're so amazing,

You think you call the shots.

In fact you're just a dummy,

The only thing you deserve is snot.

Jus because you're famous,

Is not the reason I'm hating.

Indeed your status in this world,

Is the only thing in which you have rating.

There are so many instruments,

In which with talent you play.

Instead you shimmy and dance around,

And now are seen as gay.

Oh Justin, of course you're from Canada,

Us northerners have no more hope.

You have forever tarnished our name,

Why are you such a dope?

With one last word I will end this poem,

For popular you are indeed.

However I think its better for everyone,

If you would disappear on a noble steed.

Fashion Tips for Students

2012-04-11T19:18:00.002-06:00

Here are my be all end all (LOL) tips about makeup, hair, and clothing for a student!!

1. If you`re going to wear heels (of any style), DO NOT use a backpack. You will be hanged.

2. In relation to 1, heels in general are way too high maintenance at school. Wear flats or sneakers!

3. As with any other situation, never ever ... EVER wear crocs.

4. Sweats are unacceptable unless you are working out or a Phys Ed. student.

5. Stains of any kind on a garment are wholly unacceptable.

6. No one ever went wrong wearing jeans.

7. Make sure your clothes fit. Not too tight, too big, too short, or too long.

8. Don`t bleed a dead animal; if your clothing is past its prime, garbage it.

9. Cutesy bags are just that; cutesy bags. When it comes to carrying around books, beverages, etc., make sure you have a reinforced bag.

10. Pay attention to length. Make sure your skirts and shorts aren`t too short. Noone wants to see your underpants.

11. Back-combing is done. NO one wants to see your over-dyed, too fried hair all up like a bird`s nest. YUCK. GO with your natural hair, or a low maintenance style that will last ya through the day

12. School is crazy, but it is no circus; low key makeup is nice. Less is more! The days get stressful and its sometimes nice to rub your eyes without a follow up trip to the powder room to tidy it up.

Beauty Must Haves

2012-04-11T18:56:00.000-06:00

So, I know I don't post like any pictures of my clothes or makeup or stuff, but Ima tell ya some of my favourites. This is the stuff I use every single day. It always makes me look cute even on my worst days!

This is my favourite Lancome blush in Subtil. It is so so gorgeous. It always gives my cheeks the pick me up I need when I first wake up.

Lancome eyeliner! In Brown Coffee!! Get one!!! It will change your life. Honestly it will. It goes on so so smooth and stays on flawlessly all day. It comes off really nicely too. You don`t have to clean it all out of your lashes.

This is my heavy hitter. No amount of crcazy weather affects me as long as I carry this around. I also put it under my lipstick and it makes it last longer. So necessary. Perfect when you`re sick too; jus dab a bit under your nose and it makes sure ya don`t chap up.

This is my all time favourite mascara. The formula is amazing. I prefer it to both my Lancome Definicils and my Diorshow. I kid you not. It is so fantastic.

This is my trusty busty Mac eyeshadow in Rice Paper. I brush it over the lid and into the corners, and it brightens me up.

My final team member! Bobbi Brown matte lipstick in Sandwash Pink. So so beautiful. Perfect color for me. So good.

Colton Dixon

2012-04-04T19:26:00.001-06:00

Alright, so I am embarrassed to admit this, but I am an American Idol fan. My absolute fav this season is Colton Dixon.

No, it's not his looks that make me dig him, its his voice. He is absolutely amazing. He sounds so good and gives me a sort of Jon Foreman Matt Nathanson-esque vibe. Regardless, I am a mondo fan. He did Billy Joel's "Piano Man" and I was absolutely shocked with how awsome it was. Here is a link! Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qnkasvq0LgM

Gooooood News Ladies!!!!

2012-04-04T19:22:00.004-06:00

Prepare yourselves ladies... maybe use the washroom quickly and sit down.

Maroon 5's Adam Levine is now single!

Unleash yourselves!

Totally Looks Like

2012-04-04T19:21:00.000-06:00

Scotty McCreary has an ok voice, but I cannot watch him perform. He looks like Mad Magazine's Alfred Neuman!!!!!! Look!!!

This disconcerts me a great deal! Lol

ACM Wardrobe Issues

2012-04-04T19:17:00.003-06:00

3 Photos, 3 Issues

There aren't even really words. This is just digusting. GET A BRA, HOE!!!!!

The best way to present yourself asd a gift isn't to have the bow sewn into the dress...

Her dress needs acne medication!!!

This is Me!

2012-04-03T23:55:00.001-06:00

I started this blog three years ago. I have 4 faithful readers, and although I have shared some personal stuff, I remain mostly a mystery (ok so that's a slight embellishment but I like how it sounds.) So, Ima tell you about me!

This is me... 18.5 years ago

This is me now. No, I'm not purple hehehe.

I'm a 20 year old 3rd year Biological Sciences major at the University of Alberta. I'm heavier than I'd like, but every day my boyfriend teaches me ways to find things to feel better about.

My favourite shoes are my olive Toms, and I wear jeans with everything.

I love dissecting dead things, and I love looking at ready to wear collections.

I work at a car dealership as a receptionist. I'm popular with some, loathed by others, but I suppose its like that anywhere.

I can't rollerblade. Here is proof:

On the best of days, my hair doesn't do anything I want it to:

I still have my stuffed chicken from when I was a baby.

Her name is Kiki, and anyone that loves me knows I will never ever get rid of her. She smells like a downy sheet, and hasn't actually been washed in over a decade.

My room is my sanctuary. I won't post pictures cuz it's too private hehehe.

My most important people are my family and my boyfriend.

Here is my family and I at my favourite place on earth, McLeod River.

Here's a close up of me and sister. She is one of 3 people that can completely understand me without me having to say a word.

The second is my boyfriend. Here is us:

Here is the third... not actually a person.

This is my dog, Duke. The face tells ya everything you'll need to know about him. He's a dummy. But he's adorable.

My favourite blog, as you all know is Hyperbole and a Half. My favourite shows are The Big Bang Theory and Battlestar Galactica. My boyfriend sent me this illustration and it made me so happy lol.

I am Über sentimental. This is the rose my boyfriend gave me on Valentine's Day:

It doesn't take a calendar to tell you I've been nurturing it a while.

I have every note, picture, card, and gift my boyfriend has ever given me. I save some of his texts, and I lay in bed sometimes just thinking about the next time we will get to be together.

Another of my hobbies is one my boyfriend and I share; film going. In our almost 2.5 years of dating we have seen 49 films together (and may I say he's paid for almost every single one). I finally have a person that watches a film for more than explosions (no offence family).

My favourite musical artists are Taylor Swift, Adele, and Switchfoot. Music is so much a part of me; people say that so much, and yet not a moment goes by without a song in my head. I can pick a song out for every single moment in my life.

However sensitive I have made myself sound, I am also a bit ruthless. I am direct, sarcastic, cynical, prone to anger, and occasionally antagonistic. My inner filter is either missing or broken, and my opinions, though painfully honest, are not always what you want to hear. Mocking people aways makes me cheer up, which is really a sad sate of affairs so I try to keep it to celebrities. I am loyal to a fault, and if you mess with someone I really care about, you will walk out the door with your ass in your hands.

Finally, I am not what your stereotypical fashion blogger looks like. I am not skinny, I'm not petite. I can't afford super expensive clothes, and sometimes I wear huge sweatpants at home. I don't wear heels, I abhor tights, and if socially acceptable, I would wear an easy top and jeans to every occasion. That said everything about fashion entices me. I have steadily followed it for 12 years now, and still surprise people with how much I know. Let's just say you don't have to dress the part to know the lines. Anyway, from now on I will try and stick to fashion, and sarcastic humour. I hope you enjoy lovelies!

girageufbgjfb oahrihgtrftgbfsjkhjkbhs

2012-04-02T20:31:00.001-06:00

Most of you prolly know who this is. This is Ashley TIsdale. From High School Musical. And you're prolly thinking, "Oh what a cutie! An adorable teen" WRONGGGGG! She is almost 30!!! Look at how she`s dressing! My 18 year old sister doesn`t dress like that! Gah. This bothers me in ways I can`t fully articulate. I spose the moral of the story is ACT YOUR AGE!!!!! Because even though she acts 17 in HSM, she is not actually 17.

I'm Lazy and I Cry too Much

2012-04-02T20:22:00.001-06:00

So this is a fashion blog, not a mental health blog. But even more than both of those, this is my blog and so I am going to talk what I want to talk about. Today I am going to talk about me. Selfish, I know. However, I wanna do it and I'm going to.

Life is hard. I know you're prolly staring at your screen thinking "no shit Sherlock". But I leave my statement as it is. Life is hard. And for some people, it's harder than others. In 7th grade I was diagnosed with OCD Anxiety disorder and co-morbid depression. I was a psychologists wet dream. No pun intended. I've had some dark days, as cliched as that sounds. I've hit absolute rock bottom, and there have been times where I almost didn't get out. And I am sure you all know what I mean.

Obviously depression isn't a one size fits all thing, and you don't have it every day of your life. It comes and goes. For the past year and a half I've been perpetually depressed. Just completely broken down. My motivation is just gone. It has just completely and totally disappeared. Waking up and getting out of bed seems impossible every single morning. I have a great family and an amazing boyfriend. He gives me absolutely everything, and how do I repay him??? I sit around being morose, treating him like crap.

What is the point of this post? Am I trying to bring you all down with tales of my woe? Am I trying to berate myself and make anyone who is depressed seem like a low life? Absolutely not. But as I started off with, life is hard, and it's harder for some people than it is others. I, however, am not one with a particularily hard life. I'm 20 years old. I'm overweight, but I'm pree healthy. I live in a nice house with my family, I go to university full time while my parents work hard and pay my tuition. I have a good job, and some good friends. I have nice clothes, and lots of other nice things that I don't need to survive, but absolutely love having. I have a bright future, and I have a boyfriend who loves me more than anything and is happy to share it with me.

No matter how down; how depressed and low I feel, I have absolutely no reason to give up. So I guess the point of this is to help other girls or even guys like me. I'm not promising every day is going to be awsome. I can't say that there won't be days ya jus wanna throw in the towel and hide in your bed. I know pillows are more appealing than people sometimes. But always try and find some things that are great about your life. Always try and think about the things that keep you going. If you don't have any then try and find some. You'll need them. We all do. They might not all be amazing boyfriends, but there can be something for everyone.

Oh Hilarity

2012-04-01T21:04:00.000-06:00

I found this on a humour blog:

I thought it was so funny. And actually so true. After wearing my pumps for an hour, I have expected my toes to come out looking like that.

The World is Coming to an End and my Car is Satan

2012-04-01T21:01:00.000-06:00

Ashton Kutcher is slated to play Steve Jobs in an Indie flick called "Jobs". I don't want to live on this planet anymore. Like come on!

A guy wearing a shirt with his own name on it????????????

Let us be honest; people love this giant asshole. But let us be honest again; he can act just about as well as I can keep my opinions to myself. And he is going to play the cofounder of one of the cornerstones of personal entertainment that is Apple? What is this bloody planet coming to? I dunno, maybe they should have Adam Levine playing Bill bloody Gates file they're at it! I'm sure he'd bring just as much to the role as this talentless model-turned actor can! I can picture it now;

Begin Scene: Steve Jobs (Kutcher) at an unveiling for the Apple iPhone 4. Black auditorium, black turtleneck, mom jeans, and big white sneakers. He turns to display his wonderfully crafted beacon of hope then BAM! Puts his hand on his hip, rips the turtleneck off, gives the crowd the Magnum and starts strutting down the stage. COME ON PEOPLE!!!! WE ALL SAW WHAT HAPPENED WITH ROSIE HUNTINGTON WHITELEY IN TRANSFORMERS!!!!!!!!!! I have no faith in humanity. I am going to bury myself in a nice airless sand pit so I can slowly asphyxiate to death.

Oh, and my car is satan. I thought you should know.

Women Translation

2012-03-29T23:22:00.002-06:00

So almost none of you probably know this, but I am a huge fan of memes like Megusta, Forever Alone, and the Lol guy. And then on a completely unrelated note, my dad was saying that he's confused by my mothers behaviour and she must just be hormonal. So, to bring these 2 unrelated topics together, here is a woman's monthly moods in memes!

Month Starts Here:

Month Ends Now.

Enjoy!

Shoesies

2012-03-29T18:19:00.000-06:00

So, up until this point I have been strictly against prostitution. Absolutely, I have never agreed with it. Then I saw these:

Email me any time!! I'm a size 10!!

WORST DRESSED IS BACKKKKK!!!!!

2012-03-29T18:13:00.000-06:00

Enjoy my loves!!!

Diana Agron in "Red Swan Attacked by Sharks with Frickin Laser Beams on their Heads"

Duck taping an ugly sweater doesn't make it look any better. And really, a belt would've cinched it in just as well.

Ok so this dress isn't so bad, my only problem is the lost souls on the bottom reaching up for her.

This is an impressive feat; not only did she find THE UGLIEST curtain left over from the 70's, she even managed to make it into a poorly cut dress!!!

Well that is one way to save money; use a recycling bag as a dress!

Oh Jennifer honey, the Dentist forgot to take your drooling bib off!

Yes, because a red head should wear bright red heels to accentuate her hilliter dress.

Too bad she wasn't actually in jail for this.

Sure, because an overly curvy woman needs shaping lines to accentuate her curves.

My Lst For the Night

2012-03-28T23:48:00.000-06:00

Ya see this woman right here?

I hate her. I can't stand her. I wish her stiletto would catch in a grate and she'd fall and hit her stupid face on a grate-ey gravely ground. Stupid Elle Macpherson.

A Relief Indeed

2012-03-28T23:46:00.000-06:00

So I am sure many of you remember that whole controversy last year with John Galliano and his racist rants. I was both disgusted at his behaviour, and a little sad because regardless of his terrible character, he was an amazing designer, and I loved what he did for Dior. So, as you can imagine, I was a little nervous of what the new designer would do for the name. I am ashamed to know I cannot remember the fellow's name, but I have 4 of his pieces from his latest Couture collection for Christian Dior and I must say I am in love. These pieces area absolutely exquisite; simple, yet detailed and elegant. And if I may say, a bit more wearable than some of Galliano's creations. Even look at awards show season! Many a Dior dress was worn and loved! I am all in!

Tips To Live Your Life By

2012-03-28T23:33:00.000-06:00

Hey loves!!! So I have decided that the some of the knowledge I have acquired in my lifetimes worth enough to share. Enjoy!

1. This is my number one tip; the most important. Orange was not created to wear. It was created to eat!!!

2. There is no woe that Adele or Switchfoot cannot fix.

3. Soundproofing is a myth. If you start singing at the top of your lungs in a "soundproof" racquetball court, people will hear you.

4. If you have to ask if it makes you look fat, it probably makes you look fat.

5. If you want a boy to ask you out, tell him you want him to. Give him your number and a strict outline.

6. Crocs are a backyard shoe. Unless you have a backyard without a fence. Then crocs are a no go.

7. Nothing good comes of wearing something without underwear.

8. An extension of 7; Skinny jeans don't make you look skinny if you're fat.

9. Always pluck your brows when you have the next day off.

10. Don't shave your upper thighs. EVER. Once you start, those babies never stop growing.

11. If someone makes a sexual innuendo and you don't get it, DO NOT ASK!!! Google it when you get home.

12. Don't try to be funny. You're either funny or you're not. If you are it will come naturally. If you're not you're SOL.

13. If you're wearing your fat jeans, a boys tee-shirt, wool socks, no make up, and your hair in a tippity top fuzzy pony tail, and your man tells you you look beautiful... MARRY HIM!!!

14. The way to a man's heart is through baking. Nothing says "I love you" better than a vanilla chocolate strawberry cake.

15. Even if you say it a billion times, always tell your significant other you love them when you think of it. They'll always appreciate it.

16. Just because it looks good on a hanger doesn't mean it will look good on you; TRY IT ON!!!

17. An extension of 16; do not buy something no matter how many pounds you plan to lose. IF IT DOESN'T FIT DON'T BUY IT!!!

18. No one will be more honest than your sister. If ya don't have one, then you're on your own.

19. Chocolate is never the answer. Ice cream and chocolate is.

20. Nothing will cheer you up better than laughing at poorly dressed ugly people. Sad, but true.

21. Fashion is of the moment, but style never changes.

22. Stupidity is never a cute thing. Even if the person you're trying to impress is stupid.

23. If your meal choice on a date carries even the slightest risk of diarrhea or gas DO NOT ORDER IT!!!!!!

24. An extension of 23; DO NOT GO #2 IN PUBLIC IF AT ALL POSSIBLE!!! EVERRRRR

25. Nothing aggravates a person more than telling them to calm down.

26. If ya don't want other people to hear it, don't say it.

27. Never mock someones car. They may just run you over.

28. DO NOT start minecraft, temple run, angry birds, or robot unicorn attack if you have any goals for your future.

29. Anyone that likes Justin Bieber just wants to watch the world burn.

30. An Apple product, no matter what it is or how much it costs, is a better buy than the competing product.

Prepare Yourselves

2012-03-25T00:55:00.000-06:00

Hello my few and fabulous fans! I AM ALIVE! I know I disappeared and some of you may have been like "wtfv the center of my world is gone!" BAHAHAHAHA just kidding lol I know I am not that good a blogger. That said, I know how grumpy I get when Allie from Hyperbole and a Half doesn't blog, so I figured I would elevate my own self worth and pretend some of you feel the same about me. Moving on. I have been missing my favourite blog so I was reading some of my old favourites and first of all, I wish I had the equipment to accompany brilliantly hilarious posts with epically drawn pictures. However, considering I just had to pay $1500 replacing the car I totalled, replacing my hardware does not seem likely. Secondly, I am considering adding some additional humour posts. Because people love outrageously funny but true stories. And as my love bug Matt can attest, I have my fair share. Believe me. They're not quite as good as walking around Texas in a illness induced stupor, but they have their moments. Secondly, this blog has become more of a expression of myself as a whole as compared to just fashion. However, I realize that having only 4 followers that I can see, I need to make sure I don't lose you. So opinions? I am incapable of making decisions, again as love bug will be able to attest.

Moving on... again. For those of you that caught onto my car accident story, worry not, for I will indulge you. That said this isn't that funny; more like sad lol. ANYWAYS... so I am headed to work. It is wednesday February 22. I live in a crowded but generally small metropolis in Western Canada (excuse my funky capitalization here there and everywhere). So I am on one of our major roads in a 60 km/h zone. The chump in front of me is hell bent on going 25 km/h. Now seeing as how I am already pushing the limit with the amount of travel time I allowed, I give him a honk. However the ass hat slows down even further, inducing a manic rage within the bowels of my soul. However, I resist the rug to ram his stupid Toyota, I calmly switch lanes, move ahead a few cars, and move back into my lane when it is safe. At this point I am traveling behind an immaculately kept minivan. I am a full car length behind it, as per my farting driver's ed instructor, and going the limit to the joy of all behind me. All of a sudden le immaculate van just stops. "No Problem!", I think, and I hit my brakes. In a perfect world, I would have stopped, had an elevated heart rate, and turn up the radio to calm down from the almost-accident nerves. THIS WORLD IS SO FAR FROM PERFECT!!!!!!!!! Why? Well because Satan's puddle was located in between me and the super van. When I hit my stupid, no good, unreliable ABS brakes, I hit le puddle, and slid like a champ into the back of the van. Air bags go off. Head gets hit on hard as rock headrest then even harder steering wheel. Blackness. Then smoke. Everywhere. I open my eyes and try and breathe but am choked by the miraculous non oxygen flooding out of my now deflated air bags. My horn is going off sporadically of it's own accord, because thats what all horns should do in an accident. I try to move and can't and start to panic because I think I am paralyzed. No, no, my hypochondriosis was unwarranted; it was just my trusty locked seat belt squeezing every inch of my rotund body!!! Do I call 911? Nnnnnope. Do I call family? Police? Heaven? Nnnnnnnope. I dial love bug to inform him that I have been in an accident and should probably call 911. Not one of my brightest moments. So I hang up then realize 911 is indeed not necessary. Well hallelujah. I call father next. I think that was my worst mistake of all, because in a panic, father and I just frustrate each other. And indeed, that is all that happened. Through bad phone reception and several hangups we get thoroughly frustrated with each other. Anyway, fast forward through annoying technical mumbo jumbo to the cavalry showing up; mother and sister (both remaining calm, thank goodness) come and help me clean everything out of my destroyed, broken, for-sure-going-to-be-written-off-car. They help me deal with the less than cordial police officers (who gave me a ticket for careless driving, thanks to the guy I had honked 10 minutes earlier dhfbgkjaerbdn), and then mother takes me to the hospital to get checked out.

I walk into the ER and obviously look alarming, because without even fully looking up, a nurse wordlessly opens up the security door and sits me down where she starts collecting information from the fuzzy-haired 14-year-old-looking girl that smells like gun smoke. She starts by taking my blood pressure. She looks a little alarmed and says "Wow, it's so low! You could be dead!" WHY THANK YOU NURSE LADY MAKING JOKES ABOUT THE UNIVERSITY STUDENT WHOSE JUST BEEN IN AN ACCIDENT THAT DESTROYED HER PRECIOUS CAR, LETS MAKE A FEW MORE INAPPROPRIATE COMMENTS, SHALL WE????!!!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?! We finish up the rest and I am sent to the waiting room where I sit amongst a woman with an immovable arm, a man that hasn't passed stool in 3 days, and a child that things his mother's arm is a tissue. Needless to say I was not a happy camper. To make matters worse, the pains associated (arm, head, stomach, shoulders, back, neck, and other impact areas) starts to set in. Yes, why not, because I wasn't cheery enough. Anyway as the human snot machine, and the waste disposal unit get helped, I sit fuming. Then I start to get really sleepy and panic because I assume my brain is hemorrhaging from sheer force. Then I gain my wits and continue the anger strike. But the my chest and arm start to hurt. I AM HAVING A HEART ATTACK!!!! Instantly I start thinking about all the exercise I never bothered with, and the fitness I should've attended to. Luckily, my third year biology major brain kick in and I remember arm pain is only symptomatic in males. It is at this climax of my nerves/rationalization/even more nerves that I get called in to be helped. The doctor, who will forever be my nemesis, presses his ham hands into the sorest of spots and cannot tell by the wincing that yes, indeed Dr. Genius, that does hurt!. Then he tells me that I look ok, but to come back in if I suddenly start vomiting all over the place. Thanks for the vote of confidence doc.

Fast forward a month and I have finally found a car to replace the broken carnage that was my 2001 Chevy Cavalier, named Lou. It took so long, no thanks to the used car department at my work who SOLD THE VEHICLE THAT I WAS HOPING TO POTENTIALLY BUY but I finally settled on a 1991 (yes folks, indeed, a car older than myself) Buick Park Avenue. It is loaded. A little finicky, but it wouldn't be a part of Robyn's world if it wasn't, right?

Now that I am done telling my spirited and frustrating tale of destruction and doom, I must confess that I am soooooo tired because I have no proper sleep wake cycle. I will blog tomorrow about fashion related items, because I have been stock piling material! Now I can blog through my so-boring human memory class. Don't worry, I am not confused; I know tomorrow is Sunday and there are no classes on sunday, I am making just a mere anecdotal comment if you will about the soon to be status of my blogging. Anyway, goodnight! Sleep tight! And if you have rage dreams about red toyota rav 4's, know that you have a special place in my heart!!!

Ready to Wear... and Some Other Stuff

2012-02-18T16:40:00.001-07:00

Hey my lovely fashion family! So, may I just start off by saying I am bush-whacked. Like so completely exhausted. I am not a happy camper when I am this tired. Ever. I know this is a fashion blog, but I need a moment to complain. So, I work at a car dealership. And for the most part it is pretty good! I mean, where else do you get paid to do homework whilst answering phones?!?!?!

However, it would be an understatement to say I work with a bunch of nincompoops. And there is one in particular that has made it his life's goal to torture me. When I first started here we had a big blow out, but patched it up because my dad is the controller here (who ever said nepotism was a bad thing?) and the nincompoop likes my dad. SO,we mended things and for the most part, I just ignore him. However, he has really been throwing the blows lately! Making d-bag comments like "your clothes look like they're from walmart" (all because I undervalued his "Armani" watch... it is so not Armani, let me just tell you).

WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Firstly, let me say I do not purchase ANY clothing items from walmart. Second, let me say how FRACKING INCONSIDERATE I FIND THIS MISERABLE PIECE OF RAT CRAP!!!

Sorry, lost my cool there. Well I have to work today (yes, you can all "awwww" for me), and he's been at me all day! He called me moody because I'm not as chatty as usual (I am tired remember?!), he told me I'm no good at my job, and hes been acting like a GIANT,PENIS-LOVING, NO GOOD, LOWLIFE, RAT-FACED, POOP-EATING, BUGGER!!!!!!

Sorry, I am breathing again. So, to zone in, because of his giant-ass douchery, I turned to my comforting Style.com to check out the latest Ready-to-Wear. Now, I may be biased because I am extremely exhausted and now crabby, but I was let down! I find in general (of course there are exceptions) that this season is coming up a little flat. The 2 right off the top of my head are J. Mendel and Herve Ledger by Max Azria. I found both were a little bland, and just not as visually stunning as they usually are. I always love looking at J. Mendel because usually, there are exquisite gowns even in the non-couture seasons. But I felt like I had been cheated this time. Herve Ledger was very bland also, and some very bland looks were made downright ugly with the addition of some heinous leather cprset type belt things that resembled more closely a harness/bridle deal. All in all not impressed. That said, Marchesa, as always, totally kept it up to their high standard, and as is always the case I was overjoyed and ecstatic with the looks this season. Marchesa is one of my favourite houses, so I may be biased, but I really do think they were one of the stand outs this season. I am going to post some photos in a few posts of my favs from Marchesa.

Alright, I have said my piece, and I think the keyboard is crying out in pain and misery. Whenever I get angry, I tap like a fiend which says something, because I type aggressively type even when I am not bearing the burden of EXTREME FIEREY ANGER!!! Anyways, I hope you are all doing well, and I cannot wait to chat again! My sincerest thanks for listening to my complaints, and hearing my opinions! Much love!!!

Good Afternoon!

2012-01-28T12:50:00.000-07:00

So I went to check my email today, and I had another comment from a reader who loves my blog. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reads it. It means so much, because to be honest I never thought anyone would. So thank you to everyone who reads it and enjoys it! This sounds so cliched but I mean it; as long as there are people who enjoy reading it, I will continue to blog for you! Love you guys!

No enjoy this pic I took fro demotivational blog. Lol it made my whole day hehehehehe