* I Smell Bear

I Need Some Space!

2008-11-20T15:05:00.000-08:00

I'm going to focus on finding a job and preparing for interviews and writing, so I may disappear for a while. But I'll be back, and when I return, I'll be better than ever! I thank you for understanding that I need some space, and that I don't mean to be less than generous right now. xo

Men Without Shirts!!!

2008-11-16T17:36:00.000-08:00

Today was the ultimate perfect best day ever! If only it were my birthday as well, I think I'd be dead now.I woke up this morning just on time to meet someone for a tennis game at Buena Vista Park, just down the street. It was already warm out at 8:30 in the morning, and so many people were out walking their dogs. I got to the courts and sat on a rock wall while I waited for my partner, watching

I'm Off To Play Me Some Tennis

2008-11-13T07:39:00.000-08:00

That's right, suckas, It's Thursday morning, which, when you're unemployed, is like any Saturday morning, except quieter. After tennis I have a phone interview, then a doctor's appointment, then I'll have a few hours to look for a job.Matty's birthday has happened, but we're going to celebrate on Sunday. Every day in November counts as Matty's birthday.

Happy Birthday, Matty!!!!!!

2008-11-12T07:54:00.000-08:00

Today Matty is just a little bit older than me, as he will always be, no matter how many birthdays he amasses, a sparkling pile of years that collect like grains of sand in the bottom of a very large hourglass. Still spry despite time's ravages, Matty has escaped the toll that the decades can take and I only hope that I fare just as well as he has. I've always looked up to Matty as a sort of

Yesterday

2008-11-09T11:23:00.000-08:00

I went for an extra-long run. I passed this group of possibly homeless people (they had sleeping rolls & shopping carts). As I jogged by, one asked me something inappropriate & insulting (clue: it had to do with the fact that he's a man and I'm a woman). I ran on for about 50 feet, but the question kept ringing in my ears, and with every step I got angrier and angrier. I mean, I've done this so

Balls! Big, Hairy, Sweaty Balls!

2008-11-07T22:01:00.000-08:00

I was this close -> <- to landing a job at Stanford University Press. . . I'd been through three interviews, and though they gave me that depressing story about me being "overqualified," I think I managed to convince them that though I'm super educated and though I can write, that doesn't make me overqualified to publicize books. I was told that I was one of the top candidates and that I'd be

This Is My Favorite Scene from The American Astronaut

2008-10-30T17:15:00.000-07:00

I watched it this afternoon, and while the plot is too unresolved and the crazy professor narrator seems kind of one-dimensional, this movie is visually quite stunning, and the director/writer/star, Cory McAbee, did a great job of marrying image to sound in this interesting little film, which I think borrows a bit from David Lynch and Sam Shepard. There's this bit about how the narrator can't

Dilemma

2008-10-25T23:48:00.000-07:00

On Friday I woke early. I went running, and then I rode my bike to Matty's place. After talking for a bit, we walked his dog to the Sutro Baths and sat on a wall. It was so warm out we didn't need jackets, and for the first time in a long while I realized that being alone is kind of great. I like forging ahead without having to accommodate anyone else. Even though lately things have been less

How to Walk From Our House to The White House

2008-10-20T09:53:00.000-07:00

Use caution – This route may be missing sidewalks or pedestrian paths.Walking directions to US Executive Mansion2,864 mi – about 39 days 2 hours xxx Belvedere StSan Francisco, CA 941171. Head south on Belvedere St toward Frederick St 404 ft2. Turn right at Frederick St 315 ft3. Turn left at Cole St 0.1 mi4. Turn right at Parnassus Ave 0.4 mi5. Slight left to stay on Parnassus Ave 0.3 mi6.

Indignity

2008-10-16T14:43:00.001-07:00

Indignity #1I was let go and I lost my job. Bleah.Indignity #2Last night I was walking up Haight street when I passed a young guy who was holding a cardboard sign that said "I bet you a dollar you will read this sign." Though I sometimes give a dollar to a young woman who sings, I didn't hand the man my money. I passed him, and when I passed something sharp struck me in the middle of my back. It

Wanna Join My Commune?

2008-10-13T21:24:00.000-07:00

My housemate is in the midst of securing a place for her elderly mother. Which got me to thinking.When those of us who are between 30 and 50 years old, those many of us who don't have children — when we turn 70, we'll need to face those years with courage. I looked at this site called The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. They say 6 million people today have late-life depression, but only

Wanna Get High?

2008-10-10T21:10:00.001-07:00

Then go running in the panhandle, where you'll pass through cloud after cloud of pot smoke. Which, for people like me who don't get that endorphin rush, that so-called "runner's high" that's supposed to be so great? I guess the secondhand high is a substitute feeling. But man, I really wish that people wouldn't smoke anything next to the path. Because you know, when I'm running as hard as I can,

San Francisco

2008-10-06T17:05:00.000-07:00

Isn't really a very friendly place. I've made a few friends here, and most of them, I've lost. Don't know why, really. I'm kind to everyone I know, and I've always been fairly helpful, and I try to look nice, too. And overall, I'm pretty smart. But maybe I'm not generous enough. Or maybe I don't have enough to give, is what I mean.I wish the world was smaller. I feel really insignificant

This Weekend I Saw Bonnie "Prince" Billy TWICE!!!

2008-10-03T17:56:00.000-07:00

* But for those who don't have the patience to read as I go on and on about Will Oldham, I want to slip in a link to this great article by Steven Millhauser, about the difference between the short story and the novel. OK! So the first time I saw Will Oldham was on Friday. A very nice friend of mine found tickets to a sold-out show at the Swedish American Hall. The interior of the Swedish American

A Political Rant, By Ingrid

2008-10-01T18:00:00.000-07:00

First, I apologize to you if your views don't match mine. I don't want to argue right now. I just want to rant.SO, I hear tell that some voters don't like Barack Obama because he speaks like an "intellectual." They feel he's talking down to them. If you are one of those people, I have some news. Barack Obama isn't talking specifically to you. He cannot see you through the television screen! You,

If Only I Were A Housecat, Or A Five-Year-Old Child; If Only I Could Go Fishing And Bathe In Rivers, Like I Used To. . .

2008-10-01T09:25:00.000-07:00

I've spent the past few days here in my room, scanning the want ads for jobs. So far, it doesn't look too promising – I can either donate my few remaining & withered eggs, or I might offer my services as a person who works on commission assisting people who assist small businesses to become bigger via their corporate interface startup program. Soon, perhaps, Alaska will need a new governor, and

But Why, If I'm Running 3 Miles A Day, Am I Not Losing Weight?

2008-09-29T21:50:00.000-07:00

Wow, looking for a job takes a lot of time! I feel like I'm working just as hard at applying for things as I did at my full-time job! And then there's all the paperwork involved with being unemployed, the COBRA insurance, the lapsing 401k. . . and, of course, my ex-employer made an error that I will have to straighten out over the phone. I'm discovering that a few of the jobs being advertised are

I just dropped off my family

2008-09-23T11:01:00.000-07:00

at the BART station, after a three-day visit. It (the visit) was almost more than I could handle, as my family's criticisms cut very deep. The thing is, I'd rather be happy than wealthy. I'd rather spend ten dollars at an independent bookstore than five for the same thing at a chain. I spoil myself in certain ways because I like to feel pretty. But ultimately, as long as I have food, friends, and

Haight Ashbury Unemployment Prayer September 2008

2008-09-19T16:06:00.000-07:00

I don't enjoy talking to most people about politics. When people get emotional about a candidate or an issue their speech becomes illogical, flecked with untested opinions and hateful caricature. If we listened as much as we spoke, this life could be everything. And this life is all that we have.* * *Quotes for Today"Adversity introduces a person to himself." — Epictetus"When I do good, I

Bummer

2008-09-18T09:43:00.001-07:00

I applied for a job on craigslist because I really loved the way the ad was written. I thought I could do this job, and just from the sound of the ad, I figured I would enjoy working at this place - it sounded like a fun office, full of neat people. I received the following response - it's very sweet, I know, but it's also kind of a bummer - there really aren't many jobs out there for us

Sarah Palin Can See Russia From Her Home

2008-09-16T11:22:00.000-07:00

I don't have a TV, and because of this I often feel very out of touch - it seems like most people I talk to make references to shows and actors with whom I'm not at all familiar. For the most part, I'm happy that I don't watch TV - but I do miss seeing the Olympics, and I always used to love watching Saturday Night Live. I'm off to the doctor's, and I'm terrified that they will find something

Writer David Foster Wallace found dead at home

2008-09-14T10:19:00.000-07:00

Oh my god. I'm so sad about this. What the . . .

Have You Ever Been In

2008-09-11T15:10:00.000-07:00

a situation where something bad happened to you and you wound up having to console the people around you because you realize that the bad thing that happened to you is affecting them, in that they wind up simultaneously worrying about you and feeling guilty that the bad thing didn't happen to them, but to you? And maybe you start to realize that the bad thing doesn't really affect others at all

Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Woody Allen's Latest Film, Is

2008-09-07T20:26:00.000-07:00

a) a brilliant and subtle comment on how flat, vague, and remote we are, despite (or maybe because of) our ability to travel, observe, create, and socializeb) a flat, vague movie written and acted with too much removeAnswer: _________________________In Vicky Cristina Barcelona, two friends — Christina (Scarlet Johansson) and Vicky (Rebecca Hall) — fly to Barcelona for a couple of months so that

WHY??? WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY?

2008-09-04T18:03:00.000-07:00

Well, it looks like I'm going to have all the time in the world to write - my resume! I was laid off today. It's going to be okay, but to be perfectly honest, I'm scared. Yesterday I got my hair cut, and I'm not too fond of how it looks, though I guess it's a professional haircut. To my way of thinking it's a bit severe and old-ladyish, but okay, maybe it's a good "job interview" cut. I don't