i will never destroy it

2021-01-22T07:10:00.001-08:00

Thank you

2018-03-04T17:57:00.001-08:00

Thank you my dear friend , my dear soul ,my husband..

you stood by me in really bad weathers and you have given me the most beautiful moments of my life. Thank you for being with me. you have seen the devil in me and you have helped me to keep alive my pure soul, you have made me a better person each passing year. You are the best thing happen to my life. I will love till my last breathe and I know you truly will be with me till my last breathe.

Our lives has been a roller coaster ride. We have seen the worst times together and most unthinkable tragedy has be.fallen on us. But I know this is the end of the dark tunnel and I know most beautiful light is waiting for us.

New Leaf

2017-12-22T08:53:00.001-08:00

Sunlight seems more brighter day after heavy snow..

Air seems more clearer after heavy rain..

Have you ever felt in love with the young green leaves peeping out of Deciduous Forest. There is lot to learn from seasons. Good or Bad situation never remains the same, people never remain the same.. Its not a good or a bad thing it is nature.

All great people say the best way to be happy and feel the happiness is to focus all energy to improve yourself. Always there is a scope to improve ourselves and our skills..

Be happy and be in peace with our soul.

Story of my stolen bike..

2017-11-15T07:30:00.001-08:00

Day1

As the weather is getting worst , I decided to put back the bikes from stand to my balcony...

This summer I didn't use the bikes once or may be once. To my horror when I reach the bike stand my bikes were missing .. ..where the hell bikes go..

I live in a very upscale neighborhood, don' think someone will just steal bikes!!.

May be the maintenance guys took them as they have been standing there too long ..

So went to the leasing guys, to check with them.

WHAT!!..never heard of anything like this before. please give us a day and report the incident to the police tomorrow morning, if you don't heard anything from us.

The day passed and we didn't heard a thing from them. So I decided to go to the police.

ho chand ki utar li hai dono baliya, aaja aaja hath mar de taliya

2017-08-17T11:12:00.001-07:00

Happy birthday to Gulzarji.

Bidhir bidhan katbe tumi amon shaktiman

2017-06-06T07:52:00.006-07:00

http://gaana.com/song/bidhir-bandhan-katbe-tumi-5

Bidhir bidhan katbe tumi amon shaktiman
Tumi ki amni shaktiman
Amader bhanga gara tomar hate emon abhiman
Tomader emni abhiman
Chirodin tanbe piche chirodin rakhbe niche
Atoi bal nai re tomar sabe na sei tan
Shasone jatoi ghera ache bal durbalero
Hou na jatoi baro achen bhagoban
Amader shakti mere torao bachibinere
Bojha tor bhari holeo dubbe torikhan -- Tagore

Namami Brahmaputra

2017-03-21T18:37:00.001-07:00

Love your Rivers .. love this song !!

Don't worry be Happy

2016-12-05T16:36:00.001-08:00

In every life ,we have some trouble ..
when you worry , we make it double ...don't worry be happy
don't worry .....be happy
don't worry .... be happy
don't worry ....be happy now...

The man & The Wild plant

2016-11-16T20:34:00.000-08:00

Let me tell you a very strange story of a man and a wild plant.

There lived a guy surrounded by a lot of people but still very lonely. He had a big house with all the comfort , but something was missing, he had the feeling that its a big house but not a home.

One day he saw an unusual plant in the woods. He immediately fell in love with the wild plant. The little plant nervously smiled back. The man took the plant to his house, planted it in a beautiful pot , watered it , took best care possible. The wild plant was very happy as it was the moment she has been waiting all her life.

The man's effort finally paid off with beautiful exotic wildflowers blooming from the plant. They both were happy & complete, it made the big house a home.

But the happiness didn't lasted too long. As more and more flowers bloomed, a deadly Japanese beetle got his eyes on to the plant. The Japanese beetles are actually quite attractive. It will be hard to recognized it as a deadly predator.

The ignorant plant thought its a friend; the man keep warning it is the worst enemy and it will ultimately kill the plant.

The man keep trying to protect the plant but with no support from the plant, slowly, the evil beetle was successful to get into the plant.

The beetle ate the portion of leaf between the veins.

The man made desperate attempts to save the plant.

The beetle jeopardized not only leaves of the plant but the flowers too became meal for it.

The man got into a depression and his well wishers got worried for him. They suggested plucked out the sick plant and throw it . Its high time to get new healthy plant and move on.

The plant had too late a realization of a friend and foe.

The beetle had ate up all her flowers and leaves but still her roots were secured tight under the soil in the pot.

She shamelessly and desperately asked for another life, crying, begging, pleading him not to pluck her from the pot and save her.

Emotionally strained the man had enough , one fine day not only he unrooted the wild plant and throws it out of fence but also planted a new beautiful rose plant in the pot, making it absolutely clear that there is no place for the wild plant in big house anymore.

***************

The rose plant is still healthy with beautiful red roses, the man still taking great care. The wild plant managed her root in field outside the fence.

Coping with Unexpected things!!!

2016-11-09T03:01:00.002-08:00

Wow.. what a morning Mr Trumps wins US election.WOW ..WOW....WOW..

Seriously this year has taught me unexpected things happen. And you actually can't do anything about it.

The best way to cope such situation is pretend being stupid, say wow!!! and laugh out loud !!!

So a big big WOW!!

Sunbath Kanchenjunga

2016-11-08T02:29:00.000-08:00

Hi Dear Blog,

Good Morning , after a long tym and I really missed you a little.
Some times , its good to leave everything and rejuvenate yourself.
Thats exactly what I was doing all this time. I travelled back to memories lane , I dived into mysterious future and discovered the idea of Existentialism. Giving meaning to life.... or giving no meaning to life. In a much simpler word "authentic living".

Lets discuss this philosophy some other day.

In this trip to India , I had this amazing privilege to see first rays of sun falling on mighty Kanchenjunga. I swear it is one of the best sight I have seen in recent years. Its truly divine, I close my eyes and can still feel the air. I have decided , no matter what I will keep coming to himalayas just to see the first rays of sun. All my pain , all my sorrows , all my guilts , all my tears gone. I can really understand now why people use to go Himalayas to find peace :)

Pardon me for my picture.

Save Himalayas, Save our planet.

Nazar mein rehtey ho jab tum nazar nahin aatey

2016-09-01T14:50:00.000-07:00

I think my mind and soul finally got that skill to listen a song and feel in love with it and realized its from my favorite favorite Gulzar.

Some how , I bumped to this song today and listening it for 100th time now... and just wanted to check the lyrics and amazingly it is Gulzar. Its divine , something can't be express in words ,,,

Dikhayi dete hain duur tak ab bhi saaye koi

Magar bulaane se waqt lautey na aaye koi

Chalo na phir se bichhayein dariyaan bajayein dholak

Lagake mehendi sureeley tappe sunayein koi

Patang udayein chhatton pe chadh ke muhalley waaley

Falak to saanjha hai us mein penche ladayein koi

Utho kabaddi kabbadi khelenge sahardon par

Jo aye abke to laut kar phir na jaye koi

Nazar mein rehtey ho jab tum nazar nahin aatey

Yeh sur milaatey hain jab tum idhar nahin aatey

Nazar mein rehtey ho jab tum nazar nahin aatey

Yeh sur bulaatey hain jab tum idhar nahin aatey

My story in 3 movies

2016-08-26T19:13:00.000-07:00

Hi there,

After a long time, I feel motivated to type-in my feelings in this blog page of mine. And I promise its not a two liner or a few lines from some song which tells my feeling

Writing your emotion in plain words is not the easiest thing to do, there is a certain anxiety , a fear in opening up and revealing your secrets to the world. But it is always good to open up and speak to someone and if you don't feel comfortable to speak to anyone in this world , write your crazy thoughts.

Okay , going back to the motivation behind writing this blog is the movie Brooklyn(2016), which I just finished. past couple of weeks, I have seen quite lot of movies both Hollywood and Bollywood. But I feel very difficult to connect with the portrayal of woman in hindi movies , its not that I don't like them but never makes an impact on me at least.

I don't like the stereotyping of woman. The few movies which I could really relate to was Brooklyn, MonaLisa Smile & Eat Pray Love

Well again I am digressing from the topic. Lets start with the Brooklyn track of my life , in this movie , the protagonist leaves her country Ireland, with minimal resource and lands to Brooklyn,NewYork, where she works hard to make livelihood. It is so difficult to leave our family behind and land up in a new place, all alone without your support system around you. Everyone has to deal with the fear, the feeling that you don't belong to this place and then there is a sudden demise of a very dear and close person back home. You are shattered. Don't jump to a conclusion , the movie does not ends in a depressing note the Protagonist meets a nice boy who is Italian and they fall in love and married and starts their life in Brooklyn.

Falling in love is a great feeling, sometimes people fall in love more than once in their life. So here starts the Mona Lisa Smile track of my life. I had beautiful , ugly , crazy relationships in past and I have a beautiful and great husband now.
Was I faithful?
This question pops up to my mind sometimes and I tired searching the answer and every time I feel that I was faithful because at that time I was thinking it is the most right thing to do. I never ever intended to hurt anyone's feeling or cheat on someone but may be I was immature , I thought it is the correct thing to do, may be I wasn't grounded or may be there was something going on my mine. May be I wasn't confident about myself, the way I look, may be its the new independence I got while coming out of small town. But certainly I was faithful to my heart at least.

I also found there is a rebel inside me thats wants to break the norms and do adventure and there is a fearsome side of mine , which stops me and always seek a support in someone.

Now the third track of my life Eat Pray love
Things may be not exactly the way you want. Some times you messed up the thing , some times its god who messes the thing for you but every time you feel down dejected shattered , collect all your pieces and keep moving ..keep moving forward ..life has more surprises , there are many successes and failures yet to come both personally and professionally. Just EAT good food, Learn new things in life thats my prayer and Love life and people who stood by you in good & bad times.

Any ways who loves a boring regular story.

Life is magic , believe in yourself, world is made up by Magician like you & me :)

My countdown Begins now

2016-08-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day of working with IBM. I don't know what future holds for me. There is a little anxiety in me but I do have plans. God give me courage and perseverance to be focused .

Happy Birthday To me

2016-07-01T05:30:00.001-07:00

1st July.. its my birthday..I simply love this date and I love you Mom and Dad for bring me on this earth. I promise, I will make you proud of me..

I never Destroy the me in me

2016-06-24T07:57:00.001-07:00

I am not here to just come and go.
I will leave imprint my footsteps in the canvas of time.

I will never destroy the me in me.
Every failure will make me to work harder and more passionately.
I will dare to think which is a dream. Every cell of my body will take me to where I want to be...
I will leave imprint my footsteps in the canvas if time.

But ..the love of success is more powerful than fear of failure :)

Unconditional confident about your dream

2016-06-08T12:04:00.001-07:00

An Ideal Day

2016-02-06T17:31:00.000-08:00

An Ideal day in my life

To get up really early as early as 5:00 in morning

To open the curtains of room

To welcome the first sun rays

To listen to the bird cheeps

To feel the dew drop.

To pull on my walking shoes and my old tee

To head for a walk in woods or to a lake nearby.

To prepare a cup of black tea (lal sa) with two Britannia two biscuits

To spend time with my plants, soiling and watering them my plants and to talk to them,

To appreciate every new flower that blooms and welcome every new leaf.

To have a nice breakfast, may be luchi and aloo matter gravy (best is cooked by Maa).

To Oil my hair, to a home pedicure and manicure

To have hot water bath and some music.

To Cook my lunch and enjoy the rice and chicken curry with lots of aloo J

To watch an old movie in the TV or to paint whole afternoon

To sleep for half an hour ….

To get up from siesta and to have my chai

To sit in the balcony and to read an old book or new magazine

And as the sun goes down the sea,

To get out of room and head for a walk to local market with lots of local vegetables –cabbage, tomatoes , eggplants

To have Gaarma-Garam samosa and chicken chop from the corner shop

To come back home and to take quick show

To lit a small diya or candle and pray my lord with whole heart

To head toward my study table and to learn new things every single for few hours

To have my dinner with my loved ones

To watch a happy family show in TV together

And finally to fall in deep sleep in a cozy bed....

Is it so difficult to get a perfect day in life!!

falling in love once again

2016-02-03T08:13:00.001-08:00

This time finally with me myself . loving oneself is absolute necessary but it also important to maintain the fine line between loving and getting self obsessed.

Rediscovery myself again again and again ..and life goes on.

shafed phool

2016-01-22T12:47:00.002-08:00

ek shafed phool........................

Connect with Your dreams

2015-10-25T09:59:00.001-07:00

Sometimes small things makes a big difference in life..

My inability to drive car was hurting me. This I was trying since many years.

I Didn't wanted to try my hands on someone's car in the family, so finally I got my own car in 2012 and within few days I crashed it in the parking and end up paying huge money in insurance.

This is Funny but it demotivated me to core.

The feeling that I will never able to drive a car was killing me, there was sense of unknown failure and fear.

huuh!!!Can't drive a car, what about those big dreams which I promised myself ?

Fortunately and unfortunately, this year, I landed to a place where without a car, to be more precise without your driving skills you are a mere furniture. This place is not like Bangalore where you have Rickshaw or public buses. The Private taxi for every day use would turn me to pauper here.

I must say Uber saved my life. And few kind colleagues helped me to get to office, buy grocery and survive the cold winter.

Here I must tell you, though my husband is Good driver but he was hundreds of miles away in a different city, though he religiously travel every weekends. I was just managing the life here.

Every day I wanted to go back to India, there is so much to do here but without your driving skills nothing.

I gave the written test in RMV, I passed with flying colours but of no use, without being behind the driving seat

My Husband took this mountain task of making me drive.

Summer weekends, when everyone busy going to the beach and having fun, we ended up in IBM parking, practicing car. I always wanted that he get a job here, so that I don't have to drive and he would drop and pick me from office. Actually I had given up. We had frequent fights.

Oh ya! I need to mention this my manager never used to ask me about my work but about my driving. Everyone in office would ask me about it.

Once a guy came and said to me “hey it’s easy, just take your car and hit the freeway (as if!!), I did this when I was in high school a teenager. It was like someone rubbing salt to your injuries.

I must say it was embarrassing, hurtful, painful, depressing. I don't have enough words to jot down my feelings. Motivational videos, self-help books nothing helped. It was like if you can't drive, you can't learn anything new.

It was all DARK, CLOUDY .......SAD

Then a miracle happen.

One day I was playing msg-msg with one of my childhood friend in watsapp and thinking about our school days.

Suddenly this incident flashed to my mind.

I had got double zero in a math test, when I was in 2^nd grade, everyone made fun of me, and they teased me as big zero, a failure. But hey! I told to myself “Hold on didn’t I completed my Engineering in fact I topped in my department, went to India’s best college for my masters in engineering without any coaching. Today I am working as a software professional without any computer background. WOW”. There was a sense of pride but at the same time I was thinking what made me to do that and what’s stopping me now?

There is a missing link, if I get this link, I will be the best driver ever.

The answer was in the movie AVATAR. You guys remember the scene when Neytiri ask Jake to choose his Ikran. It was Jake, who had to connect with his Ikran, to ride on it and win the battle. So the link was CONNECT.

Connect to your dream, to your ambition, to your work. This philosophy is terrific and can change life forever. It is connection with the things, which I thought I will never able to do in my life made me to do them.

It was the connection missing between me and my Car that's stopping me from driving not my fear, not my failure or anything in the universe.

It has been 2 months now, I am driving my car to the office, to Grocery , to railway station, to everywhere and anywhere.

Believe me driving my car makes me feel as amazing as Jake riding his Ikran.

Keep flying

DAAAKU DAY!!!

2015-09-22T05:25:00.002-07:00

I am very very Happy Today, because Daaku ..my youngest nephew turned 1 on
19th Sep 2014..

You are Angel of my life... my dear , my sweetheart...

you look like baba.
your smiles make me forget everything which is not so good in life..
your presence make me feel..baba is again with us..

GOD Bless you my sweetheart..
you and Aayang are the best things happen to our lives..

dil dhoondhataa ha-- Gulzar..

2015-06-23T19:29:00.002-07:00

dil dhoondhataa hai, phir wahee furasat ke raat din
baithhe rahe tasawwoor-ye-jaanaa kiye huye

jaadon kee narma dhoop aur aangan mein let kar
aankhon pe khinch kar tere aachal ke saaye ko
aundhe pade rahe kabhee karawat liye huye

yaa gamreeyon kee raat jo poorawaaeeyaan chale
thhandee safed chaadaro pe jaage der tak
taaron ko dekhate rahe chhat par pade huye

barfeeli sardiyon me kisi bhi pahaad par
waadi me gunjati huyi khamoshiyan sune
aankho me bheeege bheege se lamhe liye huye

Life in Acton, the new Moon

2015-04-21T17:13:00.000-07:00

Its one month now, I am in different country with different people.
I didn't post anything for more than a month now..No I was not busy , I am having a plenty of time here.
Why I didn't post anything was because I didn't get any response from my so -called most religious followers..well What it is, it is.
My post are a like my auto biography which I want people , my grand children to read long after I am gone.

Its 8.20 pm now, but still enough light..seems like 5 pm. Today I decided to take a walk in the woods near to my studio. New flora-fauna , new topology , new people but when I see the sky, something very very familiar, the Moon . The Moon looked exactly the same, same as when I use to watched it from Nirjuli, same as when I use to watched it from Kharagpur, same as when I used to watched it from Mumbai , same as when I use to watched it from Bangalore.

Don't you agree "Something in life can never change." Like my habit of watching the moon and traveling in time.

Well let me share a Tantra "whenever you see the new moon, take out a note or a coin , show it to the moon and make a wish. your wish will come true" . If you don't believe me ..try it for yourself .

Posting a picture of mine ..
2015 March , Acton , MA

MY life in Littleton MA

2015-03-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

Hi..
Finally I am Littleton, Massachuttes . Its a small village few miles away from Boston.

Its 8:43 am in the morning and I am in office.
People start working from as early as 7 am in the morning , today morning when I reached the office reception was not there . Good that I got my badge from the department concern. People are warm here in office as well as hotel. Everyone came to my desk and wished me ..I kinda enjoyed it. One more thing I am the youngest here in my team ..

Everyone is so very excited about me joining the team , sometimes I feel scary .
But best thing working here is know people and different cultures. My manager is Russian, one of team member is Mexican lady, she is absolute sweetheart, one gentleman (in his 60) is Irish very lovable person, then one Indian from west Bengal grown by Delhi. Its Multicultural here.

This is the thing I love most about working here in Littleton. And I will use to opportunity to learn Spanish.

Who knows one day I will be sing spanish lullaby..

So many things to tell...