Are you stressed out, worried, scared, or anxious about something in your life that might happen? Is your mind running wild with ‘what-if’ questions?

Stress for a future event (whether known, or unknown) can be very destructive to your mind, and to your overall life. It can consume your entire day, and leave you feeling very fatigued, frustrated, depressed, or worse. Often times, your whole day can zoom by without you being a part of it much because your entire focus is on the future.

I’ve missed out on many things in life because I was so consumed with fear and worry about what was to potentially come, and the endless ‘what-if’ questions that stirred around constantly in my mind. Such as questions about the future with job security, relationship problems, money issues, social acceptance, family dramas, or simply questioning my place, my purpose, my value, or my worth in this life. This state of mind has a very detached feeling, causing you to feel very unorganized, helpless, chaotic, unbalanced, scared, stressed, fatigued, and most of all – alone, in a seemingly never ending supply of mental and emotional negativity that feels as if it’s attacking you at every level of your soul.

The best thing is that you can overcome this state of mind. You can destroy these miserable feelings, and alter your state of mind, your emotions towards your stresses, and therefor alter your happiness, your sense of self, and your life.

Stress is caused by being in the present moment (‘here’) but focusing on the future (‘there’) – whether the event is one to be nervous about, scared about, or even one you are excited about. Pain can be caused because you are now ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there’ – or the other way – you are ‘here’ but NOT wanting to be ‘there’, and are nervous about what ‘there’ will bring. Your mind may swirl around endless ‘what-if’ type questions regarding your situation. This is also worry about a potential future, where your mind may jump towards the worst possible case scenarios, which of course brings the worst possible case pain, which you begin to feel immediately even though the event hasn’t actually occurred yet. Sometimes the pain of the unknown is the worst of all. Sometimes the pain of not understanding why a situation occurred is just too much to handle. The mind tries to figure it all out to understand the reasoning behind the event, the pain, and the chaotic mental and emotional misery – but this can often be an endless road that can go on for years and possibly lead to needing the assistance of professional counseling and medications. But in my opinion, stress is a result of being in your mind too much – and not being in your heart.

The solution (which happens to be the new main message of this website): Get out of your mind, and into your Heart.

Through all I’ve been through and experienced in my life, and through all the years I’ve spent writing and talking with others and trying to help them understand their life, their feelings, their problems, and their mind – I’ve come to realize that the mind is the ultimate problem. We are all suffering from the same problem: too much mind – not enough heart.

Life itself is happening right now. Your life is right now – in this moment, as you are reading this. You are not the past, nor are you the future. The future is an illusion, just like the past. You are using your life now, to worry and stress about the future. You are using that which IS, to stress and worry about that which ISN’T. You are missing everything, and aren’t able to smell the roses of your current daily life. In fact, you are so lost in your mind you aren’t even present enough to notice there are roses. You need to keep yourself in the present moment. You need to keep yourself in your life now. You should only use the past or the future for practical purposes. In most cases, this means only using the future as a means for preparation or learning – not allowing it to be a demon sucking away your life energy.

If you are becoming overly stressed and worried about the events of the future, the pain is only a sign of your disconnection from your life. You are feeling the pain from being disconnected from yourself. The more stress you feel – the more disconnected you are. The endless ‘what-if’ thoughts are a clear sign of this. What if you fail? What if something goes wrong? What if you don’t find anyone? What if you are broke? What if this or that? Whatever it is you are stressing over, worried about, or fearing – trust me, I know the feelings – I know the thoughts – I know the trap. And I tell you this from years of experience – it IS a trap… And you are missing your life in the process.

The other part of this miserable trap is that you are putting the salvation from your stress towards the same future event. What is causing you pain is also expected to relieve your pain. You may feel you just need to ‘get there’ or ‘get it over with’ to be relieved, saved, or comforted. But with the overall idea of salvation – you can never ‘get there’. You can only BE there – and you can only do so, right now – in the now, in the present moment. Besides – what are you missing while you are waiting to ‘get there and get it over with’? What is being damaged?

You are missing the experience of being in heaven while waiting for heaven to come find you, or waiting to find it, be shown it, or be given it.

Catch my drift yet??

Waiting for salvation to come in the future is a nasty trap, and it will only lead you down a long, miserable, painful road of disappointment, mental and emotional pain, or even towards psychological damage that needs professional attention or medications to cope with. The game of waiting, especially for long-term salvation (or happiness and joy), is a deadly game. And yes, I said deadly. Many people have taken their lives due to the pain associated with the idea that salvation will come to them – but it never does.

I was almost one of them.

If you are waiting for a certain person to show up in your life, a special relationship to exist, for the perfect job, the new house, the new car, the money, the boyfriend, the girlfriend, the husband, the wife, the paradise, ‘God’, and most importantly – happiness, and joy – you’ll always be waiting and will never be fulfilled and will be in a constant state of chaotic addiction towards obtaining more and more worldly pleasures that only give you small glimpses of what you believe to be ‘joy’ while on your search for real, true, honest, and pure joy.

The real truth is, happiness and joy can never be found in the future; it can never be found in the past – it can only be found right now within you.

Get back to your life. Get back to the present moment. Get back to yourself. Prepare yourself for the future the best you can, and do so in the now. When the future comes, it will come in the now. And what will happen will happen. Most things in life you stress about, never actually happen, but the damage done to your mental state and health is shocking. Your stresses and worry may be focused on the ‘what-if’ questions, and I believe a certain amount of that “stress” can actually be motivation to help you in your preparations for the future. But when it becomes destructive and you are missing the present moment – aka, missing your life – then it has gone too far.

Your feelings are your tools, not your demons. Use them – don’t allow them to use you – let alone destroy you.

You should never, ever ignore your feelings even if they are negative. These are your truths, your guides, and your tools for which to craft and mold your life into exactly what you choose it to be. They are simply lights that flash during various situations in life as if to alert you that the way you’re thinking does not align with your true self or the highest version of you. You are the one that gives meaning to these alarms, as well as creates the actions taken in response. Your stress and worry about a future event is only your indication about a part of you that needs to be healed. Take notice of this, and ask yourself deeply why this pain has come, and why you are dependent on a particular outcome for the future to steady your mind, your heart, and your sense of self.

Get in the present moment! Get in the now! That is where your life is. Do what you need to do to keep yourself in the present moment. Meditation is the best tool, and it’s one I will strongly and passionately preach about from now on – the practice saved my life, literally.

And believe me, I know it sounds stupid to do. I know you may feel it’s only reserved for the weird hippies and spiritual nuts out there – but trust me, as one person that has battled severe depression for years, been on the verge of suicide countless times (even multiple attempts), taking endless mind numbing medications, and seeing therapist after therapist; meditation has been the best tool, the ultimate experience, and the ultimate way to reveal the truth that resides within me, and you, at all times: You are beautiful. You are wonderful. You are powerful, strong, unique and a true gift. You have pure happiness, love, and joy within you right now at this moment; it IS you. Meditation allows you to unlock this truth, find it, and experience it.

But don’t just take my word for it, science is catching up and realizing that meditation is more powerful than our strongest pain medications. In a recent study, researchers found that meditation relieved pain by 40% where morphine only reduced pain by 25%. The scans taken after meditation training showed that every participant’s pain ratings were reduced, with decreases ranging from 11% to 93%. [link]

Again, I know how stupid it can sound. I know you might think this is just too simple, too indirect, or even just too pathetic to even mention as a tool to help you with your life situations. But I’ve been in the same position you are in, and have thought it was too stupid to even give it a chance and stick with. I felt my problems were too big, were too severe, and that I was beyond help from anyone, especially myself. All of that is completely untrue.

Sit, breathe, and just be.

The mind will always wander but if you detach yourself from it and just let it flow where it wants to, with time it will slow down and return to you. Through this practice, you will once again take control of your mind – as right now, its clear that your mind is controlling you.

Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and take notice of your breath – follow it in and out. Allow yourself to relax. Also take notice of your heartbeat – follow its beat and pulse. Find its rhythm. When you notice your mind taking you over, just simply return to following your breathing. Turn on some music to help you relax. This is what I listen to first then when I wake up each day around 6 am for meditation:

http://grooveshark.com/s/Stargate+Invocation/3Qe84g?src=5

Also another favorite I listen to every day is this: (sounds of rain – best I’ve heard – it has meditative tones hidden behind it to help you fall deeply into a meditative state).

http://grooveshark.com/s/Immersion/3erqSc?src=5

You don’t need to sit down and zone out for an hour or two to get the effects. 10 minutes will do wonders sometimes. Just enough to help you center yourself, bring you back to the present moment – back to yourself. You don’t need to sit with your legs crossed – I use a short stool and have my legs folded below me as if I was going to sit on the back of my heels. Get comfortable in whatever position you’d like – keep your spine straight as best as you can. You can even do this sitting at your desk at work, in traffic, or while taking a bathroom break.

Relax. Relax. Relax.

It may feel stupid like you are sitting there wasting your time, looking like an idiot, and are only allowing the mind to torture you deeper and deeper; but trust me, give it time and continue to practice. Allow yourself to let go of your stresses for the future, and your pain overall. Start with only a few minutes each day and progress to longer sessions when you want to. Bottom line: just get started. Practice, practice, practice.

You can maintain a constant state of meditation – or presence – throughout your entire day, every day. Just be in the present moment. Relax your mind and body, and follow your breathing – follow your heartbeat, and when your mind takes you down a road you don’t like – acknowledge that you have taken a wrong road, and return immediately to your breathing – return immediately to yourself.

You’ve spent a lot of years, with every moment learning to hate yourself. Be patient and give yourself time to undo all that. It can only be done in the now, in the present moment – not through the past, or the future.

If you are turned off by such terms or practices as meditation, then do something else that keeps you in the present moment. Others go golfing, rock climbing, or some form of physical activity that keep their focused tuned to the present moment and towards their current activity instead of worries about the future and ‘what-if’ questions. But the best and easiest way is to stop what you are doing and just breathe. Get centered. Look at your life situations from a good mental state.  The future is an illusion and focusing on it can destroy you. Use the future for practical purposes; to learn, to prepare, to progress – but don’t allow it consume your present moment. Don’t allow it to consume your time, your happiness, and your life.

The present moment: That is where your life is. That is where your happiness is found.

Go within.

Get out of your mind and into your heart!

I’m Shaun – just a spirit trying to be human…

Thanks for reading.

Related posts:

1. Finding Happiness Within Your Problems
2. Where to Find True Joy and Happiness Right Now
3. Allowing Yourself to Let Go

Today might be a hard day for you because you do not have someone to love, or someone to love you.

But that isn’t true at all.

Look in the mirror.  What about YOU?

You can fill both roles!  You’re someone that can receive love, as well as someone that can give love. Give it to yourself!!

You more than anyone deserve your own love. 

Go within.  Love is waiting for you now.  Do not worry about the past situations that have been difficult for you.  Nor should you stress over the future which you believe contains your salvation. Both are illusions and are the causes of your current pain.

Your life is right now, in this moment, and you should treasure that.  So long as you are truly present, you will be free of pain.  You may be thinking to yourself that if you only had someone to be with, someone to love, and someone to love you, THEN you could be happy.  That is a delusion, and only a statement that you want the future and you don’t want your life right now.  Your life is right now; so such a statement is only stating you don’t want yourself, and your life right now.  No wonder you are in pain – you are rejecting yourself.  The future is an illusion.  You may think about someone that used to be in your life and now you wish you were with him or her still – but that is only wishing for the past, which is also an illusion.

Your life is right now. This moment, right now.  Not the past – not the future.  Right now.  Someone else is only something outside of you – and you should not depend on an external source for your happiness.  You can be completely full of happiness and joy RIGHT NOW as you are reading these words.  Let go of the past for a minute, and stop dreaming of the future.  Be totally and completely present right now.  Go within.  Breathe deeply, calmly, and let the mind trickle down like a gentle stream – just watch it – don’t stand in it and get washed away.  Just watch.  Just be.  Focus on your breath.  Focus on your body.  Feel every part of it; feel its aliveness.  Your toes. Your knees. Your legs. Your hips.  Your stomach.  Your chest.  Your arms.  Your head.

You are alive. You are beautiful. You are wonderful. You are sacred and unique. 

Go within yourself and experience knowing this.  Let go of the outside labels, judgments, comments and insulting remarks of others.  Let go of your need to have someone or something in order to feel complete, happy, and secure.  You already are complete. Let go of searching in the past or future for answers – you’ll never find them there.  Answers are only found within you right now.

Do something wonderful for yourself today.  Go outside for a long walk.  Buy yourself a treat, some new clothes, or a new pair of shoes.  Go see a movie you’ve wanted to see.  Take yourself out to lunch or dinner.  Buy some new jewelry.  Check something off your bucket list.  Do something fun and allow yourself to enjoy it, and smile. Do something to express gratitude for the most important person in your life – yourself.

Breathe.  Smile.  Allow.  And choose for this day, to be a happy day.

Happy Valentines Day.

Love is always the answer.

Related posts:

1. Allowing Yourself to Let Go
2. Where to Find True Joy and Happiness Right Now
3. 25 Daily Affirmations to Improve Your Self Esteem

Have you turned on the TV recently?  I usually don’t watch much TV, but I turned it on during a recent weekend getaway and I was blown away by the massive amount of psychological programming being shot out to the world.

There was commercial after commercial stating that happiness, joy, and a simple peace of mind can only be obtained when you buy a certain product or service.  Whether it was a commercial for a car company, or a deodorant company, or a clothing company, or even a home security company – they all tell you that unless you buy their product you won’t be safe, you won’t be desired by the opposite gender, you won’t fit in, and you won’t have peace of mind or a clear conscious.  Then, and only then, would you be happy, sexy, comfortable, safe, stylish, accepted, loved etc.  They show images of happy families, beautiful people, luxurious lifestyles, all showing you how life is because of their product or services, and if you aren’t like this, then you aren’t happy and you aren’t fulfilled. It makes you believe that if you had their product, you would be happy like them too, you would look beautiful, and you would be at peace.

This happens with all forms of advertising, not just on TV.  Look at the magazine stands, advertisements all over our streets and freeways on billboards, and even look at the foundations for religious organizations!  Not only aren’t we good enough until we buy a certain product, but also now we’re not good enough unless we adopt a certain faith, and think, believe, and live a certain way so ‘God’ will be pleased and approve of us. If we don’t, we won’t be forgiven, or accepted, and won’t be allowed into heaven; we won’t be saved.

It’s all proof that our society is built on the idea that happiness, joy, security, peace, comfort, love, and even the eternal salvation of your soul must come from, or depend on, external sources because you as you are now aren’t good enough, aren’t worthy enough, aren’t important enough, aren’t safe enough, and aren’t complete as a human being, until you are, have, buy, or obtain a certain product, image, status, or way of life. 

This obsession with having and needing more, and more, and more is destroying us all.  No wonder millions and millions of people are taking pills everyday to find some sense of happiness and balance.  Everyone is falling for one of the biggest lies of all time – and that is that you are incomplete, unworthy, imperfect, and miserable unless you buy a certain product, become a certain type of person, or adopt a certain way of life.

When is enough, enough?

You do not need their products to be happy. You do not need their way of life to be saved.  You do not need anything outside of yourself to feel complete joy RIGHT NOW.  You already have it, you already own it, and it lies within you at every moment, including the moment right now when you are reading these words. 

The truth is, businesses are afraid of you. They depend on you. And so long as you are unconscious to the idea that you are already perfect, they can continue to make fortunes.  Let me say that again in another way:  people are getting rich because you don’t believe in yourself.  People are using your pain to benefit themselves! They depend on you! They need you to survive.  How does that feel?  You may think that you are the one that needs them, but in truth, it’s the other way around.  Businesses need you.  And because they need YOU, you are the one in control.  You are the one with all the power.  You have the ability to destroy them.  We all do.  I’m not saying we need to destroy businesses – I’m more saying we need to destroy our own attachments to them and the ideas they force into us that you aren’t worthy, beautiful, and perfect the way you are now.  We need to destroy the dependency we have on outside forces creating our sense of self and our identity.  We need to destroy the idea that we need something outside ourselves to be happy.

Pleasure comes from outside sources; joy comes from within.

We all believe we are obtaining joy, but really we are simply obtaining pleasure from outside sources.  But the problem with that is the same problem that a drug user might run into.  You find yourself on a high that quickly turns into a low, and you find yourself needing more and more.  Enough can never be enough.  Your pleasures soon become your addictions.  And every addiction starts with pain, and ends with pain.  What you are addicted to is usually a cover up for your pain, but really it’s not covering it up, it’s helping to emphasize and grow your pain.  Eventually, you will feel its wrath. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually, you will feel it.  Sadly, most are feeling it continuously, and are frantically trying to cover it up with more things and distractions – usually unconsciously – meaning they are so used to that way of handling things, they don’t even know they are doing it.  Most are constantly living their life in a state where they truly believe that if they had more money, more success, more possessions, a new car, a bigger home, a better relationship (or even one at all) or whatever it may be – THEN they would be happy (or be happier). 

This is a massive delusion. 

It’s a poisonous belief that is destroying you from the inside out.

It’s a belief you need to abandon, dissolve, and let go of.  It is not serving you.  It is destroying you.

This is not to say that you cannot have nice possessions, seek money, or constantly be trying to improve your life through goals and objectives.  By all means, have desires and pursue them.  This simply means to remove your attachment and dependency on those things as your source for your happiness and identity. Do not seek those things because you NEED them, but rather, have gratitude for them when you do obtain them. But do not depend on them or become attached to them where their absence or lack creates disharmony within you.  Seek things through joy, and as an absolute expression of who you are to the universe – not as an expression of who are you trying to become, or who you are trying to be identified as through the eyes of another person or group.

Need nothing – have gratitude for everything.

Go Within.

Joy is found within you. It’s available right now.

Love is not found in products and can’t be purchased, replaced, or acquired.  Love is found within you.  It’s available right now. 

Heaven is found within you.  It’s there right now.  You cannot, and never will reach ‘heaven’.  You can’t obtain ‘heaven’.  You can’t get there.  You can’t find it.  You can’t be welcomed into it, or be taken there.

Why, you ask? 

You are already there.
‘Heaven’ resides within you.
Happiness resides within you.
Joy resides within you.
Love resides within you. 

It never leaves – it can never be taken.  It can never be lost.  It’s always there.  You can only ignore it.  The term heaven is simply a description of an idea where everything is perfect, trouble free, problem free, and where complete and total joy can exist within and around you.  It’s a desired state of being whether in the heart or in the physical or spiritual realms that you want more than where you are now.  It’s different for everyone but the idea is consistent for all.  It’s a statement that everything you have now, everywhere you are, and your current state of being isn’t good enough – and the only salvation from all of ‘this’, is the idea of, or the physical place of, ‘heaven’ – or better clearly said – a place for salvation from your mind, the body, the environment, and mostly from others – in the future.  The idea of heaven always exists as a place for you to get to in the future – a place to save you from your current reality, and your present moment struggles.  It emphasizes and supports the further progression of separation from others, but more importantly, from yourself.  In other words, where you are right now, and who you are right now, is not good enough, and salvation from all of ‘this’ and ‘that’, is in the future. It’s within a different place.  It’s within a different state of being other than where you are right now.

This is also a delusion. Happiness and Joy can never be found in the future – it can only be found right now.  Your life is always now.  Life is now. 

Joy is within you now – so go to it.  Allow your mind and body to become calm so you can experience it.  Many label this meditation – but some of you may not be interested in such terms because you have preset judgments about it.  However, I find it to be one of the best practices to understanding that the love of self is already present within you right now, as well as getting in touch with your true self, and destroying the outside programming forced onto you for most of your life.  It’s the best way to let go of all the clutter, noise, stress, worry, drama, and negativity that seems to be so persistent in life.  If you are not practicing meditation in any way – DO IT.  Start right now, and do it daily.  Do it at home, at work, in your car, while walking, eating, doing dishes etc.

Science is now starting to see the amazing effects of meditation. A recent study showed that meditation reduced physical pain by 57% – while morphine only reduced pain by 25%.

Sit, breathe, and be still. 

Watch your breath. Notice that you’re breathing in, and breathing out.  Your thoughts will run wild, however, do not try to stop them – such an act is like struggling to stop a river from flowing – it’s impossible.  Allow your mind to wander where it wants to go, but do not become attached to the thoughts.  Do not try to direct them.  Just allow.  Just be.  Watch the thoughts.  Allow yourself to rise above them and simply observe.  If you notice yourself following your thoughts, do not get discouraged.  Simply stop, and go back to monitoring your breathing.  With time, this will become easier for you.  The chaos and noise of the mind will simmer down and you will feel your true self.  The part of you that isn’t attached to labels, categories, statuses, placements, groups, or judgments.  The part of you that is free, real, and based purely on love, compassion, and truth.  Embrace yourself.  Embrace the clarity and quiet feelings of peace.  Return to yourself as often as you can. Anytime you feel lost, confused, alone, helpless, insecure, picked on, afraid, worried, or not good enough – go within.

Most people spend their whole life not listening to the most important teacher and messenger they will ever encounter – themselves.  Start listening to yourself instead of corporations.  Start listening to yourself instead of other people, other groups, other ideas, and ways of life.  You don’t need them.  You need yourself.  We are all suffering from a massively common disease called, Lack of Self.  Listen to yourself.  Don’t just hear yourself – listen. 

Go within, and listen.

Related posts:

1. Finding Happiness Within Your Problems
2. Why No One Can Help You
3. Being the Gardener of Your Mind

What are Affirmations?

When searching for ways to increase your happiness and self-esteem, one of the many techniques that comes up over and over again is the use of affirmations.  Affirmations are a form of positive self-talk which may be used to increase happiness by restructuring how you view yourself.

How frequently are you speaking badly about yourself?  How often are you making comments that are you aren’t good enough, not worthy enough, not pretty enough, special enough, skinny enough, or even a good person overall? Do you even recognize that you are saying all these things? Do you recognize how frequently you are saying them?

This repeated abuse really takes a toll on your self-image.  It is interesting to step back and actually look at all the negative things you may tell yourself on a daily basis.  I’m sure you would never treat another individual this way, but yet you do it to yourself? 

Why is it OK to treat your self so negatively?

In order to change this pattern of self-destructive behavior, one may use positive self-talk – or more commonly termed, positive self affirmations.

Positive Effects of Affirmations

At first it may feel silly and pointless to say affirmations and tell yourself that you are beautiful, special, important, and a good person.  However, the more you say them, the more you will start to believe them over time.  Practicing positive self-talk or affirmations daily may be difficult at first, especially if you don’t really believe what you are saying, but stick with them, and trust that you are breaking down the negative programming you’ve learned.  Finding affirmations that are reasonable and that you may even agree with may be helpful.   It is also helpful to begin with one or two positive statements and say those until you begin to believe them and feel more comfortable increasing the amount.

You CAN Make a Change; Affirmations Can Help!

Self-destructive talk is a bad habit, a negative pattern, and a learned trait that is supported and enforced by outside sources such as friends, co-workers, society, and even your close family – but worse than that, you are supporting it yourself.  However, the best part about any habit and pattern is that it can be changed! 

Is it always easy? No.  But can it be done?  YES!

It takes work, dedication, attention, and a high commitment level from you to follow through and not give up.  It has to be your choice, and your self-enforced motivation and drive to make it happen. No one can make the changes for you. No one can change the patterns and habits for you. Only you can do it for yourself.  It has to be personal, real, and you need to have your own purpose and drive for it to work properly.  Otherwise, it’s just a waste of time and another additional outside voice telling you how to be, how to think, and how to live.

Habits are hard to break, and negative habits seem to be the hardest to overcome.  You’ve obtained, created, supported, and enforced those negative habits for a long time, if not the majority of your life – but now it’s time to undo them.  However, it takes time.  It takes patience.  It takes commitment, and work.  But don’t let that bother you – it can still be done.  Allow yourself plenty of time to heal, to adjust, to change, and to reprogram – but do so while maintaining a motivated drive to make a change within you.  People often give up very quickly because they don’t see massive results in a short period of time, but realistically, they give up just before a real breakthrough occurs.  The times when it seems so pointless, stupid, and difficult and without hope, are the times when the greatest breakthroughs are just around the corner.  Don’t give up even though it may feel like giving up is the easier way out.  It always seems easier to cave in and return back to our regular programming, but do your best to fight the urge to fall back down and hide in a false sense of security and internal safety.  It may feel stupid or silly to tell yourself affirmations daily, but don’t give up or allow those judgments and feelings to take over you.  Be honest, open, and true to yourself and really try to let the words sink in and become a part of the meaning and value you assign to yourself.  You already are assigning meaning to yourself with your negative habits, thoughts, comments, and actions – it’s just a matter of changing that meaning to something that is truly benefiting you, instead of harming you and holding you back in life.

It’s simply about changing your patterns, and changing your focus points and structure for repetition.  Repetition is the mother of skill and the father of results.  Persistence is the key to success at any level.  Do not allow giving up or settling back into your negative habits to be an option.  You’ve become great at putting yourself down because you’ve put a lot of time into doing so.  It’s become so normal to you that it’s automatic and effortless now.  It’s clear because ‘being positive’ can feel like ‘work’ and like a struggle to maintain, when really, you’re just going against the normal flow of repetitive actions and thoughts you’ve carried and maintained for years.

All attack is a cry for help, and you more than anyone else may be attacking yourself in a continuous way.  You’re asking for help, you’re asking for attention, you’re asking for love – give it to yourself.  With every major decision in your life, or small event in your day, you are doing one of two things: giving love, or asking for love.  And all your negative comments about yourself certainly aren’t giving yourself love are they? No, I don’t think so.  You must be asking for love.  A little trick is that you can give and receive love to yourself at any time!

You, more than anyone else, deserve your own love. 

Use positive affirmations.  Use them often enough to help begin the process of switching your mental view of yourself from a negative one, into a positive one.  Use a preset list targeted specially towards an area you want to work on such as self-esteem, health, relationships, or create your own customized one.  Feel free to take baby steps to not overload yourself and start out by saying a few lines before building towards full lists.  Saying them in private and in a place where you aren’t afraid of anyone walking in on you will allow you to relax and really absorb the meaning behind what is being said.  Placing reminders around your environment may help to increase the frequency and the likelihood that you will say the affirmations.  Placing a note on the bathroom mirror, or a reminder in your phone may help.  You may also use stimuli from your environment such as the telephone ringing, or stopping at a stop sign as a reminder.  Every time one of these events occurs, you say your affirmation.  Be creative and utilize your everyday life to help remind you to be positive.  Over time, the event will begin to automatically trigger those positive thoughts and you will begin to decrease the frequency of negative self-talk.  This will help to increase self-esteem and happiness overall.

But the truth is, it’s not only what you think and say to yourself that makes a true change in your life and your battle against destructive self-talk and your negative view about yourself.  People often believe they can change themselves completely through simple verbal affirmations alone – but that is untrue – and that is the mistake everyone makes with affirmations.  Learning to change your thoughts is only the first step in the process of reversing destructive self-talk and your negative view about yourself.  The complete process should be considered a lifestyle change, as that is the only way to truly make a drastic difference with the negativity consuming you.  Simple verbal statements are not enough, and without the lifestyle change behind the verbal affirmations, you are merely making pretty statements to cover up the causes and sources for your pain, and it will only continue to haunt you.  We can discuss this further in the next post about how to improve your life through the affirmation process of changing your thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs.

Important things to remember:

• Affirmations may be used to increase happiness by restructuring how you view yourself.

• It may feel silly and pointless to say affirmations at first, but the more you say them, the more you will start to believe them over time.

• Allow yourself plenty of time to heal, to adjust, to change, and to reprogram.

• Don’t give up or quit! Persistence is key!

• Say your affirmations in private, place various reminders to help increase the frequency you say them, be creative with your reminders.

• Learning to change your thoughts is only the first step in the process of reversing destructive self-talk and your negative view about yourself.

• To improve your life you must change your thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs – not just your thoughts. (more posts coming)

• You, more than anyone else, deserve your own love. 

**Note from Shaun:  This post was co-written by a new team member to I Love Myself.net, Jessica, who holds a M.S. in Psychology, and a M.S. in Mental Health Counseling. She will be a consultant, adviser, and co-author of future articles.**

Related posts:

1. 25 Daily Affirmations to Improve Your Self Esteem
2. The Power of Thank You
3. The Greatest Source of Unhappiness in Your Life

There are hundreds of great affirmations you can say to yourself daily to help you increase your self esteem, but here are 25 that I feel are pretty good ones.

Print this list out and keep it by your bed.  Keep it on your cellphone to read over.  Make it into a bookmark.  Keep it above your desk.  Tape it to your mirror in the bathroom.  Get this list somewhere you’ll see it often.  But more importantly than that – utilize it!  Make the choice that it’s time you take over, and destroy the forces that have broken you down.  It’s time to rebuild yourself.  Say these affirmations over and over.  Let these words become embeded in your brain, in your heart, and in your soul. Let these become your truth now.

Stop resisting.  Stop trying to find ways to disprove each one.  Stop trying to find ways to prove them wrong.  Stop trying to hold onto the negativity that others have forced down you. It’s so much work to be negative.  It takes up so much energy.  There is so much resistance towards being happy and loving ourselves.  No wonder many of us feel tired, exhausted, worn out and empty.  We are putting so much effort into NOT loving ourselves.  Now it’s time to put energy into loving yourself and allowing the love to flow again.

Be patient with yourself.  You’ve spent a lot of time learning to hate yourself, and now you need to spend some time undoing that.  Don’t get upset with yourself.  Let go, and allow the words to sink in deeply.  Meditate on them often.  You might notice when you are saying them that it feels good! But also notice how quickly you start coming up with reasons to not believe them.  You may think of experiences where others told you negative things.  You may think of difficult situations and experiences.  You may think of people that you trusted but ended up hurting you, and left you trusting their truth over your own.  It’s time to get your own truth back.  Say these words.  Listen to them.  Trust them.  Trust yourself.  Your natural response is to accept these words because you DO love yourself.  It’s natural for you to love.  The responses you’ve been taught have taken over what is natural.  So now it may be normal for someone to hate themselves, but it definitely isn’t natural.

Hate may be ‘normal’, but Love is natural. 

25 Affirmations to Improve Self Esteem

1.  I deeply appreciate and accept myself.
2.  I forgive myself for all imperfect acts and thoughts, past, present and future.
3.  I love myself unconditionally.
4.  I love all aspects of my mind.
5.  I love all parts of my body.
6.  I accept my imperfections as opportunities to learn valuable lessons in my life.
7.  I do my best and my best is good enough.
8.  I deserve to be happy.
9.  I deserve the very best life has to offer.
10.  I deserve to love myself.
11.  I deserve to be loved by others.
12.  I deserve to love others.
13.  I am my own best friend.
14.  I am compassionate and curious when others criticize me.
15.  I am confident and self-assured.
16.  I celebrate my uniqueness.
17.  I am the best me I can be in each moment.
18.  I trust myself.
19.  I enjoy my own company.
20.  I take responsibility for my own well-being.
21.  I am proud of who I am.
22.  I am a winner.
23.  I am proud of my results and comfortable with my successes and my failures.
24.  I am fun and I have fun.
25.  I am a good person.

[photo credit]

Related posts:

1. Why No One Can Help You
2. Why You Need to Love Yourself
3. Using Conditional Love on Yourself

Happiness.

What do you believe happiness is?  A reader recently emailed me saying that happiness is to be without problems.

I completely disagree.

“Happiness is not the absence of problems; it’s the ability to deal with them” – Steve Maraboli

I recently came across that quote online and it had obviously been passed around a lot through email and website chains.  And while I truly believe it makes a lot of sense and understand it (most might even be amazed at it), I still disagree with it to a point.

You see, that style of thinking still supports the idea that ‘problems’ (or in other words, the concept of “wrong”, “bad”, “negative” etc) exist intrinsically.  But that’s completely false.  Something itself is not a “problem”. You are the one that assigns a situation, an event, or an experience the meaning of being a so-called, “problem”, or “disaster”, or “nightmare” or “miserable situation” or whatever.

“Right” or “wrong” are not natural states of anything.  An act, a situation, an experience, or even an object is not “right” or “wrong” as part of their natural existence, they just are what they are – experiences, situations, or objects.  They have no meaning.  The ability to make something become “right” or “wrong” is due to your own value system making a subjective judgment.  You are the one that creates the ideas, opinions, and judgments towards a thing to give it the identity of being “right”, or “wrong”. Where “right” simply means it works for you, you agree with it, or it serves you in being who you are.  And where “wrong” means you don’t agree with it, it doesn’t work for you, and it does not serve you in being who you are.

A thing is only “right” because you say it is.  A thing is only “wrong” because you say it is.  Period.

So in truth, nothing is “right”, or “wrong”, or “good”, or “bad” until you make it so.  And honestly – all situations are opportunities – chances – and means for you to express yourself, learn, grow, and develop whom you really are now, into whom you really wish to be.

There are no problems in life – there are only opportunities.  And with these opportunities, it is what you think of them, do about them, and be in response to them that gives them meaning.

Meaning controls everything.

The best part is – YOU are ALWAYS in complete control over what you assign meaning to, as well as what the meaning is you assign.  Even if you’ve already assigned a meaning to a specific event – whether consciously, or not – you can change it’s meaning at any time, and therefore change the situation!

I always hear people say that problems are a fact of life – which are unavoidable and it’s best to just deal with them.  Again, I completely disagree with that idea and style of thinking.  What should be stated is that change is often unavoidable.

Life itself is change – continuous change.  In fact, the only constant thing in life itself is change.  The ever ongoing exchange of give and take, offer and receive, death and life, summed up perfectly with one word and concept: Love. Which, I guess means you could say that life itself, is Love.

Is it possible to live a problem free life?

Absolutely.

Choose to.

However, is it possible to live life free of change?

No.

Life is based on an unavoidable eternal truth called the law of impermanence.  What is born must die.  What begins will end.  What is created will be destroyed.  What is new now, will be old later.  Etc.

And it’s all perfection.

The changes currently going on in your life are perfect. You might disagree with that statement because due to those changes, you might be experiencing pain.  Maybe your relationship ended, maybe you lost money, maybe you lost a loved one, maybe you are in a new environment, maybe you are experiencing different responses from people socially – it could be any number of things going on.  They are all changes.  It’s necessary – it’s perfect.

The pain you are experiencing is a result of your resistance to accept change.  You may be holding onto what once was, which may not be there anymore.  You are holding onto the attachments to a previous idea, person, feeling, status, situation, environment, or luxury where now it may not be there anymore.

Let go.

Release your attachments.

Learn to accept change – without judgment, without anger, without resentment or hesitation. Doing so could be the ultimate source and supply to your happiness.  Welcome change.  Have gratitude for the changes going on in your life.  It’s leading you to more growth, expression, new situations and experiences, new people, new love, new challenges – all of which are making you a better person and offering you a never ending supply of adventure and opportunity.

Always carry and express gratitude for what is in your life.  For everyone and everything in your life now – appreciate, appreciate, and appreciate.  Express gratitude daily, moment by moment.  When change happens and something or someone leaves your life, express gratitude for what has left.  Be grateful for the experiences shared, the lessons learned, and the opportunity created. When something or someone new enters your life, express gratitude.

Love is always the answer.

I’m Shaun, just a spirit trying to be human… Thanks for reading.

[photo credit]

Related posts:

1. The Truth about Right and Wrong / Good and Bad
2. Why No One Can Help You
3. How to Stop Wrongful Thinking

The biggest and best changes in your life will always come from the smallest idea, action, or habit.

A fantastic way to add or remove habits in your life is to simply give them a test run.  See how your life is with or without that particular habit.  I’ve done this practice for many years now with various things and have dissolved and obtained many habits as a result of simply trying them out.  I recommend doing it for a month, or 30 days, to get a full, and true experience.  That gives you enough time to be accustomed to the new change, and gives you plenty of time to truly decide if you like living with or without that habit.

I’ve done this little trial with a variety of things, from reading more, going without TV, thinking happier thoughts, being more kind to people, 30 days of yoga, helping a stranger out everyday, switching to vegetarianism, to extreme things like existing in solitude, vows of silence, and living on the streets as a homeless person.

Some things I’ve tried and realized within a few days or a few weeks it wasn’t for me. Other things I tried for 30 days, and am still continuing on with even after years now. One of those was becoming vegetarian.  In August of 2009 I tried it for 30 days, and here it is 2-1/2 years later and I’m still doing it. I love it, and will never go back. It’s been the absolute best thing I’ve ever done for not only my health, but for me overall in my life.  I once lived as a homeless person on the streets of Salt Lake, which has been one of the most incredible and transformational experiences of my life.  I didn’t do it for 30 days, but the experience of it was one of the most important and defining moments of my life.  Even getting rid of TV for a while taught me incredible lessons and brought back my love for reading and learning.  It’s been a few years now since I gave up TV, and still avoid it today. I do watch movies though – ones I selectively choose – the experiment was more to abolish the destructive programming done through the media along with the corporate world and their never ending commercials to buy more, have more, obtain more in order to experience happiness.  Even doing trials where I tell myself everyday that I am amazing, incredible, beautiful and special have made a tremendous impact on my life.  I want you to do the same!

Some of the most amazing things in my life have come about simply by forcing myself to try them out.  Recognizing that I wasn’t happy, and made the choice to have something different. Sometimes I’ve tried things and tossed it aside. Other times it’s completely transformed me.  But without trying things, without going for it, without being completely dedicated and making a change happen, I would have never progressed.  You need to make changes, or changes will make you!! 

I challenge you to open yourself up and make some changes in your life.  Alter and abolish some habits.  We all have things we aren’t happy with and would like to change.  We all have things we’d like to improve on – SO LET’S DO IT! Let’s change our lives!

How to do it.

Identify.  First you need to identify what it is you want to try for the 30 days.  Want to exercise more? Want to read more? Want to eat healthier? Perhaps even simply telling your spouse you love them everyday. Or doing more activities with your children.  Maybe simply telling yourself you are beautiful everyday! You can have more than one at a time if you wish, just keep it simple enough so you know you can focus and dedicate yourself to actually going through with it and not feel too over whelmed.
Purpose. Be clear on your purpose. Know what it is you want to gain from this new adventure.  “I’m going to eat healthier so I can have more energy and focus for my job, my children, and myself.” Having a clear purpose and drive can keep your motivation levels up, and keep you dedicated.
Start.  Let it begin! Set a clear starting point, and a clear ending point. It doesn’t always have to be at the beginning of a new month.  After you’ve identified what it is you want to try with a clear purpose, start on the next available date.  Even start the next morning. Delaying your start date will only give you more time to back out.  The best time to make a change is RIGHT NOW!
Log. Keeping a log of your day will help you stay reminded and motivated to keep going with your trial.  If you’re doing a health change, list how you’re feeling, what you’re eating, what your energy levels are per each day, and how your mindset is.  Plus, it’s nice to look back on and see the progress.
Don’t Give Up.  Implementing a new change is hard at times, especially within the first week or so.  But don’t give up!  Keep going and after a while you’ll notice it become more a part of your daily life.  Do your best to make it the full 30 days.  At the end of the cycle, you can decide whether or not to keep the new habit in your life, or get rid of it.  30 days isn’t a long time to try something, and you might be surprised at how easy it is to merge a new habit in your life, and the benefits it brings.
Keep it going.  If you get to the end of your trial and find that you love the new habit or lifestyle, why stop? Keep it going.  Or maybe you still haven’t decided and need more time; extend it another 30 days, and perhaps another after that.  If you love it completely, make it a permanent part of your life.
Repeat. If you finish a trial on one thing, start up another.  Even if you’ve given up on one before, identify a new one and start over.  Have multiple ones running at the same time.  Always be progressing in life – never sit idle.  Keep it simple and start over.

Good luck! Feel free to let me know what you’re going to do! Remember, it doesn’t have to be a big or tough challenge.  As I said at the top of this post, The biggest and best changes in your life will always come from the smallest idea, action, or habit.  Start small, and keep going.  Be excited and believe in yourself.

I’m Shaun, just a spirit trying to be human… Thanks for reading.

[photo credit]

Related posts:

1. How to Change Your Life Using 5 Words
2. The Greatest Source of Unhappiness in Your Life
3. A Life of Action, or Re-Action. Which is Yours?

It’s the weekend! Finally!  A break from the job, and hopefully some time for you to relax, unwind, have some fun, and get refreshed before that dreaded Monday comes back around.  It’s always nice to relax and get some time away from your work and duties.  Without that time, how long do you think you could last? How quickly do you think you’d burn out and collapse both physically, and mentally?  Taking a break is massively important, and necessary.

But when do you take a break from your challenges and allow yourself to rest and heal?  When do you take a break from beating yourself up and holding on to the negativity in your life?  When do you allow yourself to breathe, clear your mind and your heart, and get a new perspective on things?  When do you allow yourself to stop focusing on what’s “wrong” or missing in your life, and focus on what is wonderful in your life, and how blessed you are now?  When do you give yourself time to let go?

Think about this – really think about it.

When do you allow yourself to let go?  And yes, I just used the word ‘allow’.  Some of you may think that your trials, challenges, and miserable situations are constantly following you around and holding onto you no matter where you go, what day it is, or where you try to hide.

But the truth may surprise you…

Could it be that you are the one holding on to them?

Many of you will easily become upset with me when I say that you are the one holding on to your pain, holding onto your misery, and holding on to your past.  You’ll think I’m crazy, and might even ask how I dare to make such a wild and ‘unprofessional and inaccurate’ statement.  But through that anger filled response reveals the truth about your connection with your victim status.

But why would anyone ever want to hold on to pain, you ask?

Because you need it.  You’ve created and based your identity and your sense of self from it.  To lose your pain, is almost like losing yourself.  It’s like losing your identity – or better clearly stated as, death to the self.  Why would anyone be defensive about his or her pain?  The truth is, it’s treasured.  It’s needed. I’ve been on both sides of this, so trust me – I understand how crazy it can sound.  I’ve become upset when people have said the same things to me during the hardest times of my life, the hardest being the majority of 2011.  I felt they just didn’t want to watch me go through my pain, experience my grief because it was uncomfortable for them – but it was mine. My pain. My grief.  Not theirs.  But those statements alone carried the truth about it. I needed it. I treasured it. It became me.  I didn’t want to let it go.  I absolutely hated it, but needed it just as much. I created who I was through that pain, and letting go of it was letting go of me.  What is scarier than to voluntarily destroy your identity and your sense of self? When you think about it, you might realize it’s our ultimate fear – Death to self.

Suffering is created through resistance to accept what is.  Pain needs the element of time to be created and exist.  And time meaning your past, (or future).  It’s the past because there is a length of “time” between then and now.  Pain can occur by focusing on something that once was, and now is lost.  It was there then, but isn’t now.  Or by focusing on something desired for the future, but dreading that it isn’t here now. Either way, you are not in the present moment.  You are not connected with life.

Life is happening NOW.  Life IS now.

We need to learn to dwell happily in the way things are.  Stop resisting the way life is right now.  Take a break from your past, your problems, your dramas and miserable situations – and the best way to do that is to come to the present moment.  Notice where you are, take in all the colors and textures of the room or the outdoors. Notice the smells.  Notice your body, your breath, and allow yourself to relax and breathe deep, taking in every piece of this moment you can.  Be present. Be here.

Everyone lives their entire day focused on something other than where they are currently.  Some live their entire life this way.  They focus on the past, the future, where they need to go, where they need to be, what they need to do, even what has happened to them previously etc.  Even replaying all those thoughts and details over and over obsessively in the mind, maintaining and supporting the attachment to that pain.

But how much time is focused on the present and where you are right now?  How much do you notice about the world around you? Do you notice the beauty all around? Do you notice the perfection?  Probably not.  Maybe only small glimpses of it here and there – usually only when it benefits you.  You might even roll your eyes at me calling it “perfection”.  How much of your life is controlled NOW by your past?  How much of your life is controlled by your fears, plans, worries, and stresses about the future?

What are you missing?

Life.

You are missing the now.

You are missing everything.

Everything is perfect for you now.  There are no problems.  No tragedies.  No miserable situations.  There is only your reality, and what you think about it.  And what you think about your reality is the cause for your experience of that reality.  What you think, you become.  What you think, you experience.  What you think, ultimately, is.

When you are experiencing pain, start to become aware of not only what you are putting your attention to, but where you are putting your attention.  Where are you focused? Are you dreading experiences from the past? Are you wishing and hoping for alternative experiences in the future?  Let go of that and come back to the present moment.  Give yourself a break from your trials, challenges, and heartache.  Your past is not your life, and your life is not your past, neither is your life the future.   Your life is right NOW, in this moment, at this time.  Right now.  And that’s all there is.  Everything else is an illusion.

You may say, “But I am focused on the present moment, and it sucks. That is where my pain is.  It’s within this present moment.”  And I would ask you “Why? Why does this moment create pain for you?” and your response might be something along the lines of, because you are without money, without possessions, without success, or even without a special person, or without a relationship in general, or that some event happened to you, which is also stating in a different way that you are now without something, whether it be an object, or an idea or feeling. The list could be endless, but the truth is, anything you could provide is an external source.  You still are focusing and attached to the past, or focusing on an alternative future, which could also be tied to the past at the same time – completely skipping over the present moment.  You are constantly focused on external sources as your main supply of happiness and fully believe that if you had that object back, that person back, or that state of mind back again (or even had it at all), THEN you could be happy at this present moment.

The truth couldn’t be more opposite of that.

You have everything you need right now for total and complete happiness and joy.  You’ve always had it.  It’s never left. It’s never been taken.  It can’t be taken.  It can’t be lost or misplaced.  And it is within you now.  It is you.  It’s always been you.  And nothing outside of you can ever replace that or duplicate the kind of love that you can provide for yourself.  There’s nothing more beautiful than you.  There’s nothing more wonderful than you.  There’s nothing more pure, worthy, and deserving of your love than you.  Don’t punish yourself for thinking otherwise – forgive yourself.  Our society is based on buying more things, having more things, becoming more, and chasing after the idea and the addictive mentality that you NEED more, and more, and more, and program a false truth within you that you won’t be happy or complete until you have more of this or more of that, whether it be an object, another person, a status, or state of mind.  It’s programmed into us from our childhood and maintained and supported for the rest of our life… well, unless you choose otherwise.

Love is always that answer, and you have an unlimited supply of it within you always.

I hope you all have a wonderful, amazing, inspirational, relaxing, and refreshingly joyful weekend.

I’m Shaun, just a spirit trying to be human… Thanks for reading.

[photo courtesy: Mr. Littlehand]

Related posts:

1. How to Change Your Life Using 5 Words
2. How to Love Yourself When No One Else Does
3. How to Stop Wrongful Thinking

Hey everyone! I’ve been wanting to do a less formal newsletter to send out thoughts, stories, insight, and maybe some wisdom to all you readers, so I’ve created a little I Love Myself.net newsletter. Even though I wouldn’t really call it a newsletter, because I won’t really be sharing ‘news’. But more just a way for me to send out thoughts on a more personal level, and expound on some ideas that might be easier for you to connect with. These will go straight to your inbox, and I’ll write whenever I feel the urge to write – and you can even reply back with your thoughts.

There is a new sign up link at the top of the page, or you can just sign up below. I promise there is no spam, and you can unsubscribe at any time.  Thanks for reading, and I hope to connect with you all soon! SIGN UP!!

Related posts:

1. Welcome to I Love Myself.net. What is this all about?
2. More From Shaun About This Site
3. How to Love Yourself When No One Else Does

Life is a flowing current – like a stream.  Sometimes it flows calm and smooth, and you barely notice it is going by, offering times of joy, happiness, free of issues or difficulties.  The view is nice, temperature just right, the flow is slow, smooth, and comfortable.  It can seem like heaven.  Other times, the rapids are fast and furious and can toss you around like a rag doll bringing you pain, misery, and leaving you struggling to gasp for air.

We are always moving down the stream of life.  And in truth, we have no other choice about it.  There’s no way we can’t go with this flow.  But what we do have is a choice about how we handle going down this stream.  Life itself is change – continuous change.  In fact, the only constant thing in life itself is change.  The ever ongoing exchange of give and take, offer and receive, death and life, summed up perfectly with one word and concept: Love. Which, I guess means you could say that life itself, is Love.  But regarding this natural flow of life, there is so much time, money, energy, emotion, and overall life invested in trying to go against this natural flow of life.  It’s almost like working to do the impossible because really, it IS impossible.  You can give it everything you have to keep yourself upright, struggling to be swept away by the current to be tossed and turned and destroyed by the rocks, maybe even go down a waterfall or two.  You can put forth a massive battle against these rough waters, only to eventually look around and notice that you haven’t moved anywhere.  You’ve simply maintained your current state.

Do you ever feel that way? That you are working so hard, struggling so much, and suffering so greatly only to realize you haven’t moved anywhere at all? Perhaps your efforts have been directed towards moving backwards, in attempt to return to the state when things were “good”, “calm”, and “happy”? Or simply your efforts were put towards NOT allowing yourself to go through the rough waters which seem to be ahead?  But what kind of life is that?  Using every part of your energy and life on staying idle? Why would you want to go backwards anyway?

Here’s a tip for you:  Your past is not your life.  Your life is not your past.  And those jagged rocks and rough waters ahead might be the best thing for you and your life.

Here’s a journal entry I recently wrote while going through a very challenging part of my life.

“Sometimes I think I need to stop trying to swim against this raging river, and just let myself flow down, get tumbled and tossed around, probably get banged up on a few rocks.. maybe go down a waterfall or two. But all rivers eventually settle somewhere. If anything, it’ll eventually slow down enough for me to jump out.  By the time I reach those calm waters, I’ll have nothing but gratitude. Because I’ll get out and look around and realize I’ve been carried to something beautiful. A paradise.

My new plan of action:  Surrender.”

Some of you may detest the idea of surrendering or giving up your power or control.  But the truth is, surrendering isn’t giving up your power – it’s utilizing it.  Going with the flow isn’t giving up control, it’s embracing it.  And you’re not really living until you allow yourself to let go of every moment and attachment to life you knew before this current moment.

Allow yourself to do one thing in life:  Let go.

Let go of your drama’s.

Let go of your worries.

Let go of your fears.

Let go of your struggles.

Let go of your expectations.

And most of all, let go of your past!

Let yourself flow down this stream of life and trust that you will be taken care of, because you will.  Life can sure bring a lot of storms – but it’s you that assigns them the role of being a “disaster”.  Nature carries no judgment at all, and simply sees those storms as part of the natural flow of things, or even “necessary” for life itself to continue.  You should carry the same outlook.  Don’t place judgment on the storms and tough waves in your life.  See them as necessary, and beautiful, and be grateful for them.  All things are temporary in life, and that goes for what you call good and bad things.  Everything that composes must decompose.  Everything that begins, will end.  Everything that is born, will die.  We see it endlessly as a natural law in nature, and it remains true for ourselves.  Big storms with raging winds come through, but then they subside.  Heavy rains fall, but then they stop.  Complete forests burn to the ground entirely, leaving hardly anything remaining – yet the unnamed force behind it all finds a way to replenish that forest naturally, bringing forth new life to take it’s turn on the table of time.  Nature takes it’s course and flows in a way that is simply beautiful when you take a step back and look at the entire perspective.

Are you and I not a part of nature?  Of course we are!  Don’t you think we are subject to the same natural flow?  Those hard times you experience, they will pass.  Just as the storm in nature comes with it’s fury, then passes on to reveal blue skies, sunshine, blooming plants, and fresh new life – all made possible because of the storm.  Those moments when you feel you can’t hold on any longer – they will pass.  The crashing waves, rising tides, and sense of being tossed around endlessly in a chaotic disaster of emotion, stress, and hopelessness – it will pass.  And each time those storms pass, you’ll be left with so much more knowledge, experience, truth, and life!

But you have to allow it to!  Stop trying to go against the current.  Stop trying to maintain your current position, or even backtrack to a time when things were calm and comfortable.  That is wasted energy, wasted time, and wasted life.  Allow yourself to flow through the hard times with a heart full of gratitude, knowing that those hard times are only temporary and in fact necessary for your happiness, and the calm waters and paradise settings are waiting ahead of you – they always are.

Learn to trust that everything will be alright.  Learn to trust that everything you need and want is being brought to you and that maybe these hard times you’re going through is the process of how you are being offered something more beautiful.  But are you open to receiving it? Are you allowing it to flow into your life?  Learn to see that everything you need for happiness in your every day life right now has already been given to you.  Learn to look at the current storms in your life with a heart full of gratitude, because you know that they are necessary as part of the natural flow that is bringing you something more beautiful and wonderful.  Carry that gratitude with you all day as you deal with the events going on in your life.  Surrender yourself, and allow yourself to flow like water down a stream.  You know our bodies are made up of mostly water right?  Learn to trust yourself.  Learn to see yourself as worthy of being given what you want and what you desire and allow yourself to receive it and be open to how it is delivered to you.  Allow yourself to flow like water through the calmness and fury of the stream of life – maybe learn to laugh and have fun riding the waves – and watch as the storm passes and you are presented with happiness, peace, joy, and love.

I’m Shaun … just a spirit trying to be human.  Thanks for reading.

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1. Learn to Stop Hating Yourself
2. How to Change Your Life Using 5 Words
3. How to Love Yourself When No One Else Does