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<?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" media="screen" href="/~d/styles/atom10full.xsl"?><?xml-stylesheet type="text/css" media="screen" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~d/styles/itemcontent.css"?><feed xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:openSearch="http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearch/1.1/" xmlns:georss="http://www.georss.org/georss" xmlns:gd="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005" xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0" xmlns:feedburner="http://rssnamespace.org/feedburner/ext/1.0" gd:etag="W/&quot;D08MQH0-cSp7ImA9WhVUFk4.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1338209608815525267</id><updated>2012-05-21T17:31:21.359-04:00</updated><category term="Villains" /><category term="Theme Songs" /><category term="Chess" /><category term="The World Is Not Enough" /><category term="You Only Live Twice" /><category term="The Spy Who Loved Me" /><category term="Q" /><category term="Largo" /><category term="Goldfinger" /><category term="Tomorrow Never Dies" /><category term="Live And Let Die" /><category term="Roger Moore" /><category term="Quantum" /><category term="Die Another Day" /><category term="Names" /><category term="Bond Girls" /><category term="Never Say Never Again" /><category term="Poker" /><category term="Sean Connery" /><category term="On Her Majesty's Secret Service" /><category term="Tracy" /><category term="George Lazenby" /><category term="For Your Eyes Only" /><category term="Spoofs" /><category term="Contests" /><category term="Barry Nelson" /><category term="Pierce Brosnan" /><category term="Casino Royale (1954)" /><category term="Americans" /><category term="Connery vs. Moore" /><category term="A View To A Kill" /><category term="Timothy Dalton" /><category term="Thunderball" /><category term="Lists" /><category term="Pussy Galore" /><category term="Housekeeping" /><category term="Goldeneye" /><category term="Austin Powers" /><category term="Hildebrandt Rarity" /><category term="Profound Silliness" /><category term="Felix Leiter" /><category term="Parodies" /><category term="Casino Royale (2006)" /><category term="Moonraker" /><category term="Casino Royale (1967)" /><category term="Dr. No" /><category term="Gadgets" /><category term="Diamonds Are Forever" /><category term="Blofeld" /><category term="Robot Chicken" /><category term="Comic Strips" /><category term="Vodka" /><category term="Kronsteen" /><category term="Blofeld Kill" /><category term="Ken Adam" /><category term="The Living Daylights" /><category term="Quantum of Solace" /><category term="Skyfall" /><category term="S.P.E.C.T.R.E." /><category term="Le Chiffre" /><category term="Licence To Kill" /><category term="Sylvia Trench" /><category term="Oddjob" /><category term="Teasers" /><category term="Auric Goldfinger" /><category term="The Lazenby Question" /><category term="From Russia With Love" /><category term="Daniel Craig" /><category term="Bourne" /><category term="The Man With the Golden Gun" /><category term="Peter Lorre" /><category term="Bond 23" /><category term="Trailer" /><category term="Star Trek" /><category term="Blu-Ray" /><category term="Octopussy" /><title>I Expect You To Die!</title><subtitle type="html">The eccentric ravings of &lt;i&gt;&lt;b&gt;snell&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/b&gt;, who loves James Bond more than is healthy</subtitle><link rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#feed" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/" /><link rel="next" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default?start-index=11&amp;max-results=10&amp;redirect=false&amp;v=2" /><author><name>snell</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/06181997862745538999</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sr0qbQ6lRSI/AAAAAAAAJag/FtpbC2HXemM/S220/monstrobot.jpg" /></author><generator version="7.00" uri="http://www.blogger.com">Blogger</generator><openSearch:totalResults>71</openSearch:totalResults><openSearch:startIndex>1</openSearch:startIndex><openSearch:itemsPerPage>10</openSearch:itemsPerPage><atom10:link xmlns:atom10="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/IExpectYouToDie" /><feedburner:info uri="iexpectyoutodie" /><atom10:link xmlns:atom10="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" rel="hub" href="http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/" /><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;D08MQH09fSp7ImA9WhVUFk4.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1338209608815525267.post-1854234244999915688</id><published>2012-05-21T17:29:00.003-04:00</published><updated>2012-05-21T17:31:21.365-04:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2012-05-21T17:31:21.365-04:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Skyfall" /><title>The Official Teaser</title><content type="html">Hell, yes.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;iframe width="420" height="236" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/24mTIE4D9JM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen&gt;&lt;/iframe&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Is it November yet?&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1338209608815525267-1854234244999915688?l=expectyoutodie.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~4/eLAX4U_8lsI" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/feeds/1854234244999915688/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2012/05/official-teaser.html#comment-form" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/1854234244999915688?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/1854234244999915688?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~3/eLAX4U_8lsI/official-teaser.html" title="The Official Teaser" /><author><name>snell</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/06181997862745538999</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sr0qbQ6lRSI/AAAAAAAAJag/FtpbC2HXemM/S220/monstrobot.jpg" /></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="http://img.youtube.com/vi/24mTIE4D9JM/default.jpg" height="72" width="72" /><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2012/05/official-teaser.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;Ak4MRng5cSp7ImA9WhRVE04.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1338209608815525267.post-8565756288884099281</id><published>2012-01-11T22:21:00.003-05:00</published><updated>2012-01-11T22:29:47.629-05:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2012-01-11T22:29:47.629-05:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Blu-Ray" /><title>Like Offering Heroin To An Addict</title><content type="html">As the clock ticks down closer to &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Skyfall&lt;/span&gt; (&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;302 days!!&lt;/span&gt;), &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;MGM/Eon&lt;/span&gt; want to take &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;more&lt;/span&gt; of my damned money...and I'm helpless to stop them:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-H8zSGiOpcM4/Tw5Rw5duhVI/AAAAAAAAX58/fy_xfSOrXmU/s1600/bond50boxskewbrd.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 317px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-H8zSGiOpcM4/Tw5Rw5duhVI/AAAAAAAAX58/fy_xfSOrXmU/s400/bond50boxskewbrd.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5696580479171331410" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Damn you, bastards!!!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I have to say, it's a &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;helluva&lt;/span&gt; sweet looking package. And &lt;a href="http://www.amazon.com/Bond-50-Complete-Collection-Blu-ray/dp/B006U1J5ZY/ref=sr_tr_1?s=movies-tv&amp;amp;ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1326338361&amp;amp;sr=1-1"&gt;if you pre-order it at &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Amazon&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/a&gt;, its only &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;$199.99&lt;/span&gt;, which works out to &lt;span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"&gt;9 bucks&lt;/span&gt; a movie, which is a hecka great deal, if you've got the scratch.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Of course, this will be the &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;5th time&lt;/span&gt; I've purchased all of the Bond movies. &lt;span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"&gt;DAMN YOU&lt;/span&gt;, Eon and MGM!!!!!!!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;No official release date yet, but expect it in September or October as the Skyfall publicity cranks up.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Here's the official promo video...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/hhyrJ1721qg?rel=0" allowfullscreen="" width="560" frameborder="0" height="315"&gt;&lt;/iframe&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1338209608815525267-8565756288884099281?l=expectyoutodie.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~4/fi_otf4qF-E" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/feeds/8565756288884099281/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2012/01/like-offering-heroin-to-addict.html#comment-form" title="0 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/8565756288884099281?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/8565756288884099281?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~3/fi_otf4qF-E/like-offering-heroin-to-addict.html" title="Like Offering Heroin To An Addict" /><author><name>snell</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/06181997862745538999</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sr0qbQ6lRSI/AAAAAAAAJag/FtpbC2HXemM/S220/monstrobot.jpg" /></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-H8zSGiOpcM4/Tw5Rw5duhVI/AAAAAAAAX58/fy_xfSOrXmU/s72-c/bond50boxskewbrd.jpg" height="72" width="72" /><thr:total>0</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2012/01/like-offering-heroin-to-addict.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;C04FQXs-cSp7ImA9WhRTE0o.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1338209608815525267.post-1330566417410673858</id><published>2011-11-03T21:57:00.000-04:00</published><updated>2011-11-03T21:58:30.559-04:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2011-11-03T21:58:30.559-04:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Bond 23" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Skyfall" /><title>371 Days</title><content type="html">&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jR_ImjYdrTY/TrNGoV-zzwI/AAAAAAAAVq8/AhSA8jyoa0o/s1600/logo1.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 135px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jR_ImjYdrTY/TrNGoV-zzwI/AAAAAAAAVq8/AhSA8jyoa0o/s400/logo1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5670954014698884866" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1338209608815525267-1330566417410673858?l=expectyoutodie.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~4/yfjtygVo2EA" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/feeds/1330566417410673858/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2011/11/371-days.html#comment-form" title="2 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/1330566417410673858?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/1330566417410673858?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~3/yfjtygVo2EA/371-days.html" title="371 Days" /><author><name>snell</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/06181997862745538999</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sr0qbQ6lRSI/AAAAAAAAJag/FtpbC2HXemM/S220/monstrobot.jpg" /></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jR_ImjYdrTY/TrNGoV-zzwI/AAAAAAAAVq8/AhSA8jyoa0o/s72-c/logo1.jpg" height="72" width="72" /><thr:total>2</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2011/11/371-days.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CUIARXk8fSp7ImA9WxBTEkk.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1338209608815525267.post-4678700284539787478</id><published>2009-12-07T22:36:00.002-05:00</published><updated>2009-12-07T22:39:04.775-05:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2009-12-07T22:39:04.775-05:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Parodies" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Robot Chicken" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Casino Royale (2006)" /><title>Christmas Royale</title><content type="html">Thank you again, Robot Chicken:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://i.adultswim.com/adultswim/video2/tools/swf/viralplayer.swf" width="425" height="350"&gt;&lt;param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"&gt;&lt;param name="movie" value="http://i.adultswim.com/adultswim/video2/tools/swf/viralplayer.swf"&gt;&lt;param name="FlashVars" value="id=8a250aae2568eeec01256abcc94700d0"&gt;&lt;embed src="http://i.adultswim.com/adultswim/video2/tools/swf/viralplayer.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" flashvars="id=8a250aae2568eeec01256abcc94700d0" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="350"&gt;&lt;/embed&gt;&lt;/object&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1338209608815525267-4678700284539787478?l=expectyoutodie.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~4/0ELPl43FCWc" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/feeds/4678700284539787478/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2009/12/christmas-royale.html#comment-form" title="2 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/4678700284539787478?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/4678700284539787478?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~3/0ELPl43FCWc/christmas-royale.html" title="Christmas Royale" /><author><name>snell</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/06181997862745538999</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sr0qbQ6lRSI/AAAAAAAAJag/FtpbC2HXemM/S220/monstrobot.jpg" /></author><thr:total>2</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2009/12/christmas-royale.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;DEcMQXc8eSp7ImA9WxJQEE4.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1338209608815525267.post-1799705233895479294</id><published>2009-05-22T19:43:00.002-04:00</published><updated>2009-05-22T19:48:00.971-04:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2009-05-22T19:48:00.971-04:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Pierce Brosnan" /><title>He Was Just Re-Enacting The Teaser From Goldeneye</title><content type="html">Some folks are just &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;born&lt;/span&gt; to be Bond (Story from &lt;a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://news.id.msn.com/entertainment/article.aspx?cp-documentid=3331047"&gt;MSN&lt;/a&gt;):&lt;br /&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;Pierce Brosnan saved Uma Thurman from a runaway minivan.    &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The Irish actor, who was on location filming new movie 'Percy Jackson', spotted the out-of-control vehicle speeding down a hill straight towards his blonde co-star. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;A source said: 'No one was aboard the runaway van as it barrelled towards a grassy area where Uma was relaxing with cast and crew. Pierce yelled, 'Get out of the way!' &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;'He raced after the van, wrenched open the driver's side door, jumped in and slammed on the brakes.'    &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Before the actor - who played iconic British spy James Bond in four movies - managed to stop the vehicle, it hit a curb and crashed into rubbish bins - sending cast and crew running in all directions to avoid the collision. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The source added: 'Everyone scattered out of harm's way. Pierce got kudos and hero 007 jokes from Uma. The transportation crew were in trouble for not setting the van's emergency brake.' &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;You know damn well the &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Monty Norman&lt;/span&gt; theme was playing in his head...&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1338209608815525267-1799705233895479294?l=expectyoutodie.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~4/zlQb6oQ-lo4" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/feeds/1799705233895479294/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2009/05/he-was-just-re-enacting-teaser-from.html#comment-form" title="1 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/1799705233895479294?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/1799705233895479294?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~3/zlQb6oQ-lo4/he-was-just-re-enacting-teaser-from.html" title="He Was Just Re-Enacting The Teaser From Goldeneye" /><author><name>snell</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/06181997862745538999</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sr0qbQ6lRSI/AAAAAAAAJag/FtpbC2HXemM/S220/monstrobot.jpg" /></author><thr:total>1</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2009/05/he-was-just-re-enacting-teaser-from.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CUIBQ3w5fyp7ImA9WxJRFEU.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1338209608815525267.post-6688099474553232255</id><published>2009-05-16T10:18:00.000-04:00</published><updated>2009-05-16T10:19:12.227-04:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2009-05-16T10:19:12.227-04:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Comic Strips" /><title>All Hail The Titan Omnibus</title><content type="html">It's a wonderful thing when &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;two&lt;/span&gt; of one's obsessions are joined together in one package. Namely, &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;James Bond&lt;/span&gt; and comics.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sg47KOtCv6I/AAAAAAAAHd4/whmlTQ1XhMs/s1600-h/bond4.png"&gt;&lt;img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 226px; height: 206px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sg47KOtCv6I/AAAAAAAAHd4/whmlTQ1XhMs/s400/bond4.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336267655412367266" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sg47CGMeWII/AAAAAAAAHdo/3LlT-XlN_aA/s1600-h/bond1.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 119px; height: 119px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sg47CGMeWII/AAAAAAAAHdo/3LlT-XlN_aA/s200/bond1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336267515689326722" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;More specifically, the &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Daily Express&lt;/span&gt; James Bond comic strips, which ran from 1958 through 1983 in England (with a hiccup here or there). They're adaptations of &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Ian Fleming's&lt;/span&gt; novels, rather than the films...in fact, most were published well before the film versions of those same stories. Eventually, they ran out of Fleming stories, and branched off into all original tales. You can read much more about their history and chronology &lt;a href="http://www.comicartville.com/bond.htm"&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; or &lt;a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Bond_%28comic_strip%29"&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sg4-URhj07I/AAAAAAAAHeA/FzzA63LCwGE/s1600-h/bond6.jpeg"&gt;&lt;img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 116px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sg4-URhj07I/AAAAAAAAHeA/FzzA63LCwGE/s400/bond6.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336271126503084978" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;These were strips about about James Bond &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;the spy&lt;/span&gt;, not James Bond the &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;cartoon super agent&lt;/span&gt;. Numerous writers and artists worked on the adaptations and originals, including &lt;span style="" try="" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sg47B2gWjlI/AAAAAAAAHdY/pMXgZAP9jW8/s1600-h/bond3.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 113px; height: 113px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sg47B2gWjlI/AAAAAAAAHdY/pMXgZAP9jW8/s200/bond3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336267511477734994" border="0" /&gt;&lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Peter O'Donnell&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt; prior to his &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Modesty Blaise&lt;/span&gt; work. They were a &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;grittier&lt;/span&gt;, more realistic Bond than we're used too, as well as a good example of an art form that has since died out, at least in America: the daily adventure comic strip.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The good news is, &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Titan Books&lt;/span&gt; has done an splendid job of releasing the strips in the U.S. The bad news is, it's &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;damnably expensive &lt;/span&gt;to collect them all.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sg47B--Tw3I/AAAAAAAAHdg/2ngqZO5IXmw/s1600-h/bond2.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 112px; height: 112px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sg47B--Tw3I/AAAAAAAAHdg/2ngqZO5IXmw/s200/bond2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336267513750864754" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;But the &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;ultra-good &lt;/span&gt;news is, starting in September, Titan will begin releasing them in &lt;a href="http://www.amazon.com/James-Bond-Omnibus-Graphic-Collection/dp/1848563647/ref=wl_it_dp?ie=UTF8&amp;amp;coliid=IF8T4C0X9DZQQ&amp;amp;colid=1KNRTA09C7MO2"&gt;&lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Omnibus&lt;/span&gt; editions&lt;/a&gt;. The first one consists of their first 3 collections: Casino Royale, Dr. No, and Goldfinger. To purchase those individually on Amazon would run you about $45. To get the omnibus? &lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;$10.17.&lt;/span&gt; Winnage.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So if you're interested in Bond, or in classic adventure comic strips, happy days are here again.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1338209608815525267-6688099474553232255?l=expectyoutodie.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~4/ew7gpybrcew" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/feeds/6688099474553232255/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2009/05/all-hail-titan-omnibus.html#comment-form" title="2 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/6688099474553232255?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/6688099474553232255?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~3/ew7gpybrcew/all-hail-titan-omnibus.html" title="All Hail The Titan Omnibus" /><author><name>snell</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/06181997862745538999</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sr0qbQ6lRSI/AAAAAAAAJag/FtpbC2HXemM/S220/monstrobot.jpg" /></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sg47KOtCv6I/AAAAAAAAHd4/whmlTQ1XhMs/s72-c/bond4.png" height="72" width="72" /><thr:total>2</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2009/05/all-hail-titan-omnibus.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;DEYHSH4yfyp7ImA9WxJREEw.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1338209608815525267.post-586493338706838053</id><published>2009-05-11T00:23:00.002-04:00</published><updated>2009-05-11T00:28:59.097-04:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2009-05-11T00:28:59.097-04:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Star Trek" /><title>Special Guest Post--Star Trek XI: No Subtitle</title><content type="html">Bond friends...excuse the cross post, but this is a review of the new Star Trek movie that I just put up on my &lt;a href="http://slaymonstrobot.blogspot.com/"&gt;comic book blog&lt;/a&gt;...I realized that it had the same annoying long, frustratingly tendentious tone of my Bond reviews, so I thought you might like to see it. If not, no biggie. Contains major spoilers...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**********************************************************************************&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Well, the results are in, and approximately &lt;a href="http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/star_trek_11/?name_order=asc"&gt;one billion percent&lt;/a&gt; of critics and viewers gave a huge thumbs up to the new (numberless and subtitle-less) &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Star Trek&lt;/span&gt; film. Which leaves me in the distinct minority.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;OK, let me be clear...I'm &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;not&lt;/span&gt; giving it a thumbs down. But it's a movie I'm fairly divided about. As a mindless summer rock 'em sock 'em CGI adventure film, it's a fun enough ride. But as a Star Trek film...&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;not so much&lt;/span&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I'll discuss why, but man, I'm going to spoil the &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;frak&lt;/span&gt; out of this film. And if you haven't seen it yet, there are indeed some surprises you don't want to have spoiled--trust me. So if you haven't seen it yet...don't read this. After the plethora of Trek photo below, there be &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;SPOILERS&lt;/span&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/SgbZNLxjb-I/AAAAAAAAHZY/pUswtRFvoKQ/s1600-h/gorn.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 299px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/SgbZNLxjb-I/AAAAAAAAHZY/pUswtRFvoKQ/s400/gorn.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334189629189091298" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Who knew Arena took place on Vulcan?? &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;SPOILERS COMING!!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/SgbZM_n0v9I/AAAAAAAAHZQ/CMnbPdd9iSw/s1600-h/gorn2.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 323px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/SgbZM_n0v9I/AAAAAAAAHZQ/CMnbPdd9iSw/s400/gorn2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334189625927057362" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;SPOILERS?&lt;/span&gt; I relish them?!?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/SgbZMkZZhcI/AAAAAAAAHZI/5UIFEkNBXJE/s1600-h/gorn3.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/SgbZMkZZhcI/AAAAAAAAHZI/5UIFEkNBXJE/s400/gorn3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334189618618795458" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;What do you mean my shirt &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;never&lt;/span&gt; ripped the entire movie?!?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/SgbZMqhaTzI/AAAAAAAAHZA/4k4YjUbSbkw/s1600-h/gorn4.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 280px; height: 275px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/SgbZMqhaTzI/AAAAAAAAHZA/4k4YjUbSbkw/s400/gorn4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334189620263014194" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Scotty--not drunk yet, just &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;annoying comedy relief&lt;/span&gt;!!!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/SgbZMe_VEAI/AAAAAAAAHY4/T2sfVQ6nYao/s1600-h/gorn+5.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/SgbZMe_VEAI/AAAAAAAAHY4/T2sfVQ6nYao/s400/gorn+5.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334189617167273986" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Last chance!!&lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt; SPOILERS&lt;/span&gt; commencing in 3&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;2&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;1&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;SPOILERS&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The review that comes closest to catching my viewpoint comes from &lt;a href="http://www.tnr.com/booksarts/story.html?id=9114c278-fe40-4875-a0da-bec46b1c4561"&gt;&lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Christopher Orr&lt;/span&gt; in &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;The New Republic&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/a&gt;. He seems to share my ambivalence, thinking "yeah, it was fun, but..." Allow to me quote form his concluding paragraph:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:100%;"  &gt;&lt;blockquote&gt;Yet, for all the amusement &lt;em&gt;Star Trek &lt;/em&gt;provides, it's hard to shake the sense that something has been lost in translation. Abrams's film is in some ways a throwback not to the original series, but further still to the pulpy exploits of Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers, in which sneering villains were forever threatening to blow up the heroes' home planets. Gene Roddenberry's original "Trek" aimed higher than such space opera, toward the moral, political, and technological sophistication of Asimov, Heinlein, and Clarke. It didn't always succeed--and, when it did, it wasn't always terribly exciting--but it was something new, and important, in the pop-cultural universe. For his rookie outing at least, Abrams has focused on simpler cinematic diversions. There's no question that his &lt;em&gt;Star Trek&lt;/em&gt; radically revitalizes the franchise; but it does so in part by setting aside what distinguished the show in the first place. &lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Amen. This film isn't "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;about&lt;/span&gt;" anything, except putting the band back together, or together for the first time, or whatever...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;That's&lt;/span&gt; why it has no subtitle--it's not really about anything. It's as if &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;J.J. Abrams&lt;/span&gt;, &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Roberto Orci&lt;/span&gt; and &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Alex Kurtzman &lt;/span&gt;had never actually &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;seen&lt;/span&gt; any Star Trek...they knew the character archetypes from the cultural genetic memory, but couldn't be bothered to actually realize that Star Trek is generally something more than whiz bang battle scenes. The only theme of this movie is "yay, we're rebooting the franchise!" Shallow indeed.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And considering that the &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;only&lt;/span&gt; goal we have is to reboot the franchise, to make it more "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;accessible&lt;/span&gt;" to everybody in the 21st century and get the kids and blah blah blah...considering how much &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Paramount&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;et al &lt;/span&gt;have riding on this and how unambitious the storytelling goal is, we get one of the &lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;most godawful scripts ever &lt;/span&gt;to grace Trek. Maybe not &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Spock's Brain&lt;/span&gt; bad...but at least &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Omega Glory&lt;/span&gt; bad.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;[Let me emphasize, I'm &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;not &lt;/span&gt;kvetching about the reboot itself. &lt;a href="http://slaymonstrobot.blogspot.com/2009/04/muppet-babies.html"&gt;I've said my piece about that&lt;/a&gt;, and I mourn the fact that Star Trek is no longer a forward-looking franchise. But I've come to grips with the fact. No, my complaints are all focused on how clumsily and stupid the &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;actual execution&lt;/span&gt; of said reboot was. ]&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Let's begin with the fact that, in the most crucial Trek film in, say, ever, the writers couldn't be bothered to come up with &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;an actual villain&lt;/span&gt;. I've seen this film twice now, and I swear that &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Nero&lt;/span&gt; has no more than 2 minutes of screen time. Seriously. I'll bring a stop watch next time. He's &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;barely in the movie&lt;/span&gt;. He's a non-entity, a &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;MacGuffin&lt;/span&gt; who's not fleshed out &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;in the least&lt;/span&gt;. Add that to the fact that the bizarre decision to make him look &lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;EXACTLY&lt;/span&gt; like all his Romulan cohorts, and that the script doesn't give him even one quasi-memorable line, and Nero is &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;easily&lt;/span&gt; the most ineffectual, forgettable villain in Star Trek history. And that includes &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Insurrection&lt;/span&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And the more I see &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Eric Bana&lt;/span&gt;, the more I'm convinced that maybe acting &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;shouldn't&lt;/span&gt; be his day job. I'm just saying.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;OK, so the villain is lame...what about his plan? Assuming that an audience member hasn't read the movie prequel comic from &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;IDW&lt;/span&gt;, all they get a brief &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;whip-cut-try-to-follow-along-flashback/exposition-via-mindmeld sequence &lt;/span&gt;that does a hideous job of actually explaining anything. In theory, they've been building up suspense for 2/3 of the movie, waiting for an explanation of who Nero is and what his plan is. And what we're given is completely ridiculous and nonsensical. &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Why&lt;/span&gt; does Nero blame &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Spock&lt;/span&gt;? &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Where&lt;/span&gt; do Nero and the huge Ship O' Death hang out for 25 years? Why is a mining ship essentially tougher than the &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Death Star&lt;/span&gt;? Does Nero have any motivation besides "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Grrr, I'm nuts&lt;/span&gt;?"&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And instead of answering any of the questions, we're given the film equivalent of the &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Federal Express&lt;/span&gt; guy reading the &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Oscar&lt;/span&gt; rules. We're firmly into &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Snell's First Law of Movies&lt;/span&gt;: If the creators themselves can't be bothered to actually care about the plot of their movie, why should &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;we&lt;/span&gt;?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;You know what else really amazes me? How many of the reviews about this film claim that it eschews "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;technobabble&lt;/span&gt;." What a crock. &lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;Red Matter&lt;/span&gt;? &lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;Trans-warp teleportation formulas&lt;/span&gt;?  A single supernova that (&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;somehow&lt;/span&gt;) threatens to destroy the entire galaxy? A drill whose operation &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;somehow&lt;/span&gt; interrupts communications and transporters (but &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;not &lt;/span&gt;Nero's communications!?!) That's the very &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;definition&lt;/span&gt; of technobabble--pseudoscience that's necessary to set up the plot, which can only be resolved with more pseudoscience. And this movie is technobabbliscious, in spades. The plot and resolution &lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;DO NOT EXIST &lt;/span&gt;without technobabble.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;why&lt;/span&gt; does everybody say the movie doesn't rely on technobabble? That's &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Snell's Second Law of Movies&lt;/span&gt;: people only complain about "technobabble" when they &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;already&lt;/span&gt; dislike the movie. If they like the movie, they just let the pseudoscience slide by, not even noticing it. So technobabble is never really the problem, its just an excuse for bitching by those who can't think how to express their artistic likes and dislikes.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;OK, we have a &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;nonexistent villain&lt;/span&gt;, &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;terrible plot&lt;/span&gt;, and &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;technobabble out the ass&lt;/span&gt;. So what do Abrams and Orci and Kurtzman give us? Simple: they latch on to &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Wrath Of Khan &lt;/span&gt;like a remora, recycling bits of that movie with the glee of &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Manfred Mann&lt;/span&gt; pillaging &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Bruce Springsteen&lt;/span&gt;'s back catalog. Let's see what we've got. &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;A) &lt;/span&gt;Of course, we've got to revisit &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Kirk&lt;/span&gt;'s cheating the &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Kobayashi Maru&lt;/span&gt;; &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;B)&lt;/span&gt; We've got an emergency and the fleet is elsewhere (and they don't even bother to give you a reason why.."&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;just because I said so&lt;/span&gt;") so we have to send out a ship full of cadets; &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;C) &lt;/span&gt;Our villain puts a Ceti Alpha eel--&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;oops, a Centauri eel&lt;/span&gt;--into a &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Star Fleet &lt;/span&gt;officer's body to control his brain to get information; &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;D)&lt;/span&gt; Let's trot out the "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;I have always been, and shall always be, your friend&lt;/span&gt;" line again, because apparently Spock has a very limited supply of sentences with which he can express friendship;&lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt; E)&lt;/span&gt; the scene of the&lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt; Enterprise&lt;/span&gt; rising out of the mist is pretty much a straight re-do of the same shot of the Enterprise rising out of the nebula mists behind the &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Reliant&lt;/span&gt;; &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;F)&lt;/span&gt; Let's reprise the "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;You lied. I exaggerated&lt;/span&gt;" bit one more time...I could go on. Our creators have Khan-envy pretty bad; too bad they have none of the writing talent of &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Nicholas Meyer&lt;/span&gt; &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;et al.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Well, how about the characters? For all the talk of a reboot, all the talk of a fresh start, we get...well, &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;exactly the same characters we've always had&lt;/span&gt;. Or rather, the vague outlines. Sure, they give Kirk daddy issues...but the end result is still the same cocky womanizer we've always had. Hey, &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Sulu&lt;/span&gt; knows fencing...oh, wait, &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;we already knew that&lt;/span&gt;. Hey, Spock had a conflicted childhood...or, wait, &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;we already knew that&lt;/span&gt;, and in fact even the animated series did a better job of expressing that. Hey, &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Uhura&lt;/span&gt; is ultra competent at communications...but &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;we already knew that&lt;/span&gt;, and in &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;TOS &lt;/span&gt;Spock told her "no one was better equipped." &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;McCoy&lt;/span&gt;? We learn nothing new about him (note to&lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt; Karl Urban&lt;/span&gt;: &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;slavishly imitating &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;DeForest Kelley's&lt;/span&gt; cadences and intonations does &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;not &lt;/span&gt;actually equal "acting.") &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Chekov&lt;/span&gt;? Well, they made him &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;magically good&lt;/span&gt; at transporters (why is he better than the people who are assigned to transporters? Never explained...except to give Chekov something to do). &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Scotty&lt;/span&gt;? Well, a love for food replaces the love for booze, but otherwise there's no note here that wasn't hit before. Seriously, aside from Kirk's backstory and Spock and Uhura making the beast with two backs, there's not &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;one &lt;/span&gt;original character note here, not one thing that's any different than we've already been told multiple times in TOS or the earlier movies. Repeating tidbits from TOS might make for nice fan service, but it's not characterization.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Consider this: would anybody have been enthused about the reboot of &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Battlestar: Galactica&lt;/span&gt; if they had just made &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Starbuck &lt;/span&gt;and &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Apollo &lt;/span&gt;and &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Adama &lt;/span&gt;exactly the same as before, just with younger actors?? Well, that's what they give you here...a reboot without the courage to &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;actually reboot&lt;/span&gt;, the same characters on prettier sets.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;OK, so we get the &lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;EXACT SAME CHARACTERS&lt;/span&gt; (just &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;younger &amp;amp; sexier&lt;/span&gt;), a nonexistent villain, a laughable "plot," and technobabble out the yim yam. I'm still not quite seeing how "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;this is not your father's Trek&lt;/span&gt;."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;How about the&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt; insipidity&lt;/span&gt; of the movie trying to have it both ways? They want to show our crew as young cadets, but we somehow have to have them in their expected positions by the end of the movie. So we have Kirk graduating from the &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Academy&lt;/span&gt; and skipping straight from cadet to captain. Because that's &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;exactly&lt;/span&gt; who I would want captaining my ship. &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Really&lt;/span&gt;...old Kirk made captain faster than anyone in history in TOS, but that was &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;still too slow&lt;/span&gt; for this film. A cadet is intercepting and decrypting top secret Klingon broadcasts--and &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;no one &lt;/span&gt;in the senior staff knows a thing about it? Scotty comes in out of "exile" and is&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt; immediately&lt;/span&gt; made chief engineer, regardless of rank or experience with the type of ship (of course, for that to work, they had to have the old engineer pull the stupid &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;kamikaze &lt;/span&gt;stunt on the space drive...)? (And by the way...why &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;exactly&lt;/span&gt; did Kirk take Scotty along with him to the Enterprise??) Chekov is better at transporters than transporter technicians?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Nope...no &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;apprenticeship&lt;/span&gt; periods, no learning the ropes, no serving aboard other ships learning protocol and how to be officers--our crew is magically, instantly better at their jobs than everybody else, even though they're all about 22 years old, and are immediately promoted above&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt; thousands of others&lt;/span&gt;, no matter their qualifications or experience (at least we now know how&lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt; Janeway&lt;/span&gt; made admiral...). Because our creators want them young &amp;amp; sexy, but they also wanted the &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;instant gratification&lt;/span&gt; of getting them all back together and on the bridge as soon as humanly possible. And if you want to believe that they all came together on the flagship because they're all the best at their jobs, you're required to accept that Star Fleet had previously had the ship staffed with &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;incompetent morons&lt;/span&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So on just about every level, a &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;stupid&lt;/span&gt;, &lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;stupid&lt;/span&gt;, &lt;span style="font-size:130%;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"&gt;STUPID &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;script. Let me ask you: if this film &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;didn't&lt;/span&gt; have Star Trek as the title, and had the exact same plot and characters except not named Kirk and Spock--would anybody be &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;gushing&lt;/span&gt; over it? Somehow, I suspect that if the movie were called &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Space Journey &lt;/span&gt;and featured &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Smith &lt;/span&gt;and &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Quimby&lt;/span&gt;, the reviews would be much more negative, complaining about how air-headed and and insipid it was, giving us whiz-bang CGI and explosions while giving us little character and plot. That's my theory, anyway. It's a mindless summer flick, using Star Trek's &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;name and cachet&lt;/span&gt; to coast in place of developing plot or character.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;All of which, let me emphasize, just spotlights how &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;good &lt;/span&gt;Abrams' direction is. He keeps us hurtling along, keeps us on the edge of our seats, and makes us miss a lot of the flaws. The movie &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;never&lt;/span&gt; feels like two hours (well, almost never), the action is well directed (well, &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;mostly&lt;/span&gt;), and keeps us stuffing our mouths with popcorn.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I know I've sounded relentlessly negative...but considering I'm outnumbered 96-1 in my opinion, I felt justified in emphasizing &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;why&lt;/span&gt; I felt the way I do. It's certainly not a &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;bad&lt;/span&gt; movie. It's as entertaining as heck, and doesn't bother to make you think at all. But it's still just a &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;mindless summer movie&lt;/span&gt;. On that level, &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Star Trek XI: No Subtitle&lt;/span&gt; succeeds admirably. But as a Star Trek movie? I expect &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;more&lt;/span&gt; from that than I would from a &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Michael Bay&lt;/span&gt; flick. When you look at this film, not just as any movie but as a Star Trek movie? It's the &lt;a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2008/09/never-say-never-again.html"&gt;Never Say Never Again&lt;/a&gt; of Trek movies.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:180%;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;SNELL'S RANDOM NOTES AND OBSERVATIONS&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**All along, I was saying, man, the one thing Star Trek movies never had was product placement! Please, more &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Budweiser&lt;/span&gt; references!!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Someone needs to be &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;strung&lt;/span&gt; up, is all I'm sayin'.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**Not to mention, &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;all&lt;/span&gt; Star Trek soundtracks have been missing a &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Beastie Boys&lt;/span&gt; song!! Yeah, because so many kids today are listening to &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Mozart &lt;/span&gt;on their&lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt; iPods&lt;/span&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And how come no one in Star Trek &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;ever&lt;/span&gt; listens to contemporary (ie, future) music??&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**Didn't you just &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;know&lt;/span&gt; that nothing they could show us could live up to what our imaginations and &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;ST II&lt;/span&gt; told us about Kirk's Koybayashi Maru? Sure enough, this was &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;pedestrian and lame&lt;/span&gt;, with no tension or surprise. And don't you think Kirk would have reprogrammed the simulator to, oh, I don't know, make him look &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;good&lt;/span&gt;, like a good captain and competent officer? Instead it tossed up a scenario &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Captain Dunsel &lt;/span&gt;could have solved, while he just preens like a jackass...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Besides, how can you do a Kirk at the Academy story &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;without &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Finnegan&lt;/span&gt;?? Oh, that's right, he was never mentioned in Wrath of Khan...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**Nero's ship is another creaky plot device, &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;conveniently &lt;/span&gt;powerful and powerless, depending on the plot needs of the moment. It's tough enough to completely destroy a Federation fleet over &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Vulcan&lt;/span&gt; in less than 5 minutes...but &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;somehow&lt;/span&gt; can't destroy the &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Kelvin &lt;/span&gt;alone in 10 minutes, or keep it  from ramming them at full speed? When old Spock's ship shows up, they capture it &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;effortlessly&lt;/span&gt;, apparently without a shot being fired...yet that ship and the Enterprise can smash it up when 7 Star Fleet vessels are reduced to debris?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**&lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;Love&lt;/span&gt; the design on the new Enterprise, great bridge, but...&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;ye gods&lt;/span&gt;, what's up with that engine room? It looks like it was filmed in the &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;basement boiler room&lt;/span&gt; of a 1960's industrial site. Seriously, it looks absolutely &lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;NOTHING&lt;/span&gt; like the rest of the ship, all stairs and railings and boilers...it's not even from the same movie! Did they run out of money? Imagination?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**Speaking of design, I'm glad that the Romulan ship follows the &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;George Lucas&lt;/span&gt; theory of ship design, with lots of catwalks leading nowhere and no railings over vast yawning spaces with no purpose...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**A number of people have complained how &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;stupid&lt;/span&gt; it was to physically exile Kirk from the ship onto a hostile planet, when they could have just stuffed him in the brig. Please, people, please: the writers couldn't think up any other way to get Kirk and Old Spock together, so they &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;had&lt;/span&gt; to resort to nonsense...that's how screenwriting works!!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And exactly how close was &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Delta Vega &lt;/span&gt;to Vulcan, that Vulcan appears that huge in the skyline, yet Delta Vega is &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;untouched &lt;/span&gt;by the effects of the resulting black hole?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And if there was a &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Federation &lt;/span&gt;outpost on Delta Vega, couldn't they just have used &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;their &lt;/span&gt;communications system to call Star Fleet and warn Earth?!? (And before you blame the black hole, the transporter was still functional...)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I tell you--&lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;SCREENWRITING!!!!!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**Kirk sure gets choked &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;a lot&lt;/span&gt; in this film. Didn't the fight choreographer have any other moves in his portfolio? I'm just sayin'.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**Yes, blowing up Vulcan really, &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;really&lt;/span&gt; proves that you're not our fathers' Star Trek. Gee, who'd want to tell stories about a rich alien culture? If they had &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;any&lt;/span&gt; balls, they would have blown up Earth...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But remember how every review tells us Star Trek is &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;positive&lt;/span&gt; and &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;optimistic&lt;/span&gt; and hopeful...despite 2 galactic civilizations being &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;irretrievably lost&lt;/span&gt;. Gee, I'm glad we're not in a bleak future or anything...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**Just&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt; how&lt;/span&gt; incompetent is...&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;uh&lt;/span&gt;, was...Vulcan, anyway? They send out a distress call about seismic activity, but they somehow couldn't see that there's &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;a freaking huge unidentified ship in orbit drilling into their planetary core&lt;/span&gt;? And they're &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;so&lt;/span&gt; clueless they have to have the Enterprise call them and tell them to evacuate the planet--they can't tell themselves their planet's imploding? Think of it as evolution in action, I guess...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**Speaking of Vulcan, its good to see that Vulcan's &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;high gravity&lt;/span&gt; doesn't prevent Sulu from doing &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;somersaults&lt;/span&gt; over people's head, and that the thin air &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;in no way&lt;/span&gt; impedes the intense fight with a couple of Romulans. I guess in this "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;alternate universe&lt;/span&gt;," Vulcan somehow has Earth normal air and gravity...ah, well, it's not like &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Amok Time &lt;/span&gt;can happen now...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**I'm not sure about this "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;emotionally compromised&lt;/span&gt;" regulation (which, since Old Spock quoted it, must exist in the old universe, too). That would have removed Kirk and Spock from how many missions?!? Oh, that's right, without that regulation there would be no conceivable justification for letting &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;violent, lying mutineer&lt;/span&gt; Kirk take command..&lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;.SCREENWRITING!!!!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**You know, instead of giving us a &lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;LOOOOONG&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt; &lt;/span&gt;car chase and an infinitely &lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;LOOOOOOONG&lt;/span&gt; CGI-monsters-on-crappy-fake-snow-planet scene, maybe we could have invested some time in plot or character development. I'm just sayin.'&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**This is merely a matter of taste, but I really don't go in for such &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;physical buffoonery&lt;/span&gt; humor in my Star Trek. Swollen hands? &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Really&lt;/span&gt;? A &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Willie Wonka&lt;/span&gt; tube ride for Scotty? Not my cup of tea.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;By the way, the tube Scotty beams into is labeled "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;inert reactant&lt;/span&gt;." Water is &lt;span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"&gt;not&lt;/span&gt; an inert reactant. Good things they made this movie &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;without&lt;/span&gt; technobabble...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**Seriously, where &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;was&lt;/span&gt; Nero for 25 years?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**Hello, Old Spock has traveled this road before, hasn't he? He and Kirk have gone farther back in time, or re-gone back, any &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;number &lt;/span&gt;of times, to reset history to its proper course. By &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;ST IV &lt;/span&gt;he can whip off calculations for time warp in his sleep. And yet, in the face of this crisis, he doesn't &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;once&lt;/span&gt; consider the possibility of fixing this mess with another time trip? He'll let Vulcan die when he was willing to jiggle the past to save Earth any number of times?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**Can someone please find Orci and Kurztman a new gig before the next Trek movie? &lt;span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"&gt;Thank you.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1338209608815525267-586493338706838053?l=expectyoutodie.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~4/O8H5tQl5PS4" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/feeds/586493338706838053/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2009/05/special-guest-post-star-trek-xi-no.html#comment-form" title="22 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/586493338706838053?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/586493338706838053?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~3/O8H5tQl5PS4/special-guest-post-star-trek-xi-no.html" title="Special Guest Post--Star Trek XI: No Subtitle" /><author><name>snell</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/06181997862745538999</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sr0qbQ6lRSI/AAAAAAAAJag/FtpbC2HXemM/S220/monstrobot.jpg" /></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/SgbZNLxjb-I/AAAAAAAAHZY/pUswtRFvoKQ/s72-c/gorn.jpg" height="72" width="72" /><thr:total>22</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2009/05/special-guest-post-star-trek-xi-no.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;DUcARng_eCp7ImA9WxVaEkk.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1338209608815525267.post-7707740835661044566</id><published>2009-04-08T11:19:00.007-04:00</published><updated>2009-04-08T23:17:27.640-04:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2009-04-08T23:17:27.640-04:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Quantum of Solace" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Blu-Ray" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Daniel Craig" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Quantum" /><title>Quantum Of Solace--Revisited</title><content type="html">&lt;a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sd1gA8OlyxI/AAAAAAAAG4k/pRKIXlfogtw/s1600-h/scan0035.jpg"&gt;&lt;img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 152px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sd1gA8OlyxI/AAAAAAAAG4k/pRKIXlfogtw/s200/scan0035.jpg" alt="#22 revisited" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322515903905385234" border="0" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Well, it's out. Do I have anything new to say?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;First, I should note that it is my first &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Blu-ray&lt;/span&gt; Bond (well, technically a tie, since I purchased it simultaneously with &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Never Say Never Again&lt;/span&gt;). One consequence I hadn't foreseen--my computer doesn't have a Blu-ray Disc player, so I can't do any screencaps. Perhaps by the time &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;The Hildebrandt Rarity&lt;/span&gt; comes around, I'll have upgraded my computer.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Secondly, I &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;don't&lt;/span&gt; plan to upgrade the rest of my Bond collection to Blu-ray anytime soon. Yes, the picture and sound &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;are&lt;/span&gt; fantastic...but unlike the leap from VHS to DVD, the Blu-rays are only &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;incrementally&lt;/span&gt; better than the Ultimate Edition DVDs. Particularly with my current AV set-up, which isn't upscale enough to make the fullest use of those incremental upgrades. Plus, the Blu-rays &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;don't&lt;/span&gt; feature any additional special features over the UE DVDs. Having already purchased most of the Bond films &lt;span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"&gt;4 times&lt;/span&gt; already (VHS, widescreen VHS, DVD, Ultimate Edition DVD...&lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;damn you, Eon!!&lt;/span&gt;), I really can't justify blowing the dollars again for essentially nothing extra. So, until I get a better AV setup and win the lottery, no more Blu-ray for &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;snell&lt;/span&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Finally, I know I'm stupid for not waiting for the next release of a "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;super ultimate edition&lt;/span&gt;" of &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;QoS&lt;/span&gt;. But man, this is a &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;disappointingly spare&lt;/span&gt; release. &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;No&lt;/span&gt; commentary track? Really? No BD-Live support of any kind? Not even a link to a bloody webpage?!? Only 1 teaser and one theatrical trailer?? The "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;production diaries&lt;/span&gt;" are nice, but they were all already available on the internet (&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;for free!&lt;/span&gt;), and most are 2 minutes or less in length. Of the 5 "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;featurettes&lt;/span&gt;," 4 are &lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;under 3 minutes&lt;/span&gt;, they cannibalize each other, and are &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;shockingly light&lt;/span&gt; on actual information. For example, despite 2 "on location" featurettes, there's not a &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;single&lt;/span&gt; mention of the Chilean mayor who staged a protest to try and stop production. Plus--both "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;On Location&lt;/span&gt;"&lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt; AND&lt;/span&gt; ""&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Bond On Location&lt;/span&gt;" (along with "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Start of Shooting&lt;/span&gt;") as the titles?? That's pretty typical of the lack of imagination and effort here.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But how has the movie itself aged in the past 5 months? I'll pretty much stand by most everything I wrote back in my &lt;a href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2008/11/quantum-of-solace-spoilers.html"&gt;original review&lt;/a&gt;. That is: good, but far from great. There are flashes of brilliance, and some real excitement.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But like the poster and cover shot on the disc, it's &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;too&lt;/span&gt; spare, &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;too &lt;/span&gt;bleak, &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;too &lt;/span&gt;dry. The movie is so intent on hammering home its themes that it makes &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;no time&lt;/span&gt; for dialogue, for relationships, for the Bond &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;panache&lt;/span&gt;. Has there ever been a Bond film that has been so little fun to watch?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;QoS can't even take time for the proper dialogue. Has there &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;ever&lt;/span&gt; been a Bond film so bereft of memorable lines? Has there ever been a Bond film where characters' line just don't sync up with each other or what's going on? Example: in Haiti,&lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt; Elvis &lt;/span&gt;berates the guy guarding the gate, "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Pay attention next time!!!&lt;/span&gt;" This makes absolutely no sense in the context of the scene. When 007 goes to fetch &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Mathis&lt;/span&gt;, he says "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;you're the only one I can trust&lt;/span&gt;," and Mathis suddenly launches into a soliloquy about the old and the young and right and wrong, which doesn't seem apropos at all to what Bond said. At MI-6, the &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Forensics Tech&lt;/span&gt; starts to tell &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;M&lt;/span&gt;, "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;we've done a forensics analysis of every note and its traceable history&lt;/span&gt;," but is interrupted by &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Tanner&lt;/span&gt;, who says "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Not in the mood&lt;/span&gt;." Everyone steps into the lab, on the forensics tech...proceeds to give a forensics analysis of every bill in Mitchell's wallet. &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Huh? &lt;/span&gt;Did we miss something?? Was a lot of stuff edited out so conversations don't make sense? Or was the script just never properly finished? Either way, you get a sense of a movie that &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;doesn't care&lt;/span&gt; about details, and instead is interested in hurtling from Point A to Point B as fast as possible, sense be damned.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Obviously, this applies to the editing of the action scenes, too. I harped enough about this last time. But let me just note that, with freeze frame and slo-mo and rewind at my command, you &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;still&lt;/span&gt; often can't tell exactly what the hell is happening. During the rooftop chase with &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Mitchell&lt;/span&gt;, you still can't tell &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;where&lt;/span&gt; the characters are in relation to each other--and I still swear that they get their directions reversed a few times. In the fight with &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Slate&lt;/span&gt; in the Haiti hotel room, you can't tell how Slate gets his throat severed--by the fall through the glass? Bond? Accidentally stabbing himself? And of course, in the boat chase, there still &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;no sense at all&lt;/span&gt; in how the last boat gets toppled, or what the hell that grappling hook had to do with anything. The garage at the desert hotel just suddenly starts exploding when an SUV backs into a wall...&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;why&lt;/span&gt;? If there was a hydrogen cell there, we never saw it (hint, &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Marc Forster&lt;/span&gt;...it's called an "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;establishing shot&lt;/span&gt;"). Either Forster and the editors didn't know how to show us, or didn't care. It was "We've got our action sequence, let's move on!"&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sadly, we also have no relationship between Bond and &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Dominic Greene&lt;/span&gt;, our villain. This is not to pick on &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Mathieu Almaric&lt;/span&gt;...the script just keeps him and Bond apart the whole movie. Don't forget, most of what Greene does the first half of the movie is out of Bond's sight and hearing, and James hasn't heard &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Camille&lt;/span&gt;'s sad story yet. So there's &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;no&lt;/span&gt; real sense of conflict. They don't even meet until an hour into the movie, and then they don't really share any dialogue...Bond only says "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;I'm sorry, Mr. Greene, but we have to go&lt;/span&gt;" and "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;I'm sure they do.&lt;/span&gt;" That's &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;literally&lt;/span&gt; it until Bond drops Greene in the desert at the end. It's a wasted opportunity, because I think Almaric &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;could&lt;/span&gt; have been quite a good Bond villain. But you just can't keep Bond and his villain separated the entire movie and expect their interaction to be compelling.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Commenter &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Tags&lt;/span&gt; took me to task earlier for not paying sufficient attention to &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Strawberry Fields&lt;/span&gt;. Sorry, Tags, but I still feel there's no "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;there&lt;/span&gt;" there. Again, no fault to &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Gemma Atherton&lt;/span&gt;. But the entirety of her role is show up at the airport, back down to Bond; go to a particular hotel, back down to Bond; act cool, but back down and go to bed with Bond; unnecessarily trip Elvis down the stairs, and die offscreen. The entire role felt pasted on a "&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;hey, we've gotta have someone Bond can sleep with and crack jokes to, let's write a role quickly&lt;/span&gt;" feel to it. Had the character not even been in the movie, it wouldn't have made a bit of difference to how the story played out.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Then again, you can say that about &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;most&lt;/span&gt; of the rest of the movie's plot devices: "We've got to do something besides having Bond brooding for an hour and a half!" Mitchell goes rogue, it's treated as if that was unbelievable--and &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;never mentioned again&lt;/span&gt;. Oh, the poor Bolivians and their water shortage--except Bond would have gone after Greene just as hard if he'd &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;never&lt;/span&gt; set foot in Bolivia, and did nothing to stop the villain's plot. Ditto for Camille--she'd have gone after &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Medrano&lt;/span&gt; just as fiercely even if there hadn't been a coup plot and an unnecessary attempted rape scene. &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Beam&lt;/span&gt; gets his comeuppance, and &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Leiter&lt;/span&gt; is promoted, but it's offscreen--just take our word for it. Everything in this movie is just a &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;prop&lt;/span&gt;--the villain's plot, the &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;MacGuffins&lt;/span&gt;, the water shortage, the coup,&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt; everything&lt;/span&gt;. They're just there as window dressing , something to pass the time until Bond can confront &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Yusef&lt;/span&gt;. And if Bond and the writers and director don't really care about them, why should we? That's why there's &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;so&lt;/span&gt; little sense of danger and urgency to the proceedings, because the filmmakers never invested themselves in what was happening, and let that lack of commitment come through in the final product.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Which is a shame, because there's a&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt; lot&lt;/span&gt; to admire in this movie. The location work is &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;great&lt;/span&gt; (even though we're not always in the actual advertised location, at least we're not in a studio). The opera set piece is good (although the vaguely referred to action sequence is treated as a barely-tolerated add-on). The stunts, when you can follow them, are &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;exciting&lt;/span&gt;. The performances are all top-notch, especially given how little the script gives them.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But QoS plays more like an &lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;outline &lt;/span&gt;for a Bond movie, rather than a full-fledged 007 outing. The wit, the flair, the excitement are all lacking, or dialed down to a near undetectable level. Where are the moments in which you can look at the screen and say, "That's gotta be a Bond film?" Which is what keeps this a middle-of-the-pack Bond film.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:180%;"&gt;&lt;span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;"&gt;SNELL'S RANDOM NOTES AND OTHER OBSERVATIONS:&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**The jet and helicopter that chased Bond's DC-3...&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;whom &lt;/span&gt;did they belong to? Not the Bolivian government, surely. Did Medrano already control portions of the air force? Does &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Quantum&lt;/span&gt; have their own &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;private air force &lt;/span&gt;that operates with impunity in Bolivian airspace?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**I griped about this last time, but it's worth repeating: M, the head of MI-6, goes &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;personally&lt;/span&gt; into the field for interrogations in Italy, in Bolivia, in Russia?!? Going into the field was treated as something &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;radical &lt;/span&gt;in &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;TWINE&lt;/span&gt;...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**Fields excuses herself from Mathis and the police colonel to help Bond...she gets there as Bond and Camille are already descending the stairs. By the time Bond gets to the car, Mathis is already beaten up and stashed in the back, with the motorcycle cops ready to ambush him. How'd that happen &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;so quickly&lt;/span&gt;, unless 007 and Camille did a lot of lallygagging on their way out?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**It's right on the screen in M's office, as clear as day: Bond's birthday is&lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt; April 13, 1968&lt;/span&gt;. He was in the Royal Navy 86-96, "RNR Defense" 96-99 (sorry, you got me on that one), and MI-6 99-Present. His &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;SSID#&lt;/span&gt; is 94612751. So, let's party next Monday for Bond's 41st birthday, eh?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**While we're on freeze frame patrol, Greene's birthday is &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;July 12, 1964&lt;/span&gt;. And according to her Bolivian driver's licence, Camille's full name is &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Camille Montes Rivero&lt;/span&gt;, and her blood type is O positive. No birth date is shown, but her license expires on October 23rd, and that's usually on one's birthday, isn't it??&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;**Yeah, I know they're doing most of the work underground, but it's not like they're &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Mole People&lt;/span&gt; or something--there must have been ample evidence of &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Greene Planet&lt;/span&gt;'s drilling and dynamiting and damning. You'd have to have trucks and heavy equipment and probably helicopters and etc on the surface...yet both the Bolivian government and Medrano appear &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;completely unaware&lt;/span&gt; of Green's work out there (on land that he doesn't have the rights to yet!!)...&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1338209608815525267-7707740835661044566?l=expectyoutodie.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~4/py6kKo2Had0" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/feeds/7707740835661044566/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2009/04/quantum-of-solace-revisited.html#comment-form" title="8 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/7707740835661044566?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/7707740835661044566?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~3/py6kKo2Had0/quantum-of-solace-revisited.html" title="Quantum Of Solace--Revisited" /><author><name>snell</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/06181997862745538999</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sr0qbQ6lRSI/AAAAAAAAJag/FtpbC2HXemM/S220/monstrobot.jpg" /></author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sd1gA8OlyxI/AAAAAAAAG4k/pRKIXlfogtw/s72-c/scan0035.jpg" height="72" width="72" /><thr:total>8</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2009/04/quantum-of-solace-revisited.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;CE8ASHs9cSp7ImA9WxVbEU8.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1338209608815525267.post-7423665255438514903</id><published>2009-03-26T22:58:00.002-04:00</published><updated>2009-03-26T23:00:49.569-04:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2009-03-26T23:00:49.569-04:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Quantum of Solace" /><title>Small Favors</title><content type="html">&lt;a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.mi6.co.uk/news/index.php?itemid=7458&amp;amp;t=mi6&amp;amp;s=news"&gt;Thank heavens&lt;/a&gt;!!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Yeah, I've been gone awhile. Expect more regular posting in the near future, including a look at the Blu-Ray of Quantum of Solace.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1338209608815525267-7423665255438514903?l=expectyoutodie.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~4/dxNVJHRqw6g" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/feeds/7423665255438514903/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2009/03/small-favors.html#comment-form" title="2 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/7423665255438514903?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/7423665255438514903?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~3/dxNVJHRqw6g/small-favors.html" title="Small Favors" /><author><name>snell</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/06181997862745538999</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sr0qbQ6lRSI/AAAAAAAAJag/FtpbC2HXemM/S220/monstrobot.jpg" /></author><thr:total>2</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2009/03/small-favors.html</feedburner:origLink></entry><entry gd:etag="W/&quot;DUAGQH88fip7ImA9WxVRE08.&quot;"><id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1338209608815525267.post-1254653786531246455</id><published>2009-01-18T20:01:00.001-05:00</published><updated>2009-01-18T20:15:21.176-05:00</updated><app:edited xmlns:app="http://www.w3.org/2007/app">2009-01-18T20:15:21.176-05:00</app:edited><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Contests" /><category scheme="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#" term="Hildebrandt Rarity" /><title>Democracy in Action!!</title><content type="html">It's time for &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Phase 2&lt;/span&gt; of &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Contest #2&lt;/span&gt;. We've had any number of suggestions for titles for &lt;span style="font-weight: bold;"&gt;Bond 23&lt;/span&gt;, and it's time for &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;you&lt;/span&gt;, the dear readers, to vote, in the poll on the sidebar at right.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Vote, and we'll see what the teeming masses want as the next Bond title.&lt;div class="blogger-post-footer"&gt;&lt;img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/1338209608815525267-1254653786531246455?l=expectyoutodie.blogspot.com' alt='' /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~4/mf3lZ2zlijk" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content><link rel="replies" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/feeds/1254653786531246455/comments/default" title="Post Comments" /><link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2009/01/democracy-in-action.html#comment-form" title="2 Comments" /><link rel="edit" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/1254653786531246455?v=2" /><link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="http://www.blogger.com/feeds/1338209608815525267/posts/default/1254653786531246455?v=2" /><link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/IExpectYouToDie/~3/mf3lZ2zlijk/democracy-in-action.html" title="Democracy in Action!!" /><author><name>snell</name><uri>http://www.blogger.com/profile/06181997862745538999</uri><email>noreply@blogger.com</email><gd:image rel="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail" width="28" height="32" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kxF371gMSro/Sr0qbQ6lRSI/AAAAAAAAJag/FtpbC2HXemM/S220/monstrobot.jpg" /></author><thr:total>2</thr:total><feedburner:origLink>http://expectyoutodie.blogspot.com/2009/01/democracy-in-action.html</feedburner:origLink></entry></feed>

