I Wish Daddy...

..would treat me as as adult

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 13:27:00 +0000

A parent's inability to see their child as an adult can impair the relationship dynamic, and at times be detrimental to the progression of their relationship.

Albeit difficult, it is important for fathers to realize that their daughters do grow up and become adults. A grown woman with a home and family of her own, does not need to be dictated to and chastised like she is a child.

...wasn't so uptight.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 06:05:00 +0000

I wish my dad would learn to loosen up a bit. Not take life so seriously. I understand that there are serious situations, but when you do not take the time to laugh, you become miserable.

I can count on my one hand the number of times I've laughed with my dad. To share a good laugh with my father is only something I can dream of.

...could act more like a daddy.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 15:28:00 +0000

My father's idea of being a 'dad' was going to work, putting a roof over our heads and bringing money home so we could have food to eat. Although these things are extremely important, being a 'dad' encompasses so much more. Like laughing with your children, asking them how things are going, finding out what they are into, what their interests are. My father had and has no interest in any of those things when it comes to me.

Unfortunately, when it comes to my father, there is nothing I can do to change him, but I can definitely encourage my husband to not make the same mistakes with our children.

...could let go the past.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 03:00:00 +0000

My dad insists on dwelling on the past. I refuse to do so and therefore we are at an impasse. This attitude has not only affected my relationship with him, it has also affected his relationship with my children, his grandchildren.

When parents are not willing to let go of the past, they are doing real damage to not only themselves but to their loved ones. Life is too short to be bitter and angry. Just enjoy the time you have with your children today, because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

...didn't sweat the small stuff.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 03:15:00 +0000

My father always made a big deal out of everything. He didn't know how to take anything lightly or have an 'oh well' attitude towards things.

Learning to not sweat the small stuff is what makes life fun and funny. Parents need to be relaxed at times when interacting with their children.

...took the time to know me.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 20:44:00 +0000

I wish my dad took the time to know me. My interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes. He would see that I am so much more than what he assumes I am. Unfortunately, he chooses to just go on what he thinks he knows. That's really too bad.

By not taking the time to know their children, fathers lose out on the opportunities for a wonderful friendship with their children.

...respected my children.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 03:43:00 +0000

My father doesn't realize how short life is. Unfortunately he thinks when interacting with my children, he can speak to them and treat them the same way he did with me.

Grandparents have to realize how important their role is and take it seriously. Children remember things and grandparents should make sure they leave lasting, happy memories.

...respected my husband.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 05:07:00 +0000

It's hard enough for a father to see his daughter as a married woman let alone some man's wife. However, fathers have to understand that their daughters will grow up and may marry.

Fathers need to be supportive of their daughter's husband and marriage. A father who does not respect his daughter's husband will lose her respect.

...treated me fairly.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 04:26:00 +0000

Many times I have noticed my father hasn't treated me the same as my siblings. He yelled at me more, expected more from me and pretty much thinks of me as some kind of failure or disappointment. This could be my imagination, but the older I get, the more I realize that this is actually reality.

Parents should not have favourites when it comes to their children. Having favourites only creates jealousy which leads to animosity amongst siblings.

...and I could see eye to eye.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 16:07:00 +0000

It's difficult to see thing from the same viewpoint as another, especially your father. Many times I have tried to see things from my father's point of view, but he has always been too stubborn to return the favour. As a result, we are usually clashing on many matters.

Seeing eye to eye does not mean giving in, it means trying to see things from the other's point of view. A parent that does not practice that, will find themselves usually at odds with their child.

...respect me.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 22:03:00 +0000

As a grown woman, with a husband and children and a home of her own, I realize I still have not earned my father's respect. I realize that this is something that I might never get, and I would just have to accept that and move on.

When parents respect their children, they open up doors to a new type of relationship. A relationship based on maturity and reciprocity.

...would give me a chance.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 14:13:00 +0000

Many times I would try to argue a point or explain my position, and because my father had already made up his mind, there was no point trying to convince him otherwise.

It's incredibly frustrating when a child is trying to speak and a parent won't listen or assumes they already know. A child will not open up to a parent as a result.

Parents need to take the time to not only hear their children but to listen to them.

...didn't have to work so hard.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 04:21:00 +0000

I appreciate all my dad's hardwork and his committment to his family, but I wish he didn't have to work so hard.

Time, once lost, you never get it back.

...told me the wishes he had for me.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 16:52:00 +0000

Although it's difficult to discuss feelings, I wish my dad had told me some of the wishes he had for me.

Fathers risk disappointment when they wait until their children are grown to let them know their expectations.

...wasn't so quick to judge.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 14:19:00 +0000

So many times, my father has acted on what he saw or heard instead taking the time to find out, to get to know.

He might have been surprised and found something he liked, admired or respected.

...laughed with me more.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 05:06:00 +0000

Although it did not happen often, I enjoyed a good laugh with my father.

Laughing tells a child, everything will be alright.

...supported me with his words.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 17:20:00 +0000

'You can do it', 'we'll get through this', 'I believe in you', 'don't give up'.

The right words make all the difference in the world.

...realized he was the first man in my life.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 16:01:00 +0000

Being the first man in my life, the relationship I have with my father sets the precedence for all intimate relationships I have with men.

An absentee father of a young girl will cause her in later years to try and fill that void, in her relationships with men, even if that man is abusive.

A happy and loved young girl, will look for those same qualities in a man when she is looking for a husband.

...took the time to know my friends.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 02:40:00 +0000

Rather than being overprotective and making assumptions about my friends and ultimately who I was, I wish my father took the time to know my friends.

In knowing who your children's friends are, you will know your children better.

...had told me more about his childhood.

noreply@blogger.com (Myra) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 05:06:00 +0000

Sometimes I feel like I don't know him at all.

It's important to communicate with your children. When they have their own children, they can pass on stories. This is how we connect with the older generation.