Life in the Third World

Tips I Amateurly Conjured In answering NCLEX & NLE Question Books

2011-01-04T21:07:00.000-08:00

The December 2010 NLE last December 19 & 20 was very difficult period. It may sound defeatist, but my heart and mind couldn't lie. I am really hoping and praying I can pass it. When I left the room to join my college friends outside their testing rooms, I was so disappointed I have countless answers that were products of stupidity! What was i thinking?! There were lot of questions that I could not classify under nursing jurisprudence and professional development. They were more of hospital and unit management which I deduce subjects from the master class. The choices were also very tricky, listing all possible general choices that match the concerned topic. When I went home the 2nd day, papa urged me to go along with my friends who were having an afterparty with our review center. I told him i cannot go. He replied in Visayan, sometimes I should also learn how to get drunk! So I reached a bottle of Tanduay Ice from our supply box and got groggy after nearly finishing a whole bottle. That, and easy A made things bearable that day, but please underline the former.

For me to list what I learned during my 6 months review, I answered a looooot of test questions from the past board examinations and NCLEX reviewers (both in print and CD-rom) from Saunders, Lippincott, Mosby's, Delmar, Kaplan, Springhouse, Pilliteri, and chapter questions from Kozier, Lemone and Burke and Videbeck. Trust me, it made no difference in the actual seating. Or even if it did engineer how you would feel before jumping in ice, it made no difference as to how the exam would make you feel after you left the school gate and fixed your gaze towards the sky in a hopeful note that you can still make it through.

1. Look at the commonality of options

2. Look at the CUES in each question. Over-confidence enables us to read through @ torpedo speed neglecting the BASIC principles we have to remember. Sometimes, the cues point to answers in choices that are tricky.

3. Convert necessary values.

4. Never stereotype (another flaw of over-confidence) questions and options. Its more likely a bait and you have to recognize it before getting trapped by your own stupidity. Read the question. Do not make unintelligent assumptions. Stop. Read the question again and interpret it as it is. Think hard.

5. Do not readily eliminate options. Give them equal chances to survive your counterpoints. Systematically argue with them within the boundaries of scientific logic.

6. Look at the consequences produced by each option.

7. Do not try to fit the rationale of the supposed answer to a favored option.

8. Adverse effects are to be reported. Side effects are, under in normal conditions, expected.

9. Pay attention to these cues well: before, during, after

10. Beware of options that are seemingly right, but require doctor's order.

11. There is always a logical explanation for each answer. Make sure it is defensible in a debate.

12. Don't just reread items mindlessly.

13. For incorrect options, it either: there's 1 word making it incorrect, its irrelevant

14. If you have problems identifying the answer, refer back to the situation and identify cues that could narrow your options.

15. When answering questions, always be client-centered, prioritize according to needs, and Maslow's hierarchy. When choosing implementation options, answer these questions first: is it safe? is it relevant to the situation and to the kind of patient served?

16. The wrong answers are interspersed by right answers that are seemingly believable (I call them Trojan Horses). Do the extra mile of thinking beyond what is obvious and there you'll see what makes it wrong.

17. It may sound like it but think twice! The other may indirectly sound like it too and surprise surprise, its the right option!

My Current Hair and My Post Christmas Visit to Izy

2011-01-03T18:15:00.000-08:00

I now have short hair! After months of enduring a series of verbal lashes from my parents (causing me a great deal of unwanted stress) ranging from "old hag" name calling to vehement sneering, they finally succumb to victory by carefully plotting the demise of my promising hair plans in a fool proof fashion the type that grips you harder from the tight reins of parental superiority with Count Orloff's eerie masterpiece playing at the background. God bless how shall I look with my flabby post Christmas self. A diabetic Dora. I originally wanted it to look like Cindy Goh's cut from the Amazing Race Asia Season 4. However, my quick judgment warned me that it is possible the earth may stood still if I walked around looking like Matilda's stepbrother.

My overnight stay @ Izy's house (which I deduced a conniving plot to accompany her and appease her somewhere between monophobia or paranormal phobia, haha!) last December 30, 2010 was memorable with gratis of course to her! Her dogs have grown! Its been ages since I last saw them dawdling in their living room. We were a bit alarmed when their pet parrot gave a stressed sound. I was even more alarmed when he told me it is possible that snakes could be lurking around the greens. That is why every now and then during that time i assisted to feed her dogs and remove dried laundry, I found myself actively gazing around trees, plants, and the crevices of suspicious objects. haha! 1989 did not guarantee me immunity! I told her I wanted to learn music this year, planning a violin course at a local music studio and added I might have to start from 0 and relearn how to read notes. I nearly cried when she gamely picked a pieace of paper and pen and drew differences between the Treble and Bass clef, different notes and measures,a little bit about rest, sharps and flats. She opened the lid of their piano and started retrieving a musical sheet from the famed Joe Hisaishi's Spirited Away theme. She showed me how to read the notes and apply them in piano playing. She also suggested that instead of violin, I should sign up for a class in piano. While she was heating our food for dinner, she let me play a Go application in her Iphone she downloaded from Pandanet server. I was very excited and my eyes welled with repressed tears after 4 long years of hibernation. I told her of my plans to study the game again (I suddenly remembered the summer of 2006 after playing Badminton at Catalina Gardens, we walked down Shrine Hills and stopped at Shalom store at the Saturn St. curve to play some Go in their chess tables. I brought my paper chips!). The highest level I got from a handicapped play is > 15 Kyu! Pathetic! I played on a 19x19 board,easy level and after a few moves, the app passed and i won a premature epic battle! I was more of questioning myself. So, IO changed the settings to mid difficulty level but I wasn't able to finish it. While we were eating our dinner, we were able to discuss the following: national revolution from a third world state, anthropology, regional dishes of McDonalds (didn't know Germany has included beer in their menu), her stand on my stand to conjure an implementation program for garbage disposal, my frustrations on mediocrity and people easily swayed by comfort and mre follies sacrificing their principles, her philo learning from the UP system, respect, our interpretation of who we are in the greater scheme of the universe, and my stand on religion and her counterpoint. She told me a revolution like that of the Americans and the French must ensue to liberate the people from the cancers of society that has long imprisoned creativity and autonomy. (*to be continued)

Activities 1/3-4/10

2011-01-03T17:32:00.000-08:00

Things I did yesterday:

Updated pc performance using smart defrag, advanced system care, ccleaner, and registry repair. Tracked recent updates in the ff: applications ccleaner, cnet tracker, and advanced system care. ~ with gratis to cnet's polls on popular diagnostic apps downloadables

Downloaded registry applications + smart defrag beta

Saved important job files

watched unstoppable

transferred data to mail

made discharge plans

updated blog

checked mail

edited objectives

organized online accounts in case i got vascular dementia

solved sudoku for a looong time, i almost hit myself for being so stupid

Things I shall do today!

solve 10 sudoku puzzles with observed time limit

dress blog: update it big time

review feasibility schedule

outline driving lessons

create a tabular matrix on working conditions and immigration @ selected sites

outline schedule for CPE

read some important files

visit NYC

play Mystery Case Files - Dire Grove Collector's Edition

find a way to save musopen's collection

Read news

Read 30 dicitionary pages

Plan hunting tomorrow

Do the laundry

wash the dishes

see if you still need the ff and find a way to delete them asap: adobe bridge cs3, adobe reader 9.1, foxit reader, adobe device central cs 3, adobe: fonts all, library files, and linguistics cs 3

working time: until your sisters arrive from hospital duty.

rigorous observance of prepared sched when i could already wash my hair, so that's by wednesday!

Film Characterization: Lagaan: Once Upon a Time in India

2011-01-03T00:14:00.000-08:00

Bhuvan

He is an enigmatic young farmer with courage born of conviction – and a dream in his heart. He shows great compassion to people (especially to lower caste classification) and animals (dubbed by Captain Russell as their protector because he distracts them when Captain Russell poaches). His character has been very consistent all throughout, his values and principles intact. He despises the actuations of the British and was one of those desirous for justice. When he knows that they can, he will not stop trying (even though the scales are tipped to their disadvantage). He used to be hated by the villagers, even the headmen of Tantpura and Bhind (another Indian village) after his decision to play in the cricket match with the British, however the clever reasonings he delivered accompanied by the brave trainings of cricket has drove the hearts of the villagers towards supporting him whole. When asked by the villager’s elders why he acquiesced to the British condition, he replied “The Brits did not leave us a choice. No one was even that strong to pay lagaan, how much more double lagaan…The people don’t have grains to fill coffers, even hungry stomachs. This should not be perceived as a calamity but an opportunity to turn hope into reality.” He is a brave and able man, even being a British captain will not be a license for his submission. He commented hard on the disparaging outlook of the villagers to untouchables, even went far as reprimanding the village doctor and their village chief.

Captain Andrew Russell

He is an arrogant, sadistic and capricious man who wielded the power of life and death over the villages under his jurisdiction. He heads the British cantonment near Champaner and is quite reckless with the political decisions he make. Russell is fond of dares and wagers, always with the object of humiliating Indians and forcing them to adopt British habits. He loves to poach animals (which greatly angered Bhuvan) and picks on Indians when he sets in pissed moods, even went far as killing them. He is the stereotypical evil villain who looks down on people’s capacities, ultimately bringing him into embarrassment. He does political blackmail to maintain that iron fist the cantonment keeps. He highly despises Bhuvan, which started when Bhuvan drove his poached animals to distractions, and intensified when Bhuvan made a matter-of-fact commentary on the British engagement in absurdities such as playing cricket. Because of his decision to cancel lagaan for 3 if the Indians win in the cricket match that will be staged in 3 months, the British Provincial Center expressed their resentment to his political incapacity and “preposterous idea”. They challenged him to pay all the taxes of Champaner and the whole province using the money from his own pocket and pack off to Africa.

Rajah Puran Singhji

He is the governing Rajah of Champaner, the faithful village voice of the Indians to the British, albeit not that powerful to influence Captain Russell’s final decisions. The people of Champaner showed great respect for this authority. Their family has protected Champaner for a couple of years now, and even now that the British commanded their authority in the area. He was the one responsible for the canceling of lagaan in 1892, even begged to Captain Russell to cancel double lagaan payment in 1893. Even though he was the Rajah, he wields not the final decisions for Champaner and submits most of the time to the British wants. Easily swayed by political blackmails, in fairness to him - leaves him no choice. He did not forsake his religion even to the point that it will return something of his requests. The eyes of Rajah Puran Singhji longs for freedom and justice for his constituents in Champaner, but he had a weak heart and could not galvanize this desire. He did not extend beyond his comfort zone to create witty rationales that will finally outsmart Captain Russell. When he learned that the double lagan could be cancelled, one can see through his judgement that he wants the people to emerge victorious, as he is also pained by the circumstances they are in.

Gauri

The young and perky village girl, who dreams of marrying Bhuvan, the man she loves the most. She dreams of living in a home with a Neem tree in the courtyard, a big field in the side of it with 2 cows, 1 pair of oxen, and 3 goats. She is jealous of Elizabeth and Bhuvan’s closeness and gets emotional when she is being overlooked by Bhuvan. She was the first to express his support for Bhuvan and has not faltered since in supporting Bhuvan’s desire after that night (most seen by her cooking for food during the team’s practices at a barren hill near Champaner). She loves fortune telling, even believed what Ghuran said about putting henna on her hands and wedding bangles for this year.

Elizabeth Russell

She is the good natured sister of Captain Andrew Russell, a complete contradiction of his malevolence. Her attachment to the Indians started when she saw Bhuvan, Ghuran, and the others peering behind a bush to witness a cricket game. She was amused by this “never-give-up” spirit and went that far in helping them, despite her caretaker’s warnings that once the captain knows, trouble is inevitable. Ever morning, he arrives at the designated practice site of the Indians and taught them all about cricket from the dimensions of the playing field, the 3 pirnciples in cricket which are wielding the ball, bowling the ball, and guarding the field, to practicing them the correct cricket moves. When asked by the Bhuvan on her motves to help them given that she is British, she replied “What happened to you was unfair and I wanted to give you a fair chance”. She takes fancy in Bhuvan’s bravado and took enough courage to express her love for him later in the film albeit in English (so Bhuvan can’t understand). Soon enough, her actuations were discovered by the captain, but amidst this adversity, she did not give up the Indians.

Ram Singh

He is the Indian personal assistant of Elizabeth. He is a practical man who never forgets his duties for her and his Indian roots. He was also secretly happy about Elizabeth’s helping of his fellow brothers, but warned her anyway about Captain Russell’s wrath if this is found out. Because Elizabeth could not understand comprehensive Indian language, he does the favor of serving as her interpreter as she conducts cricket game lessons to Bhuvan and his team. She also teaches Elizabeth how to speak basic Indian so that she can be competent herself in dealing with the villagers. She accompanies Elizabeth’s journey to the practice hill, and even to the temple where the village celebrated Vishnu’s birthday feast.

Lakha

He likes Gauri but Gauri has no feelings for him. A scruffed ruggedly looking man who chops wood for a living, one look at him can foretell something is entirely fishy with his motives. He spilled the beans when he told Captain Russell personally that Elizabeth is helping the Indians in cricket. Captain Russell suggested he better join Bhuvan’s team. When he joined, everyone in Bhuvan’s team doubted his malicious intentions because he is known to be a cheater. He expressed his desire to improve in running. Bhuvan accepted him because he has chopped for so long actually gaining strength in the way he holds an axe. Bhuvan also, being mindful of Lakha’s unpredictability said “For the whiteys, it may only be a game, but for us it is our life”.

Mai

She is the widowed mother of Bhuvan and is always supportive of him in all his endeavors. Bhuvan highly respects his mother and promised her to take a bride her mother loves. She shows deep concern for the village and was one with them in praying for the monsoon to bring rain at last to their parched lands.

Isar Kaka

He is the father of Gauri, who is also the village brahman physician. He was one of those angered by Bhuvan’s decision to play cricket against the British but was won over when Bhuvan coaxed the whole village with a song in the night. He turned out to be one of those faithful members who protects the integrity of Bhuvan’s character and the team in general. Although already in his middle adulthood, he expressed lack of sound judgment when he sided with the castes system rule of not intermingling with the untouchable but was hit by Bhuvan’s wisdom that his medical books did not license him to exclude the socially excluded from treatment. Isar Kaka admires Bhuvan’s courageous stand in life.

Bagha

He was one of Bhuvan’s cricket team players, and is principally the village temple’s mute drum roller. His first appearance marked an expectant character who drums for nimbus cloud formation (but disappointed when the clouds only passed Champaner). He is physically built but quite childish in his dealings. He is loyal to Bhuvan’s dreams and never gives up in practicing polishing his part in the cricket team.

Deva Singh Sudhi

He was once a soldier for the British cantonment, but he left after he was maltreated and saw the disparaging actuations of the British against the Indians. He joined Bhuvan’s cricket team after watching them practice. When asked by Bhuvan what his motives for joining are, he said “I wanted to fight the British maybe not through swords or guns but through bat and ball”.

Kachra

He is an arm-paralyzed untouchable who lived at the outskirts of Champaner near the practice site of the cricket team. One day, an outbound ball landed at his space after Bhuvan’s attempt to catch it. When Bhuvan requested him to throw the ball back at him, he amazingly did so actually spinning it. Bhuvan decide that he will be the 11^th and the last player of the team. This was oppose by the conservative village. But Bhuvan defended his right and reverted the village thwarted views on the castes system as a means to disenfranchise people towards social acceptance. His rhetoric later on won the village’s chief decisions to include the untouchable. Kachra was immensely happy; even shed tears after Bhuvan’s statements and his touching of him amidst culture restriction. Although physically handicapped, his limp hand turned into one of the team’s secret weapons (he invents spin bowling). The scene of his acceptance into the team, championed by Bhuvan against the initial opposition of everyone else, is both moving and anachronistic, prefiguring by decades Gandhi’s efforts.

Movies that I Scheduled this January

2011-01-03T00:07:00.000-08:00

The Illusionist (its been ages since i last saw a 2D film)

Coming Soon (horror thai, crossing my fingers it will not let me down)

Suicide Club (54 girls committed suicide along a railway and its only the introduction, melodramatic gore!)

Buried (very intriguing plot and poster)

The King’s Speech (highly rated by RT critics and colin firth is here!)

~~Summer Wars (seen it and i'm kinda disappointed, but the ending theme is memorable! sigh! koi koi!)~~

Black Swan

The Social Network (my friend's copy is broken)

Les Triplettes de Belleville

The Strange Case of Angelica (read again)

A More Specific Take

2010-12-25T22:27:00.001-08:00

These are more specific plans I have for myself this year. Contrary to what I used to think, I have thought about these for almost a year, before taking a leap of faith and jumping into the bandwagon. There is a need for me to summarize my own cluttered perspectives. In a third world country like the Philippines, and a vocation in which almost half a million are registered and are looking for what you are looking, the exercise for prudence is a necessity.
What are you living for? What is your grand purpose? I happen to know your future depends on the everyday schemes you engage and a large chunk from these schemes comes from what you would like to think about yourself engaging in such future. If I wanted to live a principled life, it must stem from properly doing of the most mundane things, decision making to confronting challenges and compromising. Therefore, one must breathe, eat, drink, cloth, think, and act according to the most ideal standards of man. Philosophy is an abstraction, respected during the ancient times and now although the majority finds it difficult to appreciate what is deep, shall you veer away from it from a mere criteria of popularity? There is still hope I believe for this country to prosper and I'm going to spend the rest of my life acting on it. I shall push even harder with every failure. and so the maxim goes: Live life as if its your last!

I offer this spiritual and meaningful abstinence to myself and to the ill-deprived.
No Fastfood,Nothing artificial, No condiments, No chips and candies and chocolate. No anime. No TV series this year. Delay gratification. If I have money, I shall save it. I shall not spend it on food because aside from losing it too soon, I realized it doesn't make any difference if I engage in it or not. From what I used to think that its a physiologic necessity to appease the id, we can broaden the ego to include other alternatives (cheaper ones). How can engaging in this outlook change me? Discipline. Your future shall elaborate on the effects of the virtue.

Continuing Professional Education

Month	Week	Activities
January	1^st Week	Research prospective universities Email them for clarification Narrow it to 5 with full comparative information – distance learning module, local, schedule, fee, course, etc.
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
February	1^st Week	Finish materials for application Target application by the 4^th week
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
March	1^st Week	Finish materials for application Target application by the 3^rd week

English Class

Month	Week	Activities
January	1^st Week	Enroll @ Niner 9.0 Start Classes Purchase/Download/Research comprehension/vocabulary testbooks Purchase Fluent English Level: Advanced Plan when to take IELTS exams Daily: Read 10 pages of dicitonary am. Read another 10 pages in the evening. Fast review of previous meanings every succeeding day. Book Reading and Analysis Train via word twist 5x warm up! + another training now understanding what you’ve missed. Document every development. Movie Watching every 2 days: American films + British films Goal by the 4^th week: 175 points
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
February March April May June July August September October November December	1^st Week	Classes @ Niner 9.0 Answer comprehension/vocabulary testbooks Utilize Fluent English Level: Advanced Daily: Read 10 pages of dicitonary am. Read another 10 pages in the evening. Fast review of previous meanings every succeeding day. Book Reading and Analysis Train via word twist 5x warm up! + another training now understanding what you’ve missed. Document every development. Movie Watching every 2 days: American films + British films Goal by the 4^th week: 200-600 points

Internet

Month	Week	Activities
January	1^st Week	Study Blog Contents for both blogs Rename blog and start filling it up with information Schedule Update Sessions Schedule Internet Classes Study the ff:  Marketing Skills Advertising Branding Copywriting Email Marketing Google AdSense Google AdWords Google Webmaster Seo Telemarketing Traffic Geyser
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
February	1^st Week	Study the ff: Webmaster Skills Autoresponders Backing up mysql database: Drupal Ftp Google analytics Html Joomla Managing Servers Web Pages Direct Application
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
March	1^st Week	Study the ff items not studied in the first 2 months
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
April	1^st Week	Learn 1 programming tool: Master It

Social Awareness: Environmental Sanitation

Month	Week	Activities
January	1^st Week	Redo uswag mindano blog! Update Read on How to do Research Read on COPAR and utilize some of the methodologies, revise the others! Do a search on must read re: environmental sanitation (utilize the internet, national book store, and local library) Devise an evidenced-based plan to modify environmental sanitation! General methodology! Research on Davao’s Garbage Disposal schemes Schedule weekly updates Read Kyoto Protocol Read whole of planet ark’s content Read Greeniology Read Yokohama and Kawamitsu’s Plan for Garbage Disposal Reminder: Every reading must produce an equivalent analysis to be published in your blog Condense contents Structure: Read – Analyze – React Output: Evidence-Based Research upto Methodology
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
February	1^st Week
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
March	1^st Week
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
April	1^st Week	Communication with the Barangay Officials (74-A) and some local government agencies Pilot Study
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
May	1^st Week	Finish the 2^nd half of the research material and subit to some local government agencies for further study Draft marketing and reinforce implementation strategy!

Month	Week	Activities
January	1^st Week	Learn the Fundamentals of Playing Go Practice via 3x3 software apps (vs. computer) Annual Goal: Achieve 3 dan status
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
February	1^st Week	Practice via Graded Problems for Beginners (scribd) Practice on 3x3 and 9x9 softwares (vs. computer) Review Fundamentals of Playing Go
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
March	1^st Week	Practice via Graded Problems for Pro (scribd) Practice on 3x3 and 9x9 softwares Review Fundamentals of Playing Go
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
April	1^st Week	Practice via Graded Problems for Pro (scribd) Practice on 3x3 and 9x9 softwares Review Fundamentals of Playing Go
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
May	1^st Week	Practice via Graded Problems for Pro (scribd) Practice on 3x3, 9x9, 13x13 softwares Review Fundamentals of Playing Go
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
June	1^st Week	Join Online Tournaments

Nursing Research

Month	Week	Activities
January	1^st Week	Last Week of December: Research on Nursing Publications in the Philippines and around the world Research on the methodology og Nursing researches Read sample full nursing researches Problem Indentification 1^st Nursing Research Activity
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
February	1^st Week
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
March	1^st Week
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
April	1^st Week	Break 2nd Research Problem and Methodology Planner
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
May	1^st Week	2^nd Nursing Research Activity
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
June	1^st Week
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
July	1^st Week
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
August	1^st Week	Break 3^rd Research Problem and Methodology Planner
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
September	1^st Week	3^rd Nursing Research Activity
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
October	1^st Week
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
November	1^st Week
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
December	1^st Week	Break 4^th Research Problem and Methodology Planner

Business Plan

1^st Trimester	Reading Inspirational Stories Reading Practical Business Books Theories on entrepreneurship and its role in economic development Roles and responsibilites, risks and rewards of th entrepreneur Entrepreneurship in the Philippine setng Reading how to generate money online
2^nd Trimester	Reading How to Make a Feasibility Study Reading on Agricultural Businesses: Local and International
3^rd Trimester	Creating a Feasibility Study
4^th Trimester	Publish via blog!

Month	Week	Activities
January	1^st Week	Fundamentals of Music
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
February	1^st Week	Music 1a. Introduction to Western Music from the Middle Ages to Mozart
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
March	1^st Week	Music 1b. Introduction to Western Music from Beethoven to the Present
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
April	1^st Week	Foundations of Tonal Music I Foundations of Tonal Music II
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
May	1^st Week	Purchase Violin Begin Violin Studies
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
June	1^st Week	Violin Education
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
July	1^st Week	Violin Education
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
August	1^st Week	Violin Education
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
September	1^st Week	Practice #1 Violin Piece: Finish It
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
October	1^st Week	Practice #2 Violin Piece: Finish It
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
November	1^st Week	Practice #3 Violin Piece: Finish It
	2^nd Week
	3^rd Week
	4^th Week
December	1^st Week	Practice #4 Violin Piece: Finish It

I still have to finish my planning on my nursing CPE, another portion of social awareness campaign re:health promotion, music and movie-making classes, and business plans! So help me God with all these!

Justification

2010-12-23T04:04:00.000-08:00

The Evolutionary theory takes into account how societies came to be from the idea of “survival of the fittest”. The strong continues to charter the paths, leaving weaklings delayed in its trails in the fight for resources. The strong forms, charges, leads, wins, generates, paves, survives. The weak stoops, disintegrates, retreats, loses, degenerates, perishes. If this is how we look at how we came to be now, with general conclusions centered on 2 sides of the coin only, we might be understating the most salient elements of what makes one society develop, most importantly, survive. It directs our thinking to focus only on the extremes, to the ends and not the means employed, to celebrate the victories and weep over losses. To downplay the inner science and art of survival is not a justifiable viewpoint if we wish to intelligently understand our past, how we live in the present, and how the future will look after we command how we would like it to look. In this age where humanitarian principles are upheld and justice is called forth to transcend the everyday schemes of life, we do not simply undermine the weak. We help them regain strength, so that they can equally survive. A nation of strong people who work hand in hand is better than a nation where only the strong survives. It is a daunting task yes, given the magnitude poverty has stricken multiple nations and resources draining from capitalist exploitation, however, the ability to change things is not limited by distance, race, time, or capability, only black-and-white bigotry and giving up.

Structural-Functional Paradigm

We all have a responsibility, a contribution to make, in exchange for security and the opportunity to live. When we were born into this world, we have marked a birthright to bring something in return for reception. We spend the first few years arming for paths we would take, meditating on the grand purposes we have been tasked to accomplish, and figuring the ills of society and how can we preserve the resources of our generation that affects our generation, that in turn affects us, in the lowest scale of comparison. We adjusts to this social order, cooperating with the rest of the population, performing our responsibilities with the highest sense of integrity imbued with nationalism and spiritual value to actively contribute in the attainment of our country’s national objectives. In the future, we will be part of the workforce working to employ something that is really timely, something that is more equal, workable, feasible, transparent, and participatory.

Dreams and Goals for the Year

2010-12-23T02:53:00.000-08:00

Dreams During my Lifetime

· To build an agricultural empire!

· To make our country 1^st world, and 80% of its population, middle class!

· To write books on the rise of a third world nation!

· To compose musical pieces that can rival the classics!

· To be a world-class violinist!

· To make the Philippines one of the premiere nursing research facilities in the world!

· To be one of the sought after consultants on nursing practice and research, and policy development!

· To be written in the pages of the world’s history and never be forgotten!

Goals for the Year

· Violin

1. To learn how to play violin.

2. To be able to play 10 classical pieces, beautifully.

· Reading Subscription

· Movie-making

1. Learn how to make a movie

2. Make 2 short films 30 minutes each

3. Join local film hobby group

4. List movies to be seen this year

· English Proficiency

1. Enroll at Niner 9.0 for British and American English certification

2. Finish the dictionary with 3x rotation

3. Be at the 95 % percentile rank when playing word twist

· Hobbies

1. Learn how to play and master Go.

2. Learn how to do origami.

3. Have a comprehensive database on fixing tea, and create Philippine versions!

4. Learn about astrophysics.

5. Travel abroad as an exchange student/visitor!

· Social Awareness and Application

1. Outline a comprehensive environmental sanitation implementation program patterned after the Kyoto Protocol

2. Outline a comprehensive apporach towards strengthening health promotion implementation strategies in the locality.

3. Apply both outlined programs in Barangay 74-A (pilot testing)

4. Join social awareness organizations

· Internet

1. Make a new blog.

2. Make a new mail.

3. Create a secret facebook account.

4. Sign Up for a home based online job!

· Nursing Practice

LOCAL

1. Read continuously materials on Medical Surgical Nursing.

2. Train: Hospital, IV, Dialysis,

3. Research protocols on what international employers look for and train based on their criteria.

4. Be trained, hired before June!

5. Outline a quality review on nursing practice in a public hospital.

INTERNATIONAL

1. Train under international nursing competence

2. Look for scholarships abroad

3. Gather prospective employers complete with data, requirements, qualifications, living conditions, benefits, etc

4. Look for 5 prospective employers by the end of the year and finalize!

· Diet

1. Weigh 50 kilos weight before March using ascetic diet (haha)

· Books

1. Read 1 book a week.

· Business

1. Make a comprehensive feasibility study on my argricultural empire

· Nursing Research

1. Get affiliated with the nursing research centers in the Philippines

2. Get affiliated with the nursing research centers abroad

3. Produce 3 researches this year!

Random Thoughts

2010-04-23T07:50:00.000-07:00

Watashi... felt uneasy during review sessions. Its as if every slide of my tissue is being examined for rotting. I go back home, scan my notes, but before I must complete what I ought to do, my mind wanders off to self-gratification. The price of this deliberate association must be paid by means of diligent reciprocation. The only problem lies in the host. Everything reminds me of school, of how difficult it was for me to tie the ends just so I could float, and I felt like I am not yet ready to be bashed by what is real. I bargained for time. Fate shall give me until April to decide where have maturity placed me. I may sulk, regress to scholarly what-nots, demo, I shall not and never shall I endeavor to waste the belief of people in me. Speaking of sloth, it pains me to see myself low-esteemed by my performance during my own reviews. 10 mistakes especially in succession made me think I do not deserve any great expectations. I kept telling myself, Ganbatte ne!, demo, to see yourself flunking and to know the reason behind is just frustrating. Even though I have not even made it to the top 5 during review classes, I shall not give up! Its the one thing I treasured knowing and believing from my affinity to anime! Zettai-no!

I must beat myself with the yardstick if I will not finish this business by the end of April. I badly need a retreat! I have watched the following anime immediately after graduation and I shall be making my reviews after I scramble to make room for inclusions: Naruto Shippuden (yes, Im a loser, but I only stopped during 2006 because I had enough with fillers, I only get to see Kisame and Itachi, I want more of Akatsuki! Demo, my course has not been very generous with ample time, and I just grew tired over things that do not contribute. Fast forward: I miss it), Detective School Q (i think this was what carl suggested when I was cruelly misplaced in our first pinning practice and I brushed him saying, nothing beats Detective Conan. But boy was I wrong. If detective conan, was unfair in that some cases were NANI?!!!-my logic don't fit in, this time, its more of Sugoi Sugoi tante-san!), a very little bit of Bleach (because my sister kept saying that its one of the best and the only reason why I said little is that I might have to extend April to a few more days to accomodate 200++ episodes), and Bokura Ga Ita (sigh! the best romantic ecchi ever, but please underline romantic!).

For the past few days, I felt like I need to loosen a bit, free myself momentarily from what must be ideal, cause I still can't seem to connect the puzzle pieces together. What do I want to become? I figured I answered this 4 years ago, demo, circumstances have not been simplistic. It is dermal to be swayed by what your peers or the world show you to be exciting, demo, have you listened closely to your heart?

The Politics of canteen buying and some

2009-02-24T04:57:00.000-08:00

When i entered school age, everything was really new. Quite vividly, I can still remember my pre-actual grade 1 experience during dinner, I asked my mother if a whole day schooling is okay. Before dusk set in, I approached the start of my serious academics with vigor and cleaned all my bookstore-smelling-but-i-love-it-anyway school items with tissue and alcohol, even the plastic flat box of my 16 pc. crayola. I sharpened all my perfect cone shaped graphites, and neatly piled my sepia (because i had no concept of whiteness with gratis to my mother whose notebook decisions are little less confined to what can be more practically afforded), placed neat and straight bond papers, rulers, paste, and other sorts of art papers (that now I find it pretty much useless and funny)in the clear envelope. I was not a Disney-worhipping child, but I always would want everything pleasing to the eyes and pastel in hue. I went to school like an adult,devilishly eyeing (as a matter of fact) adults even big kids as if this 4-ft something is someone they should fear. During break times, I always had juice and sandwich. But after a while, my parents got tired of fixing me a good-parent-merienda that I had to tirelessly exhaust a quarter of my break lining the mamihan arm of the canteen. 1997, apart from the looming Asian crisis, is the year I was oriented that kids can in fact change their personal menus, nutrition aside. The heavens defecated Piatos and entrusted its key special ingredients to Jack and Jill.I had tasted it first from my friend, and it was this time when asking for some spare was difficult because kids tend to be so possessive with their items very much and unsurprisingly including food. I therefore theorized that I got my first answer to the ho-hum question of the righteous "what is my life's purpose" when I tasted potato chips powdered with cheese that crushed my taste buds and classified all distinct four into one classic gastronomic euphoria. My science teacher, at some point, deceived me, but took the extra credit anyway. Piatos was sold at P7.00 and immediately the next day, I ran ahead after Bless-us-Oh-Lord, to plunge into the sea of kids raising their bills, screaming decibels as if the tindera is at the other side of the road. We were a club of superficial people who only want a piece of the new brand(our first introduction to phoniness). That is, everytime further pupils come within the area of extreme heat and stress, pre-existing lining kids would tender a poisonous alarm of displeasure. As a fight and flight response, muscular power increases beyond measure enough to push towards the grills half past people as if they're chickens about to be chickened, voices sharpened enough to overpower 3 weaklings, and arms extend beyond 60 degrees, innocently shoving off whoever it is that got in its way. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the politics of canteen buying. Its Harold and Kumar's pre-and intra- experience to whitecastle except were not debating racism, migration politics, who should be on the wheel, and buying pot. The ordeal after acquiring the purchase is another political idea, however. This was also the time wherein I had developed my concept of hating and liking people. It was when I was 7 that I discovered my affinity to the misfits, rejects and weirds. Its just that over kids who love to display the "amor" of their greatness, I find it gratifying to share my baon and spare some talk to people who especially gets bullied. I also discovered that a slight magnification of their presence will move me into tears. I had this fat girl classmate who was asked to write something on the board, and I gazed at her like I would have done to Mama Mary at the school grotto because of her cuteness and size. The way she stood up carefully bringing her plus-sized extremities in control and her gluteus would seem stick out. Some of my classmates would tease her and I would look at them straight. But there was one time when she was asked to write again, and the same thing happened, I stupidly cried. At this point in time, I was already active in extra curricular activities. It was also at this point that I can say I loved coloring and I always wanted to see my work posted in front of everybody else, which was not the case all the time.

Righteousness aside

2009-02-24T04:44:00.000-08:00

I have forgotten to address few questions that quite baffled me on rabies. The thing on hydrophobia, if the reason happens to be laryngeal spasm, why does it have to be so liquid-specific. Laryngeal spasms itself cause inability to swallow, then it may also include the solids. If liquid’s resemblance to saliva perhaps explains it, then neurologic-defect bound anxieties enables them to reject liquids. I also have come to know that difficulty of breathing, swallowing, and the feeling of strangulation comes with the combined spasmodic effects of the diaphragm and larynx. I have this realization in the past on the real essence of the nurse’s work – that it should have been disease prevention and treatment in the first place. If it’s otherwise, we would just be the same as everybody else. No professional meaning can we grasp from what we do, if we make the fundamental the most essential, discounting that exclusive knowledge we impart that makes us put more feathers in our cap. It’s the high-end that delineates us from the average. However, it was on rabies that made me realize that the fundamental remains to be the most essential. If the goal of health care is independence, then we must bank on our efforts towards equating independence not with the management of diseases, but in the consistent observance of health being the primary target. To nurse is mutli-tiered, so we also put prime to prevention and treatment but only if the limelight fails to power enough energy. A bite to death makes me recall Snow White’s careless indulgence to the witch’s apple, but contemporary times (in the rabies sense) put careless complacency drawing closer to Travis’ deadened left. It is the same complacency that adds more damage to the damaged in every aspect of pathology. Therefore countering this potent reclusion from what science can give calls for putting the same compelling persuasion that we can offer. The local barangays must intensify its information dissemination about when and when not to touch dogs, what must be done after getting bitten, and that each is responsible for propagating and actualizing the knowledge acquired. It is also in the same light that responsible pet ownership must be practiced, and that stray animals must be rightfully placed to sheltered agencies. I feel so ambivalent injecting medicine to people. While I gain experience, they gain their life back, but the trauma remains. While I rejoice for every bleb I formed on their deltoid regions, God knows what they’re minds pull off from the pain. It’s anachronistic the way life spells the check and balance sort of practice. Our experience is their life’s uncertain direction (this realization being optimized in critical wards in the hospital).

2008-12-29T18:37:00.000-08:00

i am an old anemone in your barrier reef
8:37 AM

私はなぜあなたのような多くを金か。なぜか理由なぜ!!!!! i could not make myself put your name in my entry because the translator would not convert your name into kanji, only your partial middle name! talk about plastering "pathetic" on my forehead. did u by any chance drug me last time we met. from a self-confessed alpha female who has reckoned 19 years of expressing hardness on mushiness, sordidness on personal and semi-personal romantic flicks, and freakiness for existing like some recluse, this is really inducing some neurotic abnormalities that suppose to be programmed rigid (beyond others' usual happiness). do u have those chemical pheromones that's suppose to attract orgs like ants? u r so freaking communicable! a chronic ill that slowly rots my system. u r cancer, bringing out the fascist in me in a weird way. a chicken pox for my wretched existence. everytime i happen to see your form (which is sporadic (but nevertheless), like God's compensation for my unrequited efforts), reality becomes surreal, and every carbon-composed-oxygen-breather becomes an unfinished canvas of some Van gogh wannabee who decided to follow the methods of his demise before even wrapping his palettes for good; all are charcoal sketched but stroke fuzziness creeps their characters; all, all, except you. you who is so glaringly vivid before i even recognize i can actually see. when i go home, i muster poetic stupid lines in front of our hard banged stereo as if you're eons away from space and i had to talk to you before you get to be seeped by a black hole. i had to pace, give in to the bulls of my emotional cerebral cortex. i had to endure these flight of thoughts and what's hard is fighting against the flight, which may sound so stupid. i had to debate about the age difference, about the rationality of my irrationality, about the physical criteria that ur dermal immaturity requires (don't deny that). its not your fault you are not born righteous. my friends call me a stalker, i try to label myself human. i congratulated myself for following what i love, but then there are times i'd think, that the reciprocal of my givings, is way below the established kelvin for freezing. i have become miserly, slave to the thoughts of unrequited love, downgrading that reputation i hold for myself for someone who has just knocked at some specific frame in the passage of time. u r just supposed to remain in that order, not until i noticed that it will be too long, too long, from what my mental math can offer, too freaking long before i can see u. that, i cannot seem to bear. my anatomy starts to anabolize what is left of your catabolized image. an updraft of the underpinned. i had to look at you everyday. i had to know you. sometimes, i wonder what compels me to yield at your force field. for years, i am self-subsistent on mine. but with you, i feel so vulnerable. like part of me is in you and i had to see u to complete my own character fractures. because u r so mysterious. i have often felt that i don't belong to this world. that no one can fulfill answers for some things that i question. and too often i feel that even in the presence of the obvious, i am alone, stripped from the plastic socials people has to gamely engage. seeing u made me realize that its normal, its human, to be indifferent, to feel numb about things that don't matter when we age. i could not look at you because, i dont want your rejection. just leave me the benefit of the doubt. i don't care if you don't like me. i don't care if you are so obsessed with someone else who shares your fleeting interests. i am contented with the reality that maybe, your are an exception from what i could have. God has not made me feel this way before. this feeling. so different, so different, it freaks my notion of purgatory. i wanted to ambush and know you (now im becoming Nietzsche's disciple) there is something in you i could not explain that ultimately baffles me. i want to hold your hand and brush it against mine. i want to cling by your long arms even though you look like a goat. i want to pinch very hard your cheeks until they passionately sag. i want to smell you and your hair. i want to poke your thin back and extremities until they bruise ( do i sound like a sadist, conscience? yes!), and i wanted to spell the next hours of my 24/7 gazing at your eyes and your jaws and your hair and your back and your face. i really love every bit of what makes you, shapes you, and what you do. i like your watch, its so original it fits nothing else more perfect than someone like you. i like your sling bag. i like the way you walk, the way your arms seemed to dangle, and how you look like a japanese popstar from afar. i like the way how you move, how you try to kick a sepak ball, how you twitch your arms around your neck, how you arch your back when you feel the pain during practice. and i like the way how you fix your friendster, simple, manly, the songs Ive loved to listen, and now as of this typing, i have not really grew tired from hearing. why this has to happen to me, i dont know. of all, it has to be a minor. you are adored by all, which makes things more complicated and may i add, which makes me very unoriginal and appear like some stalker fan going after his idol. i hate to be labeled as such. but nevertheless, i dont care. i did not like you because you are so handsome.私は実際に実際に金好む!!! honto....

Evaluation

2008-11-24T05:12:00.000-08:00

My apologies for such an overly overdue opinion. I speak not just in behalf of the team I head, but for the people I meet along that merit these observations.

The Intramurals 2008 in totality was a remarkable improvement from last year’s proceedings. I appreciate the foresight of Saligan in managing the teams responsible for a number of committees. By management, we do not only mean group compression of their specific capacities, but more than this is effective communication relayed by their heading superiors. I see, that the supreme council has also extended their efforts to aggressive information dissemination (not that I am compelled to make a comparison) especially to those uninvolved in the major and minor events in the said event. They must have honored that intuition that unless they make a move to inform, the students will remain in their stereotyped assumptions. It is good that they added and maintained these progress boards. Unfortunate people who failed to witness the result announcements have been granted the privilege and convenience to refer to the teams they support and their current standings. These bulletin boards gave justice especially to minor games, who in my opinion, suffers lack of support from participating teams. The intellectual people in ST battling for word power may discount the idea of active encouraging (preferring an environment that is more languid to their taste). Nevertheless, active or languid support, as the case may be, defines a multifactorial sphere that influences ones performance on a good note. The likes of dart, chess, and table tennis aren't exemptions. I move for the supreme council to engage students to witness more of these equally exhilarating games. The people are much more obliged to the obviously visible and “cheerables". It's all about right advertisements.

I also appreciated the GACP’s heading of the attendance this year primarily because they heeded (for a major institutional event high risk for absences) a good majority’s clamor for the abolition of paper jog due to issues of uselessness and time constraint. However, the same issues that went perfectly unresolved yet have come to surface during the 5-6 day event. Checkers tasked to designated rooms left at most 5 minutes before the scheduled closing hour. Not that I am a lover for extending the extendable. Nonetheless, for students who were basking under the thought of fine redemption until the last minutes the organization has promised to save them, a good 5 minutes is crucial. I am speaking with reference to a lot of people who reportedly were disappointed about the early exit. The time I checked was accurate. And another thing, I do not know if this was already a previous issue from GACP’s evaluation last year, but it would be a privilege if departmental organization officers were given a package of little compensation. A cackle and an incongruous retort maybe unsurprising, dismissing the idea as absurd and out of the context of virtues, maybe even because this suggestion is not in every inch very scientific and people might resolve to ideas equating the real essence of service. However, I consider this a consolation for the efforts made. I am not keen to processing how this package works, but a lot of officers were fined because of failure of signing the attendance sheets because of fairly excusable reasons. More than the departmental officers, I believe the GACP should have a list of all the players of each department with their specific schedules of play. Automatically, these participants will be saved from signing their attendance. As a playing faction for example, it has been an arduous task to submit and resubmit schedules to the GACP for attendance clearance. I think this is also consolation for participating students. It is not I believe as what others would want to engage to believe, materializing the reciprocal of what they can give. Games at crucial schedules are not easy to abbreviate. They need all the time to prepare physically and mentally. The delegation for the formal cheerers for example paid an equal fine with those who failed to sign the attendance just because the attendance sheet was not passed by one of the officers accountable. It is cumbersome for some whose tasks are concentrated on trying to even out the details for a competition. I also appeal for pro-players package, by which participating individuals can get lesser fines at each attendance missed. Its all about consolation, about seeing these people sacrifice much even to the extent of academics (the prioritization mantra not always workable because by all means, we are only humans), and getting the lesser dues compared to other people. I would likened it to the best of my understanding on taxation, where tax cuts were offered to those who give much but in average, still remains inadequate, and no-tax cuts for those who can establish an equilibrium of what they spend and earn, maybe even securing a little more of something for future uses. The figurative counterpart translated to intramurals business in connection with the earlier statements is what I wanted to express. Departmental praise may be fleeting and trivial. At the end of the day, they look at class receipts with discontentment, carefully criticizing the balance of efforts made and grants reaped.

One of the things I also appreciated is that whenever there are protests and obvious delineations to the guidelines spelled, the Office of Student Affairs, really makes the effort to consult all the teams concerned and discuss appropriate consequences. I thought that this was the mature and formal proceeding of any civilian concerned, however in the latest gathering our departmental organization has attended in the name of our course, it was pretty insensitive for the organizers to place the least importance towards considering this unavoidable side of competition. Teams who clearly violate deserve to get the equal consequence depending on its gravity, or if it’s all-or-nothing, disqualification. The guides should not be distorted by any philosophical rationalizing of probabilities. It is what it is, just what an average person would understand.

The scheduling of the intramurals was organized, and the proceedings from registration, to sports-related jargon of issues, to announcement of winners, to protests were fairly successful. I agree that everybody appreciates punctuality and this was clearly actualized from Day 1 to Day 6 of the night events, as the case would normally be the opposite in the past. I looked at my watch everytime and I agree that 9 and not later than 9:30 pm should be the closing for any program delivered. The audience speaks for themselves in cases of disappointment. We were just taken aback from Saligan’s announcement to collect a 50 for the Hale concert. It was like a pro bono until they required in every clearance to pay the fee. I understand that it is not slyness that kept them thinking that with such a performing group, they can bullseye the minimum tolerance of audience turnout for the closing. I’d like to think the idea actually worked. Far from the Hale positive-gearing mayhem, are the feelings of participants who should deserve recognition and respect. This was their night. Last year’s awarding was just like a closing chapter from a publicized limelight, but this was different. As much as I’d hate to say it, but because of Hale, a lot recognized those worthy to be recognized. With them walking along the aisle waving whatever it is the teams they are in, people looking and cheering at them like Hercules, that perhaps is the best music a team head can hear for the night.

I myself learned a lot from the formalities at how the upper forms conduct parliamentary meetings and though I must admit, I chuckled at such formality, the benefits we reap from effective communication and careful recognition of opinions lead much to the establishment of solutions for issues that govern the event. I myself am planning to adopt a modifiable parliamentary approach for the organization next year. That a systematic approach at things and being extra attentive to the smallest of details can entail reaps of security. That one is never too old to learn about temperance, the one thing leadership books should not miss describing as unfortunate circumstances may favor unique reactions from people we meet. I learned a lot about people and how to appreciate even the smallest movement of their arms and how it pains them especially if team resources are inadequate to cure them. It is with these simplicities and complexities that I learned more to love others, more of myself and more and more of God.

Stories from My Community Health Nursing

2008-05-24T05:47:00.000-07:00

Reflections

When I say I had my apprehensions in this new course, I didn’t mean to imply accepting wholeheartedly all my limitations and just stop there. I realized that spontaneous and sure circumstances are easy, but those challenging few are the ones that would shape your flexibility and creativity. I say challenging because more often than not, you will be walking side by side with failure, but being this extraordinary individual you know you can break lateral gravity. Before you know it, you will be that person who thinks and acts 100 paces from the others. I see community health nursing as a challenge because in the past I always had my fair share of demeaning moments. Beyond the lines of recognition, I cannot seem to satisfy my standard. It is either there is a glitch in this system I am adopting, or I am less confined to sacrifice and my own lines of discipline. I wanted redemption so bad I’ll do anything to change the way things are looking. I wanted to be vindicated not by familiarity but by the values that I practice, this dignity that I’ve always kept up, and the whole package of being excellent and outstanding. I will study, and if this is not enough, I’ll take its superlative. I’ll take and do the superlative of everything good so that I can be that person I once established. I will read and improve beyond books and lectures. I will practice until the time I see it perfect. I will accept criticisms, arrogance, and demeaning causes, but I will never accept that I am a failure and a weakling, because I never was, never am, and never will. All of us can do it, we just have to think we can.

The Day I said Hello to Alojepan, MD
If I say the quiz is okay, that’ll be pretending. For this matter, I’ll adopt the principle of Kaizen. Being better than yesterday, and tomorrow than today is the best motivating factor to seemingly almost everytime you see yourself washed by the currents of depression. I understood that it is much safer to anticipate even the unpredictable questions that’ll appear. This way, we will be confident that we will be getting what is due. They say illustrations can make retention effective. Still, illustrations are consolidated groups of ideas. If you wrongly perceive a structure to be part of a smaller junction, then think again. Another thing is, when you are confused on what to write because they sound so the same, then it just reflects that you had not gone the extra mile. Read, Distinguish, Read, Distignuish, Familiarize their distinction. Furthermore, items that would actually come as a breeze would have an alter-effect if you are not using your common sense or you did not listen to the lecture. So next time, I’ll make sure I’ll take their opposites. After our quiz, we went to the barangay. Inside, Dr. Ramon Alojepan’s office, we were grilled to death. Honestly, I really did prepare because I do not want to appear incognizant of everything. I have to maintain my composure. Since then, my preparation did not fail me. The fruits of which was my answers to Dr. Alojepan’s EPI questions, specifically the dose, site, and route of immunization. It was a sigh of relief and a beam of pride. Preparation can lead you to extra miles. The feeling of which is just great. If I can be consistently like this, I can achieve what I want. Preparation is the remedy to our anxieties brought about by unfamiliarity of circumstances. So, when you see it fit that its perfectly implanted in the recesses of you’re brain, confidence is not anymore a commodity.

The Day I had to Reflect the Way I Managed My Team
“Together we stand, divided we fall!”
Group dynamics is important in a playing field. Such a playing field like FCS-making reserves no exemptions when it comes to matters like this. Like any desirable trait one would expect in a decent person, it is equally universal. We cannot forevermore bank on the idea of cramming. We need to move, and somehow a good knowledge on management of resources is an asset. In FCS-making, our biggest opponent is time. What’s more is that we are not only after the completion of the requirement but the fulfillment of quality in our tasks. Furthermore, we also value the myriad of things we get along as we make our case, and hopefully it’ll be instruments towards our improvisation. We know that we can successfully hurdle this challenge when we work together, face problems and solve them all together, and feel for each other’s misfortunes. We know we can strengthen our weaknesses and fuse them to become our motivation. All it takes is unity, and to sustain unity, we maintain constant communication, follow-throughs, and good rapport. In opportunities like the library time, we always keep in mind to seriously take it as a chance for case development. Not merely to discuss, and plan, and do all verbose activities, but more importantly to accomplish something. That is why at the end of it, we had our evaluation to determine what extent did we already have accomplish. We make sure that each person has a task to do, and each person is well-supported on details not clearly known, We function like a domino. We need each other to keep the stacks standing. But that doesn’t mean that we are always dependent, in fact it’s just the right mix. We are independent when we personally pay attention to details in our task, yet dependent for we know without each other, the whole FCS will not merit a completion. A few more days then oral defense sets in. I personally hope that God will give us the strength, the will, and the wisdom to sustain this effect.

The Day I Reflected on our FAG (Family Assessment Guide)
As far as securing supportive details for our FAG, and further inquiry into our prioritization, I guess I can say that this day has been fairly successful. At first, we thought that this could be another case of uninterest, a desperate move towards an indirect no. However, my thoughts became placid after the mother herself assured her cooperation for tomorrow’s visit. We cannot take another casualty, and I am just so glad someone actually welcomes our barging in. We are forevermore grateful. But before that we lived by the notion of uninterest. I told the rest of the group that God is just testing us will all these misfortunes. We are not the ones unfortunate. We have a good case so the wait and the understanding is worth every anxiety we feel for the past week. After discovering that the mother’s appointment didn’t pushed through, a breeze of wind figuratively pass through the alleyways. I was so happy. Another thing that made me happy that day is that while some of us are conducting the interview, my groupmates carried the task of establishing a light atmosphere by playing children to feel child-like. Some proceeded with the carcass of house measurements and ocular evaluation of residence. One of my classmates took the time to get Aliyah from Mrs. Dela Cerna’s care, and volunteered to guard her. I was really happy that all of us contributed towards this interview, may it just be a few laughs or what. After our data gathering, I had a disappointment, and that would be my quiz. I admit, I wasn’t able to really delve into the other details of eclampsia reporting. But anyways, its okay. I will just improve next time maybe because I studied incomprehensively last night. That is why when we had our reporting that afternoon, I made an effort to intently listen just to write the correct notes and register the correct information for tomorrow’s debacle.

The Day of Defense
I was already feeling the jitters before we even stared our duty. I know I prepared but still, this creepy nervousness never settles until I already take my stand and start my talking. Somehow, I need to feel the pace so I wouldn’t be so ignorant of the proceedings. I really cared to do my part. I know the only way to handle criticism is to criticize yourself in retrospect. I half-know where my weak points are, and I really conditioned myself to defend each one of them, and also admit what is not defensible brought about by rawness. There is no style involved. No matter how you get so suave or metro, principally when you don’t hand in reasonable rationales you may find yourself submerged in a current you know you can overcome or so. I wasn’t able to defend my FNCP because time ran out and our clinical instructor dismissed us earlier. Tomorrow though, our clinical instructor plans to finish all our FNCPs and reading that is twice the load of what we will report. In lieu of this, I will also do my part in preparing for a battle by saving a lot of information and transforming and using these to break away from the bondage of anxiety. With preparation and planning, we get a step ahead of others.

My Paradise Escapade

2008-04-08T00:11:00.000-07:00

I slept around 3 am 2 nights ago because i was chatting with a friend. Next early morning, my mother bugged the dreams out of me stating that i have gone more riotous these days, barring quality time opportunities with the rest of the family members. She wants me to go with them at some beach resort. I wouldn't want to. Its just that I would not want to go to Paradise, where SOME phony people breed and prey like "this-is-the-elitists-statement". Plus, the fee is way too overboard to have myself enjoyed, (at least i worry about the family's sake). Yes, this is the same paradise that each and everyone might have been accustomed to coming. We share the glory of how it became improved all these years and how the management has created uber amazing hardworking respectful staff. However my definition of a P100.00 entrance fee is more of "yipee, i can swim barefooted and not worry about injuring myself from what environmentalists call semi-dead corals", "i wasn't bitten by some baby sea creatures", "the black baby porcupine didn't prick the hell off my sole" and "thank God for sustainable long tides, i wouldn't worry about swimming in a “sealess” resort". Oh, i forgot, the sea actually returns by 3:00 pm, after a 5 hour hibernation. I wish the moon's placement is not too drawn over the samal island.
I hereby also encourage elementary institutions to come and see for themselves a great learning experience for their students making something out of the “sealess” resort. Perhaps, the management can further add in their "what you can do while you're here in samal" board, that from 10:00-3:00 pm, they can actually self-discover wonders from what is left in their sand, bring out their collection bottles and play either Mr. /Ms. nemo or that who laughs off seeing unique "masterpieces", taking them up and showing off like they have made a great discovery for their age group.
Others would see this as an opportunity to strengthen their budding love (be guilty lovers). Perhaps, the girl would say "hey look! a bunch of fingerlings swimming" and the dashing guy would retort in the spirit of budding love "wow! stay close, you might be bitten" (as if its some lurking piranha). Or that either of them pretends to be newly trained from walking, cunningly in an imbalanced fashion, the irregular placement and sizes of corals branded as the reason, but the real mask of action is hidden by a careless blush in the sun-tipped cheek. Funny. The top 5 sea creatures you will most likely sea will be: starfishes in all their greater glory, baby porcupines, assorted schools and colors of fingerlings (i would prefer "bolinao", lol), baby sea snakes, and duh, semi-dead corals.
Speaking about starfishes, my father, in his attempt to busy himself from the threat of nearing low tide, found a blue starfish. Because I do not concern my studies in biology, I am infact, a nursing student; I frantically said not to hold the starfish as it might be dangerously poisonous and maybe bite. A 7-9 year old kid heard me and saw the starfish that my father enjoyed looking at and replied obnoxiously (as a matter of factly) as if i'm the dummiest 18-year old alive that starfishes don't bite. Well then, okay. I can choose to shut up and wallow in self-pity. I chose to fight off as if i'm some 7-9 year old running to look for her mummy "why don't you try get it!". He went away as if hearing nothing. Ego back for an 18-year old like me. LOL (but pathetic, haha).
There were some Koreans that came that afternoon and it was timely that salvation shows no signs yet of appearing. Their kids apparently are VERY VERY VERY NOISY. As if really proud of something. One can perhaps hear exaltations of some Korean mantra, but to me its as if saying "we are the superior race".
The height of getting pissed that afternoon is the presence of a bunch of phonies who wore nothing short of "this is the elitists’ prostitution swimwear" together with their boyfriends. They were some teenage bunch who wanted to taste the prime of life by making fun of others who coincidentally just passed by their table. I swear if that happened to me, I will never back off from a punching streak. If they think they are the coolest people alive and that their bodies and beauty are to die for, isolate yourself in wishful thinking dude . As far as I'm concerned, you are just one of those who love to display the "displayable" but fall short in character substantiation. Life is not just about experiencing its prime. All the time its all about respect. You just painted your alma mater blacker.
Paradise actually sell buko at P 45.00 (as opposed to a measly 10.00 in the city proper). This is what the DA or DTI should also be looking into. Buko in samal may be a real prized fruit with fairly recognized impending extinction for the prize to soar absurdly high as this. What pained me is that I actually saw coconut trees nearby. I vocalized my concern of financial preservation to my father who seemed very "I-love-paradise-resort" mode. He replied that Paradise loaned much to develop the area. At least, this is the only way to keep their business alive. Gee, at least they could just have spared the buko.

Cool Links

2008-04-05T20:48:00.000-07:00

Switch (or trade) used DVDs, CDs, Video Games and Books: http://www.switchplanet.com/
Youtube for text documents: http://www.scribd.com/
All about drawings: http://www.ratemydrawings.com/
Fun and active community where people can bi**h about their bosses anonymously: http://bossbitching.com/
7 Excellent destinations to watch TV Shows for FREE: http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/7-excellent-destinations-to-watch-tv-shows-for-free/
18 Free Ways To Download Any Video off the Internet: http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/18-free-ways-to-download-any-video-off-the-internet/
Annotate those images: www.picbite.com
Lets you create ad campaigns to manage different advertising spots on your website: http://rotatee.com/
Legally download copyrighted books: http://www.wowio.com/index.asp
Locate websites stealing your content: http://www.copyscape.com/
Free web hosting service of up to 250 mb space and 100 gb bandwidth: http://www.000webhost.com/
If you want to know what your IP address is, click this link: http://www.ip-adress.com/
For ebook fans, they have more than 20, 000 free pdf books: manybooks.net/
If you want to download limewire pro for free:http://www.blogiseverything.com/
Send messages in the future: http://www.timemachiner.com/
for all these, thank you to this site (very very cool): http://www.makeuseof.com

Fishy Helper

2008-04-04T18:18:00.000-07:00

We have this small household problem. Three nights ago, while I am busy watching chopped movie episodes of Juno, my father propped me to remove my earphones immediately. By the look of his face, he could have passed as the texas chainsaw murderer sidekick. He had been out to talk to our neighbor about the growing strangeness of our helper. Apparently, it was confirmed that our helper brings our own cooked meals for her security guard boyfriend. The "fishiness" started when my father went out early morning for his routine jog. As he curbed around the corner of Venus Street, he saw our helper carrying a bowl of food. Upon seeing my father, she quickly hid it behind our back. Since my mother (seventh from Annabelle Rama) was with my father at that time, my father chose not to react. Then he said there was this second time my mother left a plateful of "lechon" (roasted pig) in the refrigerator. Morning came and my mother rechecked the lechon contents and found it diminished considerably. She asked our helper about the sudden decrease (confident that none of the immediate family members did it). Our helper replied "ambot lng, asa pa man diay nako na dalhon". There was something wrong about her reply. My detective conan instincts say that the last few words were unnecessary and that it preempted something. Mr. Bernales, our neighbor also attested that when my father leaves to drive us to school, her fellow-helper (that of my grandmother's) would say "wala na si kuya lit". Then when the 2 of them are here inside the house, they would use their native language to converse. My father (already partially paranoid) reasoned that if they were not hiding something, why is there a need to talk that way. He said that he will be firing her when my mother comes back from Marbel. He could not imagine if this matter went up a notch higher. If food becomes objects, and objects become money, this thing surely should be stopped. Demo, there is something that keeps me from firing our helper. The thing is, she has been with us for the longest time possible. If the average stay of a helper in our family is 5 months, she has stayed for more than a year. She has been with us when uncle and his family came back, when our lola suffered much from cancer till her death and wake, when our cousins did not have a helper and offered to do their laundry. She has been trusted by another grandmother during her trips to the farm, to where my other uncle worked and has even sent off this uncle to Saudi. I really really like her a lot. She is more than a helper for me. I really don't understand but there's something special in the way she works. I will never forget the time she sends us off to school or the time I vomited and cleaned it up. It’s not just "because-its-her-job" aspect. I could not talk to my parents about this. This is something feely, emotional, corny and apparently, they are not like that.

2008-04-03T20:55:00.000-07:00

i updated my blog a little. i ended up trying to figure out why my first entry is so far from where its supposed to be. i have already edited the html a gazillion times, still the same problem. now, im using this method and hopefully this prob will be over. i also edited my fastweb account. i wanted to find a scholarship as early as now, so i can process whatever it is the requirements needed. i cannot do this alone. and my parents seem so traditional in everything. i happen to view life as an octopus. hopefully, i'll succeed. 2 more years and i have to figure out what i'm really for.

Diary Entree (way back when I had >50 zits)

2008-04-03T08:25:00.000-07:00

This is a tribute to my friend izy. During the whole Lapanday (a banana producing corporation at Mandug, Davao) internship, i learned a lot about life and how to make the most of it. She even let me borrowed some of her anime collections (w/c i think is the most obvious reason that propelled me to type all these). I had fun not just inside the lab, but in how my life has seemingly took a 180 degree turn. i am also mindful to the fact that she may never read this, for i think she has never surfed this blog yet. anyways, this is a real diary entry (who cares). i really wrote this from my notebook because way back then and until now i think, i am the type of person who never ceased to be amazed in keeping handwritten treasures.

May 3, 2005
Dear Diary,
Yesterday, our internship ended with a Japanese dinner. The 4 of us went to I LOVE SUSHI for an experience of chopsticks, eat all you can rice, dummplings, chicken lollipops and stir fried spicy noodles! Plus, a great sip of their new strawberry red iced tea! We ate our hearts towards independence day. We reminisced the times we shared during the 3-week company immersion. It was tiring yet fun - especially when you had to go to the coop kiosk to eat lunch. You have to haplessly endure a 30 minute walk (to and fro) from the research facility to the canteen. And speaking about road quality, it was GRAVELED GRAVELED GRAVELED, and the latter part of the way was full of squishy fruits. so we had to endure the squirts as well. and by the way we wore sandals (though i think that was only me)which increased the everyday suffering by 50-fold. For the whole 20 days, we surrendered ourselves fully to dishes of corned beef (because the other dishes weren't palatable at all, haha!). Our slogan: Corned beef yesterday,corned beef today, corned beef tomorrow. If there was a disease that specified an overconsumption of corned beef, we really are highly contagious and are suffering from severe complications. We had our powerpoint presentations from our UBER SIMPLE PH TESTING assignment which was witnessed by 2 managers and 2 supervisors. I was so nervous at that time that everytime I play teacher and point at important details (it was LCD), I saw my hand dramatically tremble. It was so embarassing. In the end, we earned the decision of the manager to use the certain surfactant. He played kindergarten teacher and said we had a very good presentation (personally, i think it was really nice, and the manager was nice also, so nice presentation+nice manager = thank you). He even clapped for it. I learned an important lesson from him; "science is not overnight. therefore, if the hypothesis will not work, then to conclude immediately that the experiment is a failure is a no no for every scientist." He was really kind right from the start of our internship down to the last day. He even introduced us to their boss. The internship in Lapanday garnered a special place in my heart. I will never forget:
1. Fushigi Yuugi nights (right after i arrive from the internship till 2 am)
2. Samurai x nights (at how i really wanted to be like Kenshin)
3. curses towards our blasted DDR, which by the way deprived me the luxury to watch those rented cds
4. the anxieties of being left by the carpool so i always make it a point to rise up at 5:45 am
5. the nice people in the lab (ate elna, ate irene, sir alex, sir chris, Mr. fabellar, mr. delos santos (izy's dad), mr. fabregar, sir toto, ate dizie, the statistics-guy, mr. bernard, at mae 1 &2, ate lenlen, ate matet,ate connie, ate joy of the insectary, and ate elsa)
6. the hatred i had for Mam Irene for underestimating my skills. There was a time she sarcastically told me if I was okay pouring the solution. I wanted to punch her face.
7. sleeping times and the fear that I might drool on the table i was sleeping. sometimes, i wake up discovering that i had my entire mouth opened the whole time. my saliva dried and my lips chapped.
8. the surprise visit of Mam Golvin (our i-am-here-now-to-check-if-you-have-been-productive representative). we were so happy because in the chem lab izy and i were really busy. i was doing centrifugation for sample bananas while izy was heating at the superoven i think. i don't know about dareen and ziggy but they were always busy at the plant pathology department.
9. kuya chris, for stupidly treating us like little kids.
the sayonara party of ate mae 1 &2. we ate chocolate cake and macaroni salad.
10. APPLE-BEAR bakery/eatery and its kawaii owners. we had to stop by because we need to go fetch izy's mom from work. and izy has such big eyes and strong conviction not to let this opportunity pass. we ate leche flan and spaghetti. The brother of Izy's crush was so nice, he gave what he was eating to the poor fellow.
11. our dinner escapade to KFC where we helped ourselves to their gravy. after which good news (read: we have stipend) yehey!
12. the peeping sun. izy's dad always prod izy to take a picture because it is a once in a lifetime exposure. the ever rebellious izy countered that she has already seen it 5 times.
13. my trips to Landbank for getting my 4 time high lost ATM card.
14. the cutest guy to ever set foot in Lapanday, the perkins elmer promoting guy who wore a deep olive green collared shirt inserted in black slacks. I think he's chinese. the whole chem lab sat dreamily eyeing him as he fixed his tie.
15.the charm of codenamed "banana-cow", a tagalog-speaking guy who has eyes only for his PC.
16. our visit to the insectary where we viewed bugs eating insects on infested squash
17. how much i'd like to die when we were forced/ made to fold thousands of filter papers
18. corned beef (enough said)
19. the comfort of staying all day in an airconditioned room.
20. the free lunch, free snacks, free carpool, and free shirt
21. the generosity of my comrades
22. the practice of korean alpabet and izy's help in providing me a resource.

everything sure is missing.... but im really glad i kept the memories safe...

Reviews (although more of emotional outburst)

2008-04-01T19:46:00.000-07:00

GYABOOOOOO!!! Last night, I semi-finished watching Nodame Cantabile. I can't bring myself to urgently see the last parts. It will be like welcoming again "the drama goodbye syndrome". I don't feel like saying goodbye to the masochism and sex-appeal (now I'm hentai) of Shinichi Chiaki-sama yet (sniff.drool.sniff.drool). Nodame is a very good drama. My Japanese-drama inclination is not some sort of excuse to further an exaggeration. Cross my heart its really good! Romantics would however, label it as another example of chemical shortage. I always love looking at Chiaki-sama conduct. The seriousness his facial features would convey everytime he raises his baton is just to die for. He's may not be really outrightly as handsome as Takuya Kimura, kedo there is just something in him that makes people tick, including the students of Mamogakuen music academy and... MEEEEEEE (evil laugh). Everytime the orchestra starts to boom the performance hall, his jaw would tighten, his maxillary bones would seem tense and his eyes pierces 3 inches deep into your heart, altogether melts whatever ice is there left in your blood.. Beautiful and passionate. Chiaki-sama! The producers I should say rightfully selected the live action counterpart of the manga! I love the way Chiaka-sama conducts especially when he discerns erroneous tones in the oke. There was a time wherein a slide by slide comparison was made between Jean and shinichi chiaki during the 2nd stage of the conducting competition, I could have swam in my drools. One of the sweetest moments was when chiaka-sama (at long freaking last) hugged nodame in episode 11. It was just so sweet the way the camera tilted, gives you the creeps like you’ve also been hugged. What I don’t like about chiaki-sama is his “pridey” attitude; he never admits that he likes nodame. Its always nodame nodame nodame. Poor nodame (sniff sniff). Also, I partially also share the dislike to noda megumi because she really talks, acts, and looks like a mental retard. NODAME BAKA! What I love about her (which by the way overweighs 50% of my hatred) is that she is a genius pianist. She never realizes this though. For her piano is passion. No techniques, just be happy with the music you want to play. Mine-kun (kawaii ne!), self-confessed bestfriend of chiaki is always that ever passionate oke-member. I will never forget the time when a music student auditions to be the next concert master and mine-kun accepted him wholeheartedly despite the Oke’s concern for Kiyora (who is his love interest). Then he turned to Kiyora and said like “you go to Vienna and study. Do not worry about leaving this oke! Ganbatte as I will also do my best!" – and he hugged her hard. Mine kun!!!!!!!!! A lot of homos were also showed in this drama, but it was fun! Masumi chan wa is the best! “Masumi chan, chiaki-sama is in danger!” Like a renegade avenger he dashes off irrespective of any circumstances while screaming “chiaki-sama!!!!!!!!! The camera will always give the impression that his running speed is equivalent to how light travels from the sun! Minna- I will miss you all! Sakura-chan kawaii! My sister commented on your kawaii-voice. It sounds like a dwarf further squeezed to impending death. LOL! Who can forget the ecchi Strezemann whose Japanese is to die for. I will always be your reluctant student! LOL! Everyone is so lovable, even eto-sensei whose house was really homey. Thanks for the make-up help wife of eto-sensei. Speaking about that incident, I remembered when Nodame was practicing stravinsky’s petroushka, and the wife of eto-sensei found her going crazy drawing her fingers above her head and talking to herself. LOL! She even brought the lunch bowl and left it because she was so afraid of nodame! I just wonder though why the drama is called Nodame Cantabile when its more of Chiaki with Nodame on the supporting role. LOL! I love the way Nodame plays the piano and her philosophies about true enjoyment. I wanted to be also like her. Too bad I did not study piano. This year however, I wanted to learn its basics and by the end of the year I wanted to play Schubert and Stravinsky (wishful thinking). I highly recommend this drama! BRAVO!!!! Can't get enough of it. The manga is continuous, so should be the drama!

PS: When you're old and feel like for the time being its okay to be flaccid, rereading 9-year old personal diary entries or unadmittedly crappy 12-year old-Judie-Abbott fascination episode recalls feels really nostalgic. One good thing about childhood is that when you are really into something, you wouldn't let time immediately determine its half-life (read: you do everything to place it in history). Irrational, dubious mechanisms are always welcome.

Fill in the Blanks

2008-03-28T18:27:00.000-07:00

Others become doctors because their intellegence preempts this path. People say, "since you're intelligent, why don't you become a doctor". The academic ranking becomes the barometer that determines your capacity to do things in the future. Others become lawyers because they're verbose. People would say, "I can see the future of a courtroom in your hands... You always justify things in a rational manner or that you always have that verbal charisma!". Social stigma would dictate, that unless you're a ________ worthy of appreciation, you are never too close to academic redemption. I should be a __________ because its expected for students like me... the endpoint of our excellence and competence. Others however, choose something because everybody's taking them up (cough cough). More often than not, these are driven by psychological, financial fuel or the phoney "my friends' choice fuel". My point is, people engage into things sometimes because society dictates that with that level of thinking, we rightfully belong to their niche. This gives us the avenue to reciprocally exert our dominance, that classfied level over mediocre people. If you are mediocre, your choices would be limited to lowpaid, minimal exposure, i-am-more-likely-a-subordinate circumstances. This thinking completely understates courses who take on routinary measures, brandishing below necessity income-level courses whose efforts are subdued by clerical and physical forces. They don't use their mental affect. People may play righteous and say to think about these things plays disrespect to a lot of occupations who are working the sweat out of the boringness of their activities just because they couldn't propel themselves to afford the socially-recognized for the mere fact that they're wallets are exhausted tendering details nothing short of feeding dependent mouths; however, one cannot deny the mute discrimination people relay to understated occupations. Few are those "I wanted to become a ________ because I have this vision (sorry for the formality but that's more like it) for our country or for the world at large... I know I can significantly contribute to the miseries and provide solutions to the answers this world has been missing because a lot of false people are put to forefronts." Its more of "I want to be a ________ because I want power, dominance, recognition". While self-preservation may not be a crime, to become and think nothing short of an occupation-racist is more of a hundred-fold slap to the superficiality a lot of people have become.

2008-03-28T01:05:00.000-07:00

My summer classes are about to start, leaving me a rough estimation of 10 more days to figure out myself and the things that i have to do. The past semester has not been very promising, and i continue to fear the impending humiliation it might cause me this incoming grade release. Listening to Remioromen's Konayuki has also not been that therapeutic. Its inducing yourself more to psychological suicide. While I would like to bask upon an assessment of what I have become in the
light of all these miseries, I couldn't bring myself to conclude that the fault lies greatly in my pathetic decision to break free from all this seriousness (just this once). Its like when you are working your ass, studying for a quiz, you feel tired and sleepy because
you get so engrossed with the idea of exhaustion even though its only partial of what you're feeling.
The impusle is so strong and in no time leads you to bed. Why can you easily sleep while reading/studying during school period yet during breaks, you don't. I begin to think that school books have
invisible pheromones that act as sedatives or that they themselves are inanimate nymphs who can read our thoughts and release sleep powders because they pity our exertion efforts . I want to lighten up and disarm myself of tasks. Sometimes, when I think about it, I learned that in life, it pays to exagerrate, to value and devalue some things.

If there is a factor in the disharmony in this family, it is partially because of me and the fruits of my irrational, "pridey" thinking. Maybe we just live up to our inherent balance scales. No matter how perfect we are, we are still flawed by the false virtues of our other perspective.

I would like to recommend "1 liter of Tears (Ichi rottoru no namida)" for those who appreciate dramas. Its japanese and its really really good. Even if you go to a lot of forums that debate on the best dramas, people would always give it a thumbs up. I will make a an appreciation entry next post. Highly recommended for those who complain a lot about life. ...Okay okay... the guy is cute. I knew it! Anyways, Heres the link: http://www.mysoju.com/1-litre-of-tears/

2008-03-27T23:11:00.001-07:00

Can someone pleASe define religiosity? Is it possible that you serve God and at the same time practice the reverse to other people. AND you would reason tHat, "this is just me". Being anxious becomes your compromise slash excuse slash permission to do whAtever it is sick. Is it not understood that you're 18 and you're supposed to be brainy and yet here you are blaming me for the misfortunes this thing has caused you. Do I need to spell vowel by vowel, consonant by consonant the most obvious need for the subsequet days we will be reporting. Is it also possible that I will acetate all those 200-page case. think again please... Was it really my fault? or was that thing to be blamed by your nitwitted judgement. Don't come lecturing me about duties because I know more than you do. Not all people revolve around your influence, around the forefront of what you have and what you are. They say you can score a lot about a person's character when you allow them to be challenged by life at the last minute. I happened to see your worst at that time. And by the way, I can read between the lines. i'm not dumb as you might think. i can read between your nods. The thing is, what you did was way too substandard that changing was one of the best desicions i made. the hell about being safe. i don't care.

Developmental ****stones

2008-02-16T19:30:00.000-08:00

Freud's Genital Stage: Opposites Attraction & Maturation?
During this stage me and my friends in high school shriek over cute male species. We exchange stories of near encounters and sigh at the thought of how close was getting to the next level. We exchange looks when our crushes pass by us, recognize our existence for sometime that they need something, and play prince by picking up books we purposely fall. We rejoice over our crushes’ split-ups and deliver evil looks towards new flirty flings. Boisterous ones shut their mouths in response to anxiety when they suddenly knew they will be in the same class or group with their so called “dreamboys”. We get inspired by shallow Korean flicks of predictable plots involving stories between the rich and poor, ugly and not, thin and fat tandems. We thank the dictionary for the word “gentleman”. We make it an excuse towards our own evil plots to make them ours. Others, like me could not look straight at the boy’s eye becoming afraid he might see a blush.

Erikson's Identity vs. Role Confusion
Establishing an identity has not been very smooth for me. Other people do not understand the reasons I have laid before myself and have backed me up over the years. They will proceed to their augmented definition of education, brandishing the label of pseudointellectualism. They love to show to others, “Hey I am intelligent because even if I don’t study I still pass”. Everytime obnoxious people imply these thoughts, I would just vehemently snicker. These people think highly of themselves and too much of this thinking highly can drown them unknowingly. I am also the type of person who really loves books. If I have ample time, I would always go to the library. But then here comes people telling me to rather live in the library and “library na naman ikaw, sige ka na lang library ba”. While I’d like to bask myself under the thought of being learned I cannot help but read between the lines. I am not foolish not to see the implications behind the statement, and unfortunately it has caused me insults more than I can imagine. This is life they say. I just keep on telling myself to do always the things that I always love. . I am unique in such ways that only I can discern what’s right and wrong for me to engage or disengage.

Piaget's Formal Operational: Angst Against my Nursing's mode of learning
It was in the start of high school when I was thought how to really think, and not merely remember. Deductive logic requires the ability to use a general principle to determine a specific outcome. It has been taught that the ultimate measure of education is when you are able to apply these concepts in a completely modified circumstance. If you can trace the pattern, discover the relations between the words and what does it imply, and of course have a background to the fundamental processes involved, then an answer is not far from recognition. Teachers teach you the basics how to cancel squares, permutate possibilities, or sublimate a chemical, but the only way for you to know that education has indeed occurred is not through what, when and where, but how and why. To understand the logic behind everything weighs over mindless remembrance of information insofar as it is more spontaneous and rooting.

Kohlberg's Obedience and Punishment Orientation
I see a lot of peers though young adults per se, but still exhibit an inclination towards obedience and punishment. It is comforting in a way that people’s actions are controlled in accordance to what is acceptable. However, it is equally rigid insofar as we zilch within our system rooms for self-expression. There is a tendency that passivity is enforced over some questionable ideals that may be “perfect, yielding, and labeling” in the forefront, but is actually unjustified and creates a stir of discrimination. It is rigid insofar as we are limited to express our own opinions of subject moralities and that we constrain ourselves to what has been established. The thing is, there is more to obedience and punishment. Some people would want to settle in what has been recognized for fear of tarnishing the qualifications of a high recognition. Inasmuch as this is wise, to justifiably meddle while we can in the hope of improvisation and not merely showing off still is wiser.

Hint! Hint! (Oct 25, 2007)

2008-02-16T19:25:00.000-08:00

Its almost impossible to shut yourself from a very tempting opportunity, to catalog yourself among the elite. To be elite, you have to live elite. To be elite, you have to semi-abandon the past thought of living black and white. You have to draw what is colorful among those who presumed that this is the way we become known for, recognized for, adored for, envied for. So does ones feeling of inferiority and insecurity. This is the reason why I don’t want to be zeroing myself to their presence. Its like I seldom get right. I have already lost the freedom to self-express. I am questioning if my actions deem appropriate to them, if I only utter them to satisfy myself or the other way around. Its hard to face these people really. You have to withhold the semi-shame of not being that learned, or that exposed to Americanization or other culture for that matter. Its hard to pretend that you know, so I don’t. I have to endure what is different and that is to be indifferent myself. I have to shut up and consume this insensitivity and just wallow in my own thoughts of being just who I am. There is no mistake of living without the carcass of enculturation. Even if I don’t go to those “hip churva”, its still no excuse. I have a different way of doing things, and living my life. We don’t need the externals, the accessories of “metrosexuality”. Prioritizing those essential needs is enough.