I Hate Your Favorite Movie

Fond memories of terrifying killer robots

2011-06-15T09:31:00.003-05:00

Since its $242 million release, I've directed an outlandish amount of ire at James Cameron's space-cats extravaganza, Avatar. But I wasn't always, in the words of South Park, a cynical asshole that hated everything.

I'm sure that, on a subconscious level, part of my frustration is that in my younger years, I absolutely loved Cameron's work. I loved The Abyss, which is basically the same movie asAvatar, except there are characters instead of caricatures. I love the thrilling horror-adventure Aliens, even though it's a complete tonal departure from the superior original. But the most amazing Cameron film of them all, though, is without a doubt one of the greatest action movies ever made — Terminator 2.

In the summer of '91, T2 was everywhere. Posters for the movie were ubiquitous, and my Saturday morning cartoons were packed with ads for various Arnold-shaped toys: action figures, video games, playsets where you could mold "flesh" onto a hellish endoskeleton. The movie looked incredible. "Hasta la vista, baby" was on the tip of pop culture's tongue. I was certain I was the only person on the planet who didn't see it, and that by all accounts, it was the greatest thing to strike the silver screen since the creation of celluloid.

But for a long time, my parents were fairly strict about the amount of television and types of movies I was allowed to see. Even The Simpsons was verboten. So an ultra-violent epic about time-travelling robots that shoot and stab scores of innocent bystanders, all in the interest of either preventing or ensuring a horrifically-depicted nuclear apocalypse, would probably not get past my parental censors.

So I did what any kid would do. I saw it on VHS at my cousin's house.

Terminator 2 was a smash hit when it was released twenty years ago, and rightfully so. It works as a standalone film — I didn't see the original until the late 90s — and it blends exhilarating action sequences with a fascinating backstory (see: time traveling killer robots) that is flush with Cameron's wry sense of humor and his typical moral takeaways of the importance of humanity. As an adult, I'm still thrilled by the chases and shoot-outs, impressed by the restrained use of nearly-seamless CGI, and am amazed that I don't groan cynically when Sarah Connor tells us that if "a machine, a terminator, can learn the value of a human life, maybe we can, too."

The message works — and, in turn, elevates the entire movie, because it is not a tacked-on sentiment. The value of human life is a theme that plays from the very first frames, when a typical hot day in LA is transformed into the skeleton-littered battlefield of tomorrow.

Sarah Connor knows it's coming, what's at stake, and that any collateral damage before August 29th, 1997 wouldn't be a big deal after the entire world was turned to ash and twisted rebar. The source of her transformation to a restrained optimist by the film's end (aside from the obvious thrill of averting future catastrophe) is that a machine identical to the one sent to kill her in the first movie (except this one has eyebrows) is taught by a boy that killing is wrong. It's incredibly basic, but as John Connor teaches the machine grade-school lessons in humanity, Terminator 2 is elevated from an action horror flick to a sci-fi morality play.

On paper, the themes wouldn't impress a high school civics teacher. In the context of the storyworld, though, it's plausible. Even killer robots can learn empathy. It's something that a nine-year-old kid would find heart-achingly poignant.

When I was nine, it was heart-achingly poignant. I thought the film was an extraordinary feat — overwhelmingly exciting and thought-provoking without being (too) hokey. And I loved James Cameron for being able to do that in just over two hours with a directorial deftness that continues to impress me to this day.

Cameron never again captured my imagination the way he did with Terminator 2. In 1994, he taught us that Bill Paxton is a scumbag and Harrier jets exist; in 1997, he proved women love Leonardo DiCaprio. In late 2009, he showed us people will sit through anything so long as it's packaged well.

When I was a child, I was sad to see the terminator disappear in the vat, because it meant John Connor was losing the best chance he had for a stable father figure.

Now, when I see that thumb light on fire and slip below the surface, and the CPU shutting off for the last time, it reminds me of the last time I unconditionally loved the narrative work of James Cameron.

This piece was originally written as a part of the excellent 90's Nostalgia Series at The Junior Varsity, and was carefully edited by my dear friend Mike Placito.

Black Swan in a nutshell

2011-01-14T11:54:00.002-06:00

Black Swan is a drama about a dancer pushing herself to her limits to achieve perfection.

Black Swan is a tragedy about a mother trying to protect her daughter from falling off the deep end, even through she's partly responsible for her daughter's neurosis.

Black Swan is a coming-of-age tale of a young woman getting in touch with her repressed sexuality, stunted by both her home life and single-minded pursuit of being an impeccable dancer.

Black Swan is a horror movie about a woman's descent into abject madness, wherein the use of mirrors, long a cliché, feels delightfully fresh.

Black Swan is a companion piece to Aronofsky's The Wrestler, another story of an otherwise broken individual that only knows how to live through performing their craft.

Black Swan is the same movie as The Wrestler, except the low-brow "art" of wrestling is replaced by ballet — perhaps the most visual, enduring, and universally accessible performance art of our entire species.

Black Swan is nothing like Aronofsky's previous movie, The Wrestler.

Black Swan is a dark comedy, a drama that is so incredibly over-the-top, with histrionics and music cues, that one can't help but laugh.

Black Swan is Oscar bait for Natalie Portman, who gave one of the most thrilling screen performances in recent memory.

I have no idea what Black Swan was. All I know is that I loved it.

This article was originally written for and published at The Junior Varsity.

2010: a brief review of every new release I saw this year

2010-12-30T12:30:00.003-06:00

Leonardo DiHapprio was in several hit movies this year!

It’s the end of yet another year, and while most people are reflecting on serious personal matters like their careers, relationships, and sores that refuse to heal, I’m reviewing the list of every movie of 2010 I saw. I felt like I saw far fewer movies this year than last - but I was wrong.

Youth In Revolt

Am I wrong, or does it seem like this movie came out three years ago? Michael Cera does his typical shtick as an awkward kid that decides to go bad to win the girl of his dreams. Adapted from the novel of the same name, Cera’s dream girl Portia Doubleday twists him into a fire-starting, car-stealing miscreant. I read a script for this several years ago and enjoyed it, the film is ultimately forgettable but is held afloat by some great supporting actors, including Zach Galifianakis, Justin Long, Ray Liotta, and Steve Buscemi. IHYFM rating: 2.5/5 MEHs.

Red Riding Trilogy

Originally produced as a miniseries for BBC 4, it was released in the US this past year as a trilogy. Billed by Slate as British version of The Wire, it follows journalists, detectives, and private eyes over many years as they’re all torn apart by a series of murders, in part inspired by the real-life Yorkshire Ripper. It is excellent, but my enjoyment was diminished in part by the fact I viewed the entire trilogy over St. Patrick’s Day weekend in Chicago, which is essentially a city-wide 72-hour hangover. There’s many recognizable actors, including Andrew Garfield (The Social Network and the incumbent Spiderman), Paddy Considine (Hot Fuzz, The Bourne Ultimatum, Cinderella Man), and Mark Addy (the fat funny Brit from everything). Definitely worth viewing over the course of a week or two. IHYFM rating: 4/5 MEHs.

Shutter Island

Even more perplexing to me than the massive pop-culture orgasm Shutter Island caused was how quickly it seemed to disappear from the collective consciousness. I don’t think the fact I read an early script back in 2005 contributed to my feeling the film was a letdown - technically well-made, but boring, long, and completely obvious. When names like Scorsese, DiCaprio, and Ruffalo, I expected a lot more than I received. I previously dared anyone that felt passionately otherwise to defend the film, but it turns out I was shouting into the void. IHYFM rating: 3/5 MEHs.

The Crazies

A decent remake of the 1973 thriller by George Romero that pits Timothy Olyphant, small-town sheriff, against infected townsfolk and a military strike force trying to wipe the virus off the face of the earth. Not terribly good, but not too bad: perfect for throwing on your streaming Netflix when you’re busy doing something else. IHYFM rating: 3/5 MEHs.

Green Zone

I actually did not finish watching this movie. When it came from my Netflix queue, I put it on, and almost immediately lost interest in what was essentially Paul Greengrass’ fourth entry into the Bourne franchise, except Matt Damon is a soldier looking for evidence of WMD’s, that, shocker, aren’t anywhere to be found in Iraq. After a painfully obvious and preachy scene about civilians not having any water or something, I turned it off. Not because it offended my political views, but because it offended my sense of basic decent storytelling. IHYFM rating: never TBD.

Hot Tub Time Machine

The much-anticipated screwball time-travel farce only delivered a fraction of the self-aware laughs that seemed possible, leading some critics to call it one of the worst movies of 2010. While I was a bit let down by an over-reliance on lowbrow scatological humor, there were decent laughs throughout delivered by the core cast of John Cusack, Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, and Clark Duke, along with Lizzy Caplan, Chevy Chase, and Crispin Glover, whose running gag was hands-down the best of the film. No pun intended. IHYFM rating: 3.5/5 MEHs.

Kick-Ass

Add it to the list: another comic-book movie with a lot of potential that the final product wasn’t able to live up to. The premise is good - a high school kid takes it upon himself to be a super hero, and crosses paths with the real deal, a foul-mouthed tyke with an axe to grind played by the scenery-chewing Chloe Grace Moretz (who also played a neck-chewing vampire in this year’s remake of Let The Right One In). The scattered plot loses steam going into the third act, but some terrific, if not disturbing, action sequences made the movie a forgettable but interesting enough diversion. For once, Nic Cage’s over-acting fits. IHYFM rating: 3/5 MEHs.

The Good, The Bad, The Weird

The Asian western catalog of Sukiyaki Western Django and Tears of the Black Tiger were joined by a third installment this past summer when the 2008 Korean film was released in the US. Starring Kang-ho Song, from the excellent films Thirst and The Host, Kim Jee-woon’s homage to spaghetti westerns takes many cues from The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly in a tale of treasure hunters in Manchuria where fragile alliances are forged and broken. It’s a lot of fun, and features one of the best Mexican standoffs and ensuing shootouts I’ve ever seen on film. For fans of Sergio Leone, I couldn’t recommend the movie enough. IHYFM rating: 4/5 MEHs.

A Nightmare on Elm Street

The remake of Wes Craven’s classic was completely unnecessary, and mostly ridiculous. The addition of microsleep, though, made for a nice extra addition of scary vulnerability for the terrorized teens. The back story of Freddy Kruger, now played by the very good Jackie Earle Haley, is unnecessarily brutal, which left a sour taste in my mouth. The fact I laughed hysterically at the first death of the movie, to the horror of everyone else in the theater, probably says enough. IHYFM rating: 2/5 MEHs.

Human Centipede: First Sequence

Wait, I didn’t actually see this. I just listened to Daniel Tosh recap the entire thing.

Iron Man 2

Good - Scarlett Johansson in a cat suit. Bad - weak pacing, forcing The Avengers subplot, an underutilized Mickey Rourke, obvious ‘final showdown’ ending, the unnerving feeling the movie was shot on the second draft of the script, over-reliance on AC/DC to make me feel the action I saw on screen was actually badass. Weird - posthumous DJ AM. IHYFM rating: 2.5/5 MEHs.

Metropolis (2010 reissue)

Some lost-and-found footage, while in pretty poor condition, really fleshes out the 1927 Fritz Lang classic. Found in Buenos Aires in 2008, several scenes are extended and a few new short ones are added, giving a little more insight into the characters and what is happening in the story. The tale of workers rising up against an indifferent puppet master, and the ensuing chaos, is as vital today as it was then. I was one of the few to catch it at the Music Box theater, which with the vines and columns in it's smaller second screening room, felt amazingly appropriate. IHYFM rating: 5/5 MEHs.

MacGruber

Add it to the long list of SNL crossovers that failed to make a splash at the box office. Overwhelmingly negative reviews, starkly contrasting the rave ones the film received at SXSW, helped the Will Forte vehicle limp into 6th place opening weekend. My buddy and I are convinced that we were some of the few people in the entire state of Illinois to see it, and he said he was glad that we caught a matinee, otherwise he would have felt ripped off. I can’t help but agree - some truly hysterical moments are weighed down by some seriously long stretches of nothing. Will it be a cult classic, though? We’ll see. IHYFM rating: 2.5/5 MEHs.

Get Him to the Greek

If any comedy was stocked with characters waiting for a spinoff feature, it was 2008’s excellent Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Russell Brand reprises his role as Lothario musician Aldous Snow, who is being escorted by Jonah Hill in a role unrelated to his original one in Marshall. Although some serious momentum is lost in a later scene with Hill’s girlfriend, played by Mad Men’s Elisabeth Moss, it’s a pretty enjoyable romp, and certainly one of the better comedies of the year. P Diddy steals every scene he’s in, especially the meme-tastic ‘furry wall’ sequence, and even steals one he’s not in, just by performing a voice over for a text he sends Hill. It never could fill the enormous shoes of Marshall, but Get Him to the Greek makes an admirable effort. IHYFM rating 4/5 MEHs.

Marmaduke

Ugh.

Toy Story 3

As we discussed over at The Junior Varsity, the Toy Story saga reaches a bittersweet finale that moved me in ways few other films managed to this past year. It sounds as though Pixar is going to make a push for the film to snag the Best Picture Oscar. I have no problem with this. IHYFM rating: 5/5 MEHs.

Cyrus

I can’t blame Jonah Hill for having a weird Oedipal thing for his mother when she’s played by Marissa Tomei. John C. Reilly stars in the Duplass Brothers film about a sad-sack divorcee trying to make a go of it with another divorcee. Matt Walsh and Catherine Keener playing supporting roles was a bonus for me in this interesting dark comedy. 4/5 MEHs.

Predators

Pretty much the only thing I remember from this movie is that shot from the trailer where Adrien Brody is lit up with targeting lasers is that in the actual movie, there’s only one. Maybe two. Also, Topher Grace is in dire need of another Ocean’s sequel for a cameo. IHYFM rating: 2/5 MEHs.

Winnebago Man

A funny, and occasionally heartbreaking and poignant look at the man behind one of the first ever viral videos. An essential documentary from 2010. IHYFM rating: 4.5/5 MEHs.

Inception

The biggest movie of the summer spawned a lot of backlashes, and backlashes to the backlashes, for being either too smug, or not inventive enough, or merely complicated without being smart. Whatever. This was hands-down one of the most entertaining movies of the year, if nothing else, because it wasn’t a remake or adaptation. IHYFM rating: 4/5 MEHs.

Dinner for Shmucks

An innocuous, but not memorably funny, comedy with Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, and Zach Galifiankis, based of the French film The Dinner Game. Worth the watch if you like the cast and aren’t expecting anything groundbreaking. IHYFM rating: 3/5 MEHs.

The Other Guys

Director Adam McKay again teams up with Will Ferrell for a surprisingly conventional farce when compared to their past collaborations. Ferrell costars with Mark Wahlberg as two NYPD detectives trying to blow the lid off a ponzi scheme. Filled with some truly funny set pieces and great bits by Michael Keaton and Eve Mendes made for a very enjoyable comedy. Bonus - take a listen to McKay’s interesting interview on the essential WTF Podcast with Marc Maron about some of his motivations for making a ponzi scheme a plot point, but why he doesn’t go farther with it. IHYFM rating: 4/5 MEHs.

Scott Pilgrim Versus The World

As a big fan of Edgar Wright’s previous films, Shaun of the Dead and the vastly overlooked Hot Fuzz, I was a little let down by a film that seemed to only play with conventions visually as opposed to thwarting them thematically. The film looks spectacular - great editing, cinematography, and production design really make the film pop. Sadly though, I felt a little bored as most of the beats were pretty similar. Throw in a rocking soundtrack produced by Beck, though, and you have a movie that is worth the time if you have nothing better to do. IHYFM rating: 3/5 MEHs.

Machete

Yes, we all know it started as a fake trailer in Grindhouse, and why not have Danny Trejo wander around slashing folks for two hours if you can. A decent action movie, and a far more interesting immigration farce, Machete gets some serious leverage from the fact it was released around the same time as the Arizona immigration law. Robert DeNiro is a lot of fun as the gun-toting hardline Gubernatorial candidate, and you get to see Jessica Alba’s sideboob! Bonus - weird metaphor for Linsay Lohan’s entire life as she plays a coked-out skank that tries to redeem herself in the end. IHYFM rating: 3.5/5 MEHs.

The Town

A by-the-numbers heist saga set in the roughest parts of Boston. I’m not sure if I was underwhelmed because of the sheer awesomeness of Ben Affleck’s directorial debut Gone Baby Gone, or because the whole movie felt like a low-grade rehash of Heat, but regardless, I was shocked at the mostly-very-positive reviews the film received. No love lost for Affleck, Jeremy Renner, or Jon Hamm, though. IHYFM rating: 2.5/5 MEHs.

The Social Network

It’s David Fincher’s best film since Zodiac, and arguably the best film of the year. Nevermind what it does or doesn’t get right about the actual history of the founding of The Facebook, The Social Network is an engrossing cautionary tragedy that’s incredibly well-made. Additionally, Trent Reznor's soundtrack is fantastic, and will hopefully get an Oscar nod. IHYFM rating: 5/5 MEHs.

Inside Job

How, exactly, did we get into the financial mire our country’s been stuck in for the past two years? Director Charles Ferguson demonstrates with chilling simplicity how firms like AIG were able to make untold millions betting against themselves. Although he too often tries to verbally corner his less than admirable interviewees, and the final moments are quite pandering, it nevertheless is an infuriating examination of our undeniably broken financial system. Client 9 himself, Eliot Spitzer, comes off well to boot in an amusingly self-aware comment. IHYFM rating: 5/5 MEHs.

Jackass 3D

If your idea of a hilarious time does not include someone taking a surprise dump, maybe this movie isn’t for you. While tamer than the previous Jackass installments, 3D delivers plenty of laughs, and additionally makes some sly commentary on the nature of 3D film making. IHYFM: 4/5 MEHs.

I Am Comic

A documentary interviews several big names, and several small ones, on the craft and history behind stand up comedy, and the life it can lead to. In part it follows retired comic Ritch Shydner, who finds he really misses performing, most notably in a heart-wrenching scene where he watches Todd Glass perform. Interesting, slow at times, but absolutely worth it if you’re a comedy nerd. One of the highlights is footage from a hidden camera Andy Kindler wears while on stage. IHYFM rating: 3.5/5 MEHs.

Due Date

“Hey, remember how much you liked The Hangover? Todd Phillips made another movie with Zach Galifianakis! Also Robert Downey Jr.! That sounds good, right?” There’s some good laughs, but ultimately it’s another forgettable comedy that relies heavily on Galifianakis. IHYFM rating: 3/5 MEHs.

127 Hours

James Franco seemed to be everywhere this year, and has received well-deserved accolades for his portrayal of Aron Ralston, the real-life amateur spelunker who cut his own arm off in 2003 after it was pinned under a boulder. Credit is due to director Danny Boyle who keeps the movie visually interesting throughout despite the obvious limitations, and don’t be surprised if Franco earns a Best Actor nomination this winter. IHYFM rating: 4/5 MEHs.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I

I saw this because a buddy moving out of town wanted to see it with a group. They caught me up to speed (the last one I saw was the one with the weird scary mermaids) so I wouldn’t be lost. At the end of the movie, I said it was as boring as The Two Towers, but with more walking. Guess I’m not in the target audience. IHYFM rating: whatever.

Tron: Legacy 3D

A friend asked me what I thought of this after I saw it. I told them that, as a two-hour-long 3D music video for a Daft Punk album of atmospheric techno, it was okay. Wait for the three good fight scenes to be on YouTube. And the totally forced shot of Olivia Wilde on a couch. IHYFM rating: 2/5 MEHs.

True Grit

The Coen Brother’s remake of the John Wayne classic, based off the 1968 Charles Portis novel, is as close to a straight genre film as they’ve ever made. Despite that, it takes some darkly humorous stabs at our perception of what the old west truly was, and is as good as any other recent film they’ve made. Not the best, but as good. Great performances from Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin, and the young Hailee Steinfeld. IHYFM rating: 5/5 MEHs.

Still on the list from 2010:
There were a lot of films with rave reviews, or at least interesting premises, I either missed in theaters or have yet see. To my credit, I did spend over half my weekends in a theater. That's worth something, isn't it?

Black Swan: Darren Aronofsky's ballet dancer drama has been blowing viewers away.

The King's Speech: Historical dramas + excellent cast = surefire Oscar bait.

Holy Rollers: I heard the Jesse Eisenberg caper was very interesting. This time, he doesn't steal the idea for Facebook, though.

The Kids Are All Right: The better of two artificial insemination comedies this year, not that it sounded like The Switch was a tough one to top.

Exit Through The Gift Shop: It's already on Netflix Instant, so I have no excuse to not see the Banksy-featuring documentary that had critics raving.

Four Lions: A dark comedy that's equal parts The Office and Paradise Now. Apparently that can work.

Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work: The only documentary that could possibly be nominated for Best Makeup Effects.

Winter's Bone: Friends have told me I need to see it. I have no idea what it's about, except, I think, bad stuff in the woods.

Howl: James Franco does poetry in New York. Okay.

Restrepo: Another documentary already on Netflix Instant, this one about the ongoing war in Afghanistan.

Countdown to Zero: It's An Inconvenient Truth, except with nuclear weapons. Fun for the whole family!

The American: A George Clooney thriller that's undeniably European in style - depending which critic you read, that's either great or awful.

Easy A: Emma Stone... makes me unable to say anything coherent.

The Virginity Hit: The Adam McKay-Will Ferrell-produced pseudo-documentary takes American Pie to another level of outlandishness.

The Boxing Gym: A documentary about... a boxing gym. Well-reviewed by the few critics that saw it.

Mother: I like my foreign movies chock full of drama, dark comedy, and awesomeness, which the director of The Host is more than capable of delivering.

On a personal note, I'd like to thank everyone who's enjoyed reading reviews and snarkisms here over the past year. As you undoubtedly have noticed, my pace has dropped the past few months, due to several in-progress writing projects that have consumed a great amount of time. Although I do plan on continuing to post the occasional review here and at The Junior Varsity, the pace likely won't increase for a while. I'd encourage you to bookmark The JV, as well as follow me on Twitter, where it's a lot easier to throw my thoughts into the void, as well as communicate with anyone listening. If it ever comes to pass that something I've written or produced is ready to be taken down a notch by an anonymous internet miscreant, I'll let you all know. In the meantime, though, thank you again for your patronage, and please have a safe and wonderful new year, filled with only the highest quality filmed entertainment.

Best,

Joe

Jackass 3D: technologically advanced dick jokes

2010-11-11T14:15:00.001-06:00

In a massive advertising campaign, we were told time and time again how the technology pioneered for James Cameron’s blue-cats-in-space epic Avatar would revolutionize the way films were made and viewed. Never mind the fact the first 3D film was shown to audiences in 1922 or that motion capture has been used for a decade, Cameron was revolutionizing everything for the better.

My grievances with Avatar are well-documented. There are splashy effects, and yes, eye-popping use of 3D. Those serve as no substitute for story, and thankfully, over the past year the masses have seemed to recognize the absurd self-importance of 3D. This, perhaps, is best encapsulated in the final segment of Jackass 3D, wherein merry-maker Johnny Knoxville, in slow motion, throws a bowl of dildos at the audience.

The Jackass films, television show, and multiple spinoffs have never been about subtlety, story, or sophistication. Rather, as untold legions of professional and amateur media critics have previously explained, the joy of the Jackass franchise is the puerile pranks and sophomoric stunts that are performed mirthfully, and more importantly, without malice (usually). A cursory glance of YouTube reveals millions of imitators, but none can match the gleeful charm of Knoxville, Steve-O, Bam Margera, and their band of cohorts.

Jackass 3D is a worthy installment in the series. It’s tamer than the first two films, no doubt in part because the stars are starting to push 40 and are a little worse for the wear, as they described in a recent interview with Vanity Fair. Among the highlights were a curiously-used model train set, an extended set playing in the exhaust of a jet engine, playing football with Jared Allen and Josh Brown, a miniature bar fight, monstrous high-fives, and using super glue in an unintended manner. Even though it didn’t feel like the movie reached a full tilt until the end, it nevertheless was consistently amusing, disgusting, and shocking.

I actually saw the film twice - once in 3D its opening week, and a second time in 2D while visiting friends in Chicago. I can say without reservation - this movie is better in 3D. An introduction by two of MTV’s two-dimensional poster children loses some of it’s absurdity when not seen with the special glasses. Several throw-away gags throughout the movie lack some of their “how ridiculous is this technology?” mirth when various projectiles are merely implied to be headed towards the viewer instead of leaping out of the screen. Therein is the highest praise I can offer to Jackass 3D - by combining a filmmaking gimmick with their typical juvenile antics, the Jackass crew creates self-aware laughs that come dangerously close to being sophisticated.

TOO MUCH: Chris Pontius’ member. Johnny Knoxville absent-mindedly grabbing his crotch every time he laughs. Poop.

COULD HAVE USED MORE: Extended gags like the jet engine. Knoxville dressed as an old man.

FILM SNOB NOTE: Some Jackass fans may not realize producer/old woman Spike Jonze is the director of Being John Malkovich, Adaptation, and Where The Wild Things Are, along with countless music videos and commercials. Can someone confirm or deny I spotted Robot Chicken writer/handsome fellow Breckin Meyer during the end credits? Videographer Lance Bangs has a history of laughing himself silly and getting sick during bits, this sequel is no exception. During part of the jet engine antics, I was screaming "that's how Stuart Scott lost his eye!" Following the success of Jackass 2.5 and the theatrical run of Jackass 3D, there will be a Jackass 3.5 either in theaters or DVD soon, so says the internet.

IHYFM RATING: FOUR out of FIVE MEHS. Overall, I think Jackass Number Two is a little bit funnier, but this installment had me laughing heartily throughout. If you’re a fan of the Jackass franchise, you probably already saw this, and if not, you need to get to a theater with a 3D screening post-haste.

IF YOU SAID THIS WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE, I’D THINK: I hope you have health insurance.

When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you

2010-10-13T08:18:00.002-05:00

Editor's note: this column was originally published as a part of a series of articles about The Social Network at The Junior Varsity.

The main character is tragic; at once both simplistic and infinitely complicated. He clearly wants to be recognized for his brilliance, but his grating manner of interpersonal communication ultimately separates him from those with whom we suspect he'd most like to connect.

Obviously, I am referring to New York Press film critic Armond White, renowned Rotten Tomato/Metacritic spoiler, and one of the isolated professional film reviewers to dismiss David Fincher's latest directorial effort, The Social Network.

What I, along with most professional critics and a modest majority of filmgoers, saw in The Social Network was an expertly told (albeit fictionalized) character study of real-life Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg. Zuckerberg, as played by Jesse Eisenberg and scripted by Aaron Sorkin, is an antihero that alienates the few people close to him during his single-minded effort to create what would become the defining social digital phenomenon of the decade. It is beautifully encapsulated in the final shot; without spoiling it, a simple repeated act and well-chosen song beg the question of what our fictionalized Zuckerberg gained and lost in the creation of Facebook, but also, what all of us gain and lose by participating in any of the digital networks that have evolved in the past several years.

I enjoyed the film, as I have much of Fincher's work, specifically Zodiac, as it tells a story with an intelligence, grace, and sophistication rarely seen in major Hollywood releases. I wouldn't go so far as to call Social Network an instant classic, but I have no qualms saying it's among the best studio films of 2010 so far.

That is my opinion. I formed it after seeing the film, taking it all in, reflecting on what I've seen, and in part letting my own life experiences shape what I felt about what I saw on screen. I do have some previous biases towards Fincher and Eisenberg, but tried to judge The Social Network on its own merits, which I felt were numerous.

Armond White, however, would disagree.

He doesn't read The Social Network as a cautionary tale. He sees it as a celebration of calculated capitalism that glorifies a character otherwise universally interpreted as both tragic and unapologetic. White sees the fictionalized Zuckerberg as a justification for an online community that he (perhaps appropriately) dismisses as uninformed and vulgar. Following outcries over his negative reviews of The Dark Knight, Toy Story 3, and Inception, White went so far as to pen a column dismissing the ever-growing phenomenona of message boards and sarcastic blogs that mindlessly rally around tentpole pictures, and ratings sites that dilute film criticism down to a game of pure numbers and percentages.

I mostly agree with those general sentiments. Coming from Mr. White, however, they are... peculiar.

White's célébrité stems from his infamously contrarian reviews of popular cinema, often favoring smaller independent films over their big-budget counterparts. Preferring the art-house to the box office isn't new or noteworthy. What is, however, and what makes him truly infamous, is his inconsistency.

Last year, Roger Ebert came to White's defense following a negative review of District 9,stating that White's comments of empty symbolism were appropriate (sentiments I likewise stated in one of my early reviews on IHYFM). Ebert, though, was unfamiliar with White's overall body of critiquing work, and when directed to a list of films White dismissed as well as some clunkers he praised, Ebert was quick to state:

"I realized I had to withdraw my overall defense of White. I was not familiar enough with his work. It is baffling to me that a critic could praise Transformers 2 but notSynecdoche, NY. Or Death Race but not There Will be Blood. I am forced to conclude that White is, as charged, a troll. A smart and knowing one, but a troll."

I only became familiar with White recently, following his negative review of Toy Story 3 (and praise of Jonah Hex), which drew fire for not only missing the incredible humanity and bravery of its main characters, especially in the face of certain demise, but for incorrectly identifying Hamm as one of the villains of the franchise.

As I became more familiar with White's work, it became readily apparent those minor incorrect details were a hallmark of his reviews. His piece on The Social Network indicates the Winklevoss twins were played by two actors, Armie Hammer and Josh Pence, when the credit roll of the film credits Hammer as playing both twins and Pence as one, an obvious indicator that Pence was a body double. If that seems too subtle a miss on White's part, his review of Machete is more glaring. The review begins with this statement:

"Spoiled alert: That over-the-top image of Danny Trejo firing a machine-gun-mounted-motorcycle while being propelled by a fireball in the Grindhouse spoof-trailer forMachete never appears in the movie itself."

I saw the film. That image absolutely appears in the final reel of the movie. Obvious misses like those, along with frequent spelling, grammatic, and syntactic errors, parallel White often missing the bigger picture of films he reviews.

To go back to the work of Fincher, White's review of Zodiac criticizes a script that provides no definitive answers as to the identity of the real-life Zodiac killer. His error is two-fold — not only did the best real-life suspect die before he could be charged, but the film clearly makes its case for the probability of that suspect being the culprit during the final ten minutes of the film. He blasts Fincher for referencing Dirty Harry, oblivious to the historical context as well as lines of dialogue that explain Dirty Harry was a film made about Toschi and the Zodiac killer long before the case was close to being solved. Similarly, White described a rowing race in The Social Network as "egregious" and "affectless" without seeming to realize the metaphoric importance of the Winklevoss twins narrowly losing a race.

White clearly misses what seems obvious to many of us. However, and this is the really frustrating part of the White persona, sometimes he's right on the money.

Although not a wildly unpopular sentiment, he has blasted the Oscars as being ultimately meaningless. He acknowledged the manner in which The Hurt Locker operated outside of obvious war film conventions. He praised the indie comedy The Foot Fist Way for encapsulating everyman angst in a hilariously vulgar yet begrudgingly likable protagonist. He wrote one of my favorite sentences I've read regarding The Social Network, stating that Eisenberg's Zuckerberg was "the most obnoxious movie protagonist Noah Baumbach didn't write."

His knowledge of film history is impressive. On occasion, his insights are unparalleled. However, his insistence on the veracity of his opinions, which often unfairly compare films (Blade Runner shouldn't have been made because Metropolis did it better, for example), or drift so far off base as to not even resemble film criticism (most of his review of Life As We Know It criticizes The Social Network, David Fincher and his Kubrickian aesthetic, and tacitly blames Zuckerberg for the suicide of Tyler Clementi). White is, as Ebert proclaimed, a troll that knows his film history. As I see it, were it not for the troll, the man from Detroit who would rise to be the chairman of the New York Film Critics Circle could have been an influential film critic that did more than recount the cast of a film and give it an arbitrary numeric rating. The troll, however, all but consumes a reviewer that shows an occasional flash of brilliance.

Therein lies the tragedy of White dismissing The Social Network.

Whether Armond White likes it or not, he is Mark Zuckerberg.

He has alienated himself from a potential adoring public by his manipulation and cocksure certainty of his own brilliance. Despite his declaration of the majority of filmgoers to be crude and ignorant consumers, I refuse to believe there is not a part of White that envies Ebert or Maltin — critics that likewise have a vast knowledge of film history, but are also revered by critics and movie fans alike for their frank and astute movie criticisms. Perhaps more accurately, I imagine White envies his mentor, Pauline Kael, who had a widespread fanbase and degree of artistic influence despite her occasional bashing of mainstream offerings and championing questionable indie titles.

Whatever his ultimate goals or aspirations may be, White's reputation as a knee-jerk antagonist have been all but sealed, thanks to his mostly bewildering, and always self-important, cinematic opinions. His poor analysis of The Social Network, viewing it as a celebration of cutthroat capitalism instead of a tragic cautionary tale, is all too fitting as it was a lost opportunity for White to engage in some honest self-reflection.

In that respect, perhaps White isn't Zuckerberg. His tendency to ignore mainstream successes and champion otherwise overlooked films mimics the work of Kael, only Kael did it far better than he seems to be able.

He's the Winklevoss twins.

Someone get me David Fincher. I think I know a great subject for his next biopic.

Winnebago Man: finding some meaning in the meaningless world of Internet stardom

2010-09-27T13:07:00.004-05:00

Jack Rebney became an unwitting star when a now-22-year-old montage of outtakes found its way onto Youtube in 2005. The creatively profane outbursts resonated with a nascent online audience that was far from discovering how it would interact with the media it absorbed. The “angriest man in the world” was fascinating, the sales video for motorized homes that was the source of the outtakes had never been seen. Nobody seemed to know anything about Jack Rebney, and he never came forward to respond to the video. People sort of assumed he was dead.

Austin filmmaker Ben Steinbauer was intrigued by the mythos of Rebney, and wanted to find out definitively whether he was still alive, and if so, who he really was. The result was the 2009 award-winning documentary Winnebago Man, which is currently in a limited theatrical release. Without spoiling too much in this review, Rebney is alive, and is as cantankerous as ever.

What makes Winnebago Man such an intriguing film, aside from the no-nonsense attitude and blunt wit of its titular star, is that it helps personify the effects overnight internet stardom can have. Steinbauer spends part of the film recounting the story of “Star Wars kid” Ghyslain Raza, and briefly interviews “Impossible is nothing” video resume star Aleksey Vayner. Raza spent time under psychiatric care in the aftermath of his fame, and Vayner claims he’s been able to accept his notoriety in all its forms, even as parodied by Michael Cera.

Although it feels like Steinbauer went easy on Vayner, he challenges Rebney on how he perceives his fame and what he thinks can or cannot be accomplished by it. To Steinbauer’s credit, it’s pretty clear he didn’t set out to be a character in the story, but when it became inevitable after Rebney began interacting with him, he does so with restraint. The conclusion that Rebney ultimately reaches is his own. The journey of his reaching that conclusion is as much fun as the viral promises, as well as surprisingly heartfelt, and highly recommended for anyone that has ever wondered what happens to the subjects in viral videos after the browser window closes.

TOO MUCH: Footage of Rebney’s buddy hiking and sipping wine.

COULD HAVE USED MORE: discussion of how the web is affecting media and how we all consume it, which is touched on in the beginning of the film.

FILM SNOB NOTE: The finished Winnebago sales video that Rebney was producing has been virtually unseen by anyone as Rebney was fired after filming completed. Steinbauer told me after the Minneapolis premiere* that it is immensely impressive for a sales video, and will be a bonus feature on the DVD.

IHYFM RATING: FOUR AND A HALF out of FIVE MEHs. It’s not a perfect or flashy film, but has an understated poignancy and is a fascinating look at an intelligent, complicated, and unwilling minor celebrity. Winnebago Man, and I suspect The Social Network, will be required viewing for anyone wanting to reflect on how the web has impacted the way we interact with one another.

IF YOU SAID THIS WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE, I’D THINK: You’re not a “goddam jackass.”

*Two Hunter S. Thompson-esqe friends and I attended the Minneapolis premiere, which was hosted by Steinbauer and the crew of the original sales video. Although they had not been to other screenings, they said it was appropriate as the viral was shot in Iowa and Rebney is a Minneapolis native. Although he was not in attendance, Steinbauer held a microphone to his cell and called Rebney, whom Steinbauer said he speaks with almost daily.

- As an owner of an American bulldog, “not a ‘pitbull,’” Rebney stated even though he’s legally blind, he’s 6’5, 230lbs, and would love to fight Michael Vick (even though he couldn’t recall Vick’s name).

- Rebney’s dissatisfaction with the Bush administration is well-documented in the film; when asked what he thought of the Obama administration, he said he thought the healthcare reform was a perfect example of good intentions being channeled to the wrong priorities.

- I managed to get in the last question of the night. Rebney is a veteran of CBS News who idolized the likes of Cronkite and Murrow. I asked whether he thought there was any hope for the present 24-hour news culture, he concluded, after a long diatribe, that the best hope for political discourse was for young people to abandon the traditional political parties and start something for ourselves. There you have it, Generation Me: the Angriest Man Alive wants us to get off our asses and do something for ourselves.

Jack Rebney: perhaps the only viral video star worthy of a documentary

2010-09-14T20:19:00.004-05:00

The internet tubes are all but clogged with videos that spread about as though they were some sort of virus. Among the most popular are those that make us laugh, be they unfortunate accidents, miscalculations, outbursts, or unadulterated cuteness. The in-the-moment quality of the videos is what makes them work – they are a snapshot of a moment that likely couldn't be planned or replicated. They are honest. And importantly, they are brief. The background of the events or people involved in the average viral video would not be interesting enough for a half-hour television special, let alone a feature-length film.

The apparent exception to that rule, though, is Jack Rebney, the foul-mouthed star of one of the original viral videos, the “Winnebago Man.”

What is fascinating about the video, originally made in 1988, is that it was spliced together from outtakes of multiple day's worth of footage, before simple drag-and-drop non-linear editing systems were common. The effort to put together such a montage, especially one that has various themes at different points, and isn't merely a chronological account of everything that occurred on set, must have been a serious undertaking. Furthermore, the fact that the video survived for over a decade without the aid of the digital age, is telling: before sharing videos just took a couple of clicks at the keyboard, viral videos had to be dubbed and handed off friend to friend. Even as late as 1998, trading video tapes was still prevalent enough to warrant a lampooning skit on the final season of Mr. Show (first minute).

What has survived the years is a brief study of a man who is certainly temperamental, but not vindictive. While Rebney does direct some of the ire at his crew, most of it is meant only for him – he spends most of the time ridiculing himself, and, as we can see later in the video, it's frequently jovial. He spends at least an equal amount of time laughing and spitting out random consonants as he does cursing. Unlike Christian Bale's infamous rant that's pure vitriol, Rebney's taped struggles are not so much a dressing down of another as they are an internal struggle displayed publicly. That, I believe, is what originally gave the Winnebago Man legs, and helped it survive all of these years until it was able to reach a wider audience.

When it did, Rebney was a viral star. What makes him even more unique than being made a star almost 25 years after the fact is that he had secluded himself from society to such an extent, he didn't know he was famous. Given the amount of time, the nature and extent of the video, and the unlikely celebrity, Jack Rebney was the ideal candidate for a documentary. Winnebago Man, following rave reviews at SXSW, is on a limited tour of the US before an eventual DVD release. It opens in Minneapolis next week. If I don't make it out, I'm no better than the fly ruining a shot of the Itasca RV – a goddam jackass.

"SCOTT PILGRIM": A COOL MOVIE MY MOM DIDN'T WANT ME TO SEE

2010-08-27T10:07:00.004-05:00

Editor's note: I saw the film Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World and enjoyed it, but I wasn't blown away, as I mentioned in my comments as a part of the excellent series running at The Junior Varsity. I don't deny it has a very strong visual aesthetic, and I quite enjoy the work of director Edgar Wright, but I was a little ambivalent. I figured I might be too old to be in the target audience, so I arranged for my intrepid 9-year-old junior reporter Spencer to see the movie without his mother's knowledge. His unedited words are below. Enjoy.

SO I SAW SOME OF THE TRAILERS FOR SCOTT PILGRIM AND I WAS LIKE, WOW THAT LOOKS LIKE A REALLY COOL MOVIE BECAUSE IT LOOKED LIKE A VIDEO GAME AND JAPANAMATION AND I WANTED TO SEE IT BUT I WAS PRETTY SURE MY MOM WOULDN'T WANT ME TO SEE IT BECAUSE OF THE VIOLENCE AND FIGHTING AND ROCK MUSIC AND GUESS WHAT I WAS RIGHT. WHEN JOE CALLED AND SAID HE WOULD GIVE ME SOME MONEY TO SEE IT AND CALL THE THEATER TO PRETEND TO BE MY DAD SO I COULD SEE IT I WAS LIKE WOW I REALLY WANTED TO SEE IT SO PLEASE LET ME SEE IT AND HE SAID OKAY.

I WENT TO GO SEE IT ON A MONDAY NIGHT SO THERE WEREN'T ALOTS OF PEOPLE IN THE THEATER THERE WAS SOME HIGH SCHOOL KIDS IN FRONT OF ME ONE GUY AND LIKE FIVE GIRLS AND I WAS LIKE I HOPE I'M THAT COOL WHEN I GET TO BE IN HIGH SCHOOL BECAUSE HE HAS IT ALL FIGURED OUT. HE WAS SITTING AT THE END AND WAS WEARING A BEANIE AND BLAKC MUSCLE SHIRT AND FINGERLESS GLOVES AND HAD HIS ARM AROUND ONE OF THE GIRLS I THINK MAYBE I SHOULD GET CLOTHINGS LIKE THAT BECAUSE HE MADE IT WORK FOR HIM.

SO ANYWAYS THE MOVIE STARTED AND I LIKED IT FROM THE VERY BEGINNING THE UNIVERSAL LOGO WAS LIKE A REALLY OLD VIDEOGAME JOE SAID IT WAS PROBABLY SUPPOSED TO BE A SEGA GENESIS HE SAID THOSE COST ALMOST AS MUCH AS A PLAY STATION DOES TODAY AND I LAUGHED ALOT AND SAID OLD PEOPLE WERE STUPID TO PAY SO MUCH MONEY FOR THOSE I HEARD JOE SIGH.

AFTER THE UNIVERSAL LOGO THE MOVIE ACTUALLY STARTED IT WAS ABOUT SCOTT PILGRIM WHO PLAYS IN A BAND HE DOESN'T HAVE A JOB THOUGH SO HE'S KIND OF A LOSER AND POOR BUT HE JUST STARTED DATING THIS GIRL KNIVES WHO IS GOOD AT DDR FIGHTING GAMES AND BEING CHINESE. SHE SEEMS REALLY COOL AND SCOTT SEEMS TO LIKE HER BUT THEN HE DREAMS ABOUT RAMONA AND MEETS RAMONA AND HE WANTS TO DATE RAMONA AND EVERYONE TELLS HIM HE SHOULD BREAK UP WITH KNIVES FIRST BUT HE PUTS IT OFF UNTIL AFTER HE HAS A DATE WITH RAMONA AND THEY MADE KISSY IN UNDERWEAR AND IT WAS SO AWESOME I HOPE I HAVE DATES LIKE THAT SOMEDAY.

SO ANYWAYS RAMONA HAS EVIL EX-BOYFRIENDS THAT SCOTT HAS TO FIGHT AND KILL IF HE WANTS TO DO MORE UNDERWEAR DATES WITH RAMONA AND THE REST OF THE MOVIE IS HIM FIGHTING EX-BOYFRIENDS AND ONE EXGIRLFRIEND (WHAT?) AND THEN AT THE END HE FINALLY GETS TO DATE RAMONA MORE. JOE WANTED TO KNOW IF I THOUGHT THE COMBINATION OF WINNINGS WITH FIGHTING AND SOMETIMES BEING SMARTER THAN THE EX WAS SOMETHING I LIKED OR DIDN'T LIKE BUT I LIKED ALL THE FIGHTS BECAUSE THERE WAS ALWAYS SOME KUGFU ACTION AND COLORS FLASHING SO IT DIDN'T REALLY BOTHER ME I GUESS.

I ALSO LIKED HOW SOMETIMES IT WOULD SEEM LIKE THEY WERE TALKING IN THE SAME PLACE THEY STARTED TALKING BUT THEN THEY WERE SOMEWHERE ELSE STILL TALKING ABOUT THE SAME THINGS THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT THIS IS CALLED EDITING AND I LIKED IT BECAUSE IT WAS A SURPRISE. THERE WERE LOTS OF THINGS I NOTICED REALLY SMALL LIKE A SIGN WITH A FLICKERING LETTER SO IT SAID FIGHT IN A BACKGROUND OR HOW FUZZY STREETLIGHTS OUTSIDE LOOKED LIKE HEARTS WHILE SCOTT AND RAMONA WERE ON THE BUS I'LL BET I DIDN'T SEE ALL OF THEM.

SO ANYWAYS JOE ASKED ME A BUNCH MORE OF QUESTIONS ABOUT STUFF I LIKED AND DIDN'T LIKE AND I WAS LIKE YOU THINK ABOUT MOVIES TOO MUCH IT WAS REALLY COOL JUST ENJOY IT BUT ANYWAYS HERES SOME STUFF WE TALKED ABOUT. JOE WANTED TO KNOW IF I THOUGHT MICHAEL SERA WAS PLAYING THE SAME ROLE AND I WAS LIKE WHO IS MICHAEL SERA AND HE PLAYED SCOTT SO I SAID I LIKED HIM BECAUSE HE WAS FUNNY AND COOL. JOE SAID HE WAS IN YOUTH IN REVOLT AND I HADN'T HEARD OF IT AND PAPER HEART AND I HADN'T HEARD OF IT AND NICK AND NORAH'S INFINITE PLAYLIST AND I HADN'T HEARD OF IT. HE WAS IN JUNO THAT MY MOM WOULDN'T LET ME SEE BECAUSE IT GLORIFIED TEEN SEX AND IN SUPERBAD THAT MY MOM WOULDN'T LET ME SEE BECAUSE IT GLORIFIED TEEN SEX AND TEEN DRINKING AND ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT THAT MY MOM WOULDNT LET ME SEE BECAUSE IT GLORIFIED BEING SASSY. ALSO YEAR ONE.

HE ASKED ABOUT THE REST OF THE CAST AND LISTED OFF A BUNCH OF NAMES KEERUN CULKIN AS WALLACE WITH THE BOYFRIENDS AND MARK WEBBER AS STEPHEN FROM THE BAND AND ANNA KENDRICK AS STACEY THE SISTER AND AUBREY PLAZA AS JULIE WITH THE BLEEPS AND ALISON PILL AS KIM ON DRUMS AND MARY ELIZABETH WINSTEAD AS RAMONA WITH THE HAIR AND JOHNNY SIMMONS AS YOUNG NEIL ALSO ON BASS AND ELLEN WONG AS KNIVES AND CUTE AND JASON SCHWARTZMAN AS GIDEON THE BAD GUY AND I THOUGHT EVERYONE WAS REALLY GOOD. THERE WERE MORE NAMES HE SAID BUT I STOPPED PAYING ATTENTION.

I LIKED ALL THE MUSIC A LOT AND PLAYING AND HOW KIM COUNTED THEM OFF ONE TWO THREE FOUR ALL THE TIME THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE PUNK BANDS FROM THE 80S AND 90S BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THEM BECAUSE GUESS WHAT MY MOM DOESN'T LET ME LISTEN TO PUNK. JOE SAID THERE WAS STUFF THAT REFERENCED OTHER EDGAR WRIGHT MOVIES AND MATRIX TWO AND THE POWER UP REDO WAS LIKE RUN LOLA RUN BUT I DIDN'T SEE THOSE SO WHATEVER I STILL LIKED EVERYTHING PRETTY GOOD.

SO ANYWAYS I REALLY LIKED SCOTT PILGRIM AND IT WAS FUNNY AND REALLY COOL TO LOOK AT AND I LIKED ALL THE MUSIC AND FIGHTS WITH PEOPLE BURSTING INTO COINS AND STUFF AND SOUNDS SPELLED WITH LETTERS AND IT WAS LIKE WATCHING A REALLY AWESOME COMIC BOOK. I WAS SUPPOSED TO RATE IT FROM ONE TO FIVE SO I WOULD TOTALLY GIVE IT FIVE BECAUSE IT WAS SUPER AWESOME AND I LIKE MOVIES THAT WERE AWESOME. I WANT TO BE COOL LIKE SCOTT AND THAT GUY WITH THE FINGERLESS GLOVES AND PLAY THE BASS NOW BECAUSE SCOTT PILGRIM TAUGHT ME THE BASS IS THE COOLEST INSTRUMENT IN THE BAND.

IF YOU LIKE MOVIES THAT MAKE YOU LAUGH AND HAVE ACTION STUFF AND LOOK NEAT ALL THE TIME YOU SHOULD SEE SCOTT PILGRIM BECAUSE IT WAS COOL AND IT TEACHES YOU SOMETIMES YOUR BIGGEST ENEMY IS YOURSELF AND YOU CAN BEAT IT BY GOING TO LUNCH SO UNTIL NEXT TIME THANKS FOR READING MY REVIEW THIS IS SPENCER BYE.

"The Other Guys": Adam McKay's most conventional comedy to date

2010-08-12T22:07:00.007-05:00

Adam McKay, an alum of Second City and Improv Olymipic, a founding member of the Upright Citizen's Brigade, and former SNL writer and the originator of the SNL Digital Short, had a bit of experience in comedy before his directorial debut feature, 2004's Anchorman.

McKay's regular partnering with Will Ferrell, combined with McKay's studies under improv legend Del Close, has often led to his films featuring frequent non-sequitur asides and running gags. All three of McKay's features, Will Ferrell vehicles Anchorman, Talladega Nights, and Step Brothers, contain constant improvisations and tangents unrelated to the plot at hand, which does manage to stock his films with laughs but also makes them feel incredibly disjointed and loose compared to most other mainstream comedies. This style is in part thanks to McKay's famous tendency to overshoot, hence the DVD special “Wake Up Ron Burgundy: The Lost Movie,” which is comprised almost entirely of alternate takes and deleted scenes from Anchorman.

On first seeing the trailer for The Other Guys several months ago, it seemed clear that McKay wasn't going to stray too far from his usual playbook. Ferrell and Wahlberg star as two NYC desk cops who struggle to fill the shoes of star officers Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson, who are taken out of action. Their only way to shine above rivals Rob Riggle and Damon Wayans Jr is to catch Steve Coogan, a ponzi-scheme financier. Bombshell Eva Mendes surprised me with her comic chops as Ferrell's unlikely wife, and Michael Keaton was perfectly cast as the department's moonlighting captain with curious musical allusions.

Much of the laughs come from parodying cop movie tropes, most amusingly when Ferrell and Wahlberg get knocked over by an explosion.

In fact, The Other Guys rarely drifts far from playing with the cop and detective thriller cliches viewers are constantly bombarded with* and as a result, it feels like a much more focused comedy than previous Ferrell/McKay collaborations. Even though we already know what's going to happen throughout the film, McKay's awareness of the genre he's working with manages to keep the comedic beats intelligently surprising, and most importantly, consistently funny.

TOO MUCH: The film feels pretty lean, even though it clocks in at just over 1:40. Anyone complaining about too-long chase scenes or comedic bits probably doesn't appreciate, or have the patience for, the genre satire at play.

COULD HAVE USED MORE: Dare I say it, a little more improv from Ferrell, who was surprisingly reserved throughout the film.

FILM SNOB NOTE: a running gag about driving to the right pump up music** echoes the 1999 almost-cult hit Three Kings, wherein Wahlberg's fellow soldiers drive into battle listening to Chicago's “If You Leave Me Now.” A mini-theatrical spot for The Other Guys featured Ferrell and Wahlberg suspended from wires in the pose from the poster; a similar bit promoting Step Brothers featured Ferrell and costar John C. Reilly in a "living poster."

IHYFM RATING: FOUR out of FIVE MEHS. Is it a timeless comedy? Certainly not. Did it deliver a consistent stream of unpredictable laughs? Sure did.

IF YOU SAID THIS WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE, I'D THINK: I won't deny you when you tell me Gator needs his gat.

*Like the ones that could very well sink this fall's star-studded yet tragically titled thriller The Town.

**Ferrell claims the best is Little River Band.

"Dinner for Schmucks": serving up a buffet of lame puns for review slug lines

2010-08-06T10:06:00.006-05:00

To paraphrase Zach Galifianakis in his recent interview with Steve Carell, Carell has proved himself to be above criticism. Despite several questionable comedies following his rise to stardom on The Daily Show and the American adaptation of The Office, Carell continues to enjoy the reputation of a down-to-earth star with a solid box-office draw. Likewise, Paul Rudd, who was for a while best known to my generation as the not-blood-relation love interest in Clueless, has carved a nice comedy niche for himself in the world of Adam McKay/Judd Apatow style comedies, some (the David Wain-directed Role Models) far better than others (last year's uneven I Love You, Man).

As I stated previously in my summer comedy preview, Dinner For Schmucks, based on the French film The Dinner Game, seemed as though it would be a hit-or-miss. I was right. Were it not for the charm of Carell and Rudd, the movie would have been a total dud.

Dinner for Schmucks, directed by helmer Jay Roach (Meet the Parents), follows Tim (Rudd), a financial advisor hoping to advance his career. The only catch is he has to bring an unsuspecting dolt to a “dinner for losers” hosted by his boss every month. A chance encounter with Barry (Carell), an IRS agent with a hobby that combines dioramas and taxidermy, seems to be the answer to Tim's promotional problem. Of course, Tim's almost-fiancée Julie (Stephanie Szostak) isn't on board, and seems to be the object of artist Kieran's affections (played by the scene-stealing Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords). The film builds predictably to a predictable climax and a predictable resolution where everything works out in the end.

Dinner for Schmucks is an innocuous comedy – it's not hysterical, but consistently amusing, thanks in part to the amazingly deep cast. Aside from Zach Galifianakis in a supporting role, the screen is shared by the likes of Kristen Schaal (Mel in Flight of the Conchords), Nick Kroll (Chupacabra on some season 6 episodes of Reno 911!), Ron Livingston (Peter in Office Space), puppeteer with mass appeal Jeff Dunham, Octavia Spencer (the prostitute in Bad Santa that “didn't shit right for a week”), and Daily Show correspondent Larry Whilmore, just to name a few. Most of the weight, though, is carried by Carell and his ability to play the likable loser. Unlike Will Ferrell or Seth Rogen, who often play similar roles, Carell can perform in a way that makes the character completely sympathetic, which although unrealistic, is necessary for such an absurd comedy as this to stay afloat.

It's not a laugh riot, it's not groundbreaking, but, this being the highest praise I can offer to Dinner for Schmucks, it's not a disaster.

TOO MUCH: Emotional story arc. Granted, the side plots with Tim and Barry's respective women are far from the focus of the film, there's enough in there to make it feel forced. There was almost too much Zach Galifianakis, whom I fear audiences are going to quickly tire of.

COULD HAVE USED MORE: Embracing the absurdity of the dinner antics – I daresay a few comedic punches were pulled back. When a movie is cast with the likes of Carell, Rudd, Clement, Galifianakis, Schaal, and Kroll, more improv is always welcome. I'd be surprised if the DVD release weren't chock full of alternate takes and extended scenes.

FILM SNOB NOTE: In the original French film, it was more of a dark social satire than screwball comedy, and the dinner in question didn't even occur. The word "schmuck" or phrase "dinner for schmucks" doesn't appear anywhere in the actual film, thankfully.

IHYFM RATING: THREE out of FIVE MEHS. It's an inoffensive and ultimately forgettable comedy that still manages to deliver a consistent stream of chuckles. If you wanted to see it after watching the trailer, you'll probably enjoy it. If you've grown accustomed to the raunchier and riskier R-rated comedies that have been in vogue as of late, you may be a little disappointed.

IF YOU SAID THIS WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE, I'D THINK: You have the taste of a shmendrik.

"Inception": Christopher Nolan had a dream

2010-07-23T10:10:00.002-05:00

If you have not heard of the blockbuster thriller that garnered over $100 million in its first week, I hope it's because you've been doing something more important like plugging an oil leak in the gulf.

There's been a lot said on Inception this past week, from mostly positive reviews to an overwhelming barrage of various theories on how deep the dream actually goes. As my editor at the Junior Varsity so eloquently stated before we started a round table that'll run next week, “let's move past whether we liked it or not, or whether it met our expectations or not, or JESUS CHRIST whether or not Cobb was dreaming the whole time, and talk about something productive.” If your interest hasn't been piqued by the 'buuum'bastic trailers or the national conversation, nothing I say here will sway you.

Inception, a story of psychological thieves who invade dreams, is a well-executed and intelligent thriller. I'll leave it at that, because, honestly, everything that can be said about this film, in one form or another, already has been said.

TOO MUCH: Ridiculous character names: Ellen Page as Ariadne, the mythological princess that guided Theseus out of the Minotaur's labyrinth; Tom Hardy as Eames, which is one 'e' too many and one 'dr' short of being “Dreams”; Marion Cotillard as Mal, ostensibly the film's only villain whose name means “evil” in Latin...

COULD HAVE USED MORE: Joseph Gordon-Levitt fighting Astaire-style in the hotel. I could watch an entire movie of that alone. Stuff like the train in LA happening in other dream levels.

FILM SNOB NOTE: All of Nolan's films feature important hand held objects and dead/tragic females. DiCaprio plays master mind thief Cobb, which is the name of the thief in Nolan's debut feature Following. The hallways in the hotel were made in a giant rolling tube. Nolan famously doesn't like using a lot of CGI, and decided against making Inception 3D after the fact, like the much-derided Clash of the Titans. The "kick" song, "Non, je ne regrette rien," is a standard by Edith Piaf, the portrayal of whom earned Cotillard an Oscar.

IHYFM RATING: FOUR out of FIVE MEHS. Despite some minor flaws, it's a well-told thriller that's one hell of a lot of fun.

IF YOU SAID THIS WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE, I'D THINK: I successfully planted the idea when you were taking a nap.

Friday Film Snob Focus: Christopher Nolan

2010-07-16T10:15:00.002-05:00

If you threw a broken stopwatch, a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure novel, a trick coin, a blindfold, and a bag of illicit shrooms into a cinematic blender, the resulting puree would be the career of British auteur Christopher Nolan.

With today's opening of Inception, the highly-anticipated sci-fi adventure film with Leonardo DiCaprio, as well as one of the few films this summer not based on any existing source material, Nolan will add his seventh feature release to his impressive resume.

Nolan's specialty is toying with perception and audience expectations. His weapons of choice are the darker regions of the human psyche and nonlinear storytelling.

Although some critics suggest Nolan overlooks character emotion in favor of his storytelling tricks, few would deny his ability to use said tricks to make films that, even if flawed, are far more interesting than most standard Hollywood offerings.

Following, Nolan's debut feature, is barely 70 minutes long, but is a taut neo-noir that hints at what's to come in his future work. A young out-of-work writer takes to following random people around London to get inspiration for a story. He quickly becomes entangled with Cobb (the name of DiCaprio's character in Inception), a robber with a fascinating perspective on his career of breaking and entering, which spirals out of control for the young man. Nolan's best trick in the film is when he reveals key information, how non-linear techniques are used to frame previous events, and how everything comes full-circle in the end.

Nolan's second feature, Memento, famously did not get any distribution deal until Newmarket responded to the vocal support of Steven Soderbergh. The film, starring Guy Pearce as a man trying to find the person responsible for the death of his wife, is structured around an affliction that prohibits Pearce from forming new memories. Memento is told mostly in reverse so that we experience life as Pearce, but as we get closer to the end, we can see the entirety of what's happened to him in the past 36 hours. The structure of the film won it near-universal accolades, and also afforded some humorous moments such as this:

Insomnia, Nolan's 2002 feature and remake of the Norwegian thriller of the same name, didn't use non-linear tricks to toy with viewers; instead, he helped viewers feel Al Pacino's growing insanity that comes with not sleeping for days on end. One particular scene, that I can't find on Youtube, shows Pacino getting lost in the lazy rotations of a table fan at a police station as he inadvertently tunes out the officers he was brought to Alaska to help. The conceit of the movie is simple, but the film slowly intensifies as several murder mysteries become helplessly intertwined. Pacino, Robin Williams, and Hilary Swank are all in top form, and the simple twists make for a satisfying departure from the typical detective film.

Nolan's fourth feature, Batman Begins, was perhaps his most conventional film to date, but he successfully rebooted the franchise with both a critical and financial success. Madness and mental illusions are touched on with the nerve gas employed by the Scarecrow and the League of Shadows. The story is mostly linear with only a few callbacks to the prologue with young Bruce falling down a well. The theme of fear is a constant throughout, and like Following, plot details that seem irrelevant at first come back full circle in the end.

The Prestige, a tale of dueling magicians based off the Christopher Priest novel, is a great metaphor for Nolan's body of work. As Michael Caine describes in the trailer, a good magic trick has three parts. First, the audience is shown something ordinary, then the ordinary thing is made fantastic, and the final part is something unbelievable. I liked The Prestige more on a recent second viewing than I did originally: like much of Nolan's work, you're able to find the clues hidden throughout when you know the entire framework.

Despite the inflated length and third-act drags, The Dark Knight was yet another critical and commercial success in the renewed Batman franchise. Although much of the film's power comes from Heath Ledger's incredible performance as the Joker, it really lands because of the way that the Joker character, Bruce Wayne, the Batman persona, and Harvey Dent are all shown to be different sides of the same insane coin. Even though Nolan is not particularly well-known for his action scenes, the opening bank heist and truck chase in The Dark Knight are two of the most memorable and striking sequences from any recent blockbuster.

Some directors distinguish their work by their visual aesthetic (Fincher or Woo), others by the subject matter they tackle (Scorcese or Lynch). Nolan is a cinematic magician whose greatest illusion is making us believe he uses a light touch. Although his films seem to emanate an appropriately restrained British poise, you can sense a sly smile throughout his work. If we were to liken him to a character in The Prestige, he's Christian Bale - perhaps he doesn't have the flair of Hugh Jackman (like a Tarantino, or heaven help us, a Shyamalan), but he presents his work with the reserved confidence that he's going to show us something we've never quite seen before.

Nolan's trademarks: non-linear storytelling, memory, madness, planted evidence, hand-held cameras, dark blues and grays, efficient exposition (such as the first ten minutes of Batman Begins), spoken quips to lighten the mood, Batman symbolism (in Following and Memento), technology, mystery, loner males, unrequited love, significant small objects, tragedy befalling females, "man versus self"

Nolan's people: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Cillian Murphy, Mark Boone Junior, Ken Watanabe, Jeremy Theobald, brother and writer Jonathan Nolan, composer Hans Zimmer, cinematographer Wally Pfister

Some of Nolan's influences: The Shining (visible Jack Nicholson photos in Following), Blade Runner (according to interviews), Alfred Hitchcock

Watching Pixar grow up

2010-06-18T00:54:00.002-05:00

Have you heard? Pixar is coming out with a movie this summer. It's a follow up to their modest hits, Toy Story and Toy Story 2. I've heard it's okay (100% on RT after 77 reviews on Thursday night).

It's shocking to consider that Toy Story, Pixar's first major release, hit the silver screen fifteen years ago. Not to date myself too terribly, but I was scantly out of grammar school at the time. As I've personally grown up, developing my taste in film, my outlook on the world, and approaching something resembling maturity, Pixar has done the same. All the evidence you need is in their release slate to date.

Toy Story (1995): Like all other films to follow it, Toy Story started with a simple question: "what if?" What if our toys could walk and talk, but only when we weren't looking? The themes of Toy Story are simple - jealousy and friendship, and the resolution comes down to looking at a situation beyond yourself - Woody goes after Buzz because it's the right thing to do for Andy. Make no mistake - the storytelling is sophisticated, but the morals provide more food for thought for younger viewers.

A Bug's Life (1998): Our "what if": what if bugs could talk? Again, the themes dealt with are not terribly complex, namely, Flik, our outcast inventor, has unique talents that aren't recognized by the rest of the colony. What we learn is that everyone has something to contribute, no matter how strange their contributions may seem at first. An important lesson and lofty sentiment for a youngster, but not necessarily for their parents.

Toy Story 2 (1999): What if our toys could talk some more? Friendship again is important in the sequel, but responsibility and hubris take the center stage when Woody learns he is a valuable collector's item. It's with their third film that Pixar begins to dive into more sophisticated thematic territory.

Monsters, Inc (2001): What if there really were monsters under our beds, but they were just in the midst of an energy crisis? Monsters, Inc is obviously not the first film from Pixar to have children play a role, but here, Boo is also in need of protection rather than just the companionship Andy needs. Again, responsibility is a major theme, and we can see our little CGI studio maturing in the subjects it tackles. Additionally, the way that the energy crisis is solved, by thinking outside the box and finding new, more efficient sources of energy, is even more amusingly prescient today than it was in 2001.

Finding Nemo (2003): What if fish could talk? Finding Nemo doesn't reinvent the wheel with it's "what if," but it is undoubtedly the darkest Pixar film to date with the opening death of Nemo's mother. Again, we're shown that all of us have unique talents and value no matter what society might make us think at first. With Finding Nemo, we see a combination of themes explored in Toy Story, A Bug's Life, and Monsters, Inc: responsibility, contribution, and friendship.

The Incredibles (2004) and Cars (2006): The next two installments from Pixar are not bad by any means, but after the ground gained by the previous films, seem to just go through the motions. Again, loyalty and family are explored, more compellingly in The Incredibles than Cars. This is Pixar in the creative throes of adolescence. You can tell they're on the verge of exploring new territory, but not quite ready to find their footing.

Ratatouille (2007): What if rats could talk? And cook? The thematic elements of love, unique gifts, and loyalty aren't new, but Ratatouille is the first of Pixar's films to intimately explore the lives of (mostly) normal human characters. Additionally, the fact that much of the film revolves around cooking as an art form is a decidedly sophisticated step towards maturity of story elements. Pixar is growing up.

Wall-E (2008): Pixar has a major growth spurt with the release of Wall-E. Now all-too-familiar themes of unique talents paying off and responsibility play into a love story that is wrapped in a potent social satire. Not since 2006's Idiocracy has our culture of lazy disposable consumerism been so effectively lambasted. Pixar had something to say, and the critical community noticed. There was some consensus that in a field of Best Picture nominees Slumdog Millionaire, The Reader, Milk, Frost/Nixon, and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button; Wall-E would have held its own.

Up (2009): Although some were turned off by the whimsy and accused the story of being haphazard, I think even the biggest critics of Up would be hard-pressed to deny the power and maturity of the way Up tells the initial part of its story of Carl and Ellie. I've personally seen this film close to a dozen times, and that now-infamous montage still gets me choked up. What if you tied a bunch of balloons to your house? What if you found an exotic bird in a strange land? What if your childhood hero turned out to be your enemy? These are all more progressive "what ifs" that Pixar presents us, but they pale to the central "what if" of Up that literally keeps me up at night: what if you spent your entire life without accomplishing the one thing you wanted to with the only person that mattered to you before they slipped away? Up would have been a worthy competitor for Best Picture even in a field of five, my friends.

Toy Story 3 (2010): I've purposely kept from reading reviews as I don't want to go into Toy Story 3 with any expectations beyond the simple plot I already know. Andy is grown up, and about to leave for college. While I'm not sure what the thematic elements may end up being beyond the usual, that basic premise is a beautiful metaphor to how far Pixar, as a studio, has come.

Pixar is growing up, and they know they have to put childish things aside. Making simple statements about friendship or the importance of being true to yourself simply won't cut it any more.

I'm certain that even if the themes they explore continue to mature, Pixar will never abandon the child-like playfulness for which we've always known them. Enjoy Toy Story 3 this weekend, folks. I think you won't have much of a choice.

MARMADUKE: FUN FOR YOUR FAMILY

2010-06-08T15:15:00.003-05:00

Editor's note: I simply refused to see the big-screen adaptation of Brad Anderson's surreal and humorless comic strip Marmaduke. Instead, I hired my 9-year-old neighbor Spencer to see and review the movie for me, in exchange for ticket fare and five dollars in small change. His unedited words are below. Enjoy.

WELL I WAS EXCITED WHEN JOE TOLD ME HE'D GIVE ME SOME MONEY TO GO SEE THE NEW MARMADUKE MOVIE BECAUSE I LIKE FUNNY MOVIES AND DOGS AND I COULD TELL FROM THE POSTER THAT THIS MOVIE WOULD PUT THOSE TWO THINGS TOGETHER.

MARMADUKE IS ABOUT A BIG DOG NAMED MARMADUKE THAT CAUSES TROUBLE FOR HIS OWNER NAMED PHIL BUT THE REST OF THE FAMILY DOESN'T SEEMED BOTHERED BY MARMADUKE THATS PROBABLY BECAUSE PHIL CARES MORE ABOUT HIS JOB THAN HIS DOG AND IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE PHIL IS A MARKETER FOR A DOG FOOD COMPANY THAT GETS A NEW JOB FOR A BIGGER DOG FOOD COMPANY AND HE HAS TO MOVE HIS FAMILY TO CALIFORNIA FOR THE NEW JOB THEY USED TO LIVE IN KANSAS.

YOU CAN TELL THAT EVEN THOUGH MARMADUKE SOMETIMES IS A TROUBLE MAKER HE IS STILL A GOOD DOG BECAUSE HE TAKES THE YOUNGEST KID FOR WALKS IN THE BEGINNING SO SHE GETS EXERCISE I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT THE YOUNGEST DAUGHTER BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING THE REST OF THE MOVIE.

SOME OF THE SILLY STUFF MARMADUKE DOES IS DIG LOTS OF HOLES IN THE YARD BECAUSE HE WANTS TO FIND CHINA AND RUN OUT OF THE TUB WHEN HE IS GETTING A BATHED. ALSO IN THE BEGINNING HE FARTS IN THE BED WITH PHIL AND HIS WIFE AND IT SMELLS BAD AND I LAUGHED.

SO ANYWAYS PHIL GETS HIS FAMILY READY TO MOVE FROM KANSAS TO CALIFORNIA AND HE PUTS MARMADUKE AND HIS CAT CARLOS IN A CAGE AND GIVES THEM MEATBALLS THAT MAKE THEM SLEEP IN THE PLANE AND MAKES THEM SILLY. CARLOS LOOKS AT HIS PAWS AND SAYS IT'S WEIRD. THERE WAS A MOM SITTING IN FRONT OF ME THAT LAUGHED REALLY HARD AT THAT.

THAT MOM LAUGHED AT SOME OTHER STUFF TOO THAT I DIDN'T GET, LIKE WHEN DOGS ARE SHOWING MARMADUKE THE DIFFERENT GROUPS AT THE DOG PARK AND THERE ARE THE MUSHROOM DOGS AND THEY'RE ACTING WEIRD, OR WHEN A DOG DRINKS TOO MUCH DRAIN PIPE WATER, OR WHEN A DOG IS DRINKING OUT OF THE TOILET AND OTHER DOGS ARE TELLING IT TO CHUG CHUG CHUG. THAT MOM THOUGHT ALL THOSE JOKES WERE FUNNY. SHE WAS DRINKING OUT OF A PAPER BAG WHICH I THOUGHT WAS WEIRD.

SO ANYWAYS THEY GET TO CALIFORNIA AND THERE ARE TWO SONGS ABOUT CALIFORNIA ONE FROM TUPAC AND ONE FROM THE OC SHOW MY MOM DIDN'T LET ME WATCH. THEN MARMADUKE MEETS NEW FRIENDS AT THE DOG PARK MAINLY MAZIE WHO IS A GIRL DOG AND HE DOESN'T FIT IN BECAUSE HE'S BIG. HE GETS A CRUSH ON THIS DOG JEZEBEL BUT SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND BOSCO WHO IS THE ALPHA DOG AND SURFS.

TO BE COOL, MARMADUKE ASKS CARLOS TO PRETEND TO GET BEATEN UP BY MARMADUKE AT THE DOG PARK AND CARLOS AGREES BUT GETS MAD AT MARMADUKE.

SO IN THE MEANTIME PHIL'S NEW JOB ISN'T GOING SO WELL AND HE'S NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO HIS SON WHO DOESN'T WANT TO PLAY SOCCER AND HIS OLDER DAUGHTER THAT WANTS TO MEET BOYS. PHIL NEEDS AN IDEA TO MARKET THE DOG FOOD AND MARMADUKE IS SCARED OF A BEE IN THE CAR AND STARTS BARKING SO PHIL PULLS OVER AND THINKS MARMADUKE WAS BARKING AT SURFERS AND HAS AN IDEA TO MARKET THE DOG FOOD BY HAVING A DOG SURFING CONTEST.

EVEN THOUGH BOSCO IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE BEST SURFER MARMADUKE WINS THE DOG SURFING CONTEST.

MARMADUKE GETS TO BE POPULAR AND HE FORGETS HIS FRIENDS THAT TAUGHT HIM TO PLAY DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION AND TAKES JEZEBEL ON THE DREAM DATE MAZIE TOLD MARMADUKE ABOUT AND MAZIE IS SAD. JOE SAID IT WAS IRONIC JEZEBEL WAS NAMED JEZEBEL BUT SAID I WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHATEVER I THINK ITS A PRETTY NAME FOR A FEMALE DOG.

THEN MARMADUKE HOLDS A PARTY AT HIS HOUSE WHEN PHIL AND THE FAMILY LEAVE FOR THE WEEKEND AND EVERYONE FINDS OUT CARLOS AND MARMADUKE ARE FRIENDS AND THEN NO-ONE LIKES MARMADUKE AGAIN.

THERE WAS A FUNNY PART AT THE PARTY WHERE A DOG WAS ON THE ROOF BY THE POOL AND YELLED OUT I AM A GOLDEN DOG BEFORE JUMPING INTO THE POOL JOE SAID THAT WAS A REFERENCE TO THE MOVIE ALMOST FAMOUS BUT MY MOM WON'T LET ME WATCH THAT BECAUSE SHE SAYS IT GLORIFIES ROCK AND ROLL AND JOURNALISM.

SO ANYWAYS THE HOUSE IS TRASHED FROM THE PARTY AND PHIL IS MAD SO HE PUTS MARMADUKE OUTSIDE IN THE RAIN AND MARMADUKE RUNS A WAY AFTER PUTTING THE SOCCER JERSEY AND DAUGHTER'S CELL PHONE ON THE TABLE FOR PHIL. MAZIE FINDS OUT MARMADUKE RAN AWAY AND GOES LOOKING FOR HIM.

SO THE NEXT DAY PHIL FINDS OUT HE'S BEEN A BAD DAD AND TAKES THE FAMILY LOOKING FOR MARMADUKE EVEN THOUGH HE HAS A BUSINESS MEETING AND MARMADUKE AND MAZIE FALL IN A BURST DRAIN PIPE AND PHIL HAS TO SAVE MARMADUKE FROM THE LA RIVER AND THE VIDEO GETS ON YOUTUBE AND IT SAVES PHIL'S JOB AND MARMADUKE LIKED MAZIE BACK AND THAT WAS THE END.

SO MARMADUKE WAS ABOUT BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF AND LISTENING TO PEOPLE BECAUSE NOBODY LIKES PHONIES. THE MOVIE ENDED GOOD TOO BECAUSE PHIL'S BOSS WONDERS IF THEY CAN MAKE A COMMERCIAL WITH TALKING DOGS BUT PHIL SAYS HE WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT WHICH IS FUNNY BECAUSE THE DOGS TALK THE WHOLE MOVIE THEN THEY WONDER WHAT IF DOGS DANCED AND THEN THE DOGS DANCE AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS COOL BECAUSE I ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE IF DOGS DANCED.

THEN AT THE VERY VERY END THEY END IT WITH A LAUGH BECAUSE MARMADUKE FARTS IN BED AGAIN JOE SAYS THAT VIOLATED THE COMEDY RULE OF THREE WHICH I GUESS IS RIGHT BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE LIKED THREE FART JOKES INSTEAD OF JUST TWO OH WELL THEY CAN DO IT IN THE SEQUEL.

THERE WERE LOTS OF FAMOUS PEOPLE IN THIS MARMADUKE MOVIE OWEN WILSON WAS THE VOICE OF MARMADUKE AND HE WAS IN CARS AND GEORGE LOPEZ WAS THE VOICE OF CARLOS AND HE HAS A SHOW IN TBS BUT MY MOM WON'T LET ME WATCH CABLE AND EMMA STONE WAS THE VOICE OF MAZIE AND SHE WAS IN ZOMBIELAND BUT MY MOM WON'T LET ME WATCH THAT BECAUSE IT GLORIFIES VIOLENCE AND WOODY HARRELSON AND FERGIE WAS THE VOICE OF JEZEBEL AND SHE IS IN THE BLACK EYED PEAS BUT MY MOM WON'T LET ME LISTEN TO THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE TERRIBLE. ALSO LEE PACE AND KEIFER SUTHERLAND AND JUDY GREER AND MCLOVIN AND STEVE COOGAN AND WILLIAM H MACY AND SAM ELLIOTT.

SO ANYWAYS JOE SAID I SHOULD RATE THIS MOVIE ON A SCALE OF ONE TO FIVE SO I GUESS I WOULD RATE IT A FOUR OUT OF FIVE BECAUSE IT WAS FUN AND MADE YOU THINK BUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER IF THERE HAD BEEN THREE FARTS. ITS FUN FOR EVERYONE.

THERE WERE SOME KIDS IN THE BATHROOM AFTER THE MOVIE THAT SAID THEY SAW EVERYTHING COMING AND THE ONLY GOOD PART WAS GEORGE LOPEZ AND I WANTED TO SAY HEY KID IF THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK I DARE YOU TO MAKE A BETTER MOVIE BUT BY THE TIME I THOUGHT OF IT HE HAD ALREADY PEED AND WASHED HIS HANDS AND CHECKED HIS HAIR AND WALKED OUT OF THE BATHROOM OH WELL I GUESS I NOW HAVE SOMETHING SMART TO SAY NEXT TIME I HEAR SOMEONE SAY THAT.

SO ANYWAYS THAT WAS MY REVIEW OF THE MOVIE MARMADUKE AND I LIKED IT AND YOU SHOULD SEE IT IF YOU LIKE TO LAUGH AND YOUR PARENTS WILL TAKE YOU SO I HOPED YOU LIKED READING THIS REVIEW UNTIL NEXT TIME THIS IS SPENCER BYE.

Summer movie previews: action/adventure

2010-05-26T12:10:00.013-05:00

Yes, readers, the summer movie season is already revving up, and if there's anything I like more in the summertime than grilling cholesterol-laden meats, blowing things up, and guaranteeing melanoma later in life, it's a summer blockbuster.

I have yet to read over the summer release schedule, but I'm going to go out on a limb and guess only one of the summer offerings is definitely going to be worth checking out (cough cough THE ABOVE POSTER cough cough). Let's see*.

Robin Hood

RELEASE DATE: in theaters

SYNOPSIS: Gladiator star Russell Crowe and director Ridley Scott team up to remake Gladiator, only this time he's in the woods instead of the Coliseum and armed with a bow and arrow instead a sword and slave labor.

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: As much as I respect the body of work Ridley Scott has amassed over the past few decades, the trailer for Robin Hood didn't inspire a whole lot of confidence. Similarly, the mediocre critical response indicates Robin Hood suffers from the same lack of compelling storytelling that dragged Scott's Kingdom of Heaven down. Pass.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

RELEASE DATE: May 28th

SYNOPSIS: Jake Gyllenhaal possesses a dagger that can take whomever holds it back through time. Ben Kingsley is a bad guy. Alfred Molina once again appears in a film that is likely not worthy of his talent. I'd say the same for Sir Kingsley but he was in The Love Guru. Unforgivable.

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: Movies based off of videogames have a great track record, right? Even though the trailer made one of my nerdier buddies wet his pants with excitement (possibly literally), I'm thinking this will be a pass.

Splice

RELEASE DATE: June 4th

SYNOPSIS: Adrian Brody and Sarah Polley are scientists who blend their own DNA with animal specimens, creating something that looks like an alien from Alien mated with one of the precogs from Minority Report. Hilarity, apparently, does not ensue.

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: I love a good horror movie, but so far the trailer hasn't sold me entirely - the concept isn't terrible but it looks like the execution could go either way. Wait for the reviews unless you're already geeked up.

The A-Team

RELEASE DATE: June 11th

SYNOPSIS: A crack squad of military elite are framed for a crime they didn't commit. It's kind of like a television show most of you are not old enough to remember. Pity.

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: So long as director Jon Carnahan approaches the material with the appropriate level of chagrin, this could be a decent throw-away action flick. Liam Neeson and Bradley Cooper, along with District 9's Sharlto Copley will likely make up for cage fighter Quinton Jackson's lack of dramatic training. If the reviews are decent, might as well check it out. For the record, though, I enjoyed the helicopter snag scene from the trailer a lot more when it was in The Dark Knight.

Jonah Hex

RELEASE DATE: June 18th

SYNOPSIS: The grizzled Old West bounty hunter from DC Comics takes to the big screen.

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: If I hadn't read about this in The AV Club's guide to summer movies, this would have completely passed me by. Despite Josh Brolin in the lead role, likely playing a far grittier version of Llewelyn Moss from No Country For Old Men, I'm going to hold out for critical reception on this one too. Comic book and graphic novel adaptations have a track record only slightly better than videogame adaptations or Dolph Lundgren vehicles.

Twilight: Eclipse

RELEASE DATE: June 30th

SYNOPSIS: Vampires and werewolves and shit.

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: [sigh].

The Last Airbender

RELEASE DATE: July 2nd

SYNOPSIS: A young boy finds he is the key to end a world-wide war. No, his name is not Winston Churchill.

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: I wouldn't hesitate to recommend a film based off of a popular martial arts cartoon to anyone that was a fan, but they key element here is one Mr. M Night Shyamalan, who has defied all logic and extended his career about three films longer than he was entitled. Be very, very wary. Anyone who thinks otherwise, I dare you to defend The Happening.

Predators

RELEASE DATE: July 9th

SYNOPSIS: A reboot/re-imagining of the original pits Adrian Brody, Lawrence Fishburne, and Danny Trejo against some nasty aliens that are scarier than Javier Bardem.

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: Prequels and retellings are a mixed bag. So far as pure action thrills, though, the shot of Brody getting lit up by laser sites at the end of the trailer, not to mention that Robert Rodriguez produced the film, makes me think Predators will be worth a look.

Inception

RELEASE DATE: July 16th

SYNOPSIS: Leonardo DiCaprio steals secrets from people's dreams in the latest offering from Christopher Nolan.

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: Even Christopher Nolan's weakest films (in my opinion, Insomnia and The Prestige) are far more entertaining than the average Hollywood offering. Inception stars Scorcese's go-to man, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Marion Cotillard, and Ken Watanabe, and the film promises to be a mindbender in every sense of the word. We may be looking at not only one of the best movies of the summer, but possibly one of the best of the year.

Salt

RELEASE DATE: July 23rd

SYNOPSIS: Angelina Jolie is not a spy! She may actually be a spy! But she may not be! Who cares, she has sexy black hair!

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: Salt seems like a not-as-clever spin on the Bourne franchise. I suppose it could be a fun flick, though, with Jolie in a badass action role. After all, Wanted was good, right? Wait, what? Wanted kind of blew? Oh. Right.

The Expendables

RELEASE DATE: August 13th

SYNOPSIS: Every action star to grace the silver screen for the past thirty-odd years said, "fuck it, let's all make a movie together."

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: Sylvester Stallone has had quite the interesting decade, especially with his continued pursuance of his Edgar Allen Poe biopic, and The Expendables continues his run of showing a) Stallone still wants to be in movies, and b) he has a sense of humor about himself. This could be ridiculous fun - personally, though, I'm going to wait for the critical consensus.

Scott Pilgrim Versus The World

RELEASE DATE: August 13th

SYNOPSIS: Michael Cera's new girlfriend has seven ex-boyfriends that apparently leaped from the screens of Street Fighter. He has to fight and defeat them even though he'd be more at home trapped in a game of Rock Band than Mortal Kombat.

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: Comic book adaptations are hit and miss at the box office, especially ones that aren't universally known like Batman or The X Men. I would be skeptical of Scott Pilgrim, except it's directed by Edgar Wright. Perhaps you've heard of a few little satires he directed, titled Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz? I'll check it out.

Piranha 3D

RELEASE DATE: August 28th

SYNOPSIS: Joe Dante's 1978 Jaws knockoff gets a reboot, because, dammit, 3D blue cats are fine, but wouldn't we rather see them devoured by swarms of toothy fish?

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: Piranha 3D will likely be this year's Snakes on a Plane. I hope it proves me wrong and actually delivers on the b-horror movie thrills like last year's superbly entertaining Drag Me To Hell.

THESE MOVIES WILL ALL BE THE EXACT FUCKING SAME

TITLES: The Bounty Hunter, Killers, Knight and Day

RELEASE DATES: March 19th, June 4th, June 25th

SYNOPSIS: He's a charming killer! She's kind of awkward! Will love triumph?

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: Did you see Mr. and Mrs. Smith? No need to see it three more times with Gerard Butler, Ashton Kutcher, Tom Cruise, and Jennifer Aniston, Katherine Heigl, and Cameron Diaz, right? That's what I thought.

Coming soon: family flicks that I would be inevitably dragged to this summer if I had children. I have a feeling fatherhood and film snobbery will not make the best bedfellows when fatherhood comes to pass.

*Okay, two: I'll definitely see Scott Pilgrim too.

Summer movie previews: comedies

2010-05-20T22:15:00.000-05:00

The summer movie season is officially upon us, folks. It's been a dry couple of months at the cinema, but thankfully we'll be able to avoid the increasingly nice weather by escaping into the theaters for some decent entertainment.

Since I love a good comedy, and despise a bad one, let's take a look at some titles to check out and others to avoid this summer.

MacGruber

RELEASE DATE: May 21st

SYNOPSIS: Will Forte brings his SNL character, a hapless handyman/adventurer, to the big screen. The always-funny Kristen Wiig costars with Ryan Phillippe and Val Kilmer. Jorma Taccone, best known as the copy-flipping member of The Lonley Island, directs.

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: Hollywood adaptations of SNL skits do not have a great track record, so when I first heard of MacGruber I was skeptical. However, early reviews from SXSW and on RT and Metacritic, combined with several funny trailers, suggest that getting MacGruber out of those perpetually-locked control rooms makes for some good action-comedy. I'm a sucker for Kristen Wiig and can't help but giggle at Forte's boyish naiveté, so I'm hoping MacGruber delivers laughs as big as this sequence of skits wherein MacGruber tries to come to terms with his unapologetic racism.

Sex and the City 2

RELEASE DATE: May 28th

SYNOPSIS: Everyone's favorite alcohol-swilling, shoe-buying, sex-having ladies since Desperate Housewives and Cougartown return for more alcohol, shoes, and sex, this time in Abu Dhabi, which is looking to ban the film from playing within its borders, and wouldn't even allow it to be filmed there - it was shot in Morocco.

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: As you may have guessed from my incorrect timeline of television airings, I'm not a huge Sex and the City guy. If you were into the series, the first film, or have a promising date with someone that is, I guess check it out. I'll probably stay home and watch Swingers instead.

Get Him to the Greek

RELEASE DATE: June 4th

SYNOPSIS: Aldous Snow, the lothario Russell Brand portrayed in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, is hired for a 10 year anniversary show in the Greek Theater in LA. Jonah Hill is dispatched to pick him up and get him there. It's not easy.

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: Look no further than the un-embeddable red-band trailer for proof that this could be one of the best comedies of the year. Definitely worth checking out.

Cyrus

RELEASE DATE: June 18th

SYNOPSIS: John C. Reilly's life is falling apart when ex-wife Catherine Keener gets engaged to Matt Walsh, but he meets single-mother Marissa Tomei and everything seems to be going his way. Except Tomei's son, Jonah Hill (remember him?) is not on board with the new relationship.

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: It's a solid cast of funny actors, and so long as Cyrus doesn't get as shapeless as other Official Sundance Selections have been, it could be a potent dark comedy in the vein of last year's bleak but funny World's Greatest Dad.

Grown Ups

RELEASE DATE: June 25th

SYNOPSIS: Old dudes Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, Kevin James, Chris Rock, and David Spade reunite the old high school basketball team for a weekend of high-jinks and fat guy jokes.

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: There are some very funny grown ups in the cast of this flick. I'd like to think Kevin James is capable of more than 'big dude fall down', but I'm going to go out on a limb and say this isn't the picture to prove it. Also, the voice over guy that does the voice over for the trailer seems to be the guy that does the voice overs for trailers of shitty movies. Pass.

Dinner for Schmucks

RELEASE DATE: July 23rd

SYNOPSIS: Paul Rudd plays the straight man to Steve Carell's goofball. In order to impress the company brass and secure a promotion, Rudd needs to bring a bizarre guest to a dinner for schmucks. Will he instead find true friendship? Something tells me... maybe.

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: Sure, the premise is lacking in originality, but a cast that includes Rudd, Carell, and Zach Galifianakis is promising. Helmer Jay Roach (Meet the Parents) has a good track record too. I hope this turns out like Role Models instead of like I Love You, Man. I'll check it out, but you should wait for the reviews if you're not a fan of either the leading men.

The Other Guys

RELEASE DATE: August 6th

SYNOPSIS: Adam McKay and Will Ferrell team up once again, this time to turn the buddy-cop genre on its head. Mark Wahlberg costars, along with Michael Keaton and Steve Coogan.

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: Adam McKay's pictures are hit and miss for me. While no picture could quite do to the genre what Hot Fuzz accomplished, the trailer for The Other Guys looks promising enough. Might as well mark your calendars.

The Switch

RELEASE DATE: August 20th

SYNOPSIS: Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston are a Harry and Sally, and through a mix up, Bateman accidentally artificially inseminates her. Seven years later, she starts to put it together.

IHYFM RECOMMENDATION: The trailer reads like a sappier version of Knocked Up with a splash of About a Boy. Probably a pass unless the reviews are rock-solid, which, sadly for Bateman, I'm guessing they won't be.

Is there essential summer comedy viewing I left out? Mention it in the comments.

Unless, of course, it's Marmaduke, in which case, just check this out.

An arbitrary achievement!

2010-05-17T20:40:00.001-05:00

As I planned this week's articles (summer movie previews and a quick rundown of stuff I've seen recently), I noticed that with the previous musing on the imminent Battleship disaster, I Hate Your Favorite Movie passed the benchmark of fifty total posts.

I've had a lot of fun these past months, from the inaugural too-lukewarm review of Inglourious Basterds, to the deconstruction of the already-forgotten megahit 2012. I thoroughly enjoyed one half of the Seth Rogen movies I saw in 2009. Some lousy movies made millions, and some great ones were hardly seen. I'm happy a friend found a reflection on Groundhog Day surprisingly poignant, and another one is amused to no end at how much I hate Avatar. We've looked at movies that deliver a visceral message artfully, and movies that artfully avoid saying anything.

You'll see a few changes to the site. I added a blogroll featuring major sites I follow for film news and critiques, as well as some verbal playgrounds of sharp associates of mine. I urge you to bookmark The Junior Varsity, which has been growing steadily and amassing quite the team of pop culture critics, and where I've been honored to have my work syndicated. If you read something you like, feel free to share it with your social networks with the AddThis bar I'll be encoding at the end of all future posts. Think I'm too verbose? Follow me on Twitter (@ihateyourfavmov) for snarkisms and mini-reviews in 140 characters or less.

Throughout this creative undertaking, my passion for film, and its ability to let me reflect on my own life and the world around me, has only grown. I can't say where the next fifty posts will lead, but I'd be honored if you take the journey with me.

Hollywood Is Out Of Ideas: "Battleship"

2010-05-07T09:10:00.002-05:00

I'm sure, if you're as big a fan of movie-pictures as I am, you heard the shocking news that the beloved board game "Battleship" was optioned for the silver screen by Universal.

If you had not heard this news, I encourage you to collect your jaw from the floor and to lie down and raise your legs to avoid suffering a stroke.

"How could this be?" you may ask. The easy answer is that with the name recognition, no matter how awful this film turns out to be, Universal will easily break the $100 million mark in the domestic box office. People will see it because it's something familiar.

Anyone up for a trip to Coupon: The Movie this weekend?

Battleship will be directed by helmer (get it?) Peter Berg, whose credits include Hancock and the superb Friday Night Lights. Although it's already announced that the film adaptation will take self-serious action route, knowing the inner workings of Hollywood as I do, I'm sure there were a few options on the table. Universal, for the record, probably would have been best off leaving all of them there.

ADAPTATION 1

FORMULA: Action-thriller

SYNOPSIS: In these modern times with piracy a rampage on the high seas, a US destroyer is tasked with transporting an elite team of SEALs to turbulent waters so they can unleash hell. When the SEAL team embarks on a mission, though, the destroyer is captured by pirates, and the US Navy is dragged into a deadly game of cat-and-mouse. With nuclear weapons.

WHAT IT'S LIKE: Under Siege.

WHY IT WOULD FAIL: Familiar formula, accidentally racist undertones with Somali pirates, and a woefully miscast Jeffrey Tambor as a high admiral that's too funny to be taken seriously.

ADAPTATION 2

FORMULA: Family adventure/comedy

SYNOPSIS: A naval officer gets more than he bargained for when his ignored but computer-savvy son accidentally hacks into a new computer system that gives him control of the entire US naval fleet. Hilarity ensues!

WHAT IT'S LIKE: A weird combination of The Goonies, The Sandlot, and Kramer Versus Kramer.

WHY IT WOULD FAIL: Two words: Robin. Williams.

ADAPTATION 3

FORMULA: Period drama/adventure

SYNOPSIS: At the height of WWII, an inexperienced lieutenant is forced to take command of an aircraft carrier in the midst of a pivotal battle when all the other commanding officers are killed by a kamikaze pilot.

WHAT IT'S LIKE: Tries to be Band of Brothers, ends up being Pearl Harbor.

WHY IT WOULD FAIL: Over-reliance on CGI and Tobey Maguire's ability to make ridiculous dialogue sound non-ridiculous.

If Battleship's 2012 release date falls on the same weekend as the new Batman pic, we are all going to have some very, very difficult decisions to make.

Specifically, do we see the new Batman in IMAX or not. I vote for IMAX.

Reality Check: Brendan Fraser

2010-04-30T14:38:00.006-05:00

Welcome to Reality Check*, a poorly-named semi-regular feature wherein we'll examine a confusing aspect of a famous person's career. Today, Brendan Fraser. Enjoy.

Brendan Fraser's latest vehicle, Furry Vengeance, is opening this weekend. Judging by the reviews (2% on RT)(yes, that's 0-2-%), the film will not be much of a crowd pleaser.

It seems to be another unfortunate role for Fraser, who has spent most of his career dabbling in teen comedies (see: Encino Man) or family-friendly tripe (see: George of the Jungle).

Fraser is capable of more, though, and it's a shame he hasn't chosen projects that utilize his talent.

What am I talking about, you ask?

Brendan Fraser, I'd like to remind you, dear readers, was one of the best parts of a film from 2004.

The film was Crash. He played Sandra Bullock's distant husband. It won Best Picture.

Brendan Fraser was one of the first-billed actors in a film that won the Academy's highest honor.

Think about that this weekend when you pass the poster for Furry Vengeance on your way to see any other film that's currently out.

*Have a better name for this feature? I beg you: leave it in the comments.

Friday Film Snob Focus: Jennifer Lopez

2010-04-23T13:30:00.002-05:00

If you're anything like me, I'd wager you have no excitement for (or awareness of) the latest Jennifer Lopez vehicle, The Back-up Plan.

How To Sound Like a Film Snob 101 is now in session. Repeat after me, class:

"The only notable Jennifer Lopez movie is Out of Sight."

Selena was a sanitized melodrama carried by Lopez. It's said the only redeeming part of Jersey Girl is that she dies in the first five minutes. If you remember anything about The Cell, it's probably that it put you to sleep.

Enjoy your weekend as I will - seeing Kick Ass again.

"Observe and Report": panned and overlooked

2010-04-20T13:34:00.005-05:00

To know the work of Jody Hill is to drown with his heroes in the deep end of a pool of delusions.

Hill's debut feature, The Foot Fist Way, which famously attracted the attention and backing of Funny Or Die creators Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, follows a small-town tae kwan do instructor played by the then-unknown Danny McBride. Fred Simmons (McBride) tries to be a role model, successful business man, revered husband, and master of ass-kicking, but generally comes up short. He's a sad case to watch as his life falls apart around him, but in the end he's able to salvage some of his dignity, at least in his own eyes, and look himself in the mirror.

Eastbound and Down, Hill's heralded follow-up six-part series on HBO, details the meteoric rise and bombastic self-destruction of major league pitcher Kenny Powers, also played by McBride. The delusions and personal failings of Fred Simmons pale in comparison to those of Powers. The first season finale, which could have been the series finale, packs a seriously dark punch. Will Ferrell's quote from the end of the trailer for the series (which will start shooting its second season next month) says it all.

Eastbound & Down Trailer - watch more funny videos

Both protagonists are completely lost in their delusions of grandeur, except for a few scant moments of self-actualization that are almost immediately tossed aside. Hill uses the awkward and depressing results as his comedic brush strokes. The satire he creates is potentially off-putting at first, but if viewers can get used to his style, Hill's work is at once hysterical and poignant as viewers will undoubtedly be able to see a little bit of themselves in both Simmons and Powers.

Jody Hill's first major studio film, Observe and Report, had an unfortunate release date - a scant three months after the Kevin James as-a-Segway-riding-mall-cop vehicle, Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

Audiences thought they'd already seen this one-note joke and passed. Critics were, generally, turned off by the viciously dark comedic beats. The film was out of wide release in three weeks, and entirely out of theaters in eight. It grossed a little over $20 million at the domestic box office, quite the paltry return for a film starring Seth Rogen and Ray Liotta that opened on almost 3,000 screens.

What was missed by most moviegoers is a comedy that is as bipolar as its lead character; at once both troublesomely dark and wildly hysterical. I haven't been able to shake it from my mind since first seeing it last December.

Observe and Report follows Ronnie Barnhardt (Rogen), who takes his job as the head of mall security with same degree of seriousness you'd expect from a Secret Service agent. When a flasher begins terrorizing the mall parking lot, Ronnie is ready to rise to the occasion and prove that he is the only person alive capable of bringing the culprit to justice, as well as protecting the only thing worth protecting in the mall, a cold sassy bitch of a makeup counter clerk, Brandi (the always-fabulous Anna Faris).

Barnhardt is deadly serious about catching the flasher, as well as a serial thief, but is as hampered by his self-delusions of prowess as he is by his hapless team, led by Ronnie's partner in crime, Dennis (Michael Pena). His efforts to bring the streaker and robber to justice only impede the actual police investigations being conducted by Detective Harrison (Ray Liotta), and Ronnie convinces himself that he has what it takes to join the big leagues of law enforcement.

Our hero is bipolar - he swings easily between dejected melancholy and explosive violence. Hill easily manipulates this growing tension to his advantage throughout the film to steadily raise the stakes as Ronnie grows more intent on success and more likely to screw up his chances for reaching it. The balancing act that Hill struggles with, though, is balancing the tension and the comedy. It's a lot to ask of his viewers, especially the ones that weren't prepared for the wild emotional pendulum, but for those able to stomach it, Observe and Report delivers some potent laughs.

Take, for example, Faris' second scene of the film, wherein she's traumatized by the streaker. This is perhaps my favorite 40-odd seconds of her career.

Hill is able to create comedy from a situation that you won't find in many films proclaiming to be a comedy.

Likewise, Observe and Report finds humor in painfully awkward situations that Ricky Gervais made mainstream with The Office. Another gem is when Barnhardt ineptly gets dating advice from a girl that is clearly into him (Collette Wolfe).

In all editorial fairness, I should point out part of why I love that scene is I've been this dense more than once in my life.

The humor can be cruel*, but also earnest, which is what makes Observe and Report palatable. Ronnie often does not make good decisions, but for all his faults his heart is more or less in the right place. He represents a darker side of all of us - doomed to be inept, deluded, and not as successful as we imagine we could be, but in the end, Ronnie still wins in his own way.

If you're serious about comedies and contemporary film, I would agree with the AV Talk assertion that although it's imperfect, Observe and Report is required viewing from 2009.

TOO MUCH: Penis. Maybe.

COULD HAVE USED MORE: Bit roles from established comedians; Patton Oswalt, Aziz Ansari, and Dan Bakkedahl all had almost-too-short roles.

FILM SNOB NOTE: Try to find a review of Observe and Report that doesn't mention Taxi Driver. Jody Hill collaborators Ben Best and Danny McBride both enjoy bit roles. A talent for montage that is hinted at in Eastbound and Down is on full display - the two 'training' montages are among the film's highlights. Hill often ends scenes with strong musical underscore abruptly - it could have been interpreted as sloppy filmmaking in The Foot Fist Way, but here it's clear that Hill uses this technique intentionally to jar the viewer. It works. The opening montage to a cover of "When I Paint My Masterpiece" is reminiscent of the line from Man on Fire, "Creasy's art is death - he's about to paint his masterpiece," which is eerily prophetic. I mentioned the "date-rape" scene in my roundup of films from 2009: although certainly unsettling, it's not quite as awful as the minor media uproar made it out to be. It's brief, and it's made clear that Brandi is a willing participant in the proceedings both at the bar and in the bedroom.

IHYFM RATING: FOUR AND A HALF out of FIVE MEHS. Although it's unnecessarily uneven at times, and Ronnie is hard to root for, it's a fascinating character study. A superb cast supports Seth Rogen, who gives the most interesting performance of his mainstream career. It's disturbing, but my oh my, is it funny.

IF YOU SAID THIS WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE, I'D THINK: I will try to stay in your good graces so I don't risk a skateboard to the skull.

*The best example of this: when he asks his alcoholic mother if he's the reason his father left, Ronnie's mom (Celia Weston) stares at her son, and says: "Definitely."

Monday Mini-Post: what's filming at The Bean?

2010-04-12T11:52:00.002-05:00

Chicago's monument to... expensive shining things.

Welcome to Monday Mini-Posts, a new semi-regular feature that will run when I have a short anecdote, observation, or opinion to share that is too long for Twitter (@ihateyourfavmov) and it happens to be a Monday after a week wherein I was too busy to post a review. Enjoy!

I happened to be in downtown Chicago this past Friday afternoon, and as it was a warm and picturesque day I decided to take a walk through Millennium Park before heading out of the Loop.

As I headed north past Scary Faces Spitting Water Fountain (called the Crown Fountain), I saw a sizable crowd gathering by The Bean. The Bean, actually named Cloud Gate, which makes sense inasmuch it looks like a cloud of liquid mercury trying to devour tourists and financial analysts, has been a recognizable Chicago landmark since it was birthed onto the AT&T Plaza in 2006.

On this Friday afternoon, The Bean was roped off, and several sandwich boards proclaimed that a Motion Picture was Filming, and that by Being Present all civilians were giving their Consent to have their Faces and Voices used in the Film.

I am a film guy. I've shot some movies in my day, so obviously I wandered by to see what was being made. The latest Jennifer Aniston rom com? The third Christopher Nolan Batman pic? A commercial for laxatives?

Once I reached the top of the plaza, all I saw was a bunch of equipment strewn about and a crew of three guys lazily pushing a camera cart around The Bean. It was quickly obvious I wasn't going to catch a glimpse of John Larroquette or Vince Vaughn, so I tightened the strap of my hipster-douchebag messenger bag and began to wander towards the train.

I passed by a group of girls overwhelmed by the possibility of seeing a star in action. What could this movie be? they asked. Can you see anyone famous? they queried. Seeing a chance to be a wiseass, I made my move.

Do you know what's filming here? they asked me as I passed especially close to their huddling.

Why, it's Pirates of the Caribbean 4! I casually replied.

Yours truly must have one hell of a deadpan.

They scampered off, looking for Johnny Depp.

I wish I was joking.

You've been [April] fooled: some flicks with twists

2010-04-01T07:10:00.004-05:00

The spaghetti harvest is coming in early this year!

I have grown to hate M. Night Shyamalan over the years. This is mostly due to a widely-respected rule within my circle of friends that the mention of his name stipulates you must finish half of your beverage (because most of his recent movies are half-assed); the mention of Spielberg, on the other hand, you finish your drink (in honor of the guy that brought us Jaws, not so much 1941 or War of the Worlds). Aside from that, though, Shyamalan's career has been built on "the twist ending", even though he's shied away from that in favor of the boring (Lady in the Water) or ridiculous (The Happening) as of late. A good twist can make a movie, like The Sixth Sense, or destroy it, like The Village. When wielded without purpose, the twist is a terrible thing, hence, my growing hate for Shyamalan (drink!) as he's proved it's one of the only tricks in his bag.

A well-planned surprise ending, though, can be a great cinematic treat. With no further ado, some movies (with spoilers) that could, or at least try to, make you believe Taco Bell bought the Liberty Bell.

The Usual Suspects

SYNOPSIS: Bryan Singer's directorial splash follows a grizzled Customs agent (Chazz Palminteri) trying to piece together what happened at a disastrous drug deal where there weren't any drugs. The last man standing (Kevin Spacey) is apparently too stupid to see through his fallen compatriots' bullshit.

YOU'VE BEEN FOOLED: After convincing you it was actually the former crooked cop (Gabriel Byrne), Singer shows us we've been played by a rather clever and not-at-all-crippled Spacey, who is elusive criminal mastermind Keyser Soze.

SIDE NOTES: This was basically the only decent movie Stephen Baldwin was ever a part of - he followed this up with Bio Dome. Comedian Kevin Pollack made one of his occasional forays into the world of drama, and Benicio Del Toro helped kick-start his career with his barely-comprehensible accent. The first time I saw this, around the time I was 15, I pegged Spacey in the first ten minutes because Singer tried so hard to prove he wasn't the guy (the limp, the line about his pee, the cigarette lighter) in the first few scenes of the movie, but he did convince me it was Byrne in the end.

QUALITY OF THE FOOL: Damn good - it's a modern classic for a reason.

The Maltese Falcon

SYNOPSIS: Humphrey Bogart plays detective Sam Spade, a private eye that gets wrapped up in the quest for a priceless statue in John Huston's 1941 classic.

YOU'VE BEEN FOOLED: The statue is a fake - all was for naught.

SIDE NOTES: The film is chock-full of those classic Hollywood lines that make writers such as yours truly wet their pants. At the end, when a cop asks Spade what the worthless statue is, he wryly replies in that heavenly Bogart rasp, "The stuff dreams are made of."

QUALITY OF THE FOOL: In all fairness, it's not so much a twist as an ironic ending, but a fine one at that. It's the quintessential Bogart hard-boiled detective flick.

Primal Fear

SYNOPSIS: A defense attorney (Richard Gere) defends an altar boy (Ed Norton) who killed an archbishop after being sexually abused.

YOU'VE BEEN FOOLED: Norton claims to have split personalities, the dominant one committed the act, and he walks. But he was faking having split personalities!

SIDE NOTES: This flick was the one to put Norton on the map - his performance is pretty good.

QUALITY OF THE FOOL: So-so. The split personalities, when revealed, is a shocker, and the bigger reveal that he's faking is a big one too - the problem I have with it is it basically makes the movie, thematically, about nothing. It feels like a twist for the sake of having a twist (see: The Village).

The Village

SYNOPSIS: There's monsters in the woods! Ron Howard's daughter is blind! Lots of long takes from stationary cameras!

YOU'VE BEEN FOOLED: Not only are the monsters a rouse made by the town elders, it's modern fucking day.

SIDE NOTES: M. Night Shyamalan cameos as a park ranger, which after this flick I'd rather see him do than direct more movies.

QUALITY OF THE FOOL: Seriously - this movie had so much potential. The twist was beyond frustrating for me, because it negates everything inherently interesting about the world we thought we were seeing. It's pathetically self-serving, tacky, and not at all surprising that it marked Shyamalan's fall from revered director to cinematic punchline.

Gone Baby Gone

SYNOPSIS: Casey Affleck is a private eye in the rough part of Boston looking for a missing girl, and the local police aren't too keen on his getting involved.

YOU'VE BEEN FOOLED: Not only are the cops in on everything, but Ben Affleck proves to be a very effective director.

SIDE NOTES: Did you know that Casey Affleck and Ben Affleck are brothers? It's true!

QUALITY OF THE FOOL: Pretty good. The movie is engaging and the final twist is so bizarre I didn't see it coming. A lot of people let this one slip by in 2007, but it's definitely worth a look.

OTHER TWISTS OF NOTE:

- The Informant!, the true story of the biggest corporate whistle-blower in US history, has a delightfully unreliable narrator.

- Matchstick Men, one of the only good movies Nic Cage did in the past decade (the other was Adaptation), follows an OCD conman getting conned.

- "Reno 911!" had two great cliffhangers in its run: the first season finale, where everyone inadvertently shoots each other, turns out to be a dream Garcia is having about Kenny Rogers; the season five finale, wherein unnamed deputies die in an accident involving a 9/11 float and a taco stand, is glossed over almost entirely the following season opener.

- Chinatown, a seedy detective flick where Jack Nicholson puts on his Humphrey Bogart hat, was completely ruined for me by the worst film professor I ever had.

- Twelve Monkeys, the stranger sci-fi adventure Bruce Willis did in the 90's, has a lot to do with time travel and Brad Pitt.

- Lady In The Water, because you paid $10 to see a terrible Shyamalan movie that doesn't have a twist.

Also, if you want some more movies ruined for you, check out last year's "100 Movie Spoilers In 5 Minutes" made by the fine Fine Brothers.

What's your favorite twist I didn't mention? Leave it in the comments or tweet it to @ihateyourfavmov.

"Hot Tub Time Machine": it delivers exactly what it promises

2010-03-29T15:41:00.004-05:00

There was a hot tub.

...it was a time machine.

TOO MUCH: Jism jokes.

COULD HAVE USED MORE: Chevy Chase, explanation of the bear costume guy, Thomas Lennon, a reference to Karate Kid involving the words "body bag," "get him," and "yeah."

FILM SNOB NOTE: Scene-stealer Crispin Glover was in a movie about time travel! John Cusack did a movie where he sat on a counter with a girl! Clark Duke is kind of a tub himself!

IHYFM RATING: THREE AND A HALF out of FIVE MEHS. It delivers what it promises, there's some great laughs throughout, especially throw-away lines underscoring the ridiculousness of the premise and the time-travel logic. It loses a little steam in the third act though, and for every clever bit to be found there's a few obvious dick/poop jokes. You know me. I like my dick/poop jokes high-minded. If you liked the trailer (which I did), you'll enjoy the movie (which I did).

IF YOU SAID THIS WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE, I'D THINK: I'll go skiing with you, but please don't make any sports bets that involve my johnson.

Friday Film Snob Focus: Craig Robinson

2010-03-24T20:36:00.010-05:00

There is little I love more in comedy than a quality deadpan.

For years, one of the go-to men in Hollywood for that special moment of awkward, frank silence needed for the absurdity of a situation to really sink in has been Craig Robinson, one of the stars of Hot Tub Time Machine opening today.

What does a quality deadpan look like, you ask? It looks like Craig Robinson breaking the fourth wall after he drops the titular line of the movie in its own trailer.

Robinson, a Chicago native, cut his teeth at Second City before touring with Def Comedy Jam.

I first saw him in TV's "Arrested Development" as a security guard up for the same role as Tobias (the role was for a confidence man - knowing he was up against the security guard gave Tobias some needed confidence).

Robinson's major break came when the American adaptation of "The Office" was picked up for a second season. Robinson's Darryl, the no-nonsense warehouse manager that had a decent share of screen time in the first season, had even more time to try to ignore and deflate the absurd pursuits of Steve Carell's Michael Scott.

What makes Robinson so much fun to watch in "The Office" is the way he telegraphs his seeing the whole picture, how small the players are, and how ultimately insignificant the problem at hand really is. He's the quintessential straight talker, which makes for great comedy when Carell is co-opting the warehouse for a men's afternoon or in desperate need of relationship advice.

Can't put a finger on what I'm describing? Think about Robinson's cameo in Knocked Up as the self-actualized bouncer:

"I know... you're right. I'm so sorry, I fuckin' hate this job. I don't want to be the one to pass judgement, decide who gets in. Shit makes me sick to my stomach. I get runs from the stress. It's not 'cause you're not hot, I would love to tap that ass. I would tear that ass up. I can't let you in 'cause you're old as fuck. For this club, you know, not for the earth. ...You old, she pregnant. Can't have a bunch of old pregnant bitches running around, that's crazy. I'm only allowed to let in five percent black people. He said that. That means if there's twenty-five people here I get to let in one and a quarter black people. So I gotta hope there's a black midget in the crowd."

If you've seen the movie, or have a passing familiarity with Robinson, I'll bet you couldn't help but read that passage in his deep almost-monotone cadence.

It's that cadence and straight face that make him so much fun to watch, whether he's realizing he's dealing with a hot tub time machine in Hot Tub Time Machine, introducing an adult performer aptly named Bubbles in Zach and Miri Make A Porno, or as the newest occupant of a corner office in "The Office".

I suppose that's why I get giddy every time Robinson pops into something when I haven't expected him - because on some level he's going to let you in on his perspective of what is really going on.

I'll leave you with a clip from his days touring with Def Comedy Jam. By the way, before he was a successful comedian, he was a music teacher. Don't worry. He's not one of those types of comics that beats you over the head with musical talent.

Hot Tub Time Machine opens today - and judging from the Metacritic rating, it's worth the trip if the trailer was your cup of tea.

Places you may have seen Craig Robinson dead pan:

- "Arrested Development" as a security guard in the episode "Switch Hitter"

- Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story as Bobby Shad, the lounge performer who's thunder gets stolen by Dewey

- Zach and Miri Make a Porno as Delaney, the executive producer/financier

- "Eastbound and Down" as Reg Mackworthy, the hitter to end Kenny Powers' career

- "Reno 911!" as Levon French, a local commercial producer in the vein of the real-life Sammy Stephens, in the season six episode "Deputy Dance"

- Pineapple Express as Matheson, the thug with feelings who can hear everything you're saying