I Survived It All

2014-07-07T18:13:00.001-07:00

So even 10 days were too many for me to totally stick to something, stopped tracking by day 3. Oh well I clearly need to remember different ways for different times of the year. So many years in an only hot climate will do that to you.
BUT, I am still studying and working on my health pretty full time. I have what Tim calls, REBEL medication, and am taking drug medication too, to put my thyroid in stasis while I work on my hypothalamus and pineal gland. I think they are the culprits and lots of love Lemon Balm Reiki and real care, will make them feel better and get back into the rhythm. That makes me think I've been craving that drum for more than I knew, Oh My Whatever. RHYTHM, that could have more to do with this than I ever thought possible, both of those glands work with rythms, my rhythms need work. Fark epihany. Letter from Tim, I think they help me to be me.
Most of my diet is good, but I continue to struggle with my sugar addiction, but I still try, I haven't given up in hopelessness.
I am drinking lots of lemon balm tea, I wasn't sure if that was going to make any difference, but remembered how much faith I'd had in plants for healing. Plants for healing came from a time when there wasn't criminal, immoral amounts of money to made from drugs, and people were just helping other people to heal and be well. Looking after each other, and I have seen people healed from some pretty big stuff, and been healed myself when medicine couldn't get my stafflococus under control, eccinachea and yarrow tea made with Tims loving hands fixed me, 2 years of medicine and anticeptics and antibiotics hadn't been able to. I was thinking that perhaps just an infusion wasn't strong enough, but these massive amounts of herbs being made by drug companies aren't dinkum, they're just after money too, and healing, like food preperation should be done from a place of love and real care.
I love me and the family and life I have, I'd like to enjoy some of the years I have left being well and enjoying said family, friends and life.
Lemon Balm Tea, REBEL medicine and staying off cafiene and gluten and beating this evolutionary addiction to sugar, and I will be well.

2014-06-18T03:06:00.000-07:00

Day 4
Still cold, no lemon drink, no juice yet, 1 decaf, even less white rooiboss. This is working two meals no snacks in between.
Maybe I'll get the vegies out of the fridge tonight and have a juice around morning tea that isn't too cold. Celery Carrot and Parsley, I add apple or something sweet to make it better.
I haven't weighed myself and it could be tricky cos I was bloated and heavier than my usual weight at the start. Really swollen around the ankles and a small amount all over. Pretty sure my liver was swollen.

2014-06-18T03:02:00.000-07:00

Day Three
Easier than I thought, I didn't start with the lemon drink and haven't had a juice yet, but it's really cold here at the moment, not juice or cold drink weather at all.
No sugar cravings and no longer craving the milk drinks, I did have one sweetened decaf with milk n sugar and I've been having white rooiboss. Getting there I think.

2014-06-15T06:00:00.001-07:00

DAY TWO
It went ok, I started with the lemon drink again, still didn't make a juice or totally eat healthy food, but also still didn't have lollies or milk drinks. We have some yummy milk alcohol drinks too, the alcohol easy for me to resist, flavoured milk, sooooo hard. I didn't break out but we didn't get the davit and anchor moved from under the clothes line either. BUT I hosed it down there this evening while I hung the washing out. I'll get my plastic rug out onto the grass and begin moving stuff, I'll get them to put Jo's stuff close to where it will go and get some stuff moved.
So basically this ten day liver cleanse, is about 6 days of prepping the body, 1 day of juice cleanse and 3 days after that of raw or at least super healthy food. Feels like it's happening though, I'm not really eating very healthy food, but I'm not eating very unhealthy food.
For other people who drink alcohol, coffee , coke n eat fried food all the time, it could be more difficult i think. I've been mostly cafeine free for 18 months now and mostly gluten free for nearly as long, so head start.
BUT the gym is happening, so lets see if this one can actually become a lifestyle, I wonder what people treat themselves with when they don't eat chocolate??????

2014-06-14T18:17:00.000-07:00

DAY ONE
Anyway it's nearly lunch time, but it's Saturday, so I've just been hangin out watching telly. I've had one hot lemon balm tea, and am now having a decaf coffee, with both milk and sugar. It's all better than the sugar and mascarpone fest I've been on.
I have made a pot of lemon balm tea, I'll jug or bottle it and drink it and perhaps another during the day. I finally understand how people can not drink enough without sweating all day long. It's been raining since about November, and it's been cool so I don't sweat and don't get thirsty.
BUT I'll drink the tea at room temperature, the cold is killing my teeth, which are also being killed by graves disease.
So I'm using the chicken mince, garlic, ginger, mushrooms, broccoli, grated carrots, cubed sweet potato, pumpkin, beans, mini capsicums, zucchini, fresh herbs from my garden, pepper and eggs to bake a brekkie blast, what did I call this thing? Anyway that will b lunch today. Tea to be decided, but i still have vegetables, though I'm kind of short of money until next weekend, I'll be healthy and frugal this week.
I have woken with less pain in my mouth and throat, the Reiki helps, I'll make some time every day for some Reiki.
Today I'll join Sportsworld, twice a week aquarobics, twice a week laps and a play with some equipment a few times a week, who knows, I may end up being a big time gym junkie. I saw a house n shed in Portsmith, it's really weird, but I love it, and it has a huge shed, and an office at the front, could be a business address for Indigo Moon. AND it's close to Sportsworld. I hope it's a goer.
I think it may be time I prepared some food for this healthy eating regime.
So, craving rubbish, just because my mind knows I don't want to have it, I've eaten a lot, but healthy ok to eat stuff.

Just what we had in the fridge, makes me realise we do basically have a healthy diet, gotta stop those lolly runs at night.

I ate quite a bit of the fruit plate, to help with the sugar cravings. We have more fruit than that, but the weather is cold and fruit isn't being eaten so readily, so I stopped there.
Well, beginning this liver cleanse has been nice n easy, cos I've gone easy with this one, I'd like one to work, and work so well that I do it once a month easily, and hopefully lose tons of fat and actually get on top of my health. I know that my fat issues are related to my Autoimmune disease, and of course it's less of a worry than losing fat like crazy. BUT I need to be healthy, HEALTH IS MY BUSINESS, I NEED TO HAVE IT, AND I NEED TO LOOK LIKE I HAVE IT TO SELL. THOSE ARE THE FACTS AS THEY ARE. I NEED MONEY SO I'D BETTER LOOK LIKE I UNDERSTAND HEALTH REALLY SOON, AND RUN A SERIES OF REIKI WORKSHOPS.

2014-06-13T07:04:00.000-07:00

It's 11.42pm here, it will show a different time, like some kind of google time, or maybe grenwich maybe not. BUT here in Cairns its 11.43pm on Friday 13th June. I've just totally farked up as much as is possible, again it's like a built in self sabotage accessory. As soon as you decide to lose some fat, all you can think about is food!!! AND eat eat eat.
So I've been reading, I've gleaned what looks like some of the most sensible information on the highway. I'll actually blog this and see how I go, but I think ten days is a suitable detox, then adding some of these things to a regular diet can only help.
THEN sticking with 80/20, but 95/5 for gluten free, that one makes me feel bad, and could be the reason for little itches beginning on m forearems.
I did have a really slack effort for work, I feel a little afraid i have Dengue, our house is in the thick of the plague area, and we have no screens. But I need to remember that my body is killing itself, a big malfunction that requires much of my time. I've really got to get that into my head. Seem to have swollen glands again, make my throat hurt, I'll get some blue velvet going actually.
I must get this Reiki stuff moving so that I can pay money onto my credit card n get my teeth fixed, my car fixed, and my general health fixed. So beginning tomorrow I will do a ten day detox and keep an actual daily blog.

Begin with hot water and citrus squeezed in to it, I'll add lemon balm for my graves disease.
Have 2 of these then a cup of rooiboss with breakfast.

Juice if it is convenient now, but daily. If you don't have a juicer, buy V8 or similar.

Breakfast is a hash of mince or sausage, vegies, herbs and eggs, cooked up to be a high protein, yummy, filling quick n easy meal. We'll call it adjective slice.
Or porridge
Or fruit, plenty of it
Or pumkin and corn bread
Or pancakes, all gluten free.

LUNCH
I think some similar sort of hash pre prepared to take to work or have at home without dedicating too much time to a healthy lunch.
OR salad
Or slad sandwich or roll
Or a curry
I'll add dinner and acceptable sweet treats as I go. So ni night, I'll be back tomorrow to keep track of how I go. Night me, talk to me in the morning.

2014-05-28T03:22:00.001-07:00

May 28th, another month n a bit has passed, I'm sure there's tons to tell myself, but I'm just short of time. Study is going ok, but I decided to stick to an actual program, like doing the lessons each week, so that's 6 lessons, 6 days, n I still work 4 days, of couse they put my stuff online 2 weeks late so I'm madly catching up. It's just something I would really like to try, I've always skated by doing everythig at the last moment. Last yar, because of my job, not cos I was slack, I did all the work in the last 3 weeks, I got 2 credits, 2 distinctions and 2 high distinctions, I should kick arse if I actually stick with this doing it the right way. MAYBE what if I do well cos it's all fresh in my short term memory, but I haven't really learned anything.
I'm still trying to build a website, not having much luck with it probably lack of time to learn, also I could be thick.
Husbands n partners hey, how farked are they??? I'm sick n he's gonna cook for me, bacon and eggs, I asked for tomato, mushrooms n baked beans too, the look happens. It's less effort than I go to for meals all the time, even more effort when he's sick, oh well such is life.
I believe that if you prepare food with love and care it's better for the people who eat it, I'll never know what that's like, cos having meals cooked for me isn't something I'm used to.
So planing retreats, n planning an event for work, n planning to get my study finished, planning to retire and live on our boat for a while, seems like nothings ever actually happening, just planning all the time. We've had that yacht since 2011, n now it needs work cos it's sat there so long, I don't think spending my life with a Libran was my best plan, cos planning I do while he sits on the fence never actually doing anything. Retirement will force that soon, sooner than he realises. Cos that retiring at 70 shouldn't effect us, we're too close now.
Oh yeah, I wanted to use this to keep track of my Graves disease progress, I'm feeling better sometimes, and know this medication is doing it's job, even though the doctor thinks this is just the start of treatment. I know a lot of the problem is my hypothalamus, so I'll try to work on that lots.
I took some GinSeng, it made me full of energy and hot at night, so clearly not the right thing. I haven't had any smoko for a few days n had headaches, my bloo pressure is too high without it, and our guy has moved to Townsville, n the main guy has moved to New Guinea, that's shit, my herb garden clearly needs new herbs.
Ok blahdie blahd enough now, State of Origin is on. Bye me

2014-05-17T15:45:00.000-07:00

Liver cleanse didn't last, visitors sleeping in the lounge stopped me juicing. Still eating well and trying my best to stay off wheat. I will begin the cleanse again, it was quite good and not too far from my actual diet.
I thought that I had issues with my hypothalamus the doctor told me it was my thalamus, I believed him that I was wrong. My studies this week showed me that I had been correct, knowing this is going to help me get some real healing done. I think ginseng is my next thing to try, hope I can find some fresh at the Asian shops.
The medication is helping, I just wish I'd remember to take all of the doses I should, but who remembers to take a pill 3 times a day? I need to be really well to operate a retreat with any sort of integrity.
I think with this government in power my workplace won't be funded again so I need to be prepared. I think I know what to buy, getting the money is a bit tricky. I'll rent what I have to and look for grants to run one for youth or survivors of sexual assault or domestic violence. It takes time, I have study, work and mouldy walls that require lots of attention, or maybe the dry season to start, IT"S MAY.
I hope my drum and school books arrive soon, I'm nervous about this drum, there were good and terrible reviews about this company, it's been 11 days since they sent me the notice of it being sent, from Melbourne. Fark.

Began building my website, went back into it and it was all wrong, all the editing I did seemed to be gone, in fact there was a completely different template, I did hit save, but guess there's more for me to learn. OH well.
Ok, dear diary, I have some stuff I'm thinking about, but I need to study, running these retreats is my retirement

Indigo Moon Back and better

2014-04-29T18:43:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since i wrote here, so busy or so something.
Anyway, had a job looking after young indigenous people taken from their families n living in residential care. Overnight, supposed to sleep, shittest job I've ever had. I worked on a potatoe harvester in the Dandenongs, freezing!
THEN I came over to Respect, a Sex Worker support and education organisation, I love it, 20 hours a week, the nicest people to work for, kind, understanding, pro-active. BUT there's low money, I couldn't live off it. Still studying though, Diploma in Shiatsu, so far I've done Massage Therapy 1, Remedial Massage 1, Shiatsu 1, Acupressure 1, Communication 1, Anatomy and Physiology1, still haven't even begun my studies this year, I think the transition might be a bit of a fark up.
BUT, I believe that my long dreamed of Retreats are about to come into fruition.
SO this just became a to do list, I've moved it to a to do list.
I'm busy planning and preparing so that I can run a retreat this year, and some Reiki training. I seriously doubt that this government will be funding a program for sex workers, even one that's focus is HIV and Hep C, right in their target groups. Oh well, this kick starts me to my Indigo Moon phase of life. Cool, thanks shitty government. Queensland, never known for their benevolence, will just love having Tony Abbot to back them.
I'm going to look for grants in the private sector to get me kick started, and to get some good healing to the peeps who need it and can't afford it.
Think I'll aim the first ones at Domestic and family violence, then maybe Youth ? Very maybe, then Alcohol and Other Drugs. I'm thinking, I'll make the group match the funding opportunities.

I've finally got myself a drum, looking online and was attracted by a carved star on a drum, it actually looked like a star fish, in the picture, so I looked a bit more, there it was, a mahogany drum with a dragon carved out, you know, so the dragon is out not in, it's awesome. I just went to look at it and found two very scary reviews saying that they didn't receive their drum, but many who were very happy. But the websites all munted, I'll look into it, I really like the dragon djembe, and mahogany seems to have a nice deep tone.
I'd like to have some months getting back into the swing and learning new ways to offer some great experiences, ready for the big beginning.

I think that Cape Tribulation and out that way is perfect for healing, I'm heading out that way to find the perfect place, over the next few months people out that way will be getting to know me. YAY, Dream come true.

2013-05-12T06:25:00.000-07:00

I may be losing this epic battle with my sugar addiction, the McFlurry I had this evening tells me that. I have begun to search articles about why sugar is bad for us, the first search brought up 224,000,000 results in 17 seconds, making me think that many people feel very strongly about this topic.
The first one I read says sugar isn't bad as long as we have it in moderation, this was referring to sugars from fruit and kind of ignoring processed cane sugar, n that's what I'm talking 'bout.

"We actually need sugar; it's our body's preferred fuel," says Dr. David Katz, director of the Yale University Prevention Research Center. "But we eat too damn much of it."

Naturally occurring sugar -- which gives fruit, some veggies, and milk their sweet taste — is perfectly healthy. It's added sugar (sweeteners put in during processing and prep) that we need to not OD on.

http://edition.cnn.com/2012/10/30/health/sugar-bad

OK I know that bit about naturally occurring sugars, that’s why I love water melon and oranges. Processed cane sugar didn't get a mention .

I’m having trouble with lots of sites timing out, maybe that means I don’t need to know this information!!!!

So far that fact that I have had to stop eating wheat has been the best thing for me, my old best friend and worst enemy TimTams are no longer on my menu.

I became a grandmother on May 11th, a beautiful baby girl, Aurora, I want to live long enough to enjoy time with young Rory as she grows up so this battle will rage on.

I'll add a photo of the life saving princess soon.

Even though I'm my only reader, I'll continue to blog my battle.

2013-04-23T22:33:00.001-07:00

So giving up sugar may be too hard, hate to be defeatist already but, faaark sugar is like air!!!!!!!
Anyway I went to the huge rip off organic store, I spent an outrageous amount of $$$s on chocolate, it has unprocessed, much better for me sugar, I'll wean myself, I know right?
It's all gone, and like any diet, when you are trying to go on a restriction of food for weight loss, health, preparing for a sports event or surgery, all you can think about is food, primarily the food that is being restricted.
So will power is what I need, well kind of won't power, or will to won't power!!!!
Lets see how I go, I have had plenty of sugar but very little processed sugar, that could be a plus.

2013-04-22T18:42:00.004-07:00

It's been a long time since I blogged, 'cos I live such a boring life. The weather is cooling down and becoming that beautiful Cairns weather we came here for. Time to go sailing.

I'm heading to Darwin for the Birthday and day of her giving birth of my beautiful daughter. I hope not the same day but these things are out of our hands, if we do it right.

After that time to get sailing, I plan to snorkel that Barrier Reef as much as I can this dry season, there should be good photos. Gonna get real diving gear next n have the best retirement we can manage.
Will have to get as many trips in as we can while the weather is right.
Need a good shipwright to make nice sleeping quarters, till then on deck under a mozzie net is nice.

BUT for now I have a challenge for myself, to lose my sugar addiction, it's HUGE, I've had this addiction for as long as I can remember, I call it a sweet tooth, but its an addiction.
So I try to cut it down first, pretty hard with the habits I have, n how I love to eat sugary foods. BUT mozzies n other bugs love sugar too, and I'm going to do mobs of research into why sugar is a poison in our bodies to try and make myself give it up. Maybe I'll make a movie, "the Clockwork Orange Lollie" kind of thing. Anyway less sugar than usual in my decaf this morning, and none since. See how I go. :)

2012-06-01T20:17:00.001-07:00

I have another theory!!!
BIG TOUGH AUSIE BLOKES DO NOT GET DEPRESSED, they just live with bitches.
I know right??!!
I realised this a lot of years ago, but find it may be more prominent in the Territory, but statistics tell me it's all over this fine country of ours.
So women think about how much we facilitate this behaviour, think about how many generations we want to keep behaving this way. How many do we want to lose to suicide after all those years of care? Or do we just not want to be glad, years of untreated depression will do that, and alcohol and ganja are not treating it, just accelerating the process.
I now live with a not tough Ausie bloke, who doesn't blame for every feeling he needs to confront in life. PERFECT

2012-04-21T20:33:00.000-07:00

As Anzac Day nears some people are concerned that political correctness will stop us from remembering the men who fought, those who died and those with post traumatic shock syndrome, or Shell Shock.
A small but vocal number of people from elsewhere complain that our lifestyle offends them, really then go somewhere else. The larger number of people from elsewhere are very happy to be in this country and don't care what we do or what our holidays are about.
Remember when Vietnamese "Refugees" came to the country? Now people coming the same way are "Illegal Immigrants", the language used by government and the media influences how we think. These people have gone through hell and taken huge risks to come here to enjoy our freedom, most of them will be on the side of freedom, and want the vocal minority who complain and make them look bad to shut up, I know this from working with refugees.
We try the new food with relish, we add it to our menus but don't expect it to be the only we food we eat from then on, we add it to our vast and varied diet. We just eat the stuff we like and don't include the things we don't like, let's just do that with every religious or cultural practice that makes it's way here with these people.
I have no religion but practice tolerance, it's a great belief system.
There's only one commandment:- "Treat people the way you would like to be treated." Simple but very rare.

2012-04-10T17:28:00.003-07:00

Pretty sure I've survived the wet season.
Damn infrastructure never even get rained in in this county any more, perhaps there is more to come, but nights are getting cooler and the beach is looking good. Friend visiting makes me enjoy the area I'm showing, love the mountains, love the beach, soon as our yacht makes it to where we are gonna love the Barrier Reef, best enjoy while it's still there.
It's getting hard to do a terrible job that pays well but some things have to be endured and I'm lucky that I had a job I really enjoyed to get to do yoga in India with my kids.

This was Easter 2011 out at the end of Cox Peninsular, it was so lovely coming back to Australia to this. Now I work towards living on this and surviving my terrible job to get there.

2012-04-06T18:37:00.002-07:00

I wonder why we keep making so many mistakes with the indigenous people of Australia?? We took their children away, the we tried to fix it and we said sorry for all the stolen generations. Now child protection is making another stolen generation or a few generations. I would think it cheaper and better to put enough people in a community to offer support and safety so that young people can be loved and cared for, even if the love comes from one place and the care from another. Perhaps seeing good behaviour modelled would be learned by parents who are failing their children for so many reasons. If it isn't learned then the children still have the love of their family and the food and safety offered by support workers, all better than taking children away. It's also very expensive taking the children away. If we cant offer at the least the four layers from the bottom up, we're failing.

2012-01-12T20:45:00.000-08:00

Paraskevidekatriaphobics, this is a morbid and irrational fear of Friday the 13th. I think 13 is a lucky number, go out and buy a lotto or a scratchie and firmly believe that it will win. What if you do win??? Woot Woot, maybe luck isn't real, maybe bad luck isn't real, maybe we make our own fortune. Happy Friday 13 to you all!!!!

I've had good times and bad times, was luck involved?

I survived it all, and lived to tell the tale.

2012-01-11T21:06:00.000-08:00

I have another theory:
No matter how evolved we get, some things don't change. Women are built to have babies and nurture them, women are supposed to hang out in groups and prepare food and make their living area nice. They go fishing and collect fruit n berries, older ladies watch the children while the younger ones do the more physically challenging jobs.They hang out at waterfalls swimming and relaxing during the full moon while they are all bleeding in sync.
Men are built to go hunting and work together, they can't be too sensitive or killing a beast would be hard, or killing a besty who has been mauled nearly to death would also be too hard. They weren't made to understand us, cos the other women were there for that, they just had to provide and protect.
Our world requires that most women work, most men don't hunt, but I think we still have those primitive urges and desires, I have a tendency to like big men who look like they can hunt and keep me safe, I like hangin out with my girls too,
My man likes to go to work and hang with his boys talkin up what they do. They sit around talking about their feats, building up courage and enjoying their time together.
I think that my lack of understanding of all this stuff might be what killed the relationship between the father of my children and me. Lucky though I really like the relationship I have now, but it was good breeding with a big strong healthy type.
Not so different now are we!!!
BUT
I survive it all, and lived to tell the tale!
Mojo

2012-01-10T21:08:00.000-08:00

I have long held this theory, but recently decided to blog.
SO, why do we have pain, feel terrible and can't be reasoned with, just before or during the bleeding part of our cycle??
Well the bleeding part can be learnt in numerous publications. As for the feeling like crap, intolerance, lack of reason, bloody mindedness and just feeling terrible: No it's not just because we have a tampon inside us blocking the flow and swelling up, or because we have blood leaking out of us filling a pad and feeling pretty disgusting . IT'S BECAUSE WE NEED IT. We tolerate and cope and settle for some pretty sh*tty treatment because it keeps the peace, so on a sliding scale things are getting worse, for three weeks it's sliding we feel bad, we're upset, we tell our girls all about it, but go home and be pleasant. THEN week four arrives, THAT'S IT, You should treat me well and set a good example of how the kids should treat me, you can cook or do the dishes occasionally. the kids can clean up after themselves, eat what's healthy without whingeing AND YOU CAN TELL THEM ALL THAT, BECAUSE I DESERVE YOU TO DO THAT!!!! Not to say it's mummies time of the month, it'll all be better next week, but to say mummy put's up with being our slave and being treated a way that Amnesty International would object to, most of the time, so let's just pick up our game and treat her the way she treats us. With nurturing care.
If all that happened we wouldn't need to feel that way again!!! I know right??
BUT I Survived It All, and live to tell the tale.
Mojo