I traded my soul for happiness

Why Don't I Believe?

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 02:00:00 +0000

I don't believe because I enjoy living in reality.

I also enjoy the company of others who have made the choice to live in reality. They are far more free to think, have ideas, and embrace change.

Like every other major change in my life, when I seriously considered the possibility that there might not be a god, I made a few pro and con lists. This included one comparing theists to atheists. (at the time I made the list I believed there was a god). Unfortunately Atheist came out as more emotionally stable people. I'm not calling it black and white, my mom AND in-laws are happy Christians, but over all atheist scored higher in areas I was seriously struggling.

Most of all I wanted to be happy, and I couldn't as long as I was going to receive nothing but circular reasoning. That shit drives me crazy. CRAZY crazy. Christianity, for me, was like taking a bad birth control pill. My boss is taking some that expired YEARS ago and all of the sudden she is making no sense at all and appears to be powered only by emotion. It's creepy to watch when she used to be so calm and reasonable. It reminds me of how I felt as a Christian.

When God is the answer, it is much easier to bottle emotions up and not deal with them. I mean, get in a trance and feel a magic release, but it really doesn't leave until you learn what you need to from it. At least not for me. I don't know that I'm right at all, but I feel like I'm making a good guess here.

Sure, not all Christians are emotionally retarded, but I most definitely was, and a whole lot of other people around me were, too. Many church members seemed to have temporary and sharp feelings of bliss, but 98% of the time it's depression, just waiting for an answer from god instead of thinking and figuring things out for yourself. I even faked all that Christian joy, because in order to spread the word of God it's important that you appear to be happy.

Then I lied about feeling happy for many years so that I wouldn't be a bad Christian. What if you were the only Christian a person ever met and you were sad around them too often? That person might not be as open to hearing the word of God.

Raise your hands and say it with me now, "When we all raise our hands and sway back and forth with our eyes shut it puts us in a suggestive state."

This applies to every religion. They all do it. First you sing or dance, then you sit down to hear someone talk, then you sing again. How about instead of telling people what to think we start teaching people how to think for themselves?

Shit, every time I make a good point I remember a Bible verse that wins against my point. The bible sure did take care of the nasty problem of people who have other ideas about life. The Bible says they are fools, so they must be fools! It reminds me of Lisa Simpson in the creationism class, when Ralph said, "Now Lisa's the new Ralph" The smart person is the fool, and that is all I needed to hear years ago to think there's probably a better life out there for me. Far, far away from the people who call me a fool for doing what it takes to find happiness.

Oh, yeah, the list goes on. What with the lack of proof, etc. Whatever. Observing the people around me was enough to help me make the leap. The science education is just more cake on the cake.

Thanks, Merk.

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 20:42:00 +0000

The Ethical Atheist's Ten Commandments, found here.

1. Thou SHALT NOT believe all thou art told.
2. Thou SHALT seek knowledge and truth constantly.
3. Thou SHALT educate thy fellow man in the Laws of Science.
4. Thou SHALT NOT forget the atrocities committed in the name of god.
5. Thou SHALT leave valuable contributions for future generations.
6. Thou SHALT live in peace with thy fellow man.
7. Thou SHALT live this one life thou hast to its fullest.
8. Thou SHALT follow a Personal Code of Ethics.
9. Thou SHALT maintain a strict separation between Church and State.
10. Thou SHALT support those who follow these commandments.

Visit the website for discussion on these. :o)

The self-aware elephant

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 22:59:00 +0000

If you pray are you less likely to confide in other people?

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 05:55:00 +0000

I've found that during the times when I had no one to talk to I got a lot more accomplished emotionally when I talked to myself instead of talking to god. First, and most important, I found people I was able to talk to by first talking to myself.

And sure, sure, when you talk to god you're really just talkin to yourself. The difference for me was that when I talked to myself I didn't have faith that someone else would work out my problems for me magically.

Also, it never prevented me from opening up to people because I was taught that god will work through other people in my life, so I was always aware of people who were willing to listen.

And anyway, there is NO community like the church community, except maybe your own family. EVERYONE at church knows all your business. All it takes is one person finding out one thing about you, and everybody knows by next Sunday. Awww man. Church is like high school on crack. I had Christian friends at school and I'd go to their youth group events and just hear gossip all night. I started preaching out against the gossip at my own church, but they fought hard to keep it by saying they didn't gossip. I starting blowing my metaphorical "rape whistle" whenever someone attempted to engage me in gossip. I was better than them.

Prayer for me didn't stop me from opening up to people. Everyone already knew my business and told me about what I should be doing different all the time. I didn't even have a chance at keeping my shit to myself. At that point it doesn't matter that they praise you for the good things you do. It's been made clear to you that an entire community of people will know and judge every mistake you make. Who cares about an occasional high-five. I will pick privacy over praise ALWAYS. Again, I think that's another point for me, the atheist.

To answer the question from a Christian perspective, it is impossible to even consider the option of not confiding in other people.

atheists vs. christians

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 22:49:00 +0000

Here's something we can agree on

The Bible

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:16:00 +0000

http://www.evilbible.com/

This is all of the information in the Bible that Christians choose to ignore.

Ray Sins

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 02:57:00 +0000

Why why why why why would anyone ever say, "there is this thing called '___[insert anything here]____' that you are ignorant of, and I forbid you to educate yourself on the matter. Here is a tree that grows this knowledge just in case you're the rule-breaker I made you to be."

Seriously, was God not sure if they would choose ignorance over information? Is it possible that he could create a being that could be self-aware, but desire to do nothing about it?

Here I am happy and safe. God tells me that if I break a rule, I will learn about something new, but I will be punished. My first thought is, "what is it like to be punished?"

How do I, as a human being, learn?

The only conclusion I can come to here is that God doesn't know what he's doing. Or maybe it was the man who created God that didn't understand what he was talking about. I gotta go with occam's raisins on this one. Either way, I look good, so whatever.

a place to chat

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 03:18:00 +0000

I'm enjoying a new group on flickr called "Do You Believe?". I'm so shaky every time I make a comment. The regulars are going to get to know me, and that's still something I'm getting used to. Coming out atheist helped me finally feel comfortable around other people. I knew if too many people found out, my mom would find out. I knew she would still love me and accept me and treat me like an intelligent person, but I also knew it would break her heart, because "what about heaven?". I didn't want to make her feel that way. I didn't want to be the cause of more sadness or worry in her life. She's had enough problems she never deserved.

You know, and just like coming out anything else, I had to be confident enough in myself to have the conversation. I had to know what I could say to her to make everything okay. I told her that I was a happy person, the thing she said was most important in life. I told her I was able to live my dreams, and they weren't evil, and they made me happy. It's the biggest motivator for me to keep up this blog, my photography (hey guys, I'm booked for a month with the e-mails still pouring in), give children the tools they need early on to find happiness (yeah, I know 'em, my mom told me). I want to make her proud, and I want to do that by doing what it takes to remain happy. It's WORK. It's hard work. I can't explain away needless suffering. I'm not that arrogant. maybe? whatever.

So I'm reading over there and it's inspiring. I love hearing the old way I thought, because it's a reminder of how much I've changed and how much easier my life is now. Not because I can do whatever I want, I pretty much do all the same things I did as a Christian. I did the best that I could, and I still do. My life is easier because I'm not sitting around all the time trying to make sense of the bible. I'm not getting glares from the parents of my friends. My husbands parents are both Christian and they adore me. I love them, too. If we had a Christian relationship they would not like me. I was an annoying Christian. It's why I'm so comfortable annoying people I like now. I'm used to it. It's comfortable.

I asked a lot of probing questions that an atheist might ask their youth pastor. Only I honestly didn't and still don't understand. I approached it believing 100% that it was all real, because why would all these people say it's real if it's not? That's insane. And when I learned something that contradicted something else I would ask a questions and everyone would get pissed off and shake their stupid, old, wrinkly fingers at me. I don't like the circular logic. I don't like how they think their history is more correct than real history. It's creepy.

Seriously? Yes.

Natural Ability part 2: Do I have the natural ability to write a sequel?

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 02:52:00 +0000

Pay no attention to the babbling woman. She's just trying to be a scientist. Isn't that cute?

I've thought about it more. Like, neither of my parents were in to crafting like I am, but my grandparents were. Neither of my grandparents have ever been able to draw well, but my dad was an outstanding clone artist, like I sort of can be sometimes (by accident). I can sing well, but my voice is sort of boring and makes people sleep, just like everyone else who can sing in my family.

It makes my skin crawl when people (like it's just people in general? no, I'm talking about my family. They can't read stuff this tiny, though) talk about something I'm good at and say, "She gets that from her _[blah blah blah]_." Basically they are saying, and sometimes put it this bluntly, "I didn't get that gene, so I can't do that."

Whaaaaa? It is very clear to me why I like the things I do. I like crafting more than any other thing I do. More than photography. My earliest experience with happiness revolved around crafting. It was the week or two (or three, if I could convince my parents) in the summer I spent with my grandparents. Away from my father. My grandparents spent all of their spare time making art together. My grandpa is a carpenter and my grandpa paints the things he makes. Most often with the cheesy stuff your grandma buys at the local bazaar. The holiday stuff. Oh, but I didn't understand what kind of art it was, I was just having a blast making a mess and being allowed to touch things I usually didn't get to touch. I still have the first painting I made on a wooden gingerbread man. I know for certain that my grandma helped me.

This is something my grandparents made for me to keep my rings in when I was five. I had so much bling. Now it's where I keep my drug blunts. Just kidding that's not where I keep my drug blunts. The people that I felt most secure around where my family members, and I was happiest crafting with my grandparents, and I've found happiness through creativity ever since. Nature vs. Nurture: one point to nurture here.

Let's try again. How about singing? Is it genetic that I sing like my family members? Or is it because I heard them sing more often than I heard anyone else (not counting Bert and Ernie)? I learned how to sing from them. So I sing like them. End of story, jerk. Two points nurture. One point nature for affecting hearing and the shape of your throat or belly or whatever you sing out of. Vocal boards? That doesn't sound right.

As far as the identical twins having the same jobs and marrying men with the same name when they've never met... A point my husband threw at me when I was on my nurture rant. I think I'm ready to take a stab at it from my point of view. I'm not educated as well as I should be to be making guesses, so if it sounds nice don't automatically believe it, please.

It's obvious that physical traits are passed down from generation to generation, but I don't think that means that our desires are passed down in any other way than we have similar bodies. So my hands are like the hands in my family, and my eyes are, as well. I have a steady hand and I'm a spatial genius. (I informed my husband after testing that I only test above genius-level in one of the six or whatever categories, "I'm a spat-ial genius." I scored very low in Words or whatever it was called.)

Nature vs. Nuture fight: over. The two work very well together. We like to do what we're good at, and we do those things around little humans we made in our image. They see us doing it during the time they are learning what it means to be a human, so they do it, too. However, just because they have the body for it does not mean they will have the desire for it. These two identical twins figured out something they were able to do, and they enjoyed doing it because they weren't raised by anyone who restricted them from doing what they excelled at, something parents see in a child (yes, even an adopted one) and encourage early on so that they can say their child is better. Sometimes because they are loving parents doing it for the right reason. Sometimes. My entire point after all this is just that there isn't a desire gene being passed down. Natural ability means my body is better suited for this than your body, not that my brain possesses something magical that yours doesn't.

Marrying men with similar names, or the same name, is nothing more than coincidence. And there is still no creativity gene to be found. Join me later for part three when I try to figure why this ever irritated me in the first place. Oh yeah, that whole god thing. By now I hope I've at least made a good point against any ability being a magic gift from a god.

Don't Learn Stuff

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 21:20:00 +0000

I saw miracles, too! I believed they were miracles with all my "heart".

I've been sitting here deleting and retyping this same sentence, and I feel like a real jerk for saying this, but it's the truth... I just wasn't educated well enough to understand what was really happening. I'm no genius now, but I've educated myself enough to understand that every miracle I saw had a fairly simple explanation.

Here's what DIDN'T happen. I didn't lose faith and then look up information to explain the miracles. I found this information when trying to learn about other things that had nothing to do with gods or miracles or magic.

Beware: Learning has evil side-effects.

Thanks, Internet.

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 04:48:00 +0000

Can I say again that I can only speak from my experiences? I think that should be made clear, if it isn't already. Like, when I start yelling at some imaginary Christian, I usually have a Christian in mind. I've met thousands of them. I was surrounded by them for 19 years. Most of those being the typical person's observing years, when we rely on other people to teach us what it is to be human. Childhood. :o(

Sometimes I wish I had been given a choice, and then other times I'm glad to have had the experiences. As time passes I'm more likely to say I'm glad for the lesson I learned. I don't mean to yell at strangers, but this is meant to be a place to observe my reaction, for those who never left their observing years. We can still learn about ourselves by observing others, there is no cut-off age. IM HAPPEH 2 GIV BAK 2 TEH INTERNETS WUT THEY GAEV 2 ME. Sorry for that last part :o(

I hope the freedoms of the internet remain. You can get a better art education on the internet than in most public schools. I don't actually know if that's true, but it sure sounds right. I went to public school and I was taught a from a lesson plan. On the internet I can pick something that interests me and learn everything about it and see pictures of it done the right way. I learned how to make fake dred locks that look real on the internet. First of all, I found perfectly detailed tutorials with every piece of information you need, updated regularly with a comments section for strangers ideas. THEN! and this is the best part, I joined a community on livejournal where people posted their creations and I could see all the different ways hundreds of people have been creative using the basic rules. OMG I learned the process and was overstimulated with ideas all for free. Beat that, Painting 101.

I do have to give it up to high school for the awesome ceramics class I got to take and retake for three years just to throw clay on a wheel. You can't do that on the internet... Er, I guess you can if you can afford the equipment. Yay for youtube. High school still has a chance to win, though. I got to take the jewelry class and work on equipment that you can just buy and use without proper training. Or at least you shouldn't if you enjoy having hands and eyes.

The internet has taught me how to crochet, knit, make dreds, etch glass, paint on glass, create the look I want when making wired jewelry, use polymer clay, pop art, customizing a blythe doll (including sanding her face to get the right expression), and on and on and on and on.

More important is the creativity. Hours looking online at things I like. I'm totally not wasting time, I'm seeing image after image until I pull a few things together and create something new. Whoops I thought it was new. Look, there's already a site devoted to it. Sweet, they can tell me what tools are best.

Thanks, Internet.

Charisma's Darkest Side

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 01:56:00 +0000

This is the weirdest thing I've heard in a while. Apparently, you can't imagine things you've never seen. Like... She knew it was an angel (or jesus) that she saw because all the angels she had ever seen were fat babies with wings. This was not a fat baby with wings so clearly she wasn't imagining it. She had never seen anything like it before so clearly it wasn't a hallucination. "you know?" she says. I just ... walked away.

I can't even come close to understanding this logic. I create weird shit I've never seen before. In my head, on paper. It's not magic. Try telling that to someone who's convinced that the imagination is not her creating things, but a god creating things. Real things. And those weird things give her weird feelings, too. A point that she uses as proof.

It's like I'm from another universe. A universe were we don't believe what every charismatic person tells us. What a bizarre day.

Natural Ability

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 23:52:00 +0000

I have a friend who's been driving me crazy. She talks about my natural artistic ability, and complains that she doesn't have it. I reacted without thinking about it, taking offense to her claim of natural ability, because I felt that I had worked really hard to get to where I am artistically. Then I spent the last month thinking non-stop about artistic people having natural abilities. I've been accused of arrogance, and I had to investigate.

I work with children from the age of two until they are five. I have them to myself at the ages of three and four, but the time before and after I'm still involved with them. In the beginning I am an authority figure that steps in when they are misbehaving (when the teacher in the toddler class starts going crazy at about 11:15 every morning). Towards the end I'm the adult that they seek out when they do something creative, because ultimately it is my opinion that matters more than any other adult when it comes to art.

I've been seeking out children that could be candidates for this so called natural ability towards creativity, and I have so far found no evidence that it exists. What I have found is that every human is born with the ability to be creative, and they either exercise it or it dies. I've been trying to find science-related evidence to back me up or contradict me, but I'm guessing I'm not searching the right way, because I've found nothing. :o(

I've tried to come up with other possible ways that creativity could be anything other than a "muscle" that needs to be exercised, but I can't. All I can see is that the more I try, the better I get. The more I practice, the better I get. The more I exercise creativity, the more creative I become. I find that when I'm labeled "naturally creative" I get extremely pissed off. You might as well be saying, "You didn't work hard to get to where you are, it just came naturally to you."

The desire came what seemed like naturally to me. I saw adults that were creative, and instead of saying, "I wish I could be creative, too" I invested a lot of time and effort to become one of those people. I believe this is called Self-Actualizing.

Now when self-esteem and comparison comes in to play I have to say I'm no where near as creative as I'd like to be, but I'm working at it. I don't think I'm awesome, and that makes people angry because they think I'm being cocky. WHAT? I am so confused. Okay, so yeah, I know how to use glue and I have the patience to start over and over and over again until I have a straight line, but I'm telling you I'm going to be a lot more awesome than this, and don't you dare chalk it up to natural ability. I am devoting all of my time to this. I started teaching preschool because I knew that it would be a m-f job with a small income I could count on, but more importantly I would have the freedom to spend my time practicing creativity. Where better than a preschool? The preschool classroom is set up for creativity.

All of the toys are made to exercise creativity, but kids struggle when they aren't show the way. All my class did was make guns out of legos and shoot each other with them until I spent some time showing them what else you can do with legos. They took those ideas and used them with other toys, and created things I probably would have never thought of on my own. We learn from each other. This is why everything I make is licensed under creative commons. (With the attribution to feed my ego. :o))

I hit the jackpot. All day the kids ask me to draw pictures for them and now after two years I can finally draw a unicorn that I would call cute and that would be difficult for the average person to draw. I could not do this two years ago. Back then if I wanted a cute unicorn I would ask my husband to draw it.

As a result, now, the kids that sat and watched me draw all day are also able to draw what I can draw. Their hands aren't as steady yet, but they saw it over and over and they know all the steps and they can draw amazingly for four-year-olds. The kids that have gone through my class ALL draw better than their older siblings. Each and every parent now thinks they have a kid that is naturally creative, not like their older sibling who is not so creative. I don't argue with them because what am I going to say, "Uh actually they are just copying me. Kids do that. They watch adults and mimic them." It starts out that way, but the real treat is when they start being creative on their own, which usually happens after they leave my class. My favorite creation so far was by a girl that I had taught to draw dinosaurs and unicorns. After a few months away from me she came to me with a dinosaur that had a horn and wings . She called it a "unisaur". I now draw unisaurs all the time. I also started drawing caticorns and other mixes of animals. It wasn't MY idea, it was a child's.

I didn't see this coming. This job turned out to be the best thing for exercising my own creativity. The kids copy me and I copy the kids and it becomes easier to do things that were once extremely difficult for me. It's practice, not magic. Creativity isn't something we do on our own. It isn't an inner natural ability that some magic god gave you because you are specially made for it. Let's stop wishing and start playing together.

I'm open to any science opposing this, by the way. I just came up with it by observing and coming to conclusions, so there is no way I can say I am correct.

Yay Science

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 21:20:00 +0000

Smaller Version of the Solar System Is Discovered

"Astronomers said Wednesday that they had found a miniature version of our own solar system 5,000 light-years across the galaxy — the first planetary system that really looks like our own, with outer giant planets and room for smaller inner planets."

On one of the planets they found halflings that are similar to humans, but have evolved from birds. They're version of the neanderthal (an animal similar to them that some halflings bred with) had wings.

Okay, okay, I'm fibbing. Science sparks the imagination like that. The EVIL imagination.

The Someday Kamina

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 06:56:00 +0000

I'm enjoying Tommy's post. I noticed a lot of his posts made me think, so that's neat.

For the first time I'm at an age where I can understand politics and I'm very interested. I get the feeling that some sort of political work is in my future. My far, far future. I get that feeling because it's one of those deep desires. I haven't figured out where it came from, but I think it's Malvina Reynolds. My grandma(or maybe someone else) used to sing one of her songs to me. Magic Penny. I might be wrong, but I think that song is the seed for my desire to be involved with humanity. I recommend it if you have children. You can buy it on itunes for 99 cents. If you do I also recommend her song Little Boxes. My preschool class loves it. Most of them call it their favorite song, but that might be because I dance around all happy whenever one of her songs comes on. I also play it on the piano for them. We bond because of that song. I had no idea as a child that her songs met a political need. I think Little Boxes says something very powerful. It was a major statement at the time. I have something like 13 covers of the song, in three different languages. I'd like to sing it in spanish. There are a whole bunch of new covers because of the show Weeds on Showtime, but I'm still missing a lot of those. There was a spanish version done and I want that so I can use correct diction. It will happen.

Here's a video from the show's intro.

During the second season they had a new person singing this song for every episode. Also, it's a great show.

When I listen to her sing, or talk, I feel like I can relate to her voice more than any other (as far as who I'd like to be and what kind of a footprint I'd like to leave.) I'm trying, but it's a hard road. I have to be all creative and junk. Exercising creativity is damn hard. Drawing is not hard, painting is not hard, beading is not hard, sculpting is not hard. Exercising creativity is hard. The manuals for it are JUNK, too. If I master it I'll totally write book about how my way will work for everyone. Whatever.

Breakin it down for the.... the .... fools? sheep?

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 01:55:00 +0000

Why People Believe Weird Things explains science pretty clearly, but I cannot expect religious people to read books about anything but the praise of magic. (No, no, not all theists boycott books, but let's be realistic... most do.)

Hypothesis: A testable statement for a set of observations.
Theory: A well-supported and well-tested hypothesis or set of hypotheses.
Fact: A conclusion confirmed to such an extent that it would be reasonable to offer personal agreement.

I think the average theist is confusing a scientific theory with a hypothesis. You can choose to believe that a scientific theory is a guess, but that doesn't make it true.

It doesn't. It doesn't. It doesn't.

Also, you don't get to change definitions to help prove your superstitions. That's not how it works. The truth is, it's 2008, and The Origin of Species came out in 1859. That 149 years! Evolution has been very, very, very, very, very, very well tested in the last 149 years.

1. Just because you don't like the results of these tests doesn't make them any less valid or true.
2. Just because you've been brainwashed and closed off from the results of these tests doesn't mean they didn't happen.
3. Just because you choose to be ignorant of the facts doesn't mean they don't exist.

Educate yourself. Do your own research. Read up on both sides of the argument, not just one, and not just The Origin of Species, because that's 149 years old. Ignorance is popular, but that doesn't make it right.

How many, many times our mothers tell us not to be sheep. Would you jump off a bridge if your friends were doing it? How about we change that to: Would you close your mind to new facts and information if your friends were doing it? Same god damn thing, knock it off, brats.

Yay Humans

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 05:11:00 +0000

Satan probably tore up the streets made of gold. It was tacky anyway.

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 03:46:00 +0000

Okay, I never got anything but a shocked look from Christians as a child, but maybe someone can disprove me now.

You know how God doesn't show himself anymore? Uh... I was scared as a kid because I thought it was entirely possible that Satan finally took control of humanity and threw God in to Hell. How do you know you aren't all worshiping Satan? It would sure explain the absence of God all this time. I guess at any rate you want to worship whoever is in control of heaven so you can get your virgins and shit. What's God able to provide you with in hell? Uh-oh.

Now you still have the option to stop all this make-believe and join us over here in reality... Or you can take your chances with evil heaven.

Expelled: The Movie

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 22:27:00 +0000

No one is going to lose their job simply because they watch this movie. You can tell who this movie is targeted at. No one should need to be scared in to watching a movie about science. If you do need to be terrified in a trailer in order to watch a movie about science then you're probably not someone who knows a lot about science. If you don't know a lot about science there's really nothing stopping you from believing this garbage.

The reason they aren't allowed in scientific journals is because this is not science. It's philosophy at best. It's theism. Scientist are trying to learn about things they see and feel, these guys are trying to learn about things they don't see that can't be proven. Hello? Knock knock knock. Hi I'm science and I'm here for you to learn about what proof we have for what.

A theory is an idea. The idea is tested, and it is either thrown out because tests cannot prove it is true, or the tests consistently back up that idea as true. A theory can be tested until it consistently, 100% of the time proven true. Like... gravity. So say you get an idea (a theory) but it's lacking any proof so that means it is not considered equal to another theory that not only has A LOT of proof, but contradicts yours in many ways.

Get more proof and you'll get published. Simple as that. SIMPLE AS THAT.

IM IN UR MANGER KILLING UR SAVIOR

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 06:17:00 +0000

You can't watch this enough.

Atheists Are Evil

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 02:51:00 +0000

HOLY SMOKES! There are less atheists in prison than there are Mormons. SUCK IT, theists. SUCK. IT.

"Note that atheists, being a moderate proportion of the USA population (about 8-16%) are disproportionately less in the prison populations (0.21%)."

Statistics are what they are. I'm not saying these numbers are proof that atheism isn't evil. Atheists are proof of that.

Freethinker, Secularist, Nontheist, Humanist.......

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 05:29:00 +0000

In the January/February 2008 issue of The Humanist magazine (pg 17) I read a short article titled The Post-Theological Umbrella by David Niose. It talks about humans in the "pre-theological" stage moving to the theological stage as a "natural development of extremely advanced animals."

The article explains that we came to a point in our development when we were smart enough to ask deep questions, but not smart enough to answer them. The proof that it is normal for any advanced animal comes from the Neanderthals, who "buried their dead and had religious relics that suggest that they also asked deep questions that required theological answers."

This all makes sense to me until I'm asked to describe myself as "post-theological" instead of atheist. I'm seeing articles in magazines and blog entries all over the place telling me to call myself something different in order to avoid the icky feelings theists get when they hear "atheist". This article, like the others I've read, mentions the 2001 ARIS survey. This study revealed 13% identified as non-religious, but only 1% call themselves atheist. Post-theological doesn't sound bad to me, and that's where I get confused. I've been extremely happy with being just an atheist all this time.

The point of this article is for all of us to come together and pick one name to fight under, other than atheist, or changes in culture regarding theism vs. atheism will take much longer. I'm having a hard time thinking this through, because I've only been an atheist for three years. I'm still super pissed about being brainwashed as a child. I can't tell if it's anger or reason that tells me I should just stick with atheist and fight the fight. I don't want it to take longer than it needs to and theists are having huge success with renaming creationism. Should we do what they are doing and rename in order to try to gain a warm-fuzzies face?

What would our founding fathers say?

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 20:54:00 +0000

"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear."
Thomas Jefferson

"Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and torturous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness, with which more than half the Bible is filled, it would be more consistent that we called it the word of a demon than the Word of God. It is a history of wickedness that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind."
Thomas Paine

"Let us with caution indulge the supposition, that morality can be maintained without religions."
George Washington

"There is nothing which can better deserve our patronage than the promotion of science and literature. Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness."
George Washington, address to Congress, 8 January, 1790

"To give opinions unsupported by reasons might appear dogmatical."
George Washington, to Alexander Spotswood, November 22, 1798, from The Washington papers edited by Saul Padover

"... the government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion"
-Treaty of Tripoli, Article 11, written during the administration of George Washington, signed by President John Adams, and ratified unanimously by the United States Senate.

23/24/25 part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 20:17:00 +0000

I had an outline hand-written for all of my other posts. I'm only 26, though, so I'm just reflecting now on the last few years of my life. The magic years.

When I met mark I was nineteen. He was the best friend of my best friend's brother. It wasn't until I was thinking about changing who I was spending my time with, to smarter people, that I seriously thought about talking to Mark. I was traveling a lot and I would spend pretty much all my time in the hotel on the internet messaging my friends on AIM.

I started messaging Mark with a serious goal. I knew we could be friends because I knew at one point in my life I used to be really smart. Maybe that would come back to me. Maybe it was like riding a bike. (It wasn't). When Mark moved from living with his friends to an apartment alone, I decided it was time to strike. I invited myself over.

Another absolutely wonderful person to add to my collection! I went from not saying a word around him for hours to aggressively invading his head. Mark and I went through the same childhood. We could relate in a way I have never related with another person. The differences of our lives outweigh the similarities, but when it comes down to it, we were both brainwashed. We were both treated like our honest curiosity was a threat. We were treated like we were evil for asking questions. We never felt a connection with the lord on high who was and is and is to come.

My favorite memory while dating Mark was when we were at his parents' place in Eugene. His older (by 17 years) sister was there, and we were talking about when Mark lost his faith. He told them about how it felt to honestly believe for years and years and years and never feel the holy spirit. He never felt a connection to god. He believed with all his heart and never felt it. His sister mentioned that it might have been because of his doubt in god, and maybe if he gave it another try... I explained it was the other way around completely. He had no doubt that he would feel the same thing the other Christians felt, because he was told he would. He had no doubt until he had actively tried to feel it for years and didn't. He had doubt because he had not felt, not the other way around.

I asked her, "How many decades are you supposed to wait before you feel a little tiny something?" I think it meant a lot to the family to hear that. They understood that it was nothing on the part of the atheist. We tried. We gave ourselves to Jesus and he ignored us. I'm not going to live a lie and pretend that god has a plan for me. When I became atheist, and I made a plan for myself, only then did things really start to work out for me. God's plans are stupid. God's plans are awful.

I have never heard someone call something "God's plan" that wasn't something any nit-wit could have come up with. You know? God's plan is never intelligent. God's plan is never to teach really important lessons of love and compassion to all people. God's plan does not involve peace. God's plan is just man's selfishness, all dressed up like a whore.

The problem for me is when I know what different body parts do, and I know about how the human brain is capable of a panic attack... I know, then, that it is capable of feelings on the opposite end. I know what it's like to feel manic, and I do not relate that to god. It's a man-made state-of-mind. Theists refuse to recognize what the human body is capable of. They refuse to learn, and read, and study. They are extremely ignorant to any science that isn't 50 years old.

In 50 years gay marriage will be the norm. Just like woman can vote now and only a crazy person would say they shouldn't have that right. Remember how women couldn't vote? Remember how there were slaves? Remember how the Bible supported both forms of bigotry. I'm going to try to make this as obvious as possible so that Christians can understand. Woman can vote now because there is nothing about it that harms anyone. Slavery is illegal because there is nothing harmful or evil about NOT owning humans. The opposite cannot be said.

Let's look at homosexuality. It doesn't harm you. You might THINK it does, because it's against your holy text, but come on, grow up. Think. Learn. Progress. It doesn't hurt you, it only hurts them. They are the humans who are having rights taken away from them, not you. You are thinking like a bigot. You are equal to the generations that fought to keep woman from having rights. You are equal to the generations that fought to keep slavery. You are taking away the rights of other humans because you somehow are so much better than them that you get to decide based on your theistic views. That, my friend, is bigotry.

If you think gay marriage will hurt you, you are wrong. Has my marriage with my husband hurt you in any way? If your answer is yes, then perhaps you have a case. My marriage is exactly what you are afraid of letting them have. It's godless. It's an expression of love and nothing else. We made no promises to god nor man. We did it on purpose, too. The reason we got marriage was to prove that a godless marriage hurts no one. We are here to show you what it will be like if gays marry. It will be no different. Our marriage has affected your faith, your marriage, your relationship with god, in no way.

Please, let's stop filling our hearts with hate in the name of god. I don't think that's what he was going for.

20/21/22

noreply@blogger.com (Kamina) — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 03:14:00 +0000

When I became agnostic I was having a hard time shaking off the guilt. I started studying the history of religion to gain some perspective. I didn't know why, as a Christian, I hadn't already received this education, until I read it. Either history is a lie or the bible is a lie. I choose to believe what the nerds come up with, they're usually right. And they're constantly in competition with each other to know more facts. They're pretty strict with each other about using the word fact. You can only use it when something is a fact. So right there you see proof that you can trust them. Simply observe them and use your brains, people. They aren't evil liars.

You know who are evil liars? Nevermind.

I didn't date these two years. I flirted and went on a few dates, but few got a second chance. I decided I'm not going to settle. There absolutely is someone out there who I will want to spend a lot of time with. I'm not going to settle for a pretty face.

Instead I spend my time going on blind dates debating religion with theists who don't dare ask me on a second date. They don't understand why I need to know up front what kind of magic they believe in. I eventually trade blind dates for more time searching for atheist friends. I want a community. I'm agnostic, but only because I didn't really understand what it meant to be atheist. And because magic is poetic so I enjoyed hanging on to that. It helped with the loss of Jesus and the fact that people were wasting their lives for gods. I would continue to be agnostic until I experienced the magic in atheism. That's another post. Quit distracting me.

I was still rebuilding my self esteem when I met #3. He didn't much like talking about deep stuff. He was maybe agnostic, but refused to talk about it because it didn't matter. I kinda liked that idea. What I didn't know turned out to be dangerous with him. I still had had no good example of how a decent man treats a woman. I had no way of seeing the signs, and I was brainwashed again. He made me feel selfish for wanting to be a photographer. A job that kept me from being in town for more than a week out of every month. It was not a straight week, it was three days here and four days there. I wanted to be an artist. I was making A LOT of money. I was good at it and people remembered my name and requested I come to their town the next time my company sent a photographer. I climbed to the top. I was a manager, training other photographers. I set my own schedule, I got to pick whatever place in the United States that I wanted to travel to. I liked Alaska best.

He made me feel terrible for not choosing to be poor and be with him instead of doing what I love and what I'm good at. It's not like he made it worth my time. He liked to smoke and play guitar. He didn't like reading. He didn't like to talk about thinky stuff. My friends told me to dump him. I told me I was not worth loving so it didn't matter. No matter what I do I just make boys that love me mad. I'm just trying to do my best. No one else will ever be better than what I have now. I can't do any better. I am a failure.

When I felt my worst he waited until I left for a month-long trip. I called him after the two-day drive to tell him I got there safe and he dumped me. He wouldn't tell me why and changed his phone number and blocked me from e-mailing or messaging him. A while later he posted on his livejournal that he did some research and decided I was a Narcissistic Sociopath. He even joined a support group.

I felt like life was not worth living. Not because I could not be with #3, but because life was not getting any better. I didn't want to play the game anymore.

I spent a lot of time traveling after that. Town to town. No relationships. I spent six months alone in my thoughts. In the first month I became an atheist. I decided magic was getting me nowhere, and I needed to learn more about myself and how I can stop making these mistakes. I needed to self-actualize, and let no man get in my way. My photography changed and I started capturing pictures with crazy facial expressions. I started making a lot more money. I started feeling lonely. I wanted to make more friends that I thought were smarter than me so that I could continue to be challenged and gain some much needed wisdom. That's when I remembered Mark.