I Eat Raw Meat

Veggie Feastings and Happy Hearts

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 20:28:00 +0000

WHAZZUP??!! Two post in a week?? I'm on a roll!

I did something naughty, and I'd like to tell you all about it.

I broke into the human meat locker, that they like to call the "fridge." Mom doesn't know how, but I did it, and I am most pleased with my bad self. Mom keeps all my meatables on the bottom shelf of that wonderful machine... right at eye level for me and my brother. But I didn't take the meat. Didn't even touch it.

As it turns out, meat is not my most favorite feasting material.

Instead, I stretched my long and stretchy body all the way up to the tip top shelf, where I dug through a pile of vegetables, each snugged up in their own little bag. I picked my way through the pile, past the diakon radish, bypassing the carrots, ignoring the onions. Then I found it. The feasting of my desire.

The same thing that I am being all GoodBoySitStay for in this photo.
THE CELERY.
I am mildly obsessed with celery. It is my most favorite feasting ever. I drip droolies and beg the best begs whenever my mom takes it from the food box. It makes for the absolute BEST cold crunching feasting in the entire world.
What? Are you surprised?!? A meat-feasting beast like me totally digging on some green non-meat aisle material? Dude. Try it. It is AMAZING. And I'm pretty sure that something this good has to be made of meat even though it's green.

In fact, I've even got my brother eating it. He used to chew it to bits and spit it out, but even that stinkbutt has grown to love the crunch of fresh organic celery deliciousness.
Mom doesn't mind the daily feast snack either. She says that it helps to "speed things along" in the mornings when she needs to go to work. I think she's referring to how quickly I gobble down my veg. (By the way, I would like you to take note of the wonderful paper shreds that Big Pupi and I surprised mom with when she came home from the grocery store. She LOVES it when we greet her with thoughtful presents and decorations!)
In other news, mom got a call from the doggy doctor yesterday. My brother had some tests done on his ticker, and she got the results. Let me give you a little back story.
About 18 months ago, my brother was diagnosed with a heart murmur. It was a grade 1 (on a scale of 1–6, with 6 being valve failure). This is a very common ailment for beasts like us. As we age, the valve tissue can thicken, causing a murmur. It can be a progressive problem. But at stage 1, you don't do anything but keep an eye on it.

During our annual exam a few months ago, our new vet said it sounded like the disease had progressed to a stage 2. Not good. That's way too quick for mom's comfort. And given our hard-running lifestyle, heart health is a big concern. Big Pupi LIVES for our morning runs, and so mom thought it best to have a few more tests done.

Which brings me to his robo-dog naked pink chest panel.
Big Pupi spent the day at the doctor, (while I got to play at camp... SWEET), where they shaved his chest and took a gander at his ticker. Turns out that BP's blood mover does indeed have a leaky valve, but it is no where near a stage 2. Although there is some blood going back in to the heart, it is not enough to slow him down or even worry about at this point. My folks and doctor will keep an eye on it, but we don't need to taper down our runs or watch our exercise. She said that his resting heart rate is so low, and his resting breathing rate is slow, which all indicate a healthy heart and healthy body. Good news.

I was smiling (mostly because I get to continue on my morning fast hunts).
To make good news ever gooder, doctor said that BP's heart shows no signs of disfigurement or severe scarring from the heartworm that he had back when my mom first took him home. So overall, he gets an A+ on the old man health chart.
Ever since his first murmur diagnosis, mom changed up his supplements a bit. Now he gets a therapeutic dose of fish oil, at 2,000 mg per day instead of 1,000 (total of 240 mg DHA and 360 mg EPA). He's continued at 200iu Vitamin E every day to help metabolize the oil. Because antioxidants are really good for the cardiovascular and immune systems, he is given 500 mg Vitamin C, and about 300 mg of Coenzyme Q-10. CoQ10 has been shown in clinical trials to be beneficial to heart (and gum) tissue, and is also an antioxidant. Furthermore, CoQ10 is being studied for its cancer prevention benefits, which is something all senior dogs need to keep an eye out for.

BP has also shown some very slight signs of stiffness in his knees, so about 5 months ago mom started him on about 1,000 mg of Glucosamine daily. He gets the shellfish-free kind, because those kinds of fishes make him vomit for hours. After about 6 weeks on this supplement, he no longer shows any symptoms of arthritis. Once we're done with this bottle of Glucosamine, mom will move him to another shellfish-free kind that also has hyaluronic acid in it, as that is supposed to make the supplement work even better. We're both still on a pre-made greens mix with seaweed and alfalfa, and a Multi-B vitamin given a few times per week.

So... it sure sounds like a lot. But a couple of vitamins in each meal really isn't a big deal and we're HUGE believers that good nutrition is the BEST form of preventive medicine. Plus, vitamins cost WAY LESS cheese-money than vet bills.

Just a little food for thought from your beastly friends.

And I can promise you that we'll be thinking of our foods when we're out on our run tomorrow!

From your feasting friend,
Stanislaw

Hear It All From the Stanislaw

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 00:04:00 +0000

What's up bloggerinis?!
It's your long-lost pal, Stanislaw. Just chillin'. Being beastly. You know. The usual.
I've made the very intelligent decision to entertain you with the most spectacular photos of me (and mediocre ones of my brother), while I update you on our feastings and last few months. The photos have nothing to do with the post, except that Big Pupi and are playing with some sweet new toys that look like meatables. Awesome.
As you can imagine, a whole huge bunch of things have happened since I last wrote to you. For starters, our new doctor says that my brother is probably TEN YEARS OLD instead of the assumed 8. HA HA. Awesome. I always knew he was a grumpy old man! Aside from that revelation, and almost completely losing his hearing in old-man style, Big Pupi is fit as a fiddle (I have no idea what that means). We continue on our fast hunts in the early mornings and he outruns both my mom and me on the last mile. Don't tell anyone that.
Now for news about me! I have been completely weaned off my Prozac and have made enormous improvements on my OCD, twitching and other wacky behaviors. In the past YEAR, I've only had ONE bad episode of screaming and twitching and that's it!! It used to happen every single day before my medicine. Although I will never be a "normal" dog, I am now living a very comfortable and healthy life. And "normal" is boring anyway. Right?
With those minor updates, let me tell you what's been keeping my humans from posting for me.
You see, there's this big scary monster called Economy. This Economy beast did some major damage to my mom's industry in our last city. After a bit of struggle, mom got a job in another city that was too good to be true and she just couldn't turn it down. My dad, on the other hand, already had a good job and is too far through law school to transfer. Dad works full time, goes to school straight from work, and then comes home to homework every night until 2am. While my mom works very long hours, she's allowed to bring her work home with her at night. And so, Big Pupi and I moved down south with our mom.

It's not uncommon for mom's job to have her working until 10 or 11 at night (advertising... sheesh!). Because The Stanislaw requires much attentions and affections, she doesn't always have a lot of time or energies to keep up with my blog. But that doesn't mean that we're not reading yours. I promise that we are! It just means that I'm living life on the down-low for a while.

I'd totally like to bite this Economy monster in the bum. HARD.

But dad is done with school in May, and he's at the very top of his class. I can't wait to be a family again soon!! Mom says that we are making sacrifices so that we can "invest in our future" right now. All I have to say is that this dang "future" better have a squirrel farm for me in there somewhere.

So that's the Happenings with your friend Stanislaw. We're still feasting raw, running hard, and living life all beastly-like.

We've missed you!
Stanislaw

XL feasts and fun

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 02:03:00 +0000

Mom has been working crazy-long hours. I find this inexcusable. I am a full-time job and should be treated as such.

To make that point, on one particularly late night this week, I weebled on the carpet. That's right. And I didn't even get in trouble!!

To make it up to us, (and I suspect to alleviate some of her guilt), mom took my bro and me for a super long speed walk today. The weather was perfect for some dock-jumping and squirrel-track-sniffing. SO FUN. At one point the roll of pooble bags fell out of mom's pouchy-holder-thing and the second she noticed they were gone Big Pupi did a huge pooble. SO COOL! I always knew that my stink bro had a sense of humor.

When we got home, we feasted on BP's fav - fishies.
Mom gets this stuff at the human grocery store and is kind of baffled by the guts and skin and bones that are still in the can.
She thinks it's pretty gnarly, but we think it's so good it's worth being all Good Boy and doing our Sit Wait before feasting. Mmmm... fishes and ricotta cheese. I LOVE our after exercise meals. (I've really never met a feast I didn't like...)
After we fill our bellies, Big Pupi and I like to stretch our rippling muscles with a little stuffy nibbling. Every so often BP lets me nibble on one of his favorite toys, and today I seriously lucked out with Size XL Racoon. His tail makes the most magical crinkly sounds when I give it nibbles.
Big Pupi played with our new octopus toy - a gift from our grandhumans. He likes to get in mom's face with it and tease her. He really wants her to take it and send it flying across the room.
This was one of those flying octo moments.
I got so into my nibbles that my legs went all frog-ish and my tail kept up its wiggles. But no matter how in the zone I was, I had to make sure to mind myself because Big Pupi will take toys away from me if I begin to gut them. What can I say? The dude taught me to respect the stuffies.
I love these days that BP shares with me! Size XL Racoon is a hot commodity in these parts and I almost never get to play with him.
I even got to prance around with him and trip over his Size XL body. I fell on my face. AWESOME!

Share your toys, folks.
Lessons on life, from your friend,

Stanislaw.

Westminsterlicious

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 01:46:00 +0000

So, I'm watching the Westminster Dog Show when I see something that looks awfully familiar on the picture machine. I'm all like WHAT?! How do I TIVO this business?!?
And then I come to realize that the black cocker spaniel with the short name Beckham is totally kicking Sporting Group bum and prancing his manliness around the ring.

AND THEN HE WINS.

Woot woot! I'll be rooting for you Mr. GCH Casablanca's Thrilling Seduction. I'm pretty sure we're related, given all of the beastliness and handsome-good-lookingness we both possess. Like brothers or something. No joke.

We're hoping you bounce all those manly furs and dangly ears right into Best in Show. And when you're all done winning, give me a call. I could totally go for a family reunion.

Back to the show!
Stanislaw

Relax? Me? What?

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 21:12:00 +0000

I have no idea what "relax" means. Seriously. No clue.

Because of my folks' work-thingy that they seem to love so much and spend so much time on, they put my bro and me in daycare last week to give us a break from the monotony of staying at home all day and all night. They can watch us on webcam while we romp and play, and mom noticed a black cocker spaniel there spending much of its time lying down and chillin' on the playground. At first she thought it was me and became super worried that I was sick. I never sit down! I never hold still! What could be the matter?! But to her relief I went zipping across the screen in a blur of noodle-ish spaniel wiggles and hyper energies.

Sitting still just ain't my thing.

Something about this weekend's weather made my folks want to get outside and play, so Big Pupi and I got to go on some really nice fast hunts and long walks. One would think that a 90-minute run/walk would tucker a little guy out... but there's just no way. When we get home I looked like this:
I lied in the sun trying to be all relaxed-like, but it didn't last long before I had wiggled my way across the room.
What can I say? Those awesome post-exercise feastings of cottage cheese, yogurt and tuna make a boy all happy inside.

Big Pupi, on the other hand, knows how to turn it up on a run and then get some major snoozels when we get home. He feasts and his eyelids get heavy. All he needs is a little patch of sunlight and the snores begin.
Mom topped off our feast-snacks yesterday with a bully stick. I snarfled mine down right away, but BP wasn't hungry enough to eat it and fell asleep with it in his mouth. This is what he looks like when he's all disgruntled because mom woke him up with her flashing toy.
The whole time Big Pupi snoozeled, I took my post by the window watching the comings and goings of the neighborhood dogs and squirrels and birds and stuff.
I prop my front feet up on the arm of my humans' sofa so that I can more comfortably see out the window. I've just about ruined that part of their couch. Awesome!

This is the nerd-butt bro holding his bully right before mom discovered a humongous tick in his mohawk.In fact, she's still not certain if that was a tick or a gerbil up in there. Totally gnarly dude.

And this snapshot is called "Mohawk en Fuego."Humans are so weird. But their food is mighty tasty, so I put up with it.

Later dudes!
Stanislaw

Magic Beastitis

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 01:20:00 +0000

'Sup my favorite fuzzy friends? Stanislaw here, staring out the window at the tasty niblets that scamper by.

Big Pupi and I have been B-O-R-E-D lately. My folks haven't been able to take us on our fast hunts thanks to a bazillion and a half hours of work they are forced to do so that they can buy my feasting materials. You'd think that I'd be okay with the situation since it's for my general good, but I'm not. So in lieu of fast hunts, I've been hunting for some seriously naughty things to keep myself occupied. I am in need of metal stimulation, and how can you blame me if those leather strappy things on mom's boot happened to be the item of my occupation-ism?

To avoid any more leather feasting, we've been kept busy on our balance ball. My bro and I LOVE IT. We try to push each other out of the way to get on it and then run around and wait in line for our turn. IT IS SO AWESOME. And delicious. We get to eat little gobs of cream cheese off of mom's fingers when we're good balancing boys.

I've finally figured out the art of actually balancing on the ball instead of just sitting my rear right down on it. My nerdalicious brother has actually learned to stand up on his hinders while balancing on the ball. Sheesh. Show off much?? Mom thinks it's hysterical that BP has learned a whole manner of circus tricks but in the 5 years she's had him, BP is has never learned how to shake. No joke. But you know who's got that whole shake-thing down pat? THIS GUY. Heck, I'll put my whole torso in your hand when you ask for a shake. I'd like to see the dorkus do THAT! His standing ain't got nothin' on me!

Here are some videos for your immense enjoyment. Try not to be distracted by the massive amounts of beastliness. I know I do sometimes.

Later dudes!
Stanislaw

An Old Dog's Discovery of a New Food Group

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 20:49:00 +0000

Big Pupi makes a reintroduction:

Hello my feaster friends! It's been quite some time since we've made note of our beastly goings-on. Too long! And with that thought I have a very important announcement to make.I have discovered a new food group.It's called Smoked Salmon, and it's THE MOST tongue-dance-y, tastebuddy-swirling thing I have ever had the pleasure of feasting upon. Now, I've heard that smoking is not good for you, but I'm sure glad these fishies took that risk because it made them DELICIOUS. Mom only lets us have little tastelets of the goodness, but I will be Supreme Good Boy for any scrap I can wrap my lips around. Mmm Mmm Mmm. Fishies.Due to the extreme amounts of nutrition and feastingness that this new food most definitely possesses, I have decided that it must be its own food group. I could live on it!! Because of this, I demand that my folks begin moving this into my normal meat rotations. Like, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday shall be Smoked Salmon feasting days. As well as the occasional Tuesday, Thursday and weekend. Sounds balanced to me. I just made a weekly meal plan. Other canines: take note of my vast nutritional knowledge. I have prepared a PowerPoint in case my humans need more convincing.
In other news, Stanislaw and I are doing quite well and we're enjoying our new home and warmer climate. I don't have to wear clothes nearly as often and I haven't seen my rubber boots in almost a year!!! Stanislaw does miss the snow but finds that mud is just as much fun to roll in. We're adjusting just fine.

The only downside of living here is that mom just can't seem to find a vet that she likes nearly as much as our Chicago doctor. I especially dislike this one doc that muzzled me and then declared me to be 9 years old instead of the my previously presumed 7. (This was after I thrashed and sufficiently kicked her behind and made her a sweaty mess. AWESOME!) Dude, that's like 14 years ahead of schedule. Sure, my teeth are a titch worn down and I've just about lost all my hearing, but have you SEEN my beastly attitude and rippling running muscles? Whatever lady. This spaniel-o-manliness shall never reveal his age. You just keep guessing.

Speaking of age... some folks say that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Well, I've successfully proved them wrong. My mom got a trick idea from our buddies Mango and Dexter. For Christmas, Dad got us a blow-up peanut exercise ball and mom has been teaching us to balance on it. (By the way, do you like my carpet decorations??!!)Mom usually says that I make her look good and she actually has no clue how to actually train a dog. From my perspective, I can tell you that is absolutely true. She timed me from my first introduction to the balance ball to when I got the trick - 2 minutes. Yup. You read that right. The lazy human barely lifted a finger.
In the video (at the bottom of the post), she's both talking to me and using hand signals (off camera). I can't really hear her anymore, so I run off body language. But mom has learned that Stanislaw learns both the verbal and non-verbal cues by watching me to the trick and then copying what I do. He still doesn't quite get it, (he sits on the ball instead of balances and mom has to help him), but it's mostly there. Here are a pic of his manly rear placed on our balance ball.That's about all from us for now. It's about time I made my salmon presentation to my people. They have such short attention spans that I need to strike while they're focused in my direction. Sheesh. Some day I'll have them appropriately trained.

Your friend in feasting,
Big Pupi (and his brother, Stanislaw)

New Digs

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 15:19:00 +0000

Hey feaster folks. Sorry we've been MIA for oh-so long. Big things have happened.

We drove in the pukemobile for two whole days and wound up in a whole new world. My territory now has frogs and turtles and fishies and lizards and other awesome creatures for me to scream at and weeble on. I guess you can call this a homecoming for Big Pupi and me... we're back in the Land of 1,000 Summers. Otherwise known as "Texas." We've been having crazy fun and even pulled mom into a lake for some quality swimming time. Awesome! I love family bonding.

While we made the trip just fine, the camera is no where to be found. Once we're settled and have our wits about us again we'll resume our usual posting schedule complete with full-color photographs of your favorite cocker-beasts. Please try to contain your excitement.

And the feast continues.
Stanislaw

Tales of a Secret Howl

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 10:23:00 +0000

***
It's Big Pupi again:

My folks have had me for just about 5 years now, and in that time my mom has never ever heard me howl. She didn't believe dad when he told her that I burst into squealing song every time she takes Stanislaw out and leaves me home. The thing is, I will never howl as long as I know someone is home, and so the only times dad has ever heard me sing my secret melodies is when he's still in bed snoozeling and I can't see that he's home.

The requirements for a Secret Howl are rarely met, but on this particular early morning mom had to take Stan out for a second morning walk (he was having issues finding his poobles) and dad was still in bed. Convinced that I was alone, and without realizing that I was being filmed, I flexed the golden pipes and howled like a beast of frightening proportions.

My singing stuffy Elf, (whose proper name is Saint Elf de Apartment Next to Kitty Smell), gets me really revved up for a good howl. All that manly thrashing was caught on tape. The howling however... you can't see me do it, and so I'm letting you know now it wasn't me. There's no way that my testosterone-fueled voice can reach octaves that high. No way. Impossible. I think I've been framed.

My howl always has, and always will be, my secret howl.

Sorry mom. Better luck next time.
Big Pupi

I've Been Hosed.

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 19:55:00 +0000

***
Big Pupi has ISSUES.

When the clock strikes 4:30 PM my brother and I begin begging for our 5:15 feasting. We are never late, nope. Not ever. It drives mom crazy!! We stare at her, silently screaming through body language. Every time she looks up at us, I lick my lips and step gingerly from the right paw to the left. This is a polite way of saying: FEED ME YOU USELESS HUMAN!!!!
This goes on for the better part of an hour, and will not end until we are fed. Staring makes humans feel all squirmy and uncomfortable. It's pretty awesome!

A few nights ago, during my begging, my mom noticed that I was the one looking uncomfortable for a change. I tried to hold my gaze but kept feeling the need to tend to my manliness. As a beast which normally has laser focus, this was a tip off that something was indeed very wrong, and it didn't take long for my mom to realize that I once again suffered from a case of Angry Weebelitis. Again!! Why??!!
I immediately fell into a depression. I knew where this was heading - straight to the Place of Tile and Steel where I will be poked in the most inappropriate of places and handled in the most inappropriate of ways. DANG WEEBLE! Why must he spend the entire summer giving me grief?!

Mom and my vet were concerned about putting me on another dose of oral or injected antibiotics since this problem seems to continue throughout all of the warm weather months. That makes for a LOT of medication and a majorly increased risk of breeding some sort of super bacteria in my manliness. This sounds rather unpleasant, and I happen to be a big fan of my weeble. I don't want to harm him.

So the vet gave my mom some tools to bring home. I got all excited, thinking for sure that Dr. lady had set my mom up with some super awesome stuffy tools for my construction endeavors, but NO. What she got was this:
Sure, it's seriously better than the torture element she was given last year, but c'mon. Is this a stinkin' JOKE? I don't come up with these sorts of things and use them on people? What the heck is wrong with you humans?!

Unlike last summer's dentist's-looking monster device (which would inspire me to get outright violent with mom [a first], and which was never again attempted after I made my thoughts on it clear), this new device hooks into a soft rubber tube with holes at the end.
The evil contraption gets shoved a few inches into my manliness! THE HORROR! Then the medicine gets flushed through and when it's all done I get to feast on some serious cheese. Actually... I have to be honest with you... it's not so bad, especially compared to its predecessor. As long as my medicine is warm I'll stand there Like Good Boy for the few seconds until it's over with, and so far it hasn't made my weeble fall off. I know this for certain because I spend much time checking on such important matters.
I haven't had one single hint of Angry Weebelitis since this process began. I guess this is a good thing. E. coli of the wee was never all that enjoyable.

Once it is all said and done I feel the need to protect my manliness, and so I sleep with my legs in crossed protection positioning. That stinkin' hose can't get in here!
While all this torture and cruelty is happening to me, Stanislaw is being all Lounge Boyish in his man cave and mocking me for my weeble disorder. Whatever. He's got a bad case of noodlebutt and he knows it.
After a traumatic event my singing stuffy elf always makes me feel better, and so I thrash the heck out of him and force him to sing "Jingle Bells" about 3,543 times over and over and over again. I do this just to make my mom go insane and to remind her that even though she's got that hose thing, I've got the power in this place.
Oh, and don't think this whole event is going to deter me from staring you down for my dinner, dearest mother. Heck no. In fact, I'm thinking of pushing my start time up to 4:15, so I can get a FULL HOUR of slightly unnerving staring in every single day. Yeah, that's right. For as long as that hose is in the picture there will be staring contests and singing stuffies. Deal with it.

From a disgruntled dog with a happy weeble,
Big Pupi

Fashion Nugget

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 21:07:00 +0000

Just yesterday I was all busy snoozeling and being that sweet and angelic boy of innocence that you all know me to be...
...while my Stinkbutt Brother, the evil beast prone to the hatching of plans both evil and beastly, sat perched in his stuffy nest. And what is done in a nest, I ask? Things are HATCHED in a nest. Like evil plans, for example.
I should have known to stay away from Big Pupi when he began to separate his tool stuffies from the other stuffies (ones which lack all usefulness when it comes to building and construction).
Before I knew what was what I found myself donning my brother's latest creation: The Squirrel Vest.
He checked it for size and, upon realizing that he didn't know a Small from a Medium (let alone how to measure), declared the slightly-too-snug Squirrel Vest to be his best invention to date.
"It will keep you toasty in the frostiest of weather!" Big Pupi trumpeted before he clamored back in to his stuffy nest. "It'll fight a chill, battle fashion faux-pas and beat boredom! In fact, once I get my hands on a few REAL squirrels, this vest will offer private hunting lessons!"

Being the lovely-in-spirit, gentle-in-manner and sweet-in-temperament beast that you all know me to be, I decided to pose all nice-like for Big Pupi's fasion look book (available next March).
He then paid me in chewies. And by "paid" I mean that he didn't beat me up and take my chewie away within the first 10 seconds of my quality chew-time.
I do have to give my brother some credit... this squirrel vest does good things for the ol' figure. Just wait 'til you see my hiney in this!

Check it.
Stanislaw

****

P.S. - Big Pupi just got his 2010-11 Rabies titer result and once AGAIN his test came back as "protective"!! That means his last Rabies shot is STILL providing him with adequate immunity and there is no need to vaccinate. Actually, according to BP's vet, he's got a far GREATER ratio of antibodies than is required to "pass" the test.

BP hasn't received an actual Rabies vaccine injection since 2004, which means he's going into his 6th year of viable immunity from just ONE shot. Not too long ago my brother and I tested "protective" for our DHPP and avoided those vaccines as well. Mom wishes she could send Big Pupi's results to the Rabies Challenge Fund to help in their quest to reduce Rabies vaccination schedules to 5 and eventually 7-year increments. So far Big Pupi has proven that the 3-year vaccine (which is essentially the same as the 1-year) is viable for twice that time. Not too shabby.

In case you don't remember, my folks decided to stop vaccinating us through injection a few years ago because of a health scare. When Big Pupi received his last Rabies injection he developed a large lump at the injection site that grew hard and didn't move with his skin (movement would indicate a cyst and be less cause for worry). It lasted for over 2 years, and just as the vet was going to biopsy the lump to check for cancer the mass began to shrink. THREE YEARS after the original injection the lump went away.

Because of his history, our new vet doesn't want to vaccinate Big Pupi ever again for anything, and my folks couldn't agree more with this decision. As an added bonus, I also get to avoid any injected vaccines with good titer results. So... here's hoping for many more years of "protective" titer results and two healthy beasts!

Fumes and Flowers

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Tue, 18 May 2010 22:08:00 +0000

Hey feaster folks! I'm here today to tell you all about my mostest favoritest thing: feasting.

Last week, my people made another one of those fabulous trips to the meat packer and came home with backpacks filled with deliciousness for my bro and me (mostly for me). In between my excitable shrieks I heard them talking about a special dinner that was planned for us, and man-oh-man let me tell you... it was CRAZY TASTY.
We each got a fresh marrow bone and a few ounces of succulent beefiness attached to its side. NICE! I'll have mine rare, please. That green stuff on the side is some broccoli and carrot baby food with a digestive enzyme hidden below.

Because these feastings were what my mom calls "project meals," my stinkbutt bro and I were made to eat in our crates. When we get feastables that require a bit of work, we tend to toss the meats about and sometimes can get into a growling match with each other. I don't know why they have a problem with me tossing my marrow bones around the apartment. I personally don't mind it one bit.
I LOVE my project feasts so much, my tail never stops waggling and I purr. I must have gotten to an especially good part of this feast at the end of this video because I start cooing really loudly:

It didn't take very long for me to finish and give my mom begging eyes for my next course. Certainly this was the appetizer, no?Big Pupi wanted to take his newly nakedized bone out of his feasting cage and onto the sofa for some quality snugs. My folks put a stop to that right away. They're always party poopers.This is my handiwork:Nice job, right? Because my bro and I went on a long run earlier that day my people thought we could use the extra calories and fat of a whole marrow bone. (Normally we're only allowed to eat 1/2 in a day.) But this time around... they were right!! My body needed that extra feasting so badly that it held onto it for another 24 hours, and my hiney tooted with joy and celebrations. I made sure to let everyone know what I had for dinner by baking air biscuits in the elevator and forcing people to abandon the ride early and take the stairs. They were probably running to get their own feasting marrow!! They can thank me for the dinner idea - and the extra exercise - some other time.

A few days after my feasting adventure my humans took my brother and me on a hiking adventure. SO FUN! It was a perfect day to drag dad around by his waist leash for a 7-mile bird-hunt through the woods.
I trudged ahead like the wild beast hunter extraordinaire that I am.
My brother is more of a gentle soul and observer of flora and fauna. (I prefer to eat flora and sometimes the fecal leavings of fauna - whatever "fauna" may be.)
We got super crazy muddy jumping into rivers and kicking up dusty trail dirt all over our bellies and legs. AWESOME! I enjoy a little grit between my toes. Everyone knows that hiking is all about getting filthy, testing the home cooking of the local wildlife while your people aren't looking, leaping head first into algae-coated water, and bringing about 10 ticks home on your ears.

I guess that last bit wasn't very much appreciated by my people because Big Pupi and I wound up getting a scrub down, having full body checks and getting our ear furs shaved down to nothing so those nasty little buggers could be plucked from our tasty meat-feasted bodies. Mom says we have pancake heads now, and I'd agree in BP's case~
~but nothing can take away from all the handsome on this face.
In the life of a beast there's nothing quite like an awesome feast to fuel an afternoon hunting in the woods. Yes. Yes, indeed.

Your good-looking, sweet-smelling, tick-free friend in feasting,
Stanislaw

It Had to be Done

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 22:08:00 +0000

Clover stuffy deserved it.
He'll never mock me again in front of his stuffy friends.
I sure showed him who's boss. (Normally it's mom. But this time it was me.)
I knocked the stuffing right out of him.
Then stretched his guts to make a point.
Point being: You don't mess with a Stanislaw
Word out to my homies from the snuggle ball.

Irish Yet Unlucky

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 20:11:00 +0000

***
Big Pupi isn't pleased:

You may have noticed that I have been blessed with devilishly handsome freckles. For this reason, mom calls me her "Irish Son" (making my pierogie-loving brother her "Polish Son"). Despite my clover-bearing heritage and the fact that I happen to look smashing in green, St. Patrick's Day is not a lucky one for me. Why, you might ask?

St. Paddy's makes my weeble angry.

The first time I found myself being horrendously violated by my doctor for an infection of my manliness was on this same Irish holiday one year ago. And this year, on the day us Irish folk should be drinking from green water bowls and getting kisses, I was back at the vet with another bout of Angry Weeble-itis.

If you remember, I have a "condition" which makes my manhood a little exaggerated for a beast of my proportions. When you add this to my amazing flexibility (I can hike a hinder up perpendicular to the ground when marking my territory), it makes for some weeble-flopping-on-stuff action. I pick up some nice bacteria doing this, and it always hits as soon as the weather warms up - which is March in my neck of the woods. Or city.

The doctor had to do the most horrible of horrible things to me at the Place of Tile and Steel. She actually took a little red rubber piece of tubing and SHOVED IT where I'm pretty certain it was NOT supposed to go, and then flushed sterile saline all over my privacy and I'm pretty sure I never ever ever want that to happen again. Humans are totally insane and I truly think they enjoy a little cocker spaniel torture every once in a while.

If I could have blushed through my freckles I would have. And to add insult to infection, I overheard my mom saying that I was a "neutered" male. What? No way. After a few bark park discussions on what "neutered" actually means, I assured my people that I, in fact, knew where my balls where and upon our return home from the doctor I brought one out to show my mom.
See? I think this qualifies me as "in tact," although I really don't like labels.

I spent the remainder of the evening gripping my ball as tightly as possible so as to ease any concerns about the degree of my masculinity. Or maybe it was just to reassure myself. I also made certain to check on my manhood often, as I was very concerned that I would try to run away after its day of horrors.
Thanks to an antibiotic, my weeble is no longer angry and seems to be doing quite well. But now mom holds me back when I mark my territory so that my manliness doesn't come in contact with anything anymore. This really screws with my aim, and it creates a problem of grand proportions since I like to lift my leg no less than a 1,000 times on every walk. I call it "going shopping," and a beast can't make any purchases if he can't hit his mark.

But... I guess all's well that ends well, and at least I've got my stuffy balls.
Your in-tact friend,

Big Pupi

Why I Love My Feasts

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 23:48:00 +0000

I swear that this photo wasn't inspired by some serious snoozely brotherly snugging. That being said, shortly after this picture was taken I insisted that I be taken to the Place of Tile and Steel for a cootie vaccine and general dork prevention. I think mom understood my dire state, and Big Pupi and I were whisked away to the Place of Tile and Steel for a check-up.

She called it our "annual" and if I had known that a cootie test involved needles, ear checks and vet techs taking my blood without my permission - I would have never made the request. What a mistake! Big Pupi suffers from some serious White Coat Syndrome and is immediately turned into a pile of shivering mush the second our doctor walks into the exam room... and for no good reason, because our doctor is especially nice and generous with the skritches and sweet talk. I think she is totally awesome and I do my best grunty bummy hops when she scratches between my hip bones. The Place of Tile and Steel isn't all bad!

Doctor lady had lots of nice things to say about us. Our weight is ideal (I'm pretty sure this means that I am a beast of massive proportions), our ears are clean and our teeth are perfectly pearly white. We were also deemed Extreme Athletes because we have a heart rate of 60 beats per minute, when a normal heart for a dog our size beats 100-140 times per minute. This is really big news for Big Pupi. When he was adopted he had to be treated for full-fledged heartworm, which can often leave scars on the heart tissue and surrounding arteries. This damage can make the heart less efficient. It's nice to know that Big Pupi's ticker is at its absolute best. I think we owe this to all of the fast hunts that I drag my humans on. They can thank me later.

Because of Big Pupi's age and his history of iffy kidney values, he had to have extra blood stolen for a senior blood panel. It came back perfect! Every single organ value was right on target, and his creatinine levels have kept a steady, low, healthy number. This is huge news, because when my folks first took BP home his post-shelter blood work showed that he was at risk for kidney failure. His doctor recommended that he be checked every 6 months for his kidney values (creatinine and BUN), and the result of each test got worse and worse as time went on. Eight weeks after introducing the raw diet, mom had his values checked again and to her surprise they had dropped well within the healthy range and haven't budged since. This latest blood test confirmed that his kidneys remain in perfect working order and are no longer cause for any concern whatsoever. What a relief!

And to top it all off, our titer tests came back positive for immunity AGAIN, which means that we get to skip our DHPP vaccine for the third year in a row!! Makes you wonder why we are injected every single year with these vaccines, right?! That would be like your humans needing their tetanus, polio, diptheria, rotovirus, and meningitis vaccines every single year for their entire lives. It's a little much, especially when you know that over-vaccination in pets has been linked to malignant cancers. And I'll take any excuse to avoid a needle.

We've been elated after this vet visit. They haven't always been this good in the past. And it was our start on the raw diet that marked this sudden change in veterinary events. Thanks delicious feasts! All the more reason for me to eat more raw meatables. Right? RIGHT? I'll let you know how dinner works our for me tonight.

Happy feasting my friends. Your healthy manly bud,
Stanislaw

I Can't Believe My Feast-Finding Peepers

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 16:25:00 +0000

***
Big Pupi writes in fear:

To my absolute horror I have discovered that my mom's torturous reach has extended far beyond my hallowed home. For this, my fellow canines, I am sorry.

Many of you may remember my brother and me being subjected to such cruelty... an act that many humans would call "getting toasty" or "bundling up." I grow furs for these purposes and do not need my manliness compromised by the crushing nerdification and undignified "doggy sweater." And to add insult to fuzzy cotton/blend knittings, my mom sells said devices-of-horror in her Etsy shop. It would seem that her reach is far greater than I ever anticipated.

Sure, it gets cold where I live. So cold, in fact, that if my danglies hadn't been cut off they'd have frozen off about 2 years ago. But when donning such cozy duds I must turn my face away from my friends, lest they recognize me and commence mocking. Could you even imagine if they caught me in this?
or (GASP!) this??Okay, okay... so that skull one is a little bit more bad@ss and more befitting of a beast of my proportions. But how do you think Stanislaw feels being forced to step out in public in this??Can you just FEEL the desperation on our faces? The sadness? The WARM AND SNUGLY HUMILIATION??

Brace your beastly selves. It only gets worse.

Mom has attacked one of my nakedest and shriekingly beastly friends.

Photo courtesy of Tadpole's Life Pond

Oh my dearest Tadpole. See how he cringes? Watch as he is forced into a zen-like state of meditations just to keep himself from totally panicking and heading for the snow-covered hills.

Photo courtesy of Tadpole's Life Pond

And take note of the concern on his sister's face. She can't bring herself to say it, but I know that Fig is contemplating this sudden and shocking lack of raging beast that was once the great and masculine Tadpole.

Photo courtesy of Tadpole's Life Pond

Oh Taddy I feel your pain. In fact, I think I shall call you T-Pain from now on. Perhaps a career in rapping will restore your street cred. Just don't do it in that sweater.

I just can't believe this...

Big Pupi

Raw Food Diet, Day ? (We're seriously off track)

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 22:09:00 +0000

So, at some point our counting went completely bananas because January 30th was our 2-year anniversary of feasting on raw meatables. Seriously... get with the program MOM!! Even I can add better than you. Check it:

1 goat
+ 2 rabbits
+ 7 oz. green tripe
+ 1.5 chickens cut into quarters
____________
1 majorly delicious feast fit for a Stanislaw

See? My IQ is 234,003. My friend at the bark park has his PhD and he gave me the test, so I KNOW that number is correct. Don't even try to argue, mom. Your IQ is 7. My friend told me that too.

Anyways, we're sorry for being so absent lately. My humans are so busy with work and school and making sure there's cheese money for my feasts that there just hasn't been much time. But don't fret, I am still a spoiled beast and have been kept in fleece blankies and tasty chewies. I'm really good at not letting stress get to me...

...unless mom appears with the buzzy beard-stealing machine. In the cruelest of cruel acts she removed my manliness. I mean, C'MON!! She said something about "stink" and "matts" and I assured her that I don't give a flying poople about those things if it means I have to end up looking like this:Horrors! Do you see the crazy frowny face I've got going on? But I do enjoy giving my bro a hard time about his shaved dorkiness. I can't even believe that one dog could possess such a high degree of dork!

I mean, my bro is so nerdy he's all about being Good Boy. He even passed his 2010 therapy dog certification test with 152 out of 150 points. Yes, you read that right. He knows so many tricks that he got 2 extra points for it. And mom didn't even have time to study with him! He just did it all and was all about feasting on cheesy bits. I don't get it. To top it off, he was welcomed into a second therapy program that has a 1.5 year waiting list... and he got right in. WHAT GIVES? I'm a fun dude and like to play with kids. You just jump all over them and lick their faces, right? I CAN DO THAT!!! I'm really GOOD at that!!!

We haven't been totally out of the loop and with much excitement we threw our hats into the ring for our first year of Mango Minster. It's totally awesome. I'm in for the Sporty category because that's where the beasts belong and Big Pupi is up for Working because that's where the dorky Good Boy dogs go. WHATEVER! Please vote for us! We're in for some major competition with the other canines in our groups.

'Tis all for now, my beastly friends. Stay toasty, which I would do if mom didn't take all my manly furs. It's time for a dude-like prancing in protest.

Stanislaw

Raw Food Diet, Day 572- Just Say 'No' to NASCAR

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 22:54:00 +0000

***
Big Pupi might need anger management:

I never realized how much I detest NASCAR... until my mom came home with this toy. The evil, possessed little thing makes the most horrible growling sounds and is actually able to run away from me ON ITS OWN!! That's totally not kosher!!! Toys are supposed to be submissive, and accept their fate in my jaws. But this angry little bugger does not obey the rules and it just filled me with hatred and the need to bark and do some growling of my own. I REALLY don't like rule breakers!

It was time for me to release the beast, and the NASCAR toy got it. Try not to let the video or my rippling beast muscles of fury intimidate you. I can't help that I'm such an animal.

Rest in Pieces, evil toy.
Big Pupi

Raw Food Diet, Day 560- It's That Time of Year

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 12:19:00 +0000

To all our feaster friends: Your beastly buds,
Stanislaw and Big Pupi

Raw Food Diet, Day 654- I Was Right

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 21:10:00 +0000

I was totally on it. Santa did come early. He must have seen my beacon of Good Boy light shining brightly through the chilly Chicago sky and decided to make a special trip just for me. Too bad he didn't leave any venison along with my presents, but I suppose I'm not too down about that.

We only got one present so far - we have to wait for the rest. But this present was a SUPER CRAZY AWESOME and when my folks brought it out to us I was so totally jaw droppingly pumped!!!Big Pupi couldn't believe his googlie eyeballs either.
It was our very own, Joe Stains-inspired nuzzle nest. With my smooth moves and delicate, manly-like prancing I managed to beat my stinkbutt bro and was the first to model the nest for mom. I made sure to have spikeysaurus with me for my photo shoot.
Big Pupi watched from our bolstered blankie sofa protector thingy and gave me the stink eye. He was so jealous!
I tried my best to show him, in no uncertain terms of body language, that this was the most comfortable nest of nuzzliness that my bahonkus had ever rested upon. (Notice the delicious yogurt remnants around my feasting hole. I'm saving that for later.)
I made sure to nuzzle my schnozzle deep into the fuzzled bed of heavenly squishes.
And when my folks weren't looking, I sent my brother mocking messages.
And that stinkbutt sent them right back to me.
In an attempt to make me jealous, he created a stuffy and blankie nest of his own. It totally doesn't even compare!
I quickly discovered that a bed made of 1/2 nuzzle nest and 1/2 human is probably the best. The front part gets scritches from your person while the back portion remains in bum-cushing luxury. It's handy to be as long and masculine as I am - you can stretch to both places.
Big Pupi did not approve of this attention, and began to flirt with mommy from the (un)comfort of his not-so nuzzle nest.
To prevent a war from breaking out, my humans gave us a set of chewies. We are allowed to have Wholesome Hide chewies and only while my people are home. I have beastly jaws of steel, and these are the only rawhide bones my humans can find that are super thick, use only one rolled sheet of rawhide, and are completely made in the USA. (You can read this Whole Dog Journal article to find out what to look for in a rawhide chew, and why a USA-made chewy is so important if you live in the USA.) There are no compressed pieces, and they actually take me a super long time to work through. My brother, on the other hand, can hardly make a dent!
I made sure to stare my chewy down while providing a munching it will never forget.
When Big Pupi doesn't want to chew any more, he holds the bone in his feasting hole and carries it around - all so I can't get a hold of it.
But I didn't want his chewy anyway. It's half the size of mine! Plus, I'd have to leave this bum-pleasing nuzzle nest to harass him. So he got the day off. I was one happy, content boy.
My parents don't realize it yet, but Santa also gave me another present... both of my folks are home today! Dad has a big exam tonight and he stayed home to study. I've learned that "study" means that I lie across his chest and nibble on his book corners. Mom got to stay home because she used her hand as a resting place for an Xacto knife at work yesterday. So as long as I make sure to ask for scritches on her right side, I'm good to go.

Thanks Santa!
(But where is that venison I asked for?)

Stanislaw

Raw Food Diet, Day 652- We're still stinky!

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 17:18:00 +0000

Oh, feasting! We've been missing for so long! But do not fear, I'm as handsome and as beastly as you remember (or maybe even more so):Tons and millions of things have happened since we posted last. I'd love to take you through every little bit and the most important things - like my daily feasts and whatnot - but mom says I have to preserve her typing fingers and stick to the big stuff. Let's get this ball rolling...

My stinkbutt brother had another one of his surgeries and another 10 sebaceous adenomas were removed. My folks had learned their lesson from last time, and Big Pupi was all bandaged up and had socks on his hinders to prevent him from scratching. Three days went by and he was doing super well and healing fast. Before they had to leave for work on Monday, my folks wrapped him up with lots of cotton gauze and a sweatshirt to make sure he would be safe when they got home. Well... for reasons that I will not say, I WEEBLED ON MY BROTHER while my folks were gone!! I weed all down his neck, and it soaked into his sweatshirt and bandages and sat on his wounds for hours! When my mom came home my bro was shaking from pain and she disinfected him in the bathtub and dried up his surgery sites. Everything was looking good that night, so she put clean bandages on and checked on him in the morning.

Well... all was recovering really well, except for one incision which had decided to ooze green stinky sticky stuff. Mom took him straight in to the Place of Tile and Steel and he was put on 2 weeks of antigermicide green feasting pills. He's totally healed up and fine now, but I still won't tell anyone why I lifted my leg on my bro! BP is such a tattle tale I'm surprised he hasn't ratted me out either. Mmm... rats.

In happier, feasting-related news, Mom came home with this yesterday:
SWEEEET!! My butthead bro has to be retested for his 2010 therapy certification and string cheese is the most delicious and effective training tool ever in the whole wide world. What does this mean for me, you ask? I get to feast on some too! I saw dad unwrap a cheesy log of deliciousness and immediately went into CuteBeastStarvingInNeedOfCheese begging position.
It makes my eyes go all googly and drooly beads collect at my feasting hole. My bum immediately assumes Good Boy positioning and I whine softly with the extreme need for a cheese-ing.
Big Pupi's bum also responds to the stringy cheesiness and he gets anti-gravity lip jowlies.
We're so totally pumped for our training schedule to kick up a notch. My tummy totally digs it.

In torture-related news, mom made my brother a new fur-covering device. Unlike his last one, this recent edition has room for a harness underneath and a harness-leash hole, which is much more conducive for embarrassing, sweater-wearing walkies. Notice how the high collar strategically holds in his massive amounts of neck jowly flesh:
It's like an instant neck lift! Mom wanted him to look totally preppy - like he'd be found sipping sparking water in a posh ski lodge. My brother's ever-increasing level of dork-dom never ceases to amaze me!
Sheesh! Totally glad that isn't me! I'm way too dude-like to pull that one off.

In my own most relevant and important news, my medicine is still working pretty well and now I can do my Good Boy Weebles and Poobles outside even when there are puddles and reflections all over the place. It's pretty cool, because I feast on little liver treats each time I empty the tanks and ignore my triggers. In fact, I think I've been such Good Boy lately that Santa came early and left a box full of presents just for me! I know this because I knocked the box off a shelf and dove head first into the fabulous stuffy explosion. Mom said I wasn't allowed to have it just yet, but I'm confident that it will all be heading my soon. I am just about the best boy out there, and since Santa doesn't keep track of my indoor poobles (2 - I got excited), I have a perfectly clean track record. Because of this Good Boyness, I made a long list of Christmas goodies. I'm totally pumped!

Time to go nibble on dad's slippers for a while, and perhaps jump on his belly while he's snoozeling. Santa also overlooks those Naughty Boyish things, I just know it.

Your holiday angel,
Stanislaw

Raw Food Diet, Day 605- Lessons in Prozac

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 21:21:00 +0000

Hi guys! Guess what? Yesterday I hit the 3-week mark since starting my medicine, and now my folks are allowed to really focus on my training and re-conditioning. It is SO FUN!! And I think that this is the first time I have ever really enjoyed it.
Today mom and I went on a super long, super awesome walk to the bark park. I got kind of distracted a few times heading out there, but I always brought my attention back. That's big news! There were a few extreme stressors that unfortunately we were not able to avoid - like the above-ground train that comes roaring about my head. I HATE IT!! It makes me tuck my tail, twitch, try to run and scream as loudly as I can. But on this walk I was able to do Sit Like Good Boy and Shake while feasting hard on beefy jerky treats. I also tried really hard to nibble a big treat from mom's hand while the train passed, and I think I was a little rough on her with my feasting teeth because I was so nervous. Sorry mom!

We made it to the park and I played the entire time. I was also picked on by this big dog whose human kept saying "He doesn't bite, don't worry" and mom got really mad because ALL dogs can bite! And wouldn't you know... this dog got himself a mouth full of Stanislaw - TWICE!! That human had to do the walk of shame from the park with his meany pup, but being the party animal that I am I didn't let it get to me (I wasn't actually injured). I continued to romp and play like a wild beast. I did absolutely no screaming whatsoever, and although I'd go through the motions that start me off on my running/screaming patterns, I never actually completed a single one. More big news!!

On the walk home I was tired and enjoying a decently wet belly (thanks sprinkler!) so I did Heel Like Good Boy almost the entire way. I kept making eye contact with mom ON MY OWN and feasting on treats like crazy! Again, there was no screaming during our walkies and barely any whining either. I'm NEVER EVER quiet when I'm outside!!

So, with our first day of training done I'm thinking that I made my folks pretty proud. I still suffer from many of my symptoms, but they seem to have significantly released their grip on me. I definitely need to work through the habit portion of my behaviors, but the fact that things like reflections and lights now rarely send me into a frenzy shows us that my little blue pill is doing its job. I still twitch on the rare occasion and I still cave, but I'm more "conscious" when doing it. The portion of my loonies that would make me manic has toned down a lot and now I can do something my people really seem to enjoy. It's called "Focus." And I don't even have to try that hard!

Now, don't get me wrong - I'm still my hyperactive, party-lovin', stink-breathin', Gumby-esque self, and all that is Stanislaw is very much present. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm still totally crazy...

...CRAZY BEASTLY!!!

Prozac-ed and ready for action,
Stanislaw

Raw Food Diet, Day 602- If You Build It, They Will Feast

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 14:14:00 +0000

***
Big Pupi is one helpful dude:

So. When I heard that my buddy Joe is planning to open his own garage, I decided to lend a paw and brush up on my construction skillz. Somehow mom knew I was going to need the proper tools for this, and last week she placed my very own drill in my feasting hole. If I'm not mistaken, (and I most certainly am not), once a boy owns tools he becomes a professional carpenter. So, Mr. Joe, I am ready for work.I read my drill's manual very carefully, and after I shred the heck out of it I got to work checking and testing my new tool.
It makes this fabulous nails-on-chalkboard sound every time I roll over it, which I believe is how the On and Off switch works. In a test of durability (you never know with these battery-operated drills!) I nibbled on its bum for a while.
I realized that my bum required some cushioning if I am to concentrate, so I moved my work station to my snoozel spot. Upon entering, I noticed that my bed was terribly lumpy and uncomfortable on my sensitive, manly bahonkus! But this was the perfect opportunity to test my drillin' skillz before starting work with Joe. I would drill until I found the problem! Just call me Captain FixIt.
But to my ABSOLUTE HORROR, this evil thing popped out from under my rear!!!
WHAT?!! The source of lumps! The pea under my mattress! There aren't enough drills in the UNIVERSE to get rid of this pain in the bum.
That being said, a Stanislaw makes for a rather decent hot water bottle of sorts, and I snoozeled next to his toastiness for a while. (NO!! We were NOT cuddling!! I know what you're thinking!!!)

Once my mind was rested, I embarked on a few brain teasers to ensure that I would be as sharp as a tack for my first day on the job. In an effort to conserve time (after all, time is cheese money), I did a light yoga workout while solving my puzzle. I think they call that "multi-feasting."
After some great success with my puzzle toy (mom put string cheese bits in it, so I was über-motivated), I decided it was time to rest my genius once again. But this time I would snoozel with Carrot Top and NOT my stinkbutt brother.

Dear Joe,

Send a weeble mail when you need me. I am skilled with my drill, my mind is ready and my beastly muscles have been conditioned. If I had dewclaws I'd sharpen them. I'm really good at napping, feasting, feasting and thrashing stuffies - all things which I believe make me ideal for shop work.

I have successfully run my own business for over 6 years now (a pooble factory) and have managed to train 2 unwieldy humans. I am spritely and responsible, and have an awesome credit score.

I wrote my resume in the snow last winter. I hope you can still find it.

Thank you, and I look forward to speaking with you soon.
Big Pupi the Drill Master

Raw Food Diet, Day 596- A Black and Tan

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 20:53:00 +0000

Heya feaster dudes!

After leaving a comment on my new buddy Euri's blog (he's a fellow Super Spaniel), I was inspired to write this little post~

When I was first taken into foster care, I was thought to have some black and tan spaniel in me. Why? Because I had rust-colored splotches on my face! I KNOW!! I didn't believe it either! Mom had to dig up some pics to prove it to me.

Here's a skinny photo of my first day as a rusty adopted beast:

(click to enlarge)

And here's a good one that shows my rustiness:

And now for the present-day comparison photo:
Crazy, RIGHT?! That scrawny dog doesn't even look like me!! The color change happened slowly, and started after I began feasting on real meat and gaining weight. I guess my body was getting enough nutrients in my manly muscles that it could spare some for my beastly coat. I'm not that into fashion or anything, but I like the attention my new duds get me. Apparently humans are like birds - they like shiny things.

But even more than those handsome pics of yours truly, I like the ones of me annoying the HECK out of my brother when I first moved in:
HA! That's me :!BOOFING!: at his bum and driving him totally bonkers! You can almost hear him telepathically asking mom if he can return me to cocker rescue. Can you imagine his face when he learned that this beast-o is here for good?! AWESOME!

Long, dark and handsome,
Stanislaw

Raw Food Diet, Day 591- Beasts and Their Boats

noreply@blogger.com (Stanislaw) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 20:26:00 +0000

***
Big Pupi talks about his big day:

I had SUCH AN EXCITING day today! But before I get into that, I'll give you a little update on my brother~
Stanley has been on his medication for over a week now, and boy-oh-boy is it helping! The intense snoozely side effects passed after only 2 days, and since then he's been steadily climbing uphill. Mom hasn't caught him doing one single fly-biting twitch, and although he still whines a lot he doesn't really scream anymore when outside. Also, when we are out for our runs about town my people are able to get Stanley to "watch me" and "sit, wait" when we're stuck at a red light. It's fairly easy to get his attention now! He'll even "come, sit" during our potty walks outside! (All for cheese and beefy jerky, of course.)

My bro is still a wild and wacky, hyperactive cocker spaniel, but that dark, manic part of his personality is fading. He just seems happier - lighter, almost. Furthermore, Stan will begin a compulsive behavior and then never follow through with it. For example, he'll look into the TV to see the reflection, and instead of getting all crazed and obsessed he'll just sniff and walk away. Same goes with his bark park patterns - he'll go to one of his "stations" out of what looks like habit, and the compulsion to run his pattern never actually kicks in. He'll stand there for a moment before turning and looking for a fellow party animal to thrash with. Normally we'll lose him to one of his triggers and patterns, and never really get him back for the rest of the day. It's AMAZING! My folks are so proud of him.
He's been getting extra squenches and snugs for being so Good Boy-ish. I'm jealous! My people are going to try their best to keep from pushing him too far too fast, and we still have another 2 weeks before the Prozac builds up in his body. They will develop a training plan once they see where he's at then.

Now onto his more intelligent and gracious older brother ... ahem, ME.

Today I got to go on a doggy boat cruise with my fellow therapy dog friends! Mom and I got up nice and early to make it to the ticket booth on time, then I got to shake my tail feathers at these awesome canines while we waited to board.
There were SO MANY lady chihuahuas also in line that were not with our group. I was in HEAVEN!! I LOVE wee lady chihuahua doggettes! I made sure to flex my rippling muscles and prance all manly-like to convince them of my beastliness.

I was determined to snag a seat at the front of the boat so that I could get first dibs on any stinks and smells. But first, I made sure to ask mom if it was okay with her that I sit on her lap for the ENTIRETY of the 90-minute trip.
I didn't like this dog too much because he kept trying to break into mom's bag and eat all my Good Boy cheese bit treats, but I have to admit - dude could pose for some good photo ops.It was gloriously sunny and I relaxed under the toastiness of the sun's rays.On our exit from the river in to the lake, we saw these crazy bee-hive buildings. Can you imagine the size of those bees!! I've eaten a few bees in my lifetime and let me tell you... those guys are SPICY!!Once in the lake we saw my aquarium and stadium (I have weebled on the lawns and therefore they belong to me.) I prefer to call them the Underwater Feasting Center and Supreme Dog Park.
I became very interested in this crazy ball/balloon thingy and wondered what king of fetch is played with something that large. I figured it was probably Great Dane sized but didn't smell any horse dogs on the horizon. I was confused.
The ball got even bigger the closer we got to Navy Pier (also mine).
Our human boat speaker guy said that this lighthouse was once rented to a human for $1 a year as long as he took care of the lighthouse. He lived there for a few years before being evicted for being too much of a party animal. I wonder if he ever met Stanley.
These onlookers were all juicy and delicious. I took much interested in both of them, but they honked at me in mocking since I couldn't actually give chase.
This is Merchandise Mart. It was built by Marshall Fields as a place for all Chicago merchants to sell their wares. Its grand opening took place about 90 hours before Black Friday, after which the building went bankrupt. Fields had to sell the building to the Kennedy family for about $12 million in cheese money. They held the building for over 60 years before selling it to another company for over $700 million. I wonder how many chickens and goats you can buy with that...
This building was the famous Sears Tower, but now it's called the Willis Tower. I hope my name never gets changed like that! There are also rumors that it will be turned silver. Remind me to weeble on this one later.Towards the end of our visit I spotted the most important and well-named landmark of all~~ this boat!!Our boat eventually docked and I said bye to my buddies. Mom and I headed home and I did a little of this:That is... until I saw her giving some unearned attention to Stanislaw. So I grabbed a piece of cardboard from the rubbish and pranced about trying to steal her attention away.
It worked! I was so Good Boy today that I DESERVE all of the attention!
We hope everyone enjoyed their weekend!

Snoozeling with my cardboard,
Big Pupi