I Thought Those Kids Were Gonna Make It

Was the Price Right?

2012-01-26T13:55:00.000-08:00

Clearly there is something in the water again! Another celebrity has announced their split. Game show host Drew Carey has ended his 5-year engagement with Nicole Jarcasz. It's amicable and there's no other details. I really thought those boring kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to the tireless work of our Senior Guy-Can-Work-A-Pair-of-Glasses Correspondent in Philadelphia.

Paypal Account Revoked...

2012-01-26T04:05:00.000-08:00

PayPal founder Elon Musk's wife, British actress, Talulah Riley (Pride and Prejudice) has filed for divorce. Musk announced it on Twitter. Really. A millionaire needs to announce this on Twitter? Hope he had a pre-nup otherwise he's gonna have to Pay, Pal -- she should make sure he has her proper email.

Thanks to my duelling Senior Millionaire-Actress-Relationship Correspondents in South Jersey for the overnight news tip.

No More Sax...

2012-01-25T13:21:00.000-08:00

Thanks to jet lag, at this point today I don't have the energy for any break-up less than a Brad & Angie. However, sources just informed us that Kenny G and wife Lyndie Benson-Gorelick are splitting up. Cue the tiny soprano saximaphone.

Thanks to my Howard-Stern-Impersonator Correspondent in Philly for this earth shattering revelation.

X Fracture...

2012-01-23T15:12:00.000-08:00

Did you know Tulisa Contostavlos and Fazer from N-Dubz were an item? I had no idea! Anyway, for the people that read this blog and care about important news as such, I'm here to report, they've separated. They'd known each other since they were 11 and formed a band with her cousin Dappy Contostavlos. Then she became a judge on X Factor (she was the one everyone said, "Who's that?" and "How do you pronounce her name?" about, or was that just me?) I really thought those kidz were gonna make it.

She Had to Think....Think, Think...

2012-01-23T13:30:00.000-08:00

Well I don't think it's a break-up, but the ability to have the Queen of Soul grace our fair pages, I couldn't miss this very important news story! Aretha Franklin and long-time friend and companion William "Willie" Wilkerson (otherwise known as guy with the best name ever) have called off their wedding because they were moving "a little too fast." I really hope these kids are gonna make it!

Zzzz Factor...

2012-01-23T10:21:00.000-08:00

I could have sworn I reported this break-up already, but apparently Simon Cowell and Mezhgan Hussainy got back together and didn't let me know. Sadly, I'm here to report, they're splitting up again, but this time they're calling it "a break." Cowell was quoted as saying, "It's not on, it's not off, it's somewhere in the middle. I don't know if I will ever get married, but I am happy." So I'm not sure why this is making headlines again, I know I sure as hell have better things to do and Gluten Free Pot Pies to eat, but me thinks Simon doth protest too much. I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Tight-Black-V-Necked-T-Shirt Correspondent in NJ for the early tip!

Project Run-Away...

2012-01-21T06:10:00.000-08:00

UPDATE UPDATE: And, the press was right. It's official. We really thought those kids were gonna make it.

UPDATE: As I suspected when I decided to write this, I'd be posting an update, People.com says they may not be divorcing but they're in a rough patch. PHEW! Come on you two! If you can't make it, is there hope for any of us??

Original Entry:

What is going on in the world people?? Model Heidi Klum and Grammy Award winner Seal to divorce??? Honestly, I just don't like to report until the LA County papers are ACTUALLY filed. But again, the interweb makes me do it, this IS important and late-breaking news. They've been together 6 years (seems longer doesn't it?) and have a buttload of children. I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Kiss From A Rose Correspondent in Northfield, NJ for this early news tip. If I'm wrong here, updates to follow...we're as surprised as Seal is in the photo above.

Shiver Me Timbers!

2012-01-18T07:59:00.000-08:00

I truly never thought I'd be writing this blog entry! But reports came in from around the globe that long-time-Pirate, Johnny Depp (48, can you believe he's 48??) and Vanessa Paradis (39) have reportedly split. Together for nearly 14 years, they have apparently been leading separate lives for the past two. I usually wait to hear it made official before posting, but the explosion of gossip around this break-up is too big to not address! I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Pirate-French Taxi- Relationship Correspondents in Philadelphia, PA and Shankhill, Ireland.

Shares in Tattoo Removal Spike...

2012-01-18T04:13:00.000-08:00

Singer Avril Lavigne and jackanape, Brody Jenner, have split after 2 years. Our sources revealed that they decided to call it quits because they couldn't agree on their future together. I could have certainly helped them with that, as I predict a slow slide into obscurity. Let me remind you all here, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT GET A TATTOO OF YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND'S name on your body! Get a butterfly or a skull FFS. Anyway, although I didn't realize they were together, I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

She Was an American Girl...

2012-01-15T08:56:00.000-08:00

Actress Mena Suvari (American Beauty, American Horror Story, American Pie) has cited irreconcirable differences in her divorce filing with baby faced concert promotor Simone Sestito. Wedded bliss lasted only since 18 months, this is the her 2nd marriage to dissolve. I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks for the newstip from my Senior American Girl Correspondents in NJ and St Louis!

Straight Up, Broken Up...

2012-01-08T04:46:00.000-08:00

Paula Abdul has split from boyfriend of a year and a half, record label owner, Jeff Bratton. It actually went down in November and it was amicable. Jeff made a statement regarding the fact that between both their responsibilities they had little time for each other. I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Punless for Westlife Breakup...

2012-01-02T10:56:00.000-08:00

Westlife's Mark Feehily has split from his fiancé Kevin Mc Daid after almost 7 years. They were due to marry in 2012 but have called it quits and aren't giving any details. I thought those kids were gonna make it.

No More Fireworks...

2011-12-30T12:41:00.000-08:00

F*&k sake people, I thought I was done for the year! I mean seriously. My Senior I-Told-You-So Relationship Correspondent in St Louis tried to get me to prepare this blog entry several days ago, but I don't believe it until the Associated Press makes it true. "Actor" Russell Brand and pop songstress Katy Perry have called it quits. I really thought those silly kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior British-American Correspondent in Philadelphia for the heads up.

Let's get the Auld Lang Syne in without another break-up PLEASE!

Low Note for Mezzo Soprano...

2011-12-30T09:43:00.000-08:00

The break-up gods have hit again, one last time I hope for 2011. It is over when the thin pretty lady sings, opera singer Katherine Jenkins has split from TV host Gethin Jones after 4 years. That's a lot of hat for one blog entry. I really thought those Welsh were gonna make it.

While I'm here, Happy New Year my friends! See you on the other side!

XOXO

A Break Up With Grace...

2011-12-21T09:56:00.001-08:00

Oy vey and on Hanukkah no less. Actress Debra Messing has split from hubby of 10 years Daniel Zelman. They parted ways amicably earlier this year yet still live together to take care of their 7 year old son. I really thought those Jews were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Hanukkah-Related-BreakUp-Correspondent in South Philly Yo.

Blockbuster Breakup...

2011-12-20T00:47:00.000-08:00

Well, the cat is out of the bag almost 2 years after their split, it's been confirmed that playwright Sam Sheppard and actress Jessica Lange are no more. Together since 1982, they decided not to make the news public until now, she has stated they are both pursuing independent lives. I really thought those ol' kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Wait-Until-the-End-of-the-Year-To-Actually-Publish-Your-End-of-the-Year-Wrap-Up Correspondent in sunny Kilcoole for the early morning newstip.

Oh No, Bono, No Go...

2011-12-19T14:44:00.000-08:00

Breaking news people! Reports are in that Chaz Bono is no longer with his fiance Jennifer Elia. Together since 1999, they recently got engaged on the reality show "Becoming Chaz." Pleeeeeease let this show come to Ireland. I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my uber aware Senior Cher's Kid Correspondent in Philadelphia.

Touchdownandout...

2011-12-19T10:22:00.000-08:00

Just when I thought it was safe to post the end of the year wrap up, another athlete (surprise) is ending his marriage. Former NFL player and sports commentator Deion Sanders has filed for divorce of his wife of 12 years Pilar. Apparently the rumours of their split started in September. Maybe Kobe Bryant's news yesterday gave him the chutzpah to announce his own official split. I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Idiot Athlete Correspondent in NJ for the overnight tip.

2011 - We Thought All You Kids Were Gonna Make It

2011-12-18T14:04:00.000-08:00

Well I can't believe it's December and time for our end of the year wrap up! And what a year we've had, right? The amount of celebrity split ups in 2011 was staggering, coming in at 121. We really hope next year, famous people will try a little harder to keep it together, I do have a family to run here! To my Senior Correspondents from around the globe, THANK YOU AGAIN for your tireless reporting, and to those of you who read us regularly, a BIG HUG. You need this important news reported and we're here to break down the break ups. XOXO

Who knew Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin were a couple for 8 years? I sure as hell didn't but sadly, they're kaput.

Rosie O'Donnell and her real life "Mike Brady" Tracy Kachtick split up their bunch of 10(!) kids after only a year.

Rock Stars Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz, parents to Bronx Mowgli (seriously, that's actually his name,) sadly finalized their divorce just this month.

Several uber long marriages hit the rocks this year including Gary Collins and Mary Ann Mobley after a whopping 44 years and Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver after 25 years (and let's not forget the discovery his love child with the housekeeper.) Tony Danza surprised us by splitting up with his wife of 24 years, Tracey. Hopefully she showed him who was the boss in the settlement, hardy har har! 81-year old astronaut Buzz Aldrin ended his 23 year mission with Lois Driggs Cannon.

Charlie Sheen cashed in on our blog twice this year, losing 2 of his Goddesses and most of his marbles
.

Winning the award for most searched name on our blog is Luc Carl, former boyfriend of Lady Ga Ga, who's break-up gave me the best subject header ITTKWGMI has ever published-- "No Longer Will He Poke Her Face." And while I'm discussing subject headers, I can't believe I got no love for the header when Leo Di Caprio and Blake Lively's break-up inspired, "Who's Not Eating Gilbert's Grapes?" Come on! That's funny!

Jenny Lopez is back on the Block after splitting with Mark Anthony, (but we're waiting patiently for the upcoming break up of her and her backup dancer, we're waiting. Arms crossed, foot tapping. Did she learn nothing with the Cris Judd debacle?)

To be honest, I'm not really sure if Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith are split, I just know, something ain't right up in that relationship.

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries suck. That's all they get here for their 72 days of nuptials.

Ron Wood appeared on our blog twice in the less than 2 years we've been up and running, and we just wanted to say, we're honoured and when you're in Wicklow next, please come by for a cuppa, the kettle's always on the boil for you my friend.

The break up of the year has to be............Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. In our hardest of hearts, we were rooting for ya' kids. But your incessant twit-pic-ing bored us within an inch of our lives and we knew ultimately, you'd wind up in our analls.

So at the risk tempting fate, let's raise a glass and toast to the celebrities who keep it together for the long hall
-- Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rosdale, Rhea Pearlman and Danny De Vito we salute you! We really know you kids are gonna make it.

She Doesn't Care Where the (Kobe) Beef Is....

2011-12-17T00:28:00.000-08:00

As I update my end of the year post a FIFTH time since I've written it only a earlier this week, I'm here to report another split. Vanessa "Stand-by-Her-Man" Bryant has filed for divorce against Lakers star Kobe "Cheats-on-His-Woman-and-Sexually-Harrasses-Colorado-Hotel-Workers" Bryant. I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Reports flooded my inbox overnight from as far away as China and North & South Jersey, thanks to my Senior Cheatin' Athlete Correspondents from around the globe.

Country...It Does What It Says on the Tin...

2011-12-16T14:08:00.000-08:00

OK we've got a double hitter here. Country person Rodney Atkins has filed for divorce from his wife Tammy Jo Atkins AND we learned on the same day, that a restraining order has been filed against him due to a Nov 21st arrest for domestic abuse. Ain't nothin' funny here people. I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Go-Tammy Jo-Git-them-Dollahs Correspondent in Philadelphia for the newstip.

Not So Perky...

2011-12-14T11:44:00.000-08:00

Newscougar Katie Couric (54) and her boyfriend Brooks Perlin (37) have ended their 5 year relationship. Apparently they were in "different stages in their careers and the split was inevitable." I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Thanks to my Senior Newswoman - Entrepreneur Relationship Correspondent in San Fran for the tip!

Smize Through the Tears Tyra...

2011-12-13T05:22:00.000-08:00

America's Next Top Model creator, Tyra Banks, has ended her over 3 year relationship with banker John Utendahl. If you're looking for her, she's currently on a spiritual trip to Bali to take a break and get over her sadness, something tells me she's not "Smizing" right now.

No Sugar on this Berry...

2011-12-11T13:50:00.000-08:00

A veteran of all-girl manufactured pop groups including Sugababes and Atomic Kitten, Heidi Range and presenter Dave Berry have ended their 8 year relationship. The industry and I really thought those kids were gonna make it.

Dancer Becomes Pennyless...

2011-12-08T10:27:00.000-08:00

Dancing With The Stars' pro Karina "Don't Call Me Vodka" Smirnoff and MLB pitcher, Brad Penny have split after 2 years. I really don't care, so as you can see, have put no effort into this important announcement. However, I really thought those kids were gonna make it.