I Write What You Won't Say

Hello, there!

2015-06-01T16:08:00.000-04:00

I haven't been here for a while, I know. Yet, the time I took off from writing has enlightened me to share more with you today from a brighter place. I have found inner peace through meditation and reconnected with my Higher Power. I fought off the cysts that had taken over my body because of all the bitterness and anger I held so tight in my soul. Love swept me off my feet, lifting me up higher than ever before, allowing me to see the beauty in everything.

As some of you may know I have been a fitness instructor for a couple of years. Now I also added to my "to do" list Wellness Coach. That's right. I am in such a happy place that I want to share the wealth with everyone. I am helping and teaching people how to take care of their bodies and minds. There's nothing else I could think of at the moment that fulfills me like being able to reach out and become a part of people's fabulous journeys into happier and healthier lives.

With all this said I am not apologizing or excusing myself. I am letting you know that NOW you will be able to tap into the better version of me and you should take advantage of this source of happiness and knowledge I'm offering. Join me in this new journey and let's experience the power of living today a more prosperous life.

*Note: You may contact me through email at
elsazumba@yahoo.com

Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ElsaFerreiraFitness
Instagram: MIZZFITFORLIFE

Stay ❤️

2014-05-01T17:14:00.001-04:00

Stay, I tell you, thus you may stare happiness straight in the face without running away from what you so-call faith. Fear is a liar telling you, you have no desire to feel the butterflies and the passionate fire.

What's the reason that you tremble? Do you want to consult a mendel before your life you get to reassemble?

Stay! Feel genuine love. It fits you well, like a custom made glove.

Do not turn your back on this great emotion, lest you lack missing out on another option.

Stay and do it just for you and once you experience it you will never feel blue.

Welcome into your being, abundant and complete bliss and you will end up seeing that love was meant to be as simple as this.

Closer

2014-04-05T00:15:00.001-04:00

It's raining on this side of the world tonight and I can't help but to listen to your heart beat with every drop that touches my window. The water running down the rooftop tells me it is no coincidence that the distance has crossed our paths to discover a future willing to meet us at any moment. I ask myself when will the right time come? Will our souls embrace each other the same way they do now, when we are face to face? Does it feel good because it's only an adventure or is there a hidden treasure we are suppose to find? Are you the Yin to my Yang? The Southern wind won't answer me since it only wants to wrap me and take me to your sanctuary. Even though I want to decipher the mystery to what seems to be a love riddle, I await for you effortlessly because you have taught me patience and courage through the waves of your being. I don't need to know you to realize this warm feeling you cause in my womb is genuine. The rain will continue and I'll be here listening because every time I do, it brings me closer to you.

La Despedida (a mi cuaderno)

2014-01-17T21:22:00.003-05:00

Por un largo tiempo contemple estas escrituras que describen

parte de mi vida...

aventuras, decepciones, amores y lecciones.

Sabiendo que tenia que cerrar una etapa

mis manos imperfectas temblaban,

rechazando una separacion entre mi lapicera

y mis queridas hojas tan gastadas.

Entonces acontecieron situaciones muy inesperadas

pero no sorprendentes,

que me llevan a empezar otro capitulo

con nuevas experiencias.

Esta noche me despido sin el tinto a mi lado,

liberandome de lo que me tenia atrapada.

El pasado.

Con una mente mas clara, mas madura, mas fuerte que nunca

le digo "adios" a lo que fue.

Y con un poco de ansiendad pero en fin, con los brazos abiertos,

le doy la bienvenida a un nuevo amanecer;

a un futuro guiado y asegurado por mi

Creador.

Submission (Part 2)

2013-05-15T13:56:00.001-04:00

   Here I was, standing naked in my bathroom staring at the cold water as it hit the bathtub with full force. One-hundred thoughts crossed my mind. "Why am I going to make myself suffer this way? What is the point to this insanity? Can I use a life line and call my mother for this one? Just take a hot one, no one will ever know."
I set my timer to five minutes and I jumped in. WOW! It was cold... not so bad. I wet my arms and my legs. Then I turned around and let the water run down my back. I thought, "This should be easy Elsa, you do cycle showers almost everyday." But as that thought left my mind, so did every bit of common sense that I had in it and I began to feel pain all over my body as I screamed and yelled from the top of my lungs. My heart was racing while I stepped in face first into the freezing water, I gasped trying to catch my breath. It wasn't words coming out, it was groans, whimpers. From a hundred thoughts to a thousand, I felt super high all of a sudden and almost believed that I was watching myself go through this. "Am I having flash backs from back in the days when I used to party? Is that stuff still in my system? Why? Why? Why? Is it alright if I cry? Oh no, my tears are frozen and they don't want to come out!!! Help me, please, someone. What am I saying? I think my bones are shattering. I am never doing this again. I kind of like this. I am nuts enjoying pain this way. Shut up. Get yourself together and take it. NOOOOOOO!"
   I soaped up and rinsed with only two minutes that had gone by and I knew I could stand it no longer. I wanted to turn the water to hot, but my body did not respond to my brain's wishes. Each second I groaned louder and louder and for some reason a bible verse crossed my mind.
Romans 8:26 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans."
And this was true. At that very moment I felt vulnerable and weak, but my groans were as those of a powerful beast that lived within me. A beast that was fighting not the cold water, but my flesh. It was fighting my flesh so it would submit to this process of endurance. This is when I thought I had lost my mind completely because I started to laugh like a crazy woman, jumping under the coldest stream of water that had ever touched my skin. ALARM, ALARM, ALARM. Yes, my timer finally went off and so did the water.
   Now, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub wrapped in a big beach towel I tried to gather my thoughts and analyze what had just happened. "Why did I feel so energized and different?"

Submission (Part 1)

2013-05-14T11:04:00.002-04:00

   A little over two weeks ago I received a message from my younger brother ( Trainer and best friend) saying that he found a few articles on something called Cold Shower Therapy. Most of the time when he sends me something different I know it is one of his new challenges and think at that moment that he has gone mad, but of course, since I am curious I read on. After reading this madness that I will soon elaborate on, I laugh and say "Yeah right!". I mean, I love hot showers. Showers so hot that I need extra lotion to make my dry skin come back to life. As I'm laughing at the idea of even trying this ridiculous "therapy" he sends me another message saying that he is starting the challenge the next day. And then it hit me. The feeling of my adrenaline pumping to compete and do it so I can show him that I am as crazy as he is. So I searched through more articles and read how the process goes. It is a thirty day challenge. For thirty days you may only shower with cold water for at least five minutes. This means if you shower more than once a day, yes, you will shower again with cold water. Now the question is how cold does the water have to be? The coldest your faucet will allow you to set it. You go in the shower with cold water and you will end your shower with cold water.
   I wanted to find some support in NOT doing this absurd challenge, so I told my father and my ten year old son about it. As soon as I said it my son told me he was in. WHAT????
The next morning I woke up to someone grumbling loudly in the bathroom and the water was running. Oh yeah, it was my ten year old son taking his first cold shower. I couldn't believe it. Now I had to do it not only because my son did it but also because I did not want to let him down.
   I got up, got dressed and went to the gym. During my kick class I tried imagining how I would do this cold shower thing. Later I picked up my son and I did my weekly conditioning while he kicked the ball around with my brother.
And so then time arrived that I had to shower. I circled around the house looking for things to do, as to delay what I was about to endure, but I was being watched by my son and knew there was no way out.

Stupid Cupid

2013-02-15T21:26:00.000-05:00

Stupid Cupid,

Did you think you would hit me with your pathetic dinky arrow,

Making my mind completely narrow,

To a love that does not exist?

Please! If I see you coming I will hit you with my fist,

Giving my story a brand new twist,

Because I do not want to be kissed

Into lust.

Stupid Cupid, you are flat out unjust,

Causing all your victims to blindly combust

Into pleasure without any measure

And you leave them looking for a forged treasure

That can never be found.

Do not try to push me around

As you watch them all drown.

I am tired of your foolish little game,

Since it has become so lame.

Cupid is not even your real name.

You liar, leave me alone!

Don't you see that I have grown

As someone better than your temporary moan?

I have grown from the groan

Of the hopeless ecstasy you tender.

HAHAHA, Stupid Cupid, I will never surrender,

Because you are such a pretender, calling yourself

"The Relationship Mender".

But I know better now

Considering I know the where, when and how

And let me just say: In my life you are

NOT ALLOWED.

*****

2013-02-04T14:16:00.001-05:00

In between does not feel good.

Suffocated by my own sin I struggle to get ahead,

Still holding on to the past and I stumble.

Why?

Because I chose Christ as my Savior,

But I am not on His team,

Knowing that He is the way.

I let the world absorb me in its temptations

And iniquities.

Why if I know the Truth I walk away

From His merciful hand?

Because I am afraid of the tribulations ahead,

And that shows, if any,

The little Faith I possess.

The enemy enjoys theses moments,

When I question my eternity,

And I open the door to his deceiving ways.

Like a madwoman, I argue with myself,

For the forces are strong on both sides,

And I want the easy route to success.

"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want",

Is my prayer to YHWH who has the power,

Over ALL.

Writing In Process (see it happen) Finished

2013-01-17T23:59:00.003-05:00

I have the magic, through my pen, to make two incomparable words graze, as your hand over desirable flesh. Soon they embrace into a dance of love, inducing secret emotions within your broken pneuma. Hmmm...yes! Feel it within, piercing into the unknown of your being, making you hot and bothered because I just wrote down your most private thoughts.
"How does she know?", you wonder, biting your lip, reading furthermore and more and MORE...
"Stop!" you cry out in the emptiness of your room, startling yourself. Seeing you can not handle this new perception that causes your mouth to salivate at your naughty brain work, you look away. Yet this is only for a moment, since now you are addicted to the powerful verses I continue to scribble and you carry forward. Still, you were looking for something with more flavor, something like a rhyme, so I take you there and help you hear the chime, while you follow me, all in do time. Allow your chyme to slide and climb into this illusion I offer as if it was a gold filled coffer in your back room. Let loose and accept this proffer that will take you to the moon. Do not be afraid, for I do not write this as an obscure rune. All I want is for you to feel the glorious rhythm in the enchanting tune. I know is not yet noon, but stay with me here. Understand there is nothing clear in this life my dear. And now that we are much near to the end I hope you comprehend I only do this in aspiration for your crippled heart to mend and for your captive mind to extend to a new level of awareness. Nothing more, nothing less.

I See

2012-11-16T11:33:00.000-05:00

I wrote this in 2004. I had a great job, everything I wanted, but I felt empty deep inside. Then after a year of not remembering my dreams, I felt enlightened as if the blindfold had been removed from my eyes and this is how I felt.

As I swim in the fantasy ocean that I have created for my own pleasures,

I soak up a few realities that people dump in

when hopelessness has conquered their lives.

Deceived by my own heart

I don't know if to call this power a blessing or a curse,

since foreseeing the future has been my destiny.

Sometimes, I believe myself to be immortal

with many aches and pains that the dry waves from my ocean have caused,

wounding but not killing me.

Closing my eyes is how I try not to see what is coming next,

but this supernatural force is bigger than what I can handle

and the scenes play vividly in my head,

confirming that hallucinations will soon become tangible,

so there is nothing I could do,

except sit back and enjoy the show.

Not only dreams haunt me throughout the nights

saturating my pores,

yet visions follow and taunt me in the days

stirring great anxiety in my soul.

With eyes wide open I look up into the man made blurry water

hoping to be a good fisherman's catch,

therefore relieving me from this torment

that others see as a light of Faith.

Grind

2012-11-05T11:56:00.001-05:00

Please like us on youtube

Blah

2012-09-28T10:08:00.000-04:00

Thoughts blah blah huh blah
Feelings blah eh blah blah
Broken Heart ouch blah blah
Good Sex ha ha, blaaaaaah
Troubles blah ah blah blah
Happiness ? blah blah blah
Words Unspoken blah blah blah
Patience BBLLAAAH
Love blah blah what? blah blah blah
Hurt yup yup blah blah
Satisfaction mmm...blah blah
Success bling blah
Craziness cuckoo blah
Lament blah weep blah
Gossip blah blah hehe blah blah blah blah
Cause & Effect blah oops blah
God blah hmmm blah blah
Others blaahhh
Manipulation blah tisk tisk blah
Content blah weeeee blah
Poor Faith blah oooooh blah
No Escape blah pfft blah
Life blah AHA!

All Woman: Part I

2012-08-25T03:04:00.000-04:00

As I sit out on my steps with a screwdriver and a cheap cigar...Oh my...

I reminisce on all of this and step by step all the memories come alive

with each sip, a smirk comes upon my face because it wasn't bad at all.

I was sensing and getting the feel of what everything would be like

or so I thought.

I was so naive and in my lonely quietness I laugh remembering when I

Thought it was the end and that I couldn't go through it anymore.

Yet, here I am today, all wise, all essence, all woman.

At one point I wanted to run away from it all, but the smallest part of me

who knew better kept me on my bare feet touching the ground.

So what Have I learned?

I have learned to say goodbye to the "little black book"

and hello to "only me".

This sensation of being new and powerful is so delicious that it brings

a great feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment.

So here I am a great woman, superwoman I am now!

All wise, all essence, all woman.

I know it intimidates the opposite sex, but whoever is intimidated

does not deserve it.

I love it and I am not willing to change it and that is why you like me.

You like me because I am stronger than what you thought I would be.

And your doubts are what keep me stronger and more open to new

experiences and opportunities,

I am all wise, all essence, all woman...

Prayer

2012-05-05T00:17:00.000-04:00

Searching in the heavens and the depths of my heart for a peace that has been promised to me, but can not find. I become vulnerable in Your presence and I fall down to my knees in prayer thinking may be this time You will grant me what I want. I don't think You are listening to my request as You turn Your face from mine. Yes, I am claiming divine attention with my arms up in the air, waiting for You to pour Your Grace over my disgraceful vessel. Hear me out, I tell You, hear me out! Where are You my Lord? Can't You see that I have grown weary and hopeless running behind a purpose that doesn't let me focus because it is quickly gone out of sight. I am thirsty. Give me Your Mercy. I am hungry. Feed me Your Word. Lift me up and hold me tight. Stretch out your hand and reach for me as I fall. Guide me in Your Way...

Can Not Stop

2012-03-26T01:13:00.002-04:00

Taking a drag that will sure intoxicate my lungs, I place the tip of the black permanent marker on my old and dirty wall that dare calls herself part of my room. As soon as the two of them connect the love making starts and they can not stop. He smoothly traces her as always and she lets him lie because it makes her feel alive. Sweet talking her, he tells her everything she wants to hear and she takes it all in as if it was the first and last time they will be together.

I want to interrupt because I know what she feels, yet I am trapped in the moment as much as she is. His words begin to convince me also, but since he is not talking to me I can sip my scotch and escape the trance he has forged and I take another drag. I hold him back and tell him to analyze the situation, the hurt he causes her, the fantasy that he builds and the tears that will come. She looks at me as begging for me to let him continue and they unite again. Their passion is greater than any energy I have ever experienced, so I am pulled back into their sick game. I hold him, he touches her whispering the perfect lines as she cries from mixed emotions that she allows to consume her. We can not stop. He is the criminal, she is the victim. I am the witness, the accomplice and the traitor that brings him back to her.

After half of the scotch is gone I tell him that I have to depart. I can not stop them but I can sure delay this madness that I have created. He begs for me not to let go, she becomes cold as ice and I grow weak. I drop him, she closes her eyes falling asleep with deep sadness. I light up another cigarette. Taking my glass, I lay down reading her over and over until I drift off to a dream, numb, empty and real.

Y Escribio

2011-12-28T03:09:00.001-05:00

Y escribio en mi cuaderno,

Lo que pense ser lo mas tierno y tal vez eterno.

Pero luego de esa ilusion, llego el invierno.

"Entre que me crees y no me crees no sabes lo bien que me siento contigo. Hay muchas cosas que me gustaria decirte pero creo que no es el momento exacto ni oportuno. Cada dia trato de entender como dos persona pueden unirse como solo uno..."

Todavia espero el momento oportuno que me digas esas cosas que nunca llegan,

Entre besos y caricias que siempre tu amor me niegan y me ciegan,

Entonces aprovenchandose, con mi corazon juegan.

Ahora entiendo porque no te creia.

Mi alma le decia a mi cabeza que tu me mentias y encondias,

Secretos y engaños y con tu cuerpo me decias...

Me voy pero no me dejes,

Te doy la espalda, espero que te manejes y no te alejes,

Y pase lo que pase nunca te quejes.

Todavia no puedo entender,

Como de un ser, dos individuos puedan crecer,

Y no querer caminar juntos hacia un nuevo amanecer.

La espera se hizo dolorosa y larga,

Volviendose en una carga muy amarga,

Que hasta el dia de hoy tu ser embarga.

Y escribi:

Despues de mirarme en el espejo,

Comprendi que esto siempre estuvo desparejo.

Tomare mi sabio consejo y es por eso que de ti me alejo.

Asi que buena suerte, ya no quiero verte.

Solo supe quererte,

Pero he crecido y ya soy una persona mas fuerte.

2011-10-27T00:33:00.003-04:00

New posts coming soon!

Las Estaciones

2011-09-01T23:42:00.000-04:00

Tu sonrisa me ilumina como dulce amanecer de otoño,

Y mi alegria aumenta como arbol que crece un nuevo retoño.

Tus abrazos me confortan como abrigo en el invierno,

Y tus labios en mi frente son de lo mas tierno.

Tu cariño me satisface como aroma de prado en primavera,

Y tus besos llenan mi ser de todas maneras.

Tus caricias encienden mi piel como fogata en noche de verano,

Y tus ojos hacen nuestro encuentro cada vez mas cercano.

Letras Que Amanecen

2011-08-22T02:40:00.003-04:00

A veces no escribo por meses

Y de repente aparecen

Ideas que me ofrecen

Una pasion por escribir.

Recuerdos que me mecen

Y a veces me enfurecen

Son los que me fortalecen

Y me empujan a seguir.

Asi es como acontecen

Estas lineas y florecen

Maravillas que nunca fallecen

Sin mucho admitir.

Experiencias y palabras que abastecen

A mi mente y me enloquecen

A medida que me favorecen

Y me ayudan a vivir.

Pick The Title

2011-08-18T10:06:00.000-04:00

It does not sink in however, I absorb it.

I do not look away but, I turn around.

I avoid facing "it" yet, I confront.

I have no clue how to invent though, I have great ideas.

I can not lie still, I pretend.

I am not tough although, I am hard.

Intelligence is not my trait nevertheless, I am smart.

I am not exotic however, I am sensual.

I am not fit but, I look good.

I can not give you what you want yet, I am the best lover.

Though only partially, I am usually loved.

I am not religious still, I am God's number one fan.

I can not sing although, I do it everyday.

I am not perfect nevertheless, I am ME.

Thankful

2011-08-07T01:16:00.001-04:00

Writing is almost like breathing to me. It helps me analyze my life and express what I feel better than if I talked about it. On this post I will share something I wrote in one of my notebooks and I will make it public for the first time ever.

Thank you for each morning You allow me to wake up to see my children one more time in good health.
Thank You for my children who don't allow me the time to feel sorry for myself.
Thank You for the gifted mother You have assigned to me, who doesn't cease to help in the bad and good moments.
Thank You for the wise father that each day motivates me to be a better person for myself and family.
Thank You for the little brother whose strong character speaks Your Word at exactly the right occasions in life.

Thank You for the true friends that do not leave me alone, regardless of the selfishness I offer them.
Thank You for my second half, that completes me making me feel alive.
Thank You for the roof over my head and the food You provide to me daily. For the clothes I wear may be if I shouldn't and for the vehicle that have become my two feet.

Thank You for the beautiful sunrise in my backyard and the amazing sunset I witness at my front steps.
Thank You for the warm summer nights and the snowy bright days.
Thank You for rescuing me from the darkness and letting me rest the next day.
Thank You for Your constant presence.
Thank You for Your existence and Your mercy, Your glory and Your love, that offer a meaning to me writing to YOU!

Introduction

2011-08-05T01:50:00.000-04:00

Yes, it's me Nenu and I have a blog dedicated to all my friends and family. Especially for those who know how much I like to talk. For those of you who don't know me yet I am an inquisitive 30 year old woman who doesn't cease to be amazed of everything that life has to offer. I was born in Buenos Aires, Argentina from Uruguayan parents. I have a brother who is also my best friend and I am blessed with two beautiful children. Enough about me though. As you read my blogs you will get to know me better and how I think.

So here I am 1:22 am starting something out of nothing...well, actually something out of the great idea of talking about any topic people might find interesting. You post it and I'll write about it and will try my best to give the most accurate information I find. Also anyone that is interested in posting any literature as poems, other blogs or articles, feel free to contact me and I will gladly work with you.

This will be a fun journey of discussions and learning along some arguments, compliments and entertainment. I would like to thank everyone in advance for getting involved in this fun activity I have started and hope to hear from all of you.

See you soon,

La Nenu