I Love Devotionals by Wendy van Eyck

A small change

2018-01-11T05:59:00.000+02:00

When I started this blog I wanted to do three things with it:

- Have an outlet to practice writing,
- Get published, and
- Remind you that Jesus is with us in every hard thing.

In the 5 years since I started this blog my life has changed. The media landscape has changed. The life I imagined for myself has changed.

Last month after another scan our oncologist told us there is only a 2% chance of Xylon’s cancer recurring. Thank you, Jesus! It feels like a new start for us.

There were so many other new starts for me since I started blogging here. I’ve changed jobs twice. Last year, I left full-time employment to start an agency providing communications services to nonprofits.

I’ve moved towns, renovated a home, taken on two dogs, run 7 half marathons.

Some of the changes and new starts I’ve shared here and some I haven’t felt fitted the confines of writing devotionals. I haven’t known where to put that stuff. Slowly I’ve pivoted my twitter and LinkedIn profiles to share my broader interests but I’ve left Facebook and this blog with a narrow focus.

More and more I find the things that God is putting in my heart are about living mercy and justice and walking humbly with him (Micah 6:8). And as a Christian, and a white South African, I’m finding that means more and more speaking up about racism, prejudice, and inequality. Even when those conversations are hard and uncomfortable and messy. Maybe especially then.

These are topics are only things that challenge me personally and the wider Christian church but they are also the things the nonprofits I work with care deeply about.

I try to live a life where the values I learned from Jesus aren’t separated from my everyday or work life but the more I think about it on this blog and my Facebook page I’ve many times kept the every day out of the spiritual. For almost two years now, I have struggled with what to do here on the blog and on Facebook and at the end of last year, I felt like maybe it is time to do a small pivot.

What does this mean for you?
On the blog
I will still be writing and sharing here. I’m setting a goal to share a devotional or prayer here once a month. I know my posts have been infrequent and I will try to improve on that. From time to time, I might share guest posts or books I’ve been reading. If you are a current subscriber to this blog you will only receive posts I share on ilovedevotionals. If you don’t want to miss a post, you can subscribe here.

On Facebook
It means that I’ll be sharing more broadly on my Facebook page so if you follow me you’ll see posts about devotionals that I’ve written for this page but you will also see links to posts I write for ibelieve, quotes or bible verses that encourage me. You will also see me sharing posts I write on how to grow a nonprofit cause or fundraiser. Then from time to time, I’ll share interesting articles or videos that I find online and I think add value to discussions about racism, prejudice, and inequality. If you aren't following me on Facebook you can like my page here.

Thank you for joining me over the years as I’ve shared my journey of walking with Jesus. I hope as I walk this new path that we can continue to go together.

Do I have what it takes? A devotional for your first day at a new job

2017-10-30T11:06:00.000+02:00

**I wrote this on 1 June 2017. For some reason, I didn’t post it then. I found it now, and thought maybe it’ll give some of you who might be beginning something in November, the courage to believe that you have what it takes!**

It’s my first day at my new job, my new business really. It’s a month since I left full-time employment to pursue the life that I want.

I just told Xylon there are butterflies in my stomach and I am so nervous for my first day at work, I mean in my own business.

And there is one question that keeps coming to the front of my mind, “Do I have what it takes?”

To be my own boss.

To find clients.

To keep clients happy.

To make enough to cover the bills.

I sit googling Bible verses about having what it takes.

The first one that comes up, 1 Chronicles 28:20:

David also said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you…

I’m taking the verse out of context. I might not be building a temple to God like Solomon but I need David reminding me to “do the work...God is with you.”

So I stop googling and I print the verse out. I resist the temptation to make a pretty design with it. There is work to do. I print it and paste it on the edge of my computer screen. Later, I find a highlighter and I stretch green over the words I need to be reminded of.

Today, this promise will remind me that I have what it takes, not in my strength but because God is with me.

Today, this promise will be enough.

Prayer: Thank you, that you are with me today, and every day. When I feel like I don’t have what it takes remind me to be strong and courageous and do the work you’ve given me.

If you're wondering what I'm doing now, head over to solofundraiser.com

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*****

Want to create the life of your dreams? Ask yourself these 4 questions to determine how to move forward in any season

2017-10-23T11:25:00.001+02:00

Renee Fisher is one of the first people I connected with online. Her friendship has been a great source of encouragement. I've followed her ups and downs and seen how through it all she never stops dreaming or helping others achieve their dreams. She launched her tenth book, Unløved, a short but powerful eBook that empowers women to find freedom by embracing their inner critic last week. You can purchase it on Amazon for $2.99 here. I asked her if she'd mind me sharing a short expert and she kindly agreed. I hope you are encouraged by it.

*****

Seasons change. I never realized the spiritual significance of the changing of seasons until I learned how to cultivate a life of my dreams.

Jesus is quoted twice in the Gospels talking about spiritual seasons in Matthew 16:2-3 (NIV) and Luke 12:54-56 (NIV):

He replied, “When evening comes, you say, ‘It will be fair weather, for the sky is red,’ and in the morning, ‘Today it will be stormy, for the sky is red and overcast.’ You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times”. He said to the crowd: “When you see a cloud rising in the west, immediately you say, ‘It’s going to rain,’ and it does. And when the south wind blows, you say, ‘It’s going to be hot,’ and it is. Hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of the earth and the sky. How is it that you don’t know how to interpret this present time?”

It doesn’t take much effort to walk outside and determine if it’s going to rain that day. It does, however, take time to learn how to pray and read the Word to determine which spiritual season you are in.

Your ability to praise the Lord despite your circumstances or unmet desires has the power to awaken your dreams, including the dreams of future generations.

Dreams, like seasons, change often.

If you are unsure how to cultivate a life of your dreams, ask yourself these four questions to determine how to move forward.

1. Summer: My dreams are ripe. Even in the heat of summer, we can relax and take a much-needed vacation. We can taste and see that the Lord is good (see: Psalm 34:8).

2. Fall: My dreams are harvested. We can mature and save up for the winter season knowing that we are rooted and grounded in love (see: Ephesians 3:17). We can choose not to be moved away from the hope of the gospel (see: Colossians 1:23).

3. Winter: My dreams are not dead. Winter brings a much-needed break, although it might feel like coming to a screeching halt. We may feel uncomfortable with the process of solitude and silence, but it will help us uncover what’s in our hearts. To admit, like Elijah, the answer to the question, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (see: 1 Kings 19:9, 13).

4. Spring: My dreams are newly planted. We may not understand, at first, that the storms and rain are actually a blessing to drive that tiny seed deeper and further under the soil to die so that it can come back to life. We can plant in tears knowing we will harvest with shouts of joy in a future season (see: Psalm 126:5).

Spiritual seasons can be tricky. It took me almost an entire year to realize I was in a winter season last year in Houston and to acknowledge that my dreams were not dead—just waiting for spring.

Now in Austin, I thought that my dreams were coming back to life, only to have a mound of dirt piled on top of me so these baby dreams can grow for a later harvest in a future season. It’s so complicated that I sometimes feel like giving up. Will my desires ever be met? But, if I’m honestly asking myself that question—I already know the answer. Of course they will! God has been faithful before and He will again.

I don’t know what season you are in or how freeing or frustrating it may feel. But don’t quit! Don’t run away! You can bloom where you’re planted.

“There will always be flowers for those who want to see them.” There will always be dreams for those who want to live them.

*****

If you'd like to read more of Renee Fisher's work buy Unløved now for $2.99 or visit her website reneefisher.com to find out how she can help you call your dreams to life.

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Affiliate links used in this post. (Which basically means if you click through to Amazon from this post and buy something I'll get a small percentage of the purchase).

What I did when I felt like my life wasn't enough

2017-09-29T06:00:00.000+02:00

In April, I quit my job. In May, I quit using social media apps on my phone.

I didn’t expect the anxiety deleting my social media apps would cause.

I wrote about my journey to what I call now digital minimalism on iBelieve.com this week. I want to share something here about it that I didn’t share in the post on iBelieve.

I loved going on Instagram before I deleted the social media apps. If you’d asked, I would have told you it was my favourite social app. I found the pictures soothing and enjoyed quick glimpses into my friends and families lives.

After deleting the apps, I’d go on Instagram from time to time and scroll through the pics. I started to recognise a feeling I hadn’t expected each time I opened it: discontent.

I’d scroll through a few pictures and feel so discontent with my life. I’d see pictures of people travelling and wish it could be me. I’d look at friends spending time together and wonder why I wasn’t there. Photos of meals I’d love to eat, pictures of places I’d love to run through…The list was endless.

I would close the app and sit there feeling like my life isn’t enough.

I didn’t like feeling that way. One day after opening and quickly closing the app after the bubbles of discontent floated up I sat and thought about what was happening. Was I really discontent with my life? Were these feelings real or were they a reaction to using the app?

I thought about how I felt before I went on Instagram.

I felt like I had the best life.

I loved my life.

It felt full.

My life felt enough.

I felt content with my life.

I go on Instagram less and less. Before I quit using social apps on my phone, it was a couple of times a day. After, it was once a week, then once a fortnight and now I can’t remember the last time I went on.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few months. And I keep coming back to this verse Psalm 16:11 (Voice),

Instead, You direct me on the path that leads to a beautiful life. As I walk with You, the pleasures are never-ending, and I know true joy and contentment.

Part of me has wondered if choosing to stay off Instagram is the coward’s way of learning to be content in every situation.

This verse helped me realise that we can choose contentment. That is what the “Instead” signifies to me. “Instead” means to do something in preference of something else. It means I can choose going outside over going online.

Instead, has become a powerful word for me as I pursue digital minimalism in my life.

I could feel discontentinsteadI thank God for everything he has given me.

I could feel aloneinstead I remember God is Emmanuel (God with us).

I could feel worriedinsteadI look at the Sparrows and wonder at how God takes care of them and me.

I chose this translation of Psalm 16:11 because it reminds me that when I choose to look to God instead of dwelling on my feelings, my actions lead me toward a beautiful life of true contentment.

Some translations write this verse as “In your presence is fullness of joy”. Isn’t that a great description of contentment?

Want to read more of my story about what happened when I deleted all the social media apps from my phone? Click here to read the full story on iBelieve.com

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{You might also like these posts}

When everyone else seems to have a better life than you, read this

How to make peace with the ordinary in your extraordinary life

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In my free e-book Life, Life and More Life I share thoughts on how to make every moment count gleaned from my experiences of loving my husband through 18 sessions of chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant. If you would like a free copy please subscribe below to receive my devotionals.

Photo Credits (Creative Commons): Unsplash.com | Design: Wendy van Eyck

When you have to tell everyone what God has done (Hint: It's a quick update on Xylon's health)

2017-09-18T12:05:00.000+02:00

But the closer I am to You, my God, the better because life with You is good. O Lord, the Eternal, You keep me safe— I will tell everyone what You have done. Psalm 73:28

Xylon and I have grown so tired of hearing, “It looks like the cancer is back.”

It happens like clockwork every time Xylon has a PET scan. This year was no different.

He flew to Johannesburg for the scan in July. If called me from the airport with the results in his hand and fear in his voice, “I never should have opened them. They say it looks like the cancer is back.”

Usually, fear takes route in my stomach wrestling with my intestines. This time it didn’t. This time I replied to Xylon immediately, “I don’t think it is. The doctors who wrote that report are only looking at a tiny part of the picture. They are looking at one scan. If you look at the big picture, you are healthy.”

A week later, we sat in the oncologist’s room while we planned out the next steps. An operation to remove the lymph nodes that had grown followed by a biopsy.

We scheduled the operation for the middle of August. After Xylon would have completed his big cycling goal for the year: a 230 km mountain bike race.

With his muscles still tender after the race, I kissed Xylon and watched the porters wheel Xylon into surgery. I still felt peace. Usually, by this stage of the process, I am in knots and wondering what will happen to us if the cancer is back for the fourth time.

The surgery went well and the surgeon tells us he should have the results in about a week. We’re both still calm. Our mustard seed faith is still carrying us through.

The afternoon, before we are meeting the surgeon for the results, the phone rings while Xylon’s in the shower. I answer it. It is the oncologist’s rooms. They ask if we have the results of the biopsy. This time fear makes my stomach drop as I say, “Not yet.”

The nursing sister asks if I’d like her to share the results with me.

I have a split second debate about whether I should wait for Xylon to get out the shower and then think, ‘Let’s just get this over.’ I reply, “Yes, please.”

She says, “It’s not cancer. The doctor’s very happy.”

I’m sure she said something else but I didn’t hear it. I say goodbye and run through to the bathroom.

I scream at Xylon who is still showering, “It’s not cancer!”

Later, we go out to celebrate at Xylon’s favourite restaurant.

We celebrate because we know that life is a gift, and growing old is a privilege not everyone has.

We celebrate because we’re so thankful that God has healed Xylon. We don’t know why he healed him when others cries for healing go unanswered. We wrestle with that a lot.

My mom sent me Psalm 73 shortly after Xylon opened the scans in the airport. It helps me with some of the why doesn't God heal everyone questions I have, and I hope it will encourage you (I’ve included parts of it below, you can read the entire Psalm here):

Truly God is good to His people, Israel, to those with pure hearts.
Though I know this is true, I almost lost my footing; yes, my steps were on slippery ground.
You see, there was a time when I envied arrogant men and thought, “The wicked look pretty happy to me.”

For they seem to live carefree lives, free of suffering; their bodies are strong and healthy. They don’t know trouble as we do; they are not plagued with problems as the rest of us are.

But look at this: You are still holding my right hand; You have been all along.

Even though I was angry and hard-hearted, You gave me good advice; when it’s all over, You will receive me into Your glory.

For all my wanting, I don’t have anyone but You in heaven. There is nothing on earth that I desire other than You. I admit how broken I am in body and spirit, but God is my strength, and He will be mine forever.

But the closer I am to You, my God, the better because life with You is good. O Lord, the Eternal, You keep me safe— I will tell everyone what You have done.

I know so many of you follow this blog, and Xylon's story, and have prayed for us, so I wanted to tell everyone what God has done (again).

I hope that it will encourage some of you who are also living through impossible situations that God is still able.

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{You might also like these posts}

Do you need faith for God to heal? (This women didn't think so and she got healed)

Why I know God is real (Xylon writes his own health update)
When your season of healing is longer and more painful then you ever imagined

{Get my book - for free!}

In my free e-book Life, Life and More Life I share thoughts on how to make every moment count gleaned from my experiences of loving my husband through 18 sessions of chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant. If you would like a free copy please subscribe below to receive my devotionals.

Photo Credits (Creative Commons): Unsplash.com | Design: Wendy van Eyck

Dear people of colour in South Africa

2017-08-14T09:27:00.000+02:00

Dear people of colour in South Africa

I am sorry. I should have tried harder. For years I have hidden behind, “I was too young to be part of apartheid. I shouldn’t have to pay for the sins of others. I didn’t do anything wrong. How could I? I was 9 years old when apartheid ended.”

For years, I have failed to recognise how I have received privileges just for being white in this country and that my advantage came at your disadvantage.

I believed I lived in a country where colour didn’t matter. But I failed you, my fellow citizens of colour, I failed you because I didn’t see I only had the luxury of believing that lie because I was white.

Of course, colour matters.

Every single day something happens to remind you how colour matters. I apologise for allowing my naïvety to blind me to the racism you experience every single day.

I am sorry for all the times I haven’t called my white friends and family on racism. {Tweet This!}

Just this week I let a racist comment go. We were talking about a movie called “He even has your eyes” about a black couple who adopt a white baby. I thought it was beautiful. I loved that it challenged all my preconceived ideas about race. My friend who is white said, “That would be so shocking! Imagine a white baby in the loxion.”

I didn’t understand what she said so I replied, “What? Where?”

“In the location”.

I shook my head barely believing what I had heard and quickly paid the bill. As I drove home, I kicked myself for not calling her on it. Black people do not only live in locations. And people raise children in locations every day, and despite often lacking access to quality education many go on to become the kind of people we all should be proud to call a son or daughter.

I am sorry that I failed you in that conversation and that I perpetuated a system that holds down anyone who is not white. I am sorry this is not the only time I have failed to speak up when white people put people of colour down.

I am 34 years old and I have never learnt to speak an African language. I have expected every person of colour to adapt to my culture, the white culture that I benefit from.

I am sorry that I thought I belonged in a "different" group of white people, that I was somehow special and immune from oppressing you.

I am sorry I thought it was okay to say “some” white people when talking about white supremacists and I admit when #BlackLivesMatter started I fought for #AllLivesMatter.

I. Am. Sorry.

I am sorry that when apartheid ended I did not change my actions. I am sorry that I haven’t loved you like Jesus, that I haven’t stood up for your rights like I would stand up for my child.

I realise now, and I hope it is not too late, that our country’s failure to transform is not your problem. It is a white one. White people have apologised for apartheid but never really repented. We have not done enough to right the wrongs of the past. We have not been angry enough about the circumstances we put you in because we are too scared that speaking up for you might mean losing everything for us.

I will never know what it is like to go through life without privilege. I can’t pretend to own or understand your experience. I want to though. I want to listen, to learn, to hear how my privilege has hurt you, is hurting you.

And I want to learn to act.

I do not want to put the burden of correcting the behaviour of white people on your shoulders anymore. You should not have to call us on our racism anymore.

I promise you I will be ~~brave~~ your ally in the face of racism.

(Brave? Really Wendy? Brave is Ernest Cole a black South African photographing apartheid and exposing it. Brave is Nelson Mandela standing in a courtroom and saying he is willing to die for his beliefs. It is not brave to be a good human, to do the right thing. I don’t need to be brave, I just need to be an ally.)

I will call other white people on their racism. I will speak up for you when I am in a room. I know it is not enough. It will never be enough.

Thank you for being patient with us. Thank you for giving white people more than twenty years since apartheid to realise how we have failed once again. We do not deserve your kindness.

A recovering white racist

P.S. To the white people reading this: I have always wondered who I would have been if I had lived through apartheid. And I’m realising that this is our chance to be the people we hoped we would be. I am scared. I am not sure how to fix this but I know I want to do something. I see white supremacy rising in America and from all I read about it I'm realizing that if they win in America all white people win and I don't want to live in a world where I am an advantaged at the cost of people of colour. Here are a few resources that have gotten me thinking and acting on this issue. I hope you'll find them helpful too.

Novel: Small Great Things – Jodi Picoult (Affiliate link) Set in America. Picoult tackles racism head on from the viewpoint of how white people have benefited from slavery (in a South African context apartheid) and looks at what a white persons response should be to current racial tensions. I can’t recommend this book enough. She has a great article about how to be an ALLY on her website which you can click here to read.

Non-Fiction: Born a crime - Trevor Noah (Affiliate link) This book isn’t funny. If anything it’s uncomfortable to read. It will challenge you on so many levels about race.

Movie: He even has your eyes. French with English subtitles. You can find this on Netflix. Watch the trailer here. As a white person, what is your first reaction to the idea of black people raising a white child? Yup. This film will challenge all those preconceived ideas and open the door for real conversations about race.

Podcast: The Liturgists Episode 34 - Black and white in America Very American in history but the truth is universal.

Article: Repenting Systemic Racism, Relevant Magazine. Want to know what to do next? This article on the biblical example of Josiah lays a great foundation.

Unfortunately, many of these resources are American. I would love to read more from South Africans on race so if you have any other resources please share them in the comments.

Photo by Dmitri Popov on Unsplash

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*****

A prayer for when you're going through a storm

2017-06-08T09:29:00.000+02:00

Lord, it feels silly to pray at a time like this!

It feels like at a time like this prayer should take the form of action, not mere words.

Prayer is opening the doors of my home, making sandwiches for the hungry, holding down the roof on a house so the dust and rain can’t get in.

Right now, all I have is words, so let that be enough, but keep my heart soft and open to any actions I need to live.

Thank you for your promises that when we face stormy seas you will be there with us with endurance and calm; we will not be engulfed in raging rivers.

If it seems like we’re walking through fire with flames licking at our limbs, we can keep going; Because You, the Eternal One, are our God. You are the Holy One of Israel, and You will save us.

I sometimes read your promises (like the one above) and I think, ‘Really God? Tell that to the people who just lost a loved one or whose house just burnt down.’ Help me in my unbelief. Show me your hand in this storm even when all I can see is destruction and suffering.

There are men, women and children affected by the fires and storms raging right now. Lord, I ask that they would know your presence that they can hold on to you while everything else they have is being ripped away.

You know I don’t understand why bad things happen. You know it makes me angry and sad.

I’m reminded at times like this that you are much bigger than me, much greater than my understanding. You are likened to a consuming fire, a whirlwind. And I need to trust that your ways are not mine and that you can bring beauty out of ashes.

Jesus, we ask that the wind would calm. I think of you standing on a boat in the middle of raging storm and rebuking the wind. Your voice calmed the wind.

Could you speak to the wind now? Will you calm the storm?

Speak, Lord Jesus, speak.

Open the skies and let the rain fall.
Come, Lord Jesus, come.

_________

I wrote this prayer this morning specifically with the people of Knysna, South Africa in mind. If you want to follow the story here are some live updates. However, I know that there are storms and fires (real and figurative) that people across the world deal with every day. If you're going through one now I hope that this prayer will help you.

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{Get my book}

In my free e-book Life, Life and More Life I share thoughts on how to make every moment count gleaned from my experiences of loving my husband through 18 sessions of chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant. If you would like a free copy please subscribe below to receive my devotionals.

How to get up after a hard ending

2017-05-17T05:30:00.000+02:00

A note from Wendy:

You might remember Fran from her first guest post on my blog about how to know if it’s time to leave your past behind. I’m happy to have her back again. I also recently signed up for her free simple (but sassy) writing course and have been enjoying working my way through it.

Life often doesn't go the way we planned, and when it doesn't it can be hard to find our footing again, if you're in that place I hope this devotional from Fran will encourage you.

Guest devotional by Fran:

Usually, I say “No”. Usually, when they offer to buy me a drink, compliment my blonde hair, grin at my warm smile, or try a clever joke I shrug in response, “sorry dude- it’s not happening.”

This time something felt different, and I said yes.

There is no formula, strategy or method what can make sense or account for the connection between two people. The meeting in the bar, the first drink, the moment I said yes- it all felt like I had tumbled, a real world Alice, down a dark tunnel into a whole new world.

I would love to tell you dating has been easy for me and I met someone kind and honest at 22. The typical church love story. I would love to tell you he was into church; he did the right things; he asked me for coffee, sent me goodnight texts with heart in the eye emojis, remembered every anniversary, let me pick the movie, initiated prayer nights, and proposed in less than 6 months.

It’s been nothing like that. My dating life has looked like the games you find kids playing outside shopping centres on the wrong side of town. The ones where you put money in a slot, a rusty metal claw lowers into a mass of round balls with prizes, it grabs something, pulls it up and then, at the very last moment, the ball always drops. Uh-uh. No matter how many times you put money in the slot and watch the claw, the ball always drops.

I recently broke up with the boy I met in the bar. Because I really liked this one, it was worse.

Until you have gone through a break up I don’t think you understand what can be held in the human heart. There’s something about a break up which brings you to your knees, teaches you great lengths of empathy and, even though it will heal, leaves scars.

I write this article because I am sure there are many out there who, like me, find themselves in a place of disappointment, hurt and raw confusion. Maybe it’s a breakup, or maybe it’s something else in a relationship where you feel like you are watching a game play out again and again.

In the midst of the confusion, the desire to rewind time and the “I don’t get it”, I’ve found I have had to remind myself of some rational relationship truths (Or I may loose the plot!):
- Communication and care is not a “nice to have”, it’s a reasonable expectation
- Either you can over-think a situation and let it have your joy, or you can decide to let it go
- It’s not fair for only one person to fight to make things better
- An unhealthy relationship is exhaustingTrust the small, still voice inside you which says “No,” and “Be honest.”

It’s times like this where the goodness of God holds me in so many ways. I’ve discovered, when I step back from the questions, an inner strength and peace. I’ve unearthed a maturity and perspective on the situation which doesn’t feel like me. I’ve found my folding emotions have lost their impact when I’ve shared them with friends who love me and make me laugh. My sadness has subsided when I’ve chosen to look forward, look upwards, and see this as a closed door on the long path of my life- many adventures await me.

Romans 15:13

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Things don’t always work out the way you think they are going to, especially when it comes to relationships. I want to encourage everyone because I know what it’s like to put another coin in the machine when you don’t want to. Either we hide away, caught in our last ruined headline or we stand up, shake it off, put on a sequin top (of course!) and get back at it again. I don’t know what boys you’ve met in bars, how many times the balls have been dropped, or what you’ve had to let go, but I believe God has got you (and me), firmly, yet delicately in his big and capable hands.

About Fran Thring, the author of this guest devotional:

Equal parts sassy, kind and fun I tumble my way through life; my brain a constant mishmash of cultures and ideas. I reckon when we are generous, cool things happen. Running, writing and Jesus keep me sane. Some days I eat banana chips for dinner and some days I drink wine with my friends while the Cape Town sunsets. I blog here: franthring.com

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photo credit: BuddaBoy Jakes 10th Birthday - Warrington Quasar via photopin (license)

Are you burnt out? Here’s one way to slow down.

2017-05-08T12:53:00.002+02:00

The running club, I'm a member of, has a chant that the pacemaker sings when the group he's leading needs to slow down. It goes:

Easy. Easy. Ea-Zee.

We sing this as we run and slow our pace down so we don’t burn out too early and fail to finish the race.

For the last couple of months, I've been following a half marathon running plan. The run today was set at a comfortable pace. It was slow enough that I could walk some of the distance if I wanted and still finish. It was a recovery run because I've been doing some long, fast distances.

Slowing down isn't easy for me.

I kept finding myself running at too fast today, running at race pace when I should be going slow.

Easy. Easy. Ea-Zee.

I'd tell myself this. Hearing my running club in my head, slowing down the rhythm of my feet.

As I caught myself running too fast, I thought about how it’s not only in running that I don’t give myself permission to slow down.

My personality is prone to burnout – I’m an INFJ-T in case you're wondering – and I just burnt out at my last job.

I’m not a doctor or medical professional, but here are a few signs that you might be burnt out or heading towards burnout:

- Lack of interest and motivation in things you used to enjoy

- General feeling of exhaustion or being completely spent (could be mental, emotional or physical)

- Feeling like what you’re doing doesn’t matter anymore

- Increased illness due to a weakened immune system

- Depression, anxiety or anger

Burnout is a state of chronic stress. If you are experiencing some of these symptoms (there are more listed here) it should be a wake-up call that something needs to change. Burnout doesn’t go way on its own, you have to change something to get better.

Lately, I've been trying to take the time to recover from burnout. It's tough because my inclination is to run to the next thing. To look for clients and work to fill the financial and time gap my job left.

I find I need to remind myself, over-and-over,

Easy. Easy. Ea-Zee.

Give myself permission to slow down, to let my burdens be light.

I don't know about you, but too often I'm trying to prove something: that I can run fast, work well, look holy, and I fail to hear Jesus' invitation to run life at his pace:

Easy. Easy. Ea-Zee.

I don't know what caused your burnout but I know Jesus never meant for you to carry "hard" on your own.

Jesus is there like the pacemaker of the running club. He can't force you to slow down but he can guide your pace and ease your burdens.

So next time you’re going too fast, slow down long enough to hear Jesus’ saying, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:30 – MSG)

Ponder: What changes do you need to make in your life to stop being burnt out?

Prayer: God, I'm tired and worn out. I need you to me here because I'm too burnt out to go to you. Give me the time I need to take a real rest. Open my eyes to the opportunities to slow down that you give me. Show me the changes, big and small that I need to make to recover. Walk with me and teach me when I need to take it easy, easy, ea-zee. Thank you that I as I let you shoulder the hard things you will teach me how to live freely and lightly. Amen.

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*****

When you need to take a leap of faith

2017-05-01T05:00:00.000+02:00

Look at the birds in the sky. They do not store food for winter. They don't plant gardens. They do not sow or reap—and yet, they are always fed because your heavenly Father feeds them. And you are even more precious to Him than a beautiful bird. If He looks after them, of course He will look after you. Matthew 6:26 (VOICE)

When I resigned from my job Xylon told me, "You have to take a month off. Before you look for work or think of the next thing, you must take May to rest."

I loved the idea and I hated it.

I leaned into the idea of days reading books and I pushed against the idea of not contributing to costs.

I began jotting down a list of hobbies I wanted to try and I wrote lists of potential clients to approach for freelance work.

I collected a pile of books to read and I started studying a free part-time course to be a better digital marketer.

I submitted and I resisted.

The last day at my job fell on Wednesday.

Thursday, a country-wide holiday to commemorate the first democratic vote in South Africa, started like a holiday should. Breakfast with my parents - in town for a dentist visit – and a cardboard box tied with string and filled with cheesecake to take home for an after dinner treat.

However, a few hours into my first day of holiday I felt overwhelmed by the idea of a month of rest stretching ahead of me.

I found Xylon working on his Mountain Bike in the garage, "What am I going to do with one whole month of doing nothing?"

As he reached for a tool to tighten the water cage on his bike, he responded, "You'll figure it out. Before long you’ll have more things to do than you have time."

A few minutes later, he rides off to meet his cousin.

I looked around the garage for a project and spotted an old piece of driftwood I had rescued from the beach months ago. It seemed like a good place to start so I dragged it outside and collected my tools.

As I moved the wire brush backward and forwards to remove the dirt and old bark, I thought about this month: The value of it. The weight of it. The preciousness of it. How I don’t want to waste it. And how I really don’t want to waste it by worrying.

I know it's unlikely I'll get this gift again: a full month to take care of myself, to recover from burnout, to refresh my soul.

Every time I mention I worry about the future, Xylon tells me how every other day God shows him an animal that isn't worrying about where its next meal will come from. He keeps reminding me we need to be more like the animals and birds, more trusting that God will take care of us.

Brush. Brush. Blow the sawdust away and start again on another section of driftwood.

As I worked to find the beauty in the wood it came to me how I need to spend this month. I need to live as if come 1 June I have 3 golden clients waiting for me to start working with them. I have to live this month secure that Xylon and God will take care of me.

You see we can't really afford to live on one salary so I know when Xylon says, "rest" it costs him something.

What it's taken me over a month to realize is that when I say, "Yes, I’ll rest", it pays Xylon back in trust and respect. And to him, that's worth the extra hours he'll have to put in to pay the bills.

When I say "yes", and allow myself time to refresh my soul after burning out, I'm showing God I believe He will take care of me.

It is scary! I have had to fight the part of me that wants to write proposals for clients, make meetings and guarantee an income in June.

If it wasn't scary there would be no need to take a leap of faith and believe I am even more precious to God than a beautiful bird. If He looks after them, of course, He will look after me!

Brush, brush. Whispering a prayer as I go that God will help me live with confidence that he is taking care of the future even as I rest in Him.

Ponder: What areas in your life do you need to take a leap of faith in right now and trust that God will provide for you?

Prayer: God, I'm scared. I don't know how [fill in your worry] will turn out. You know how much I want to take control of the situation, how much I want to fix it but instead, I am choosing to trust you. I am choosing to live with confidence that you will look after me. Help me to rest in you today and when the time is right to know which doors you want me to knock on. Thank you for taking such good care of me. Amen.

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*****

4 prayers to say when you are afraid of the future

2017-04-19T17:17:00.000+02:00

I know I’m not the only one who feels afraid of what the future may hold.

You may be familiar with the way fear creeps into your dreams of tomorrow. I feel like every other conversation ends up circling around fear of what the future could bring.

I’m learning that when fear enters the conversation the best way to make it leave is to pray.

I don’t know about you but I’m not always good at coming up with my own words to pray. I love finding prayers that give my own hopes a voice.

As I’ve been praying my way through the last few weeks these are some of the prayers that I’ve been returning to again and again.

I'm sharing the 4 prayers I pray when the future scares me at ibelieve.com today.

Click here to continue reading

When you're worried everyone will remember your embarrassing moment. Forever.

2017-02-27T05:37:00.000+02:00

Today, I'm sharing a guest post by Anne Borgen. You can find out more about her or get in touch with her on her website.

*****

I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. Isaiah 43:25

For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more. Hebrews 8:12

Tears streamed down her little chubby cheeks, “Mom, she told everyone that I have a birth mark on my bum! Now no one will ever forget that about me,” cried my little girl.

I knelt down to draw her little body closer to mine and wrap my arms around her. In that tender mother voice we’re all supposed to download day of their birth, I spoke to her “Oh child, you might remember it forever, but your friends will never forget it.”

Before I even gathered what had flown out of my genius mouth, she looked up at me and giggled.

“Thanks, Mom, that’s just a reeeeal encouragement.”

Horrified at my complete flub up, eyes wide eyed in eagerness to right my wrong I began to stutter through the correction, “oh my, no, what I meant to say is you might always remember it but they’ll soon forget about it.”

She was graciously laughing at me by this point and her little hand brushed up to hold my face and she said, “Its okay, Mom, I knew what you meant.”

Isaiah reminds us that God blots out our sins for God’s sake.

I used to think that He just had some sort of hidden ego issue that somehow was holy and I just didn’t understand it but now I realize that what that Scripture is in there for is to encourage us that when we think we’ve messed up so big that no one would ever forget it, God reminds us that we don’t have to worry about Him forgetting it because He isn’t waiting for us to show Him some kind of worthiness for Him to base His toss out game on.

God, instead, is basing His forgetfulness on His own merit.

Why?

To completely take the pressure off of us. He realizes that when our ‘mark on the bum’ is broadcasted to all the world around us and we absolutely are convinced they will never forget it, even if we scrubbed it clean off, they still wouldn’t forget it had been there, God is standing right there to remind us that He will remove it from His memory and He’ll do so just because…He’s good.

Just in case we think that is only an Old Testament promise, He gives us Hebrews as well.

God doesn’t like to remember our sins any more than we do.

People remember them because they lack forgiveness and love but God is limitless in those areas and for this reason He is eager and pleased to blot it all out.

Prayer:

Father, thank you for being able and willing to forgive us, let go, and do a step further with our sins than we humans are capable of; blotting them out and remembering them no more.

Amen.

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*****

If you're starting the week broken, this book might help

2017-02-20T05:30:00.000+02:00

One of the first people I "met" when I opened my Twitter account was James Prescott.

He was encouraging and it felt like a friend out there in the big wide social world.

He guest posted here a few times (here and here) and I guest posted on his site and then last week he released his first book! How awesome is that?

It’s book about Grace. Grace for all of us who don’t have it all together, the one’s are broken and shattered by what life has thrown at us.

What I love is that James has written a book to meet you right in the middle of your broken places and to show you that those fractured bits might be the most beautiful of all once God is done.

There’s a story in Chapter 1 (I’m not giving too much of the book away) that I want to share here. It goes:

In the late 15^th century, a man called Ashikaga Yoshimasa sent a damaged Chinese tea bowl to China to be fixed. It returned, held together with ugly metal stapes. This ugly repair launched the Japanese craftsmen on a quest for a new form of mending pottery that could make a broken piece look as good as new - or better.

The process of repair invented was called Kintsugi. Kintsugi is the art of fixing broken ceramic pieces together with a lacquer resin made to look like solid gold. Kintsugi literally means “golden joinery”, and often the craftsmen used genuine gold powder in the resin. When the broken pieces are placed back together with the gold resin, an amazing intricate design is created within the pottery.
In another story, a man took clay pots to his friends in Japan, only for the pots to break en route. He threw the broken pots into a garbage bin, thinking nothing more of the pieces. But when the man departed his friends’ home, he was given a gift. Opening the gift, the mand found the once-shattered bowls, not put together with Kintsugi - making the pots even more beautiful than their original form.

How great is that story? Doesn’t it give you hope that God’s grace can meet you in your broken places?

I’m very honoured that James asked me to write the foreward to the book. If you want to know what I wrote you’ll have to buy the book which you can do here on Amazon**!

If you’re wondering if you need to read a book on grace then I’d recommend this one to anyone who needs to find hope in the mess of life.

You can’t encounter the messy, violent, uncomfortable grace that James writes about and stay the same.

But then again, who would want to stay the same when God is offering you an invitation to let God’s grace love you to wholeness?

** Affiliate links used in this post. (Which basically means if you click through to Amazon from this post and buy something I'll get a small percentage of the purchase which I'll most likely use to buy books).

5 bible verses that can help when you’re struggling

2017-02-06T06:15:00.000+02:00

A few weeks ago I asked you all to help figure out what I should write here and what happened surprised me.

For starters, almost 150 of you replied. I expected much fewer.

Then, when I began to read through what you’d said I was overwhelmed by how kind you all were, how so many of you shared stories of how the struggles I’ve shared here have helped you get through something hard.

And in doing so you’ve helped see the bigger picture here.

I always thought I wrote about “cancer” or about “doubt” or “depression” but what I realised reading your responses is that I write about things I struggle with and many times what I learn helps you to find hope.

I’ll be sharing some new material soon but in the meantime I wanted to say “Thank you” for taking the time to tell me what this online home has meant to you and share 5 bible verses that have helped me through when I’ve been struggling:

The Lord turned to [Gideon] and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?” Judges 6:14(NIV)